


Coffee, Bullets, and Lady Luck

by Vanemis



Series: The Book of Eden [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Asexual Character, Bathing/Washing, Bunker, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time Blow Jobs, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Living Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Mention of torture, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redemption, Resist Ending, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2019-09-04 03:16:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 56
Words: 213,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16775344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanemis/pseuds/Vanemis
Summary: Forced to live underground to survive the end of the world, Rook and Joseph have to put aside their differences to survive and learn how to co-exist. When it becomes clear that they are not alone anymore, Joseph learns that family does not equal blood. But how far is he willing to go for Rook?





	1. I don't want to set the world on fire

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work I've done for this fandom and it has been an amazing time writing this. It is currently a work in progress but the plot is clear to me. I hope you enjoy this story and let me know what you think so far.

It was beyond unsettling how calm Joseph was, as if the tremors in the ground and the blistering wave of dusty heat didn't concern him. While the locals started screaming and sobbing deafeningly, he stood there with an easy smile; observing Rook's reaction. 

The sprint to the car happened in flashes, Rook’s mind too stressed, too fearful, to really register what was happening. People were yelling in the backseat. When Rook glanced back in the rear-view mirror, he caught Joseph watching him. A shudder ran down his spine. He probably never stopped watching Rook. 

The crash was bound to happen. With flaming trees collapsing on the road and dying animals throwing themselves towards the safety of the water, Rook knew that something would go wrong in their escape. It had been a pattern since the first day. 

In those blanked out minutes between the golden glow of the mushroom cloud and the car swerving too close to the trees, Rook can honestly admit he didn’t think much. 

He had no family back home, at least anyone he held contact with. The people closest to his heart were burning alive or bickering behind him. He wished they would shut up. There was no melancholy for the dying world. Rook just focused on driving. 

It took him sometime to understand he was being dragged from the car. He felt his body being moved in various directions but mostly, he registered the searing heat around him and the hands that held him up. Soon enough, he drifted into unconsciousness and he was grateful for the darkness that claimed him. Maybe he wouldn’t have to survive this at all.

When Rook woke, he was cold. The concrete beneath him was unpleasant and as he moved to make himself more comfortable, his hands stayed handcuffed to the bedpost. He rattled the chain, pulled his wrists away without any result except faint pain where the metal cut too deep.

Glancing around, he recognised immediately where he was. Dutch's bunker. And Joseph stood there before him with his arms crossed. Suddenly everything clicked into place and for a nauseating moment, Rook thought he would be sick. He took deep breaths, edged away from the threat of a panic attack. His eyes focused again but the chill in his bones never left. When he glanced back up, the leader was still staring.

“What did you do?” Rook asked, his throat raw and abused from the smoke he’d inhaled earlier. 

“I didn’t do anything, Deputy. This was all you. I warned you that the collapse was coming and so here we are.” Joseph was still so irritatingly calm but he wasn’t smiling and his eyes were hardened, almost glaring venomously at Rook.

“Bullshit! How could this be my fault? And where’s Dutch?” 

“Not here,” the leader stated, pushing himself away from the wall to grab a water bottle. He knelt before Rook, close enough that the Deputy could smash his face with one quick move, and held out the bottle.

Rook couldn’t grab it, his hands unable to reach. He was so very tempted to knock those stupid glasses off but he stayed put. Harming Joseph now would get him nowhere, not while he was stuck like this. 

“You killed him,” Rook realised, his voice level. He wasn’t shocked but it did sting. Joseph said nothing to that but his eyes betrayed him.

“You have a choice to make, Deputy. We are both trapped down here and this bunker isn’t as spacious or sustainable enough as mine or my siblings'. There is enough food and water to last us a good year, maybe more if we're careful. Deputy, you can stay here with me and walk free. Or you can be chained to this bed until it is time to leave. The decision is yours to make.”

“I have a better idea. I’ll just kill you and double my supplies.”

Something akin to a prideful smirk pulled at Joseph's lips and in the emergency lighting, it looked downright terrifying. He leaned in closer, his words barely a whisper, and Rook couldn’t pull back.

“You and I both know what happens when you try to force your way, Deputy. God won’t allow it and _I_ certainly will _not_ let you kill me.”

Joseph turned his head to look at Rook, knowing his words shot fear through the Deputy. He pressed his forehead to Rook's, like he’d done a thousand times to his siblings and followers, and stayed there for a moment. Rook didn’t dare close his eyes when Joseph did. He watched the man he’d so severely underestimated and when Joseph put space between them again, Rook stared at the water bottle. 

It was a peace offering. 

“Well, my child, have you made your choice? Will you confine yourself to this room or will you behave?” 

Rook nodded faintly and met Joseph's eyes, trying hard not to shrink under their scrutiny. 

“I’ll behave.” 

Once the words were uttered, Rook felt instant relief and Joseph seemed to have a similar effect. The leader placed the bottle down and dug through the front pocket of his jeans for the key to the handcuffs. Joseph's hands were warm as he placed them over Rook’s to release him, trailing a thumb over the red marks. He picked up the bottle again and this time Rook could take it.

He dared to chug more than he needed but Joseph’s warning about the rations kept him at bay. He took only what he needed. By the time he screwed the lid on again, Joseph was watching with a smile. The leader stood up and rested a hand on Rook’s cheek, his thumb caressing his temple gently, but the Deputy didn’t trust that calm facade. 

After a moment, Joseph spoke up. “You made the right choice this time.” And then he walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him. Rook waited to hear a lock but it never came.

\---

The bunker was quiet, littered with Dutch's belongings and trash. Rook had explored the little concrete home on his first visit, sneaking around while Dutch worried over radio signals and convoys. He more or less knew where everything was kept and he made sure to check the rations his ally had put aside for such an occasion.

Joseph had told the truth. There was enough to survive but not to _live_. Dutch had clearly eaten through his stash and either forgotten to refill or simply didn’t care. Regardless, Dutch wasn’t here anymore and food wouldn’t just magically appear. They had to be careful. 

The weapons in the workshop were gone, though. Rook hadn’t expected to find them lying around but it made him uneasy thinking about Joseph with a gun and himself with nothing. But it put something into perspective: neither could kill the other. Well, physically yes, but the body couldn’t just be shoved outside. It would stay locked here.

That meant Dutch was still here somewhere in the bunker.

Rook stopped searching and left the darkened rooms to themselves. 

He walked to the living area basked in the blue glow of the aquarium, unnerved by the silence. The only sound came from his echoing footsteps and the bubbles in the tank. The fish were lucky to be oblivious to the chaos, taking laps between the rocks and algae. A pot of flakes sat beside the tank and Rook pinched a couple, crumbling it just above the water. He watched with an amused smile as the little creatures all stopped and jutted up to the surface, eagerly feeding. Rook tried not to think about how few flakes were in the pot. 

He sat down on the beaten couch, exhausted from everything. There hadn't been a moment to pause and unwind before and now that’s all there was to do. Nothing was threatening his life and now all he had was the company of a crazy cult leader and a dozen small fish. What a promising life. 

Quickly, he became jittery. His fingers drummed on his knees, his leg bounced, and he had traced the outline of the room at least five times. Pacing provided no release from boredom, it didn’t tire him, not even when he walked the length of the bunker up and down. There was no sign of Joseph so he carried on pacing until the bunker doors came into view. The metal frame before them was not sealed so Rook passed through and walked up the steps.

Wind whipped the trees. Rook could hear it from behind the thick lead. For a moment, he thought he heard the roar of the flames. His hand reached out and his fingertips brushed the metal. It was warm, almost comforting compared to the chill of the concrete.

There was nothing out there for him. He pulled his hand away, brushed the dust onto his jeans, and went back to his agitated pacing.

Rook couldn’t say how long had passed between the crash and his awakening, but it had been several hours since he'd seen the cultist. Wherever Joseph had holed up, Rook didn’t know and he wouldn’t start searching for him now even if there weren’t many places to hide. In fact, he didn’t have to. Joseph found him in his room.

It was one of those rare occasions when the man wore a shirt. Raided from Dutch's closest the dark plaid hung off his skinny frame awkwardly and the cuffs were too high on his bony wrists. At least Rook didn’t have to look at the words carved into his torso that reminded him Joseph had been right. He could ignore it for the time being.

“What the fuck do you want?” Rook spat, not bothering to give Joseph more than a couple seconds of eye contact before he stuck his nose back into a hunting magazine.

To his credit, Joseph hardly reacted. Rook noticed a slight twitch in the man's fingers where he gripped his wrist too tightly but he overly remained calm. It bothered Rook to no end.

“I prepared dinner, if you'd care to join me.”

“You can cook?” It wasn’t a spiteful question. Rook genuinely wanted to know.

“If you can call warming up some cans of questionable meats cooking. But yes, I can. Rather well, I must admit but I won’t have a chance to demonstrate anytime soon.” 

Rook had to glance up at Joseph then. The man had made an attempt at a joke, it still lingered as a faint smile. Although it was tempting to tell the cultist to fuck himself, Rook was beginning to get hungry and he didn’t want to waste food just to spite the man. 

He tossed the magazine onto the pillow beside him and stood. Joseph pushed himself off the wall with his shoulder and led the way, even if Rook knew exactly where to go. 

The table was set as best as possible, considering dinner was a tin each of mystery meat and half a bottle of water which had been poured and measured. Rook scoffed at the candle set between them, like this was some cute date and not the end of the world. 

Thankfully, Joseph didn’t hold out Rook’s chair for him. He sat down and ate without waiting. Rook joined him, poking at his food before putting it in his mouth. It tasted bad, there was no other description. Comparable to dog food but he wouldn’t even have fed this to Boomer. Rook's stomach twisted and he almost dropped his fork. 

“Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do about taste,” Joseph stated when he saw the Deputy's face pale and his hand shake. 

Rook shook his head, swallowing what little he had left in his mouth, and looked at the cultist. “Tell me something.”

“Yes?” 

“Your Eden's Gate- Is it just for humans?” 

Joseph was surprised but indulged Rook. “Not necessarily. It is sanctuary for those who have been cleansed and chosen. Why do you ask?”

“Does that mean animals can get there?”

Rook couldn’t hold up to that stare, he dropped his head and tried to ignore how pathetic he sounded. 

“Of course,” Joseph said without hesitation. “Animals are pure, they cannot be swayed by sin. Again, why?”

“I had a dog. I left him with a friend before... well, _before_.”

An uncomfortable silence grew between them and Joseph looked away. Rook thought he saw guilt in his eyes.

“I shouldn’t have asked.” Rook went back to his less than appetising meal. Joseph watched him for a moment before eating again. 

Rook finished first and dropped the can in the trash, taking his water with him for the night. He always got thirsty before bed. It made him remember that Dutch had only one bed.

“Hey, umm, where am I sleeping tonight?”

“The bed.”

“Don’t you want it?”

Joseph finished up, throwing his can away too. “Yes.”

“But-“ 

“The bunk beds in the next room will suit me fine. If you plan to shower tonight, make it quick. The water is recycled constantly but the fuel for the boiler is limited.” With that, Joseph stepped past Rook and into a closet to drag out a couple blankets.

“Have a good night, Deputy,” he said as he went past again and disappeared down the hall.

Rook stood there for a moment in silence before he blew on the candle and went to Dutch’s old room. The emergency lights were still on, blaring red. Thankfully there was no alarm or flashing lights accompanying it. As he walked past, he glanced at the closed door of the spare room. 

\---

He sat on the edge of the bed after setting his glass down and peeled off his jacket and shoes. Crawling under the sheets, Rook lay with his head covered. He couldn’t stop the sob that escaped him. He yanked the sheet off and hugged the pillow, weeping into it.

Everyone was gone. Boomer, Hurk, Sharky, Grace. All his allies, everybody he'd saved from the cult in one way or another. They had come so close, Rook had seen the end of the cult coming and he'd been the one leading the resistance. What if he hadn't done anything? Just walked away or joined Joseph's cult. Would he still be in some bunker but surrounded by new friends? 

It didn’t matter.

None of it mattered.

The world was over. Joseph had been right and Rook had destroyed their chances at survival. Those bunkers could have been used but now they sat in ruin. Because of him. 

Joseph was always right. 

\---

Joseph could not sleep for long before a nightmare dragged him back into awareness. He lay down on his back, the rusted springs under his mattress creaking with every movement, and stared at the ceiling. Just a few metres above his head, the world was burning alive. 

It didn’t feel as good as he had imagined. Every vision ended in flames and he’d come to peace with that. He had no ties to the material world, nothing he would miss. The internet was full of lies, technology only spread that poison further, and the few personal belongings he'd kept were gone like everything else. He was okay with that. He had to be.

It was obvious what he missed. His family. Of course, he knew that and the idea of holding onto his brothers, John trapped and laughing between the two eldest, made Joseph reach out in the dark until he touched the rough texture of the ceiling as tears fell. 

God had shown him a lonely world but there had been moments where his brothers were at his side. He’d tried to push things in that direction but God had chosen otherwise. He was to spend eternity with the Deputy or however long it would take before Wrath showed its ugly face and Joseph would join his siblings. 

When exhaustion finally knocked him out, it did nothing to replenish his energy. Joseph felt worse than before. His body ached and he knew it wasn’t just because of the effort he'd put in the day before, fighting and surviving the hail of bullets. It was a deeper pain.

Joseph only became aware of the time when Rook opened his door. In the quiet bunker, everything sounded too loud. He followed the Deputy into the kitchen, heard him rummaging around with mugs and water before he reached the threshold. Joseph had seen the coffee in the cupboards, enough for many months. The old owner clearly had an addiction.

Soon enough the scent reached him as the Deputy turned and sat at the little table. The man had clearly not gained from his rest. 

“Morning,” Rook greeted with a mug in hand. The steam rose in thick curls. 

“Good morning, Deputy.” Joseph finally stepped inside. “How did you sleep?” 

Rook shrugged. “Like shit. I don’t even know what to do. There’s nothing here _to do_. How long do we have to be down here?”

“The fires have to die down before we can even think of leaving. Plus, the risk of radiation is too great and without the proper protection-”

“We’re stuck down here,” Rook interrupted. Joseph nodded solemnly. “Okay, so we don’t have a lot of food or fuel. Up there is too dangerous. You didn’t think this one through, did you?”

“Excuse me?” Joseph snarled abruptly, startling Rook as he strode up to him. “I _was_ prepared. I had shelters built to withstand years of isolation, enough fuel and supplies to keep a hundred people living in comfort. My people were ready, everything was ready, but you-” Joseph jabbed a finger into Rook’s chest, his glare keeping the Deputy quiet. “You had to destroy everything!”

Rook lowered his head, clutching the mug tightly as Joseph bordered on yelling.

He heard the man take deep breaths and Joseph walked out of the room without another word.


	2. The painful similarity between you and God

They didn’t seek each other out. Rook wanted to lie down, sleep through the rest of the day. Joseph, well he didn’t know what Joseph was doing but they almost collided into each other as Joseph came around a corner. Rook flinched away, stepping back out of sudden fright.

Joseph watched him quietly. His shirt was pulled up to his elbows and his pale arms were smeared with oil and dirt. Strands of hair escaped his hair tie, clinging to his sweaty forehead.

“What were you doing?” Rook asked, observing the mess and trying to peer behind Joseph.

“The engineering in this bunker isn’t very- To put it bluntly, it needs repairs. I know my way around this stuff.” Joseph didn’t need to point out how he knew, he fixed Rook with a cold stare. 

“Could you show me? I mean, I don’t know shit about this kinda stuff and if something goes wrong or breaks, at least I’ll know what to do.” Rook wasn’t good with words but the surprise on Joseph’s face was worth the stammer and awkwardness. 

He was stunned, trying to decipher whether Rook was joking. After a moment, he nodded and walked back the way he came. Close to the exit was a small door, hidden behind some shelves Joseph had pushed aside.

The walls were made mostly of pipes, leading to various machines. The boiler stood to one side, ancient and rusted. Beside it was a fuel tank and some other bits and bobs Rook had no clue what were for. Joseph reached up and pulled on a cord, suddenly lighting the room in a bright light. Rook winced, shielding his eyes. 

“I imagine most of this bunker was assembled at least two decades ago. What isn’t rusted needs to be tightened, bolted down more, or even replaced entirely. Since that isn’t an option, I think I can take apart some pipes to reconnect them elsewhere.”

“You can do that?” 

Joseph sighed. “I’ve done it before but never on this scale. It will take time. For now, I’ll show you how to use the boiler and check the tank.”

It was easier than Rook expected. Despite his brief military training, he’d never had to check more than the oil in his vehicle or change tyres. Joseph was a good teacher, made Rook practice a couple times until the information stuck. When he was satisfied, he ended the ‘lesson’ and went back to his pipes and bolts. Rook sat with him, half watching what the man was tinkering with. His mind strayed more to the surface. He never was okay with being underground, hated being in caves or tight, dark places. 

“Do you think they’re okay?” Rook asked suddenly, breaking the companionable silence. Joseph stopped and put down his tools to look at the Deputy. “I mean, that bomb. It could’ve been dropped far away. People could have run and hid like we did.” 

“I hope so,” Joseph answered honestly after a pause. He met Rook’s eyes before the Deputy ducked his head. “But the world needed cleansing.”

“People died! Innocent people!” 

“Yes, they did. But could you have seen any other future? All the wars, the racial conflict between fellow men, the leaders in charge of our country; They didn’t suddenly appear, the politicians were elected and the unfortunate marginalised, and people stood by and let it happen.”

Rook sighed and rubbed his hands across his eyes, not willing to let Joseph see the wetness on his cheeks. 

“I don’t love death, Deputy. If those people could have changed their ways, let go of their hate, I would rejoice. But they didn’t and we have to hide underground like rats. Do you think I enjoy this? This is the way things are and the few smart people who knew what was coming... we have them to thank.”

Rook sneered harshly. “Yeah, killing Dutch was such a great thank you.”

Joseph fell silent. Rook laughed bitterly, there was no humour to it, and stepped out of the room. The red lights washed over him as he ran to the bunker doors. The metal had cooled and the wind no longer billowed.

The temptation was so strong, just to reach for the handle and leave Joseph and his prophecies behind. It was right there, right fucking there. His hand closed around the handle, gripped it tight until his fingers hurt.

His mind registered Joseph emerging from the maintenance room. Heard his steps and the way he stopped short of Rook, leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. He was waiting, measuring Rook. 

“Where is he?” 

“He’s not here,” Joseph replied softly.

“You said already. What does that even mean?” The fight had all but drained in Rook. His hand was latched onto the handle firmly as the rest of his body threatened to sway and collapse.

Joseph took a step closer. “It means just what I say. Your friend isn’t in the bunker.”

“Is he out there? Joseph, tell me where Dutch is...”

The leader sighed, as if he was the one getting tired of this chase. Rook wasn’t giving up. 

“When I carried you here, I had to make a choice whether I could keep him around. It didn’t matter to him that I had saved your life, all he saw was his own anger and hatred. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t see reason.” Joseph turned his head to the doors.

“You left him to die out there.”

“Whether he died was up to him. God needs you to survive, I need you to survive.”

Rook felt sick. His grip loosened and he dropped his hand back to his side, ignoring Joseph as he walked awayJoseph waited but Rook wasn’t going to come back any time soon. With a last glance to the exit, he went to the kitchen and grabbed a candle and a lighter. He sat on the floor and lit the candle, setting it just in front of his crossed legs, and prayed. 

The Voice was quiet, it never answered his questions. The other side didn’t speak to him and it left Joseph cold. He was so very much aware of his loneliness. 

When the candle burned out, he had strayed further from his path. 

\---

Rook was going to get sick very quick if he kept up his new lifestyle. He hadn’t left the bed in a couple of days, had rationed his water ridiculously, and his skin crawled with an icky, unwashed feeling. He just couldn’t find the strength to get up, not when his only companion had no remorse.

Joseph had knocked on the door a few times, tried to lure him out with food. He never entered or stayed longer than strictly necessary to pass on his message. Rook was grateful for that. That was until he did come in and Rook thoroughly wanted to chuck the empty glass at his head. He shuffled further under the blanket and tried to ignore Joseph’s patient presence.

“I can understand why you don’t want to see me, Deputy, but please eat something. It’s been four days. You can’t keep this up, you will die.”

Four days, huh? Rook hadn’t realised that long had passed.

He felt the bed dip and if he had an ounce of strength, he would kick Joseph off. Instead he tried to worm away and felt the threatening edge of the mattress. 

“Deputy?” Joseph pulled the blanket away from Rook’s head. “If this is your way of getting revenge, don’t risk your life over it.”

“Why does everything have to be about you?” Rook mumbled angrily into the pillow. It was wonder Joseph even understand him. “Maybe I just want to die! Maybe living my life trapped underground is my worst nightmare and to top it off I’m stuck with a psychopath! Did you ever think about that? No! Because it’s always about you and what you want. Or what _God_ wants, but to be honest I don’t see much distinction between you two. ”

Rook breathed heavily, the force of his argument chipping at his weak body. He briefly wondered what Jacob would think of this, but then he remembered he’ll never see the prick again and it suddenly didn't matter anymore what he would think.

“Do it for yourself then,” Joseph declared softly as his hand reached out and grabbed Rook’s shoulder to twist the Deputy to face him. “Everything you have done since you reached Hope County has been without doubt and you let nothing stopped you. Are you really going to let hunger destroy you? Perhaps your sin should have been Sloth if you’re content to just lie here and die like a wounded animal.”

Rook let himself be pushed down, glaring at Joseph. “You’re such an asshole.”

Joseph ignored him but Rook saw the faintest twitch in his lips. “There’s food waiting for you in the kitchen. Would you like me to bring it to you?” 

“Yeah. I don’t think I can walk right now.”

Joseph nodded and left, coming back a minute later with a can, water bottle, and a fork on a tray. He waited until Rook sat up to place it on his lap.

“What? No candle?” Rook managed to get a few bites in, ignoring the way his stomach curled up and he wanted to spit out the mystery meat. He stopped and looked up at Joseph, who stood there patiently. “Are you just gonna stay there the whole time I eat? It’s kinda off-putting.”

Joseph at least had the decency to look embarrassed. “Enjoy your meal and do try to take a shower.”

“If you want me to do that, you’re gonna have to fucking carry me in there.” Rook knew if he took one step out of bed, he’d fall flat on his face. The idea had jumped out of his throat before he could stop himself but Joseph wasn’t shocked or repulsed. 

“If you need me to take care of you, I will. It’s my duty as your Father.”

It was Rook’s turn to feel embarrassed and slightly repulsed. He cringed but deep down, he knew Joseph meant well. It’s just that his phrasing was beyond creepy. Joseph stepped out to let him eat in peace.

Rook set the tray on the floor and sighed contently, his belly full and his throat no longer parched. He’d chugged the bottle but considering he’d gone four days without using up supplies, he was allowed one bottle to himself. Joseph would have halved it if he had thought otherwise.

He felt tired despite his long stay in bed but it felt like a tiredness he couldn’t shake off. He moved the blanket aside and swung his legs over the edge, holding onto the bedside drawers as he shakily stood. The world spun and he fell back on the bed with an angry huff.

“Joseph?” He called out loudly and a snort escaped him when the leader rushed in. 

“Is everything okay?” 

Rook almost made fun of him for caring. “I’m fine but my legs won’t cooperate. Carry me.” Rook held his arms out and waved them like a child. He had no fucks to give in the moment and Joseph ignored his dramatic ass and stepped in to lift him up to his feet.

Rook swayed, his head momentarily dizzy, and he pushed against Joseph’s chest despite only being held up by his strong hands. When the world stopped doing loops, he let himself be led to the bathroom. Joseph sat him down on the toilet seat as he fiddled with the shower.

“Do you need help undressing?” He asked as he noticed the Deputy struggled to pull his shirt over his head. Tangled in the dirty fabric, Rook nodded. The shirt was pulled swiftly off and Rook felt very exposed as the leader helped him out of his clothes. They were the same he’d worn since waking up close to a week ago.

“You don’t have to do this,” Rook mumbled as he watched Joseph throw his clothes to one side. 

“I want to help you,” Joseph answered simply. He helped Rook stand and gave the Deputy privacy as he climbed into the cubicle. Rook knew after a moment he had to kneel so he wouldn’t slip and break something. He left the door open so he could hear the man over the water.

“I know this must be awkward for you, so... Thank you, Joseph.”

The leader almost glanced over his shoulder, barely stopping himself, but Rook could tell the words had affected him positively. He never thought he’d have reason to say that. 

“You’re welcome. And it isn’t.” He paused, judging whether he should keep talking. “When I reunited with John, a long time ago now, he had abused his body with drugs. The worst kind. It was a challenge to clean him up. There were many difficult nights, few times he was entirely dependent on me. I have no issue taking care of someone in need, Deputy. Regardless of their past and or their sins.”

“Why did he do that?” 

“He was lost, surrounded by lust and greed. The world he’d grown into was a hateful one. I suppose he thought it would be easier to forget it all, bury himself in money and cocaine and sex. But he atoned for his sins and healed himself.”

Rook started to clean himself slowly. He wasn’t trying to enjoy the hot water, though it was a nice treat, or waste the fuel. He was just too weak to go any faster. Joseph didn’t rush him, he sat on the toilet seat and kept his eyes on the wall in front of him. When Rook finished up, Joseph threw him a large towel and left for a moment to bring him fresh clothes. He dressed Rook quickly before leading him back to bed. 

Sleep tried to dig its claws into Rook and he was ready to drop as he hit the pillow. Joseph sat beside him and pulled up the blankets to Rook’s chin.

“Will you keep fighting?” Joseph asked, his voice barely a whisper. 

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“You do but I admit, I’m a little biased as to which option you should pick.”

Rook huffed, observing Joseph. The man was always so calm and it had always irritated Rook, but now he was grateful for his peaceful behaviour.

“You just don’t want to be alone.” Rook meant it as a joke but something painful shined in the cultist’s eyes.

“No. No, I don’t want to be alone,” Joseph admitted as he leaned down, one hand cupping Rook’s cheek, and pressed their foreheads together. “You’re all I have left, Deputy. I don’t want to see your light fade.”

Joseph pulled back and swiped a thumb under Rook’s eye where a tear had trailed down without his knowledge. He smiled gently and stood, patting the blanket to smooth it out.

“Sleep well, Deputy,” he added before shutting the door behind him. 

Before the door could click, Rook sat up a bit. “You too.” 

Joseph smiled and nodded, closing the door. He carried that smile to his own bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is enjoying this fic, do let me know!!


	3. Airwaves

The days turned into weeks and rolled by quietly without a fight manifesting between them, which itself was feat Rook thought impossible. They shared their meals together and drifted apart during the day to work on their personal projects. 

For Joseph, it was to repair each little thing in the bunker. He’d moved out of the maintenance room, moving on to the electrics. Rook stayed far from that in fear of being electrocuted. The cultist made a few hisses and bitten off curses once in a while as he rewired the kitchen and living room. He quickly stopped himself before swearing but Rook had noticed the frustration and tried not to laugh. At some point, Joseph would get annoyed enough to go from ‘ _heck_ ’ to ‘ _fuck_ ’ and Rook would be there for that moment. 

That was where most of his entertainment came from these days as he’d put a pause on reading. There were only so many hunting and shooting magazines down here and Rook started limiting himself to one per week so he wasn’t forced to re-read. He spent a bit of time in the workshop, seeing what machines did what and he was under the firm belief that bullets could be manufactured. It was what Dutch would’ve wanted.  Problem was that he didn't know how and Dutch hadn't left a handy-dandy manual lying around.

“Deputy?” Joseph called out one evening from the kitchen. Rook was up on his feet quicker than he would have been before this, and that little voice in his head told him to make the cultist wait. But he found he couldn’t do that so he reached him in less than a minute.

Rook took in the scene; wires everywhere, tools on the tables and armchairs, all cast in the glow of the fish tank and the gas lantern. Joseph himself looked ecstatic. That was the only word that came to mind and Rook raised a brow.

“Turn on the lights.” 

Rook flicked the switch on the wall. The room flooded with a golden glow, most coming from the string lights thrown over the support beams of the ceiling. The kitchen had its own lamp above the table. 

“Whoa...” Rook matched the grin on Joseph’s face. He’d never seen the man so happy but he felt why. “This is great, we can actually see properly!” 

“Would you be opposed if I lit the rest of the bunker?”

“You fixed it all?” Rook stood beneath the tiny dots of gold and looked back at Joseph. The man nodded and stepped out into the corridor to flick some switches in the power box. Suddenly the whole bunker lit up with golden lights and the warning red disappeared. 

The sound of music startled them both. 

Joseph looked more concerned than confused and Rook followed him into the surveillance room where the monitors had turned back on. The cameras were still functioning but the images only showed a grey, burned landscape in which the trees were all dead stumps and shards. The country rock came from an old record player in the corner. Rook pulled the needle away and unplugged the machine.

Joseph was staring at the screens, his fingers bumping against them. The grin was long gone, like it had never been there. Rook watched the screens too, waiting for any movement or sign of life, but the image was stuck on that same view. 

“Joseph?” Rook flicked his eyes to the cultist, gently saying his name. The man blinked and turned away, but not before Rook saw wetness on his cheeks. “I think we should try the radio, see if anyone is out there.”

That broke the man out of his trance. Rook nodded towards the machine, its display tempting Rook to reach out for the speaker. Joseph followed his stare and ducked his head, bracing his hands on the table. His shoulders shook slightly and it wasn’t from the chill of the bunker.

Rook reached with a hesitant hand, unsure of what he was trying to do. He rested his hand on Joseph’s shoulder and the man tensed, his fists clenching. Rook thought he should pull away, give Joseph a break and leave him alone. But Joseph looped an arm around his back to keep Rook planted next to him.

“I think you should too,” he confirmed with a shaky nod, his voice wavering. 

Rook pulled out of Joseph’s hold reluctantly. Aside from his help in the shower, the Deputy hadn’t felt physical contact in ages. At the time, he’d been too weak to appreciate his touch. He moved around Joseph to sit in the chair, grabbing the speaker and flicking on dials until he heard a familiar crackle. 

“This is Deputy Rook, is anyone out there?” 

Rook switched channels, repeating the phrase. Each frequency held nothing but silence. He glanced up at Joseph. The man stayed silent, hunched over the desk but watching the machine with a scrutinising stare. 

“This is Rook, is anybody still alive? Please, if you can hear me, let me know you’re okay. I don’t care what side you’re on. Any Peggies or Resistance members out there?”

The channels stayed quiet, the buzz and crackle the only noise filling the room. Rook put down the speaker, sighing and rubbing at his eyes.

“We can’t give up. Joseph, let’s keep the radio on. We’ll turn everything else off but we need this on.”

“Okay.” Joseph looked more tired and strung-out than Rook. He pushed away from the table and stretched. “I’m going to start dinner.” He walked out, leaving Rook staring longingly at the screens for some sign of life.

Joseph insisted on sitting at the table like a civilised person, even when Rook stupidly pointed out that civilisation didn’t exist anymore. That put a damper on the already sour mood. Even if the couch was a much comfier place to enjoy his can of mild and over-salted chilli, Rook sat opposite him. 

The lights had been switched off, leaving the tank and gas lantern to cast a bright, almost-painful blue over their meal. It was like being at the aquarium again, only much more depressing. The fish weren’t even piranhas or something else badass and with lots of teeth. Rook made sure to feed them before he sat down.

“I’ll keep trying every day. Twice if I can. We can’t have been the only two idiots to find shelter,” Rook said, trying to lighten the mood. Joseph hadn’t spoken a word since the radio. For such a talkative man, it was rather unnerving.

“We have to keep trying,” Rook persisted. Finally, Joseph cracked.

“And if we’re the only ones?” His words were spit harshly like he was sick and tired of Rook and his dreams of rescue.

“We can’t be. What, in the whole world, only two guys are left? You’d think God would’ve tried to keep at least one chick alive-”

“Don’t joke about that.” 

Rook was steering things down a road he didn’t want to explore. Joseph was pissed. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just meant-”

“I know what you meant.”

“Oh, okay.” 

Rook fell silent. He had no clue how to cheer Joseph up. In fact, he didn’t know why he was even trying to in the first place. Something about being stuck with the guy made Rook not want to make an even bigger enemy of him. Before he could conjure up a better apology or say something not hurtful, Joseph had already stood up and thrown his cutlery in the sink and tidied up after himself. Rook couldn’t stop him from abruptly leaving either.

\---

Rook felt no rush to crawl into bed. He sat by the tank, observing the fish and occasionally reading the same passage of Wildlife Weekly for the past two hours. The clock on the kitchen wall was the only way of telling the time. There were no other clocks and the cameras had no time stamps. Rook hoped the batteries were new.

When it was close to one o’clock, Rook lifted himself from the chair with a groan. His neck ached and his hand barely relieved the pain as he rubbed into the skin. He looked around the room for anything to do but Joseph was unbelievable tidy and therefore left nothing to clean or rearrange except the used forks. It took less than a minute to wash them and put them back in the drawer. After that, there really was nothing to do.

Rook might as well go to bed. 

He switched the light of the tank off to give the poor fish a break. He’d never been a fan of fluorescent lights near animals. 

As he turned down the corridor towards the bedrooms, he noticed a glow filtering under the door of the surveillance room. It flickered like a flame, drawing Rook closer. He pressed his ear to the door but heard no sound. His hand pushed down the handle before he could stop himself, and the door creaked gently as he peeked through the gap.

Joseph sat in the chair, slumped onto the desk as a candle burned by the edge. Rook realised the preacher was asleep. He was tempted to walk away but he had an inkling Joseph would know he’d seen him and left him like this. It would only worsen the mood.He walked inside completely, no longer hiding behind the door, and stood beside him. It would be so easy to end him right there and then. There were many objects Rook could turn into a weapon if needed and Joseph wouldn’t stand a chance. 

Instead, he rested a hand on the cultist’s shoulder and gave it a small shake. 

“Joseph? Come on, you gotta wake up.” 

The man hummed and slowly roused himself, picking his head up off his folded arms. He looked around, confused, before he noticed Rook and he sat up with a heavy sigh.

“Why did you wake me? Is something wrong?” His Georgian accent stuck to his drowsy voice and Rook was surprised it still lingered after so long in Montana. He’d read about Joseph’s past some time ago but that info hadn’t meant anything to him.

“No, I just thought you should sleep in a bed. You know, like a normal person.”

Joseph laughed. It was so quiet and quick that Rook almost missed it behind the sound of the chair scraping the floor as he stood. 

“You’re right. Thank you, Deputy.” Joseph leaned down to blow out the candle and led the way to the end of the corridor. He opened the door to his room and Rook followed. 

“What were you doing in there?” Rook asked, standing by the door, watching Joseph grab what he assumed were pyjama bottoms. The preacher paused.

“I was praying.”

“For what?”

“For my family, for my brothers to have made it to Eden’s Gate. For the world to have finally understood their wrongdoings. And I prayed for guidance.”

Rook shifted uncomfortably at the mention of Joseph’s family but he should have expected it. In the long run, Joseph cared more for his family than anyone ever did for Rook.

“Guidance? I thought the Voice told you what to do and all that.”

Joseph shook his head and extended a hand, gesturing for Rook to sit on the opposite bed. He was more than pleased to share this with Rook, in the hopes it would help the Deputy understand. It might make their lives just a bit easier.

“It’s not like that. I saw visions in my life, snippets of the future and what the outcomes of each path would lead to. But I was never given a straight answer. I was merely nudged by God in the right direction.” Joseph paused again to pull off the dark shirt. Rook didn’t feel the need to avert his eyes, he could describe Joseph’s chest by heart. “I need guidance because when I saw that camera feed, I felt a pain in my heart.”

“Why?”

It was such a simple but weighed question. Was Joseph feeling remorse after all?

“I don’t know why. I have ideas but nothing concrete.” When he met Rook’s stare, he realised his answer wasn’t enough. “I miss my family and perhaps seeing the reality of our world reminded me that I wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t save them, not from themselves and not from humanity. I wasn’t what they needed me to be...”

Joseph didn’t realise that he was crying until he felt the bed move and an arm wrapped around his shoulders. Rook was trying to comfort him. It was sweet, really.

“I’m alright. I’m fine. You don’t have to-”

“Sshh, you don’t have to be fine. Just be you, it’s only us down here.”

Joseph nodded but it was like he couldn’t let that calm façade down for even a second. He’d become so entangled in being the Father, he’d forgotten he was just a guy from Georgia.After a long time, Rook let his arm fall away. He didn’t miss the way Joseph leaned into the touch. The preacher rubbed at his eyes and cheeks and sniffed, but it seemed like he’d gotten most of it out of his system. He just looked very tired.

“You should get some rest, Joseph.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Rook stood to give him some privacy but a hand grabbed his wrist, keeping him in place. “Would you stay here tonight?” 

“Umm...”

“You don’t have to. I just... I’d like some company,” Joseph mumbled as he lost his charisma and a tired man was left behind. Rook had already comforted him and what was one night when Joseph looked like that? 

“No, it’s fine. Let me just get changed.”

Rook left the room, hiding in his own quickly. It was like the spell suddenly broke and Rook really had to consider whether he could even sleep with the cultist in the same room. Even as he fought with himself, he stripped down and threw on his pyjamas. When he stepped back into Joseph’s room, the preacher was on his knees by his bed with his eyes closed and hands clasped together. Rook decided not to interrupt and moved quietly to sit on his new and temporary bed. He chose the bottom bunk out of habit, it was what he always did at the bases he stayed in overseas and back home in the reserves.

He couldn’t help listening to Joseph’s prayer. He could tell he’d missed a part of it but the man’s hushed words still reached him.

“-Grant me the patience and will to withstand this change, let it not lead me astray from my path. I ask that you protect all those who remain of my flock from harm, protect the Deputy from this new world and give him reason and purpose. Let that light in him shine bright-”

Rook suddenly felt a warmth in his chest. No one had ever prayed for him and the last person he’d expected to was asking God to keep Rook safe and happy. He waited patiently until Joseph finished up and gave the man a kind smile. Joseph was more than surprised to see him there, let alone showing him a facial expression that wasn’t angry or sarcastic. Maybe he had thought Rook wasn’t coming back.

“I heard your prayer,” Rook said with a shrug. “No one’s ever done that for me.”

“I’ve always prayed for you,” Joseph stated as though Rook was being silly and should know that. “Ever since the day you came to me, I prayed for your safety, your wellbeing. You’ve been on my mind constantly since then.”

“Did you see me in your visions?” Rook leaned forward, suddenly interested and not at all repulsed by Joseph’s honesty. Maybe he might have found it creepy before the bunker but now it just made him curious. He was _wanted_.

“Not quite. I knew someone was coming but it wasn’t until I saw your face that I knew it was you for certain.”

“And now here we are.”

“And now here we are,” Joseph concluded with a small smile. “We should both turn in. It’s been a long day and I believe you have plans with that radio tomorrow.”

Rook nodded eagerly, pleased that Joseph had remembered and cared. He pulled himself under the covers, facing the preacher as he too got himself ready. Joseph reached for the bedside lamp and switched it off, sending the room in a comfortable darkness that made Rook very ready to sleep.

“Goodnight, Joseph.”

“Goodnight, Deputy. Thank you for your kindness today.”

“Any time.” 

And Rook meant it. Maybe the two of them could work through this isolation and come out the other side better. At least, Rook wanted to believe that because that night he’d felt wanted and loved by someone he used to hate. He wouldn’t call them friends, no way, but there was a companionable link between them for certain. His worries about sharing the room with Joseph dissipated and he fell asleep within moments. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things seem to be looking up for our ragged pair.
> 
> Let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	4. Our closest enemies

Rook sat all day with the radio. He spent five minutes on each channel before moving on to the next, each time repeating the same hopeful question.

_Is anybody out there?_

It felt like calling out to the stars and hoping some lifeform would reply. He’d done that as a kid with his toy radio in his treehouse, when the moon shone clearly and tried to remind him he should’ve been in bed ready for school the next day.

Joseph came in once or twice to check up on his progress. He stood patiently, watching the screens Rook had switched on for just a moment. It wasted energy, yes, but it was for Rook’s mental wellbeing that he could see there was still something beyond this bunker. He switched them off after he’d gotten his fill. It was his equivalent of a window. Joseph understood, let it happen with just a gentle warning of power usage, and insisted Rook sat with him for lunch. The Deputy did, asking one last question before getting up and following the cultist to the neighbouring room. They ate quietly but it wasn’t a tense silence.

Rook never believed those people who said silence was enjoyable, that two men could enjoy each other’s company without a word. He always found it awkward, unsure of what to talk about and internally begging his companion to say anything. But with Joseph, there was no need to talk. Rook could enjoy his meal, as best he could, without darting his eyes around for an excuse to leave. It was nice.

Their rations were working well and although Rook wanted nothing more than to eat at least three more cans until he felt full, he obeyed Joseph’s strict system. He checked the storeroom after his lunch and the sight of emptying shelves made his chest constrict. There was enough left but Joseph’s calculations were proving to be off. No way could they keep it up for a whole year.

Soon, someone would have to go outside.

Rook returned to his radio and resumed his question over the channels.

When Joseph back, Rook knew it was late and the man probably wanted to get a start on dinner. Except Joseph pulled up a chair and sat beside him. The chill of the bunker had gotten to him and he’d thrown a hoodie on. Rook snorted.

“Something amusing, Deputy?” 

“You look even more like a hipster now, no offence.” 

Joseph sighed. “Would you rather I walk around shirtless?” 

Rook swallowed and turned back to his radio. “I’m good, thanks.” 

He heard the cultist make himself comfortable on the frayed spinning chair, rocking himself from side to side. His hands came up and he pulled on the hair tie with a hiss. Rook looked back. Joseph massaged his scalp with a groan, trying to flatten the waves that came from tying his hair up way too often.

“Yeah, now you’ve moved on to hippy,” Rook joked. 

“Uh huh.” Joseph ignored him, detangling the long strands with his fingers and occasionally winced when he caught a knot. Rook went back to his radio but it was only temporary. Joseph was incredibly distracting with all the pained noises he was making. 

“Ugh, right. Stay here, I’ll be right back.” Rook jumped out of his chair, confusing Joseph, as he jogged to the bathroom. The cultist watched him go and his eyes widened when Rook came back and threw a hairbrush in his lap.

Neither had a clue why Dutch had needed one but Rook had spotted it a while back behind some bottles under the sink.

“Thanks,” Joseph mumbled, turning the brush in his hands like he wasn’t sure what to do with it. Rook went back to his work, only mildly irritated by the sound of the brush catching on tangled hair. Joseph made it seem quite painful and Rook realised that he was literally yanking on his hair. Of course, that had to hurt.

“Do you not know how to brush your hair?” Rook asked after he’d endured another minute of Joseph’s self-inflicted torture. The cultist frowned at his accusation but made no move to correct him.

“It’s just in a bad state.”

“Probably ‘cause you keep ripping it out. Start from the bottom, work your way up.” 

Joseph stared at him instead of following his instructions. Rook stared back. Eventually Joseph sighed and tried his way. The result was a lot less painful but the cultist wasn’t about to admit it. When he’d sorted half of it, one side in smooth waves and the other looking like it had been attacked by a raccoon, he paused.

“How do you know that?”

“Had to babysit my neighbour’s daughters a lot. They were cute kids but trying to sit them down and brush their hair after they’d played in the backyard was a nightmare.”

Joseph nodded and carried on, soon looking like a decent, normal human being instead of one of his Peggies. Rook watched him stand up to leave only to come back a minute later without the brush.

“Looks nice,” Rook offhandedly commented as Joseph sat down again. The preacher smiled faintly. “You should have it down more often, give your scalp a break.”

“I know, I just don’t like it down. But it’s too cold here.” 

“Well I like it.”

Rook went back to his work again and they sat together comfortably. At some point, Joseph switched on the monitors to watch the grey world but he turned off once it got too painful to see. Rook let him without a word. They both had their own coping mechanisms. 

When Joseph got bored, he started cooking. He left Rook alone, squeezing his shoulder once as he got up to leave. It felt nice to be touched and Rook stamped down on those feelings before he could beg Joseph to stay and keep a hand on him. 

As Rook entered the room, Joseph had set up their stuff on the coffee table and sat down against the far corner near the tank. They ate on the couch for once. 

“Changing things up?”

“I thought I’d indulge you as a thank you for your wisdom.” He threaded a hand through his hair to clarify and Rook laughed, sitting next to him.

“I’m full of wisdom.”

Rook knew he was completely right in saying the couch was comfier. The leather was old, creaked with every movement, but it was plush and Rook threw a blanket over their laps. Joseph appreciated the extra warmth. As they finished up, Rook had no desire to get up. He leaned back against the pillows and brought his legs up, folding them neatly to the side. Joseph copied him. 

“It could be worse,” Rook started. “It’s not so bad, just you and me. I thought I’d hate every moment but I don’t.”

Joseph hummed, closing his eyes as he sank back further. “I don’t hate it either.” 

He extended an arm over the couch and Rook knew exactly what he wanted, and Rook gave it to him. The Deputy shuffled closer until he hit Joseph’s side and tucked himself close, resting his head against the preacher’s shoulder as the arm came down and wrapped around him. The blanket was brought further up and Rook hadn’t felt this comfortable in a long, long time. He sighed happily and glanced up at Joseph, only to notice the man had closed his eyes to enjoy the moment. So, Rook bit off the next words and snuggled closer.

“Deputy?” Joseph’s voice carried him back into awareness. Rook hummed curiously. “There’s something I want to tell you. When we came here, I wasn’t sure I could stand to be with you. After all you’d done to me and my family, I was so angry. I know you did what you thought was right and with that in mind, _I forgive you_.”

Rook brought his head up, watching Joseph very carefully. He couldn’t tell if this was the truth. How could anyone forgive him? He’d destroyed everything Joseph had worked towards and killed his only family, the few people who mattered most to the preacher. 

“Why?” Rook croaked.

“Because I don’t agree with holding grudges. The past is the past, and frankly, hating you for your sins is too tiring and it would achieve nothing.”

Rook’s eyes began stinging with tears and fell back against Joseph. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for taking them from you. It wasn’t worth it. I know that now. If I could go back, I’d-”

Rook wasn’t sure he’d change the outcome. Would he have been able to stop himself from shooting Jacob, letting Faith drown, or watching John struggle to breathe through his shattered ribcage before finally ending them all? He’d done it for a reason, to stop the cult from spreading. But now he knew the endgame and the world was worst off without those bunkers.

“I know you are.” Joseph held his face and pressed their foreheads together, hushing Rook’s cries. “I forgive you, Deputy. I forgive you for your past.”

Rook lost track of time but he knew Joseph held him through the night. They stayed on the couch, a mess of tangled limbs, as Rook lay down with Joseph. He grabbed at his sleeves, his back, anything to keep the older man as closely as he could. It didn’t matter if Joseph thought him weak in that moment, if he thought Rook had finally lost his mind. Joseph didn’t, of course, but Rook had his doubts. So, he buried his wet face in the soft, fuzzy fabric of Joseph’s chest and stayed there until sleep overtook him.

That is, until a voice crackled through the radio.

Rook vaguely heard it, too comfortably stretched over Joseph’s sleeping form to really register it. He’d moved from his side to lie on his stomach but with a whole human body in the way, he’d made due and crawled over Joseph. 

The voice rang out again, desperately reaching for Rook’s attention and when it clicked in his head, he was climbing off Joseph and sprinting to the next room so quickly he got dizzy. He had probably smacked or kneed Joseph somewhere sensitive in his rush because he heard the cultist wake up with a groan.

He jumped into the chair and grabbed the speaker.

“Hello? Hello, is anyone out there?” Rook felt sorry for the stranger. He kinda yelled into it in his excitement. Joseph joined him a moment later, equally startled and discreetly rubbing the inside of his thigh.

“Yes! I’m here and alive! It’s Sharky Boshaw. Who’s this?” 

Rook had never been so happy in his life to hear the pyromaniac’s voice. “Sharky, holy shit! It’s Rook! Where the hell are you? Are you okay?”

He heard Sharky yelling happily and a lot of swears. Rook laughed and looked back at Joseph, though his expression was unreadable. 

“I’m just fucking dandy, managed to hide in some bunker near Joseph’s old compound. It ain’t much but I’ve been picking up supplies here and there. Where you at, Rook? Tell me you’re close.”

“Dutch’s bunker. Half an hour away if you’re walking. Have you been up to the surface? How?”

“Got suits, masks. It ain’t pretty up top but I heard your message on some portable radio. You doing okay? Is anyone with you?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Joseph’s with me. We’re both fine.” There was pause before Sharky answered again. 

“You sure you’re okay?” He sounded worried and he had every right to be. He hadn’t spent a month and half with Joseph, he couldn’t know what had happened between the leader and Rook since then.

“I promise. Could you make your way here? Is it safe enough?”

“I think so. Ain’t no monsters or zombies out here, just fucking quiet. All the animals are dead. You’re the first survivors I’ve come across so far.”

A silence fell between them over the radio. Joseph and Rook let it sink in. Close to two months and Sharky had only found them despite his exploring. 

“Rook, you still there?”

“Yeah, I am. Come find us. We have food and water but not much else.”

“Does your shower work?”

“Uh, yes.”

“Then that’s good enough for me. I’ll see you soon, Rook. Hang in there.”

Sharky’s line clicked off and Rook slumped back into the chair, a grin permanently etched onto his face. Joseph sat down beside him and rested a hand on his shoulder. Rook looked at him, his happiness infectious, and Joseph smiled back.

“Well done,” he praised gently. Before he knew it, Rook had leapt up and wrapped his arms around Joseph in a crushing hug. 

“Thank you,” Rook mumbled into his neck. “If you hadn’t restored the power, we never would have known people were still alive.”

Joseph hugged him back in a less suffocating manner. Rook pulled away, laughing with reddened cheeks as he was a little embarrassed to have grabbed the preacher like that. He cleared his throat and reached out to smooth the hoodie, only to make things more awkward. 

“We should turn the monitors on to see your friend coming.”

The image remained grey but Rook stared until he saw two figures approaching. He glanced at Joseph.

“Did he say something about a second person?” Rook asked, suddenly unsure. The two people were dressed in black hazmat suits with heavy masks. The image quality was too poor to pick out any details.

“No, he didn’t.”

Rook grabbed the radio. “Hey, Sharky. You still there?”

“Hey man, I just got on the island-”

“Stay still, don’t move. Look to your right.” The figure on the monitor glanced around and looked in the right direction. 

“Wait, that camera still works? Holy shit. Yo, you can see me!” Sharky jumped up, waving at the camera. He tapped his companion’s arm and pointed up again.

“Who’s that with you?” Rook asked, still watching the screens. 

“Oh, just a friend I made. Look, I’ll explain everything later. Can we come in?”

Joseph nodded but covered the speaker with his hand. “They’ll need to shower the suits first before you can see them.” 

“Okay.” Joseph moved his hand away, letting Rook continue. “Sharky, when you get in, there’s a couple showers just at the bottom of the stairs. Clean up the suits before you come in. We can’t risk the radiation getting in here.”

“No problemo.” 

Sharky and his friend started walking towards the bunker again and just as they reached the door, Joseph got up. Rook followed him like a puppy.As he reached the second lead doorframe, he pressed a button on the side and the door slid from the wall into the frame, sealing them off completely. A small rectangular window allowed Rook to see Sharky and his friend coming down the steps. Sharky paused to pull the hatch closed and when he noticed Rook, he waved insanely. 

“Hey man!” 

Rook grinned back. Sharky turned the showers on, scrubbing the water over the plastic covering his entire body. five minutes later, they were both done and Sharky took off his mask and pulled the suit off. He was still wearing his green hoodie and the brightest grin Rook had ever seen. His companion copied him, shaking his hair free from the straps of the mask. Rook was frozen on the spot, instantly recognising who Sharky had brought along.

“John?” Joseph whispered, watching his very much alive brother sort himself out. When both men were ready, Joseph couldn’t be faster to open the seal doors. The youngest brother only had eyes for Joseph. He threw himself at him, wrapping his arms around his neck.

“Joseph! You’re okay, oh my God, you’re okay.” 

“John, you... I thought you were dead. The Deputy- He-” Joseph stopped ranting and just held his brother tightly.

Sharky watched them for a moment before he shook his head and grabbed Rook, embracing him and rubbing his hands down Rook’s back and ruffling his hair. 

“Oh man, am I glad to see you, Rookie. I thought I’d never see you again.The bombs fell and then-then- I'm just so glad to see you, buddy.” Sharky was still grinning and Rook melted into his arms. While the pyromaniac tried to grab and hold whatever he could reach, Rook just held onto his hoodie like he’d done with Joseph and refused to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how is everyone enjoying this fic? I've currently written over 73k so there's plenty more to be published. It's a hell of a story and certainly not how I originally planned it. 
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr :  
>  https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topwizzynum


	5. Finish what you start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter includes mentions of torture and violence.

Sharky knew something major had gone down in Holland Valley. He saw the planes battling in the evening sky, had heard nothing from Rook for several hours, and then one plane had crashed. He didn’t let himself panic yet. His truck idled in the dark, watching as the second plane landed and his friend stepped out. From his point of view, he couldn’t quite see what Rook was doing but John Seed was finally getting what was coming to him. He waited until Rook had left. He couldn’t bring himself to interrupt when it was Rook’s right to get revenge. Sharky had seen the messy tattoo, he knew John had given him his own brand of torture. 

When the coast was clear, he went out into the field. John’s body was lying there in the dirt and Sharky thought that it wasn’t good enough. Rook could have done so much more than let the fucker bleed out. 

He knelt beside him, smirked at his ruined fancy clothes and the trails of blood across his nose, lips and temple. In fact, he felt like taking a souvenir. The key was in Rook’s possession now; the Deputy already headed to John’s bunker now if Sharky knew him well enough. He was just about to grab John’s hand, reaching for the knife at his side, when John wheezed.

He choked, gurgled on his own blood, and Sharky could see the appeal in watching him slowly die but he was never a patient man. He grabbed the lapel of his coat and yanked him into a sitting position, ignoring John’s weak cries. The man was lighter than Sharky had imagined so it was easy to carry him back to his truck, throw him in the passenger seat and drive back to the trailer park to figure out his next move.

He tossed John like a ragdoll onto his couch and the man cried out, wheezing sharply. He had to have a couple broken ribs or worse. Sharky didn’t care. He thought of ways to exact his revenge. Clearly Rook hadn’t realised John had clung to life like a parasite or he would have finished the job. 

He wondered how quickly John would burn but with the number of people Sharky had toasted over the years, it was boring and predictable. Turning him over to Fall’s End could prove interesting, the locals certainly had plans for John, but Sharky wasn’t too eager to hand over his catch so easily. He wouldn’t be paid much for it either. 

In the end, he radioed Dr. Lindsey and convinced him to make a house call. It took more than an hour for the man to come and he was all shaken up from the drive. He got worse when he saw John.

“Just keep him alive. Don’t care how,” Sharky said, handing over a wad of cash he’d been saving up.

Lindsey did his best considering he had to knock John out and stop whatever was bleeding inside, all on top of Sharky’s kitchen table. When he was done, John wasn’t wheezing anymore but his heartbeat was faint. Lindsey left and kept quiet, the money weighing nicely in his coat pocket as he drove back to the jail.

John woke after a couple of days. Sharky never knew he could be so patient but John was zip-tied to the radiator and there were enough angels and Peggies straying too close to his home to keep him distracted. John was scared at first, understandable considering his position, but when he realised that Rook wasn’t neither around nor in charge he wasn’t afraid of Sharky. That is, until Sharky demonstrated one of his usual afternoon hobbies of combining disco music and a flamethrower. 

John said many things. He was confident in his own voice, told Sharky that the Seed Family would find him and make him pay. And then he countered that the Deputy would never agree to this, until he started using his anger to spit vile curses at Sharky. Eventually, he offered Sharky more money than he could ever ask for. Sharky listened to his begging with a smile, each time nodding and agreeing only to walk away and leave John sputtering and yelling alone. 

The day came when he was finally struck with the idea. He saw Rook again, only for a brief hour at the bar in which the Deputy told him all about his fight with John. The locals were celebrating, pouring round after round until there was enough beer flowing to flood Fall’s End. But Sharky couldn’t join in. It felt wrong to celebrate a victory that hadn’t really been won. He couldn’t say anything to Rook, not when his friend was laughing and smiling for the first time in weeks. 

Sharky excused himself from the table and sat in his truck. When he turned the engine on, he grabbed his radio and called in a few guys he trusted. Told them to meet him first thing in the morning at the trailer park.

On the drive home, he switched the car stereo to the cult channel. _Oh John_ started playing and Sharky laughed bitterly before switching to the country rock. He pulled up by his trailer and got out slowly, looking at his door. He hadn’t left the property for more than an hour before but as he unlocked the door and stepped in, he realised nothing had changed and John was still tied to the radiator.

He must have been sleeping because he looked around wildly when Sharky slammed the door shut and threw his keys in a nearby bowl. 

“I’m gonna cut you loose, let you use my shower. Get yourself presentable. Try anything and I’ll break your ribs again.” 

Surprisingly, John behaved. He let himself be shoved in the direction of the tiny bathroom and said nothing. Sharky waited outside, a rifle set on his lap, until his patience ran dry. He opened the door, batting away the steam with his hand.

John stood hunched over the sink, his back marred with dark bruises and cuts. They covered his scars and tattoos and Sharky winced.

“What’s happening tomorrow?” John asked, and Sharky didn’t feel like lying to him.

“You’re gonna be shot in the head and buried where the cult won’t ever find you.”

John tensed and a tremor shook him bodily. He was scared and Sharky knew he was the whole cause.

“But my brother... Joseph deserves to know what happened to me. I can’t just disappear-”

“He already knows you’re dead. The whole county’s drinking to it for days now. Joseph’s already filmed himself, talked about you and how much he missed you.”

John let out a broken sob and Sharky realised too late he’d gone way too far. John had to die, there was no way around that, but perhaps he could leave his body where the Peggies would find him. They’d found Faith and buried her after all.

“Look, I already gave you half an hour in here. Hurry the fuck up.” 

Sharky left and shut the door, waiting outside again. He felt sick all of a sudden. Was he really going to do this? The fact that Rook had left him breathing made him reconsider his options. Was he prepared to go down this route? He knew if he never gave Joseph closure, he’d regret it. If it was the other way around, Hell, Joseph probably wouldn’t be that heartless. It wasn’t as if he had to deliver John’s body to Joseph’s doorstep and say ‘ _here’s your dead brother, have a good day_ ’.

John opened the door. He looked so tired and thin. Sharky hadn’t fed him, only given him water. 

“Go sit in the kitchen. I’ll cook you something.” 

John’s eyes lit up hopefully and Sharky made a clear decision to ignore him as he pushed John down into a chair. Final meal and all that. It wasn’t like he was going to feed the man breakfast before his execution. God, Sharky felt fucking sick.

He busied himself over the stove and tried not to burn the deer he caught and prepared the week before. It wasn’t much but he put far more effort into it than he would for himself. When he set the plate down before John, the man didn’t touch his food.

“It ain’t poisoned,” Sharky pointed out with a sigh. He grabbed a couple beers from his ancient fridge and put one next to John’s hand. “It’s the last thing you’ll ever have in your stomach. Enjoy.”

John ate eventually and although his face twisted at the taste and chewiness, he made no complaints. He sat patiently until Sharky finished, and was dragged back to the radiator. Only Sharky paused and changed his mind, dragging him further towards the bedroom. When John saw the bed, only one thing went through his mind and he panicked. 

Sharky took the Seed by his collar and pushed him inside, barring the door. 

“Please don’t,” John begged as he retreated into the wall and away from the bed. Sharky suddenly understood what had riled up the Baptist and that sickness came hurtling back. He suddenly felt so cold and disgusting.

“No, no- I, I’m not gonna... Just get some sleep, John. Make good with your God or something. Don’t bother with the window, those bars can stop a dozen Angels. I know that ‘cause they’ve tried. I’ll wake you up early. Just... Goodnight.” 

He shut and locked the door before he could break down. John had really thought he would- Oh fuck, Sharky didn’t want to know why he’d even imagined that. He walked away from the door before he could do anything stupid like unlock it.

He wasn’t cut out to do this. How anyone managed to keep hostages was beyond him. He took deep breaths. Tomorrow, this mess would end and he could forget about John Seed.

Sharky was awake before the truck pulled up. He opened the door for his friends to come in and gave them the briefing. They knew he had someone held here but when he mentioned it was John, one man left and never came back. Maybe he felt betrayed by Rook.

They waited outside for Sharky as he unlocked his room. He was prepared for John to attack him and he blocked the fist easily. The butt of his shotgun knocked John unconscious and he carried him out into the truck with no problem. His friends kept a close eye on John, especially when he woke up before they had arrived.

They dragged him out onto the banks of the Henbane. At least he had a nice view. The fog rolled over the water as the sun started to shine between the mountain peaks. 

Sharky’s friends stood behind him in an arc, watching, smirking and waiting. He was passed a pistol and it weighed more than Sharky expected. Silver and old-fashioned, it was a beauty of a weapon. It belonged to John, he’d seen it at the ranch when Rook called him over to gloat and enjoy the fine things John had lavished his home with. He didn’t know how his friends had gotten their hands on it.

He looked down John, kneeling in the damp grass with his head bowed. They were all waiting for Sharky to pull the trigger.

“Any last words, John?” He asked, stepping closer to press the barrel against the back of his head and John flinched. That sickness was rising again.

“God will not forgive you for this, Boshaw. Joseph will come for you. He will hunt you down himself. And once you’re rotting on the side of some road, he’ll come for your resistance. You won’t stand a chance against the Father, against my _brother_.”

Sharky steadied his grip and his finger edged towards the trigger. Everyone was waiting for him to pull it. 

An explosion rocked the earth. Sharky ignored it, they were far from the main road. His friends yelled and as he turned towards them in confusion, he saw a great cloud rising into the air. He knew the shape from his history lessons. A nuclear bomb had gone off. The world really was ending. 

The truck engine roared and his friends left him with John. The youngest Seed had turned to watch and Sharky saw true, honest fear in his eyes. He grabbed at his coat to pull him to his feet.

“There’s a bunker in that house. Come on, we can make it. _John_ , let’s go. We have to move!” 

John was as rooted into the ground as the trees around him and it seemed like Sharky’s words had no effect on him. Sharky took his arm and pulled him towards the house. It was small, built out of logs, but there was a hatch in the back garden. He ran so fast and John kept up with him. 

He grabbed the handle and almost threw John down the stairs in his hurry. A blistering wave of heat crashed over his arm as he shut the hatch in time. John was sat on the concrete ground, completely lost in his thoughts. Sharky moved away from the stairs, flicked on the lights, and sat on one of the bunk beds. 

It hit him too late that he was now trapped in the bunker with the man whose brains he had been seconds away from spraying into the Henbane. He watched John carefully but he was in shock. There was nothing Sharky could do for him.

He sat there knowing full well that they would be stuck together for the foreseeable future. Was this his punishment from God? Or had Joseph been right all along? Rook had headed to confront Joseph but now there was no way to know if Rook had survived.

He shook his head and sighed into his palms. When he opened his eyes again, John was staring at him with a terrifying awareness and a sickening grin. 

“We warned you the Collapse was coming,” he said sweetly with too many teeth in his smile. He stood and leaned over Sharky, bracing one arm on the bunk above the pyromaniac to crowd him. “I told you God would not forgive you.”

John stepped back and wandered to explore the small bunker. Sharky frowned and rubbed at his eyes, very much aware now that he’d made the wrong choice. He should’ve finished what Rook had started. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... who wants a tissue? You've no idea how hard it was to write this but now you have the backstory!


	6. Check for a pulse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tis time for another chapter ma dudes.  
> Has everyone recovered after the last one? Ok, great. If you didn't hate me yet, you're in for quite a ride. 
> 
> I'm at 92k already and there's no end in sight. Don't worry, it isn't just moping and staring at each other for eternity. This story is evolving daily into sheer insanity. Fear not, your patience will be rewarded with smut in later chapters. Much... later chapters. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy and keep letting me know your thoughts!!

“I think we should all sit down and talk,” the cultist suddenly interrupted. He had an arm around John’s shoulders and used it to guide his brother further inside the bunker. Sharky agreed, following Rook and holding his hand until they reached the living room. 

Joseph turned the lights on and waited until the guests had seated themselves on the couch. He grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and sat with Rook, letting him claim the plush armchair. 

“You’ll give me a tour, right, Rook?” Sharky asked, glancing around and whistling. 

“You bet.” 

“How did you survive?” Joseph asked. Rook spared a glance at him and although his tone was light, it felt more like an interrogation than a reunion. 

“There was bunker close by the Henbane, we were practically on top of it when we heard the explosion,” Sharky explained. “I figured some dumbass had blown something up but then the cloud came up and we ran inside. You know... I just can’t believe it ended like that. I mean, I know it’s what y’all were always talking about but still- It's hard to fucking swallow.” 

“You were with John?” 

Sharky suddenly seemed very uncomfortable. He ducked his head and rubbed his hands together, avoiding Joseph’s cold stare. John said nothing, he stayed uncharacteristically quiet and Rook chalked it up to being overwhelmed. 

“Uh, yeah.” 

“Why was my brother with you?” 

John raised a hand and planted it on Sharky’s knee, successfully getting the man’s attention. He nodded and inclined his head towards Joseph. The latter was confused but it didn’t show through his continuously chilling stare. Rook looked between them. 

“Go on, tell him,” John insisted. 

“Okay, fine, I will. The reason I was with John is- well, when Rook thought he’d killed him, John was still kicking and some Peggies found him. Me and some guys followed them and we ambushed them. We, uh, we were gonna kill John ourselves.” 

Rook glanced at Joseph, almost expected him to throw a fist in Sharky’s face and kick him out the bunker, but he was eerily calm. That same calmness that Rook still had nightmares about. But John was also calm, he wasn’t angry at all. As if Sharky’s recollection had no effect on him. 

“I wanted to finish what Rook had started, make you proud and all that.” He looked up to Rook, but the Deputy only felt ill in that moment. Maybe Sharky noticed because he dropped his head again. “But then we heard the bomb and like I said, I thought it was just like a regular day. The guys with me, they saw it first and they ran towards the truck. Left me and John behind. I don’t know what I was thinking but I grabbed John and I pulled him up and got us inside that little bunker.” 

“You saved his life,” Joseph stated, a grateful smile on his relaxed face. 

The interrogation was over and Sharky had given him a reason to let him stay. Rook inwardly sighed in relief but he watched John closely. He didn’t want to be left alone with the young cultist. 

“We don’t have a lot of supplies here but you’re more than welcome to stay with us. I think we could all use the company.” 

“Thanks,” Sharky said nervously. Rook could tell something was up but he waited until Joseph stood up to start cooking for their guests. John thankfully clung to his brother’s side. 

“I’ll give you that tour.” Rook grabbed Sharky’s wrist and dragged him out of the room. “Here’s the surveillance room, that’s how I reached you. Down here we’ve got two bedrooms, a workshop and a little clinic. Storage and bathroom are through the kitchen, and that’s it. Not much but it’s a home.” 

Rook led him to his room, closing the door behind him. Sharky barely had time to turn before Rook was hugging him so tightly he heard his bones creak. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I didn’t know where you were and there wasn’t any time to look,” Rook babbled until Sharky hushed him with a hand across his mouth. Rook laughed, tears glinting in the corners of his eyes. 

“I know, man. I know, but we’re good now. I just... How the fuck did you end up with Joseph?” 

“I was going to kill him and that’s when the bomb went off. Pratt, Hudson, and Whitehorse, they didn’t make it. I crashed the car and Joseph pulled me out. He saved me. Like you and John, right?” Rook gave him a pointed look and Sharky ducked his head, pulling away. 

“Look, I didn’t- It wasn’t really like how I told it. Rook, Rook, I did something bad. Like _really_ bad. I watched you with John and I took him home. He was my prisoner for a few days before we planned to kill him. I... I think I tortured him.” 

Rook stepped back, his eyes wide. He held his hands up when Sharky tried to approach. “Why would you do that? That’s just as bad as what they did! Sharky, why? I didn’t think you could even do that.” 

“You’re right, I couldn’t. But I didn’t know what to do! You were so happy to have freed the Valley, I couldn’t bring myself to tell you he lived. I thought you’d be proud but it felt so fucking wrong! I couldn’t even pull the trigger!” 

Sharky sobbed, stumbling back against the bed. He hunched over and wrapped his arms over his head, curling up. Rook sat next to him, rubbing his shoulders. 

“I thought I did something right by taking him into the bunker with me but he hates me, I know he does.” 

“Has he done anything to you?” 

“No, that’s just it. He hasn’t even yelled at me. I don’t know what he wants but I think he’s waiting for something. I brought him with me because I knew I’d be safer with you. You know him, you can understand people way better than I can. Please, I’ll do anything.” 

“What do you want me to do?” 

Sharky shrugged. “I don’t know, man. Just find out what he wants, I can’t keep doing this. It’s the fucking waiting. It scares me, man.” 

A knock on the door interrupted them and Rook got up to answer as Sharky sniffed and wiped his sleeve across his face. Joseph greeted him, peeking over Rook’s shoulder. 

“I’ve prepared some food for our guests.” 

“We’ll be there in a minute,” Rook said. 

Joseph looked at Sharky. “I can’t begin to thank you for what you did for John.” 

Sharky nodded and faked a smile. Joseph left and Rook shut the door. 

“Okay, look, I’ll do what I can but John isn’t my friend either. Joseph is different, he’s calm and he’s not bad company. You’ll be safe around him too. Just keep the truth to yourself. You know how much Joseph cares about his family.” 

“How did you manage it? With Joseph, I mean.” 

“We take care of each other,” Rook answered simply. It was a vague truth but enough to satisfy Sharky. 

\---

Rook was used to sitting alone with Joseph in silence, but this time the older man was more than happy to chat. Mostly with John. Kind of exclusively with John. He wouldn’t stop touching him either. Their elbows bumped and more than once, Joseph kissed his forehead and held him close. John soaked up the attention like a sponge and the quietness from before faded until he was laughing and talking loudly. 

Sharky was his exact opposite. If he could have sunk into the ground, he would have. Rook tried his best to keep a conversation but every time the brothers laughed or said something too loud, he flinched. Rook wondered what the hell had happened between them to make Sharky so afraid. It couldn’t have just been the tension. 

Neither guest complained about the food and when all was finished, Sharky insisted on going to bed early. Rook realised it was just after lunch. 

Sharky was up and out into the corridor so quickly Rook had to jog after him. He stopped when he saw Sharky looking at the two bedrooms with a frown. 

“Hey, you can sleep in my bed if you want. If you need the space and all that,” Rook started, cupping his friend’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, I’d like that but it means you’ll be stuck with them.” 

“I’ve faced worse. You sure you don’t want to shower? I mean, I don’t wanna be rude but you kinda need one.” 

Sharky snorted and nodded. “I know. Where was it again?” 

“Through the kitchen.” 

“ _Great_ , I have to go back in there. You got any other clothes?” 

Rook grabbed him some spare things from Dutch’s closest, tossing the bundle in Sharky’s arms as he led him back towards the bathroom. He warned his friend not to stay too long and sat back down with the brothers. 

Joseph noticed the way both men stared each other down. He cleared his throat and found something to keep himself occupied in the next room, probably something to clean or tidy away. 

“So,” Rook started, leaning forward on his elbows. “You lived.” 

“I’m not easy to kill. Next time, check for a pulse.” 

“Oh, I will.” Rook tried to keep up his glare but found it lacking. “Repeat this to anyone and I’ll kill you properly, but I’m happy you’re alive.” 

John blinked, his mouth opening and closing comically as he struggled with a response. He leaned back in his chair with a frown, arms crossed. “Why?” 

“Because it makes him happy.” Rook gestured behind him to the wall that separated them from Joseph. “He prays a lot and you’re often mentioned. He wanted to make sure you got to Eden’s Gate after all.” 

John turned his head away, a familiar gesture of his older brother. “He did?” 

“Yeah, for all of you. He loves you, John. That’s why I’m glad you’re here, despite all the shit you pulled.” 

“You care for my brother, don’t you, Deputy?” 

Rook nodded without hesitation. John was right, he did and it had happened without Rook even noticing. The last night flashed in his mind and that feeling only intensified the facts. 

“I do. I feel safe with him and we keep each other alive.” 

John smiled faintly. “He’s good at that; making you feel valued and important. It’s why we had so many followers. He drew them in so easily, all he had to do was extend a hand and people flocked to him. It makes sense why you feel that way.” 

“Are you actually being nice to me?” 

John laughed and shrugged. “I guess. It’s just us four down here and as far as we know, that’s all that remains.” 

The bathroom door clicked open and Sharky stepped out, trails of steam escaping around him. “All yours,” he said as he passed without more than a nervous glance. “I’m gonna get some sleep.” He walked out quickly and Rook watched him go with a frown. 

“He’s different,” he noted. John hummed in agreement. 

“Unlike you and Joseph, we don’t have much of a bond. He’s more of a frightened rabbit than before.” 

“What did you do to him?” Rook turned back to glare at John, who held up his hands defensively. 

“Nothing. Clearly my reputation has set his nerves on edge.” 

“Do me a favour, John. Stay away from him.” Rook stood, scooting his chair under the table. “If you want to torture somebody, do it to me.” 

“Is that an invitation?” John’s grin was too sharp, his eyes cold. It rang warning bells in Rook’s head. “Because I still have my knife and you still haven’t atoned, _Wrath_.” John got up and stalked around the table until he was stood before Rook, tilting his head and forcing Rook to walk back into the wall. “I would be honoured to carve every little sin into your pretty body. I’m sure you have many and it would take a long, _long_ time-” 

“You lay a hand on him and you can walk the wasteland alone,” Joseph coolly interrupted, stepping into the room and forcing himself between his brother and Rook. He extended a hand against John’s chest and pushed him back. “Perhaps you don’t grasp the severity of our situation but we are alone. If you decide to harm the Deputy, you will answer to all of us. We need to work together, there is no other choice.” 

“Joseph...” Rook watched the scene but his mind couldn’t keep up. Joseph was defending him against his own brother. 

“And his sins?” 

“I forgave him, John. For all the suffering he caused. He’s been pardoned. You will not harm him.” 

John glared before he could stop himself. “He killed Jacob! He tried to kill us both!” He was losing his composure very quickly but his words struck Rook. He still hadn’t quite accepted the pardon yet and Joseph’s kindness was still a healing wound. 

“And what did we do to him? Your mark will forever be on his chest, his suffering scarred into his memories. I understand your anger, I truly do, but we all have to move forward. It’s the only way any of us can survive.” 

John broke and slumped forward against his brother’s chest and Joseph took him into his arms, shielding him from Rook’s view. He heard every cry and he wanted to beg John for forgiveness, but he knew that it would not change anything. Joseph was right. They had all suffered. 

“Rook, would you give us a moment, please?” 

“Y-yeah, of course.” Rook couldn’t hold it in any longer. The second he was in the quiet, darkened hallway, he held himself and tried to cry silently. He looked up to the ceiling and blinked, begging the tears to go away. He ended up in his room. Rook had forgotten Sharky was there to begin with but the man was wide awake. He saw the state Rook was in and got up, helping his friend down onto the bed. 

“What happened?” 

“I destroy everything I touch,” Rook mumbled. He wanted to scream himself hoarse but mostly, he just wanted to forget everything he had done. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I ripped their family apart. John was right, I don’t deserve their forgiveness. I thought I was doing the right thing but this whole time, I ruined everyone’s chance at survival. I should have just listened to them. Joseph, John, Jacob, and Faith. They all warned me, told me to stop.” 

“Jesus Christ, Rook! They were killing people, running them out of their homes. We had to stop them!” 

“You think I don’t know that?!” 

Sharky sighed and knelt on the floor, looking up at Rook. When the Deputy avoided his eyes, he took his face into his hands. 

“Calm down, okay? Don’t get mad at me. Look, you and me, we both went too far. But this whole shitshow isn’t all black and white. You’re not all good and you’re not all bad, either. What was that about forgiveness?” 

Rook took deep, shaky breaths. His lip trembled and he hid his face behind his hands. His fingers ran through his hair, yanking the stands. 

“Yesterday, Joseph said he forgave me for what I had done. I still haven’t quite grasped it.” 

“Jesus... Really?” 

“Yes!” 

“Okay, okay, I believe you. I’m just shocked, alright. That’s really big of him.” 

Rook nodded. It fucking was. “But then John got angry when Joseph defended me, he reminded me of his dead brother and sister and I just froze.” 

“Back up a second, what the fuck do you mean Joseph ‘defended’ you?” 

“John said I hadn’t reached atonement and that he wanted to carry on, but Joseph heard him and stepped between us. He said I was forgiven and John lost it. I don’t blame him. He’s right.” 

A knock interrupted them once again and Sharky took it upon himself to open the door. Joseph stepped inside and frowned when he saw Rook’s state. 

“I don’t know if you should be here, man. No offence or anything but he’s a little frazzled right now,” Sharky said before Joseph could approach any further. Joseph ignored his warning. 

“Deputy? Please forgive my brother. He wanted to lash out. I’m sorry you were on the receiving end.” He took Sharky’s place between Rook’s knees. 

“He was right, though. I’m so fucking _sorry_ -” Rook dropped his head onto Joseph’s shoulder and let the preacher hold him. 

“I know you are and in time, John will know it too. Give him time. He’s still healing. For now, I suggest you both get used to each other’s company. We’ll both help you.” Joseph glanced back at Sharky and the pyromaniac couldn’t disagree, not when it felt like Joseph would snap his neck if he refused. 

“Yeah, I’ll do whatever you want. Anything for you, Rook.” 

Satisfied, Joseph turned back. “I’m going to go find John, see if I can talk some sense into him. I’ll leave you in your friend’s capable hands. Will you be alright without me?” 

Rook nodded. He quietened down under Joseph’s touch and soft voice. In the corner, Sharky felt uncomfortable with how easily Joseph could calm Rook. Maybe he had missed something important between the two but it unnerved him. Joseph was always a master manipulator and Sharky planned to keep his distance. 

As Joseph left them alone, Sharky began to plan. If he could get hold of those suits, he and Rook could escape. There was too much radiation in the air for them to leave without protection, and the Seeds would not be able to follow. They’d be trapped down here. Sharky kept his idea quiet. Rook was too stressed out to talk to in that moment. 

“Let’s get some rest, man.” 

Rook felt numb as Sharky helped him under the sheets, climbing behind him and keeping a thin space between them. He switched the light off but a glow shined under the doorway. Rook pushed back against him and pulled at his arm until Sharky laid it over his waist, tucking his hand over Rook’s chest. He didn’t mind one bit, enjoying the warmth of another person. John had kept his distance and aside from occasionally accidental brushes, he hadn’t had much contact. Sharky curled up closer and fell asleep. 

\--- 

Joseph made his way back to the living room. He wanted to cheer Rook up, do whatever it took to make him stop crying. But the guilt was still so strong and even Joseph himself struggled to keep his head up and avoid succumbing to the suffocating flood of emotions. He’d put his brothers’ deaths under lock in his mind, unwilling to be tortured with loss. The wound was still very fresh. 

John was curled up on the couch when he came in, watching the fish. It seemed the tank was the main centre of attention in the bunker. He heard his brother’s footsteps and looked up, a weak smile gracing his handsome face. He’d managed to keep his appearance clean, unlike the other three who didn’t quite bother as much with vanity. 

“Done what you needed to do?” He asked, sitting up to give Joseph space. 

“I did what I could to aid him but he must accept the forgiveness I extended. It’s his choice at the end of the day. I cannot force him.” 

John scoffed and shook his head, strands of hair falling into his face without all the gel and hairspray to keep it back. “You truly believe he deserves it?” 

“If you and I can atone for our sins, so can he. We have forgiven worse crimes from our flock so what stops us from forgiving him?” 

“Because it’s personal, Joseph. He hurt our family.” 

“And he paid the price for it. God showed him he was wrong and now he must live with his actions until his last day. He _is_ being punished. His heart is consumed by guilt.” Joseph lifted a hand to tuck the stray hair behind John’s ear. “I miss Jacob too. Every day.” 

John curled himself against his brother. “At least he doesn’t have to deal with this shit. I wonder what Eden’s Gate is like.” 

“You will find out one day but no time soon. I’ll make sure of that. I won’t let any harm come to you. I promise, John.” 

“Are you happy you were right? The Voice, I mean. I had doubts. Not about you- _never_ about you.” 

“The world needed cleansing. I would be happier if history had changed its course before it was too late.” Joseph knew he was avoiding the question but John hummed and took it nonetheless. 

“I’m not happy. I miss my home and I miss the fresh air.” 

“We’ll have it again,” Joseph reassured, pulling John closer. 

“We can.” John suddenly pushed away with confidence in his eyes. “The suits, we can take them and find ourselves a new home. We’ll make our own Eden.” 

“No. I can’t leave Rook behind. He’s part of this. If we do this, we do this together. We’re a family now, all four of us.” 

“Even Boshaw?” John scoffed but the idea had not been crushed. He’d get his brother to listen. 

“Yes, and we should try our best to make him comfortable. So, please give me your knife.” Joseph held out his hand expectantly. 

“What, why? I promised I wouldn’t-” 

“You promised not to harm the Deputy. That didn’t extend to the other one. No one has weapons in here, not even a knife. If we want to earn their trust- if _you_ want to earn their trust- that is the first step you will take.” 

John sighed and grabbed the sheath attached to his belt, pressed against his lower back, and held it out for Joseph to grab. As his brother’s fingers closed around it, he gripped it tighter and met his stare. 

“If it comes down to it, I will not hesitate to _slaughter_ them both if it means you live. I will not let the Deputy take another brother from me. As God is my witness, I will bury this knife so deep in his heart that he will rot with it.” He let go of the knife and let Joseph take it from him. He refused to look away as Joseph accepted his promise and said his own. 

“If either want to try and bring you harm again, there is nothing in this world that will protect them from my wrath.” Joseph took John’s hand in his own, the blade resting between them, and looked him right in the eyes as he spoke. “Not even God and his army of Angels will stop me from protecting you, even if it denies me passage to Eden.” 

A shiver passed through them both. It was as severe as Joseph could become and John needed a moment to let the words sink in. Joseph pulled his head down and pressed their foreheads together, and then he stood and took the knife with him. 


	7. Four-way Gunfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is enjoying this! Do let me know.

Rook woke up far too warm so he yanked the blanket off. A groan startled him and he realised with a giggly grin that Sharky was spooning him. It was kinda cute but he really was over-heating. He sat up and pulled off his jumper, collapsing back on the pillow with a sigh as the cool air brushed on his bare skin. Sharky threw an arm over him again and Rook let it sink in that he wasn’t going back to sleep.

He sat up again, propping his pillow behind him as he sat in the dark. The light under the door was gone so it was probably late.

“What’cha doing, Rookie?” Sharky mumbled as he tried to leech Rook’s body heat and kept his arm firmly around Rook’s waist. His face pressed against his hip. 

“Can’t sleep,” Rook admitted. 

“I know what we can do to tire you out.”

“ _What?_ ”

Sharky laughed and groggily patted him. “I’m just kidding, man. Go run up and down the bunker or something.”

“I’m pretty sure I’d wake two very annoyed Seeds.”

“So? I see no problem with that. Everyone needs exercise.”

“I wonder what kind of exercise you had in mind,” Rook pointed out, ruffling Sharky’s hair. The older man groaned and it didn’t sound displeased. Rook scratched his scalp and he felt his friend melt even more.

“Hey, I don’t judge people. Everyone can like what they want and if that includes sucking dick, let them suck dick.” Rook’s bright laugh startled them both. He giggled until he cried and wheezed. “Jesus Christ, it wasn’t _that_ funny. Just my honest opinion.”

“I know, I know, it’s just the way you said that. Oh lord-” Rook’s laugh dispersed into huffs as he gulped in air. 

“Am I giving you ideas?” 

“I dunno, man. I can’t remember my last blowjob. That’s how sad my life is.” Rook sighed, still shaking with the occasional giggle. Sharky rolled onto his side, his arm still a heavy weight over Rook. 

“You’re joking. What, not even at the 8-Bit? No quickie behind a truck? Seriously?”

“Well most of the time I was being shot at or passed out in some empty cabin. That’s not really the time to deal with a boner.”

“Bullshit, that’s the best time. Adrenaline’s pumping, your heart’s going a thousand miles an hour, your dick’s harder than a rock. Like, it doesn’t even take me five minutes and I’m already-”

“Alright, alright, Jesus Christ. I really don’t need to hear this.” Rook pushed his palms into his eyes as if it would help get rid of the mental image. 

“I’m just saying, it’s the best time and if them Peggies are feelin’ generous...” Sharky lost himself in thought for a moment. 

“You got caught, didn’t you?” Rook tried really hard not to laugh. Okay, he didn’t try at all. 

“I didn’t even know her name but she wasn’t too pleased with the cult’s rules about no fornicating. Damn girl nearly tore my dick off. Good times. I just can’t get over the fact you never jerked one off after a brush with death.”

“Yeah, well some of us prefer to stay alive. Look, can we please talk about something other than dicks?”

Sharky laughed and nodded, not that Rook could see it in the dark. “Yeah, whatever you want, man. Just gimme five minutes-”

“Fuck off!” Rook shoved his friend’s shoulder, a smile plastered on his face. God, he’d missed Sharky. 

“I’m just kidding... Hey, serious now, do you think my cousin, Hurk, made it okay? John and I haven’t really been knocking on bunker doors but I got thinking. I mean, the guy’s a dumbass but he’s lived through some shit.”

“I bet he’s fine. We should try getting hold of a vehicle, check those places out.” Rook felt a surge in energy. He could leave this bunker now. Sharky had brought the suits. “Hey, those suits you came in. Where did you find them?”

“The same bunker we hid in. Lucky find, really. We would’ve been screwed otherwise. You thinking we could leave together? Cause, man, I had that thought earlier.”

Rook looked down at him in the dark. They could go, right now, and escape Hope County. Maybe Rook could finally go home. It meant leaving Joseph behind but if they found more, if they could get help, then Rook would come back and help him.

“We should go, man. Right now, let’s just go,” Sharky insisted when Rook stayed quiet. He touched his friend’s arm. “Rook, let’s do it.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Get up, I need to get dressed.” Sharky stumbled out of the bed and tried to see what Rook was doing, but it seemed the Deputy had memorised the room and didn’t need the lights. “Okay, I’m good.”

Rook opened the door slowly, even if he knew the hinges did not creak. The bunker was cast in darkness and he clumsily grabbed Sharky’s hand to pull him along. The suits were still piled on the floor and Rook struggled to slip it on. When he had the mask safely attached and the hood of the suit pulled up, he grabbed Sharky and went up the stairs. 

His heart was beating so fast. His hand closed around the handle and he was about to push it up when the hallway filled with light. He turned back to see the brothers watching him. John looked ready to tear him apart and Joseph, well, he looked so very disappointed. Suddenly, it didn’t seem like a good idea to leave.

“Come back down, Rook,” Joseph said gently, like he was trying to calm a wild animal. “Take those suits off and come back.”

“I’m not leaving you behind. I promise. We’re gonna find more supplies, more suits for all of us. I wasn’t abandoning you, Joseph. I swear.” Rook made no attempt to pull off the mask or let go of the handle. 

“No, you were just ditching us in the middle of the night thinking we wouldn’t notice,” John spat and Joseph tiredly held up a hand to silence his brother.

“Rook, please. If you open that hatch, we will get irradiated.”

“So, step back and close those safety doors and let us go,” Sharky said with a tone that made John angrier. 

Joseph sighed and pulled a handgun from his waistband, pointing it at Sharky who frowned and entertained batting the weapon away. Rook held his breath. Leaving wasn’t worth risking his friend’s life. He could run and the two couldn’t go after him but that idea made Rook sick. 

He let go of the handle and held his hands in the air. “Okay, Joseph, you win. Just don’t hurt him. We’ll take them off”

Rook saw no way to keep them and survive. Joseph was too careful and he would spot an attack before Rook could strike. He yanked the mask off and stripped out of the suit quickly, leaving it on the side. Sharky followed his lead, never letting his eyes off the gun pointed at his chest. 

“Pick them up and bring them to the kitchen. We need to talk.” Joseph dropped his arm but his grip remained firmly on the weapon. Rook nodded and obeyed his orders without meeting his gaze. 

\---

The suits were thrown over the table and the four looked between each other. John was barely able to stay in control. Without Joseph, Rook feared what he would have done. Sharky was equally pissed at getting caught and Joseph was even more disappointed than that time Rook had blown up his stupid statue.

“It’s clear now that we don’t trust each other enough to leave these suits unattended. I can’t leave them in your care,” Joseph said, looking between Rook and Sharky. The pyromaniac huffed and crossed his arms. “And I suppose the same thought is running through your heads about us. Therefore, we have a problem. What were you planning to do, Deputy?”

Rook looked from the table, where he’d nearly stared a hole into the suits, up to Joseph. Rook fidgeted with the lining of his pockets, picking at a loose thread. When it became clear that Joseph would not simply ignore him, he shrugged.

“We wanted to find our friends.”

Joseph sighed heavily and Rook refused to look guilty, even when Joseph tried to make him feel ashamed for such a simple request.

“You would’ve done the same,” Rook challenged. “If your family was out there-”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” John yelled, slamming his hands on the table and startling Sharky. Joseph did not stop him. “You have no right to talk about them. But you’re right, Deputy, if there was even a sliver of chance that Jacob was out there, I’d leave you behind in an instant and let you starve.”

“You can fucking try,” Rook spit as he felt a very strong urge to punch John. “Oh, wait, you already did and failed. _Spectacularly_.”

“Enough!” 

The two men fell silent as Joseph interrupted their bickering. Rook had never heard him yell before and though he wouldn’t admit it, it scared him a little. John shrinked under his brother’s glare and turned away, pulling his hands back and balling them behind him. 

“John, Rook; neither of you will harm each other and no one is letting anybody starve. We are stuck together where we like it or not. Now, we have a very serious issue here. Who gets to use the suits and for what purpose?”

“I have a couple ideas,” Sharky mumbled. 

“We’ll have to team up. One of us with one of you.” Joseph gestured between himself and Rook. “All of us will be satisfied and we can find the supplies we need.”

Everyone looked at Joseph as if he’d lost his mind. John scoffed and Sharky had to agree with him. There was no way he was spending any more time with the Baptist. Rook considered it more heavily than the others. It resolved their trust issue.

“Deal.”

“What, deal? No, no, _no deal_. Rook, what the hell man?” Sharky grabbed his arm but Rook shook him off and nodded at Joseph. 

“It makes sense. Look, Joseph is right. If we just team up amongst ourselves, this will happen again and someone will get hurt.”

“Good, let it be one of them.” Sharky glared at the brothers and Joseph let it wash over him. John looked ready to tear his head off. “Don’t agree to this.”

“And then what? We don’t have the advantage here. For fuck’s sake, he’s got a fucking gun.” Rook gestured sharply at Joseph, knowing that the gun was only tucked out of sight to avoid a fight. But it was very much there and Rook knew Joseph would use it if he had to, even on him. “Okay, I’m gonna back your plan but I’m making a change.”

Joseph inclined his head for Rook to continue.

“I go with John. You go with Sharky.”

John made a choked noise before he laughed. “Uh, no. I don’t think so.”

“Look, I promise I won’t try to kill you. Pinky swear.” Rook even held up his hand sarcastically.

“Go fuck yourself...”

“ _John_ ,” Joseph reprimanded before he agreed to Rook’s plan. “Alright, I will go with Mr Boshaw. John, you’ll work with the Deputy and neither of you will start a fight. I won’t risk your lives or those suits over some pathetic argument. Is that clear?”

He glanced to John, earning a stiff and slow nod as John gritted his teeth. Rook was pleased enough with their arrangements. 

“Now, can I put my trust in all of you to stay away from the suits until we use them? I don’t want to change the sleeping arrangements just to avoid further conflict.”

“Yeah, we’ll leave them alone as long as you do too.” Rook saw Sharky frown more from the corner of his eye.

“You have my promise that John and I will leave them be.” 

“Okay then, it’s sorted.” 

Joseph seemed pleased but it was hard to tell. He grabbed the suits and laid them across his arm as he carried them to the lockers. John wanted to follow and leave but he stayed put until Joseph came back a minute later. 

“Unless there’s another problem to address, I’m going back to bed. Do me a favour and do the same. Goodnight.” Joseph walked back out without another glance. John glared at the two before following his brother out.

“You sure about this?” Sharky asked Rook as they settled back together in the small bed. There was no way Rook was sharing with the Seeds now, not when John could stab him within a blink. 

“No but what choice do we have? Whoever goes out can look for our friends. We’ll find them, Sharky.”

\---

The tension could be cut with a knife. Sharky insisted on eating with Rook, away from the Seeds. He grabbed what Joseph had prepared without any thanks and disappeared back into his new room. During the day, Sharky wandered between the workshop and the bedroom, never exchanging more than a few glares or frowns towards any passing Seed.Eventually, Rook broke and walked away. He was getting bored of the passive aggression and Sharky couldn’t understand why he started getting fidgety. 

He found John right away in the surveillance room wasting power on the screens, flicking through them like television channels. Rook said nothing and kept walking. He wasn’t looking for him.

The living room was darkened except for a small reading light. Joseph was curled up on the couch, a book in hand. He raised his eyes to acknowledge Rook’s presence before returning to the worn, dog-eared pages. 

Rook stood awkwardly in the doorway before gaining the courage to sit down next to him. The silence was a crushing weight between them, like it had been in the beginning. Joseph said nothing, did nothing, except turn the pages.

“Joseph, I...” Rook began before he shut up. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. He was sorry for lying to him, making him felt abandoned. It had been an instant decision and while he didn’t regret the idea, perhaps he could have executed it better.“I wasn’t going to leave you behind.”

Joseph turned another page. 

“We were talking about someone and the idea to search for them just gripped me. I wasn’t thinking about anything else and I know what it looked like. You probably thought I was ditching you but I wasn’t. I really don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I am sorry-”

Joseph shut the book closed firmly and laid it on his knee, turning to face Rook. “And just what are you sorry for? Would you like to know what I thought when I saw you in that suit?”

“I’m sorry-”

“That the time we had spent together meant nothing and that I had clearly overestimated you. I had prayed that someday we could be friends and we could rebuild the world together. But then I saw you and everything became pointless.” Joseph turned away with a sigh, leaving Rook so cold he felt it in his bones. “I thought we could be something other than enemies. I never marked you as one but you’ve always been hell-bent on making me one.”

He put the book to one side and dragged a hand through his tangled hair. 

“I will help you find your friends but it is not a priority at this moment. Food, water, and fuel are our concerns, and John will stay with you to make sure you keep focused.”

Rook didn’t feel as cold now. Joseph, for all his faults and issues, was more patient and forgiving than anyone had any right to be. 

“Thank you.”


	8. Home, Sweet Nuclear Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> extra long chapter for you guys today!

The day finally came when they would leave the bunker and start exploring the remains of the ashy world. A map was laid out on the kitchen table and someone had circled the areas to tap into. Everything decent was across the bridge and off the island which meant at least an hour getting back and forth. 

Rook volunteered to go first. 

He wasn’t sure he was ready to see the remains of Hope County but he needed to. As he packed a bag, he tried to keep positive and hoped his allies had found shelter. Hell, at this point he would be happy to see a Peggie just because it meant they were alive. He didn’t speak much to Joseph after his chat. The cultist wasn’t interested in talking to him. Rook hated how lonely it made him feel even with Sharky glued to his side day and night. Sharky had no wish to go back up to the surface, making it a very easy decision to let Rook go in his place. 

John wasn’t eager either. He complained as he shoved a water bottle in his rucksack and it made Rook wonder why neither wanted to go. Trapped in the bunker, Rook needed to go outside. He hadn’t seen the sun or felt the breeze in almost three months and it was taking its toll on his wellbeing. 

As Rook zipped up the hazmat suit over his jeans and hoodie, John finally joined him but he made no move to get ready.

“I’m not coming,” he stated simply as though it was a trip into town he was avoiding. 

“Why not?” 

“I've seen enough. Joseph will join you instead.” John left, leaving Rook holding his mask and frowning at his retreating back. 

True enough, Joseph took his place. He nodded at the Deputy and slipped into the suit, fiddling with it as he got used to the awkwardness of adjusting the mask and hood so that he would be protected. John came back to say goodbye to his brother and his eyes lingered untrustingly on Rook before he sealed the doors. 

“Would you do the honour?” Joseph gestured to the hatch and watched as Rook stepped up to it, grasping the handle.

This time he really opened it. Fresh air hissed through the gap and Rook pushed it until it fell with a thunk against the dirt. There was only silence greeting them as they both walked out. Rook threw the hatch closed and started walking.

The ground was burned and coated with a light dusting of ash. The trees were black splinters stabbing out of the ground like teeth and as Rook jogged to the water's edge, he saw that the world around them was grey and black. The mountains were hidden under low, dark clouds that barely moved and threatened them with a long and violent rainstorm. 

Rook looked back to Joseph, eager to start on their mission and avoid the rain. He couldn’t see the cultist. 

“Joseph?” 

There was no answer and Rook began to worry. He followed his steps back to the bunker and took the path forward to the bridge. After a couple minutes of searching, he found Joseph kneeling on the ground by the dried-up creek. He approached carefully and rested a hand on the cultist's shoulder. When Joseph did not respond, he sat down next to him.

“You okay?” 

Joseph finally looked up and his eyes were wet. Rook fought the urge to hold him.

“I just... I thought I was prepared,” he whispered, glancing away from Rook to take in what remained of his home. 

“Yeah, me too. We need to get going. John and Sharky are waiting for us, we can’t let them down.”

Rook stood and helped Joseph to his feet, dusting himself off before leading the way off the island.That’s when he saw the truck. The grill was bent inwards, the hood at a strange angle and the front window smashed to pieces. It was the one he'd driven here. The seats were empty. Blood had dried on the leather but there was no sign anyone had died in it. 

“Hey, wait up,” he called out to Joseph. “You pulled me out. Were they okay when you saw them?” 

“They were either unconscious or dead. I was too preoccupied with you to notice.” 

Regardless of Joseph's words, Rook had hope. They could have survived. There was another bunker on the island, close to a small fishing pond. He convinced Joseph to follow him there but when they reached it, the bunker was in the same state Rook had left it in. No one had stayed there.

Soon they were back on track.

Rook stood on the side of the road, holding the map and glancing left and right. He could head up towards the saloon but there wasn’t much beyond that for nearly a mile. It would be wasted effort. Down towards the Henbane, there were more stops that could hold supplies. Crossing the bridge would also benefit them but that meant a long walk. 

Joseph headed right without a word and Rook followed, folding the map and tucking it back in his pocket. It was hard to keep up with the cultist when everything around Rook distracted him. He’d driven a few times down this road and he vividly remembered the tall trees on the river bank. Now it was empty and he could see right down the slope to the lapping waves. It was all too still, too quiet. 

The outreach centre was still standing. The propaganda signs creaked in the breeze and the ashes floated up around his ankles as he walked past the melted cars. 

Joseph made looting look so easy. He grabbed what he could fit in his rucksack and dug around the supply closet for trash bags. The clothes still intact on the shelves were shoved in without care and Rook felt entirely useless as he stood by and watched. It only took the leader a couple minutes and by the time Rook had put a couple oat bars in his pocket, Joseph was dropping the bag in one corner and leaving it for their return trip.

The same process happened at the chalets. He was a whirlwind, taking anything useful and leaving behind a careless mess. Rook tried to carry out the same methods but found his speed lacking. In the end, Joseph had to wait for him to finish. 

They must have been gone two hours already and the storm above was only brewing darker. Rook felt a drop on his shoulder and a minute later, the clouds were pissing it down mercilessly. They took refuge in Lorna’s truck stop and he watched Joseph dig around before he finally sat down on a plastic waiting chair that was too small for any adult. 

“I think we did well today,” Rook exclaimed, smiling beneath the mask. He itched to take it off but he never dared reach for it. 

“I think so too. Once the storm lets up, we’ll head home.” 

“Home, huh?” Rook joined him, bumping elbows and grinning. Joseph huffed but Rook could see in his eyes he wasn’t angry. “Our lovely hole in the ground. Maybe we should find one of those cross-stitch signs. You know, the ‘home sweet home’ with like some cute flowers or some shit. Just hang it up by the entrance.”

“You’re carrying it back.”

“It would be my pleasure. You think they’re okay back there?” Rook let himself wonder about John. He’d promised to keep him far from Sharky and he’d broken it. Once he was back, he was gonna apologise. He seemed to always be apologising for something or other lately.

“Yes, and if they’re both smart, they’re staying out of each other’s way.”

“We’ve got a fucking weird family,” Rook stated with a low whistle. “Two religious maniacs, no offence, one dude completely obsessed with fire, and an ex-cop who keeps fucking things up.”

“You don’t fuck things up.” Joseph rested a hand on his wrist and squeezed reassuringly. He raised a brow when Rook’s eyes widened and he looked beyond giddy. “What?”

“You swore. You _actually_ swore. Dude, are you okay? Do you feel any different? Holy crap, I never thought I’d see the day when Joseph Seed said a bad word- _Ow_ , hey, don’t punch me!” Rook rubbed at his stinging arm and frowned, tempted to punch Joseph right back before he realised how childish the cultist was acting. It was refreshing.

“You’re an asshole, sometimes.”

“Two bad words! Joseph, you’ve got to stop. Any more and you might have to lie down, it can’t be good for you.” Rook jumped out of his seat before Joseph could land another punch. “Calm down, I’m only messing with you.”

“Behave, Deputy,” Joseph teased, crossing one leg over his knee and slumping into the chair.

“Says the guy who just said _fuck_ for the first time in his life.” 

“I’ve got plenty more choice words for you if you don’t drop it.” 

Rook inclined his head, raising his brows. His grin was hidden by the respirator but Joseph could feel it, sappy and infectious. 

“Now, you know that was a perfect invitation.” He sat back down, bumping against him again and laughing. “Hey, try saying shit next or maybe... no, that might be beyond your capabilities. But try saying cunt. I know, I know, it’s a very bad word but it would make you feel really good.”

Joseph stared at him, looking every bit like a disappointed dad trying his damnedest not to laugh. “Are you quite finished?”

“Are you kidding? I’m an army kid, I’ve got a list long enough to make your God blush and that’s just in English.”

“You’re not going to let this die, are you?” 

Rook shook his head. “The first thing I’m telling John is that you said some naughty words. I can just imagine the look on his face. Bet he’ll blame it on my influence and he’d be right.” 

“Perhaps I can influence you to be quiet.” Joseph tried to get comfortable as he laid back and closed his eyes like he was trying to take a nap. Rook wasn’t buying it.

“Nah, I don’t think you can.”

Joseph ignored him, content to sit there in blissful silence. Rook was too bored so he got up and wandered around the truck stop. The rain was almost painfully loud on the porch roof and the potholes were filling quickly. He found a tennis ball, probably left behind by some dog or kid. He bounced it off the wall, entertaining himself for a few minutes before he moved on to something else. The ball was tossed from one hand to the other. 

The cash register was easy to pry open. Mainly he smashed the side with his fist. Most of the old ones around here could be punched into coercion. He grabbed the few bills still stuck inside and stuffed them into his pocket. His wallet was in the bunker, straining from the many bills he’d stolen off Peggies and abandoned shops. It was illegal but so was much of the shit he did. 

“I hope you understand how useless that money is now,” Joseph commented when Rook sat back down. “The world’s fallen into chaos. The only currency remaining are life-saving supplies.”

“Aren’t you a ray of sunshine? Well, I’m not gonna pass up thirty bucks.” 

Joseph sighed and closed his eyes again. He looked ready to fall into sleep’s warm embrace but Rook couldn’t shut his mouth for long. His mom had always told him it would get him into trouble.

“What’s the plan, after all this?” Joseph cracked one, annoyed eye open and Rook could feel his judgement through the layers of plastic. “I mean, are we going to stay in bunkers for the rest of our lives? If it was up to me, I’d move us to another state. Or anywhere far from the bombs. There’s gotta be places we can live without these suits.”

“You say that as if you plan to stay with me for a while.” There was a knowing look in Joseph’s eyes that made Rook turn away. 

“Yeah, well, you know this stuff better than I do. You’re the expert so I’m safer with you than on my own.”

“Of course,” Joseph said with a smile. 

“That and... we make a good team. Right?” Rook glanced back at him hopefully. He hadn’t thought much about their future but in that moment, he didn’t want to be left alone.

“Yes, we do. I think the rain is slowing down. Shall we make our way home? I believe we got enough today to make our family quite happy.” 

Joseph stood and held out a hand to help Rook up. It wasn’t necessary but Rook took it nonetheless. It was the gesture that mattered. They shouldered their bags and stepped out into the drizzle. 

They walked together, grabbing their extra supplies, including a full gas canister, from the centre and headed back to the bunker. 

\---

Joseph let him in first, pulling the hatch closed behind them. The sound must have notified the others as John popped up by the window, startling Rook with his silent presence. They showered their suits and let the water wash off the traces of radiation. 

Rook was a little hesitant to bring the bags in. Surely the food and clothes they had found was contaminated. It was all sealed in plastic but Joseph had no qualms about dragging it in. He decided to follow the expert’s lead.Rook was almost thrown off his feet when Sharky tackled him into a bear hug. He hid his frightened shriek behind a high-pitched laugh. 

“Man, you okay? You were gone for ages-” Sharky rambled like a sad puppy whose owner had left for a couple hours. It was way longer than that but he was being ridiculous. Rook managed to pull out of his near-chokehold.

“I’m fine! Jesus Christ, tone it down man. We got some really good shit.” 

Rook dragged him into the living room where Joseph had turned the lights on and with John’s help was laying out their catch on the table. Sharky’s eyes went wide.

“Dude, no way. You are so totally forgiven. How far did you go?”

“Lorna’s truck stop by the Henbane. Hit a few places on the way. We got fuel, food and water. There’s more out there but the rain stopped us.”

Joseph finished up, looking proudly at Rook and the things they’d found. “I’ll start putting this away. Would one of you kindly fill up our tank?”

“I will,” John volunteered, grabbing the canister. As he passed Rook, he said, “You did good today, Deputy.”

Rook couldn’t help smiling and embracing the praise. He’d earned it and so did Joseph. The eldest Seed gave him a look, his eyes twinkling with unsaid pride, and started storing the supplies in the next room. 

\---

That night, the atmosphere between them was light-hearted and joyful. Sharky wasn’t flinching at the Seed’s laughter or John’s dramatic behaviour. Rook noticed he even chuckled at one of John’s jokes. It was one of the inappropriate ones that made Joseph shake his head and question if he really was related to his brother. It didn’t help when the topic swan-dived into sexual experience and Rook had plenty to boast about from his college years, enough to rival John and that was something impressive. At least Rook thought it was impressive. 

Joseph tried very hard to block it out. By the time Sharky mentioned a late-night encounter with a cougar and something called sounding, Joseph’s face was red with embarrassment. Sharky misunderstood John’s questioning glance and started explaining it.Joseph stood up and excused himself to shower, clearly having heard enough scarring material for a lifetime, leaving the three others giggling like drunks. Sharky carried on explaining. After a while, Joseph came out and disappeared won the hall, doing his best not to listen in.

Rook went to find Joseph after they finished, judging the situation before leaving Sharky alone with John. They were still talking about sex. Clearly, Sharky felt safe enough.

He found Joseph in his room, kneeling by a cross he must have taken from their trip. Rook hadn’t noticed him take it, nor did he see the white and gold book being shoved in his bag. But there it sat beside him, the Book of Joseph. Rook had flicked through the pages once before tossing the book aside.

The cultist was quiet with his head bowed and his body relaxed. As Rook stalked closer, he could smell the fresh lemon soap they all shared. Joseph had let his hair down and it sat in damp curls on his bare shoulders. The chill didn’t seem to bother him. 

Rook sat with him, a polite distance away where he could see the frowns on Joseph’s face fade as he lost himself in meditation. His lips moved silently and Rook stopped trying to guess what he was saying. It was nice to sit together, the sounds of laughter echoing from down the hall where his friends were enjoying each other’s company. He didn’t see John as a friend, though, maybe an ally. A very temperamental and scary ally who could bite his head off just as quickly as hug him. 

Rook was very glad he got stuck with the middle sibling. Jacob would have been a nightmare to navigate and understand, and John was a chaotic ball of raw nerves. Either men would have been a constant threat but Joseph was calm and understanding. Rook wasn’t about to guess whether it was fate or sheer luck but he was grateful nonetheless.

He was so lost in thought he didn’t notice Joseph had finished and was watching him with a soft smile. Rook startled and bowed his head.

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t interrupt.”

“Not at all. It’s nice to have you with me. Perhaps you’d like to pray with me?” Joseph rearranged himself so he could sit cross-legged, his hands slumped in his lap. He flicked his gaze to the cross.

The Deputy shook his head. “I don’t really pray.”

“Why not?” 

“I don’t believe in God or any Gods for that matter. Everything I got in my life came from my own hands, I didn’t ask for it.”

Joseph hummed, fiddling with the leather band he’s slipped back in his wrist. Rook had forgotten he’d owned it at all and he watched as Joseph’s thumb rubbed over the cross absentmindedly, like it was a reflex. 

“I never asked for this,” he started, looking at his own hands. “I was given a choice; to ignore the signs and carry on my life blissfully ignorant, or to accept that people needed me. There was a moment when I had reunited with my brothers and I felt whole again. John had so much money, we could have bought a house somewhere nice and never worry about eating scraps again. That choice came up once more and it made me so angry. I wanted a home, I wanted to be a family again. But I knew that if I asked John to do this, I was condemning hundreds to their deaths.”

Rook leaned forward and placed a hand over Joseph’s, stopping him from fraying the cord. The cultist paused and took a deep breath.

“They’re not your burden to carry, Joseph. People make their own decisions and you can’t convince everyone. You did what you could and the ones you saved are very grateful.” Rook smiled but Joseph couldn’t see it with his head bowed. “But you should feel guilty for the ones you hurt. Even if the bombs hadn’t dropped, you still split this county in two. Good people lost their homes, their family. Whether you meant for that to happen doesn’t matter, it still happened.”

“What do you want from me? Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you need to make amends. I understand what you were trying to do and you weren’t entirely wrong, but you hurt so many people doing what you thought was right. Most of them are gone now but not all. You forgave me for what I did and I’ll never forget that. I want to be able to forgive you but you have to show me you deserve it first.”

Joseph looked up and Rook wasn’t surprised to see the wet streaks on his cheeks. Rook wasn’t entirely sure where this had come from but he meant every word. Joseph could see the honesty in his eyes. 

“What should I do? I... I don’t know where to start.”

“Start with Sharky. He’ll probably be a dick and try to ignore you but just sit him down and talk. After that, I’m sure John will need that kind of closure.” When Joseph frowned in confusion, Rook started again. “You pointed John in whatever direction you needed, even if it twisted him into a monster. I know you love your brother which is why you need to apologise.”

Joseph nodded, sniffling, as he took in Rook’s words. He laid a hand over his and Rook’s, clasping them in a strong grip. 

“Now?”

“Got somewhere you need to be?” Rook joked and earned himself a little breathy laugh. Joseph shook his head and untangled his legs to stand. “Maybe put a shirt on first. I don’t mind the view but Sharky tends to prefer busty chests.” 

“Yes, I know. I did have to sit through dinner.” Joseph grabbed a shirt, buttoning it up and leaving two buttons open. He threw on a hoodie for extra warmth and Rook would have guessed he was just some older hipster rather than a murdering cultist.

“You were blushing so hard back there. I never guessed you were so... _vanilla_.” Rook threw an arm out vaguely, a small frown forming.

“I have no idea what that means and-” Joseph held a hand up before Rook could make a sound. “I’d prefer to stay ignorant.” 

“Thought you always wanted the truth.” Rook followed him to the door, ready to go to his own room. “Means you’re boring in bed. You know, in-out and done.”

Joseph turned on him with a raised brow. “And what gives you that idea?”

“Well, you know, you’re a religious man.”

“And that automatically means I’m boring?”Rook shrugged and waved a hand from side to side, pulling a face. Joseph chuckled and laid a hand on Rook’s shoulder.“In that case, I won’t bother to tell you what I can do with my mouth or even some rope. Since you think I’m _so_ boring.”

Joseph winked and walked out into the hallway. He turned just to see the look of horror on Rook’s very red face.

“Who’s blushing now, Deputy?”

Rook held up his middle finger at Joseph’s back and crawled into his bedroom, cursing the cultist and his spontaneous nature. 

\---

Joseph wiped his smile away before entering the living room. His brother was lounged comfortably across the couch, nose stuck in a book he’d dug out. Boshaw sat at the table, writing something down in a notebook.

“John, would you give me a moment with Mr Boshaw?” 

The youngest Seed sighed and folded the corner of his page, taking it with him as he threw a curious glance between the two. Once he had left, presumably to go to his room, Joseph took a seat at the table. Sharky raised a brow, only looking up for a second before returning to his notes. There were doodles in the margin.

“What are you writing?” Joseph asked, leaning back in the chair so he wouldn’t peek at the book nosily. 

“Just things that pop into my head. I think I should write a book, ya know, about what we’ve gone through. But like with different names ‘cause I’d get arrested real quick. I think it would sell out.”

Joseph nodded, not wishing to remind Boshaw that there weren’t many people left in the world who would buy a book. 

“So, what d’ya want?” 

“I think we need to have a long chat. There are things I need to confess and set right.”

Sharky put his pen down and crossed his arms, leaning back in the chair. “Okay, is this going to take long?”

Joseph nodded sheepishly. 

“Alright, well, I’ll make us some coffee and you can confess or whatever it is you want to do.”

\---

Rook was on the verge of sleep when Sharky snuck in. The pyromaniac tried to be quiet but he was also trying to navigate in the dark. Rook switched the light on after a minute of stumbling. Sharky had the decency to look guilty.

“Sorry, I was trying to be quiet.” 

Rook rolled his eyes. Sharks stripped off his hoodie and jeans, leaving himself in a ratty t-shirt filled with holes and boxers. When he peeled back the cover, he plastered himself to Rook’s warm body and hummed happily. He kept his cold feet away because he knew Rook would instantly kick him in the shin. He still had bruises from a week ago.

“The strangest thing just happened to me. Joseph told me he was sorry for what he’d done, like the whole murder cult thing, and I think he meant it. How weird is that? And he then thanked me for listening and he... he fucking hugged me. Dep, I don’t know what the fuck just happened.”

“He’s trying,” Rook explained vaguely. “Was it a creepy kinda hug or like-?”

“No, no, it was really nice. Okay, don’t judge me for this but the only things running through my mind at the time was ‘what the fuck’ on a loop and that he smelled really good. That’s not normal, is it?”

“No but you’re right, he does.”

Sharky looked relieved. “Oh God, yes. Is it a little weird that I wasn’t thinking pure thoughts? I mean, is it a sin to think about a preacher like that?”

Rook laughed. “Probably but who cares? I don’t think he’s ordained or anything.”

“I’m so glad you said that.”

“Would you like to have the bed to yourself for a little bit? Cause I can leave and let you sort yourself out.”

Sharky snorted. “Fuck off.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joseph finally said a bad word, John's being a decent human being, Sharky's oversharing, and Rook is a hyper-active man-child. Tune in next time for more crazy bunker adventures!


	9. Wreath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra long chapter today!! Happy holidays everyone!

A month passed. 

Joseph and Rook had been silently elected to go on supply runs, expanding their reach into the Henbane. The ash had disappeared with the heavy rains that came in the late winter. Water and snow turned it into dark slush but Rook had noticed the world looked a little bit less wounded with each rainfall. The biting cold gave way to snow that piled up on the hatch and someone always had to clear it.They never saw any animals or people.

Rook kept using the radio, left it on for hours now that they had more than enough fuel. He kept ticking off the days on the dog calendar and it was almost Christmas. The radio stayed silent but he never gave up, even taking a trip to the ranger station on the island to see if the generator still worked. The radio had been destroyed in the fire but the tower still worked. Joseph helped him with that and soon their broadcast worked across the Henbane region.

There was a real sense of community between them. Fights rarely broke out that weren’t fixed by the end of the day. They knew each other’s tells. Rook got fidgety, played with everything on hand, when he was bored and restless at the same time. John got angry and it was best to keep out of his way until he’d regained normalcy. Sharky avoided people and stayed in his workshop. And Joseph retreated to his room where he could breath and be alone for a few hours.

It seemed like Joseph’s apology was affecting Sharky well and the pyromaniac found himself sharing things about himself and relaxing in the cultist’s company. Whether he had spoken to John yet was another matter. Rook couldn’t simply ask him but he didn’t spot any behaviour change in John. He decided not to push. Joseph would do it when he was ready.

With the holiday coming up, Rook wanted to decorate the bunker. Dutch hadn’t been a festive man as far as Rook could tell and nothing in the lockers or closets screamed Christmas. He grabbed Sharky one day and pulled him into his room, laughing to himself at how used to it Sharky was. 

“What’s your idea now?” He said sluggishly. He’d been up all-night tinkering with a blowtorch and bits of metal. Rook could hear it as he tried to sleep. Thankfully, Sharky was smart enough not to use the hammer until everyone was awake.

“We need to get the bunker ready for Christmas.”

“Um, with what?”

“Exactly, there’s nothing here. I’m gonna head out, see what I can find in the house nearby. Do you want to come join me?”

Sharky suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Man, you know I don’t want to go up there.”

“I know but some day you’re going to have to.”

“Yeah, when that time comes, I’ll go but I’m sorry that’s not now. I’ll give you a hand with decorating but just don’t ask me to go outside.”

Rook took a step back and held up his hands. “Okay, fine, but you will help out down here.”

With Sharky unwilling to go, he only had two options. Going alone was not happening. 

John was alone in his room, stretched across his bed. Rook knocked on the door before opening it. The Baptist gave him a look that screamed go away but Rook insisted.

“I need your help for Christmas. Want to go outside with me and loot?”

“Do I have to?” 

“No but I’d like to go with you. I wanted to surprise Joseph.”

At the mention of his brother, John immediately changed his tune. “Alright, done. When?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll tell him we’re getting supplies and checking the area.”

The next morning, Joseph waved them off. Sharky had already wished them luck before. The fresh air was nice, even if it was filtered through the masks. The cold, however, Rook could live without. He had a couple layers under the suit but with a determined grin, he led the way into the Henbane Region.

John kept up well. He wasn’t distracted by every shiny thing like Rook was and he was just as quick as Joseph to pack and gather whatever string lights or tinsel he could find. Joseph had probably given his siblings a crash course on looting.

“Are we going to talk about why you’re doing this?” John asked as they headed back towards the bunker, a box in his arms and his bag filled with _junk_ , as he put it.

“It’s almost Christmas.”

“It’s also the end of the world.”

Rook stopped on the dirt path that led away from the main road. “Yeah and it’s the last time we’ll have a proper Christmas on the actual date. Don’t the holidays mean anything to you?”

John scoffed. “You must be quite naïve if you think I care about that.” When Rook frowned, he explained. “When I was a kid, I got nothing. We never had a tree or pretty lights. My brothers and I huddled together for warmth. It doesn’t mean anything to me as an adult either.”

“That’s even more of a reason to do it. Look, we’re not the best of friends but we get along. Maybe I can make you change your mind.”

Rook thought he saw a smile tug at John’s lips, a small crack in the perpetually annoyed or indifferent façade. 

\---

Joseph always woke up before anyone else. The sun barely peeked over the mountain tops by the time he was dressed and ready for the day, whether there was a sermon planned or reading reports at his desk. Living underground changed nothing. 

John slept in the bed next to his, wrapped in two blankets with his head buried into the pillow. Only the long strands on top were visible. He made little noise and rarely moved, mostly because he’d tangled his limbs in the night and his body had given up trying to free itself. He didn’t wake when Joseph turned on a reading lamp to gather his clothes to take into the bathroom with him.

The two over in the next room also slept in. Boshaw had started late night projects and wasn’t up until noon. It made the food last longer so Joseph wasn’t complaining. Rook was not a morning person either.

So, when Joseph walked into the living area, he was more than surprised to see Rook wide awake and in the process of throwing tinsel on the support beams of their ceiling. The Deputy was balancing on his toes, using the table to give him more height. 

“What are you doing?” Joseph asked after he knocked on the wall, hoping he didn’t startle Rook enough to fall and break something. They had an infirmary but they had yet to use it. Joseph wanted it kept that way.

“It’s Christmas Eve.”

“It will be a sad holiday if you break your neck. How long have you been up?”

Rook looked at the clock. “A couple hours. I wasn’t sure when you’d get up.” 

He jumped off the table gracefully; meaning he didn’t stumble into one of the chairs though he brushed it. He moved to stand with Joseph in the doorway and admired his work. 

“Looks good, right?”

“I take it you’re not done.” Joseph pointed at the box John had brought in. “Your latest trip, I suppose.”

“It was meant to be a surprise.” Rook ducked his head away from Joseph’s observing stare, like he wanted to read Rook’s thoughts. 

“It worked. I _am_ surprised.” He held up the bundle of clothes. “When I’m back, would you like some help?”

“Yeah, alright.”

With all the fuel they gathered from truck stops, old bunkers, and the occasional prepper stash, hot water could flow freely. The water was recycled constantly, except for the decontamination showers, and Joseph had added more water to the system. 

Standing under the hot spray was a blessing he wasn’t about to take for granted. He only allowed himself a hot shower once a week, leaving the other days cold. His hand strayed to his latest scar. John had given it to him after some convincing, carving the word GUILT into his left shoulder. Joseph hadn’t explained why but as he cleaned the healing wound, he felt lighter. 

Rook had been right, he needed to atone for his own sins. Ones he had pushed aside to complete his goal. When he would have the nerve to speak to John, to apologise, he planned to carve KILLER on his chest and display it for what little of the world was left to see. He had many crosses to bear but this weighed heavier than the others. 

He dried himself off quickly and glanced in the mirror. Most days he got dressed quickly to chase away the cold. He wiped a towel over the condensation and noticed with a frown that he definitely needed to shave. Grabbing a pair of scissors, he trimmed back his beard to a decent length. His eyes were rimmed with dark lines and his skin pale from the lack of sunshine, even through the visor of his gas mask.

To anyone, he might have looked tired and weak. His body weight had significantly decreased and his already sharp angles had only deepened. Tracing a hand down his spine, he felt every bump. But inside, he felt alive and happy. He had a family again, he was safe and atoning for his sins day by day.

Joseph realised he had been in the bathroom for a long time. Rook was waiting for him and hopefully he wasn’t standing on the table. 

Rook was thankfully on the ground like an intelligent person, trying to pull apart various lights from their tangled nest of wires. He had some draped around his neck, others poking from his pockets. He glared at Joseph’s chuckle. 

“Took your time,” Rook commented, continuing his struggle. Joseph dipped both hands into the box and pulled out all the lights, dropping them on the table so he could sort them easier. “You shaved.”

“I felt it was necessary,” Joseph said, absentmindedly rubbing a palm across the short hairs. 

“Yeah, you started to resemble your Peggies... or a caveman. To be fair, there’s not much difference.”

“Do you ever say something nice?”

Rook snorted. “Only if it’s going to get me laid, and considering our current lack of females...”

“You sound like your friend.” 

The lights became finally untangled and Rook took them to the nearest power outlet to test whether they even worked. Something he probably should have done before.“No, I get the feeling he would bang anything.”

“And you’re far more respectable,” Joseph joked, fishing in his pocket for his hair tie. When he held it, Rook yanked it from his fingers. “Give me _that_.”

“I prefer it down.” Rook shoved it in his back pocket, not realising that Joseph would crowd him against the wall and slip his hand down his back to get it. 

“And I prefer to see without hair in my eyes.” 

He found the tie and pulled his hand out, only for Rook to grab it and keep it firmly against his ass. Joseph’s eyes flashed with confusion and then curiosity. Rook held up his free hand to reach out and tuck the loose strands behind Joseph’s ear. Maybe he lingered a bit too long and his fingers grazed his jawline in a way that couldn’t be misinterpreted as an accident. The isolation must’ve gotten to Rook for him to do that but Joseph squeezed a handful of his ass before stepping out of Rook’s reach, causing the Deputy to bite back a small gasp and try to keep him close. 

“Keep good care of it then.”

Joseph returned to the decorations straining to be contained in the rucksack. Rook didn’t move and he could barely breathe. When his brain switched back online, he carefully adjusted his jeans even if he had an inkling Joseph knew what he was trying to hide.

John joined them an hour later, oblivious to the tension in the room. Rook couldn’t stop staring at Joseph, especially when he leaned in to grab something. He had to know. He shouldn’t need raise his arms to reveal a pale strip of skin and sharp hipbones so often, or to keep brushing up against Rook with various body parts. 

They sat down for breakfast and John complimented their work. He had that little genuine smile he always tried to hide, like being nice and happy was a bad thing. When he left to take a shower, Joseph stood to clean their dishes.Rook was having none of that nonchalance. Something had broken in Joseph to make him do that. After nearly four months together, he’d never so much as hinted at anything. Not until Sharky’s joyful tales and until Rook had teased him. Maybe it was the wait or the loneliness or maybe Joseph had enough of his abstinence. Rook didn’t care what caused him to act out but fuck, it had been so goddamn long and Joseph was a good-looking guy. 

He followed Joseph the few steps to the sink and when the man bent over to turn the tap on, Rook grabbed his hips and pressed himself flat against the man’s back. He felt warm skin under his fingertips, sending an electric flutter down his spine as he dared search further under Joseph’s shirt. The muscles shifted under his ticklish touch and rough nails dragging across his belly.

“You had no right to tease me like that,” Rook spoke lowly into his ear. Joseph fumbled to cut the water and braced his hands on the edge of the sink.

“Who said I was teasing? You stole something of mine. I was simply getting it back.” Despite his light words and feigned innocence, Rook felt him push back against his hips subtly.

“Was grabbing my ass part of retrieving it?”

“It’s not my fault you picked your back pocket- _Ahh_...” Rook grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked Joseph’s head back. He had no clue what possessed him to be so rough but Joseph didn’t struggle. He leaned back against Rook, his back arched elegantly.

“Don’t be such a smartass, it doesn’t suit you.” 

Rook had more plans in mind but the shower cutting off made him let go, with enough time for Joseph to push his messy hair down. Standing beside him, Rook glanced down and smirked to himself. Joseph was just as hard as he was. He snuck a hand down and teased the outline with his index finger, causing the cultist to tense and lose focus. 

When John stepped out, Rook was sat at the table looking calm and normal. The youngest Seed left after admiring the lights again and Rook was out of his seat in a flash, grinning at Joseph like a shark. He almost felt pity for the man. 

“I hope you didn’t take a vow,” Rook said, leaning in close over his back. “Because you are going to have a _very_ hard time if you did.” His hand strayed close, rubbing circles into the dip of his hips. 

“Have you always been such a tease?” Joseph sounded breathless and Rook glanced up to find his face flushed and his eyes nearly closed. 

“Always. But remember, you started it first. If I might make a suggestion, go take care of your problem now because this,” Rook grabbed him through his jeans roughly, making Joseph gasp and tremble. “This is very, very distracting.”

He gave him a hard squeeze along the entire length, knowing just where to add pressure to make Joseph buck into his hand. He grinned at him before letting go and stepping back to go through the bags and pulling out the nicer tinsel.

He glanced back in time to see Joseph head towards the bathroom. The cultist didn’t come out for twenty minutes. Rook counted.

\---

John was getting curious. Normally he didn’t bother snooping through Sharky’s things but the man kept hiding himself in the workshop. It wasn’t long before John cracked and the undying urge to find out what taken hold of Sharky got the better of him.He had a habit of not knocking. It got him in a lot of trouble but he also learned a lot of interesting things when he startled people. He also had plenty of scarring memories. Oddly enough, barging in on Sharky this time proved to be rather boring. At least the man had pants on this time. 

Sharky was setting something on fire. Considering who he was and what he liked, John wasn’t the least bit surprised. At least it seemed like he had a purpose instead of burning random shit.

“What are you up to?” John asked, keeping a safe distance from the blowtorch. He had a dislike for fire nowadays, especially since his kidnapping. 

Sharky turned it off, setting it down on the work table and pulling off his gloves and mask.“Little present for Dep. I figured I’d make him something.” 

John looked at the various pieces of metal. He couldn’t have guessed what the hell he was making. It looked like a mess, but he didn’t tell Sharky that.

“I’m sure he’ll love it.”

“Got something for you, too, but you can see it tomorrow.” 

Sharky had proud smile on his face. John was glad things were improving between them, it made things go smoother, but he’d surely had no part in it. He tried to smile back but the truth was he hadn’t bothered to get Sharky anything. Hell, even if he could have gone to a mall and paid for a gift, he probably still wouldn’t have. 

“You didn’t have to,” John began, feeling awkward and trying his best to hide it. 

“Yeah, I know, but I just... I never really told you, but I feel like shit for what I did to you. It wasn’t cool and-” John scoffed, crossing his arms defensively. He’d tried to put that behind him. “Nobody deserves that, not even you.”

Sharky rounded the table and shoved his hands in his hoodie. John stayed rooted in place even if he felt like backing out of the room and never having this conversation again.

“Look, man- _John_ , I’m sorry for what I did. If I could take it back, if I knew then what would happen-”

“What then? Would you have left me to die in some field?”

“Nah man, if I knew, I would’ve still brought you home but not like that. You wouldn’t have been my prisoner, I would have told Joseph you were still alive. I shouldn’t have done that shit. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.”

John watched him carefully, scanning his eyes and his body for any traces of lies. It was what his talent, after all. Sharky was as sincere as they came, and John wasn’t sure what to do with that information. 

“You tied me to a radiator, you didn’t feed me, you burned bodies in front of me, and worst of all, you kept me alive so that I’d have to live with the knowledge that my family had already mourned me. Do you have any idea how _fucked_ up that is?” John raised his voice and began gesturing wildly as he inched back towards the door. “I kept your fucking secret. I never told Joseph what you put me through. He thinks you’re my _friend_.” 

Sharky said nothing. John was right in every way and there was nothing to argue. They had both fallen into false security, burying their memories under the stress and fear of the end. 

John had one hand on the door when Sharky pulled him back.“Don’t touch me!”

“Okay, okay, I won’t. Are you... are you going to tell him?” 

John laughed darkly, the sound making Sharky just as anxious as Joseph finding out the truth.“Oh, you’re so scared, aren’t you?” John let the door go and turned to him. “I wonder what he would do. Gouge out your eyes? Stab you until there’s nothing left? My brother is a patient man but he can also be a cruel man.”

He paused and observed the way Sharky panicked with every fibre of his being. He sighed deeply.

“But I won’t tell him. Not because I give a shit about you, because I don’t, but because my brother has suffered enough and so have I. Your secret is safe.”

“Thank you,” Sharky mumbled, reaching out for John before he remembered not to touch him. “I am sorry.”

“You’d be a worse man than me if you weren’t.”

John left at last, the cold of the hallway cleansing him as he took steadying breaths and tried to forget that awful week. In the end, he went to go seek Joseph’s company and prayed the nightmares didn’t plague him again.

\---

Rook was still adjusting the wreath he’d stolen from an attic when Joseph encouraged him to go to sleep. They were alone in the living room, John had left early and said he wanted some peace and quiet. Sharky had only emerged to eat a quick bite before returning to his workshop. No one else used it but him at this point. 

Joseph cupped a hand over Rook’s hip as he tried to climb the couch reach the nail. Rook stopped immediately and clambered down, bouncing on the old leather. They watched each other, wondering who would make the first move.

“Remember that time we fell asleep on this couch?” Rook mused, extending his legs over Joseph’s lap like a housecat. The other simply lifted his book and rested it on Rook’s knees. 

“I do. That was the night we heard your friend on the radio.”

Rook smiled at the memory. “Yeah but I meant before that. Was anything going to happen that night? I remember what you said about forgiveness and then we cuddled.”

“I had no other plans except to comfort you. I still don’t. Today was not expected. I just acted without thought.”

“Do you regret it? We can stop before we start anything. It’s up to you.” 

Joseph shook his head and smiled softly, his hand stroking Rook’s leg. “No, I don’t. I’ll be honest; whatever this is, what it might become, I’m just as clueless as you are. Perhaps we’ll realise that we’re not meant for each other that way.”

“And if we are?” 

“Then I hope I make you a happy partner.”

Rook tried not to laugh but it wasn’t a harmful sound. Sometimes Joseph just surprised him beyond words and Rook couldn’t react accordingly. He pulled his legs away and curled up close, letting Joseph drape an arm over his shoulders protectively. 

“You’re such a fucking sap. I hope you know that.”

Rook closed his eyes and felt Joseph lean closer until he pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. He hummed contently and wrapped an arm around Joseph’s waist, drawing him nearer. 

He woke up feeling his body swaying gently. He turned into the warmth of Joseph’s chest and it took him a moment to understand he was being carried. The door to his room came into view and Rook brought his head up.

“Not there... Wanna stay with you tonight,” he mumbled loud enough for Joseph to hear. 

“Are you sure? You know I share the room with John.”

“Who cares? He’s gotta find out at some point. Let me sleep with you. Please.” Rook pawed at his shirt like a kitten and Joseph couldn’t resist. He saw the second door and let himself be draped on the small bunk barely big enough for two.

The brothers were exchanging hushed words, John clearly confused at the Deputy’s presence. Rook missed whatever Joseph said, too busy burying himself in the sheets. He’d almost dozed off when Joseph laid down beside him, and shuffled into his open arms with a hum.

\---

Rook felt so warm but in a good way. It was the type of warmth he’d refuse to move away from. Since he had no job to get to, he curled closer. Joseph made a small noise and Rook’s eyes snapped open. He stared at Joseph’s sleeping face for ages, expecting it all to be a dream, but he soon realised he was being a little creepy and he was quite awake.

Joseph’s hair was fanned across the pillow and it was beginning to irritate Rook’s cheek. He pushed the strands away and checked over Joseph’s shoulder to where John was sleeping. The Baptist was the human embodiment of a burrito and there was no way he was going to see anything with the blanket over his head. Rook wasn’t quite sure how he was able to breath but his chest was rising and falling normally so he didn’t waste more than a second worrying. 

Settling back on the pillow, he observed Joseph’s relaxed face. The frowns were gone and he looked truly relaxed. Rook wasn’t sure how he’d gotten himself in this mess but as he watched the preacher sleep, he didn’t mind the turn his life had taken. It wasn’t what he’d pictured. If someone had asked him what he thought his late twenties would look like, the last thing he would have said would be in the bed of a cult leader in some nuclear bunker in Montana, and _yet_. 

Joseph made a soft sound and Rook blinked, emerging from his thoughts. He smiled. This wasn’t such a bad place to be.

It was also Christmas day. 

Rook couldn’t hold in his excitement and he gently shook Joseph’s shoulder, rousing him as kindly as he could considering he was bursting with energy all of a sudden. Joseph groaned and cracked an eye open, looking rather like a grumpy old man. 

“It’s Christmas,” Rook stated in a stage whisper, grinning. Joseph huffed and couldn’t help returning it with his own sleepy smile. 

“So, it is. Did you buy me something nice?”

“I did see this one pink lingerie set, all lacy and sheer- I'm _joking_ , Jesus- sorry, force of habit. But you’re really red, is that normal?” Rook tried to keep his laughs quiet for John’s sake as Joseph blushed bright red and hide under the blanket like an embarrassed teen.

“I fear you’re beyond God’s help if you truly got me that.” The words came out muffled and Rook held a hand to his mouth to stop wheezing. 

“No, I swear I didn’t. Get back up here. If John sees us like this, he’s not gonna think pure thoughts.” Joseph emerged, slightly less red but very much dishevelled. Rook took his face between his hands. “I got you a blue one to match your eyes.” 

Joseph dropped his head into the pillow, groaning in emotional pain from having to deal with Rook on a daily basis. Especially now that there was no filter, Rook was hell-bent on flirting. 

“Do you think I’ll go to Hell for picturing a priest in women’s lingerie?”

The muffled groan sounded like a yes. 

“Come on, let’s get up. I did genuinely get you a present and I'm not giving it to you in bed. At least, not the one I wrapped up.” Rook winked as Joseph brought his head up. He jumped out of bed and looked over to John. Yep, still comatose. “Could you wake him? He’ll probably bite my hand if I try.”

Joseph rolled his eyes but made no argument as he stood and gently woke the mass of blankets. After what looked like a sped-up butterfly emerging from its cocoon, John peeked his head up. 

“Yeah?”

“Rook wants us up. Get dressed.”

John groaned but did as ordered, yanking a hoodie over his head and pushing his hair out of his eyes roughly. He frowned at Rook for a moment before remembering the night before. 

“You slept with my brother,” he blurted, looking between the two culprits. 

“Guilty.”

“Nothing happened,” Joseph reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I would have told you. We slept beside each other and that was all.”

“Is that all this is?” John was still watching them both. 

“No but you’ll be the first to know.”

“Technically, he’d be the third,” Rook jumped in with a grin. “Now, if you’re done updating your brother on your relationship status, we have presents to open. Let’s go.” 

Rook didn’t wait for the brothers to keep up. He went straight to his room to wake Sharky, batting away his questions about where Rook slept with the promise to let him know _after_ they’d opened presents. He was really eager. 

\---

John sat on the couch, crowded into the corner by Rook’s sharp knees as the Deputy tried to fit them all on. He observed the way he interacted with Joseph, noting the lingering touches that hadn’t been there a few days ago. Whatever had happened between the two had gone under John’s radar. His brother was smiling and seemed to be enjoying the attention, but John wanted to wait before he agreed to any of this. Rook was a strange man, prone to randomness, and John wouldn’t let him hurt Joseph.

Lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t noticed Sharky had sat opposite him on the armchair. Rook was chatting excitedly about the holidays, bursting with an energy he’d never seen in him before. There was enough for all of them to share. Joseph had accepted it with an honest smile, letting himself relax and enjoy the moment. John pondered on that until he realised it would be so much easier just to give in, even for one day, and forget the turns their lives had taken.

“John, you know I said I got you something?” Sharky said, dragging John into a conversation against his will. He nodded stiffly. “Well, here. I hope you like it.”

Sharky picked up a small box from the floor where Rook had insisted they put their gifts, and held it out for John. He hesitated with the group’s eyes on him but took it gently, nearly dropping it from the unexpected weight. 

“Open it!” Rook cheered as if the box should have already been opened after a couple seconds of exchanging hands. John held back an impatient sigh and pulled off the lid.

Lying on top of some balled up kitchen roll was a metal plane. John held it up to the light, admiring the lines where the metal had joined together. It was messily made, like Sharky had never worked with something so small, but as John rested it in his palm, the little wheels digging in, he decided he’d never let any harm come to it. 

“Do you like it?” Sharky asked after a minute, when John had made no noise and kept staring at it. “I don’t know if I got all the bits right but I know you like planes...”

John looked up, tracing a finger down the body and up the sharp tail. “I like it very much. Thank you.”

It took a second for the words to make sense to Sharky, as if he hadn’t expected something nice to come from John, but then he burst into a big grin and laughed.John kept the plane in his hands, the metal slowly warming to his touch as he poked and stroked the little details. He tried not to think about his baby, locked up tight in the hangar of his ranch. He hoped Rook and the resistance had left it alone.

“Dep, I made you something special too. Just gimme a sec, I left it in the workshop.” Sharky ran out and came back a minute later holding something far too large and bulky to be wrapped. 

He passed it carefully into Rook’s awaiting arms with a grin. “Custom-made.”

Rook held up the flame-thrower with a giddy excitement, playing with the red bow tied to the nozzle. The brothers shared a worried look. Without warning, Rook handed it over to Joseph so he could stand and drag his friend into a long hug. 

“I love it, man. Thank you.” Rook pulled away and glanced at Joseph, who held the weapon awkwardly and without grace. “Don’t worry, I know it’s going with the rest of the weapons.”

“Yes, it is,” Joseph agreed, saying it more for himself than Rook. He leaned it against the side of the couch, pushing the threatening nozzle away from him even if the tank was empty and the weapon no more than a cumbersome club to hit people with rather than burn them.

Gifts exchanged hands quickly and it was clear that the Seed brothers had not lifted a finger. From Sharky’s perspective, he had no qualms about that. Whatever the Seeds would have given him probably wouldn’t be something he’d want anyway. Rook knew him better and the lighter he received with his and Rook’s initials carved into it with a knife meant far more to him than Rook could possibly imagine. 

Sharky’s crafting skills only involved fire and metal. The smaller his project, the harder it was, but the cross he’d given to Joseph wasn’t the worst thing he’d made. A regular cross, not the Eden’s Gate cross. No way would he bring himself to make that. It was cheesy, he knew that. A simple necklace with some leather cord he’d found in a drawer. But it was the only thing that came to mind when he thought of Joseph. He didn’t know the man well enough. Joseph took it with a smile, no hint of disappointed in his eyes, and slipped it over his head, letting the metal rest just below his collarbones.

That was Sharky done. 

It finally came time for Rook to grab things from the pile. He’d had the chance to go up top and grab whatever he could find, knowing if he tried to make something it would break before the glue set. And he wasn’t about to make anyone some crayon-coloured cards with a wonky tree on the front like he’d given his parents when he was a kid. The cards were probably still in the attic back home.

John was first; handed a box of cosmetics only a self-obsessed man like him would cradle like a child in relief. He ignored the chuckles and held up the hair gel dramatically, clutching his heart only because it made Rook bend over in half laughing and crying. He bumped Rook’s elbow to get his attention and gave him that little secret smile.

Joseph watched it all, enjoying his brother’s fun. Rook’s idea of celebrating wasn’t the worst he’d had. There was one more gift on the ground, wrapped in newspaper and string. It wasn’t very heavy, Joseph realised when Rook handed it over carefully, and he could feel several pieces moving about.

He pulled the string and moved the paper aside, refusing to rip it even when faced with an ad for a retirement home and an old lady grinning with too few teeth. He waited a moment just to see Rook get anxious and over-excited. The man was like a puppy, an impressive feat considering his height and muscled build even with the forced diet. 

Finally, even he got too impatient and took the last few sheets off the top. A journal greeted him, thick and filled with lined pages ready to be used. A couple of pens rolled out onto his lap. He looked up at Rook with a confused frown and a smile, trying not to seem rude but all the while asking why.

“I was thinking you could use it to write a second book,” Rook began, stumbling under the scrutinising stare. “About us and how we survived, or something. I don’t know, it’s yours. You do whatever you want with it.” Rook stopped rambling, a flush creeping up his neck and cheeks. 

“Thank you. It’s a very thoughtful gift.” 

Joseph leaned into him and Rook readied himself for a hug or something neutral, but Joseph’s lips pressed against his cheek and it was _not_ a neutral exchange. The room fell even quieter and Rook could feel the eyes on him, asking why and what the hell just happened? He knew his face was redder than the lights above him. Joseph pulled back, like what he did was totally normal. 

Rook dared to look at Sharky. The pyromaniac’s eyes were blown wide open, shock scrawled across his face as he tried to form words and couldn’t get the sound out. John was dealing slightly better but only because he’d already had a heart attack earlier that morning. 

“Well, okay, then,” Sharky finally said, clapping his knees. It snapped John out of his own trance. “You... uh, you got something you want to tell me, Dep?”

“No, uh, not really.” Rook saw Joseph out of the corner of his eye. It had dawned on the cultist that maybe he shouldn’t have done that in front of everyone else. 

“Okay, well, how about you, Joseph?”

It was the first time anyone had seen Joseph so embarrassed and lost for words. Rook would have taken a picture if he could, framed it and put it over the mantle. He looked to Rook for help and then to John, both unable to come up with anything smart.

“I don’t... know what to say.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Well, at least somebody’s getting laid.” And then Sharky dropped it, never judging. Perhaps his choice in the person but not the gender, and Rook was grateful Sharky knew to keep his nose out of his business.

\---

Although Rook had brought the decorations in, as well as set them up, he still felt the need to help out when Joseph offered lunch. It took some convincing but Joseph agreed to let everyone eat just a bit more today as an exception. It wasn’t a feast. Nothing like the three tables pushed together from the dining room to the kitchen in Rook’s childhood home to fit all his distant relatives, covered in several tablecloths and many, many mismatched chairs. 

But it was something and Rook couldn’t complain when he actually felt full by the time he put his fork down. What he left on his plate, because, _yes_ , they were eating off plates for once, John ate eagerly and without much asking to begin with.

Afterwards, they didn’t move much. Sharky took the armchair, wordlessly claiming it as his throne. John sprawled himself over the couch with a book and Rook had to lift his long legs to sit beside him, enjoying the comfortable quiet that had settled over them. He glanced at the little plane next to the reading light and smiled. He had no clue Sharky would even bother but from what he could tell, things were better between him and the Seeds. Mostly because Joseph kept John in check. Rook could see the cord hanging from Joseph’s neck as he wrote in the notebook and that also made him smile. Everyone was just having a really good day.

He closed his eyes and leaned back, unwilling to move. It had been months since his stomach felt so full and with the soft, dim lights it was the perfect condition to take a short nap. An arm landed across his shoulders and John pulled him down against his side like a blanket. He arranged it so that Rook’s head had to rest on his chest or keep itself upright. In the end, the ache in his neck made Rook move. John was possessive, draping the arm not used to turn pages to hold Rook down, but Rook was too content to bother examining the meaning. He threw an arm over John, a bit too heavily because he heard a soft wince, and got comfortable, inhaling the citrus scent of soap and the washing powder still clinging to John’s shirt. Even during the apocalypse, John refused to resort to sweatshirts or anything loose and comfortable like a normal person.

Rook cast one look at Joseph, finding him nose-deep in his journal, and then to Sharky, who was watching him back with a curious raised brow. Yeah, one Seed had kissed him and now he was cuddling the other. Of course Sharky thought it was weird, and it was sudden too. Perhaps Rook owed him an explanation but not in that moment, when John felt like the world’s comfiest and warmest body pillow. He closed his eyes.

There were voices, far from his mind and muffled as he slowly woke. He was smothered by heat and weight, his body desperate to cling to sleep and just carry on dreaming about thoughtless things that slipped through his fingers when he tried to remember. He recognised Joseph’s voice first, low and calm and lulling him into a half-state of awareness. The man could talk him to sleep, in a good way. Sharky floated through in a less-calm way, like he was measuring his words carefully which was something Sharky was not known for, nor any good at. He often had to backtrack to reiterate points and avoid getting punched.

“I just want to know what you’re doing,” Sharky insisted. Rook could picture him gesturing and begging to know, whatever it was he wanted.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, Mr Boshaw. What Rook and I are doing doesn’t concern you.”

“Uh, _yeah_ , it _does_. He’s my best friend. Look, I don’t care if you’re boning him. I just want Rook to be okay with this, he needs to realise what he’s getting into with you. And him.” 

There was pause and Rook heard a rumble under his ear as John replied, “I’m not involved in this.”

“Getting into?” Joseph sounded angry, tempered well but Rook could feel the stress in his voice.

“Yeah, a cult leader who killed people.”

“We have all killed people,” John interrupted. It didn’t help.

“Rook was defending himself. I don’t want him to get hurt or worse, brainwashed by you and your brother.”

“Again, I’m not involved.” John was promptly ignored and Rook knew he was pouting. He could feel it.

Rook wasn’t getting back to sleep any time soon, so he pulled his head up from the crook of John’s neck and looked at the two arguing. His hair was a mess, standing at impossible angles and one cheek red from the heat of the Baptist’s skin against his own for however long he’d nuzzled him.

“Would you please shut up?” He asked, getting their attention efficiently. “Sharky, I love you man, but you don’t know everything. Joseph and I get along really well and he’s not sneaking around trying to convert me with the power of his holy dick.”

Joseph blushed hard and John snickered beneath him. 

“Sharky, let’s talk about this. Just the two of us, okay?” Rook pushed himself further up and climbed over John’s legs, wobbling on the spot before he took his friend’s hand and guided him away from the Seeds and any further conflict. It was Christmas day, goddammit, and Rook was not going to tolerate arguments.

He sat on his bed as Sharky paced, took off his cap and ruffled his hair before stuffing it back on. 

“Joseph? Really?”

“Yeah.”

Sharky sighed and threw his arms down at his side. “The dude is crazy. Are you really that desperate? I mean, come on.”

“Would you rather it was John?” Rook wasn’t as opposed to the idea once it rolled off his tongue. He shook his head, because _that_ was desperate.

Something flashed across Sharky’s face before he shut it down. Rook still saw it and it looked like a mix of anger and jealousy. He wasn’t about to try and search for meaning in that look.“No, I’d rather it was neither of them. Look, if you need to blow some steam... I’m not really into guys but I’ll do it for you. Whatever you want.”

Rook laughed until the intensity of Sharky’s stare was too much. He was entirely serious. It was sweet, deep down, but Rook needed to pass. 

“It’s not about that. Well, a little, but I just want to try. We haven’t even kissed, man.”

“What?” 

“Really, we haven’t even started anything yet. I know it seems like a lot all of a sudden but it isn’t. We talked about it yesterday and we both wanted to see where it would go.”

Sharky sat down beside him and pulled his cap off again, twisting and wringing it in his hands. “I thought you were keeping it from me, that you didn’t trust me or something.”

“Hell no, I just didn’t get a change to tell you before he did... _that_. I was just as surprised as you, and I think he was as well. If it goes further, I’ll tell you. I promise, but for now, there’s not much to tell.”

“Okay, I... I’m sorry I overreacted. You know I care about you, I just really don’t want you to get hurt.”

Rook pulled him into a hug. It was easier than words. When they pulled away, that confused look that had haunted Sharky’s face had gone. 

“So... you made John a tiny plane. Something you wanna say about that?”

“I wanted it to be a peace offering. He hasn’t forgiven me, we talked about it yesterday and he was... He won’t forgive me and to be honest, he’s right.”

“You know he loves that plane, right?” 

Rook remembered how John never let go of it until lunch was served and even how his eyes strayed to it once he left it on the side. Sharky let a little smile grace his lips, chuckling softly.

“I hope so. Spent ages on it. Hope you like yours.”

“I’m gonna burn so much shit with it,” Rook promised. Sharky grinned at the mention of fiery destruction, that flame in him relighting after their chat. Rook had always been taught it was best to be honest and truthful, and with how dependent and mistrusting Sharky could be it was best to keep him updated. Even when it felt like a chore. Rook supposed that was how friendships worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much development, so much flirting. I told you we'd get there some day!!


	10. It's not a sin if you ignore it hard enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for. It's here after 10 chapters.

They expanded their search into Holland valley, taking the bridge and walking all the way to the border. The land wasn’t as scorched and trees had survived where the flames had been stopped by the river. Still it was silent as the animals had yet to return.Rook knew they would. Eventually. They were braver than he was and the suit reminded him just how careful he had to be.

Joseph tagged along, the bag on his shoulders filled with water and food for their trip. They weren’t coming back right away. The walk took out most of a day with all their stops and looting. They had to find shelter before nightfall and then their work could truly begin.

John had mentioned the bunkers in his region, ones used by locals and Peggies. Even if his own had been destroyed, much thanks to Rook as he reminded with a glare, the likelihood of people seeking shelter past the river was greater. The radio couldn’t reach out very far, not with the towers melted and the electricity on backup power. Rook had to consider others might not have access to a radio so it landed on him to reach out and find survivors.

Maybe he couldn’t do much for them, with Dutch's bunker quite full already and with two Seeds. Most locals would probably choose to run into the irradiated fields than join them underground. Rook couldn’t blame them. He would have done the same months ago before the bombs.

“Rook? I found something,” Joseph called out from outside an old farmhouse. The inside was wrecked but he still found a few useful pieces to carry.

Rook followed his voice to the garden where a garage was built, the door shoved up and opened. Joseph smacked the hood of a Jeep, dusty but undamaged. He was grinning beneath the mask.

“Well?”

“Not bad. Want to do the honours?” 

Joseph climbed into the driver's seat and looked around for the keys, finding them tucked in the glove box along with a yellowed manual and candy wrappers. He turned the key and the engine grumbled, sputtering loudly before steadying. Joseph beckoned him.

Rook sat beside him and glanced at the dials. A full tank. He laughed.

“Guess this makes our trip a lot easier.”

Joseph pulled out onto the road and by the end of the day, the trunk was filled with enough supplies for an entire month. Provided they kept rationing. 

Night fell quickly and Rook realised with a bit of shock that he hadn’t seen the moon in over four months. It was going on five soon. He stared up through the window as Joseph drove, the preacher humming quietly and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. 

Rook hadn’t noticed the roads Joseph was taking, not until they passed a familiar sign. Rye and Sons. 

“Where are you taking us?” He asked even though he knew full well where the car was going. Joseph kept his eyes on the road.

“The ranch. When John bought the place, I insisted he make preparations. Just in case the larger bunkers weren’t ready in time.”

“I never noticed,” Rook admits, because he went through that wooden mansion with a fine toothcomb and weeded out everything cult related. He had found disturbing files on the locals in John's office and burned them after a careful read. 

“It's hidden in the basement. John had to extend the house underground. There’s enough space for the whole family and more.”

“And you want to loot it?”

“No. I want to sleep there tonight. It’s the safest place for miles and we won’t need the suits.”

The ranch came into view, standing proudly like it was made for postcards. Greetings from Hope County. The trees bristled loudly as the wind picked up. Joseph drove to the hangar and waited until Rook had pried the doors open to keep the car safe. Rook didn’t think anyone had followed them but a car made noise and considering the state of the land, people would definitely take interest. John's plane sat quietly under a large tarp. Rook almost wanted to get in and fly away. Instead, he pushed boxes out of the way so the Jeep could squeeze in. Joseph struggled to get out and had to climb over one wing and squat underneath. Rook closed the doors after them, planning to thank John for not making everything reliant on electricity. 

They left through a side door and Joseph led the way through the house, pausing in the main room. Rook let him. It must have been difficult but Joseph shook it off and took a path down through the hallway. Close to the kitchen was a linen closet filled with folded sheets, a vacuum and ironing board. All things John would never touch.

Rook had known about it but Joseph pulled the stuff out, setting them against the wall. What he didn’t know about was that the back of the closet was fake. Of course it was. John was dramatic and what was more dramatic than a hidden passageway?

Joseph shined his torch down the stairs. There was a door at the bottom and Joseph opened it, stepping into a large basement. 

“The previous owners had a lot of junk so they kept it down here. John used it for our cause. Extra guns, ammunitions, even a panic room if it came down to that,” Joseph explained as he illuminated all the tables and crates and shelves filled with the things he described. It was a mini armoury.

“And that’s what we're here for?”

“Not quite. This was for our followers. Those we trusted the most were told about this place. I suppose none of them made it in time.” 

Rook heard remorse in his words. “Wait, were you expecting someone down here?”

“It crossed my mind but the closet was untouched. There’s no one here. I promise. This is the only way in.”

Joseph walked to a door along the far wall. It was made of metal, far sturdier than the one at the bottom of the stairs. A keypad was next to it and Rook heard the buttons beep as Joseph entered the code. The door released with a hiss. Heavy duty hydraulics. John wasn’t messing around. 

“Are you coming? It’s perfectly safe.” 

Rook followed, glancing back at the stairway. No one was there. The dark was making him nervous. He’d been sheltered for too long. 

\---

John's private bunker was nothing like the ones Rook had blown up. It was lush, pure comfort in mind. Joseph let him get acquainted with the new surroundings and simply enjoyed the shock painted on Rook's face. They showered off their suits and John had built a special decontamination room just for it. Far superior to the one back home. Rook never felt cleaner. 

Joseph didn’t so much as give him a tour. He told Rook to let his curiosity seize him and turned the generators on, including the heating. The walls were lined with wood, much like upstairs, and the lights were soft. He could hardly hear the hum of the power or the vents spinning unlike the noisy clunking he had grown used to.

The living room was immense. A sprawling space with large leather couches and books lining the shelves. A fireplace had been built in the centre, logs stacked in a basket close by. Rook wanted to lie down in front of the fire but he kept going.There were too many rooms and Joseph was serious when he'd said it was large enough for quite a few people. 

The stock rooms were packed and Rook had never seen so much variety of canned food. The kitchen looked like it had been taken out of a restaurant, enormous and professional and Rook didn’t know what to do with half of the equipment. He couldn’t quite understand why Joseph had wanted them to live with their followers when _this_ existed.

He must have been snooping around for over an hour, glancing at the underground hotel. At this point, he was convinced he could spend the rest of his life here and never get bored. As long as Joseph was with him. 

The preacher had disappeared to relearn the layout. Rook was too busy to seek him out. 

He came upon the sleeping area. A whole new section of the paradise John had constructed. He counted ten rooms, half of which were shared by two or three beds depending on the size. They were all luxurious. Each with their own heaters, vents, plush beds and the nicest ones had private bathrooms. With actual baths instead of showers. 

Rook had no idea how much energy would be required to power something this big but he guessed it was a lot. Maybe it was renewable. 

He got lonely along the way and for all the wonderful things he kept finding, he wanted to share it with Joseph. He found him in a room he'd skipped over. It was similar to the surveillance room in Dutch’s bunker but far more tech-y and upgraded. The camera feeds were coloured and there were better radios stacked against a wall. 

“Hey,” Rook greeted, only startling Joseph a bit. He leaned against the desk, close to him. “So, this place is heaven. I haven’t even finished yet.”

“John likes the finer things in life. If he were to be trapped down here, it would be on his terms.”

“Joseph, I was thinking... When we run out of supplies back home, do you think we could move here? I mean, we could take it all back with us, make a couple trips, but this place has enough for all of us.”

Joseph looked away from the screens and took Rook's hand between his own with a smile. 

“You want to move here?”

“I think it would be good. For all of us. We'd have space, privacy, and a lot more comfort than now. I like our bunker but this is better. As long as we can maintain it. Seems like a lot of power to run this place.”

“Yes but John had plenty of money. The generators are powered by the water turbines by the river and solar energy, and parts of the bunker can be shut down to conserve. If you'd like to move here, I’ll support your decision.”

Rook leaned down and kissed Joseph softly, surprising the man. Joseph smiled into it, making a soft noise as he moved his lips against Rook's. He could stay like this forever.But Rook pulled away after a bit, running his tongue over his red lips. 

“That was nice,” he commented gently, reaching out to drag a hand through Joseph's long hair.

“Agreed. I think we should get dinner out of the way. I’m not sure I’ll be able to focus on anything other than your soft lips.”

Joseph grabbed his hand and kissed the palm, standing up carefully. He loomed over Rook and pressed their lips together, firmer this time and Rook moaned, melted into it and spread his legs so Joseph could stand closer. 

“Yeah, let’s eat quick. I’m pretty sure I want to spend the night kissing you senseless.”

\---

Joseph took him to his room, the one actually assigned to him. John had decked it out with more books than were in Dutch’s bunker. Photos of their family were framed on the walls and desk, and an Eden’s Gate flag hung behind the bed. 

Rook froze and stared at it. Joseph followed his gaze and without a word, he climbed onto the bed and unhooked it from the nails. He folded it carefully and tucked it into a drawer. Out of sight, out of mind.

“Thanks,” Rook mumbled and closed the door behind him. Joseph glanced up as the door clicked shut and he flicked a smile.

“Anything to make you comfortable.”

Rook sat on the bed, bouncing a little to test the springs. It made little noise, the wood creaking from its lack of use. Everything was covered in a fine layer of dust but overall it was clean. He looked up at Joseph and extended his hand, drawing the preacher closer so he stood between his spread knees.

“Let’s take this slow,” Joseph said against his lips, kissing him softly. He leaned closer and climbed into Rook’s lap, cradling his sides. Rook placed his hands on his waist, holding him tight as Joseph sat above him and kissed him passionately. 

They shared soft moans. Rook couldn’t stop trailing his hands over Joseph's back, tangling in his hair, pulling him closer into the kiss. His nails scratched through the shirt and he took them over Joseph's chest, massaging the warm flesh and teasing what he could reach. Joseph gasped when Rook pinched a nipple, rubbing it under his thumb. He fumbled with the buttons and Joseph wrestled his shirt off, trying to be quick so he could continue to touch Rook. 

Rook smiled with appreciation, pushing Joseph back so he could admire the long stretch of tattooed and scarred skin. He brushed a hand downwards; dipping into his sharp collarbones, along the twin birds below, caressing the raised scars from a lifetime ago, and across the LUST carved into his belly. He grasped Joseph's deep valley-like hips and the cultist sighed softly when Rook squeezed. 

“You sound so pretty when you make noises like that,” Rook said lowly as he kissed his chest. Joseph ducked his head, flushing red. “I’m going to make sure I hear every little moan and sigh and gasp.”

He craned his neck, forcing Joseph to meet him into another kiss. He trailed his lips along his throat, biting what he could reach and leaving little red marks down to his shoulders. Joseph was practically trembling in his lap, hips rolling gently with need. Rook dug his nails into his back, scratching down bluntly to make the cultist squirm. He could feel his hardness when Joseph leaned into him and pushed up his hips.

“You like this, don’t you?”Joseph nodded, gasping sharply when Rook licked at a nipple and sucked it hard into his mouth. “Use your words, Joseph. We both know how much you like talking.” 

“Yes... I love it. Please don’t stop.” 

“I don’t plan to.” 

Rook kissed across his chest to the other nip, lavishing it with long licks and bites. He pulled away and looped an arm around Joseph, grabbing him firmly and twisting him onto the bed. Joseph laughed softly, reflexively spreading his legs to accommodate Rook's body over his. He held onto Rook and pulled at his shirt.Rook sat up and yanked it off without much care. It landed somewhere on the floor with a clink of plastic buttons on hardwood. 

Joseph took him back into his arms, chest to chest, as he kissed him over and over again, smiling softly. Rook could only know how needy his partner's body was because he'd felt it pressed against his own. Looking at Joseph now, he was content enough with just kissing. Rook wasn’t. 

He let Joseph take his fill, enjoying the attention but craving far more than a press of lips against his own. Sitting back up, he grabbed at Joseph's belt and roughly pulled his hips up into his lap. Joseph groaned and covered his mouth, clearly not meaning to make that noise, but Rook heard it. He smiled with too many teeth. The preacher's eyes widened at the sight but it wasn’t fear. No, _anticipation_.

“Never thought you'd be the type who enjoyed being under another man, _Father_.” Rook leaned over him, bending Joseph nearly in half as he hooked his legs around the Deputy's waist. He shuddered at that word.

“Depends who's on top,” Joseph admitted, his hands balling in the sheets after straying too close to his own belt. 

“I thought you preached against lust.” Rook chose a dangerous path, one he had to navigate carefully or Joseph might call the whole thing off. He traced the outline of his hardness through the jeans, applying pressure until Joseph gasped and bucked his hips, eyes fluttering shut.

“It is only a sin if it is done without love.”

Rook stopped and Joseph groaned irritably. He opened his eyes and looked at Rook, realisation dawning on him.

“I only meant-“

“I care about you too,” Rook interrupted, silencing Joseph's confusion with a soft kiss. Their lips lingering close and brushing each other. “I have for a while.”

“I’m glad we can share this, then. That it isn’t just lust consuming us.”

Rook pulled back with a smile. “Well, I am feeling pretty lusty.” He rolled his hips down into Joseph, making a show of how needy he was after their making out and groping. The preacher groaned, his thighs trembling as they squeezed around Rook. 

“Me too.”

“Let's do something about that, hmm?” 

Rook grabbed at Joseph's belt and unbuckled it, unzipping his jeans and pulling the rest of his clothes quickly. He stared at Joseph's long body with a suggestive smile and stripped himself off. 

He laid down beside him and let Joseph climb on top. His hands roamed everywhere and his mouth left bites and bruises, payback for Rook's roughness earlier. He rested his body on Rook's, lining themselves up as he grabbed their cocks in one hand. He couldn’t close his fingers all the way around but Rook sighed in bliss anyways. The Deputy glanced down and admired the nice, long length over his. He added his own hand, stroking Joseph where he could reach.

“You’ve got a really nice cock.” 

Joseph blushed, stopped in his tracks, and if Rook were to guess, he’d say no one had every told him that. He meant it and his hand conveyed his feelings.

“You do too.” Joseph leaned closer, holding himself up on one elbow and brushed his cheek against Rook's. “I’d like to know what it tastes like. If you'd let me.”

Rook twitched at the thought and he nodded enthusiastically. Joseph smiled shyly. He had never done this before but he was willing to learn for Rook's sake. He moved back to lie further down the bed and took the cock in hand, letting his tongue drag from the base up to the wet tip. The taste was strange, sweet and nothing like he'd tried before. Certainly nothing like a woman. Rook threaded a hand through his long hair, tugging him down and encouraging him to take the head into his mouth.

He let Rook guide him, learned what licks and alternating pressure gave him the best view and moans. Rook liked broad licks, like something wild and wet was desperate to get him off. Joseph's mouth was abused and his hair tangled and there was hunger in his eyes begging for more. He could tell Rook was close even if he'd never witnessed him come apart. His breaths became quicker, sucking in air that he forgot to breathe in. The moans he let out were higher in pitch, desperate and music to Joseph's ears. Rook looked like the very picture of Lust, limbs trembling and hands torn between gripping the sheets and Joseph's hair, skin flushed red and sweat-dampened. But he sounded ethereal. 

Joseph let him use his mouth however he wanted, simply enjoying the sensations and riding his own waves of pleasure. He tried hard not to grind into the sheets, his cock thrumming and aching until it was impossible to ignore. Still, he wanted Rook to orgasm first. 

“I’m so close... oh fuck, Joseph. Get up here. I want to jerk us off together. Please, please.” Rook begged so nicely. Joseph licked him one last longing time, earning a shaky moan, and pulled himself back up.

He groaned deep in his throat as Rook wrapped a hand around his heavy cock, palm slick with spit and precum. Rook's cock was so wet, sliding against his own. The friction was too much all at once. Joseph bit his lips, trying to hold off, and looked at Rook's beautiful face. They locked eyes and Joseph rushed to kiss him.

Rook came apart with the loveliest, loudest moan. His back arched and he pressed himself against Joseph, kissing him hard and then sloppily as he drifted. Joseph followed a few seconds after, gasping Rook's name and allowing the Deputy to watch him fall over the edge with a soft smile. He glanced down after he regained his breath and saw they had both cum over each other, so much on their bellies and cocks. Joseph groaned at the sight, aroused so easily despite riding the after shocks that rolled through him. 

He collapsed beside Rook, laughing gently as Rook immediately latched to his side and refused to give him much space. 

“That was...”

“Amazing. Best orgasm I’ve had in years. Oh fuck, I want to push it to two but there’s no way I can. Maybe in a couple hours.”

Joseph laughed louder, rubbing Rook’s back. He couldn't go again. Not for a while. He didn’t have the stamina of the twenty-something year old tucked next to him.

“I agree with everything you just said. But we should clean up. We're both very... wet.” 

Rook nodded but made no move to stand up. 

“There’s a bathtub through that door. The water will run hot.”

Rook brought his head up quicker than a dog offered a treat. He looked so eager, that soft glow around his eyes setting into determination. Joseph sat up and frowned at the cool mess on his chest, and walked over to the bathroom.

Rook watched him go, eyes fixed on his ass without shame. The water splashed in the tub and steam began to drift out of the doorway, inviting him to get off the bed. 

\---

Joseph sat on the edge of the tub, dangling his fingers in the water. Rook didn’t try hard to keep his eyes focused elsewhere. 

“Would you care to join me? Or do this separately?”

“You do know taking a bath together is a seriously romantic thing, right?” Rook approached, testing the temperature for himself. It really was hot. Way hotter than back home. 

“I never considered it that way. Is that a no?”

“Get in, Joseph.”

Rook climbed in, wincing as it burned his skin but the heat slowly relaxed his muscles. He hasn’t had a bath for a long time and showers never eased him quite like a long soak. Joseph watched him with a gentle smile and slowly joined him on the opposite side, closing his eyes as he stretched his legs beside Rook. The tub was more than large enough for them to be comfortable. Rook never felt more grateful to John but thanking him meant telling him about his time with Joseph, and John probably didn’t want to hear about his brother's sex life. 

He was focusing on John too much. He missed Joseph lie back and rest his arms on either side, looking more relaxed than Rook had seen him in a while. Boy was he glad he went on trips with him.

“This is nice,” Rook said softly, grabbing the nearest soap that smelled of pine and elderflower. He cleaned himself quickly, used to a busy life and not enough time to enjoy hot water. 

“I agree. I think we both deserve it. You were right earlier about moving here. It would be a good change and there’s more than enough to keep us all happy.” 

“We need to find the right gear for them first.”

Joseph smiled knowingly, tilting his head and barely cracking his eyes open. “My brother prepared for everything. He’s a perfectionist. There is enough here to take back home.”

Rook was thrilled. He grinned and let the possibilities float to the surface of his mind. They could have a home here, at least until it was time to move on. 

“Would we share a room?” He asked, unable to keep the hope from his words. He wanted to make this work between him and Joseph.

“If you want. I'd like that a lot. We can share tonight.” 

Rook chuckled. He’d already planned that. He observed Joseph contently and made waves in the water with his hands. There was something on his mind, a question he'd avoided for a couple months. It bugged him.

“Joseph? Did you get a chance to speak to John?” 

Joseph opened his eyes and brought his head up away from the tub's edge. He frowned and shook his head remorsefully.“I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know I have to. I just... every time I look at him, I can’t.”

“Before we move, tell him. Give him the chance to decide.”

“Decide what?” Joseph was holding on to his calmness with a heavy grip but Rook could tell it was slipping.

“If he wants to come with us.”The thought had clearly not crossed the preacher's mind and he visibly recoiled. He darted his eyes away. Rook knew the risk of asking.“You have to ask him for forgiveness.”

“I know,” Joseph whispered, mostly to himself. “I will. I will, I promise. I just don’t want to lose my brother.”

“You won’t. John loves you and he deserves your apology.” Joseph nodded mutely and started to stand up. Rook grabbed his arm.“Hey, you haven’t really cleaned up. Come on, just stay with me a bit.”

Joseph seemed detached but he nodded again and sat back down.Rook had the feeling Joseph wasn’t going to do anything, so he took the soap and started rubbing circles into Joseph's chest and arms.

A few minutes passed quietly and Joseph finally became aware of his surroundings.

“I... Did you clean me?”

“You just sat there so I thought I'd help out. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood and-“ 

Joseph cut him off with a kiss, throwing himself forward into it. The water splashed around them, lapping over the edges. Rook yelped in surprise and arranged their legs better so Joseph could straddle him.

“Thank you. I try not to space out but it can happen. I normally don’t take so long.”

“It's okay. I don’t mind. I pushed too much. Let’s go to bed, yeah? Water's getting a bit cold and I’m really tired.”

Joseph nodded and kissed him briefly before standing and retrieving soft towels. He wrapped one around Rook's shoulders and let him dry off quickly, his curling hair still damp. Rook followed him back to the bed, climbing under the covers. He watched with a raised brow as Joseph dug around the bedside table and retrieved a hairbrush.

“John really thought of everything, didn’t he?” 

“We lived here together for a couple weeks to test everything, to make that we had enough if the Collapse came sooner than expected. Some of my belongings are here, along with the others.” Joseph started brushing his hair, untangling it from the mess Rook had made of it. He did it properly, like how Rook showed him. 

“How long are we staying here?”

“Just tonight. The sooner we move, the safer we'll be.”

Rook sighed. He knew he was coming back but the idea of leaving this place and returning to their freezing cold bunker and cans of mystery meat made him crawl under the sheets. He could enjoy it for one night, go home and come back within a week if they were lucky. 

Joseph put the brush down and Rook couldn’t resist petting the soft, fluffy strands. The preacher smiled and snuggled closer, pulling the blanket up to their shoulders. He switched off the light and pressed a kiss to Rook's forehead.

“Goodnight, Deputy.”

“Good night, Father.”

Even in the dark, Rook knew it affected him. Joseph tensed under his head, his hand pausing the circles he drew on Rook's arm. Rook grinned to himself and curled closer against Joseph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh... what did you think? I hope y'all enjoyed picturing Joseph like that because I sure did.


	11. Only You

It was a fight to get out of bed. Joseph woke early, as usual, and brought breakfast to Rook on a tray. It made up for waking him, the smell of Arabic roast easing the urge to whine and bury his head under the pillow. Joseph picked at his plate, marvelled at the taste of something other than strange meats and overcooked vegetables that couldn’t be saved by the few seasonings Dutch put aside. Salt and pepper were basic. John knew what was good and the stock room, or _vault_ of high shelves, was proof he planned to live out his days like a king. 

Joseph made no comment on his brother's greedy, hungry nature. He was too busy savouring his meal. Maybe once he got back, he'd scold John for his diverted priorities. Maybe. 

Rook took another bath, shorter and quicker. He didn’t need to. He wanted to. It felt so good not to worry about rationing. They were near a river, the water pumped and filtered from deep wells and underground streams into the bunker. Joseph gave him a quick rundown of the maintenance as he bathed, explaining things that went right over Rook's head and made him wish he hadn't skipped out on his classes. He nodded, smiled like he understood, and let Joseph's voice wash over him.

Getting out of the bath was a challenge too. He made it one, dragging the preacher in a soft kiss and convincing him that the best thing for Rook would be to strip down and join him. He'd never tried jerking off in a bath and the water splashed so noisily that he gave up, distracted by the noise. He dried off and threw Joseph on the bed instead, let his hands roam and squeeze and rub where he could reach. 

He came into the cultist's fist, pumping his hips into the tight and wet grip while he kissed Joseph and praised him. Told him how good he made Rook feel, how good he was to Rook. He didn’t need to do much to satisfy Joseph. He knelt between his spread legs and took Joseph's cock into his mouth, licking wildly at the head and sweeping over the slit beading with precum. Rook never thought he'd be sucking off Joseph Seed but it was addictive, hearing those soft sighs and gasps like Joseph was trying to keep quiet. It was cute but not what Rook was after.

He brought a hand up to join his mouth, trailed it down to massage his balls and earned himself a choked moan. Better. His fingers explored lower, pressing into the soft flesh behind where he knew he'd get a great reaction. The pressure pressed on the right nerves and his fingers danced over that spot with fervour, rubbing like he might a girl. 

Joseph cried out, fisting Rook's hair and pushing him down until he choked on his cock. Rook stayed where he was, moved his tongue and fingers until Joseph's hips twitched up and he came with the sweetest moan. Rook didn’t relent, kept teasing him well past the edge until Joseph yanked him back. 

Rook's reddened eyes stung with prickly tears and he coughed, cum trailing down his throat and pooling on his tongue. Fuck, he was a wreck. Joseph caught his breath and glancing down, petting where he'd pulled hard at the strands. It hurt but Rook ignored it, looking up with wide eyes and big grin.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you? I got carried away-“ Joseph babbled, sitting up with his free hand. 

“Can you do that again?”

Joseph blinked. Maybe he'd caused a concussion somehow. Rook kept grinning. 

“You want me to...”

“Hold me down and fuck my throat.” Rook sat up on his knees and pulled Joseph into a wet, salty kiss and forced him to taste his own release. The preacher leaned into it and Rook promised himself to remember that Joseph was kinda kinky sometimes. “Next time, don’t apologise. Just do it. I can take it. That was the hottest thing you’ve done so far.”

Joseph raised a doubtful brow, looking back on the previous night and his rather masterful blow job. He shrugged and kissed Rook's nose, sweet and far too romantic. Rook did the same, giggling as Joseph blushed. 

“We should get our stuff together. The sooner we move, the sooner I can grant your wish.”

Rook pouted and watched Joseph dress himself, pulling clean clothes from the wardrobe. Rook threw on the same clothes from the previous day, ignoring the smell of sweat and woodland. 

“Shall we?” 

Joseph held out his hand and Rook grabbed it immediately, letting himself be guided through the maze-like bunker until they reached their suits.The walk back to the basement was quick and Rook tried to commit every turn to memory. They went back up the stairs and Joseph paused to rearrange the closet, putting the ironing board back into place. Discreet and impossible to find unless you knew it was there.

Rook smiled at him and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a couple of men in black gear and masks. 

“Joseph!” The preacher looked behind him and backed away, finding only more men in the main room each armed with rifles. 

One man stepped out from behind them, taller and broader than the rest. He held something in his hand and Rook froze, rooted to the ground by that little box. Rook couldn’t cover his ears in time or grab Joseph and pull him away before the box opened and a soft tune played.

 _Only_ _you_...

The world spinned around him and the ground swallowed him whole, casting everything in darkness as the only thing he was aware of was the song drifting further and further away.

\---

Rook tasted blood on his thick tongue, rancid and sharp. His body slowly became responsive and bones ached and skin stung. Pain pounded at his temples and as he tried to reach out and ease it, he found his arms bound to a chair. His eyes were blinded with heavy cloth and he couldn’t shake it off. Metal rattled as he twisted in protest.

“Quiet down, pup.”

Rook stopped. There was no mistaking that voice. 

“Jacob,” he snarled, facing the source of the voice and baring his teeth. If Jacob wanted a wolf, he got one. 

“It's been a while, pup. Did you miss me?” A chair scraped across wood and Jacob's footsteps approached. “I sure missed you.”

His hand brushed Rook's cheek and slapped him hard, whipping Rook's head to the side with the sharp impact. Rook spit on the ground and hoped it landed on Jacob. 

“What did you do to Joseph?”

“You think I'd harm my own brother? He’s safe with my people.” 

“He’s with me. Ask him.”

Jacob scoffed. “He’s my brother. Joseph stays with me from now on. He’s been reluctant to tell me much but I know he saved you, and now I can help cleanse you.”

“Oh, I don’t think you quite understood what I meant.” Rook felt fire burn in his veins, knew his next words would stab through Jacob. He smiled with bloody teeth. “He’s _with_ me. In every meaning of the word. Friend. Ally. _Lover_. Joseph is mine and if you don’t untie me right now and bring me to him, God help you, I will rip your fucking flesh off with my teeth and I will burn what ever is left of you and your men.”

There was no sound except their breathing, irregular and strained. Jacob took Rook's chin into his hand. 

“There’s my soldier.” 

He slapped Rook patronisingly twice and chuckled, sighing lightly as if Rook hadn’t threatened him. Rook heard him step away and then a door slammed shut. He fought against his bonds with no result except broken skin.

* * *

“Do you think they'll be okay?” Sharky asked, tilting his chair back dangerously and barely grabbing the table in time to pull himself forward. 

John hardly raised his gaze, focused on the notes Sharky had thrown at him. He wanted to document their lives and unlike Joseph, his work was hard to read and understand. Like the markings of a boy who watched too many action films. He expected to find something about the undead. 

“Your Deputy has proven himself more than capable and my brother knows my region just as well. They’ll be fine. Quit worrying, it’s making it harder to read.”

“I do worry. He’s my boy. I mean, my bro. The dude is younger than me but that’s beside the point.”

John sighed and looked up, frowning and placing his palms together. “Would you rather it was you out there?”

“No.”

“Neither do I. I’ve had enough of ash and dead trees.”

“Thought you were eager for the apocalypse.” Sharky held his stare even when it turned dark and spiteful. “Is that what Eden's Gate was supposed to be? Hiding in a shitty bunker?”

“No, we weren’t supposed to even be here. Our followers should have been with us and we would have rebuilt the world.”

“But you’re down here. In a dark hole.”

John smiled with too many teeth, unsettling Sharky. “That's true, I am. You can thank your Deputy for that. And as far as rebuilding the world goes, I’m just one man and I certainly don’t see any women around here.”

Sharky laughed dryly. “Were you planning on fucking a new world into existence?”

“To make sure that we could pass on our legacy, yes. Our cult has dwindled to two members and two idiots tagging along, but our ideas still live on.”

Sharky rolled his eyes.“I just miss the fucking internet, man. And fresh air. Sure, we had a crappy country but I don’t know if it was worth all this fighting and killing. Not when this is what we get afterwards.”

“This is the punishment humanity must face for its actions.”

Sharky sighed and rubbed his face with a heavy palm. There was no changing John's mind, too full of hate and Joseph's poison. 

“Yeah, well, that won’t stop me from missing Pornhub. Or Brazzers. Cult or not, I _know_ you agree.”

John leaned back in his chair, deflating that anger and becoming borderline docile. Like a tiger that had been fed but would still lash out with razor claws if provoked. 

“Perhaps.”

Sharky didn’t miss the smile John smothered down by throwing himself into the notes again. 

\--- 

The single bedroom had become Sharky's after it was clear Rook preferred the warmth of his enemy to his best friend. Whatever happened behind that wall that separated them wasn’t his concern, Rook made it quite clear. He reassured Sharky here and there but never strayed into detail. The wall between them was more than physical. Perhaps Sharky had grown too used to being needed and with the lack of things to do in the bunker, it was impressive no one had lost their sanity. Maybe he should head up above ground again, burn some shit or something. That would make him feel better, right?

Except Rook and Joseph had taken the suits with them, of course. So he was confined to his room or the workshop, because John managed to respect his privacy. Most likely, he didn’t care what Sharky got up to. 

Reading was John's way to pass the time. He was always curled up around a book, losing himself in the pages until a hand shook his shoulder or waved in front of his eyes. 

Sharky passed the time differently. He laid back on the bed, glanced at the door, and fumbled with his belt. The first times he'd done this was when it was only him and John down here, too worried about getting caught to keep it up. Without porn, internet or magazines, because Dutch was weird and didn’t think to keep any around, he had to rely on memory and imaginations. 

Despite the cold air, he pulled his hoodie off and threw it just further down the bed. Lying under the sheets was enough to keep warm especially when his body began to react in anticipation, like it was trained. He did have a plan, a certain order to things before it got to the really fun part.

His hands brushed down his chest, pulling at his sensitive nipples harder than he would do to someone else. The pain was startling each time. He teased the dip of his hips, sharp like he was a scraggly teen again. Too pointy for his own good. One hand came up to his lips and Sharky imagined a partner encouraging to take their fingers into his mouth. His tongue poked out, always shy at first. Only once they were soaked and he was moaning around them, pressing them down as far as he could reach until he gagged, he unzipped his jeans and shimmied them down to his thighs. He wrapped his hand around his cock, flushed dark and already eager to be touched. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t love the way it twitched in his palm, especially when he pictured somebody else stroking him. 

Sharky let his mind wander. Pretty girls with huge tits and wet pussies got his attention, the idea of fucking something tight nearly ending his fun all too soon. He squeezed the base and pretended it was his cousin, Hurk, going down on him. 

Too gross. He almost lost his erection _and_ the will to live. 

He went through fantasies, ones where he was a king and beautiful people came from everywhere to touch him and take his cock in their holes. He pictured Adelaide briefly and remembered sorrowfully how he'd wanted her to see him more often, give him a taste of her unstoppable lust. She flirted with every man and woman but Sharky never heard her praise and saw more skin than she showed on a daily basis. He tried to catch her in the act with others, peeking through windows and over furniture, never successfully getting an eyeful. He moved on quickly before the moment could ruin his mood.

Rook tapped on his mind, loyal and a force to be reckoned with. Deadly and handsome and soaked in so much blood he could never scrub it out. Sharky couldn’t see Rook bending to him, gracing him with anything other than the friendship they'd built through death and insanity. He probably wouldn’t turn it down if Rook smartly changed his mind one day and decided to blow Sharky instead of Joseph.

His cock was aching and he teasingly stroked a finger along the underside, sighing softly as it twitched and bobbed for more attention. He was close but nothing quite punched it out of him. 

Somewhere in the bunker he heard a noise, like a book being dropped on a table. Footsteps followed and they were coming his way. Sharky pulled the blanket up to his chin. He could pretend to sleep. But would John smell sex and know exactly what Sharky was doing? Probably. Most definitely. Yeah, he would know one hundred percent that Sharky was jerking off. 

In the end, the boots stopped just before reaching his door. John was going into his own room. Was it late enough to sleep? Sharky didn’t care for time down here. He woke when he wanted, slept when his body passed out.

John was searching for something in the dresser and after a minute, he left the room again. Sharky’s breaths were measured and quiet, straining to hear what John was doing. A rumble in the pipes told him he was taking a shower. 

And that’s when Sharky knew what would get him off tonight. He spit in his palm and stroked himself, tugging sharply as he closed his eyes and wondered what John looked like under the water. He'd caught glances as they lived together, it was hard not to when they were practically breathing down each other’s necks. He knew John was toned and pretty and kept his body looking like a supermodel. Scars and tattoos painted his soft skin. But Sharky knew John wasn't soft, he fought and he growled and he was every bit the animal Joseph had trained. 

But fuck was he gorgeous and throwing Sharky into a frenzy of fear and admiration. Because how could a man like him live up to John's terrifying and beautiful image? John would crush him, he'd make Sharky beg for every touch and kiss until he was an obedient slave on his knees. Sharky would let him, in that moment. If John walked in, he’d throw himself before the Baptist and choke and suck at his cock and beg to be used. 

Sharky's cock gave almost no warning, or maybe he was too lost in the idea of being held down and fucked raw and bloody, and he came so hard he blacked out. When he stirred awake, his chest was soaked in cum and it hadn’t cooled just yet. He scooped some up and tasted it, pretended it was John's gift for his good behaviour.

His breathing steadied and he rushed to clean the mess. Lying down again, evidence balled into tissues and shoved in the bin in the corner, he realised how fucked up that all was. He really needed to get laid, by a woman. Not John. Definitely not John. Maybe, only, if he asked really nicely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First smut of the year. Anyways, who saw that coming??


	12. Michael from Austin

Joseph never liked having guns pointed in his face, especially when there was no reassurance that the triggers wouldn’t be squeezed. He watched the men who, in turn, watched him. Or rather, guarded him. The people they’d locked him in with were trying to seem friendly. Under the masks, he couldn’t see who they were and whether they were part of his flock or survivors Jacob had gathered. Either way, they never took their eyes off him.

Joseph knew his brother had changed. Somewhere in those five months, Jacob had become a different man because he didn’t look at his brother with adoration or trust any more. When he unlocked the door and dismissed his men, there was something in his eyes that Joseph didn’t like.

“I spoke to him,” Jacob said once they were alone. He stared Joseph down from the doorway, open and inviting Joseph to _try_ and leave. He blocked it with his heavy body, weapons sheathed and arms crossed. They both knew Joseph wouldn’t move.

“Would you like to explain why you’ve locked me inside our home?”

Jacob had the skill of never revealing what he thought, not outwardly. His face remained blank, if not uninterested, despite their reunion. 

“He told me about you both.”

Joseph raised a brow and leaned forward from the seat he’d be pushed into by rough hands. “And? Is that the reason I’m being held here? Jacob, why are you treating me like the enemy?”

A frown crossed over Jacob and his arms tensed. Joseph took it as a sign to keep going, maybe he could find out why this was all happening.

Jacob started talking before he could. “Which bunker are you hiding in? The things you took from here, they’re for other people.”

“What are you planning, Jacob? Do you think you can threaten others just to- what? Scare me? Punish me? I thought you were dead, there were no signs pointing otherwise.”

“You didn’t bother to check.”

Joseph stood so fast he sent his chair clattering to the floor. He crossed the space between them and glared at his brother, eyes fuelled with wrath and sadness and all the emotions he’d buried so he could survive.

“I searched everywhere for you! I had our people in the mountains for days trying to find a sign, anything to tell me where you’d gone. There was no body, nothing. I though Rook had burned your remains or the wildlife had claimed you. There was nothing!”Jacob stayed very still, observing his brother’s anguish pour out. When Joseph paused and looked up towards the ceiling, he saw his cheeks were wet. “I won’t tell you,” Joseph said with finality. He met Jacob’s eyes. “You can torture me but I won’t risk their lives, not when I know you’ll harm them.”

“Okay,” Jacob breathed softly. 

He grabbed Joseph’s arm in a painfully tight grip and pulled him out of the room. He became deaf to his brother’s questions and struggles, physically stronger and capable of dragging Joseph outside where he gestured for his men. Trucks were parked on the gravel and two dozen people dressed in masks and suits, all equipped with guns, formed a semi-circle in front of the Seeds.

“It’s the Deputy's fault," Jacob growled. "He killed our family, ripped it to pieces. He doesn’t care about you or anyone else other than himself.” Jacob stopped in his tracks and beckoned for one of his soldiers. “Go fetch the prisoner.”

Joseph watched the man go, panic setting in. “Are you going to execute him? Is that the message you want to send to your men? I didn’t betray you, Jacob. You don’t know what happened after we lost you.”

Jacob smiled but it was cold, sent shivers down his brother’s spine. Too many teeth and far too much wrath.

“Oh, but I do. I know he killed our baby brother. I know he killed Faith too. He destroyed everything.” Jacob fell silent, letting the words sink in as they waited for Rook to be brought out. Joseph couldn't bring himself to tell him about John, he couldn’t risk his little brother's life. John had accepted Rook into his heart and Jacob would want even more revenge.

A minute passed and Joseph stopped trying to pull away. There were too many guns. It would only encourage Jacob more. The soldier came back, dragging Rook by his bound hands. Joseph kept a straight face as he took in the bruise on Rook's cheek under the mask. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve all been together, right?” Jacob started, taking over Rook’s handling and bringing him to stand next to him. “Last time was when you first got here, all nervous and shy. You’re not anymore, though. And we’re not all here. I’ve got you to thank for that, Deputy.”

Jacob let Joseph go, only long enough to kick the back of Rook’s knees and send him to the ground. Rook cried out and tried to elbow Jacob, missing as the eldest Seed side-stepped easily. He glanced at Joseph, eyes pleading for an explanation.

“You took everything from me, from my people. The ones you see here, that’s all that’s left of Hope County. Those bunkers could have saved thousands but you were too stupid. You don’t have anyone left, you’re all alone, _except_ you’ve got Joseph. I don’t know how you twisted him but I’ll give credit where it’s due.”

Jacob squatted beside him, out of reach from sharp elbows. They both looked up to Joseph, who was lost for words. No one had twisted anybody, Rook wanted to say.

“Last words.”

The soldiers raised their guns, taking aim at both Rook and Joseph. 

“What?” Rook faltered, swapping between the two. “Joseph, what’s going on? Please, tell him to stop. Joseph!”

“Jacob, don’t. I understand your hatred, I do. I lost you all but please, don’t harm him. It was my fault, I never protected you the way I should have. I’m sorry. Jacob, please, tell your men to lower their guns.”

“Where’s the bunker? How many people are there?”

Understanding finally grew in Rook’s head. Jacob wanted revenge on everyone, including the people that had been saved. He'd do anything to get it.

“Joseph, don’t say anything. He’ll kill them. You can’t trust him.” 

“Okay, fine. I’ll find them myself.” He turned his head towards Rook. “Last words. I’ll give you the chance to say goodbye to my brother, even if it’s the last thing you deserve. Go on, make it good. Don’t disappoint the _Father_.”

“Please, Jacob,” Joseph pleaded. Jacob held up a hand, gesturing for him to shut up. The preacher looked down at Rook, to his frightened eyes. Why did they leave home? They should have stayed with their family. Joseph ignored the treachery of those thoughts, how right Jacob was in his accusations. His family was right there too.

“Don’t blame yourself, Joseph,” Rook started shakily. He wasn't ready for last words, no one could be, but he wanted Joseph to find some comfort. “You’re a good man and you’re my friend. If you want to honour me, do that thing we talked about and tell our boys to raise Hell.” 

Rook wanted to reach out and hold onto Joseph, he never wanted to let go. He blinked tears away, hating how weak he looked and utterly at Jacob’s mercy. He should have checked for a fucking pulse. Joseph was distraught, shaking and crying almost as much as Rook, wanting to reach out as well. He was losing his family all over again. 

“Cute,” Jacob said, standing up. 

Rook expected gunfire but instead, Jacob’s hand closed around his mask and yanked it off. It bounced where it landed in the dust.

The air was fresh, cold with the morning breeze. Rook felt calm for a moment, enjoying the feeling, until it collapsed down on him. He was breathing in toxic air. The panic rose in his eyes and he scrambled for the mask, only for Jacob to kick it out of his reach. One of the soldiers picked it up and then it was gone.

He barely heard Joseph’s yells or his curses. All he felt was death creeping in slowly. Who knew how long it would take but that was it now. He had radiation in his lungs and nothing could save him. He stopped scrambling and looked up to where Joseph was being restrained by several soldiers.

Jacob stepped into his line of sight.

“Do you have any clue what it’s like to survive on your own? Once your body starts shutting down and it’s harder and harder to keep walking. You got to watch the world burn only for an instant and then you were saved. You don’t deserve him, or his forgiveness, or his love.”

“I fucking hate you,” Rook spit.

“I hate you too,” Jacob reassured him, smacking his cheek patronisingly.

“Joseph won’t forgive you for this.”

Jacob laughed dryly, his smile too fake. He was beyond mad to go up against Joseph.“I know that. I don’t need his forgiveness. I want to see you suffer.”

He turned away towards Joseph and gestured for the guards to let go. Joseph pushed past him, shoving his brother out of the way to fall to his knees next to Rook. His gloved hands held his face gently, stroking his cheek and neck. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll make this right- I'll... I’ll-” Joseph was lost. He didn't know what to do, how to make all this go away.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Jacob declared, marching over to them and laying a hand on Joseph’s shoulder, only for it to be shrugged off. “Despite what you think, Joe, I’m not doing this to hurt you.”

His hand grabbed the edge of Joseph’s mask and pulled it up until it came free. Rook pushed up to his feet, prepared to kill Jacob.

“No! Don’t you fucking dare!” Rook yelled, lunging at Jacob to strangle him.He’d doomed his own brother. Joseph sat there in shock, not responding to much.

Soldiers tackled Rook back down, straining to keep him flat on the ground where he’d be less of a threat. Jacob watched them passively, not a shred of guilt or regret as he watched his brother slowly comprehend what he’d done.

“Jacob?”

Joseph’s voice was small, reduced to a whisper, as he looked over his shoulder with the same frightened face he had when their father had beaten him and Jacob had caught sight of the belt marks.Jacob didn’t answer. His hand went to a pocket to procure a small metal box. He fiddled with it for a moment before tossing it on the ground between his brother and Rook.

It beeped weakly like a pulse.

“A Geiger-counter?” Rook turned his head towards it. Joseph took it into his hands, the little needle barely bumping up. “There’s...”

“There’s no radiation,” Joseph finished, fully expecting this all to be a joke and the needle to fly into the danger red.

It stayed where it was. They both stared up at Jacob, neither quite grasping the last couple of minutes. The soldiers moved away, letting Rook sit up. Jacob shook his head and smacked the back of Rook’s like he was scolding a child.

“Do you seriously think I’d kill my own brother? We’re fine. All of us. The blasts were too far to cause much damage. The fire was the worst part.”

Jacob laid a hand on Joseph’s shoulder and then the side of his head, cradling him gently as if that would make it all better. Rook wanted, _needed_ , to tear Jacob apart. That was a promise he’d sworn. Joseph let himself be manhandled against Jacob’s thigh, pressed to him so that the holster couldn’t rub his cheek. He felt numb to it all, eyes flicking from the needle to Rook, an expression on his face Rook never, ever wanted to see again.

Scarred was the word that came to mind. Lost, scared, and abandoned.

Wrath was what Rook felt.

“Come inside, we’ve got a lot to talk about.”

* * *

Jacob was smart enough to tie Rook down to a chair at the dining table and keep a few guards standing by. Joseph was forced into the seat beside him, not reacting to anything except to grab Rook's hand. He squeezed it tight and Rook replied in kind, reassuring him. 

Jacob took his mask off, made a show of placing it on the table. He looked the same, perhaps scruffier, and all Rook thought was _kill_.

“Why?” Joseph broke the silence, barely a mumble as he glanced at his brother for a painful second before he couldn’t anymore. His eyes fell on the table where they'd shared so much. Their plans for the project, laughs over dinner; this house had so much history.

“He needed to suffer. He still does.” 

Rook bared his teeth and shifted closer in his bonds. Try it again, his eyes screamed.

“Why me?” 

Jacob leaned back and crossed his arms. Rook saw the indecision for a moment. Maybe Jacob hasn’t meant to take it that far.“Because you left me behind and you betrayed your family for him.”

Joseph snapped out of his shock and slammed his palm on the table, startling everyone. 

“My family was dead, Jacob! I had no one left. You think I wanted this? Asked for this? I warned you all of your sins and where they would lead you. You brought your death on yourself. I saved Rook because I was meant to. God showed me my path and I’ve led it, and if it includes forgiving him than I shall. You had no right to put us through that!”Joseph stood and leaned over the table, face eerily calm after his outburst. “Rook is my family as much as you are mine. And you will never threaten our lives again even to prove a stupid point.”

He stepped away from the chair and went to one of the guards, taking a knife from his belt. Jacob held up a hand to subdue the man, curiously watching his brother.

“What are you doing?” He asked as Joseph started cutting the zipties to free Rook.

“We're going home to gather our things and we're coming back here. That bunker downstairs is ours. You can find your own.”

Rook was finally free. He stood to join Joseph, admiring the calmness and strength in him. Jacob made no move to stop them.

“You’re bringing your people here?”

“Yes and if you harm them, I’ll allow Rook to finish what he started.” Joseph passed the knife to Rook, keeping his eyes on Jacob the whole time. Rook weighed the knife, wanting to bury it in Jacob's chest. 

“You don’t mean that.”

“It’s one thing to threaten his life but you punished me on purpose for a crime I didn’t commit. I’m not one of your puppets, I am your brother.” 

Joseph turned away and guided Rook out into the open. They were both hesitant to go, still unsure whether the radiation was really faint or not. Rook took the first step and Joseph followed. They went to their car, found their supplies from the bunker packed into the backseat.

Rook drove, he didn’t trust Joseph to keep his eyes on the road. He pulled out of the hangar and carefully circled the trucks until he was speeding down the dirt road and onto the tarmac.He didn’t stop until they reached their island. When he parked it beside some trees, out of view from the main road, he slammed his hands on the steering wheel.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he promised himself over and over. 

Joseph laid a hand over his. “Let's go home, stay there a couple of days.”

“Do we tell them Jacob's alive?”

“Yes but we also tell them what happened. John deserves the whole truth.”

They climbed out and started grabbing bags and hauling them to the bunker. Their friends were going to be more than shocked to find them without masks. It would take time to explain it all.

“John! Sharky! We’re back. Wanna give us a hand?” Rook yelled as he descended down the stairs.

There was no one at the little window. Someone always greeted them.He put his bags down and opened the door, followed closely by Joseph. 

“HEY! Anybody home? Come on guys, if you’re screwing around at least just tell us you’re busy.”Rook searched the rooms and when he came up to the bedrooms, both were empty. Clothes and boots gone. He ran back to Joseph.“They’re gone, took their stuff. Why would they? Do you think Jacob found them?”

“I don’t think so. He would have said something. Let’s bring the stuff in quick and we can go back out there and search for them. We weren’t gone long. They can’t have gotten far.”

* * *

The forest at night was always cold, the wind biting through the trees and swirling up the dead leaves. The February chill of Montana was not something John had grown accustomed to in the nearly eight years he’d lived here. He was shivering under the blanket, the small fire barely warming his face as he huddled close to Sharky.

“Do you think we'll find them?” He asked, accepting the food Sharky had heated up over the flames. Another can of chilli, salty and tasteless. It was better than nothing when there were no animals to trap. Not that he would know how to do that regardless.

“We have to. They could be hurt, John.”

“I understand wanting to help Rook but even Joseph? That’s quite a step up for you. Are you slowly liking my family?” 

Sharky snorted and shook his head. “Nah, but we stick together. I just hope we get to them soon and it’s worth the risk.”

“As long as we're not out here too long, we should be fine. It takes a heavy dose to die from radiation but let’s hurry and find them regardless. I don’t want to keep camping in the woods like some boy scout.”

“It’s a bit too cold for shorts.” 

John laughed and finished his meal, tossing the can in the bushes. When it was time to sleep, Sharky curled up close.

“Body heat, man. It'll keep us warm. Trust me.” John sighed and let Sharky throw an arm over him, to ‘conserve’ heat. He didn’t mind the close contact pressed against his backside. 

\---

“Look, they said they were going to search the Valley. Do you have any clue how many bunkers are around? Dozens. They could be in any one of them and it would take days to search them all. We need to think like them.”

John leaned back against the trunk of a pine standing proud on the roadside just past the bridge. He sighed and ran a hand through his too long hair. Soon he’d have to tie it back like Joseph and that was not something he was looking forward to. 

Sharky shook the map angrily.

“You want me to figure out how Joseph and Dep think? Seriously, that’s your plan?”

John breathed heavily through his nose, tempted to hit Sharky. He kept his fists at bay. “I don’t know! I’ve never had to search for my brother. Alright, alright. Maybe we can narrow it down. Let me look.”

Sharky held out the map and John yanked it from his hand, flattening it against the tree. He pointed to the nearest outposts, places where supplies could be found. 

“Here.” He jabbed a finger at several points. “Bunkers and outposts close together. I doubt either would waste time in the woods.”

“The town?”

“Maybe. If it survived, it would be the first place I’d go. Well, not the very first but-”

Sharky stopped him. “What do you mean?”

John looked away, knew he’d hinted at too much and now there was no hiding from Sharky’s curiosity.

“I had a bunker built under the ranch. Top of the line, absolute luxury. It was for our family and a few others in case we never reached the main shelters. It’s packed with supplies. If they were heading towards the town, I’d wager they’d go further. That is, if Joseph was willing to tell Rook about it.”

“We have to try.”

“It’s hours away, we’d need a car.”

Sharky nodded and looked back the map. “Rae-Rae’s farm. She had some trucks for the food.”

It was like the world had frozen around the farm. Not even the breeze stirred the trees. Everything was dead, produce rotten in the snow that lingered on the frosted soil. The blood had been washed away a long time ago and Rae-Rae was buried behind the house. Rook had done that not long after rescuing Boomer, too guilty for being just a moment too late.

A flag hung over the farmhouse, white and painted with the black cross of Eden’s Gate. John glanced at it, a mixture of anger and loss in his face, before Sharky grabbed his wrist and kept him moving. 

The pyromaniac was right. In the garage was an old truck with a long bed and bits of dried leaves and twigs stuck to the metal. It would have to do. John grabbed the keys from the hook on the wall, ignored the calendar stuck on September. The world had frozen. He offered to drive and Sharky didn’t argue. He threw his bag and the rifles they’d taken from Joseph’s mini armoury down at his feet. Out of habit, Sharky tried the radio. A crackle and then silence. 

They drove quietly, neither exchanging words as they watched the valley roll by. Both recognised what they were looking at but it was all wrong, not quite what they remembered. 

“I never thought I’d miss the sound of gunfire,” Sharky mumbled, fingers resting against his lips as he stared out the window.

Fall’s End came into view, the water tower standing proud above the rest of the town. Cars were abandoned in the streets, barricades still fortifying the main street. The shops were darkened, windows frosted over and some doors smashed inwards. Bodies lay beside the roads, torn through with bullets and rotting black and brown. John carefully drove around the blockades, rolling through slowly to glance at the buildings on his side. There was no sign of life.

“There’s no one here,” he stated as they reached the church.

“Maybe they already went through?”

John nodded and sped up. “Let’s try the ranch.”

Something was very wrong, John thought, as they reached the dirt drive up to his home. He could see up the hill several trucks all parked, and people wandering around. They had set up camp in his fucking house. 

“There’s people,” Sharky said with wonder. “Other people survived! Holy shit! Dude, what do we do? What if they captured Rook and Joseph?”

“Then we get them back. That’s my house they’ve taken. I’ll park down there, sneak around the side of the house. The bunker’s through the basement. There’s a closet by the kitchen, it’s through that.”

John pulled the car towards an old shed and turned the engine off, getting out and closing the door quietly. Sharky did the same, shouldering his rifle and throwing one to John. 

“What’s the plan?”

“We watch them, see if they’re even here in the first place. Then we’ll go in and check for ourselves.”

Sharky checked the clip. “Are we killing them? They could be good people.”

“Only if they get in our way. Let’s grab one of them, ask a few questions.” John took a knife from its holster and twirled it in one hand with easy, practiced movements. “Shouldn’t be too difficult.”

It really wasn’t at all. Sharky snuck around one of the patrol men and grabbed him by his hazmat suit, knocking him out with a fist to the head. The plastic hurt his knuckles. When the man woke up, he was slumped against the back wall of the shed with the two men staring down at him.

“What’s going on? I- Herald?” The man lost his confusion and threw himself to his knees before John. “John, you’re alive! How? What-what are you doing here, sir?”

John glanced at Sharky and back to their captive. “Do I know you?”

The man was taken aback but recovered quickly. He pulled off his mask as if it was nothing. Maybe he was trying to be like John, following his example. The man had dark hair, long and matted, with a thick beard and brown eyes. He was so happy to see John. 

“My name’s Michael, sir. I follow Herald Jacob. I’ve been with Eden’s Gate for many years, you recruited me in Austin.”

“I can’t remember every one of our members,” John said to Sharky, as if John needed to excuse his forgetfulness. Sharky shrugged. 

“Sir? Would you like me to take you to him?”

John’s eyes shot back to the man. “What?”

“Herald Jacob is here. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to see you. Father Joseph was with us just yesterday.”

“Jacob’s alive?” John whispered, mostly to himself. A smile grew on his face, genuine and eager, and Sharky had never witnessed it before. John looked ready to sprint out and find his brother. Sharky put a hand on his arm just in case. He didn't want to be left alone with a random peggie.

“Yes, sir.”

“Where did Joseph go? Was someone with him?”

Michael frowned distastefully. “Yes... The Deputy was with him. They left yesterday afternoon.”

“Take me to Jacob, now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry not sorry
> 
> so what did you think of Jacob's brilliant plan? 
> 
> Thanks for all the love so far. It's been so fun reading your comments, please leave more!! Plenty more chapters coming soon!


	13. You don't belong with us

Walking into his home was a foreign feeling. John hadn’t stepped into the ranch for more than half a year, once Rook had claimed it as his personal outpost and slept in his bed. He knew that because Rook bragged about it over the airwaves with laughter, commenting on the softness of the bed. He had heard the rustling of sheets and knew it was not an empty joke. 

The house was the same, busy with guards and too many guns and cars thrown about the front yard. But the flags were gone and so were many pieces of John’s belongings, anything to do with Eden’s Gate chucked into the river half a mile down the hill. 

Michael led them to the dining room, holding open the door but not stepping inside. He watched the sinner carefully but kept his eyes downcast.

John stopped in his tracks, Sharky almost bumped into his back.

“Jacob?”

The soldier glanced up from the books and maps laid out over the long table. He was dressed in dark jeans and a faded grey t-shirt, his camo jacket thrown over the back of a chair. He didn’t have a mask on, startling John with his lack of protection. Jacob crossed the space between them in an instant, enveloping John with his big arms and holding him tight.

He pulled back slowly after a moment and held John’s face in both hands, his eyes damp and a weak smile shaking. He grabbed him again, stroking John’s hair and mumbling things Sharky couldn’t hear. When he finally stopped and held his brother at arm length, he smiled properly.

“How did you survive?”

“How did you?” John grinned back, unwilling to let his brother out of his grip. 

“The Deputy fucked up. He didn’t check for a pulse.”

John laughed, brilliant and loud. “Same here. He can’t kill any of us right. Oh, uh, this is Sharky Boshaw. He saved me from the Collapse. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

“Yeah, I think we do.”

Sharky couldn’t relax in Jacob’s company. He’d met the man years ago before the cult became a threat and had been unnerved by his empty stare and threatening vibe. Jacob now was no different, even sat with John on the couch opposite him, unable to stop smiling and holding his brother close. He didn’t invade John’s space as much as Joseph did once but it was a similar bond. Sharky only knew the basics about them, let Dep do all the research while he blew things up, but he knew the brothers had been separated for many years before Joseph brought them together again.

It was like he’d done it once more without realising. 

Michael had told them Joseph and Rook had left and Jacob confirmed it reluctantly. There was something about him that made Sharky pay close attention to the way he described their reunion. Something was wrong. Jacob was too lost in his joy to mask his emotions enough. Surely Rook would have been pissed to find Jacob alive, especially after the eldest’s brand of torture.

Sharky refused to let himself be consumed by questions and theories. He kept an eye on the guards outside the window and Jacob, looking a few times at John just to make sure he was doing okay. The brothers lost themselves into their conversation, ignoring Sharky completely until he asked an important question.

“Why aren’t you wearing a mask?”

Jacob and John stopped, startled like they’d forgotten Sharky was sat not more than half a metre away from the youngest Seed. 

“The radiation here is minimal. There’s no risk.”

John nodded and took the answer as if handfed. He gave Sharky a look that warned him not to interrupt again and then threw himself back into the conversation as if nothing had happened. John was probably smart enough to know the answer anyways.

Sharky stood and went to glance out of the window. It was early afternoon but the February sun was already setting. Lights were switched on in the yard and the men working started to disperse. He wandered to the door and looked back at Jacob.

“Mind if I go for a walk?”

John waved him off dismissively so Sharky left the room. No one followed him. 

By the kitchen there was a closet, and through the closet was the basement. That’s what John had said. 

Sharky had only visited the ranch a few times. The first was to join Rook and jump on John’s ridiculously enormous bed, giggling as they went through his drawers. Rook had modelled a few clothes, impersonating John by unbuttoning an Armani shirt down to the last two buttons. It was one of those occasions where Rook had really been his true self, climbing down from an adrenaline rush, laughing and red-faced, and it had made Sharky question whether to join him on the bed. In the end, he did but not how he had imagined it.

The next few times were strictly work related.

He knew the layout enough to locate the kitchen and the closet. It was the only one in the hallway with a nice shutter-like door. He glanced around and saw no one, so he opened the door. His hand splayed out against the back wall and it swung open. The stuff inside was thrown out quickly and quietly and Sharky snuck down the stairs before anyone could spot him.

\--- 

“We should go find your boyfriend before he burns the house down,” Jacob grumbled but there was a hint of mischievous sarcasm only an older brother could manage.

John rolled his eyes. “He’s the furthest thing from that.”

“Right, because some rough boy with a love for fire and violence isn’t your type.”

John said nothing. They headed down the hallway and John paused as he saw the contents of the closet thrown on the floor and the door left wide open.

“You told him, didn’t you?”

“I thought Joseph might have come here for it.”

Jacob sighed and headed down the stairs, intent on dragging Sharky out. “Well, you’re not wrong. My boys spotted a truck heading here and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a sinner who’d heard about the bunker. Guess this is our meeting place after all.”

The lights in the bunker were off and it was silent. John switched them on and glanced in each room as they walked. It was large but not impossible to hide in.

“Boshaw! Get your ass out here,” John yelled. He glanced back at Jacob. “We’ll head back tonight, find Joseph and Rook, bring them back here. I don’t doubt they’ll be searching for us.”

“You’re coming back?”

John stopped and laughed. “Well, yeah, of course. I didn’t think we’d come here in the first place. We’ve got a decent home but maybe Joseph wanted this. It would give us way more space and privacy.”

“Why not live up top?”

“You’ve seen the world out there. It’s dead, there’s no noise. To be honest, being underground isn’t the worse thing. I know Boshaw feels the same. If we’re all here, we’d have a proper home. Vary between the two perhaps. Why do you seem reluctant?”

Jacob crossed his arms and looked away. “I pissed Joseph off. Big time.”

“What did you do?”

“Made it look like I’d kill Rook. I meant it, every fucking word, he deserves to feel that fear and the pain, but... Joseph doesn’t. I took it too far. Showed them there was no radiation in the most painful way.”

There was no expression on John’s face and then suddenly he struck his brother’s face hard. Jacob stumbled back, more from shock than force. John had never hit him before.

“You’re such an asshole! We all suffered from this. Rook included. You think he hasn’t lost anything? All his friends are dead. Even his fucking dog is dead.”

“That last part isn’t true. We found the dog in a bunker half-starved to death. I took him with us.”

“Well I suggest you give Rook his dog back. That might save you from being stabbed. Again.”

John started walking again, faster this time with the need to find Sharky quick and pray that Jacob wasn’t a lost cause. What the fuck was he thinking?

The end of the bunker was coming and he’d searched what he could. Sharky had to be down here, he’d only been gone an hour and the closet was empty. Surely, he wouldn’t have run away? He almost skipped past a bedroom but saw the door was ajar and someone was lying on the bed.

“Boshaw?”

Sharky didn’t reply. He was sleeping on top of the covers, tucked into a small ball. John leaned in the door way and sighed. Jacob hadn’t followed, hopefully he was going to fetch that damn dog Rook was so fond of.

He stepped in the room reluctantly and then with purpose. They had to go home. 

“Boshaw, wake the fuck up. We don’t have time for naps.” He shook Sharky’s shoulder softly, unable to be harsh when Sharky looked so vulnerable and small. He heard a soft protest as Sharky turned over onto his back.

“Oh hey.”

“Hey yourself, get your ass up. We’re going home. Joseph will be looking for us.”

“You weren’t kidding about luxury.”

“It’s my personal bunker. Of course, it’s luxurious. Up, _up_.”

Sharky groaned but sat upright, unwilling to get off the comfy bed even as John grabbed his arm and dragged him.

“What were you even doing down here?”

“Making sure Jacob was telling the truth and that they weren’t here after all.”

John wanted to protest but he saw the logic. 

\---

“Maybe we should split up, I’ll take the east, you take the west. We can meet up in Fall’s End by the end of the day,” Rook suggested as they packed a supply bag each. Joseph passed him a gun. Just in case. “You can have the car, I can manage on foot.”

“Sounds good.”

Joseph was in the truck not five minutes later, Rook at his side until they reached the bridge where they’d split up. He grabbed Rook’s shoulder and squeezed, trying to comfort him before Rook slipped out of the truck and into the woods. Joseph waited a minute until Rook was out of sight, already climbing up the hills and using the trees to pull himself up.

And then he went towards the northern roads. 

They had been gone a few days but perhaps John had gotten anxious. The longest trip had been a couple of days and, even with their need to expand their supply search, to be gone more than four days might have caused one of them to start a search party. The worst part was that neither of them knew it was safe to breathe outside. It meant John knew full well the risk of going out and still did it.

That is, if they weren’t chased out of the bunker.

Jacob wouldn’t do such a thing, would he? Joseph was beginning to doubt that. He understood why Jacob had done the things he did but he would never accept it, maybe not even forgive. At least not for now. Joseph’s mind was scattered. He hadn’t quite grasped that his brother was both alive, even if by Rook’s lack of certainty, and reuniting like that was not what he had in mind.

He feared for both Jacob and Rook. It had scarred the Deputy and with all that he’d lost, to be left under the impression that he was forced to die in front of his lover- Joseph couldn’t begin to imagine the anger he felt towards Jacob. That wasn’t including seeing Joseph being given the same dooming sentence. 

And Jacob- He would have to feel the extent of Rook’s wrath once more. Joseph didn’t want to admit it because it made his skin crawl but he’d lost respect in his older brother. He’d been betrayed and punished for something Jacob had to know was going to happen. Ever since Rook had walked into their lives, jumping at the yells of the followers and frozen on the spot in front of Joseph’s congregation, he’d been all the family discussed. His name was mentioned more often than not; at the dinner table, over radio relays, as the plans were built and broken by Rook’s insane need for justice and bloodshed. 

But they had talked about how he was the one. The Alpha and the Omega. He would be there to start the story and he would be there at the end. Rook was always going to end up at Joseph’s side, that was God’s plan. It was up to his siblings to decide whether they would be there too.

Jacob knew that. 

So what broke in him to accuse Joseph of betrayal? Perhaps Rook had said something, more than he meant, and Jacob had taken it the wrong way. Or maybe Jacob had just changed. Loneliness could break and reshape a man into something desperate and misshapen. 

While Joseph had the speed of the car on his side, Rook had shortcuts. He didn’t need to follow the mile-long straights from one end to the other. He cut through the trees and the fields, his breath coming out in short plumes as the air chilled. 

At least they only had one region to cover. John and Sharky knew the plan, just in case something like this ever happen. Sharky might have panicked and run around the entire region trying to find them but John was logical. He went to the places Rook would go. Somewhere safe, hidden, and likely to yield supplies. Their detour to the ranch was likely on his mind.

He jogged past outposts overtaken with snow. The flakes began to fall softly by the time he reached Fall’s End. The ground was lightly dusted and it crunched under his boots. The sky was dark, nightfall approaching quick, and thick clouds dragged lazily overhead. It was going to be a cold night. He was starting to shiver under the coat and the jumper he’d quickly grabbed. 

The town was so still. He glanced around, peeked his head into the bar, and found nothing, no one. He knew why there was no one in the Henbane region, burned and turned to ashes, but the river had protected a lot of the county from the fires. It made sense for people to still be alive. They had to be somewhere.

Once they found their friends, Rook was going to start a search party. To check every bunker in the county in the hopes that people hadn’t starved to death. 

He walked into the church. The outside walls were stained with dark sploshes, blood from the birds John had nailed to them like the drama queen he was. It had been gross but it got Rook’s attention, which he supposed was the point. He never cared to mention how wedding-like the entrance had been. It would satisfy John too much and his ego was already big enough for three people.

The old wood creaked under his boots and snow had drifted in through the smashed stained glass and holes in the roof. Wherever Jerome was, he would be pissed to see his church in such a state. The pews were pushed against the walls and it seemed no one had made much of an effort to erase John’s work. He remembered the sting of the tattoo needle and reflexively held a hand to his chest, rubbing the skin that no longer hurt. He hated it, a permanent brand on his flesh that he never asked for.

Rook wasn’t a religious man but there was something about standing in an empty church that calmed him. It was a shelter, regardless of personal religion, it had been made with the intent of bringing people closer to God. Rook didn’t feel that pull towards the light. He understood others took refuge in the Lord’s words and his forgiving nature, but he was more than content to leave it to Joseph.

The rumble of an engine outside brought him out of his trance. He stepped away from the altar respectfully. Just in case God was watching. Joseph’s truck was idling on the road and he heard the door slam shut. Rook stood on the steps of the church entrance and waved, catching Joseph’s attention.

“Found anything?” Rook asked, joining him on the curb. Snow caught in their hair and Rook fought the chill in his hands as he was exposed to the winds again.

Joseph shook his head and frowned. “Nothing. Perhaps they followed our footsteps and went to the ranch.”

“That means going back to Jacob.”

“That means finding our family. I understand if you don’t want to go back-”

Rook held up a hand. “I do. I still want to move there. I _don’t_ want to see Jacob. If you think that’s where John would look for us, then we’re going back.”

Joseph nodded and they headed for the car. The heating was on and Rook threw his hands over the vents on the dash. They started back out, lights illuminating the snowy road. The world was so dark, the wind curling up the snow so fast and heavily that Joseph turned the wipers on and slowed the truck. As they took a right towards the ranch, a couple of lights glinted in the distance.

Another car.

“Joseph, slow down. There’s someone else out here.”

The truck pulled to a stop and Joseph waited, seeing the lights pass through the trees as the other vehicle approached. Rook got out of the truck hastily and started waving his arms. The lights stopped moving and over the sound of the engine and the wind, Joseph heard someone yell Rook’s name.

The other car slammed its doors and Joseph saw the two idiot members of his family climb out. Rook met them in the middle, and Joseph joined them.

“You dumbass, why did you leave the bunker?” Rook spoke over the noise. He held Sharky close, who was not dressed appropriately for the current weather. 

“We were worried about you. You were gone for days. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Wait, you’re not wearing the suits? We need to go back to the bunker right now. You’ll be okay.”

“Sharky, shut up for a moment. Remember what Jacob said?” John interrupted, frowning until he saw Joseph and then he jumped into his brother’s arms. Mostly to leech the heat off him.

“You saw Jacob?” 

“Yeah, John took me to the ranch. Told me about the bunker and we found Jacob there. Man, it is something alright. Makes our place look like shit.”

“I suggest we all talk about this back home,” Joseph cut in, pushing off John enough to at least look at his family. John stuck to his side, glued into the arch of his protective arm.

“Where’s that?” Rook asked, because they had to decide whether to take an hour-long route to Dutch’s island in the snow or go half-a-mile to the ranch. Even if Jacob was there, Rook could hide in the warm bunker and avoid freezing to death.

“The ranch?” John replied, eager to go back inside.

Joseph judged their reactions, all quite ready to head up the hill. He nodded and rubbed John’s arm before climbing back into the truck. Rook joined him and they waited for John to turn his car and lead the way. 

The men in the yard were more than surprised to find John coming back so soon but as soon as they saw Joseph, some of them bowed their heads in respect. As if Jacob hadn’t humiliated and weakened Joseph’s stature among the rest of his flock.

They quickly herded them inside, where a fire had been lit and the entrance hall was warm and golden. Rook rushed to the flames to warm his hands and John joined his side. The Georgian blood in him unable to agree to the climate no matter how long he had lived in Montana.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Rook said to John with a shy smile. “We got back and the bunker was all cleared out.”

“How long were you searching?”

“All of today, mostly planning last night. Neither of us have slept. We thought Jacob got you.”

John looked uncomfortable. He frowned. “I know what Jacob did. To you both. It wasn’t right.”

Rook glanced up at him. He’d never expect John to side with him over his brother, but then again Joseph had been traumatised too. He nodded his thanks.

“Tell me about it. Your brother’s a dick.”

“I punched him in the face,” John admitted. “Thought that would make you happy.”

Rook laughed and bumped shoulders with him, standing a little bit closer. “Thanks. It does. So, your fancy bunker downstairs... Pretty sweet place. I know Joseph will tell you but we wanted to move in. All of us. Well, the four of us for certain.”

“I’m glad you like it and I wouldn’t complain. I thought Joseph might take you here. Aside from the main shelters, I have the most supplies and resources pooled in one location. I’m glad no one looted it.”

“We did. Just a little. In case we needed the extra cans. And to convince you guys to go outside. We didn’t count on you running out to find us, radiation or not.”

“Well, Boshaw was losing his shit and panicking.”

Rook held back a smile. “So, you indulged him?”

“Exactly. I know you both can handle yourselves out there.”

Rook turned towards John and leaned into him, wrapping one arm around his shoulders. “Thanks for caring.” He turned his head to John’s cheek and pressed a kiss there. “You took a hell of a risk for us.”

John ducked his head but Rook could see the redness of his cheeks. He laughed softly and nodded, messy hair hanging over his eyes. 

“Uh guys?” Sharky interrupted, watching them with jealously as Rook pulled away. He’d seen everything. “Joseph wants us all in the kitchen.” He went back into the hallway, wishing he could be both those men at once. 

John stepped back and shook his head to move the offending strands out of his face. He looked like he wanted to say something but the words weren’t coming out. Rook grabbed his wrist and pulled him along, gleeful to have two Seeds worked around his little finger. 

\---

Rook sat beside Joseph, who took the head of the table naturally. Sharky sat opposite, hiding between the two Seeds and far from Jacob. No one spoke and most of them had reason to hurt Jacob. Rook didn’t even grace him with a glance, he kept his eyes on Joseph and his immaculate blank mask. Underneath, he had no clue what was brewing but there was darkness to his eyes. 

“We are taking the bunker,” Joseph stated with no room for discussion. “We four are allowed to roam free above and below ground. We will continue to live our lives as we have done so for the past five months. The followers may not enter or disturb us in the bunker unless it is an emergency. That includes you, Jacob.”

The eldest had the decency to hold Joseph’s gaze and nod stiffly. 

“Since this is John’s home, he gets to decide whether you may stay on the property or not. However, if he agrees, you will stay far away from Rook and his friend. And you will never threaten their safety. Nor mine or John’s.”

“Yes, Joseph,” Jacob agreed softly. He had been kicked down from his podium and now he had to face the consequences of going against the Father.

Joseph turned to his family. “We’ll stay here until the storm has passed. Once it’s safe to drive, we’ll go home and get our things together.”

“If that’s all, I’m going to stay upstairs tonight. If that’s okay with you, Joseph.” John was allowed with a nod and he departed the kitchen quickly with a curt _goodnight_. Rook heard his footsteps on the stairs and then the slam of a door.

“Can I go?” Sharky asked. He wanted to check on John. Joseph let him go too and soon it was just the three of them.

“Joseph-” Jacob began.

The preacher held up a hand. “Whatever it is you have to say, I’m not in the mood to hear it. What you did... I have a hard time forgiving.”

“You forgave him.” Jacob glared at Rook.

“I did and it turns out you were alive after all. Therefore, that clears him of any guilt.”

“And I didn’t kill him. He was never in danger! Neither were you!”

Joseph shot out of his chair, slamming his palms down on the table. Jacob fell silent immediately, biting back his words. Rook tried not to smile wickedly.

“What Rook did was for the good of his people and can be understood, if not forgiven. What you did was to torture and humiliate me in front of _MY PEOPLE_. My flock! I’m the one they all look up to and you tried to destroy me. The only reason I let you in my sight is because he is still alive. Do you think I wanted this? To find my brother is alive and well and for him to treat me like this? You had no right. None at all. You have no idea what we’ve been through.”

Joseph stopped and took a deep breath, shaking with effort. Rook dragged a hand up and down his side, trying to calm his nerves. Jacob flashed him another malicious look.

“I know you hate me right now, Joseph. But at the end of the day, you’re sleeping with the enemy. He’s the one who put a bullet in me. He's the one who sent John’s plane crashing down in flames, he drowned Faith, and he’s the reason this family is broken.”

“You’re wrong, Jacob,” Rook butted in with a frown and venom on his tongue. “The four of us lived in peace for months. John and I are friends, and Joseph means the world to me.” Rook didn’t miss how Joseph tensed under his hand and glanced back at him with wide eyes. “We were doing fine without you. You’re the one who’s destroying everything and we won’t let you.”

Rook stood and tugged Joseph’s wrist gently, unwinding him from his lurch over the table. Joseph let himself be led towards the door and he waited there while Rook paced back to Jacob.

“I hope you know how lucky you are to have your brothers and how much I respect Joseph, because I would feel no guilt in tearing you apart right now if it weren’t for them.” Rook leaned closer, enough that his nose nearly brushed Jacob’s. He lowered his voice. “You are not one of us.”

He pulled away, admired the shock and the anger and sadness that washed over Jacob, and he smiled brightly. As much of a psychopath as the Seeds themselves. Joseph was right, he was meant to be by his side all along. 

He went back to Joseph and entwined their hands, leading Joseph towards the basement where they could be safe and far away from the mess up above them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is going wrong! I warned y'all the peace would be short lived!


	14. Everybody's got a fucked up family

John stared at his reflection in the mirror. His room was the same as he’d left it, aside from the crumpled sheets and clothes badly shoved back into the drawers. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and sighed heavily, drained from camping in the cold and fighting with Jacob. He never wanted a reunion like this.

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off his boots. A shower was the first priority, no matter how exhaustion weighed down his bones. A soft knock rapped on his door and Sharky poked his head in.

“Hey, man. Can I come in?”John waved him in and started unbuttoning the dark shirt he’d been wearing for days. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

John looked up and raised a brow, puzzled smile tugging his lips. “Why? I’m fine.”

Sharky balanced his weight on his toes, rocking back and forth as he shoved his hands in his hoodie. “You got out of there pretty quick.”

“Seeing my family argue is not something I enjoy, Boshaw. I’ve heard enough of it in my life.”

John stood to take his belt off, rolling it around his hand so he could place it neatly in his drawer. Sharky caught a glimpse of several belts and many stylish buckles. He walked away from the door and stood beside John, his hand lingering over a sharp elbow. John sighed tiredly and looked at him. He had the complexion of a corpse; dark bags under his eyes, skin pulled tight over bones, and a sluggishness to his movements.

“Do you want to be alone tonight?” Sharky asked him softly. John could take the meaning however he wanted. Instead, he breathed a laugh and turned his attention to his suddenly very interesting belts. “I know what it’s like when you don’t know what to do, when your family is so fucked up it’s better to walk away.”

“I think my family is just a bit more fucked up than yours,” John said like it was a competition he was bent on winning.

“My mom and dad used to beat the crap out of each other and afterwards, they’d call on me to take care of them. I had to pull glass out of my dad’s face once," Sharky said quietly, eyes downcast on the drawers but not really looking at them. "I don’t know how many times I called the police or the ambulance. Every time they’d say I was their little boy, I was so good to them, that they didn’t deserve me. They were fucking right about that.” Sharky paused and laughed to himself, but it wasn’t amusing. “It was the only time they paid attention to me. I got called out of school so many times; missed my high-school graduation because dad got so mad he used a kitchen knife and mom wouldn’t stop bleeding. She died a few days after in the house, couldn’t afford the hospital bills.”

“I’m sorry.” And John meant it. 

“I knew mom had a relative in Montana so when Hurk Sr came to the funeral, I told him what dad did. Back then, he wasn’t so much of an asshole. Hurky was there too and we got along. So, my uncle took me back to Montana and I lived with him and Hurk. I never saw my dad again and I don’t think my uncle did either. So, yeah, I do know what it’s like to want to hide and ignore the fighting. Especially if it’s your own family.”

Sharky moved his hand up to John’s shoulder and squeezed it. “Except you’ve got a family that loves you and would die for you, and I don’t just mean blood family. You and Rook, you’re the best friends I have. And I really don’t want you to be alone when you don’t have to be.”

Sharky should have seen the kiss coming but John was quick and his lips were soft and demanding. He barely caught John in his arms but he saw the tears down his cheeks and felt how much John needed to hear those words. He held him tight, let John take what he needed and moved his lips against his until John pulled away. He wiped his eyes roughly and sniffed, laughed like he didn’t mean for that to happen. That it was a joke and Sharky really didn’t need the burden.

Sharky hushed him, pulled him close and angled John’s head so it could rest on his chest. Hurky used to do that to Sharky when things overwhelmed him and the steady heartbeat in his ears was the only rope he could cling to. 

“Thank you,” John whispered. “I... I don’t want to be alone.”

“Then I’ll stay with you. Whatever you need, I’ll do it.”

“I want my family to be whole again.”

Sharky petted his hair and buried his nose in it. “I know you do and it’s gonna happen. You’ve just gotta give it time. Your brothers love each other, they’re just angry and scared right now. Give it time, man.”

\---

John hadn’t expected Sharky to still be there by the time he finished his shower. He took a while under the hot spray, praising the pressure that eased his sore muscles. It felt nothing like the one at the bunker and standing in his bathroom, drying off with fluffy towels and glancing at all his care products, it felt as if the months in the bunker had barely happened. Like it was an age ago. He was home again and as safe as he could be. 

When he exited the bathroom, Sharky was sitting on the bed and gazing out the window down the sloping hills. The snow was still falling, softer now, but the world outside was all white. He could only see just a little beyond the property, where the golden lights faded their reach, and then darkness. Not one twinkling light in the pitch black. Sharky knew where he should look to see the town but he couldn’t find it.

“It’s yours if you want it.”

“What?”

John pointed at the door. “The shower. You could use one too.”

“Oh, right, yeah. I don’t really have any clothes, though. Everything’s back home.”

John started digging through his belongings and pulled out a soft shirt and lounge trousers, along with boxers and socks. He tossed them to Sharky and watched him get up and disappear into the bathroom. Sharky took less than ten minutes and then he was standing in John's room again.

“I just want to sleep, Boshaw.”

John was ready for protest, had the retaliating words against it planned in his head. Sharky smiled and nodded. 

“Okay, I’m pretty tired too.”

“You... _Oh_ , okay.”

Sharky sat down and pulled the blankets aside so he could crawl under. “Something wrong?”

“No, I just... didn’t think you’d agree.”

John felt stupid for saying it, even the look Sharky gave him was questionable. 

“Why not? Look, I don’t really know what’s going on between us right now but I’m more than certain that trying to complicate things won’t help. I’ll be honest, if you ask for... you know, _that_ , I won’t turn you down but I don’t think either of us should try until we’re both okay. You know, not just physically.”

After a pause, John thanked him. He joined him under the blankets and switched off the light, and true to his word Sharky did nothing. He didn’t even curl closer. There was a gap between them big enough to fit another person. John’s bed was really big.

“I don’t know if I can,” he said after some time. He knew Sharky wasn’t asleep yet. 

“Can what?”

“Be with you, have sex. I just... I want to say it’s because of our history but it’s not. I just don’t really want to right now. I don’t know why, I just-” He trailed off, feeling stupider by the second. Tears welled in his eyes and he roughly wiped them as if Sharky would know if he didn’t.

“Dude, that’s totally fine. That kiss was really nice but I won’t ask for more. You give what you want, you don’t owe me a thing.”

“I don’t want you to think I’m leading you on for nothing.”

“I don’t think that at all. Everyone can have boundaries, man. Hell, the last thing I thought was that you’d kiss me, like ever.”

John turned towards him and closed a bit of that gap. “You’re a strange guy, Boshaw.”

“Nah man, I just respect people, especially guys that could carve me into pieces if I piss them off.” 

John let a weak laugh bubble out. “Joseph wouldn’t let me.”

“I think he’d make an exception, but that’s not why. I want you to be okay with it.”

“And if I never am?” John could feel the weight of the question. The one that would break what little they had between them, but he had to voice it. Make sure they were both on the same page because John was a perfectionist down to a fault. When people held him to his promises, even vague notions, he needed to deliver even if it hurt him.

“Then you and I can be really good friends.”

That wasn’t the answer he was expecting. The whole conversation wasn’t. He was trying to find fault, a crack in Sharky’s sweet nature that revealed something dark if he clawed and pried away the mask. 

“You wouldn’t be angry?”

Sharky let out a soft sigh, like he was tired of repeating himself and not being truly heard. “Of course not. I won’t lie, sex is great, and doing it with a guy _has_ been on my mind since I met Rook but it’s not the 'be all, end all'. It would be nice to try but you’d prefer to just hold my hand, I’d be happy with that too. Hell, you don’t even have to do that.”

John was crying again. He tried to keep quiet and wiped the tears away before they could wet the pillow. Sharky hushed him and turned on his side, his hand hovering over John’s arm before he convinced himself to stroke it comfortingly. John took the touch as an invitation to come closer, pressing himself into Sharky’s chest.

“It’s okay, man. I don’t get why you’re crying but you’re okay.” He curled an arm under John’s head to cradle it. “You’ve got your family back and everything will be alright. We love you, man, you’ve got to know that.”

John laughed through the sobs. He let himself be heard, didn’t muffle his cries because that’s not what Sharky wanted. He wanted honesty and John was never one to give it up easily. 

“They’re happy tears, idiot. I’m happy.”

“Oh, I thought... Never mind, I’m glad you’re happy. Can I- Can I ask why? You seemed really down a minute ago.”

“I just am.”

It was easier to admit the whole truth. John could give him snippets of honesty but he couldn’t bring himself to say it was the first time someone had accepted his boundaries and decisions so simply. Not even Joseph managed that. There were always demands to be met, people constantly breathing down his neck with expectation on his success, judging him for every choice and criticising openly. It was nice- relieving, in fact- to just be himself for once.

“You’re a good man, Boshaw. I hope you know that.”

“Yeah, well, I try my best. Goodnight, John. You sleep well.”

“You too, Sharky.”

\---

John woke to an empty bed. He sat up in a rush, patting the bunched-up blankets. The room was empty too and the bathroom quiet. Sharky had left, he’d broken his promise. John was pissed at himself for believing the sinner’s words. He climbed out of bed and threw on a jumper.

He yanked the door open and almost walked straight into Sharky. The man had the reflexes to step back and avoid collision with the tray in his hands and John’s chest.

“Oh, hey amigo, sorry. I tried to be really quiet.” Sharky held up the tray. “Made you breakfast.”

John’s anger extinguished as if he’d been thrown into a river. “You... made me breakfast.”

“That’s what I just said, isn’t it? Now technically, this is supposed to be served in bed so get your ass back on there.”

John nodded dumbly and did as told, adjusting a pillow behind his back. Sharky closed the door behind him and laid the tray across his lap. Actual food. Not canned meat or vegetables, but real sausages and bacon. A cup of coffee sat next to the plate and the scent eased the anxiety that was slowly dying in John.

“I got a chance to speak to Jacob, turns out he took this place over when the resistance ran for their bunkers. So, power’s been running the whole time and this was in the freezer. I thought you might like it. It’d be better with eggs and toast but well... can’t really do that at the moment.”

“No, this is great. Thank you.”

John didn’t admire the nicely grilled meat for long. He was starving and the taste of real meat and sweet grease was the best thing he could have hoped for.

“How is Jacob?” John asked once he’d taken a few bites. He let Sharky pick some bacon off. 

“Oh, uh, I don’t really know. He always seems pissed to me but words came out of his mouth instead of grunts so I suppose he’s okay. I haven’t seen Joseph or Rook yet. I think they slept in the bunker.”

“Together.”

Sharky chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah, that’s kind of their thing now. I don’t suppose Joseph’s told you how far along-”

“No, Joseph likes to believe he’s a gentleman in that regard. I doubt we’ll get any dirty secrets from him. But I know my brother well enough that he wouldn’t start anything without Rook’s permission.”

“And Rook is a kinky bastard.”

John hummed in agreement. They’d been exposed to Rook’s endless flirtiness for weeks once they’d revealed their relationship. Rook had no self-respect and he groped and kissed Joseph without any care if someone else was in the room. John almost bleached his eyes once he’d caught Rook resting his head in Joseph's lap like it was a totally normal thing to do. He hadn't stayed long enough to find out what Rook was doing on his knees between the preacher's legs.

“I think we can assume clothing has been lost already.” John noticed the particular look Sharky pulled. “Wait, is that a good thing for you?”

“Well, I mean, Rook’s a great-looking guy. The dude is a killing machine, he’s ripped and I may or may not have a thing for people who could bring me physical harm if they wanted. That says a lot about me, doesn’t it?”

“Definitely. I’m surprised you haven’t jumped in Jacob’s lap yet.”

Sharky coughed dryly and his face went red. John was grinning like an idiot. “Yeah, but there’s a difference between being manhandled and being snapped in half like a twig. No offence to your brother but whoever is daring enough to lie underneath him is really fucking brave. I do not volunteer.”

“Good. That leaves you only one other man who can rough you up.”

“Oh, yeah? Who’s that?” Sharky was smiling too. “You?”

“You think I can’t?”

“I know you're more than capable. You wouldn’t be a true Seed if you couldn’t.” Sharky leaned and took John’s hand, the one that wasn’t curled around the coffee mug. “The day you feel like pining me to a wall, just do it. I won’t stop you.”

“We’re just flirting, Boshaw. Don’t get too worked up.” There was a tone to John’s voice Sharky didn’t like, if he was trying to alert him to the boundaries he’d placed last night.

“I know, John. But considering it’s you, it’s impossible not to get worked up. You enjoy your coffee, I’m gonna take shower. Take care of my... uh, problem.” 

Perhaps it was oversharing but John glanced down regardless, and a little smirk revealed itself behind the rim of the mug. The fucker was doing it on purpose, Sharky thought. He didn’t mind one bit.

“Want some help?”

“No,” Sharky insisted, squeezing the hand gently. “You sit there and enjoy yourself. Don’t worry about me. Can I... Can I kiss you?”

John nodded and lowered the drink, letting Sharky invaded his space and claim his lips in a soft kiss. The pressure faded quickly and Sharky didn’t push for more. He smiled gratefully at John and retreated into the bathroom. He didn’t take long, not with the fantasies of doing so many unspeakable dirty things to John. Mostly with his soft red lips and big blue eyes staring up at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how John survived months in a bunker with no porn. He's going to be Asexual in this and there is good reason behind it, not just to make him special. John's canon past was filled with sex/drugs to the point where he did anything possible. So add this to the trauma/self-doubt and lack of drugs to make it easier, he's not going to want to be touched or pushed into sex.   
> His boundaries and willingness is loosely based on myself (I'm Ace for years) and he is comfortable with occasionally touching others/himself, so it is true to life or at least mine. I think John needs a partner who can really help him, mostly mentally, and factoring in the lack of sex will definitely make it interesting and difficult for him and anyone else.   
> It's not a hard life to live but considering John's past and his need to please, it won't be easy for him. 
> 
> Do let me know your thoughts on this chapter. The whole reason this ENTIRE fic exists is because I wanted Sharky and John in a bunker together and then this happened instead. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Feel free to chat with me on Tumblr: topwizzynum


	15. Bunker full of essentials

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's leaving comments and kudos. I love reading your thoughts! And to anyone who doesn't, maybe consider dropping a line :) Interacting with my readers is the highlight of my day.

Joseph was a warm steady weight on top of Rook, an arm clinging tightly across his chest. He was a silent sleeper, never making more than a few sighs when he moved around and lost some heat. Rook stared at the ceiling, holding Joseph close so he couldn’t shuffle away. Not that he would, Joseph never strayed far and rarely exposed his back to Rook unless it meant spooning. By morning, Joseph had normally reclaimed Rook’s chest as his favourite pillow. 

It was early. Rook hadn’t slept much, unable to close his eyes and feel safe when Jacob was just above him alive and breathing. He had guilt when it came to John but only because John was as much of a lost soul as Faith. Jacob had control of his sense, his actions. He knew what he had done to Rook, and Rook had no guilt about killing him. Or supposedly killing him. He really should learn to check for a pulse. One of these days Faith was going to knock on his door, arisen from the dead and muddied from her grave behind Joseph’s church.

He couldn’t get rid of Jacob, not without risking his links to the two other Seeds. And murdering him again was not an option. Rook was not Joseph, he didn’t forgive so easily but he had a feeling he would have to or at least find a way to keep Jacob out of his sight. Out of mind, too. If only.

Joseph stirred, mumbled soft words that made no sense. Rook smiled and tightened his hold. It was all so soft and warm with him. His calmness seeped out in waves, affecting all those around him. 

“Morning,” Joseph said with a sleepiness Rook found adorable. There was a vulnerability to sleeping with someone, you left yourself open to anything, but Joseph did it easily.

“Morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Not as much as I’d prefer but I’m grateful to wake up beside you. Did you?”

Rook shook his head. “Barely slept at all. Couldn’t stop watching the door.”

“He won’t come down here. I made it clear he’s not welcome.”

“Do you think you can forgive him?” 

Joseph sighed, too tired to be having a conversation on his erratic brother so early in the morning. “He has to earn it. Until I judge him as such, he will not come here and bother us.”

“We never talked about what happened.” 

Joseph sat up so he could look at Rook in the eyes. “What is there to talk about? He made us believe we would die and he lied to us.”

Rook didn’t want to ask what Joseph would have done if it had not been a lie. That was not something Joseph needed to dwell on even if the question was burning a hole in his mind.

“I thought I lost you. No matter how short my belief was, it is not something I want to think about.”

Rook smiled and cupped the side of Joseph’s face tenderly. “You’d lose your mind without me.”

“I honestly think that I would. I cannot bear to lose any one again. Especially you, my dear.” He kissed Rook’s palm.

“You really care about me, don’t you?”

Joseph kissed him, gently at first and then passionately claiming his mouth. He touched Rook as if he was afraid he’d disappear, that this was their last moment, and Rook threw himself into it. He wrapped his arms around Joseph’s neck and brought him down. They parted after a few minutes, both breathing against each other.

“I’m so glad we took a leap of faith.”

Joseph laughed and smiled, kissed him again. “So am I. You have no idea how happy you make me. I haven’t felt like this for a very long time.”

Rook wasn’t sure how to reply so he pressed his mouth to Joseph’s and showed him how he felt instead. He pushed at his shoulders and encouraged Joseph to lie back so Rook could straddle him. He ignored the hard length trapped beneath him and his own pleasure. It could wait. He needed to worship Joseph first.

He trailed kisses down the Father’s neck, pressing against his pulse and down to the dip in his throat. He licked his way back up and moved on to Joseph’s chest. The preacher surprised him by gripping his shoulders and pulling him back up.

“You don’t need to do that.”

“i want to. You’re stunning when you coming apart.”

Joseph smiled bashfully, head tilted on the pillow and watching him with half-closed eyes. “I had something else in mind. Another part of me I can gift you, if you’ll accept.”

Rook kissed him and laughed. “Stop speaking so fancy and just tell me what you want.”

Joseph took Rook’s hands in his own and stroked his knuckles. “I want you to fuck me.” He blushed as he spoke and Rook committed that look to memory. He leaned in for another kiss, far gentler.

“Are you certain? Have you done that before?”

“Yes and yes.” To Rook’s surprise, he added, “But that was a long time ago with another beautiful man in my late teens. And that was in the back of his car behind the store where he worked. Not quite as romantic as this.”

“I can make it more romantic, light some candles, scatter some petals, put some smooth jazz on in the background.”

Joseph laughed and shook his head. “You’ll do no such thing. I am more than happy with the current state of this bedroom. Plus, I don’t trust you with fire and the smoke detectors.”

“Oi, that’s not fair. You dating me, not Sharky. You don’t have to worry about fires.”

“I’m so glad.” Rook punched his shoulder playfully, not prepared for Joseph to retaliate by overthrowing him and sending Rook on his back like a flailing turtle. Joseph climbed on him, holding his legs down with his weight and Rook’s wrists pinned to the crumpled sheets. “I thought you’d be stronger. Considering all the chaos you’ve caused in my county.”

“Maybe I want you on top sometimes.” Rook pushed his hips up. “So, I hear you want me to bury my cock deep in your ass. That’s quite a demand. You sure you can take it?”

Joseph leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose. “I can take anything.”

“Then my next question is: do you have any lube? Because I refuse to use only spit on your practically virgin ass.”

“Please don’t call it that. I said I had taken only one other man. I never mentioned my adventures with my wife or the things I do to myself when Lust overcomes me.”

Rook’s eyes went wide and he gripped Joseph’s hips as he straightened his back. He looked so good poised in his lap, strong legs parted so his hard cock bobbed in the air, body stretched out and confident, hair reaching past his collarbones in soft waves. 

“Are you telling me that you were into pegging? Do you have any idea how many jokes you’ve confirmed true by saying that? Adelaide would faint.”

Joseph sighed but his lips trembled like he was holding dearly onto a smile and trying not to laugh.“That stays between us. But, yes. I do enjoy the feeling.”

“You know, all I’m going to think about today is that you finger yourself when you jerk off. I’m going to be hard all day thanks to you.”

“Poor you. Maybe I can do something about that right now.”

Rook groaned, aching where his cock was pressed against Joseph’s ass and unable to do much except twitch and hurt. “Not without lube of some kind.”

“Fine.” Joseph climbed off and Rook was fortuned with a very nice view as he went to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To John’s room.”

Rook watched him go, puzzled and amused. What does John have to do with any of this? Joseph returned a moment later with a water-bottle of lubricant. Oil was written on the label and Rook saw it very close up when Joseph threw it at him. Fetching it had clearly not deterred his excitement. When Joseph climbed back on the bed, Rook stroked his cock appraisingly. Joseph groaned and bucked his hips into the touch.

“Lie down on your chest and put a pillow under your hips.” 

Joseph did as he was told with a roll of his eyes. “I know what to do, darling. Hurry up and get inside me.”

“Ooh, _needy boy_. Is someone greedy for my fingers? Or would you prefer if I just skip that step and fuck you raw?”

Joseph pushed his ass back against Rook’s hips with a barely restrained grin. Rook leaned over him.

“Unlucky for you, I plan to take my time stretching you out. And if you come before I’m inside you, I’ll make you come again. I don’t care how long it takes but I want to feel you tighten around me.”

Joseph groaned deeply. “Yes, please.”

Rook kissed his shoulder and then the back of his head before he settled properly behind him. He grabbed his cheeks, parting them and teasing a thumb over his hole. He pressed in gently just to tease and then squirted oil over his hand, warming it between his palms before massaging it into Joseph’s skin. 

He teased the tip of his index over the hole, poking in slightly. Joseph’s body gave him access easily. After a minute of thrusting it gently, he was able to add a second finger. Joseph groaned deep in his chest and spread his legs further.

Rook let his fingers in to the last knuckle and pushed his fingers downwards, searching and stretching as he explored the impossibly hot body at his mercy. He knew what he was doing, had fucked countless men and women before the army could dig its claws in. Even then, some of the boys in his squad were lonely at night. 

He found the spot he was looking for and made Joseph moan loudly and push back against him. His thumb travelled down his perineum and pushed down at the same time as the fingers inside, effectively pinching his prostate in two places. The noise Joseph made was angelic and for a moment, he feared he’d made the preacher orgasm as his body clenched down like a clamp.

After a moment, Joseph regained his breath and whined. 

“Did you...?”

“No,” Joseph admitted, lolling his head from side to side. “I got really close. I’m ready, I can take you. Please, if you keep doing that, I’ll finish too soon. I’d rather have you inside me when that happens.” 

“If you insist, but I’m definitely doing that next time. I’ll spend an hour massaging you until you come so hard you black out.”

“God, yes.” Joseph seemed to be unaware of his blasphemy so Rook let it go.He sat back and lubed himself up, squeezing the base of his cock tight as he shuddered under the wave of pleasure.

“Last chance to say no. I mean, you can still say no when I’m in you. What I mean is I guess last chance to keep your ass away from a sinner’s cock.”

Joseph laughed. “Rook, darling, if you don’t fuck me now, I’m going to take it from you. Please do it.”

Rook braced one arm on the bed and leaned forward, positioning his cock against the slick hole. He pushed in, rocking his hips into the tight heat. Joseph tensed beneath him as he slipped inside further. Rook watched his cock disappear inside him, felt the pressure increase when Joseph clenched naturally.

“Fuck, you feel so good. Oh God, you’re so tight. Are you okay?”

“I am _so_ okay, I’m perfect right now," Joseph mumbled into the pillow. "Don’t hold back, I can take it.”

Rook wrapped an arm under Joseph’s hips and pulled him up to his knees, pushing deeper until their bodies were flush together. He let out a shaky moan, testing how well he could move. He pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in, holding Joseph in place.

“Oh fuck... Rook, that’s... oh, that’s so good. Keep going. I need it.”

Rook grabbed the sharp bones of his hips, holding tight enough to bruise. Joseph was a mess of choked moans and heavy breathing, _stunning_ , and turning Rook on so much. He was close to the edge so he started using Joseph as just a hole to fuck and take pleasure from. His thrusts became more purposeful, needier and greedier, and Joseph took it like a champ.

“You’re so good, Joseph. You’re so fucking tight, you’re gonna make me cum like this.”

“Do it. I want to feel it inside me. I’m so close.”

Rook wrapped his oiled hand around Joseph’s cock and felt him clench down from the waves of pleasure spiking through him. He jerked him with a tight fist, focusing on the weeping head more than stroking the whole length. 

“Rook, please. Spill inside me, I need to feel it.”

Joseph’s desperate begging sent Rook over the edge. He pumped his hips into Joseph’s, pounding his ass until he felt his load shoot out and paint the inside of his lover. He could feel how much he had come, slicking Joseph with his release as he thrusted into it until the feeling was too intense. He forced himself to stay still and jerked Joseph off roughly, pulling him up into his lap so that his cock stayed buried inside him.

“Rook, I... Oh, God...” Joseph moaned and forced himself to look down and watch as he came over Rook’s moving fist. He soaked his hand and the bed beneath. Joseph’s orgasm punched through him and he braced himself on his hands so he couldn’t collapse into the pillows from the intensity.

Rook eased him off carefully, avoiding the wetness on the sheets. He caught his breath and went to fetch a towel, dampening it before he could drag it across their bodies. When he reached Joseph’s hole, he teased the entrance.

“My cum’s spilling out of you.”

Joseph barely had the strength to nod. “I can feel it. Feels good.”

Rook cleaned the rest of the mess off and threw the towel on the floor, crawling closer now that they were resting and their bodies cooled. 

“That was nice,” Rook stated with a grin, leaning over to kiss Joseph. “Maybe we can do that more often. I’d love to see you perform a sermon with my cum in your ass and a plug keeping it all in.”

The dark blush on Joseph’s cheeks spoke a thousand words and none of them were protests. Rook kissed his forehead.

“Maybe one day. For now, I’m more than content to rest in bed until I can feel my legs again.”

“I can stay in bed a couple more hours.”

“I’m glad we did that. It felt unbelievably good. I didn’t quite realise how much I missed it.”

Rook let Joseph clamber half on top of him. One arm across his chest like a safety belt. It felt right, lying like this and catching their breaths. 

“I realised something yesterday.”Joseph hummed curiously. “You were right all along. I do belong with you. We make a pretty good team.”

“I’m glad you finally see it. We do. Rook, perhaps I’m being too forward but I think that what we now have together is something I want to have for a very long time. As long as you’ll keep me.”

“I guess that’s for a really long time, then.”

\---

They had to leave the safety of their bed eventually. Rook was an active man, unable to keep still for long, and once he’d rested a bit, he needed to get up and do something. Joseph was surprisingly lazier, taking longer to bathe and dress, but they were both hungry.

“I’d like to see the sun,” Rook said when it seemed that Joseph would cook in the bunker. “Plus, we need to know if the snow’s cleared yet.”

Joseph reluctantly agreed and soon they were sat at the kitchen table above ground. He was dressed in a slim white shirt, tucked neatly into his jeans. He looked more like the Father than Joseph Seed, but Rook didn’t mention it. He made them both coffee and stared out of the window.

The snow had melted enough for the trucks to move. Their treads imprinted in the muddy slush. A few guards patrolled outside, wrapped in thick scarfs and gloves, and their dirty-white jumpers painted with Eden’s cross. It was a sight Rook hadn’t seen in a while. He hadn’t missed it.

John came down half an hour later, when they had cleared off their plates, thick layers over his lean frame as if it would help ward off the chill. Rook could feel the warmth from the fireplace down the corridor. John was just being ridiculous.

He poured some coffee for himself and sat with them.

“Morning,” he chanted with an eerie smile. The cold could never really put him down. “How did you both sleep?”

Rook rolled his eyes once he knew where John was steering the conversation. It was obvious from his tone of voice. Joseph was too busy daydreaming, unaware of his surroundings or his brother taking the seat next to his. It was strange but Rook ignored it. Joseph was Joseph.

“Fantastically,” Rook replied with a dry tone.

“Did you pop each other’s cherries yet?” John’s grin was growing wider. Rook wanted to smack it off but that would only encourage him.

“Did Sharky pop yours?”

Rook only meant it as a joke but John went red all of a sudden and stammered. “W-what? No, of course not, why would- He's... You’re an _asshole_ , Deputy.”

Rook grinned and took a gulp of lukewarm coffee. Joseph missed it all, apparently, staring out of the window where a couple of men were unloading a crate of guns from one of their trucks. A normal day in the lives of the Seed family.

“It’s not like that,” John mumbled, catching Rook off-guard. He thought he’d dropped the conversation. “He’s my friend.”

“Really? You don’t hate him anymore?” Rook was genuinely but pleasantly surprised. It seemed the holidays and the gifts had brought them closer. While Sharky never bitched about John as often, Rook hadn’t put the dots together. Not tearing at each other’s throats didn’t mean they were friends, it just meant there was less bloodshed and harsh insults.

“I don’t have much to hate him for at this point.” John trailed off, similar to his brother in that contemplative silence. 

Rook glanced at Joseph and poked John’s hand. He caught the Baptist's attention easily. Rook wouldn’t dare bring up his kidnapping in front of Joseph but he knew it was the main cause of their friction, the wrongs steps they’d taken all along. It was hard to come back from that and to forgive someone. John was a bigger man than Rook in that aspect but Rook couldn’t forgive the man who’d threatened to kill him less than twenty-four hours ago.

So he meant it when he smiled and said, “I’m really glad you’re getting along. He’s kinda like my best friend.”

John smiled too, just a little curve at the very end of his lips, like he was thinking about something and not focusing on keeping his mask on. Rook liked it when they all slipped up, when he got to see his boys as the people they really were outside of Eden’s Gate’s spotlight. _His_ boys, that was a thought.

“I think he’s mine too.” 

And then John realised what he said and that mask hardened again. John was the most difficult to talk to in Rook’s mismatched family and his conversations were always sarcastic and brief. The moments that weren’t were a delight to Rook so he tried to coax more honesty out of him.

“Have you told him?”

“No. Why would I do that?”

“Because Sharky is the closest thing there is to a living teddy bear. I know he comes off as stupid sometimes or like he doesn’t care, but that’s really the opposite. Out of everyone I know, I don’t think you could have picked better.”

John smiled slightly but it looked forced this time. “Not even you?”

Rook glanced at Joseph and realised his eyes were not clouded or lost in thought anymore. He was patiently listening and pretending not to hear. Rook wanted to roll his eyes. 

“No, to be honest.” John looked a little disappointed. Rook was the main attraction of their reaping, the one missing piece of the puzzle. “I don’t think I could give you what you need, not really. Don’t get me wrong, you are a seriously hot piece of ass and I’d totally pick you up at a bar. But I’m not the right guy for you, not for more than a fun night.”

John chuckled and inclined his head in reluctant agreement. Even Joseph’s fingers twitched on the handle of his mug. Rook hid a smirk behind his drink, loving how he could rile up Joseph so easily. He’d never pegged him as the jealous type.

“And you think Boshaw might be?” 

The question was asked so softly Rook barely caught it. John looked shy. Not embarrassed or angry, but nervous. Like he was teen with a crush. Rook thought it was _cute_.

“I think Sharky hasn’t got a lot of experience with relationships or friends but he’s got the heart for it. Spend some time with him, let him know how you feel. Maybe he’s the same.”

“I thought he was straight.”

Rook shrugged and waved a hand from side to side. “Yeah, and I thought I’d arrest you lot and go on about my day job. Yet here I am, screwing one of you and giving relationship advice to the other. I don’t _know_ , John. I’m not omniscient! _Just go and ask_. He’s more than capable of explaining where he stands. Most likely, he’ll overshare and you’ll get stuck with the knowledge of things you never wanted to know about.”

John frowned, remembering that night they shared in the bunker talking about their sex life. John had won by a majority for experience and variety but Sharky was not that far behind. Oversharing was Boshaw’s middle name.

“You’re right. I’ll go find him. And, Deputy? Thanks for finally confirming you’re fucking my brother.” 

Rook wasn’t quick enough to lunge out with a fist. John dodged and was out of the kitchen instantly, his laugh carrying all the way up the stairs. 

“I hate him sometimes.”

Joseph sighed. “Well, you did confirm it. Thank you for that.” There was no malice in his voice, only a trace of annoyance.

“Sorry.”

Joseph waved him off. “It’s fine. I’m surprised they didn’t know already.”

“Yeah, you’d think they would have heard all the noise you made this morning.”

Rook was getting too slow, really, because Joseph’s punch _did_ land and his shoulder stung. He rubbed it and glared before making a new pot of coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I now have a thing for Joseph swearing and blaspheming when he's getting laid. He's just a man after all, can't hold back from Lust for long.


	16. Watching the stars

Jacob took a truck alone up the mountains. The snow was deeper and the lakes frosted over with a thin layer of ice. The bombs had stopped the winter from truly freezing the county. He remembered their third winter here when the lakes had frozen so much that the local kids had taken up their skates and danced across the ice. Most of their parents didn’t know and the eldest ones hadn’t reached double digits yet, so he’d assigned a few followers to keep watch from the snowy banks. The ice held up and the next winter, they did it again.

There was no one outside any more. Jacob didn’t mind the lack of people, it meant less noise, less distractions. But the animals had left as well and not all of his Judges had survived the fear and confusion. 

He drove to the Veteran’s Centre where it was manned by only a handful of men. He needed people to keep it safe from looters. There was no power to the building and they’d drained the resources quickly, so it was more or less a home for the people he’d chosen and the Judges he’d kept alive.

Behind the high walls was a smaller building, fenced with corrugated metal. It was put up quickly and it was not built strong enough to withstand his Judges. As he approached, a chunk of cold meat in his hand, he heard the loud barks of a dog he could not tame.

Boomer caught sight of Jacob through a gap in the fence and started running in circles, rearing up on his muddy hind legs and never once pausing in his noisy happiness. Jacob was the only one who dared to pet the dog, let alone let him take the meat from his palm.

It was the Deputy’s dog, after all. A vicious beast who tackled enemies to the ground and ripped their throats to shred, the dog no bullet could strike and no flames could burn. 

He patted the dog’s side, ruffling his matted fur, as it ate quickly. The dog wasn’t starved, he had around the clock care from those brave enough to pass a food bowl under the door of the enclosure. Boomer just loved treats and Jacob couldn’t resist his big, brown eyes and small whines. 

Boomer looked up at him and spun around madly. Time for a walk.

Jacob clipped a leash to his dirty collar, only because he’d once let Boomer run wild and found him half an hour later desperately clawing at the Judge’s cages in a bravely stupid attempt to mate with one. Jacob led him away from the wolves, until he was far from them and any men Boomer wanted to chew on. 

Once in the wilderness, he bent down and unclipped the leash. Boomer watched him for a second and Jacob nodded at him. An understanding between man and animal. Boomer sprinted off into the trees.

Getting into a travel cage was difficult. Like his owner, Boomer didn’t like being trapped. In the end, one young man held the cage upwards and Jacob quite literally dropped the dog down into it. They latched it shut and eased the cage down so Boomer could sleep if he wanted.

Instead, he howled and barked the whole way back to the ranch. It was like he knew where they were going and he wanted Rook to know he was coming. 

Another thing Boomer did not like was baths. Jumping into a lake was fine but God forbid he be cleaned. Jacob had more water on him than the dog did as he scrubbed soap into his fur. The water was almost black with dirt, leaves floating on the surface from Boomer's morning run. 

Should anyone have left the ranch and gone towards the hangar, they would have seen Jacob on his knees, his shirt and hair drenched, and struggling to hold Boomer down in the plastic tub. But people were smarter than to go seek Jacob out. He was barely approachable to begin with but the patience he'd given his followers before had long since evaporated. Jacob gave out strict orders and expected them to be carried out without stutter. Their livelihoods depended on it now more than before when supplies could be bought or stolen. What existed still was all they had left and Jacob needed it to last. As much as he didn’t care for the people around him, even he could admit that he couldn’t do this alone. 

There were too many blind spots, so much ground left unwatched, and as fierce as he was, Jacob couldn't run an entire county on his back alone. The mountains he could hold, but the fields and the forests of the Valley and the rivers and hills of the Henbane were a different world to him. He needed patrols, trucks, and the men to wield it all. A lone wolf couldn't survive without its pack, not even an alpha.

Jacob did become colder, less willing to talk, but the motive stayed the same. Survival. The weak had been culled but it was up to him to ensure the strong _remained_ strong.

Boomer shook himself dry once he was let out of the tub. He sniffed the ground and then the air, his body tensing for a second before he tried to sprint off down the runway. Only Jacob was quicker and clipped his leash on, and Boomer realised he would choke himself to death before Jacob let go. So he whined and clawed the dirt but followed the man into the hangar. Jacob passed him over to a guard for ten minutes and Boomer’s begging earned him cuddles but not the freedom to run outside and dirty himself again.

Jacob returned with dry clothes and took the leash without a word. Boomer never lost his excitement, spinning in circles and yapping like he was a young pup and not an old boy. 

\---

Rook knew the ranch well. Some of the rooms had been locked when he’d taken over but a swift kick usually ended his brief problems. John’s office was so well guarded that Rook nearly twisted his ankle from the force of his impact, unstoppable versus immovable. It had taken a very smart and fiddly climb with his grapple from the roof down to the window on the second floor. The glass had shattered easily but he hadn’t escaped without cuts on his arms. 

John’s office had been modest in comparison to the rest of the house. A large oak desk, shelves packed with law books and other garbage Rook didn’t care about, maps, and Eden’s Gate propaganda on the walls; all tucked into the room where John did most of his work. There was a laptop hidden in the middle desk drawer, shiny and thin and far too expensive for Rook to ever own unless he nicked it. It had been password-protected of course and Rook at the time, months ago, didn’t have the patience to find out what it was.

Rook had it in his hands now, sat in John’s stupidly comfortable leather chair, and stared at the screen. He didn’t care what secrets John had, whether they were confessions, plans for the cult, or even his damn Grindr account. At least that’s what Rook believed was on there because he knew John, and the man definitely had access social media under Joseph’s nose.

No, what he wanted to know was whether he could get a signal. His phone was long, long gone. Either at the bottom of a lake or on some mountain side, unattainable and useless. 

Part of him sighed and told him to stop because he would be disappointed and that would ruin his mood. But another said to try, just to check. If there was a signal, it meant the world might not have completely ended. After all, seven billion people couldn’t just be killed so easily. He was alive. Others should be too. Maybe they were working on restoring the world.

“What are you doing in here?”

Rook barely had the foresight not to slam the screen down. It was too brittle to handle his clumsy paws. John stood in the doorway, his black sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He wore it without a vest and it hung loosely where he’d thinned drastically. Clearly he’d warmed up enough from the fire.

“I, uh...” Rook ducked his head. It wasn’t his home, never really had been, and he sat at John’s desk like it was an okay thing to do. “I wanted to know something.”

“Have you guessed the password?” 

John didn’t seem angry. He stepped into the room and stood beside Rook, leaning over his shoulder.

“No, I haven’t even tried. Sorry, I shouldn’t be in here. It’s not my house.”

Rook moved to stand but John held him down. He chuckled softly.“Look at you. Apologising. Never thought I’d see the day.” Rook glanced up at him bashfully. “Here. Let me.”

John typed the password too quickly for Rook to pick it up, and the screen changed to a family photo. The three brothers were standing together, arms over shoulders and all smiles and laughs. Jacob was in the middle, a rare smile on his face, holding a proud Joseph under his left arm and John, laughing, under his right. Behind them was Joseph’s church, newly constructed and a white beacon as the evening light brushed over the freshly-painted wood. 

“We had just finished the church,” John explained as Rook took it all in with awe. “Five minutes before, Joseph had put his book down on the podium. One of our first followers took that.”

Rook noted how they weren’t dressed sharply like usual. All had worn, ripped jeans and faded shirts stained with paint smudges. There was white smeared across John’s cheek and he still had safety gloves on. It looked very much like the boys had run out and posed quickly for the camera. 

“You all look so happy,” Rook finally said.

“We were,” John mused, his mind far away from his body. “It was all so simple back then. Our new lives ahead of us. Anyways, what did you want my laptop for?”

“To check for a signal. I don’t know. To find proof that people are still alive.”

They both glanced to the bottom corner of the screen. “There isn’t one.”

“Yeah, I guessed that.” Rook couldn’t muster up as much disappointment as he thought he could. “I just wanted to see for myself. Sorry about going in here.”

“It’s fine. It’s our home now. I’m willing to share.” John glanced at the boarded-up window and sighed. “At least you left my office in one piece this time.”

“Yeah, sorry about that too.”

Just as Rook stood, he heard a sharp and excited bark from downstairs. He knew that sound.

“Boomer?” 

He ran out of the room, leaving John confused but following close behind. 

Rook fell to his knees to embrace his dog, holding him close and laughing as Boomer put his paws in his lap and climbed up to lick his face. 

“Oh my God. You’re okay.... You’re okay! Who’s my good boy? You are! I missed you so much.”

Rook dissolved into a crying mess of mumbled words, half coherent as he buried his face in Boomer’s neck. The dog whined and barked in his ear, tail wagging a thousand miles per hour. 

When he pulled back, he noticed the leash held taunt from his collar. Rook followed it and saw Jacob standing there, observing him calmly.

“Where was he?”

“Underground for some time. He’s been living at the centre since I found him. Here.”

Jacob passed him the handle and walked away, as if what he had done was a simple task. Rook wanted to believe he gave him space on purpose but Jacob wasn’t kind. He probably didn’t want to see Rook snivelling on the ground over some mutt.

“So this is the infamous Boomer,” John called out from the bottom step where he’d taken a seat and watched the free show. Despite Rook’s common meetings with the Seeds, they’d never met his dog. Rook had always kept him far from the violence. He couldn’t risk being captured with Boomer at his side. He knew now that the Seeds wouldn’t have shot his dog but back then, it had been on his mind.

“Yeah, I adopted him. Hey, Boomer, this is John. He’s a friend.”

The dog whined and flattened his ears, sniffing in John’s direction before approaching carefully. John extended a hand and let Boomer take his time exploring and licking. 

“I think he likes you,” Rook admitted as he shuffled closer to the stairs. He was within arm reach of both his dog and John.

“How can you tell?”

“He hasn’t torn your hand off.”

John laughed awkwardly. “Figures. The Deputy’s dog is as loyal and feral as the Deputy himself.”

Boomer went back to Rook, settling against his legs and climbing on them for more attention. Rook ruffled his head and scratched behind his ears.

“Damn right.”

John sighed and petted Boomer carefully, watching for a flash of teeth. “I know this doesn’t excuse my brother for what he did, but surely it’s a start?”

“You think he did this to make it up to me?” It was a possibility Rook didn’t want to consider because it gave the soldier a heart and Rook was happy believing Jacob didn’t have one.

“Yes,” John answered simply, though the whole mess with Jacob was the furthest thing from simple. “ _Killing_ you was payback. That’s only fair and you know it. Although I don’t want to shoot you for crashing my plane, at least not any more, I did have time to accept what happened between us. And I’ve lived with you. Jacob doesn’t have that experience, he’s still boiling with rage.”

“Are you saying I deserved this?”

John quickly held up his hands in defence. “Not like that. The both of you have shit to resolve but I do understand my brother’s thoughts. He’s not as complex as he likes to think he is. Now, what he did to Joseph was sheer stupidity. He was overwhelmed and took it too far. I think the dog is his way of apologising to you.”

“He still has to apologise to Joseph.”

“Yes and that won’t be easy. My brothers have never fought like this. Jacob hates Joseph for falling for you, he thinks Joseph betrayed our family. And I think Jacob just hates you in general.”

Rook laughed but there was no humour. He looked at John. “I’m not giving Joseph up just so Jacob can sleep better at night.”

“Nor should you.” John glanced away, eyes staring into nothingness. “Joseph seems like an easy man to please and when you’ve done something right, he showers you with praise. But making him _happy_ is another story. I can’t pretend I knew what Joseph was like when he was married but what happened changed him so much from the person I knew. I don’t think he thought it would be possible to find someone again.”

He paused and reached down to grab Rook’s hand, untangling it from the fur. Rook watched and let him.

“Whatever it is you’re doing to my brother, whatever you’re saying, I can see a change in him. I don’t mean to put unnecessary pressure on you, Rook, but please keep doing what you’re doing. Regardless of what’s happened in the last few days, I’ve never seen Joseph so happy and unburdened.”

“Is this the part where you’ll threaten bodily harm if I hurt Joseph?” 

“I think you already know that. I just...” John drifted off. Rook leaned up on his knees to hug him. “You’re one of us, you know. You’ve got as much right to the Seed name as any of us.”

Rook smiled and settled back down, their hands linked. He pulled away after a few minutes of comfortable silence because there was something he needed to do.

\---

Like his brothers, Joseph didn’t like the cold. He’d never been raised to wear layers over layers of wool, or thick gloves that made it hard to move his fingers, or a scarf that strangled _and_ suffocated him at the same time. He threw on a thick jacket over his shirt and crossed a grey scarf around his neck loosely. His hands fisted in his pockets where the wind couldn’t bite at his thin skin. 

He needed a walk to clear his head. The sun was shining between dark clouds and the snow barely drifted in the breeze, crunching under his boots. The forest behind the ranch was still and silent, not a single rustle in the leaves or the chirp of a bird. It gave him time to think.

He couldn’t avoid Jacob forever, not if he wanted to heal the scars his brother had created between them. At some point, they needed to sit down and work through this. Joseph couldn’t do that yet, not when he was vividly reminded of Jacob’s cruelty every time he closed his eyes.

With the knowledge that the air was breathable, it opened Joseph’s mind to more possibilities than just staying down in the bunker. He could build the paradise he’d prayed and prepared himself for. The cult may have been scattered thinly but they were still loyal. Joseph needed to find out if he still commanded their respect when so much had gone wrong.

For that, he also needed Rook. He couldn’t go behind his back, not for something this important. That was a talk they had to have soon.

It also meant that he could rebuild the community piece by piece. The ranch was the safest location in the Valley and there was fertile land all around. They could grow crops, erect buildings and restore the power going through the region. There were people among his flock who knew about this, it’s why he convinced them to join. They had a very strong fighting chance now that it wasn’t just four people surviving.

Joseph headed back to the ranch with a smile and a plan. He would bring them all to Eden, even if he had to make it from the scraps of the old world. As he got closer, he heard the unfamiliar sound of barking.

Just on the porch of the ranch was an old dog, skittering in circles around Rook. He spotted Joseph and barked louder, startling Rook. Old habits die hard and Rook’s hand flew to his side for the gun that used to be there.

“It’s only me,” Joseph announced, waving as he walked closer, unbothered by his partner’s happy-trigger reaction. Rook was beaming with joy. “Who’s this?”

“My dog, Boomer. The one I told you about. Jacob had him locked up at Vet’s centre, brought him here half an hour ago.”

Boomer understood that the strange man with long hair, and who incidentally resembled his favourite snack, was not a threat. He didn’t come closer to investigate but he relaxed, allowing the man closer until he was standing beside Rook.

“I see. Are you going for a walk?”

“I was looking for you, actually. Come inside, I’ll make us some hot cocoa.”

Joseph blinked. “We have that?”

“Sure, John showed me around. How do you not know? It’s your house.”

Rook went back inside, Boomer at his heels with his tail wagging, and Joseph close behind. “I didn’t really concern myself with that. Our followers took care of groceries.”

Rook threw him a questioning look but once inside the kitchen, he was quick to fill the mugs. There was only water and the ready-made cocoa mix but it was better than nothing. He passed one to Joseph and took his own, heading right back outside where he started walking towards the back of the ranch. 

“What are you doing? It’s warm inside, let’s stay there,” Joseph complained.

“And miss the view?”

Rook wasn’t wrong. The fence that lined the back of the property wasn’t just for show. The hill rolled down drastically and beyond it was a sea of snowy pines and tall mountains half hidden beneath the clouds. It was breath-taking. The river that ran below rushed noisily against the rocks. John had picked the most beautiful place to live.

Rook pushed snow from the wooden camping chair and sat down, brushing flakes from his wet hand onto his jeans. He clutched the mug tightly. Boomer ran around, sniffing and barking at everything, excited to see new things.

Joseph followed his example, sitting close enough that their elbows bumped on the arm rests.

“I love it here,” Rook admitted after a couple sips and contented sighs. “The second I laid eyes on this place, I was so fucking jealous. But I got why John bought it. The first night I slept here, I stayed awake until the sun came up just over there.” He pointed to the mountains in the distance. “It was so cold but I’ll never regret it. I could see all the stars from the balcony and everything just felt... peaceful, I guess.”

“John was furious that day.” 

Everyone in the county knew how angry John was, yelling it over the airwaves and cursing Rook’s name so often it was a miracle he could take breaths between. Joseph had had to comfort his brother with a bottle of whiskey, despite the cult rules, and the promise that they would take their home back soon.

“I know, I did kinda rub it in. I’m glad you took me back, even if the plan was to stay under the ranch. This place... It’s a real home, you know? Sorry, I’m babbling.”

Joseph shook his head and smiled. “No, it’s alright I’ll admit I never saw it that way, as a home, and I don’t think John did either. Going from penthouses in Atlanta to a backwater county in the middle of nowhere was a culture shock. It was the same for me, I’d never stayed somewhere so expensive and opulent before and it was hard adapting to all the open space and privacy. John bought it for show and because of the runway. I don’t think he’s ever stayed up late to watch the stars or drank hot cocoa in the snow.”

“He’s missing out.”

Boomer was rolling in the grass, kicking up snow and huffing with a pure joy only an animal could express. Rook watched him, didn’t want to miss a moment.

“Rook, I was thinking about something today. I want to give these people a home too, the ones who survived. I’d like to say bringing the cult back but I know you’d disapprove. It would be different this time, my brothers won’t harm anyone. We have land and food, so why not rebuild the world? Not quite how I’d imagined it but it would be a start.”

“That sounds like it needs a lot of careful planning and thinking,” Rook said slowly. He hadn’t thought about the cult in so long. Was Joseph still in charge, or was it Jacob now? 

“It does. So far, it’s just an idea but I would like your help. I don’t think leaving it all up to me would be a good idea.”

“You mean shared leadership?”

“Something like that. I don’t want to repeat my past.”

Rook nodded because he didn’t want that either. He rested his hand over Joseph’s and squeezed it. John was right, Joseph had changed. It was a good thing for all of them, the whole county included. If Joseph was prepared to give everyone a fighting chance and a home to come back to, Rook wanted to be there and see it through.

“I’ve got something to confess,” Rook began after a few minutes of silence. Joseph turned to face him. “I didn’t just bring you out here for hot cocoa and a nice view. There’s something I want to tell you, and what you said earlier made me only believe it more.”

Rook leaned in and closed the gap between them, kissing Joseph’s cold lips and warming him gently with soft touches. He pulled back with a grin, blush across his cheeks, and stared at Joseph’s expectant face. 

“Well? What is it, my dear?”

Rook giggled, because this was embarrassing and he’d never done this before and meant it. He kissed Joseph again and took the moment to pause and gather himself.

“Joseph Seed, I think I’m in love with you.”

Joseph pulled him into another kiss, deeper and more intimate, gasping on his lips and grinning all at the same time. Rook’s insides were doing flips and he grabbed onto the preacher’s jacket, gripping it tightly so he could never pull away. 

Joseph put an inch between them, adoration in his eyes and a fire that Rook had never seen before. Before he could gaze too long into them, Joseph stroked his cheek.

“I love you, too,” he said against Rook’s lips, laughing softly and eyes crinkling with joy. “I mean it, Rook. I love you. You are everything to me.”

They kissed again and only stopped because the wind picked up and the snowflakes fell harder. Once inside, Joseph led Rook by the hand to the fireplace where they curled up on the couch in each other’s arms. Boomer took his place on the rug, warming himself by the flames and keeping a watchful eye on his owner and his strange friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted that scene to be very special and I hope I achieved that.  
> also the goodest boi is here!


	17. Red Flare

Rook shoved his bag in the backseat of his four-door pickup, holding the door open for Boomer to climb in and make himself comfortable. He closed it after him and waited for Sharky to do the same, settling in the passenger’s seat with a rifle leaned against his knees.

“Ready when you are, Dep,” Sharky called out, slapping the dashboard enthusiastically. 

Rook glanced back at the ranch where Joseph was watching him. He smiled and waved goodbye.

“I’ll be back in a few days. I’ll radio in every night.” 

“Be safe, both of you.”

Rook nodded and held a thumb up, climbing into the truck and turning the engine on. It rumbled deeply, still warm from the last driver. He wiped a few flakes from the windshield and started off down the road, catching Joseph in the mirror as he waved and retreated back into the warmth of the house.

“Just like old times, right? God, I missed this. Too bad we’re not hunting stuff as well but I’ll take what I can get.” Sharky wanted to switch the radio on, let it really be like the old days of good music, gunfire, and the high chance of death lurking around the corner. Rook only missed it in memory. He didn’t want to go and kill people anymore, not when there were so few left.

“Alright, first things first," Rook started, "We hit up the bunkers in the Valley. Joseph and I did go through a few on our way here last week but they were empty. I was thinking we go back through town, search inside for any clues and then, depending on whether we find something, we can head up to the Whitetails. The militia had a pretty decent hideout.”

“Sounds good. But what if they don’t want to come back with us? I mean, we’re cool with the Seeds or at least two thirds of them, but Eli’s old lot won’t be.”

Rook shrugged. “As long as we know they’re alive, they can do what they want. We’ve got the Geiger-counter as proof that it’s safe outside.”

“Okay, good. Cause I like what we’ve got going on back home, just us lot. I mean, of course I want people to be around but not, you know... breathing down our necks and stepping on our toes.”

“It’s our home, Sharky. Don’t worry, it’s not becoming a camp for refugees. We’ll tell them where we are and that we’re going around fixing things up. It’s not an open invitation to stay with us.”

Sharky sighed and rubbed his eyes. He had slept in his own room last night when John had needed his space and Sharky hadn’t had the best night. He kept waking up in fear, mostly of John’s revenge or the shit he’d seen when the world went up in flames. Sometimes he was rooted to the ground; unable to run as the heat and the dust came closer, burning him alive. 

The town came into view, smothered in white. Rook parked beside the auto-repair and let Boomer out.

“Let’s find our people, Boom,” he said firmly, petting the dog’s head before he sprinted off in a flurry of black and grey. “Sharky, you take the bar and the garage. I’ll take the shops and houses.”

“You got it, boss.”

Sharky shouldered his rifle and headed off into the garage. Rook jogged across the road to the store where the door was smashed in and the shelves were empty. Snow had blown in and rook almost missed the faint imprint of a boot. It was small and light and it was fresh enough that the snow hadn’t covered it up yet.

Rook scouted out the shop but it was empty. The footsteps led out through the employee exit and headed down and around the building. It faded across the road where trucks had passed through earlier that day on their way to the ranch. He found them again just before the steps to the bar, pointing towards the door.

He followed quietly and took the pistol from his holster, aimed down to the ground and held between two hands. There were flakes of snow on the wood like someone had shaken it off. He cleared the ground floor and its storerooms. He climbed up the stairs, clinging to the wall so his weight wouldn’t make the steps creak. He had no clue who it could be but they had to be small, possibly female, judging from the shoe size.

There was door stopping him from reaching the first floor but as he turned the handle, he realised it wasn’t locked. He gave it a slow push, peering into the room before entering.

“Stay where you are. Put your gun on the ground. Now,” a woman yelled, stepping out from behind the door and holding up a shotgun. 

“Joey?” Rook laughed, smiling at her, even as he placed the pistol down. “It’s me, Rook.”

Hudson gasped behind her mask, her grip on the gun wavering before she dropped it at her side and grabbed Rook. 

“Rook! You’re okay!” She pulled him into a bear hug, squeezing the life out of him. “What are you doing out here? Where’s your mask?”

“It’s okay, I don’t need one. Neither do you. There’s no radiation out here.”

She pulled a face, considering his words carefully, before she unclasped her mask. Hudson took a deep breath, all sorts of emotions in her eyes, and finally let it out when she didn’t die on the spot. She punched Rook in the arm.

“Where the fuck have you been? One second we’re arresting Joseph and the next I wake up in an empty car and Pratt’s dragging me out.”

Rook rubbed his stinging arm and glared. “I was with Joseph. It’s a really long story. Sharky’s with me, we’re trying to find survivors.”

She paused, as if she wasn't prepared for any sort of explanation. “Oh, well in that case, I can take you to them. We’ve got a whole bunch of people up in the Wolf’s Den.”

“That was our next stop.”

Hudson grinned and hugged him again, less painful this time but just as intense. “Come on, I’ll take you.”

Sharky had never been properly introduced to Hudson but he took the hug and the smiles in stride and let her ride shotgun. Boomer laid in his lap, all dog smell and drool. Rook drove over the speed limit, if there was even such a thing now, despite the snow. The main road was flattened by tyres but as he took a small road up to the Den, all he could do was talk Hudson’s ear off about the last five months. It was probably six already but no one was counting anymore.

She had plenty to say about Joseph and John, mostly that she was disappointed in Rook for not ending their lives. Rook stopped her short, all defensive and restrained anger all of a sudden, and then he told her Joseph was his lover and that the Seeds were his family now too. Hudson kept her words filtered after that. 

Sharky didn’t say much, half listening to the ex-cops' chatter. Boomer seemed equally bored. 

They reached the Den and Hudson knocked on the doors in code. Someone unlocked them and Hudson stepped back as the doors were pushed outwards.

“Hey, Wheaty, I brought some friends,” she said, stepping down into the bunker.

“Where’s your mask?”

“It’s okay. Rook will explain.”

Wheaty’s head snapped towards Rook, taking him in with wide eyes. “You’re alive! Holy shit!”

“Language,” Hudson chided, already at the bottom and glancing up. “Let’s go, we don’t have all day to stand around gawking.”

Rook patted Wheaty’s shoulder as he followed Hudson, Sharky and Boomer right behind him. Hudson led them through the maze of corridors, catching the eye of several people huddled up in the common area. 

“This way,” Hudson called out, catching Rook’s wrist when he lingered too long. He’d been right, there were survivors and more than he'd imagined. 

She took them to a small room in the back, converted into a private office. She knocked on the door and let herself in.

“Sheriff? There’s someone you need to see.”

Earl sat at his desk, back to the door. “It can wait.”

Rook stepped inside, a grin on his face. “Are you sure about that, Sheriff?”

Earl spun in his chair, the same shock and awe on his face that Wheaty had. He stood and crossed the space, gathering Rook into his arms. He held him there for a moment and then took Rook’s face into his old hands.

“I never doubted you were alive. You tough son of a bitch.”

“it’s good to see you too, Earl.”

Earl let him go, observing the others Hudson had dragged back. “I see you found your friends.”

“Yeah, we’ve got a lot to talk about, Sheriff,” Hudson said, crossing her arms. “Rook’s been a busy boy.”

\---

Earl offered Rook some coffee and sat him down on the couch in his office. It doubled as his room, sleep and work combined efficiently between four walls crowded with newspaper and old junk Eli had collected to document the cult.

“After the crash, I woke up to a world on fire," Earl said, eyes fixed on Rook. "Everything around us was burning. It was like walking through Hell. Joey and Staci were unconscious and Joseph was gone, so were you. I woke them up, pulled them out. Took them to shelter where we waited for the fires to die down. We didn’t know what to do or where to go. Everything was gone and we thought we were going to die from the radiation. Still, I remembered Eli Palmer’s bunker and I thought to myself, that’s where people would go.

“Turns out I was right. They gave us so many tablets and I don’t think I’ve ever been scrubbed down that hard. But the Whitetails gave us a home, a purpose. See, we’ve been doing the same as you. Going bunker to bunker, looking for survivors and supplies. We’ve grown by eighteen people so far but clearly, we’ve missed a lot.”

Earl paused to drink, smiling tiredly at Rook and his friends. Rook looked healthy, skinny but alive and fit.

“There’s not enough suits for us to go out and really search, so we’ve been limiting it to two people per week. Hudson and Pratt were on duty today. He should be back soon. At least wait until he comes. You wouldn’t believe how much we’ve missed you, Rookie.”

Rook smiled sincerely. “I missed you all, too. I’ve got so much to tell you but the first thing is this.”He grabbed his bag from the side of the couch and dug through the front pocket for the counter. Hudson and Whitehorse exchanged glances.“There’s no radiation in the Valley. I’m not certain about the far East of the county but so far, there’s barely been a blip. We don’t need the suits or the masks anymore.” 

“The bombs dropped too far for us to get more than the heat. That’s what caused the fire,” Sharky explained, watching as Rook passed it to Earl carefully. 

“This changes a lot of things,” Earl stated in awe as he examined it carefully before handing it back. “We’ll be able to expand our search and let more people outside. I’m sure you can agree being stuck underground isn’t the most fun thing to do. People here are restless and malnourished.”

“That’s another reason we’re out here,” Rook began. “I’ve been staying with Joseph this whole time. Sharky and John joined us soon after, and we’ve had time to smooth things out between us. We’re staying at the ranch now and we’ve got the space to start rebuilding our world. We need more people and supplies to get us started but we can do it together.”

“You want us to work alongside the cult?” Hudson barked a laugh. “Have you forgotten what they did to us?”

“No, of course not. But we’ve all suffered from the bombs and now’s the time to reunite and bring life back to the county. Joseph’s agreed never to let the past happen again. He’s not making another cult.”

Earl sighed and leaned back in his chair, coffee forgotten and going cold. “You want us to trust that manipulator’s words?”

“I want you to trust me. I know you won’t believe it until you see it, but Joseph has changed and so has John.”

Joey frowned and looked away. Rook felt bad for mentioning John near her but he was family now and that meant accepting what had happened, and learning from it.

“Convincing people to work with the cult, or what’s left of it, won’t be easy, Rook,” Earl stated. “You’re asking people to put aside their anger and you’ve met the locals, they’re pissed.”

“All we want is a future where our people can unite. I drove through Fall’s End, Earl, everything was forgotten and it was dead. The whole county is dead. Go outside, you won’t hear a single bird chirping. We can’t keep hiding in our bunkers for the rest of time. And when people start coming out, we can’t start shooting at each other. There’s not enough of us left.”

Hudson huffed. She was one of the people unwilling to let her anger go. Rook knew it wouldn’t be easy to get her to see the truth. But Earl was simpler, he could see the potential and he was calculating the risks. Rook glanced at Sharky, both hoping the cops would agree.

“What is it that Joseph’s offering exactly?” Earl finally broke the silence. 

“To start planting crops, restoring power to the town, make peace. It’s only been an idea he discussed yesterday, he doesn’t have a plan yet. There were people in the cult who worked with electricity and they could easily fix a lot of problems. The ranch is solar-powered. We could do that for the town instead of relying on fuel.”

“It’s possible. You’d need to find those people, though.”

Rook nodded and gestured between them all. “We’ll get there a lot quicker if we search together.”

Rook knew he had Earl in his pocket when the old man sighed and nodded, sitting up and leaning with his elbows on his knees. Hudson faded into the background, torn between wanting to please Rook and hating the Seeds. She slipped out of the room without a word.

As Rook stood to follow her out, Earl grabbed his shoulder. 

“Are you sure you can trust them? Joseph always wanted you, right from the very beginning, and he’s got you doing his work now. And John... the man’s a ticking bomb. Is the other one alive too?”

“Yes. Jacob’s alive. I wasn’t trying to spare them, Earl. I’ve just got to learn to check for a pulse. And I’m not doing Joseph’s work, I’m not one of his followers. I want what’s best for Hope County. We can’t keep living like this, hiding and shooting each other.”

Earl patted his shoulder and stepped back, a tired but kind smile on his face. “I can’t say you’re wrong. Just... You be careful, Rookie. I’ve lost you too many times already. Feel free to stick around as long as you want. I’m sure you’ll give these people hope just by saying hello.”

Earl let him leave, nodding his thanks to Sharky and patting his shoulder too. Boomer jogged out after Rook, sniffing at the new people. They hadn’t seen a dog in half a year and he was more than pleased with the amounts of cuddles and praises he was gifted.

* * *

It was already nightfall by the time Pratt came back. The second he saw Rook, he threw himself at him. There was laughs and a few tears shed, and after a few minutes of explanation they ended up outside.Sharky stayed in, politely keeping a distance as he interacted with the folks in the bunker. Boomer was allowed out but he stayed close.

“You just don’t die, do you?” Staci mumbled as he lit a cigarette. Rook declined one. “Man, what a fucked-up world we live in. They really blew each other up, no care about the little people.”

“They never cared to begin with.” 

They leaned against a rock and watched the clouds drift. Not a light in the dark except the flare of red from Pratt’s cigarette. 

“So, hitching it up with the Seeds? That’s something. What happened to killing them all?” There was no malice in Staci’s tone.

“Turns out I’m bad at killing people. It’s been good, though. Joseph takes a lot of care and John’s not the worst company. He mostly sticks to Sharky nowadays.”

“And Jacob?” Staci raised a brow when Rook said nothing. “Oh, please, he’s alive too. The other two wouldn’t like you so much if he was really dead.”

“They did but you’re right. He is and I wish more than anything he wasn’t.”

“How come? I thought they were all as bad as each other.” Staci blew smoke upwards and shuffled closer to avoid the chill of the night air.

“We didn’t know it was safe to breathe without a mask until a few days ago. Jacob dragged Joseph and I outside, made me say my last words and all that and took it off me. I thought I was gonna die and I wasn’t as angry as I thought I’d be. But then he did the same to Joseph.”

Staci turned towards him in shock. “He pretended to kill his own brother? No fucking way. Why?”

“He thinks Joseph’s betrayed him. I want to kill him but then I’d lose both Joseph and John, and they’re my friends now.”

“So you’re stuck on what to do? Jesus, your life is insane. I don’t know what to offer up.”

Rook shook his head. “Neither do I but Jacob did give me my dog back. It’s Joseph I’m worried about. He’s the one who’s been betrayed here and I don’t know if he can walk it off.”

“Leave it.” Staci shrugged and flicked the last of his cigarette into the snow. “It’s their problem, not yours. Jacob’s done some dumb shit and it’s Joseph problem. He’ll handle it. Are you going back to them tonight?”

“No. I’m heading east, going to search near the FANG centre and head down to the Henbane. See if anyone’s lurking about. Reminds me, I need to radio in with Joseph. Let him know I’m okay.”

“Aww... Alright, go call your boyfriend. I’m sure he misses you lots already.” Staci was clearly joking but Rook ducked his head. “What? No... _No_ , seriously? Is he actually your- For God’s sake, Rookie, why are you banging Montana’s most wanted?”

“I can list the reasons if you want. Would you prefer it alphabetically or- _Ow_ , don’t punch me! I keep getting punched today!”

Rook rubbed his arm and glared. Staci scoffed and chuckled, smacking his back good-naturedly.“Well, at least now I understand why you’re so eager to make peace being us and the cult. Your booty call depends on it.”

“Fuck off, Pratt. He’s not... Joseph’s more than a good fuck. I told him I loved him yesterday.”

Staci whistled. “Damn, okay, that was unexpected. And what, did he say it back?” Rook nodded, grinning like a lovesick fool, which he indeed was. “Christ, you’re a strange guy, but I’m glad. You know, despite all this shit, you’ve still got someone special out of it. Very special. Well, I’m gonna head back inside or my balls are gonna freeze off. Go check in with your boyfriend, Rookie. And don’t you dare start something dirty over the airwaves. I don’t want to wake up and hear you jerking off through my radio.”

Rook went red and smacked Staci in the chest. “Jesus Christ, Pratt, I do have some decency!”

“Some. You _are_ screwing a crazy, religious cult leader who’s in love with you. Oh gross, don’t pull that face.”

“What face? It’s my _face_. What, do you want me to wear a mask?”

“That cutesy I’m-so-in-love look, you get all soft and ugh... You’re all red too. Stop that. I’m going inside. Don’t play tonsil tennis with the radio or I’ll shove it so far up your ass even Joseph won’t be able to find it.”

“Goodnight, asshole,” Rook called out as Staci opened the bunker doors. Staci waved at him and disappeared down.

Rook grabbed the radio he’d clipped to his belt and flicked it on. It crackled to life.“Preacher one, this is Deputy Rook. Come in, over.” He pulled the radio away as he giggled. 

“Preacher one? Really?” John answered, voice drawn with amusement. 

“Hey, John, where’s Joseph?”

“Currently frying some vegetables for dinner. Smells wonderful in here. You’re missing out, Deputy.”

Rook’s stomach grumbled. He wanted fried veggies now. Damn John to Hell for tempting him.“Lucky you. Why is it that Joseph’s cooking nice food the second I’m gone? Should I be worried?”

John laughed. “Maybe. Hold on.” 

Rook didn’t have anything else to do. He stared in the direction of the ranch, hidden behind hills and forests. 

“Okay, Joseph can talk now. Have a good night, Rook, be safe out there.”

“Thanks. You too.”

Joseph took over, his smooth voice greeting Rook and making his face flush. God, he was acting like a teen again. All nervous around his crush. Saying those words had clearly impacted him just as much as Joseph.

“Good evening, my dear.”

“Hey, Joseph. So John tells me you’re cooking something nice without me.”

Joseph sighed. “My brother has a big mouth.” He said it as though he was talking to John as well. “My apologies but I was sick of canned pork, and Michael brought some food up from the freezer for us. I couldn’t resist. Tell me, have you made any progress?”

“Yes, you wouldn’t believe it. I found my old team; Deputies Pratt and Hudson, and Sheriff Whitehorse. They were hiding in the Wolf’s Den this whole time. I talked to Earl and he was willing to hear out your plan. It will take a long time to make peace between us all but at least they’re listening.”

“That’s very good news, Rook. You’ve done well.”

“I’m heading towards the FANG centre tomorrow and we’ll keep searching east. I’ll radio in the evening, let you know what happened.”

“Please do. I have to go now or John will burn the kitchen down. _Yes, you will_. _John, please get away from the stove._ Sorry, Rook, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good night.” Joseph paused and finally said, softly, “I love you.”

Rook grinned. “I love you too. Night night. Go save your kitchen. Over and out.”

He switched the radio off after a minute, just in case Joseph wanted to say anything else. He turned back into the bunker and joined Sharky in the shared dorms. 

The beds were blankets and thin mattresses on the floor, along with the actual bunks. The room was packed with people, some sleeping already despite the small reading lamps dotted around. He stepped carefully around body parts until he reached Sharky, already lying down with Boomer only a few feet away.

“Hey man,” he greeted Rook with a smile. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, all good. Checked in with Joseph already. We’ll leave early in the morning.”

“No problem. You did good today. That was a good speech.” They both laughed quietly and were hushed harshly by someone close by.

“Thanks. Let’s get some sleep.” 

Sharky hummed in agreement and curled up close, letting Rook lie beside him. He wrapped an arm around Rook’s waist and made sure the younger man could nuzzle his face into his neck and chest and still be able to breathe.

Boomer noticed his owner was back and shuffled closer, resting his head next to Rook’s. Guarding and watching over him so they could never be separated again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice special chapter for you guys! Hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you thought :)


	18. The Chapel on the hill

“Any clue when I get to see your pretty face again?” Staci teased as he watched Rook pack his car with one human, one dog, and too much canned pork. He didn’t lift a finger to help.

“Soon, I think. We’re driving east and then heading back to the ranch. After that, we have to start figuring out a plan to unite our people.”

“Always the hero, aren’t you, Rookie?”Rook shrugged. Things were usually dumped on his shoulders and he took it with stride to fix things, but this was something he needed to do. For everyone’s sake.“Well, good luck. No one’s gone out that way yet so I don’t know what you’ll find.”

“Most of what I saw of the Henbane was burned away. I don’t know how far it goes. I’ll let you know if there’s something worthwhile over there.”

Staci pulled him into a hug. “Hey, if you see Jacob again, kick his ass for me.”

Rook laughed and held his friend close. “I will, don’t worry. I’ll see you around, Pratt.”

“See ya, Rookie.”

Staci waved them off as Rook drove away from the Den and he caught sight of Hudson in the rear view. They were soon back on tarmac and heading towards their next stop.

“Do you think they’ll come round to our way of thinking?” Sharky asked, unable to shut up for long.

“Hudson will take some time. John tortured her. She won’t be easy to convince but she’ll see what we’re trying to do. Pratt got thrown to Jacob and I think he tried very hard to break Staci any way he could, and I can’t tell if it worked. He’s tired but there’s the old Staci in him too. He seemed okay with the plan and the fact that Joseph is my partner.”

“I suppose that’s better than nothing.”

“it’s not an easy decision, I understand that, but it’s for the good of our county.”

Sharky nodded, not quite so convinced. He was thrilled they weren’t alone but he wasn’t looking forward to the hail of bullets when the cult met the locals again.

The FANG centre was quiet and the metal of the cages creaked in the wind. There was nothing to find, no people or animals. Boomer sniffed around but his whines only reinforced Rook’s suspicions. They were back on the road shortly, the sun shining faintly through the clouds. 

“We should head to Hurk’s house. You know, just in case,” Sharky said, drumming his fingers on his knees as he watched the scenery roll by. Montana was gorgeous in the winter.

Rook found no reason to go against the idea. They had enough fuel for the whole trip.

\---

The small road leading to the house was hidden behind overgrown weeds. Rook almost missed the turn.

Sharky jumped out and went straight for the house, jogging up the stairs of the porch. He tore open the door, calling out Hurk’s name. Rook let Boomer out and checked the garage. The truck was gone and so were the guns. Hurk’s little shrine was soaked through from the bad weather, his boxes were misshapen and the trinkets were lying in the mud. Rook tried to shove them under the table though it wasn’t much help.

He joined Sharky in the house, finding him in what he presumed was Hurk’s bedroom. There were posters of babes in bikinis, monster trucks, and an American flag hanging across the back of the door. Weapons from his trips were shoved onto cluttered shelves. Machetes, painted guns, a harpoon- and strange tribal necklaces hung from the bedpost. Photos were pinned to his closet, covering almost all the wood. Hurk was in most of them, with various men and women of different ethnicity. 

Sharky sat on the bed, looking around like a lost child. 

“He’s not here,” he said quietly, fisting the unmade sheets. 

“Hurk’s smart enough to have seeked shelter. There’s a bunker close by. We can have a look.”Sharky nodded but made no move. Rook sat beside him and threw an arm over his shoulders, pulling him close. “Why don’t you take something of his? That way, you can give it back to him next time.”

Sharky looked around and found the necklaces. He grabbed one carefully, a long cord with a small Jade stone carved in the shape of a leaf. He slipped it over his head and hid it under his shirt. Then he stood and took one last look around the room before leaving.

Once he was back in the car and Rook was pulling out of the driveway towards the nearest bunker, he finally thanked Rook.

“I’m sorry about that. I just miss him, he’s family, you know. He took care of me.”

“Don’t apologise, I get it. We’re both trying to find our people. He’s out there somewhere. Just keep your head up, man. We’ll find him.”

\---

Joseph knew trying to avoid his old followers wasn’t the way to regain his stature. Despite his walks and living in the ranch more openly, the men and women under Jacob’s command stayed away. It could have been to respect privacy or just the way Jacob trained them, since Joseph’s personal followers were far clingier and loving, but he had a feeling it was out of awkwardness instead.

Michael, the one who brought them food last night, was kind and looked up to John with admiration. He’d mentioned being one of the first to join and Joseph vaguely remembered a man from Austin who’d conquered his addictions under Jacob’s guidance. He wasn’t that close to Joseph, though, and he too kept a distance.

In the end, Joseph got tired of asking himself questions and went to seek out the man. He cornered him by the hangar where he was helping stack cans of fuel.

“Michael?” Joseph approached calmly. “May I have a word with you?”

Michael nodded, a little shocked to be personally taken aside by the Father. The two others helping watched them go. Joseph took him inside the house and sat him down at the dining table. Michael was uncomfortable, only because he’d never been allowed to sit so close or have the Father’s attention directly on him.

“What can I do for you, Father?”

“I need to ask you some things, Michael, and I need honesty above all. Can you do that for me?” Joseph leaned closer on his elbows, watching intently. Michael had never seen his eyes uncovered, always hidden by the sunglasses, and he was a little taken aback by the raw sincerity in them.

“Yes, of course.”

“The people out there, my flock, do they still follow me?”

“I... Yes-”

Joseph held up a hand, silencing his stutters. “I’m not asking this as the Father, there is no judgement if the answer is no. I need to know, Michael, if they still respect me. Be honest with me, please.”

Michael took a sharp breath and hung his head, shaking it slowly. “Father... When you took us in, you promised us safety. I believed you, I still do, but your family was unable to stop the Deputy. He destroyed what we had built and he doomed so many of us. All of our work was for nothing and you couldn’t keep your promise. I don’t blame you but others do. Seeing you again... I don’t think I could describe what I felt but some part of me was relieved that you had survived. I dedicated my life to you, and then I witnessed what Jacob did. Father, forgive me for what I’m about to say.”

“Just say it,” Joseph mumbled, drained as Michael’s words struck him hard.

“You weren’t the man we thought you were. I was there when you told the Deputy that God won’t let him take you and those words meant nothing when it was so easy to bring you to your knees. Jacob did something cruel to you and I never would have wished that on you, but it made us all realise you’re not invincible. And now, we’re lost and we don’t know what to do. We have no home, our friends and families are dead, and all that we have left are the Heralds and the one who caused us so much suffering. We’re scattered, Father.”

Michael wiped his cheeks roughly, sniffing loudly, and sighed as the burden was lifted from his shoulders. He glanced up at the Father and found him in a similar state; barely holding it together.

“Thank you, Michael, for your honesty.” Joseph hung his head and linked his hands together.

“What will you do now, Father?” 

Joseph shrugged and let out a dry laugh, just one sound that broke with the tremors in his throat as he tried to contain himself.

“Might I suggest something? Herald Jacob has only focused on our survival and although we are grateful, there hasn’t been much else. We don’t have lives outside of finding supplies and relaying them between our outposts. Father, would you mind giving us a sermon? We haven’t heard the word of God in months and I would like to hear them, please.”

Joseph looked up hopefully. “You would?”

Michael nodded and dared to reach out, laying a hand over Joseph’s in a way that felt mutual. Not like a child to their Father but rather as two men who’d suffered greatly and lived to see the sun rise. 

“I would love to. Thank you, Michael. I greatly appreciate this talk. I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Yes, Father.” 

Michael took his hand back and stood, bowing his head, leaving without another word. Joseph sat there for a few minutes, regaining his composure. He hadn’t expected him to be so forthcoming but now he knew what to do. He went up to his room, the one in the ranch, where all his books, scriptures, and speeches were kept safe. He had a sermon to write, one that would inspire respect and love from his flock once again. How could he lead them into a new world if they were wandering without God’s light? 

* * *

Joseph's church had survived, sheltered from the torrent of flames and smoke by the water. The south bridge was burned and the metal had twisted into strange, mutilated shapes. Rook took the north bridge, the wood creaking under the tyres but holding up well. 

“Why are we here?” Sharky asked, keeping a careful eye on the buildings surrounding the compound. The fences were covered by tarps and there was no way to know if people were hiding behind them.

“It’s something I have to do. Don’t worry, we can search for supplies as well.”

“Alright, you’re the boss. Just be careful, I don’t trust this place. Gives me a bad vibe.”

Rook cut the engine by the entrance gates and stepped out, letting Boomer out. He growled immediately, tensing and curling close to Rook.

“Come on, Boom. Let’s move out.”

Rook held his rifle close, aimed towards the ground. Sharky was right, something was off. It was quiet but not silent like the rest of the county. It could’ve been the bliss lingering but Rook didn’t think so.He watched the fences, scouting with Boomer as Sharky watched their backs. The steeple of the church peeked over the rooftops, snow clustered over the blue planks. Rook couldn’t deny it looked pretty but he wasn’t here to stare at some nice architecture.

Alpha and Omega.

The Beginning and the End.

“Rook, we’ve got to go,” Sharky suddenly hisses close to his ear. “We’re not alone.”

Rook glanced around and saw shapes moving between the buildings, watching without making a noise. His grip on the gun tightened. They were surrounding them. Boomer barked aggressively, crouching and baring his fangs. 

“Okay, we stick together, head back for the truck. Let’s hope we can leave before they do anything.”Rook started walking backwards, aiming the gun in the general direction of the shapes. 

“You’re not going anywhere, Sinner!” A woman yelled from behind Rook, several people around her all armed to the teeth. All cultists.

“We don’t want any trouble. We’ll leave you in peace, forget we ever found you,” Rook replied, making a show of lowering his gun and watching her reaction carefully.

The woman might have been pretty before but most of her body was now covered in awful burns. Her clothes were torn and stained and her hair had been cut short badly, like she’d hacked at it with blunt scissors. It could've been singed from the flames. She approached, limping and wobbling but determined to come closer. The people behind her were all in bad shape, burned or damaged visibly in other ways. They’d survived the fires somehow and taken refuge on the island.

“We know who you are, Sinner. We know what you did. This is all your fault.” She finally reached them, the crowd coming from all corners of the compound to circle them. Sharky couldn’t keep still, every one of them making him nervous.

“I didn’t come here to harm you and your people.”

“Bullshit! That’s all you do!”

Rook’s gun was ripped from his hands by her and she threw it to someone blindly. He didn’t struggle for it, let her think she was in charge. Well, she was but only because of the numbers they had. 

“You came here looking for Joseph, didn’t you?” He asked, more of a guess than perception, but the fury faded in her eyes at the mention of the Father.

“He’ll come back to us. God wouldn’t let him die.” Even her words sounded false to her.

“You’re right, he’s alive. Look- What's your name?”

“Emma.”

Rook held out his hands, palms up, and tried to smile. “Emma, he is alive. Joseph’s fine and so are the Heralds. I never killed them. Please, lower your guns. I have a lot to tell you and I’d like to do it without being aimed it.”

She scoffed dryly. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not. They’re all at the ranch, alive and well. I can take you to them. Please, let’s sit and talk.”

Emma observed him for a moment and glanced back at her group. Some of them nodded silently. “Okay, fine. Get your ass in the church, I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. If I find out you’re lying, I’ll flay you alive and hang you above the gates to die in the cold. The same goes for your friend.”

She glared at Sharky and pushed between them, heading to the church angrily.

\---

“We will never accept the sinners in our flock,” Emma protested as if she’d missed the entire point of Rook’s speech.

“I’m not asking you to. We need to work together for the future of this county.”

They were sat on the front pews and Rook had flinched at the sight of the interior, unprepared for the painful twist in his guts at seeing it all again. 

“The sinners caused the world to die. Why would we work with them?”

“Stupid people caused all this, not the local bar owner or farmer. You and I, we had no voice in the war. It happened and we did what we could to save our people, but that doesn’t mean we’re to blame for some Washington prick’s decision. They ended the world and now we’re all that’s left. Emma, you’ve suffered greatly. I can see that. You’re not the only one. We all lost our world.”

“You tried to stop us. You destroyed those bunkers.”

Rook sighed and reached out to take her hand. She flinched but let him. 

“I know that and I regret what I did. I am sorry, Emma, to everyone who would have used the shelters. I didn’t believe Joseph or the news on the radio, I didn’t think the world would really end. I was selfish and angry and trying to hurt the cult in the worst ways possible. I’m sorry for what I did.”

She looked at him in disbelief. Rook had meant the words but there was a difference between feeling guilty and apologising to the people he’d hurt in the first place. He may hate the cult and their actions but he’d also risked the lives of the resistance.

“You mean that. I can see it in your eyes.”

“I do. Please, it’s why we have to work together. Joseph has plans to rebuild the county and he can’t do it alone. I promise you, this group you have aren’t the only survivors. I’ve found others, _my_ people, and they’re willing to consider the idea. I ask you to do the same.”

She nodded weakly. “If it’s the will of the Father, I can at least consider your proposition.”

“Thank you, Emma. Will you allow us to leave now? I have other places to visit before I return to Joseph.”

“I can find him at the ranch, can I?”

“Yes, it’s our home now. Please, come visit and give us your answer.”

She nodded again and took her hands back, standing up. “I will. Let me go tell my group what we’ve agreed on. When I come back, I'll escort you both to the car.”She walked away and shut the door behind her.

“So now we’ve got both factions on our side,” Sharky stated. He was always being ignored in favour of Rook but considering the words that came from the Deputy, he was far more suitable to lead the conversation. Sharky probably would’ve pissed her off an hour ago.

“Yeah, and somehow they’ve both got to agree.”

Rook sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, the rough rubber of his gloves catching on his beard. He hadn’t shaved for over two weeks, too lazy to do it, but Joseph didn’t voice any complaints.

“You’ll manage. You’re good at talking.”

Rook raised his brows and pulled a doubtful face. He stood and went to explore the altar and podium where Joseph made his sermons. Where he’d arrested him once and failed to capture him twice. The church held so many memories. He brushed his fingers over the book, dusty and left alone since Joseph had gone into hiding. Rook was willing to believe this was the one he’d placed down before that photograph had been taken. He smiled to himself.

“Where are we going next?” Sharky asked, watching him wander about. 

Sharky hated the church and all the messy writing on the walls, hated how it made his skin crawl and reminded him of the cult’s wrongdoings. Living with John and Joseph was fine and dandy when they behaved but they had still caused chaos in the county, setting their followers like hounds on the locals and reaping havoc. 

“I had the marina in mind but I don’t know what we’ll find there. By the time Emma lets us out, it will be too late to drive out. We can park at the marina once we’ve cleared it and sleep in the car.”

“Sounds good, and after that? We head home?”

Rook shook his head. “I was thinking we could hit the county jail. It’s a good place to hide, easily defendable.”

“It’s a long drive down but if you think it’s worthwhile...”

“Don’t you?” Rook sat back down beside him, Boomer curled up at Sharky’s feet. It seemed the older man no longer had a strong distaste for Rook’s dog, probably because of how much he meant to him.

Sharky sighed and threw an arm over the back of the pew. “Of course, I do. Dep, I won’t lie. I’m scared of what’s gonna happen when they come together. I don’t want another civil war.”

“It won’t come to that.” Rook wasn’t certain he’d spoken the truth and judging by Sharky’s look, he didn’t think so either.

“I liked it when it was open season and we could just fuck around, but it’s not black and white anymore. You know, even after the shit I pulled on John he’s still my friend. And if Hurk comes back and he makes me choose between him and my new family... Rook, I-” 

Emma opened the doors, followed by two men. Sharky fell silent and couldn’t look Rook in the eyes. Rook didn’t push.

“My people agreed to let you go peacefully. I’ll take you back to your truck,” she said, waiting until the two had joined her at the entrance. She led them through to the gates, followers watching them intently with their guns lowered but their expressions stern. The darkness was lit up by fires in barrels.

When they reached it, Emma took the Deputy aside. She ignored Sharky and Boomer, letting them get ready.

“The things you did to us were justified but I can’t find it in my soul to forgive you for the bunkers. You’ll live with that guilt for as long as you live. But what you’re trying to do, it’s a start. I can’t promise that we will agree to help the sinners but you can count on us for Joseph’s sake. We are loyal to him. I will give you my answer soon.”

“Thank you, Emma. I want what’s best for all of us.”

She nodded and walked away, consumed by her group closing the gap she’d stepped through. Soon she was gone from sight and Rook got into his truck. True to her word, they were able to drive away safely and were soon back on the main road. Rook drove around the lake, down to the marina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very long chapter this time, I hope everybody's enjoying the story.


	19. Monoxide

“Can’t we just leave the heating on? It’s fucking freezing, Rook,” Sharky grumbled as he messed around with the thin blanket. 

“Not unless you want to die from monoxide poisoning,” Rook argued back, unfolding his own. “We can lie in the back together if you want, but no heating.” 

“Okay, fine, I accept but it still sucks.” 

Rook sighed and opened the passenger door, patting the seat. “Come on, Boomer, you sleep here. We need the space. Sharky, how did you survive with John outside? We’re in a garage, safe from the storm, and in a car sharing body heat. I think you just like complaining.” 

Sharky flipped him off but Rook missed it. The only light came from the interior bulbs of the truck. 

“It smells like dog back here,” he moaned again. 

“Yeah, no shit.” 

“That’s not a good thing. You should give him a bath one of these days.” 

Rook sighed and sat down in the backseat, leaning up to turn the lights off. “Jacob already did. I just wish I had seen it; cleaning Boomer is impossible.” 

“Jacob’s good at doing the impossible.” 

Rook couldn’t argue. Sharky joined him, awkwardly arranging his and Rook’s legs so they didn’t kick each other trying to lie down. They made it work, somehow, with Rook more than half on top of Sharky so he wouldn’t fall off the edge of the seats. Rook rested his head on his chest, rubbing his cheek against the soft fabric of Sharky’s hoodie. He exhaled gently, arm stretched up across to his friend’s shoulder. Sharky held him close, hands linked at the base of Rook's spine. 

“I won’t make you choose, you know. Between us and Hurk. You do what feels right.” 

Sharky huffed and kissed the top of Rook’s head, where his wild curls were tickling his chin. “Thanks, Shorty, but we won’t know what will happen if the time comes and I have to decide. I can’t promise I’ll be able to cope. You mean everything to me, you’re my best friend, and I’ll never turn my back you. Ever. And you know John-” 

“John is your sweetie?” 

Sharky laughed. “Ah, I don’t think so, but he’s nice once you get to know him. He needs someone to keep him upright and I’ve been trying. We shared his room the other night and he’s not what I imagined.” 

Rook brought his head up in a flash, almost knocking into Sharky with a grin plastered on. “Wait! You two fu-” 

Sharky shoved a hand against Rook’s mouth lightning quick, silencing him. 

“No, nope, no way! That’s the thing. He doesn’t want to, like at all. He said it made him feel weird to try and I thought it was because of me, but then he said it wasn’t. I don’t really get it but I’m cool with it. Whatever he needs, you know. Do you think he was pushing me away?” 

Rook fixed him with a look, his smile dropping, brows raised and face impatient. Sharky took his hand away before Rook could bite. 

“Not everyone wants to fuck, Sharky. He’s probably ace.” 

“Uh, he’s a what now?” 

Rook brought himself up, arching his back. Sharky felt it under his palm, the flex of muscles and an agility he could never achieve. 

“You _know_ , asexual. He’s not into doing it.” 

“Oh, that makes sense. Okay, no, not really. Why not? Like, it’s the best thing!” 

Rook snorted. “Like you’d know.” 

Sharky glared and wanted to punch Rook’s arm but he kept himself at bay, especially when Rook was lying so comfortably on him like a human blanket. Their legs were tangled and Sharky resisted the urge to spread his own and let Rook come closer. 

“I have fucked before," Sharky whined. "I speak from experience when I say it’s the best thing.” 

“Maybe not for John. He did a lot of that before Joseph found him, maybe he’s sick of it. Bring it up, let him know what you know. Just don’t force him into it.” 

“Hell no, come on, Rookie. You know I’d never do that. I told him that too. Just because I like sex doesn’t mean I’m gonna force anyone into anything.” 

Rook clapped his shoulder. “Then you’re good. I think you and John would make a good pair.” He knew he was playing matchmaker but John had already come to him for advice. Rook was simply guiding them together. 

“Thanks, man. I’ll talk to him when we’re back. You’re good at this stuff.” 

“Thank you. I aim to please.” 

Rook settled back down on Sharky’s chest, holding him close. He felt Sharky’s hands join over his lower back again. He was drifting off when Sharky’s voice rumbled in his ear, the vibrations pushing through his chest as he spoke. 

“What was that now?” Rook asked, barely moving more than an inch so his mouth was not pressed into the fabric. 

“Never mind, I was just talking to myself.” Something about his tone made Rook think otherwise. 

“No, go on.” 

Sharky made a strange noise of protest but eventually sighed, bringing one hand up to play with Rook’s hair. He pushed up into the strands, scratching gently and making Rook boneless. 

“It’s embarrassing.” 

“Hearing your skunk story was embarrassing. Come on, tell me. I won’t drop it until you do. It’s the first thing I’ll mention in the morning, right when you wake up.” 

“Okay, okay, fine.” Sharky sighed again and took a deep breath. “I _said_ , it’s not John I really want.” 

Rook tipped his head up, landing it in the crook of Sharky’s arm. He stared up, eyes barely open from his sleepiness even if his mind was awake. 

“Oh... Who then?” Rook was disappointed, he couldn’t lie, because he thought he was setting this up. His friends would date and they could have fun together, share things, and just generally be happy. Double date and all that rom-com crap. 

“Rook, it’s not easy to admit. I’ve always looked up to you, the second you came to the trailer park and helped me with those peggies. We had so much fun and you were like a killing machine; ruthless, deadly, smart, and you looked so fucking hot with blood on your face. I remember you were grinning like crazy and I just...” 

Rook’s brain short-circuited. He stayed silent, watching as Sharky poured his heart out. 

“I know I can’t have you. Even if Joseph wasn’t around, you’re too good for me. You’re just so fucking perfect, in every way, and I love everything about you. I won’t... I won’t get in the way. I promise. I won’t ever bring it up again.” 

Sharky let out a heavy breath, shaky and on the verge of tearing up. Because he knew Rook would hate him and he could never live this down. Rook’s silence was enough. He should have just fucking lied. Why the fuck did he tell the truth?! 

Rook silenced all his thoughts with the soft press of his lips. Sharky felt like he’d been burned alive and then thrown into freezing water. He sobbed, broke. 

He tightened his grip in Rook’s hair and held him in place as he claimed his mouth. Kissing him like Rook would disappear, like it was all a dream he never wanted to wake up from. He didn’t know how long he held his friend down, his lips unable to stop moving, feeling, tasting, Rook. The Deputy was all soft, mewing under him and curling his hands in his hoodie. Sharky realised he wasn’t fighting back. 

He pulled away, keeping a short distance between them. 

“I’m sorry,” he stammered, shaking under the storm of guilt and want pummelling him. “I shouldn’t have done that. You’re not mine. You won’t ever be. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.” 

Rook hushed him. “I kissed you first.” 

Sharky rested his forehead against Rook’s. “Why?” 

“Was it good?” 

Sharky nodded and a sob escaped him. “Yes. Better than I ever imagined. Joseph’s so lucky to have you. We should stop, I don’t want you to cheat on him. Please. Not for me. Don’t risk it, I’m not worth it.” 

“I won’t. I love him. I just wanted you to know what it felt like, kissing me. I never realised, I’m such an idiot. Forgive me.” 

“Of course, I do! It’s not your fault. You’re perfect, Rook, but you couldn’t have known. I didn’t want to risk our friendship. Please don’t ditch me, I won’t do it again. I’ll shut up from now on. I’ll never mention this to you or anyone else.” 

“It’s okay. Sharky, relax, I’m not leaving you. I’m sorry you have to live like this but I would never abandon you.” Rook leaned up and kissed his forehead, hand rubbing his back in circles. 

Sharky slowly calmed down. “Are you going to tell Joseph?” 

“Do you want me to?” 

“No. Let me. I started this, I told you how I felt. I don’t want to fuck things up between you two. It’s my fault, I’ll own up to it.” 

Rook pushed him down and settled back in his chest. Sharky expected him to stay far away. 

“Let's tell him together.” After a minute, Rook needed to get something off his back too. “Sharky? Since we’re being really honest here, I just wanted to tell you I enjoyed that too. I don’t really know what to do with that info.” 

Sharky’s voice was small and there was no hope in it. “Don’t leave Joseph, he doesn’t deserve that. Not when you told him how you felt. He’ll feel so betrayed. Rook, can we just pretend the kiss never happened?” 

“I can’t do that.” 

“I know. It was worth the try.” 

“Goodnight, Sharky.“ 

“Night, Rookie.” 

Neither slept well at all. 

\--- 

The morning was more awkward than Rook had expected. He couldn’t find the words and Sharky made no attempt to start a discussion, sitting in the passenger seat and looking at the scenery as it went from lush greens to dry browns to blackened husks. 

Boomer never picked up on it, barking happily and sticking his tongue out of the open window. 

The prison was a dead end. There was nothing inside except the remains of the resistance, dusty and forgotten over the months. They spent an hour searching through the empty halls and cell blocks before quitting and agreeing to go home. 

The ranch came into view and Rook never felt so queasy going home. Joseph came out at the sound of the engine cutting, frowning. Rook realised with a stab of guilt that he’d forgotten to radio in. 

“Hey, sorry about last night,” Rook said instead of a greeting, pulling Joseph into a warm hug. His partner smelled of coffee and wood fire. “We found some peggies camping at your church. They agreed to discuss your plan among them and get back to us with an answer.” 

“It’s wonderful to see you, too, my dear. I hope you’ll explain more later. Come in, John and I are having lunch.” 

“Yeah, of course. Come on, Boomer. Food.” 

The dog sprinted to Rook’s side and bolted past and into the house, barking and yelping loudly at his favourite word. Rook looked back to see Joseph patting Sharky’s back and welcoming him home. To Sharky’s credit, he gave no sign that anything was wrong. That knife twisted Rook’s guts again. 

John was happy to see them, setting down two plates and throwing scraps down with Boomer’s kibbles. He laughed and smiled and when he met Sharky’s eyes, his smile softened shyly. 

“I hope your trip brought results,” he said once they’d all sat down at the kitchen table. 

“Yes, we’ve got the resistance and the cult considering our plan. We just need to wait for their answers and go from there,” Rook answered, stuffing his mouth with good food. Joseph hadn’t lied all those months ago. He really could cook. 

John blinked and then laughed. “Well, you’ve been busy. Not alone in this world, are we?” 

“Nope. Not at all.” 

“I’ve been busy as well,” Joseph interrupted, consumed with energy. “I’ve been writing a sermon. I wanted to wait until you were back to do it. I think it will help the followers.” 

“Cool, just keep it peaceful. Please, Joseph.” 

The preacher smiled and rested his hand over Rook’s, dragging his thumb over the sharp, scarred, knuckles fondly. 

“I know. Michael came to me and suggested it, so I thought it would help with morale. You’re more than welcome to sit in and watch. In fact, I’d love it if you could.” 

Joseph’s smile was kind, inviting, and Rook found himself nodding and agreeing. 

“Wonderful. You’ll like it, I promise.” 

Lunch dissolved into easy chatter, with no work mentioned except that Joseph wanted to start building a small garden behind the house, where they could grow vegetables for the kitchen and flowers for their sermons. Something to brighten up the grey world. Rook reminded him he would have to wait until the snow melted to plant anything, but it didn’t deter Joseph one bit. 

As they were cleaning the dishes, Rook washing and Joseph drying, Rook knew he had to mention last night while they had time to themselves. 

“Joseph, there’s something I need to confess.” 

“You should go to John. He’s the one who deals with confessions,” Joseph joked. He kissed Rook’s shoulder as he passed by to put some plates in the cupboard. 

Rook put the sponge to the side and dried his hands. “John can’t know. This is about you and me. And Sharky.” 

“Alright,” Joseph said cautiously, closing the cupboard door and leaning against the counter. “What would you like to confess?” 

Rook took a deep breath and sat down. “Last night, Sharky admitted he had feelings for me. He kept them hidden so he couldn’t hurt me or you but last night, we were talking about heavy topics and he blurted it out.” 

He looked up but Joseph’s face was a blank mask. 

“I kissed him,” Rook finally admitted, watching Joseph for any emotions. “I just wanted him to know what it felt like. I wasn’t trying to lead him on or anything, just... you know, let him have one thing. Thinking back on it, I know it was cruel and it’s made all this mess.” 

“It sounds like you should be apologising to him, not me.” 

Rook inwardly cringed. Joseph was cold, voice drawn tight so he could let anything slip out. The perfect picture of calm. 

“It was stupid but it’s worse than just kissing him. I... I liked it. I didn’t mean to. I was just trying to help. I’m sorry, I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I am truly sorry.” 

Rook hid his face behind his hands. He was fucking everything up. He’d loved Joseph one day and kissed another man the next. He was a fucking heartless whore and Joseph didn’t need him. He was better off alone. 

“Do you love him?” 

“I don’t know. He's my best friend and I’d die for him.” 

“Do you love me?” 

Rook pulled his wet hands away and nodded maniacally. “Yes! I love you so much, Joseph! I meant what I told you. Every word. I don’t know what’s happening to me.” 

Joseph crossed the space and wrapped his arms around Rook’s shaking shoulders. Rook buried his face in his side, holding him tightly. 

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t pretend it never happened.” 

“Thank you for your honesty. I’m glad you didn’t keep this as a secret. Let me talk to him.” 

Rook sniffed and pulled away reluctantly. “Do you hate me?” 

Joseph knelt to his level and took his face into his hands. “Never. We’re all overcome with Lust sometimes. You’ve confessed, you’ve apologised, and now you must atone.” 

“How?” Rook’s eyes filled with fear. Atonement meant pain. It meant getting flesh ripped off and being thrown to John as his personal play toy. Joseph sensed his distress and hushed him. 

“I won’t hurt you. No one will lay a hand on you. Let me think on it but first I have to talk to Boshaw about touching what is mine.” 

“No! He didn’t- Joseph, _I_ started it. Please, he felt so guilty. All he could think about was that he’d hurt you and that he had fucked things up. Don’t hurt him. He’s sorry. I know he is.” 

“Quiet, my child.” Joseph pressed his forehead to Rook’s and waited until the Deputy had caught his breath. “No one will be harmed. You have my word. I told you I will not repeat the past. I will talk to him and that is all. In the meantime, you can wait and think about ways you can atone.” 

“Okay, I believe you. I’ll make it up to you, Joseph. Whatever it takes.” 

“I know you will. Now, calm yourself. I’ll be back soon.” 

Joseph kissed his head and left, leaving Rook suddenly alone and very cold. He didn’t deserve the man’s patience or understanding. Not when he’d fucked up so badly, not when he felt sorry and still wanted Sharky deep down as well. 

\--- 

Joseph cornered Sharky in the bunker beneath the house, playing snooker by himself in the lounge as he blasted old music from the stereo at a near deafening level. Sharky glanced up nervously and turned the volume down. Joseph stood in the door, blocking his only exit. 

“I had underestimated you, Boshaw. You’re far braver than I imagined. After all, you dared to put your hands on my lover and clamber all over him as if you’d face no consequences.” 

Joseph approached and took the pool cue from Sharky’s hands and threw it across the room, startling the other man as it snapped in half. He pushed him against the wall and held him there with a hand close to his throat. 

“You tried to take something that was mine, someone who you _know_ does not belong to you.” 

“I’m sorry-” 

“Not sorry enough to stop yourself from sticking your tongue down his throat. How did it feel, to finally kiss him? Was it all you hoped for? Did he taste as sweet as you’d imagined? Answer me, Boshaw!” 

Sharky nodded fearfully, hands held up defensively. “Yes, it was amazing. You’re a really lucky guy, Joseph.” 

“Am I? And why is that?” 

“Because Rook felt really guilty and he wanted to tell you right away. I did too, I just got scared. I’m sorry, Joseph. I couldn’t stop myself. He’s...-” A switch was flicked suddenly and Sharky pushed back, shoving Joseph off easily, eyes flaring with impatience at being thrown around. Joseph didn’t own him. “He’s amazing, okay? He’s the greatest person I’ve ever met and I’m not afraid to admit I love him. More than just in a friendly way too. I’m not gonna fight you over him or whatever it is you’re hoping for. He’s yours, okay. Rook’s yours, and I won’t argue against it and I won’t stop you or pull you both apart. I know what’s right and wrong. I messed up. I admit that.” 

Joseph took a step back, purely out of shock. “You’re not going to take my place?” 

Sharky sighed and gestured wildly. “Are you fucking kidding me? This is me we’re talking about. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t stand a chance. He loves you, you’re his saviour. I’m just... I’m just the guy who likes to burn stuff. The fact he even looks my way is enough for me. Of course, I won’t fight you.” Sharky cracked and let tears flow down his gaunt cheeks. In a broken voice, he added, “You’re my friends... You’re my friends.” 

“I genuinely don’t know what to say.” 

Sharky shrugged, seemingly lost for words as well. He wiped his face. 

“You truly care for him. But you also care for John.” 

“John’s different. He needs help and I’ll give it but he doesn’t want me like that. He’s ace. That’s what Rook thinks.” 

Joseph sighed and crossed his arms, fight drained out of him. “That doesn’t mean you can’t be in a relationship.” 

“I know but it means walking on eggshells and I really don’t want to hurt John. I’ve caused him enough pain.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Sharky realised suddenly and painfully what he’d said. Joseph didn’t know about the kidnapping, the mental torture he’d put John through. 

“I just... haven’t always been kind to him. We fought a lot at the beginning.” It wasn’t a lie. The two had more arguments than a married couple filing for divorce. It just wasn’t the complete truth. Joseph swallowed it, though, and didn’t press further. “Look, don’t blame Rook. He was just trying to be nice to me.” 

“I blame you both for succumbing to your lust, regardless of those you hurt in the process. You’ll atone, same as Rook. Come upstairs once you’ve collected yourself. We have things to discuss together.” 

“Yes, Joseph.” 

Joseph nodded to himself and left without another word, leaving Sharky to clean up and turn the music off completely. Sharky sighed heavily and wiped his eyes roughly with his sleeve. He’d fucked things up so badly, it was a wonder Joseph hadn’t shoved that pool cue through his throat. He probably had Rook to thank for his mercy. 

\---

Rook wasn’t used to the tension between them anymore. He couldn’t quite remember if there had ever been a time when Joseph had seemed so uncomfortable and angry, let alone directing it at Rook. They sat in the kitchen, all three of them, isolated from the peggies roaming outside. Boomer was curled up at Rook’s feet, belly full of kibbles, blissfully unaware of the awkwardness above the table. 

“I am disappointed,” Joseph began, lacing his fingers together in front of him. He made himself look at Rook and Sharky, holding their gaze for a moment before continuing. “You have both betrayed my trust and what you did is something I can’t forgive easily. The kiss itself does not bother me as much as the idea that you both knew what you were doing. I don’t care about the reasons or your tangled emotions in that moment. The fact is that Rook let himself be swayed by another person, and that Sharky took advantage of my partner.” 

Sharky shook his head. “It wasn’t like that-!” 

“You kissed him, you admitted your feelings for him, and you hid the truth from me. Am I wrong?” Joseph was seething, glare so cold it rivalled the storm brewing outside, but Rook knew deep down it was hurt that was causing it. 

Sharky backed down reluctantly. “No... you’re not.” 

“Love makes us do idiotic things. It’s human nature to stake claim. That being said, I don’t trust you to be around Rook and keep your hands to yourself.” 

“What?” Rook interrupted, suddenly a lot more scared of Joseph’s promise of atonement. “Joseph, we won’t do anything. I promise you.” 

Joseph refused to budge. “I appreciate that, Rook, but your word alone means nothing. I never imagined you’d be unfaithful to me but yet here we are. I have no other choice but to banish such distractions. Mr Boshaw, I’m going to have to ask you to get off my property. You’re no longer welcomed here.” 

“What? No, you can’t do that. We’re friends!” Sharky stood up, chair screeching back, and scrambling to extend his hands towards Joseph. 

“No, we’re not. You’ve made your bed, now you must sleep in it. I’ll give you the rest of the day and tonight to pack your things. I suggest you take the time to explain to John why you’re leaving.” 

Joseph stood and tried to leave, held back in place by Rook grabbing his wrist. “Don’t do this. Please, Joseph. I’m begging you.” 

“I’ve made my decision.” 

“I’ll leave with him too.” The words came out before Rook could stop them. 

Joseph spun back sharply, yanking Rook’s hand away and leaning over him. “Are you threatening me?” 

Rook made his bed too. “If you make him go, I’ll leave. I don’t want to, Joseph. I love you. But I can’t live without my best friend.” 

Joseph glanced away to compose himself. “My mother hardly spoke to me as a child, but in her moments of clarity she offered wisdom. She told me that anything before the word ‘but’ was a lie. Make your decision, Deputy, and never threaten me again or I won’t give you the choice to begin with.” 

He stepped back, glaring at Sharky and the mess he’d made of their lives because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

It was all his fault.

Joseph left without another word. 

\---

John was always surprised by the sound of slamming doors. His brothers all hated loud and sudden noises, startling and flinching at a broken mug or raised voices. A side effect of their childhood, Joseph used to say. There was a mutual agreement to keep tantrums out of earshot and John did try to obey the unspoken rule. 

So when he was nose-deep in a novel, lying comfortably over the duvet of his bed, the sound of wood slamming yanked him out of the world he’d lost himself in. He bookmarked the page, laid the book on the side, and went to explore. Maybe Jacob had come home. 

It had come from upstairs. One of the rooms close to his. As he stepped out into the corridor, he noticed all were open to some degree except Sharky’s room. John went to his door and knocked, only to be met with silence. 

“Hey, it’s me. Can I come in?” 

John didn’t wait long for an answer, not that there was one, and opened the door. He walked in and shut it quietly. Sharky was a small mass on the bed, balled under the blanket and shaking so violently John could see it well enough to worry. 

“Hey, are you okay?” 

John crossed the space and sat on the bed, his hand hovering over what could be Sharky’s shoulder. He couldn’t quite tell. 

“Please go,” Sharky mumbled, voice trembling as he sobbed gently. 

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” John pulled Sharky onto his back, extracting the blanket away until he saw his face. All red and eyes wet with tears. 

“I fucked up.” 

“How?” John rubbed his shoulder. “Shush, it’s alright. How bad can it be?” 

“Joseph kicked me out.” 

It was very bad, apparently. John needed a moment to compute and still struggled. “My brother told you to go?” 

Instead of answering, Sharky turned over and crawled against John’s side. He clinged to him, shaking and sobbing. John might have thought that it was pitiful but he didn’t dare voice his opinion. At least it was just the two of them in here. After a couple minutes, Sharky sniffed and tried to compose himself enough to make coherent words come out. 

“When I was with Rook, I did something really bad. I told him how I felt and I kissed him. We were just messing around, didn’t mean anything until it did, and Rook told Joseph. We’re both guilty and we tried saying sorry but Joseph wouldn’t listen. He’s kicking me out. I fucked up. He hates Rook.” 

“Oh God,” was John’s only response. He sank back against the headboard, blinking at the empty space in the middle of the room. 

“It wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t-” 

“You tore them apart. You drove a wedge between Joseph and Rook.” 

Sharky bolted up and grabbed John’s arms, his nails digging in sharply in his desperation. “No! No, it wasn’t like that! I swear, John, you have no idea how bad I feel about this. I fucking hate myself.” 

John sneered, his concern fading with every word. “You _should_ hate yourself.” 

He pushed Sharky away and stood abruptly, brushing his hands down his shirt to straighten it. He glared at him one final time before shutting the door behind him. 

Sharky stared at the spot, eyes watering. He couldn’t deal with this. Everyone was turning their backs on him. He’d made a mistake. He didn’t mean to hurt them. He didn’t mean to... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry...............
> 
> UPDATE: Sharky has his own story right here!! This will follow him.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/20349595


	20. Life Saver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: Sharky has his own story now that will follow him!
> 
> Read it here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/20349595

Rook was confined to the bunker for the night. Joseph didn’t join him. 

When he woke up, it was in their messy bed. The pillow smelled like Joseph; citrus soap, clean linen and the woodsy scent that clung to all of the brothers from the fresh Montana air. Rook could almost make himself forget that he’d slept alone and that Joseph probably couldn’t look at him anymore without the hurt lingering in his blue eyes.

He stood, showered, and dressed himself with an automatic drone. He felt his limbs move and do things but he wasn’t present mentally. Rook was lost, wandering between the lovely last month and the pain they’d experienced in two weeks. Everything had gone wrong. They never should have gone to the ranch where Jacob was lying in wait for anyone to fall into his trap.

All it did was pose him more ifs and buts. 

It was time to go above ground and say his goodbyes. He hadn’t prepared anything, wanted to think about literally anything else than seeing his best friend thrown out like some rowdy teenager. 

He got to the kitchen, noticed the house was very quiet, and found Joseph and John already sat at the table. Both held paper in their hands and John shot him a sympathetic look as Rook came in. Joseph folded his up and shoved it in his jean pocket.

“Where’s Sharky? I want to talk to him.”

John said nothing and took a third note from the table, held it up with two fingers. Rook saw his name written on the top of the folded sheet.

Rook recognised the handwriting. “What’s this?”

“Just read it,” John said when Joseph didn’t look up or greet his partner. 

Rook unfolded it and started reading Sharky’s letter. The words were written badly but it seemed like he hadn’t rushed, like he’d sat down and thought about what he was going to say.

**Rookie.**

**I had to go before you all woke up. I don’t think I could have accepted this if you were there to say goodbye.** **Every moment I spent with you was the greatest time in my life, I’ve never met anyone like you and I don’t think I ever will. You’re a special guy, one in a million.**

**I never thought I’d have friends. Nobody gave a shit about me at school or work and everything in my life was crap until you came along. You’re literally my lifesaver.**

**I love you.**

**You’re my best friend and I’ll never forget you. I wrote letters for Joseph and John too. I don’t know if they’ll show you but I said sorry about a hundred times. It won’t make up for what I did. I know I ruined your lives** **and** **Joseph’s right to kick me out. I don’t belong with you all. You’re so much better and far more amazing than I can ever be.**

**Do me a favour and don’t look for me. I’m not staying in Hope County. I’ve got** **Hurk’s** **necklace and I’m going to go find him. He’s out there somewhere.**

**Go make it up to Joseph. He deserves a lot but this isn’t one of those things. He loves you and he’s the luckiest guy in the world because he’s got you.**

**And go rebuild the county. You’re our hero, you know? So do what you do best. When I come back one day, I want to see Fall’s End all lit up and I wanna drink some cold beer at the Spread Eagle.**

**Take care of yourself and Boomer.**

**Your best friend in the whole world,**

**Sharky** **Boshaw** **.**

Rook couldn’t see the words anymore. His world was blurred with stinging tears. He folded the letter carefully, placing it in his back pocket. Someone was talking but he didn’t listen. He went to the main hall where he laced his boots and slipped his jacket on.

Boomer followed him out of the door.

\---

Hours passed. The car made it easier to cover ground but the tracks Sharky might have left were buried under fresh snow. He’d taken a car and his few belongings, and nothing for Rook to go on.

He drove to the Drubman residence and found it ransacked. Things were missing from Hurk’s bedroom. Photographs and weapons, anything that Sharky might be able to carry with him.

The truck stuttered to a stop somewhere down by the marina. It was out of fuel. Rook punched the steering wheel, his world blurring again as he slumped against it and cried out. 

Boomer whined in the backseat, sniffing curiously. He tried to crawl between the seat and Rook didn’t stop him, only realised when his dog rested its head on his lap and looked up with big, brown eyes. Rook rubbed behind his ears and neck absentmindedly. 

Headlights cut through the trees as the sun started setting in the late afternoon. Rook watched them in the rear-view as they approached. His heart leapt in throat at the idea of seeing his friend. When the lights got closer, his hope diminished with the Eden’s Gate logo painted on the side of the white truck. Peggies had come looking for him. Maybe they were the ones from the church. Rook didn’t want to deal with them. There was too much risk that he would tell them to fuck off and risk their precarious deal. 

The truck pulled up beside his and the dread only got worse because it was Jacob climbing out and slamming the door. He walked the few steps to Rook’s window and knocked on the glass. Rook rolled it down the old-fashioned way, with a crank that couldn’t go fast enough. He stopped halfway down.

“What the fuck do you want?” It wasn’t a nice greeting but considering how it was just them alone on the road, Jacob could have been dealt worse. Mostly because Rook knew the gun beside him wouldn’t bring Sharky back.

“You’ve got every single one of my boys out looking for you. Get back to the ranch, Joseph’s worrying about you.” Jacob sounded pissed, frown ever present.

“Tough shit. He kicked my best friend out. Joseph’s the last person I want to see right now.”

“Get out of the car.”

Rook scoffed. “Uh, no?”

“Get out of the fucking car, Rook. Or I’ll drag you out.”

Rook sighed angrily and opened the door, almost hitting Jacob with it except he stepped back too quickly. Boomer jumped out happily. 

Jacob leaned against the hood of his truck and fished something out of his pockets. He held out a crumpled packet of cigarettes.

“No thanks.” Rook shook his head. “Not unless that’s weed.”

A sound came out of Jacob’s mouth that was almost a laugh. Likely an amused grunt. He took one out and lit it, shoving the packet and lighter back in his cargos.

“Nah, that’s John’s thing,” he mumbled, smoke escaping his lips like he was a disgruntled dragon. “You fucked up. You’re paying the price. Guess we’re both in the shitter now.”

“You betrayed Joseph,” Rook pointed out, joining Jacob and leaning against the truck. 

Jacob fixed him with an incredulous look. “Oh, and you didn’t? My bad, I must have misheard John when he said you broke Joseph’s trust and cheated on him.”

“It was one fucking kiss! I did it to make Sharky feel better and now he’s gone and Joseph is acting like it’s the second end of the world.”

“Any idea where your sinner friend went?” Jacob smoothly changed the topic, exhaling smoke upwards. He almost looked relaxed but there was a tension to his shoulder and a wariness to his eyes as he watched the forest on one side and the lake on the other, flicking to each once in a while.

“To give find his cousin, but we looked for Hurk. He wasn’t here.”

“So he’s leaving the county. Good luck to him ‘cause he won’t like what he finds.” Jacob gestured past the mountains that bordered their land. Some of it burnt off the map, other parts flourishing despite the snow. “Unless he’s got a plane and knows how to fly it, he’s stuck here like the rest of us. We blocked off the roads during the reaping.”

“Sharky’ll do anything. If he’s not gone yet, he’ll be trying to find his way out.”

Jacob crushed the cigarette under his boots and crossed his arms. He’d pulled the sleeves of his jacket down but Rook could see the burns on the back of his hands.

“Tough fucker.”

“Yeah, he is,” Rook concluded, looking around just in case he caught a glimpse of a green hoodie. 

Boomer trotted around, tail wagging as he found interest in some twigs by the roadside and felt the need to drag it over to Rook so his owner could inspect his find. Rook petted his head and threw the stick, quietly playing a game of fetch as Jacob stood there and watched without a word.

When it became too dark to see beyond the treeline and the lake reflected the moon and lazy clouds, Jacob sighed and stretched to his full height.

“Alright, let’s head back.”

“I don’t want to talk to him,” Rook fought like a child, short of stomping his foot and pouting.

“Then don’t talk to him. I don’t give a shit, I’ve just got to get you home. What you do after that isn’t my problem.”

“Why are you helping me?” 

Jacob scoffed, heading to the driver’s side to open the door. “I’m not. I’m helping myself. The more I do to make up to Joseph, the sooner I can sit at his table again and be a family. That starts by bringing your ass back to him.”

Rook was tempted to stay put, maybe seek out the marina and sleep there for the night. Boomer had another idea. He saw the car as a way to go home and stay warm, so he ran to Jacob and waited for him to open the back door. 

“You’re coming back with me. Conscious or not. So move your ass, Deputy.”

“Alright, fine. I’m coming.” 

Boomer jumped in, loyal only to himself and his belly at the end of the day, and Rook thought he saw compassion in Jacob’s eyes at Boom’s eager display. At least he wasn’t hurting the dog.

Rook got into the passenger’s side and noticed the pointed cross hanging from the rear-view mirror. He wanted to yank it off and throw it out of the window. Jacob joined him and soon they were heading back up the roads. Jacob said nothing during the hour it took to drive through the county. He was attentive enough but his hand kept straying backwards to Boomer to pet him. The dog took it as an opportunity to rest his head in the gap between the seats and get cuddles for doing absolutely nothing.

When they got to the ranch, no one came out to greet them. Rook was out of the truck and heading down to the basement in a flash, Boomer hot on his tail. He caught glimpses of the brothers sharing dinner in the kitchen but didn’t stop. No one called out his name either.

In the bunker, he turned the music up loud and found his way into the storeroom where John had stocked alcohol despite the cult’s explicit ban. The rest of the night passed in a blur and Rook fell unconscious, crying out for his best friend.

* * *

The yard was unusually quiet. A few guards took laps around the property, rifles on their shoulders, but most of the workers were inside sheltered from the worsening storm. The wind was howling, whipping the trees mercilessly and sending gusts of snow and rain hurtling against the windows.

There wasn’t much to do for them and Joseph was not cruel to his flock. He let them inside and passed around hot mugs and blankets. The fire in the centre of the hall was burning fiercely to combat the cold. They were all grateful to take a day off. It was a hazard to drive so Jacob had allowed them to rest and save their strength for the next run.

Joseph knew from overhearing chatter that they would soon have cleared out the Valley’s bunkers. Jacob planned to expand into the Henbane sooner or later, to harvest what little had survived the fire. The link between the Whitetail and the Valley was growing stronger with every person that joined their side. It wasn’t about following the Father or seeking paradise, but about survival and calculating which was the bigger risk; the cult or the wild. Most chose to take Jacob’s hand, the ones that didn’t were left to roam until nature claimed their flesh once more.

It was a shock to the woman in the watch tower to see a convoy heading up the road towards the ranch. She looked through her binoculars and immediately set off the alarm. It blared through the wind and caused the guards to rush to the yard. The peggies inside also ran out, rifles up and ready to face the threat. The convoy reached the ranch and the lead car pulled to a stop, brakes squealing. 

“Get out of the cars with your hands up!” One peggie yelled, signalling the others to raise their guns and take aim. 

The driver got out, following the orders. It was a woman, bundled in ripped clothes and a scarf over her face. 

“It’s okay,” she said, approaching closer. “We’re like you, we came to see the Father!” 

“Prove it,” the peggie replied, watching as the rest of the convoy started spilling out of the trucks. More people than he knew he was capable of holding back. There was only a dozen of his own versus at least thirty. 

The woman came closer still and only stopped when she heard the click of his pistol’s safety. She grabbed at the hem of her coat and pulled it up, revealing the sins she’d proudly atoned for. Sloth was carved beneath her ribs. The cold bit at her burned skin so she tugged her coat back down once the man had seen enough.

“All of you?”

“Yes. There are no sinners among us.”

He paused to think, watching the newcomers with doubt before he nodded and set his gun back in his holster with the safety on. His men followed his lead and he gestured for her to come closer.

“The Father will want to see you. Please, come inside.”

The peggie observed as the group filtered in and flocked to the fireplace. His own were exchanging worried glances but he left them to go seek the Father. He’d never spoken more than a few words to him and he was more than nervous to knock on his door.

Joseph opened it slightly, enough to look through the gap and find out who bothered him.

“Forgive me for interrupting, Father, but it seems some of our people have come. I let them seek shelter in the hall downstairs. They want to see you.”

Joseph hummed thoughtfully. “Alright, thank you. I’ll greet them in a moment.” And then he closed the door and left the peggie exhaling in relief. 

The chatter in the hall fell silent as Joseph stepped out onto the landing and made his way down the stairs. He looked at every haggard and frozen face, each in shock and some staring up in admiration. A woman came out of the crowd and Joseph was surprised to see the way they moved aside for her. Clearly, she was in charge.

“Father, it’s a relief to see you alive and well,” she greeted, accepting his outstretched hands and taking them in her own. “My name is Emma, I’m in charge of these people. We were visited by the Deputy a couple days ago and he said we could find you here.”

“Thank you for coming, Emma. You’re more than welcome here. Our congregation has been spread thin and it’s time to reunite and claim this earth as ours. As it was always supposed to be. Please make yourself comfortable, I’ll have someone bring you food and blankets.”

Emma smiled for the first time in months, tilting her head. “I would like to speak with you, Father, if you have the time for me.”

“Of course.” Joseph turned to some of his men. “Make sure they’re taken care of.” He looked back at Emma. “Please, follow me and we may talk in private.”

Emma nodded and let Joseph take her upstairs to his office, similar to John’s but much simpler and only meant for meetings like this. He preferred to write from the comfort of his own room but that was not an appropriate place to take Emma, especially in the state it was in.

\--- 

She sat in one of the padded chair, glancing around the room and paused on the clock. Entranced by the normality of the ranch and its workings, she was startled by Joseph sitting beside her rather than behind the desk. She knew he did it to make them closer to equal but seeing him, clean and calm and unfazed by the trauma, she was more than certain that he was beyond anything she could achieve. His greatness was a privilege to witness.

“The Deputy found you. What did he say?” He asked, facing her bodily. There was a tightness to his voice that he tried to hide. Emma didn’t realise but the mention of Rook was painful, even if he was to thank for bringing her to the ranch.

“That you were alive and that we needed to band together to survive. He mentioned the sinners. Is it true, Father? Are we to help them despite everything they’ve done to our cause?”

Joseph smiled sadly and took her hand, his thumb running over the scars sympathetically. “It is true, my dear. There are few of us left, including the sinners, and it is up to us to create our future. They are alive and so are we. Ignoring that fact would only bring hate to our doorstep.”

Emma was trying to understand. Joseph saw it in her eyes but there was defiance. A hatred so deep for the sinners, one that he had sowed himself and brought to life. He’d nurtured that hatred until there was a divide between the people of the county. It was his responsibility to make that hate go away and it was not a simple task.

“What are our goals?” She asked smartly, because despite the cult and her undying love for the Father she was an intelligent woman and did not succumb to wild fantasies. His prophecies had come true, the world had ended and she'd picked the right side.

“We need to establish communications between our people first. After that, finding a source of steady food and restoring electricity is next. We have the tools and the equipment to farm the Valley but not the hands for the job. Some members of our cult were experts in their industries and we need their knowledge.”

“You need the sinners to work the land. You need slaves-”

“ _No_ ,” Joseph interrupted swiftly, making her recoil and frown. “No, they are not slaves. Emma, they are human beings and we need to help them. I must ask you to find compassion in your heart for the sinners.”

“Father...” Emma wanted to argue but she knew better than to voice her opinion to him.

“Emma, we’re all that’s left.” He stopped, his own words impacting him just as much as her. After a moment, he swallowed and continued. “I don’t know what’s beyond our mountains, I don’t know if the world is still functioning. But what I do know is that all we have left is each other. Sinners and the Project. If we continue to fight, we will all die.”

“I understand, Father. I’ll do whatever you ask. I’ll need to speak with my group, get them up to date.”

Joseph nodded and let her hand go. He’d gripped it too tightly but she hadn’t complained. 

“I’ll be hosting a sermon tonight. I’ll address all your worries then. For now, please share my home. I’m afraid I don’t have the rooms to spare for everyone. My own guards share beds already. I’ll share with you what we have and please, feel free to use whatever you need. In moderation, of course.”

Emma smiled gratefully and stood with Joseph. “Thank you, Father. May I...?” She held her arms up slightly, portraying the need for a hug.

He wrapped his arms around her without hesitation and made no comment on the way she grabbed at his clothes to keep him rooted in place. His members were always unbothered by personal space. His hand curved around her head and held her for as long as she needed. When she pulled away, she laughed very quietly and her eyes were red with unshed tears.

“I’m very glad you’re alive, Father. I never lost faith.”

She thanked him again before departing, leaving Joseph alone in his office. He went straight to his room and ignored the books he’d thrown to the ground and his unmade bed. He sat down at his desk and crumpled the half-finished sermon into a ball, chucking it at the others in the waste-paper basket. There was a new idea on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please put the pitchforks away! Sharky is not gone forever! He's going to be mentioned many times before his return but I can't say when, because it's yet to be written. 
> 
> In the meantime.... What do you guys think of Joseph rebooting the cult and having sermons again?
> 
> As always, thank you for all the kudos and kind comments. They make my day brighter ;3


	21. Baby Steps

As Rook stepped into the basement, sealing the bunker shut, he came face to face with a peggie. She was a small young woman, with her long blonde hair unbrushed and thrown around her shoulder. Rook recognised her from his walks around the ranch, she was in charge of moderating food stock.

“Hey,” he greeted without a smile. His head was pounding and he needed fresh, unrecycled air. Boomer sat and sniffed at her legs curiously.

“Hello, I was sent to find you. Herald Jacob wants a word.” His annoyed groan and frown didn’t faze her. Instead, she did extend her hand for Boomer to investigate. “I hadn’t seen any animals for months before you came.” She said it in way that made Rook feel pity but it was clear she didn’t expect an answer.

“Is it me or is it really noisy upstairs?” He could hear a lot of chatter muffled through the concrete.

“We had some of our people join us this morning.”

“The ones from the church?”

She nodded, looking up from the dog. “Yes, they said you told them to come here.” There was doubt in her voice that Rook would do such a thing. “Joseph met with them and they’re staying here for now.”

“Right, fine.” Rook headed for the stairs, holding the door open for her as Boomer ignored all courtesy and ran past. “Thanks for telling me.”

She nodded and made a face like she wanted to say something else but thought better of it. In the end, she laid her hand on his upper arm and squeezed gently. Her own way of thanking him for bringing more of her kind rather than slaughtering them. She left to go carry out her next duties, petting Boomer on her way.

The noise was worse as he was left alone in the corridor. Way too many people crowded into the hall. Their voices mingled into an incoherent mess, filtering through the door that separated them from the hallway. Rook decided it was best to go out the other way rather than show his face.

Outside, the snow had stopped and a thick blanket covered the world. Boomer threw himself into it, rolling on his back and barking, making Rook wince and wish he could take something for the pain. Jacob must have heard him as he rounded the corner, a black jacket over a grey cable-knit jumper. His hands were hidden by tactical gloves and he looked a lot more prepared for the cold than Rook did. He even had a black scarf covering his neck and jaw.

“Afternoon,” he said sarcastically, amused to see Rook flinching. 

“What do you want?” 

Rook was not in the mood. Not for Jacob or anyone else. There was too much snow to go out in the truck and find Sharky, and he was not in the right mindset to go scouring for his best friend when his tracks were long since buried and he’d already checked each exit out of the county. 

“We need to talk.”

“That’s vague as hell. Fine, we can talk, but I’m walking my dog at the same time.”

Rook didn’t give him an option, whistling at his dog to stop upturning the snow despite the pain of the noise. Boomer barked and trotted beside him, enjoying the company especially when Jacob petted his back. Rook started heading towards the river where a path was hidden beneath the snow. He knew it by heart from stalking the property.

“What is it then?” He asked, observing the treeline as the rush of water sloshed close by.

“Those people who came today said you brought them here. Is it true?” 

“Yeah, did Joseph not tell you our plan?” Rook glanced back at Jacob when he said nothing. “Oh.”

“Joseph hasn’t spoken to me since...” Jacob trailed off, looking away with a frown. “What’s the plan?”

“To bring both sides back together. The peggies have agreed, I guess, since they’re here. We’re waiting on the resistance to say yes now. Joseph wants to unite everyone and restore the county. We need them all if we want to survive and avoid another civil war.”

Rook was sure he’d said this a hundred times over by now but still it was something he wasn’t sure was possible. For all the trust he was asking for, the doubt in his heart really couldn’t come out in public. Sharky was right, he didn’t want to see the bloodshed if it all went to shit.

“So you and my brother are ruling the county now.” There was unrestrained anger in Jacob’s voice, like he was gritting his teeth and trying to keep himself from pushing Rook into the freezing waters beside them. 

Rook scoffed and stopped in his tracks. “I don’t know what Joseph and I are anymore. I just want my friend back.”

Jacob stopped too and crossed his arms. “Tough shit, he’s not here. You fucked up. The best thing you can do is carry out your plan and not cause any more drama.”

“You’re a fucking asshole,” Rook mumbled, shivering from the cold and the weight of his mistakes. He barely registered Jacob moving, which was stupid because Jacob was danger incarnate and no one should ever look away. 

The warm wool of Jacob’s scarf wrapped around his neck and Rook was forced to breathe in pine needles and stale smoke. Jacob adjusted it and stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he replied casually and started walking down the trail. He picked up a branch along the way and threw it far for Boomer to fetch. 

Rook stood there, trying to make sense of the eldest Seed and came up empty-handed. Considering he’d only shoved a jacket on without any other protection, he was grateful for the scarf. Even if it belonged to Jacob. He tightened it and tugged the fabric up over his nose to keep the winds from biting his cheekbones. It definitely could have smelled worse considering the acrid nicotine clinging to the wool but Rook had grown up in a family of chain-smokers and been an army man, so it didn’t bother him as much.

Jacob was far ahead by the time Rook could make his legs work, so he had to jog up to him. The snow tried to claim his boots with every step but he made it and Jacob said nothing, even when he’d expected to see the scarf floating down the river.

“This doesn’t make me forgive you,” Rook said through the fabric, enjoying how his warm breath was spread across his face pleasantly. 

“It’s not _your_ forgiveness I want.”

“Yeah, well, you did worse to Joseph than I did.” Boomer came back with the stick, wagging his tail and hesitating which man to go to. In the end, he went to Rook. “You’re gonna have to do a lot to gain his trust back.”

“I haven’t pushed you in the river. I’d say that’s progress.”

Rook laughed dryly even if he knew Jacob was not kidding. “Yeah, that’s a great start. Keep it up, I’m sure he’ll give you a gold star for not drowning me. Jesus Christ, you’re insane.”

There was an almost-smile on Jacob’s face. “Runs in the family.”

“Not just in the family. I’m pretty crazy too, considering I’m dating a doomsday preacher.” In all fairness, Joseph was the least-crazy in comparison to his bloodthirsty brothers. Rook could have picked worse. “And I’m friends with a guy who likes to skin people. I’d say we’re pretty equal.”

“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or not.” 

Boomer came back and Jacob threw it, way further than Rook could. The dog barked happily and sprinted away, kicking up snow onto their legs where it melted uncomfortably through the denim. Rook brushed it off while Jacob paid no attention.

“I’m not sure, either.”

They fell into a companionable silence and finished the trail by heading up a hill and beside a field. The crops had withered, small stalks of wheat sticking up every few meters. The noise of people came through the ranch as they reached the yard. Jacob looked oddly nervous.

“There’s too many people in our house,” he explained when Rook hadn’t asked at all. Boomer didn’t care, he ran to the front door and insisted to be let inside.

“I hate crowds too,” Rook admitted. He wasn’t sure why he was trying to agree with Jacob but Jacob nodded. “Let’s go through the back door.”

Rook ended up sitting in the kitchen with hot cocoa and watching Jacob prepare lunch. Boomer was exploring the house but Rook made sure he didn’t go near the hall. He wasn’t afraid of the peggies harming him; rather, Boomer would disappear under the eager hands and he’d never get his dog away from the endless cuddles. Not to mention the treats he’d receive just for existing. 

“Here,” Jacob said as he set their plates down. 

Meat and vegetables, borderline charred but still edible. Rook wasn’t about to complain and he found out as he ate that only Joseph was a decent cook. 

That’s how John found them, finally out of his room where he’d hidden away from the crowd. He looked dishevelled and took food from Rook’s plate without asking. Rook didn’t stop him because it meant he had to eat less and for once, that wasn’t a bad thing.

“I just got hugged by so many people,” John complained with a sigh. “I’m pretty sure a few of them grabbed my ass and there was definitely a hand on my dick at one point. Why the fuck do we have so many people here? Did I miss some kind of party?”

Jacob was trying not to laugh. It was the most human thing Rook had seen yet. 

“I thought public was your thing, John,” Rook teased, fixing him with a look. That night in the bunker was never going to fade from their minds. John kicked his shin under the table with his expensive boot and glaring at Rook. It reminded him that they weren’t the best of friends anymore but John’s glare faded and he looked almost apologetic. Rook dropped his gaze to the table.

“Rook invited them. Blame him,” Jacob said, eating what he cooked, _burned_ , and ignoring the squabble.

“Hey, it’s for a good cause,” Rook argued back and forgot who he was talking to. Jacob wasn’t family, not in the same way the others were, but here he was, arguing like siblings.

“What cause includes nearly fifty _unwashed_ people groping me? And don’t you start with that public thing. That was at a club and wholly consented. It was literally the point of that party to fu-”

“Could you not?” Jacob interrupted, fork held halfway up to his mouth. “I’m trying to eat.”

John reined himself in, grumbling under his breath about the audacity of the peggies’ lack of personal space. Rook stifled his laughter though it felt weak and tired.

“So, what exactly are we going to do with that many people? Surely you don’t expect me to give them access to the bunker? Because that is top luxury and it’s for us, Rookie luckily included.”

Jacob shrugged but he seemed to agree. 

“Did you just call me Rookie?”

John turned to him with a frown. “It slipped out, okay? What, do you not like it?”

“It’s fine. I’m just surprised-”

“Again, could you not? I don’t really want to hear you flirt, especially considering you’re on thin ice, Deputy.”

Both John and Rook went red, stammering and looking away to the side. 

“It’s not like that,” John started. Jacob raised a brow. “Really, it’s not. Rook doesn’t think I’m boyfriend material to begin with.”

“You, umm, no... Joseph is- He's more my type and no offence, John, you’re-”

Jacob threw his fork down on the plate, startling them. He’d finished already but it was just to be dramatic and break up the awkwardness spilling from Rook. It seemed for a moment that Jacob was angry but John could see the little smile playing at the corner of his lips. 

“Rook, I think we all get it,” John said. “I’m out of your league. And on that note, I now have to make my way back through that crowd to get back upstairs and hide from our unannounced guests.” He stood and tucked his chair under the table.

Jacob reached up and patted his back sarcastically. John glared in return.

“You’ll be okay,” Rook said. “Pretend you’re back at that club.”

John sneered. “At least the people there were hot and mostly undressed. I have no desire to see _them_ naked, not until they shower five times first.”

“Well, it’s the only action you’ll see for a while. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and enjoy it.” 

Rook definitely deserved the punch to his shoulder and the glare John threw at him. He wasn’t sure where the banter was coming from, Rook felt like curling up in a ball and fading away the second his mind drifted to his situation. It was easier to pretend he was okay and John seemed rather calm about it all.

John left to the sound of Jacob’s rough laughter. They heard the door to the hall open and the voices all chanting John’s name before it was closed. Jacob’s laughter died to easy chuckles and Rook couldn’t help looking his way, sharing something between them. The soldier took a drink and smiled over the rim.

“I’m beginning to see why Joseph likes you so much.”

“Oh yeah? Is it my dazzling personality?” Rook hid his intrigue behind the joke.

“You can torture John just like we can. It’s rare to find someone who can get under John’s skin like that.”

“It’s fun,” Rook admitted with his own brand of cruelty.

Jacob nodded and held his mug up for Rook to clink his against. “Yes, it is.”

\---

Whether the bunker had been placed strategically away from the hall was not Rook’s concern, but he was grateful to be able to slip downstairs with Boomer and return to the basement without seeing a single soul. 

Jacob had left to go do... something. He didn’t say where he was going and Rook couldn’t be bothered to ask.

Rook stayed away from _their_ bedroom because he knew the bed still smelled of Joseph and it was the last thing he needed. The rec room was a mess, though, because in his drunken stupor he’d gotten very angry. He cringed at the sight of empty beer bottles and a whiskey which barely had any drops left. He left it alone, his stomach churning uncomfortably at the thought of alcohol. His ‘morning’ had mostly been spent over the toilet bowl before he found the strength to go outside. 

He cleaned for over an hour, tossing what he’d used into a trash bag and taking it to the bunker doors. There was no way he could leave it all down there for someone else to find. As he dropped the bag, someone knocked on the door.

Rook opened it and John leaned against the frame casually. He’d changed into a nice charcoal grey suit with a black shirt with the top three buttons undone.

“Going somewhere nice?” Rook commented as he admired the outfit. Even he had to admit John looked really good. The waistcoat tucked everything close but the jacket managed to hide just how skinny he’d gotten.

“Joseph is hosting a sermon at last. We’re gathering outside tonight. He’s been rushing everyone to prepare. Would you like to come?” 

Rook knew not to decline, not if he wanted to earn Joseph’s respect again. “Yeah, just let me clean up. How long have I got?”

“Over two hours, more than enough. You can borrow my clothes.”

Rook raised a brow when John pushed off the wall and shoved past into the bunker. “Uh, why?”

“Because, Deputy, you look like a disaster.”

“I’m hungover.”

“You’re... Hold on, did you drink _my_ stash?” John didn’t wait for an answer, he went straight to the stock room. Rook heard a dramatic gasp and then his name being yelled. He went to John, his head hung low. John looked ready to scream at him but seeing Rook, the pieces clicked in his head. “You needed to forget, didn’t you? About him.”

Rook looked away and nodded, suddenly cold and feeling the weight of John’s words. They’d dragged him back into reality, one he desperately wanted to forget.

“I had to. There was nothing yesterday, no sign. Sharky’s gone and it’s all my fault. I miss him so much.” 

John turned away to give Rook some semblance of privacy as he cried. He held an arm out and Rook came to him, carefully avoiding pressing his wet face to his chest.

“It’s all my fault...”

John reached up to cup Rook’s head, tilting him so he could look him in the eyes. “You can make things right. You’re already taking the first step. Now, let’s get you washed and groomed and see what I can do about your clothes.”

The shower helped Rook to calm down. He took deep breaths and let the water stream down his back. The headache had faded to a low dull that he could ignore easily with some distraction. When he came out of John’s bathroom, because he couldn’t go back to _their_ room, he found the man laying clothes on the bed.

He hadn’t commented on the design but it was more opulent than he’d imagined. The walls were painted a somber grey and the furniture was dark oak with accents of metal and glass. He had a large desk along the far wall, beside two large black wardrobes with mirrors attached to the front. The shelves were made of oak too, single bars along the wall covered in photographs and bits of John’s life. 

The bed was enormous, stretched long and wide and low to the ground above a fluffy white rug. The sheets were latte-coloured beneath all the clothes John was dragging out of the wardrobe. It was a very nice room.

“You’re really not a minimalistic person, are John?” Rook said, taking a shirt into his hands to feel the soft cotton.

“The world may have ended but I refuse to die looking like trash.”

“Why are you helping me, John?”

John stopped for moment, like he’d been frozen in front of the open wardrobe with his arm reaching for a hangar. “Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because I fucked up. I can’t begin to imagine how much you must hate me so I don’t understand why you’re being nice. With Jacob, I just thought it was the moment. You know, acting like everything was okay but you’re doing this now and I just-” Rook stopped before he babbled on for the rest of the night. He sat on the edge of the bed, the one corner not drowned under designer clothes.

“Let’s make something very clear, Deputy,” John said as he came to stand in front of Rook. He grabbed the man’s chin and brought his head up, forcing eye contact. “I am very, _very_ angry with you. If you had done what you did to me, I would’ve thrown you to my men and let them use you as they pleased. However, I’m making an effort to play nice these days.”

With the threat presented boldly in Rook’s face, sending icy shivers down his back, John pushed some shirts aside and sat beside him.

“That being said, you hurt my brother a lot. First you took his siblings from him, and then you decided that cheating was a good idea.”

“I never-” John shushed him with a finger to his lips.

“I don’t care, Deputy. What I care about is you making this right because not only is my eldest brother practically out of the family picture, my potential partner is too. I liked Boshaw, I said as much. Of course, I’m not surprised. He is a sinner, as are you, trusting him was a mistake. Men fall so easily for Lust, it’s the most common sin beside Greed. And you, Deputy, are very greedy, so you will make it up to Joseph.”

John pulled his hand back finally and let the words sink in. Rook was silent but his eyes were wetly rimmed and his breath came out shakily. He looked small in that moment, a billion miles away from the terror that had stood above him in the field and left him to die. John didn’t smile but he felt like perhaps he should. In the end, he stood to ponder his wardrobe again.

“I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just wanted to be honest.”

“Sometimes the truth is best kept close to the heart.”

“Are you saying I should have lied?” 

John scoffed. “There’s a difference between lying and keeping silent. If you had kept your mouth shut, Boshaw would be in here readying for the sermon and you’d be in Joseph’s loving arms.”

Rook nodded weakly, picturing Sharky laughing at all the fancy clothes like they had done when the ranch was liberated. He should’ve known, it was obvious looking back on how Sharky had looked at him. All those sweet comments, the lingering looks, how Sharky had no issue holding him in his sleep when it got cold- even before the bunker- Rook was a fucking idiot.

“How do I make this better?” 

“You start,” John threw more clothes on the bed. “By getting dressed and supporting Joseph during his sermon. After that, baby steps.” 

Rook glanced over his shoulder at the mess of colours and patterns and logos he’d only seen in shop windows and never bothered to obtain. “So, what would you suggest?”

“Well, I don’t have all the time I’d like but I think this, this, and this would good. Go on, try it on.”

Rook watched him pull things from the pile, frowning deeper and deeper as John wouldn’t stop. Clearly John thought he was some Ken doll to dress up. He held the hangers out for Rook to grab.

“Come on, hurry up. We’ve only got an hour now.

“Right here? I don’t even have any boxers.”

John threw everything back down, going to his chest of drawers for some underwear. He passed it to Rook, all Armani and more expensive that it was worth. Rook went to the bathroom and came out quickly.

John had only gathered more clothes. Rook grabbed his hands to stop him.

“Enough, enough. I can’t wear everything all at once. Just let me...” 

There was a pair of black Levis that Rook felt drawn to. He could begin to understand why John spent so much money on looking good. Of course, it was so much more than Rook could ever afford but still, it was nice to at least borrow it. 

He pulled the jeans on, surprised at how well they fitted but he and John were close to the same height and they’d both lost weight. John held out a navy shirt with tiny white dots.

“What, nothing with planes?” Rook joked, taking it and throwing it on. He grabbed a brown belt from the pile. “I don’t suppose you’ve got boots I can wear? Mine are _trash_ , as you would say.” He air quoted and watched John move back to the wardrobes, pulling out brown boots from a rack to match the belt. “Thanks.”

Rook sat on the bed and shoved them on, half a size too big but he couldn’t complain when everything else fitted so well. When he’d laced them up and rolled the cuffs of the jeans up twice, John was holding a beautiful, brown leather jacket. It was worn down at the elbows and it had wrinkled naturally around the back. That was not achieved in a factory.

“Is that yours?” Rook stood and turned his back to John, letting him slip it over his arms like they were going to prom together. He shrugged it into place, inhaling the old leather, and flexed his arms to test the mobility.

“Yes, a parting gift from a university friend. I used to have a motorcycle,” John said fondly, brushing his hands down Rook’s shoulders and arms. He lingered a bit before making Rook turn to face him. “You look good. I’m sure Joseph will approve.”

John offered his arm and Rook linked them, switching off the light before heading out of the bunker. Boomer ran ahead of them, barking and spinning in circles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was bit more interesting than the last. Let me know what you thought!


	22. We built pyres for the Gods

Rook had to give credit where it was due. The peggies moved fast. He wasn’t sure where they’d gotten the wood for the pyres but as John led him out, he saw that they were pouring gasoline on them. The pyres were enormous, branches and logs piled upwards against each other. Three trucks were parked at angles, the headlights on and shining brightly while the middle one faced the opposite way with the bed open. 

The crowds had already gathered, shivering in the night air and huddling close as they waited for the sermon to begin. John kept going around the peggies until he stood at the very front. Jacob was already standing there, surveying the crowd. Rook was forced to stand between the brothers.

He noticed even Jacob had bothered to dress up a bit. His jeans weren’t dirty and he’d found a dark shirt somewhere and covered it up with the same black jacket he’d worn in the early afternoon. He’d trimmed his beard too. Clearly this meant a lot to them.

John slipped an arm around Rook’s back, his hand clasping his shoulder to pull him closer.

“I’m glad you agreed to come,” he whispered in his ear. “The people need to see you too. You’re one of us now, after all.”

His words should have made Rook’s spine crawl. That wasn’t supposed to be a good thing, to be recognised as someone equal to the Seeds. Rook glanced around. People were looking at them but mostly at him, whispering things under their breaths.

“You should be proud,” John continued with a smile. “You brought them here. Together, we can rebuild Eden in our image.”

“No, it’s going to be different.” Rook turned back to him, holding his gaze. “What you did before, all of you, won’t happen again. We have to move forward and we have to be better.”

John frowned, tried to find a way to twist Rook’s words or find something to break open. To do what he did best and take control. Before he could, the crowd went silent and the pyres were lit. The flames engulfed them, rising high in the dark sky and warming the air. 

“My Brothers and Sisters,” Joseph began. He’d climbed on top of the truck bed so all could see him. He wore a white shirt with a black band around the collar, like a priest, and he watched everybody as they turned their attention to him. Some gasped, others cried before he’d begun. Rook felt rooted to the ground, held down by John’s arm and Jacob’s body pressed to his side for warmth. He had nowhere to look but up at the preacher.

“I look upon you all tonight with melancholy in my heart. We have lost so much and gained so little. The day of Judgement finally came and not all of us survived. Tonight, I want to honour the souls we lost. Our families, our loved ones, our neighbours, and our friends. They are with God now, safe from our world and its hatred.”

Joseph clasped his hands together and the crowd mirrored it, bowing their heads in silence.

“Let us take a moment to commemorate them. Remind yourself of their faces, their voices, and their place in our hearts. Pray for their souls and thank God for watching over them in eternity.”

Some in the crowd broke down into tears. Joseph closed his eyes and Rook wondered if he was thinking of anyone in particular. He glanced either side of him and found Jacob staring ahead with his gloved hands in his pockets and John with his head bowed respectfully. The youngest Seed couldn’t put his hands together, intent on gripping Rook instead.

Joseph opened his eyes and extended his arms. “Although we all have lost things close to our hearts, we are not alone. Turn to those among you and find solace together. We can’t lose our greatest strength: hope. Our world is not gone. The resources to build are at our fingertips, we merely have to reach out and take them. We inherited this world and we cannot let it be consumed by hatred again.Hatred was humanity’s fuel. The politicians, the warmongers, the liars, the thieves, the _SINNERS_ , were full of hate and it brought the inevitable downfall of our kind. We cannot follow their example.”

There was chatter on the edge of the crowd that wasn’t caused by Joseph’s sermon. People were coming. Joseph paused and lowered his arms, watching as figures came closer towards the light. Rook recognised the Sheriff and his friends, all armed and wary of the peggies. There was tension in the air, people unsure whether to shoot.

“There will be no bloodshed here,” Joseph announced to everyone, gesturing for the guards to stand down. “Please, come closer. Warm yourselves by our fire. You have every right to hear my words.”

Rook wanted to join the Sheriff and they locked eyes across the yard. He couldn’t tell what the man thought but considering the Seeds were holding onto him and Joseph was preaching again, it couldn’t be good. Joey looked ready to cross the space and put a dozen bullets in John's head. Staci was there too, staring at Jacob in fear. 

In the end, Earl came closer into the light. Joseph nodded at him before turning back to his crowd. Half of them were watching the newcomers and biting their tongues, not daring to interrupt the Father.

“These people who have come here tonight have survived just as we have,” Joseph started again. “They have lost as much as we have. There are many differences between us, and hatred in between, but at the end of the day we have more similarities than before. It is why we must put the hatred aside. I ask you all here tonight to accept my decision to form an alliance.”

Those who’d bit their tongues couldn’t hold out any longer. One person shouted profanity at the cops and then suddenly the whole crowd was consumed with yells and slurs. Whitehorse had his gun up before the guards, backing slowly away.

“Enough,” Joseph yelled. Like disobedient children who’d been caught by a parent, they fell silent. “We cannot fight each other. Not anymore. Our old world is gone and we’re all that’s left. I cannot make you follow my guidance but those who do not stand with me must leave. We have no place for troublemakers.”

Rook was in awe, watching as his friends were allowed to see the major change Joseph had taken. He felt Joseph’s words impact the crowd.

“They will kill us,” someone yelled out behind Rook. People started murmuring in agreement. Rook really, really hated crowds.

Joseph silenced the man with a raised hand and turned to Earl. “I don’t know what you came here to do, Sheriff. My people have the right to be afraid. On their behalf, I am willing to lay down our arms if you can accept to do the same.”

Earl stepped closer, past the pyres, and kept walking until he was in front of Joseph. Staci and Joey tried to hold him back but Earl refused to show fear, especially in front of the Father. Joseph looked down at him curiously before he climbed down off the truck and met Earl on equal ground.

“Our people cannot afford to be enemies,” he said, focused solely on Earl. Rook was waiting with bated breath like everyone else. John squeezed his shoulder tightly. “Help me restore our world. I can’t do it without you.”

Joseph held out his hand. Earl looked at it and frowned.

“No, I suppose neither of us can.” Earl holstered his pistol and took Joseph’s hand, grasping it firmly. 

Rook felt air rush back into his lungs. John relaxed and sighed, and Jacob patted his back. When he glanced over, Jacob threw him a proud smile. Rook had done well. He felt pride blossom in his chest. 

“We have a lot to talk about, Joseph Seed,” Earl stated, dropping his hand and glancing at the crowd. He found Rook and nodded his approval subtly.

“Yes, I think we do.” Joseph turned to his flock. “Those of you who wish to leave can do so now. You will not be harmed. That is not our way anymore. Leave in peace and never return.”

Rook was surprised when not a single person budged, not even the ones who’d yelled their discontent earlier. Joseph had impossible control over his people and once that would have terrified Rook, but now he was grateful. Whether the truce would hold would be a test of time but Rook could see the bond growing between their people.

John led him back inside once the sermon was cut short. He was sure Joseph had planned for far more preaching but the Sheriff urged him away to discuss the conditions of their truce privately. Some cult members huddled by the fire and most went back into the hall for the night. There was nowhere for the brothers or Rook to go without treading on people, so Rook allowed Jacob down into the bunker.

* * *

There was warmth everywhere, over and around Rook. He shoved his face deeper into the pillow and inhaled contently. His body was slowly waking up but he had no intention of leaving the bed. An arm was thrown over his naked waist and he felt someone pull themselves closer.

“Mhmm, Joseph... don’t. It’s too early,” he mumbled with a smile as kisses landed on his shoulder and trailed down towards his neck. A beard scratched pleasantly at his sensitive skin.

“I’m not Joseph.”

Rook almost knocked John off the bed by sitting up. He heard John’s soft laughter and felt his hand curling over his torso, digging his nails gently into the soft hair that trailed down to his crotch. Rook glared down at him and then himself, and slowly looked over to the other side where Jacob was passed out beside him. His large arm was also holding on but it had slipped into Rook’s lap when he’d moved.

“Why the fuck-? _What_.” Rook pulled the blanket up just to check. He was still wearing pants, thank God. “John, why are we in your bed?”

“You didn’t want to sleep in yours last night,” he answered with a shrug, settling back down on the bed comfortably. He wasn’t wearing a shirt either and Rook wasn’t aware the man had so many more tattoos and scars. It made sense but he just hadn’t thought about that.

“That doesn’t explain why _he’s_ here too. Please don’t tell me we... you know. Like, I’m wearing pants but still.” 

John laughed again and grabbed Rook by the waist, pulling him down. Jacob restored his claim too, grunting in his sleep.

“Relax, Deputy. My brother and I did not share you.” 

“What happened then?”

“You used my liquor stock again but I don’t mind. You were kind enough to share. After you became tipsy, Jacob carried you here. He was reluctant to go back upstairs so I invited him to stay. That’s all, I promise. Nobody touched you.”

Rook sighed in relief, body going limp under John’s circling fingers on his belly. He could have strayed lower down to his waistband but John kept it above respectfully.

“And did I do anything?”

“Oh, many things. You told us stories about your past and your first date.” Rook groaned, cringing hard at the memory. He was young, he didn’t know how to kiss and he didn’t mean to knock her front tooth loose. “And you were very adamant about swearing Jacob to Hell and back. You threatened him with a knife and when he disarmed you, you called him a pussy and told him to ‘ _catch these hands_ ’ and then you crawled into his lap on the floor and kept drinking.”

“Oh God...”

“It was a very fun night. I only wish I had my phone on hand but it’s upstairs with a dead battery.”

“I’m never drinking again. Joseph hasn’t come down, has he?”

John shook his head, hair clumped with old gel and in need of a wash. He looked tired, dark bags under his eyes.

“I think he was quite busy with the Sheriff. I doubt he got much sleep but I suppose it’s worth it. You did well, Deputy. I told you that already but I’m sure you’ve forgotten.” John stopped stroking him and Rook whined. He raised a brow as well as his hand to ruffle Rook’s hair. “The county has you to thank, again. It seems like you enjoy saving the day.”

“I just want to do what’s best for everyone. I care about you, all of you. Even the asshole snoring behind me, if you can believe it or not.”

“I _am_ awake,” Jacob grumbled like a bear, half asleep and already being insulted. “But I appreciate the lovey-dovey feelings you have for me, kid.”

“Kid? No, no, if you get to call me that, you’re getting called an old man.”

“I’m not old.” Jacob reinforced this by grabbing Rook by the waist and pulling him against his chest. Thankfully, he was wearing a shirt but Rook still felt incredibly exposed between the brothers. He believed John obeyed the unspoken rule of not interfering with Rook’s relationship, no matter how shaky, but still... It was hard to when John kissed his skin and Jacob spooned his backside.

“You’re pushing fifty,” Rook stated to prove his point further, despite being manhandled by someone far fitter and stronger than he was despite being almost twenty years younger.

“Uh huh, keep talking, Rookie. You’re just going to make it worse for yourself in the end.”

“That doesn’t sound very threatening.” 

Jacob chuckled darkly and held him tight, hand splayed over his stomach. John only felt more encouraged, curling closer and pressing himself against Rook’s front like he was moulded to it. 

Rook held John tighter and smiled against his forehead, pressing the briefest of kisses there before calming himself so he could go back to sleep. Jacob’s hand retreated to his hips, rubbing back and forth.

“You’re not the worst thing to have happened to our family,” Jacob mumbled against his shoulder.

“Thanks. That almost sounded nice. I’m oddly fine with that.”

Jacob hummed and nuzzled closer, his arm extending to hold John too. Rook realised without much shock that his life was sheer insanity now and he’d claimed it proudly. It wasn’t so bad. Now he had to go see Joseph and try to keep it together.

\---

Rook knew he had missed the usual breakfast time, too lazy to get out of bed even when Jacob insisted they move. He was the first to leave, grabbing a shower in John’s bathroom. They heard his laughter at John’s immaculate selection of soaps and hair gels. When he came back, smelling like an expensive escort, John took his turn.

Jacob had lingered for a moment, unsure whether he was wanted to stay or not, and then decided it was for the best that he left. Rook did say goodbye, watching him close the door. At least it seemed like they wouldn’t kill each other any time soon. Rook couldn’t think about forgiveness, not yet. There was too much on his mind.

John was in the bathroom for ages so Rook sighed and yanked the covers off. He needed a wash, stinking of smoke from Jacob’s cigarettes and John’s whiskey. He snuck into the bathroom and John was thankfully drying himself off, only John didn’t notice him at first and screamed.

Rook burst into laughter. “It’s only me, Jesus Christ. Never thought you’d scream like a little girl.”

“Shut up! You scared me, okay? I’m not done, fuck off!”

Rook shook his head and started stripping down, too needy for a shower to care. He did cover himself with his hand. “You’re taking too long. We’re both men. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

He bundled the expensive clothes and shoved them by the door in a neat-ish pile. As he passed John to climb into the enormous natural-stone shower, he noticed the tattoos decorating John’s back. They were inked over white scars but he could see the damage of his childhood criss-crossed all the way from his shoulders to his hips.

“I can feel you staring,” John mumbled, wrapping the towel around him. He didn’t turn, knowing that his eyes certainly would not focus solely on Rook’s face.

“Sorry... It’s just-” Rook was unsure of what to say. His parents hadn’t been the kindest but he’d never dealt with abuse. Was mentioning it likely to offend John?

“The past is the past,” John stated.

“No one should have to go through that.”

John tensed and turned his head slightly, nodding. “Thanks, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it now. The people who did this are long dead. They don’t matter anymore.” John drifted off, his voice turning soft as he lingered in his memories. 

Rook reached out to grab his shoulder gently, startling the man. His thumb rubbed into the skin, just on the edge of a particularly long scar. John shivered.

“Is this okay?” He asked carefully, not wanting to push John away when he was being so open.

“Yeah, I don’t usually let people do this.”

Rook dared to lean forward a press a kiss at the base of his neck where the bone stuck out. John gasped and put his hand over Rook’s.

“St-stop...”

Rook moved back with a frown, unsure whether he’d crossed an unspoken line. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t, Rook. Like I said, I don’t let people do that. Feels a bit too good.”

“So why do you want me to stop?”

John laughed softly and leaned back into Rook’s warm hands holding his shoulders. He felt Rook’s chest and sighed contently. John turned then, in his arms, and grabbed his cheeks. Rook thought he was going to be kissed but John kept a small distance between them. His eyes were half shut, his whole body relaxed in Rook’s hands even if the Deputy was entirely naked and John was only covered by a towel. Rook had never seen him so content.

“Enjoy your shower.” John stroked his cheek and leaned in once more, kissing Rook’s cheek and chuckling against his skin before he pulled away and left.

Rook needed a moment to gather his thoughts, and then threw himself under the water. He scrubbed John’s touch from his skin roughly and ignored the growing ache between his legs. 

He loved Joseph with all his heart. He’d been staying away for far too long. Joseph could set him straight, surely, make him ignore his growing feelings for others. It was the isolation he’d brought upon himself. Joseph could fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second and third section went through so much editing and cutting, you wouldn't believe. It was M-rated at least and many boners were involved. I kept the parts so if anyone wants to read that, find me on Tumblr @topwizzynum
> 
> Anyhoo, what did y'all think of Joseph's sermon?


	23. Ain't crawling to no one

The hall was alive with noise so Rook stayed far away, clicking his tongue at Boomer when he whined and sniffed at the door. He went to the kitchen, John close behind and dressed smartly. Joseph sat at the table already and Rook’s friends had joined him. There were maps, notebooks, pens and endless balled papers on the floor. Boomer recognised the people and went to them demanding cuddles.

“Morning, son,” Earl greeted, barely looking up from the table. Joseph glanced up respectfully but Staci was the only one to get up and hug Rook.

“Hey man, good to see you,” Staci said with a grin, wrapping an arm around Rook’s shoulders and pulling him towards the group.

John stood in the doorway awkwardly, eyes fixed on Hudson. She was frozen too, glaring intensely, and Rook reached out to touch her arm. She flinched and blinked, diverting her attention to smile fondly at Rook before listening to whatever Joseph was saying.

Rook shrugged out of Staci’s hold. “Anyone want coffee?”

“Yes, please,” Earl said with a grateful smile. “None of us have slept. We’re all running on caffeine at this point.”

Rook started the machine up, grabbing the empty mugs from the table. He glanced at their notes, finding mentions of power rerouting and solar energy. 

“How’s everything going?” He asked, moving swiftly around everybody. John busied himself with breakfast, knowing Joseph’s hospitality meant their guests had already eaten. The plates were piled in the sink. It gave him a chance to ignore Hudson, there was no way he was going to have a civil conversation with her that didn’t involve a knife through his hand.

Joseph looked up, passing the notebook to Earl as he leaned back and flexed his hands, popping the joints with a relieved sigh. Pratt cringed. 

“It's going well, we’ve made a lot of progress. The Sheriff and I have agreed not to repeat the past. There won’t be any conflict between our people. The Project will remain but we will practice our faith peacefully and keep it to ourselves.”

“That’s... impressive. Okay, headway’s been made. So then the peggies stick to themselves. No more reaping, looting camps, or visible signs. Right?”

Joseph made a face that showed Rook just how displeased he was with the agreements. “Yes, our properties will be the only place we can express ourselves. The hospital, the church, and of course here as well.”

“And when you get round to it,” Earl smoothly interrupted. “The rest of the cult’s signs and flags will get taken down. We’re trying to get back to normal. Fall’s End is our main concern for morale and general business. We’ll need to establish a safe meeting point there for both sides so none of us have to tread on each other’s territories.”

The coffee machine beeped and Rook tore his eyes away from the map to bring the mugs around. John was busy with the frying pan and kept quiet, listening to everything and watching Joseph react to having his leash cut short.The resistance was coming out as the winner. They had more land and far less restrictions. John didn’t like it. He preferred it when everything was theirs for the taking.

“Sounds good,” Rook said. “A middle ground where we can meet as allies. Are we thinking about the other regions yet?” Rook sat beside Joseph, flashing him a little supportive smile. Joseph nudged his leg with his boot, linking their ankles beneath the table. Rook startled and felt warmth blossom in his chest.

“The only thing of value in the Henbane is the prison,” Earl admitted, pulling a hand over his face to hide a yawn. “Back then, we used it as a base of operations. I know it ain’t the comfiest place to stay, certainly not five stars, but it’s sturdy and built to last.”

“I was there just after I left the Den. It’s deserted.”

“Alright, makes it easier to move in. I have far too many people up in the mountains with me and not enough supplies or beds. They could use the prison as a home. There’s enough space for it. Only problem is that it’s hard to get to if we’ve got some issue, never mind the fact that the Henbane is a pile of ashes. Which means we need to allocate space for crops and livestock if we can get any,” Rook said, watching as Staci took notes. “And then set up deliveries for all our outposts.”

He glanced at Hudson and saw her fixated on John. He was finishing up, placing food on two plates and proceeding to carry them over. One went to Rook and John sat beside him, opposite Joey. She refused to look away, her fists clenched on the table top. 

“For crops, we need to wait until the snow melts,” Joseph pointed out. “There’s no point ruining the machines on frozen soil and we don’t have enough people to begin with.”

Earl clutched his mug and took long sips, thinking. “We can lend hands but those crops cannot go to the cult alone. We need to share resources equally.”

“I agree. Now that we have a rough plan, where do we start?” Joseph asked, reaching for Staci’s notes. He took them and placed the book between him and Earl. 

“Well, crops have to wait. Ain’t nothing we can do about that. Those solar panels you were talking about, I think I know where I can get some spare. It’ll take a while to set them up but we can start with the town. I’ve got a kid who’s great with electronics, he could sort out the radio towers and get some communication going too.”

Rook realised he was ignoring his breakfast. It was lukewarm by the time he started eating but at least it wasn’t burned like Jacob’s food yesterday. He glanced at John, elbowing his side, and gave him a thumbs-up. Joey rolled her eyes.

The group kept talking well into the afternoon. Rook wasn’t sure how everybody was still wide awake. John left shortly after breakfast, excusing himself. It was probably due to Joey’s uncontrolled rage towards him. Joseph didn’t stop him.

After a while, Boomer got restless and wanted to go out. Rook stood and informed them he’d be gone for a bit and Staci ended up following. The sun was still shining and the storm had passed. Thin clouds drifted above like wisps of cotton candy, white and free of rain and snow.

Staci took out a cigarette immediately, yawning as he did. He didn’t bother offering one to Rook, keeping pace as they walked along the property and took in the fresh air. Boomer was ahead of them.

“Holy shit, that was boring,” Staci exclaimed, sighing heavily and rubbing his eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, this is great and all. But you remember I could barely sit through work meetings, let alone this shit. Fuck, you’d think that lot would take just a five minute break but no. My ass is all stiff from that damn chair.”

Staci took a deep breath and glanced at Rook, who was beyond amused. “Are you done yet? Or was that just the first part?”

“Let a man rant. Yeah, yeah, I’m done.”

“It’s been a progressive day. I’m surprised how well Earl took it.”

Staci nodded, stretching when Rook stopped by some trees and grabbed a stick to throw for Boomer. Staci made grunts of pain when he rolled his shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s literally all he’s been talking about since you left. I’ll be honest, Joseph seems pretty chill now. You tame him with your dick?”

“Ha, maybe. No, honestly, we’ve had plenty of time to talk and apologise. We both did shit we’re not proud of.”

Staci tilted his head in agreement, inhaling his smoke and blowing it up high above him. “I guess you get along well with the Seeds then. John looked real cosy beside you, if you ignore Hudson’s thousand mile stare off.”

“They need to make amends.”

“She’ll knock his teeth out.”

“If that’s what it takes.” After a moment, Rook added, “He’s not here, you know. Jacob. I think he went out to the hospital to sort something out.”

Staci pulled a face that was an odd combination of relief and disappointment. He leaned against the fence lining the driveway, watching as Boomer ran up and down the flattened snow. Rook pressed against his side, hands shoved deep in his coat pockets.

“Last night, when I saw him, I thought it was a trick,” Staci said quietly. “Like he wasn’t really there. I don’t know what to think, he messed with my head so much. It’s fucked up but it wasn’t that bad after a while. By the time you came to free me, he was almost nice. I had my own room, three meals a day, and he gave me important jobs. I followed him around, took notes, made sure everything was running smoothly. Guess he turned me into a peggie at some point and I never realised.”

“You hate them, Staci. You’re not a peggie.”

“No, I know I’m not, but they were right at the end of the day. The world did blow up.” He sighed shakily and took another drag, deeper and longer so it burned his lungs. “You know what? It was kinda nice at some point with him. Once I had my purpose, he... uh... made life a lot more pleasurable.”

“He touched you?”

Staci snorted. “Man, don’t make it sound like _that_. I don’t need to point at a doll. There was one day when I’d stopped something going wrong while he was away and he was proud of me. Felt good, you know. He really makes you know when you’ve done well and since I already had my stuff back-” Staci gestured to his badge, pinned to his stolen jacket. “He found other ways, almost worshipped me some times.”

“He showed you he was proud.” Rook knew what that felt like because he’d done it to Joseph. Held him down and kissed every inch of skin. He couldn’t picture Jacob being so soft and gentle.

“I can’t hate him. I want to because he fucked me up so bad I couldn’t tell which way was up but... I’m the only one he’s done that too. Makes it kinda special, don’t it?”

“I suppose. But things aren’t like that anymore. You don’t have to follow him around or listen to him. He doesn’t own you. The cult’s not the same. Jacob can’t harm you again.”

Staci nodded slowly. “I’m not staying for long but could you stick around? I don’t... I don’t need a guardian or anything, but I have zero clue how I’ll react when I see him properly. I might punch him or fall to my knees and crawl to him.”

“You’re not crawling for anybody. I’m not letting that happen.” Rook threw an arm around his shoulders and started leading them back into the house. “Feel free to punch him, though.”

“Yeah, I kinda wanna know what that feels like. Thanks, Rookie. You’re the best. Hey, I've been meaning to ask: where's my favourite pyro-freak?”

"He's, uh, not around these days. Something happened with Joseph."

Staci wanted to ask many more questions but he saw the grief on his friend's face and thought better. "Well, when you see him, tell him I said hi."

"Will do. Come on, let's get back inside. It's freezing out here." 

\---

When they re-entered the kitchen, only Joseph was sat at the table. He was bent over the notebooks, pen twirling between his fingers. Rook glided his hand across his back, making the man shiver and lean back. He tilted his head up to gaze at Rook. Staci thankfully made himself sparse and went to hunt down his friends.

“Hello, Rook. It’s been a while since we’ve been alone.” Joseph tried to smile but it was painfully fake. Rook brought his head down and kissed his lips, making the preacher gasp and grab his hair to keep Rook in place. “You have no idea how much I missed your lips, my dear.”

“I missed you, too, but I needed space. It’s still difficult.” Rook moved so he could sit in Joseph’s lap and wrap his arms around his neck.

“I admit I needed space too.” 

Rook knew Joseph wasn’t ready to apologise for sending Sharky away, certainly not when it was a very fresh wound he’d torn in Rook. Joseph thought he was doing the right thing but more often than not, his decisions hurt the people he cared the most about. 

“How are you?” Joseph asked, holding his partner close even when there was no need. Rook was neither about to slip off nor walk away.

“I’m not sure I could describe how I feel in a couple words.”

“I have all the time you need. The others have taken a well-earned break, some have seeked out the guest bedrooms. If you’d like, we can go downstairs and be completely alone.”

Rook glanced around, no sign of anybody returning soon. Staci had mentioned working from the early morning onwards, as well as the night before, so Rook could understand why everyone was avoiding the kitchen and _more_ work.

“You have a strange look in your eyes, Rook. Would you like to talk to me?” Joseph’s hand brushed hair behind his lover’s ear, dragging his knuckles down his stubbled jaw and neck. 

“There’s a lot I want to say right now. If I start, it’s gonna come out a jumbled mess.” Joseph sighed, like he knew Rook enough to figure out it was his way of changing topics. “I just... Whatever I say will piss you off.”

“I’d rather know what’s on your mind,” Joseph insisted, _urged_ really. The distance had grown between them and he missed hearing Rook’s endless chatter, especially when it gave him insight into the man’s cryptic mind.

“Alright, fine. Just don’t get mad at me.” Rook fixed him with a look that screamed ‘ _you brought this on yourself_ ’. “I’m angry at you. I doubt myself at every turn now because I’m either disappointing someone or trying to make things work with others when I know I shouldn’t bother. I’m lonely because my best friend is gone, just like that and without a goodbye. I miss you but up until now, I couldn’t face you without feeling sick. And I... I-” 

Rook suddenly pulled away and stood, turning to point a finger at Joseph. Anger flamed in his eyes, Wrath he couldn’t control.

“Do you have any idea what you did?! Sharky is my _best_ friend! Out of everybody out there, he was the only one who didn’t hold me to certain standards; who didn’t shove responsibility that I didn’t ask for down my fucking throat! And you threw him away because you were jealous.”

Joseph leaned forward, elbows on the table as he placed his hands over his mouth. He didn’t meet Rook’s glare but hung his head, linking his fingers together as if praying for help.

“I told you why I did it!" Rook continued. "I had a valid reason and I felt so fucking guilty afterwards. I came to you, Joseph. Told you the truth when I could’ve kept my mouth shut. He’d still be here and guess what? Nothing would have fucking happened!”

Rook wanted to scream and throw something against the wall, breaking it into hundreds of pieces. But he didn’t because it would scare Joseph, make him flinch and relieve buried memories, and Rook wasn’t a cunt so he kept away from the mug on the table.

“He’s gone because of you! It’s your fucking fault and you sit there like it doesn’t even bother you how much you hurt me.”

“I didn’t think he would leave the county. I thought he’d go back to the bunker on the island,” Joseph confessed with a deep sigh, looking straight forward into nothingness. “Rook, you have to understand- I know what you both share, it’s a bond that can’t be broken.” Joseph finally looked at him intensely and Rook flinched at the raw emotions in his eyes. “It’s stronger than what we have.”

“Do- Wait, did you think I was going to dump you? Seriously, after all the shit we’ve been through?” Rook was rooted to the ground, which was a good thing as he was close to sprinting out of the room to avoid the conflicting mess that was Joseph. He was ridiculous.

“It’s not personal. I’m used to losing people. It’s so common these days so it was only natural to assume-”

Rook held up a hand, frowning and laughed dryly. “Oh, no, you can fuck right off with whatever you’re about to say next. Do you even realise that I am a human being? I’ve lost as much as you have. My friends, my family, everyone I ever cared for is dead or missing! I was never going to leave you or cheat on you. Yeah, guys are tempting but it’s one thing to flirt with someone and literally fuck them.”

“Don’t say that,” Joseph mumbled, watching as Rook resumed his erratic pacing and wild gesturing.

“Oh, what, _fuck_? I wouldn’t have! I’m not out there shoving my dick down people’s throats or begging to get laid. I kissed my friend and it felt nice for one second before I felt like shit.” Rook stopped when he saw the tears running down the preacher’s cheeks. “Joseph... Look, we both made mistakes. I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t...” He rubbed a heavy hand over his eyes and hung his head, unable to look at Rook. “I thought he’d go to the bunker. It wasn’t supposed to be for long, I just needed to make sure you were still mine. I was going to bring him back once you both learned your lessons. I’m- I’m sorry-I-” Joseph broke down, weeping softly with the weight of his mistake crashing on him. Exhaustion eroded his mental defences and left him more vulnerable than he was willing to admit.

Rook wanted to reach out but he stayed planted. Joseph needed to come to terms with his actions.

“Rook... What I did was extreme, I know that. I did it because you hurt me greatly. You have no idea what it’s like to slowly gain hope and have it ripped from you.” Joseph paused and looked down at his forearm, to the beautiful woman framed in flowers. His fingers traced around her face. “When she died, I was left with a dying baby. The choice I made was not easy, in fact it was the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make. I wonder what she’d be like today, an adult ready to face the world, whether she’d take after her mother or her father, if she’d be a mix of us both- In one day, I lost my wife and my daughter and I was alone. I had God, yes, but no human at my side.”

Rook listened quietly, his anger fading slowly.

“You were the first person I’ve loved since she died. Twenty years without a real, meaningful relationship. I know that I’m not the best at expressing myself honestly but when you told me you loved you, I don’t think I’ve felt happier since the day I married her. You meant only the best by telling the truth but in doing so, you... broke me. I hate saying that, I do, but you did. I can’t- I can’t lose someone again, I’ve sacrificed so much for my family and for God.”

Joseph stopped looking at the tattoo and wiped tears away with his fingertips. He met Rook’s eyes and smiled faintly.

“I love you, Rook. And if one day, you decide I’m not the one you want- I won’t stop you choosing a different path. It’s your right, but never cheat on me or go behind my back. Whether you want to get revenge or you’re... trying to comfort a friend. Please, don’t lead me on if you lust after someone else. That’s all I ask of you.”

“Joseph,” Rook said and took a seat beside him. “Look, since we’re being honest, I think there’s something we should address.”

The preacher looked up, half his face covered by his hands. He couldn’t take much more but Rook needed to get it off his chest and waiting until later wouldn’t solve anything. It would drag out their problems. 

“Do you think people have just one soulmate for their whole lives?”

It was a strange question but Rook didn’t know how to phrase it differently, let alone approach the topic in a way that wouldn’t chase Joseph away. The preacher frowned and thought for a moment.

“I think more than one is possible,” he answered slowly. “My wife was my soulmate and now you’re mine.”

Rook swallowed. That... wasn’t the answer he’d expected. Did Joseph just call him his soulmate?“So it’s entirely possible for people to have more than one person they care about? Even at the same time?”

Joseph frowned deeper. “Yes, I suppose. What are you getting at?”

“I just want to make sure of something first. Yes or no, can you love more than one person at a time? Like fully love them all without restriction?”

“Yes, yes.” Joseph waved dismissively. “Rook, make your point. You’re going in circles.”

Rook sighed and glanced up to the ceiling. Maybe God was listening and willing to make the words come out easier.

“I think I have several soulmates. You’re, uh, not the only one I love.” It wasn’t easy to say at all. He blushed and looked away from Joseph’s confusion. “I love you, despite everything, and that hasn’t changed. It’s just that I also love-”

“Boshaw.”

Rook blinked. “Yeah, I guess. He’s awesome and badass but I was going to say John.”

The shock on Joseph’s face should have been wrathful but it came out relieved. “You love my brother?”

“I don’t know, maybe not that far. I just feel drawn to him. Not like with you. He’s... nothing like you. I can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing. I’ll describe like this: you make me feel alive and loved, and John reminds me that life’s short and should be enjoyed. Risks and all. He’s danger and you’re comfort.”

“I’m boring,” Joseph stated with a raised brow. Nothing on his face said he was pleased about Rook’s description. “He’s the bad boy and I’m the housewife. Househusband.”

“Uh, that’s really not what I meant. And you’re not my husband yet-”

“ _Yet_ ,” Joseph repeated, despite the seriousness because Rook’s lack of filter between his brain and mouth was virtually none existent and it was a great source of entertainment. 

“ _Shut up_. You said it first,” Rook whined, crossing his arms petulantly. “I’m trying to be serious.”

“You’re also telling me you have a crush on my brother.”

Rook cleared his throat. “Plural.” 

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Rook snickered. “I’m really not. I didn’t mean to. Look, I’ll give you some context. Yesterday, we all got kinda drunk. _Nothing happened, chill your tits_. I woke up in bed with them both, _dressed_ , and it felt... I don’t know, right. I guess.”

Joseph sighed. He was way too tired to deal with Rook’s insatiable lust and unstoppable bullshit. He was most days but he hadn’t slept in ages and he was getting old.

“Just. Stop. Talking. For five seconds, please. I’m begging you. Let me just- So, you like both my brothers, Boshaw, and you love me too. How is that even possible?”

Rook shrugged. “I don’t even know. The world’s fucked and apparently, I’ve got a boner for crazy people.”

“You’ve got a boner for a lot of people, Rook.” The anger had long since disappeared from Joseph’s tone. He sounded borderline hysterical. “Does John know?”

“I never mentioned anything to either of them. I haven’t gotten into a brawl with Jacob yet so it’s progress but there’s no way I’m ending up in his arms any time soon.”

“Does this mean... What does this even mean for us?”

“I genuinely don’t know. I feel like if I did things with John right now, it would be weird. But I can’t ignore how I feel about them, or you.”

Joseph reached out to take Rook’s hand between his own. There was no way he could turn John away into the cold but Rook was turning out to be someone he couldn’t say no to either. Looking at him then, Joseph realised that Rook wasn’t someone who could be tied down for long. A free spirit who drifted around, attaching itself to everything and affecting people’s lives by just being there. At the end of the day, Joseph could say no and force himself to live a life of doubt and anxiety. He’d always wonder if Rook was still loyal.

“You have my blessing to indulge your desires but would it be too much to ask that I have you first? It’s been a while since we shared a bed and I miss your warmth.”

Rook couldn’t help laughing at the obvious message. “You just want to claim me first.” Joseph said nothing but his eyes told him everything. “Okay, fine, my ass is yours first but only because you’re my favourite.”

“Does that mean I get special treatment?”

Rook leaned and suddenly kissed him, swallowing Joseph’s gasp and soft moans. He threaded his fingers in his hair to keep him in place, taking what he wanted from the preacher until he left him panting. 

“What counts as special treatment?”

“John isn’t allowed to mark you. No bites or bruises. And he cannot have your mouth for anything other than kissing.”

Rook smiled against his lips. “He’s gonna be livid.”

“He should be grateful I'm even willing to share you.” Joseph brought him into a deep kiss and pulled back to pepper Rook’s jaw and neck with small kisses, teasing his skin with his teeth.

“Why don’t you stay with me then? If you’re so worried about me. You don’t have to join in but at least John will have to behave. If he doesn’t like it, tough shit.”

Joseph pulled back to search Rook’s face, lingering on his eyes. “You would let me stay?”

“Of course, I think it would make you feel better. You’d know what’s going on and you can stop it at any time. Sound good?”

“Yes. Very much so. Thank you.”

Rook kissed him softly and hugged him tight, burying his head in Joseph’s neck. “I love you, Joseph.”

“I love you too, Rook. Are we okay now?”

They weren’t, not completely. Not when Sharky was missing and Rook knew if he had proposed this option, he’d still be here. It was cheating Sharky out and letting John take his place when he didn’t deserve it, even if Rook lusted after him.

Rook felt sick.

“Yeah, yeah. We’re okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rook's boner loves you all.


	24. The Boathouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE LAST UPDATE WAS DELETED. IF YOU READ WHAT HAPPENED IN THE OTHER CHAPTER 24 "YES", PLEASE IGNORE IT AND FORGET IT EVER EXISTED!
> 
> It was brought to my attention by the amazing Rose that my last chapter wasn't right and it didn't match the story style, and reading back on it I completely agree. If anyone felt the same way, feel free to let me know and enjoy this completely different chapter. I'm very grateful to anyone who leaves feedback, even if it's negative because I never would've realised my readers didn't like the way the chapter turned out.  
> I never delete and rewrite whole sections but in this case it was necessary. I apologize to my readers for the confusion and I hope you'll carry on reading and enjoying my story.  
> The regular updates will still carry on, don't worry. Thanks a lot.  
> -Nathaniel

Joseph needed fresh air after his talk with Rook, as his mind was spinning and he was left trying to understand what he’d willingly walked into it. Sleep was probably a better idea than strolling around the footpath beneath the cliff but the sound of rare birds and murmuring chatter from his faithful calmed him more than staring at the ceiling above his bed.

He walked down to the boathouse, the afternoon sun shining through the canopy of leaves down onto the water. An old wooden canoe was pushed up onto the shore. Joseph couldn’t remember the last time it had been used, if ever since John moved in. 

Sitting down on the floor of the hollow boathouse, his boots dangling above the gentle water, Joseph took a deep breath in and out. He kept doing it, forcing himself into a meditative state, until his thoughts could unscramble themselves and he could feel himself relax. 

Rook was a mess, there was no other way of explaining it. He was greedy and lustful, a combination Joseph sought to avoid but somehow always managed to tangle himself in. But Joseph loved him, as much as he did his brothers, and he knew from experience that love was not an easy path. 

Joseph had said yes. In the moment, it felt like a relief just to stop the flood, but he was slowly beginning to regret his words. John was a man who took what he wanted, regardless of feelings and boundaries. He could scoop Rook off the ground and leave Joseph behind, alone and forgotten. Perhaps allowing Rook to get what he wanted was opening the gates to something far worse than Joseph was prepared for. What if Rook decided that Joseph just wasn’t good enough anymore? That John was clearly the better choice, with his charisma and charm and endless experience with love. 

Joseph had only felt it once; pounding in his heart and consuming his thoughts until they were merged into her image, her voice. He would have done everything for his wife. And he would do _anything_ for Rook. 

He was so lost in his own thoughts, eyes glued to the river that reflected light like diamonds were buried beneath the water, that he did not notice John’s footsteps until the wood creaked beneath him. Joseph startled and looked up, his expression of stunned fear easing down to a surprised smile.

“I saw you leave. What are you doing out here?” John asked, crouching to his brother’s level but unwilling to dirty his jeans on the dusty floor.

“I needed some peace,” Joseph answered, inclining his head to John’s so they could press foreheads together for a moment before he turned back to the water.

“It’s been a busy day. Can’t believe they want an alliance after everything. They’re so ungrateful and they’re cutting us down to these little outposts. As if we’re not restricted enough.”

“I’m not happy about it either.”

“So why agree? Joseph, we could take them on right now. You know Jacob has the manpower for it, and the guns. I say we march up to the mountains and show them who’s in charge of Hope.”

Joseph shook his head. “That is not how we make peace, John.”

“Why would you want peace with the sinners, anyways? They’ll ruin what’s left of the county. We can’t let them get the upper hand, we have to strike now.” 

Joseph held out a hand and pushed on John’s shoulder, convincing him to finally sit on the floor. He frowned at the dust and dangled his legs over the edge, kicking them idly.

“John, our world right now is only this small county. No one knows what lies beyond it, whether civilisation has returned or not, but we have to assume that we are totally alone. Don’t be afraid, John. We have prepared for this moment, we have to rebuild what is left and make sure it is better than before. That comes with helping the sinners as well.”

“They’re not worth it. It would be a waste of resources.”

Joseph reached out again and turned his brother’s face towards him, a couple knuckles hooked under his jaw. He smiled softly and watched as John tried to argue further. He could almost see the wheels in his head turning. 

“We’re better than they are,” John finally settled on.

“Yes, we are. That’s why it’s imperative that we keep this peace. I don’t want to lose more lives, I don’t want more conflict, but if we start pushing at these new boundaries that’s exactly what we’ll get. Eden’s Gate no longer has the upper hand, what you see is what we have. There are no hidden caches or secret bunkers filled with devoted followers. Our family is all that’s left, please don’t forget that. We must tread carefully from this point on.”

John pulled his head away and started picking at the loose wood, flicking what he pried away into the water. 

“It feels like a trap. Like we’re being collared.”

“It does but perhaps it’s time we took a different approach to our survival.” 

Joseph stared at his brother, even if John was unwilling to look at him, and remembered he still had to make amends for his past. He swallowed a lump forming in his throat and grabbed John’s hand where it sat limply on his knee. John tensed and looked down as Joseph linked their hands and entwined their fingers, squeezing gently. 

“John, I have something to tell you.”

Joseph looked at the water, at the lapping waves on the shore. He took a deep breath when John made a small inquisitive noise.

“I know I have not been the best brother to you, I’ve forced you to become something you’re not and I know I’m to blame for the man you’ve become.”

John chuckled awkwardly, unsure of the situation and Joseph's intent. “What on Earth are you talking about?”

“When we started this church, I had the best intentions in mind. I wanted everyone to realise their errors and stop their self-destruction, and I wanted you to guide them into God’s light. When we came here, I started encouraging your wrath. I fuelled it, I know I did, because people were stubborn and I wanted them to see the truth. What you did, the pain you caused, I never once pulled you aside and told you to stop. If anything, I made you go further by giving you Hudson.” 

Joseph stopped for a moment, to catch his breath and to calm his thumping heart as he was beginning to feel the prickle of tears. He steadied himself by squeezing John’s hand again, but he didn’t look at him. He couldn’t.

“I am sorry, John. For making you do those things and never once stopping you. That message I left you wasn’t enough. I should have gone to you in person and said those things. It might have made a difference. When I mourned you, all I could think about was how much I failed you, that I was never there when you needed me. I was too caught up trying to be the Father, I never really tried to be your brother.”

Joseph finally looked John in the eyes and saw the tears streaking down his cheeks. He was on the verge as well and John pushed him over the edge as he pulled him into a hug. Joseph wrapped his arms tightly around his brother and rested his chin above John’s head, rubbing his back and shushing him gently.

“Why are you saying these things?” John mumbled against Joseph’s shoulder, his voice cracking as he tried to quiet his sobs.

“It’s been long overdue. I’m so sorry, John.”

“I forgive you,” John said instantly, tightening his hold. “I wholly forgive you.”

Joseph leaned down to kiss his brother’s head. “I promise from now on, I will do my best to do what’s right for you. No more rash decisions without your input, no more watching from the sidelines. I will always be there for you, whenever you need me. I love you so much, John.”

John brought his head up and smiled weakly. “I love you too. Thank you.” He tackled Joseph into another hug, laughing a little as Joseph stumbled back from the force. 

\---

They were walking back to the ranch, heading up the winding dirt path back up the hill, when Joseph stopped mid-step. He’d completely and blissfully forgotten about Rook’s conversation. John paused and walked back the last few steps.

“What’s wrong?”

“Rook and I were talking before, about our relationship.”

John frowned. “You’re staying together, right?”

“Yes, yes, it’s not about that. We’ve made up, for the most part. John, he... Rook’s expressed an interest in you.” Joseph cringed inwardly at his phrasing but there was no way he’d tell John Rook was lusting after him. Certainly not using the same terms Rook had used.

John crossed his arms. “Well, that’s... uh, weird. I’m not- What did he say?”

“He’s attracted to you, and to Jacob. We were on the subject of soulmates when he’d brought it up-”

“I haven’t done anything. Joseph, you have to believe me-” Joseph held up a hand to silence his brother’s worry. John didn’t want to get kicked out like Boshaw, over a mistake. Even his brother's confession couldn't stop him from fearing the worst.

“I know that. Calm down. I’m telling you this because I agreed to his proposition.”

“His- Wait, what did you give him permission for?”

“If he wants to,” Joseph trailed off, looking uncomfortable. “Rook wants to expand his horizons, should I say. I’ve come to the realisation that he is not someone who can be tied down. He wants multiple people in his bed.”

“And that includes me.”

Joseph nodded, glancing away as his cheeks warmed. John came closer and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Thanks for being honest. I know how much you love him, it can’t be easy.”

“It isn’t. John, you have to promise me- If things develop beyond urges, I need to know. I can’t... I don’t want to lose him because he’s lying to me. I trust you to tell me.”

John agreed with a smile. “Of course. Joseph, I have to admit, he’s going to be disappointed if he’s expecting sex.”

“This has nothing to do with Eden’s Gate’s rules. It’s between us and I won’t stop you if that’s something you want.” 

“Joe, I’m not talking about our _blessed_ rules.” He tried to smile but it came out like a grimace instead. “I just don’t do that anymore. It has nothing to do with abstinence. I’m just not into it, I guess? Boshaw wanted sex too and I turned him down. Don’t get me wrong, I like Rook and I’d be happy to make him happy. Just not in that way.”

The relief on Joseph’s face was instant and obvious. His body relaxed too and he stopped looking so shy and flushed. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I’ve changed a lot since the old days back in Atlanta. I don’t think I would be comfortable doing anything like that anymore.” John uncrossed his arms and started walking again. Joseph caught up easily.

“I’ve missed a lot, haven’t I?” Joseph knew he hadn't been a good brother for years but for John to keep something like that close to his chest, it made Joseph realise just how little he'd paid attention.

“Not necessarily. No one knows but you, Boshaw, and myself. It’s not something I want to admit. It’s embarrassing. But I want you to know. Especially considering Rook. You don’t have to worry about finding me with him like that.”

Joseph looped an arm over John’s shoulders and pulled him close. “I admit it’s a relief. Still, you’ll have to explain to Rook.” 

“That’s fine. Plus, he’s young and he probably knows more about it than I do. I mean, you saw him before the reaping. He was always glued to his phone, even on duty.” 

Joseph smiled and chuckled. Rook was far more knowledgeable than he was in certain aspects, and this would be one of them. “That’s true. He’ll want to talk soon, about this. Let him know you have my blessing.”

John smiled too and wrapped his arm around Joseph’s back, hugging him as they walked. Once they were back inside, Joseph went to bed to catch a few hours of sleep before he had to prepare dinner for their guests. 

John went to seek out Rook.

\---

Rook lazed in the garden lounge chair tucked under the balcony overhang. He longed to sit in a t-shirt and shorts with the warm sun but the weather wasn’t good enough for that yet. Occasionally, he reached down to pet Boomer’s back. He glanced down at the sketchbook in his lap and went back to drawing Jacob’s form as the soldier worked to load and unload supplies from the latest bunker raid. 

He wasn’t a good artist, not by any professional standard and he’d yet to grow the patience and skill to go beyond his messy scribbles. Boomer barely opened an eye when he showed him the sketch, whining softly as he fell right back asleep.

The front door opened and John strolled out, looking in every direction as he headed to Jacob. Rook couldn’t hear what they were saying but Jacob turned and pointed right at him. John followed his line of sight and smiled, said something else and went straight to Rook. He saw the sketchbook and glanced down.

“I’m sure there are better subjects to draw than my disgruntled brother,” he joked, taking the second chair for his own. “It’s good.”

Rook snorted. “It’s shit.”

“No, it’s not. You need practice like everyone else. You captured his likeness well.”

Rook turned the page and quickly scribbled something down, out of John’s sight. After a minute, he held up a stick figure, with a few strands of hair, holding a knife and frowning with large angry eyebrows. He’d also helpfully labelled it as Jacob.

John burst out laughing and clutched his chest as he bent over himself in hysterics. He made enough noise to draw the real Jacob closer.

“What’s so funny?”

Rook only held up the drawing, giggling as Jacob crossed his arms and frowned. 

“The resemblance is striking,” John said between fits of laughter. “Truly captured your essence, wouldn’t you say, brother?”

“Uh huh. Sure. Especially the knife.” Jacob tapped his fingers over the hilt attached to his belt, and was about to walk away when Rook waved him back.

“Wait, wait, I actually did a proper one. With less eyebrows.” He turned the page and showed him the original piece, complete with scraggly messy lines and intense eyes. The hair wasn’t quite right and Rook hadn’t dare go further lower than his neck. 

“Pretty.” Jacob smirked. “You’ve got a talent after all. Here I thought you were only good for being a lil’ shit who eats all our food.”

“He’s still a little shit,” John corrected, finally taking deep breaths to calm himself. 

“Thanks,” Rook grumbled. Still, he didn’t miss the prideful look on Jacob’s face when he glanced a second time at the artwork.

“Great work, kid. Looks real good, you should keep at it.” 

Rook blushed under the praise. He placed the sketchbook on his lap again.

Jacob sighed and stretched his arms forward, his joints popping noisily. John cringed. “Well, some of us have work to do. You both just sit there, relax, and enjoy your afternoon.”

“Oh we will,” John said, making a show of getting himself comfortable. Rook laughed.

“I bet. Later, losers.” Jacob walked off and helped out a Peggie struggling with a crate, pushing it onto the truck bed with little effort.

John sat in silence for a few minutes, glancing down at Rook’s ever moving pencil. It looked like he was trying to draw the mountains to their left.

“I spoke to Joseph earlier,” John started. “He told me about your conversation, about soulmates.”

Rook paused for a moment before carrying on. “What did he say?”

“That you ‘expressed interest’, as he put it. I’m honoured, really.”

“Don’t let it get to your head. I just... I feel things for you too. I wanted to make that clear to Joseph before we tried to move on. He would still be around, keeping an eye on things.” 

John chuckled softly. “He won’t be keeping an eye on anything. Rook, you and I will never have sex. Not in the way you want it.” He reached out and touched Rook’s arm. 

“Is this about the Ace thing?” Rook looked up as he asked, noticing John’s frown. “Sharky told me you didn’t want to do anything with him, I had to explain what it was. Was I right? You don’t want sex?”

John stammered for a moment before regaining his composure. “Uh, yes, actually. I thought you might know about it but I didn’t expect Boshaw to mention it.”

“Well, yeah, I mean look at where we live. Do you think half these locals know anything about sexuality beyond straight, gay, and lesbian?”

“Probably not even that. I’m just... Since you know, I don’t suppose I have to explain myself.” Rook shook his head. “Good, because I don’t understand it myself and it’s complicated enough.”

“That’s fine, just let me know how far you want to take it. I’m up for anything.” 

John was a little starstruck, staring at Rook like all his problems and worry and personal complications just washed over Rook and never bothered him. Like he could just accept John as he was and not push for more. 

“Thanks.”

Rook shrugged. “It’s no problem.” 

He went back to sketching the mountains, leaving John satisfied with their conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so much happier with how this turned out, I hope you do as well. Let me know!
> 
> To Rose, I hope you enjoyed this chapter more :)


	25. Peaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everybody who commented on the last chapter and helped me figure out what was wrong with Yes. With your help, it's made me try harder and better. Feel free to leave more feedback, whether positive or negative in the future. Anything is welcome, it's always appreciated.

Dinner was very strange. Rook’s friends came down, mostly rested and willing to put up with the Seeds. They arrived in time to be seated and served within minutes, allowed to enjoy themselves as the brothers set plates and passed around the food Joseph had cooked. Rook had helped out and tried to calm the preacher from panicking about how many he had to feed. In the end, Joseph gave Rook the chance to pitch in and unburden him. Rook could at least chop some vegetables. Looking at the table spread, there was no sign that they were surviving the events of mass extinction. Michael had been thorough with his job of stocking the ranch. Rook was reminded of Thanksgiving and grabbing actual potatoes from the bowl in front of Staci made him joyous and definitely thankful.

Joseph sat at one end and Earl took the other, surrounded on both sides by their own people. Rook ended up between John and Joey, keeping the peace so that they could enjoy their meal without too much tension.

It was all going well until Jacob came in, freshly showered and in a simple red cable-knit jumper. Rook only realised he was there as he glanced to Staci to ask him to pass some buttery peas. Staci was frozen, staring with wide eyes behind Rook.

“Hey, Peaches,” Jacob said warmly. He stayed where he was, hovering close to the table. The only seats left were next to Staci, who was shaking and gripping the edge of the table so hard his hands were white.

“Stace?” Rook gently called, reaching out. Staci snapped back to him and cleared his throat.

“I’m good, I’m good. I... Would you excuse me for a moment?” Staci didn’t wait, he stood and threw his napkin on the chair and bolted out the back door. He didn’t really know where he was going but he needed out.

Everyone turned their heads to Jacob. Joey was glaring but Joseph was inclining his head, like he was telling Jacob to go follow Staci. Of course, Jacob listened to his advice. He rounded the table, taking the same path and heading out into the cold as well.

No one stopped him.

“Rook,” Earl said, his voice cutting through the tension enough to make Rook realise he shouldn’t leave them alone. Since no one wanted to volunteer and he did promise Staci to keep him safe, Rook got up as well.

It was dark outside, the only light coming from the kitchen windows filtering through the bars fitted over them. Staci was leaning over the fence, watching the trees swaying in the breeze under the moonlight. He couldn’t see much but it was enough of a distraction. The cold seeped through his thin shirt, making his teeth rattle as he shivered and rubbed his arms for warmth.

“You’ll catch your death out here,” Jacob called out, his boots stomping on the thick snow as he came to stand behind Staci. 

“Leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you,” Staci spat back as he stared ahead, unwilling to look at Jacob. Mostly because he was scared of what he’d do, the uncertainty clawing at his mind. He was vulnerable out here, alone and cold and so easily manipulated back into Jacob’s false sense of security.

“I’m surprised you lived but then again, it shows I trained you well. I was right, you are stro-”

Staci’s fist connected with his nose, startling Jacob and sending splatters of blood onto the snow. He stumbled back, holding a hand to his face to stop the bleeding. But he wasn’t glaring and pissed off. Staci swore he looked _proud_. It only made him want to punch him more but Jacob was prepared for the next hit, dodging away from Staci and kicking the back of his knees to throw him to the ground.

Jacob pulled his bloody hand away to show Staci what he’d done. It poured freely down his mouth and chin and when Jacob grinned, it stained his teeth. Staci scurried backwards, stumbling to his feet. He wanted to keep hitting him, over and over again until Jacob never walked it off. Instead, he felt the need to reach out and help because that’s what Jacob had programmed him to do. To take care of wounds and help those around him. Everyone back then had been a peggie, injured in some way by Rook and his friends. It became natural to help the bad guys, until it morphed into helping the ones who fed him and kept him clean. Jacob, for all of his conditioning and torture, was still the light in the dark. He’d carved out a spot for himself in Staci’s heart so that he could always have the upper hand.

Staci forced himself to stay back, to ignore all the voices telling him to help his captor. Jacob’s smile diminished slowly as he noticed the hold he had on Staci was weakening. The back door opened and shut and Rook came out, jogging over to them.

“Guys, let’s keep this civil,” he said, noting Jacob’s bloody nose and the fear in Staci’s eyes. “Let’s get back inside. Joseph went through a lot of trouble for us, the least we can do is to go sit back down and finish our meal.”

“This is between me and him, Deputy. Stay out of this,” Jacob warned, taking a couple steps over to Staci to grab his shoulder. He pulled the cop to his side, looking for all the world like a couple of friends. Except Staci had never looked so scared and Jacob had a glint in his eyes that told Rook he needed to either stay with them or keep them far apart.

“No, I won’t.” Rook joined them, chest to chest with Jacob and staring those few inches up at him with a defiance that dared Jacob to try anything. “Let go of him or I’ll push you back through this damn fence and watch you break your neck on those rocks.”

Jacob’s eyes widened and for a moment he wondered if Rook was serious. He remembered the look on the Deputy’s face when they’d wrestled in the mud and Rook had kept throwing punches until his knuckles were split open and Jacob was barely breathing. That look of Wrath that spoke of pain and endless revenge, the same look he had now when he was determined to protect his friend. One of the last few still alive.

He let Staci go and held Rook’s glare, seeing Staci immediately cower behind his friend. 

“Stay away from Staci. He’s not your toy or one of your fucking Chosen. He’s my friend and he’s under my protection. And I’m pretty certain on who Joseph will side with if I decide a broken nose isn’t enough punishment.”

Rook guided Staci back inside with a hand on his shoulder, ignoring how he shook and shivered. 

“Thanks,” Staci mumbled before Rook let him in. 

When they went back to the table, their meals were lukewarm but it didn’t stop Rook from shovelling in it his mouth. No one spoke for a moment, unsure of how to approach the subject. In the end, Joseph cleared his throat.

“Where’s Jacob?”

“Licking his wounds,” Rook replied so Staci didn’t have to. Though he noticed how he tensed at the name, even if Joseph was practically harmless and John was watching the show without a word.

Joseph hummed and nodded firmly, and then went back to his meal like nothing had happened. Everyone else sort of followed his lead. Joey grabbed Staci’s hand and rubbed his knuckles, the ones that weren’t red and sore.

\---

Whitehorse knew he’d outstayed his welcome. After dinner, he urged his two Deputies to get some sleep before they’d drive out first thing in the morning. Staci paired with Joey for the night, unwilling to be left alone, and Rook wasn’t close enough to him to dare offer a bed in the bunker where Jacob couldn’t stray. Not since he would be with Joseph and John. 

They’d start on Joseph’s plan tomorrow, send out a team with Wheaty to fix radio towers and another to locate the supplies Joseph had asked for. It was all moving so much faster and smoother than Rook expected. 

He said his goodnights to his friends- _co-workers_? Without law existing anymore, Earl wasn’t his boss. He wasn’t quite sure if he could keep calling them co-workers when they had no jobs. Friends would have to do.

Rook could tell John was nervous. The Baptist lingered around as he helped Joseph deal with the many, many dishes. When it was time for bed, Rook grabbed John’s hand to take him with them down to the bunker.

“What are you doing?” John asked, looking at their joined hands and then to Joseph who was smoothing the damp dish towel across the radiator.

“You’re not staying up here, are you?” Rook challenged with a raised brow. “Unless you want to share the ranch with my lot?” John pulled a face. “Didn’t think so. Come on.”

Joseph said nothing but there was a small smile teasing his lips as he led the way through to the bunker. At this point, they kept the closet empty and only shut the door from the inside. They passed through the maze of corridors to Joseph’s room, where John planted his feet and refused to go any further even when Rook tugged at his arm.

“Dude, come on-”

“Joseph?” John ignored Rook in favour of his brother, looking at him helplessly like he was torn between stepping into their lives like this or giving them space. Joseph paused and turned, halfway into the room. He went back to John and brought their foreheads together, his hands cupping John’s face gently.

“You may join us if you’d like but you’re not obligated to,” he whispered between them, watching John’s eyes flutter shut at the promise of being included. “You may share our bed for tonight. There’s enough space for us all.”

“Okay,” John agreed, his voice barely a whisper as well. 

Joseph pulled away after kissing his brother's forehead and headed straight for the bathroom, not waiting for Rook to catch up.

Rook grinned at John and followed his partner, shutting the door. He was fine sharing himself between the brothers but John probably didn’t want to accidentally see Joseph in the bath with Rook. But getting cleaned up was a good idea.

By the time John had showered in his own room and come back, dressed in soft, baggy clothes, Joseph was sat on the bed reading. John waited in the doorway hesitantly before entering and shutting the door. A habit he couldn’t shake off even when they were alone in the bunker. Joseph glanced at him and smiled, quickly returning to his book. John watched him for a moment before climbing on the free side of the bed.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he admitted softly. Rook was still cleaning up, the sound of bottles hitting the edge of the bath was the only noise in the room except the ventilation and the old pages of the book turning.

“Neither do I.” Joseph closed his book and put it aside. “It’s not as if I have experience with this. I'd like to make him happy, though.”

“What does he expect will happen?”

Joseph shrugged. “I have no idea but you know him, he’s got plenty on his mind.”

John played with the edge of the blanket, crumpled with use but still soft. “I warned him that I wouldn’t fuck him and he seemed fine with it.”

“Good, I’m glad. If you decide to do other things, I won’t stop you. If I may ask, what part makes you uncomfortable?”

John faltered. He hadn’t thought Joseph would care, let alone ask questions. His brother’s attention was fully on him, ready to understand or at least learn.

“I don’t know. Haven’t really thought about it. Haven’t had time to bother examining my own head.”

“Would you like some help narrowing it down?” John nodded, lost for words at his brother’s willingness to help. He shoved down any embarrassing guilt at telling Joseph such private things. “Does the idea of being inside someone make you uncomfortable?”

“Depends. It’s not like I’ve been with others recently so I can’t really say yes or no.”

“Okay, how about having someone inside you?” Joseph was beginning to sound like a councillor. He vaguely noticed Rook coming out of the bathroom.

John crinkled his nose. “No, definitely not right now. I’d hate that. I know all of this sounds stupid, that I don’t want anything to do with it anymore- but the last thing I would want is to be pinned down. I just, it makes me feel ill.”

Rook stayed silent and John missed the questioning look he sent Joseph. The Deputy joined them on the bed, sitting near the end beside Joseph’s outstretched legs.

“And if someone was to bring you pleasure?”

Rook raised a brow, very intrigued about their conversation but miraculously able to restrain himself from interrupting.

“What, like a handjob? That’s fine. I just- I don’t think I could handle a lot of anything else. I mean, kissing is great. I don’t want to stop that but anything else is just not interesting. I’m sorry but I can’t-” John stammered and stopped talking again in case he made even more of a fool of himself.

Joseph took his hands away from the sheets he was gripping tightly and held them. He forced John to look at him.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But I’m broken! I... I used to do it, you know I did. All those parties, the sex, the drugs- I can’t do it anymore, it makes me sick thinking about doing it now. It’s not like I can’t get hard, I do, but that’s it. That’s as far as I can go and I, I...”

“It’s okay, John,” Rook butted in gently, placing a hand on John’s knee as Joseph rubbed his back and pulled his brother into his side. John’s face was hidden in Joseph’s shoulder, taking shallow breaths like he was trying not to cry.

Rook crawled up the bed so he could curl up behind John, making sure the Baptist couldn’t run away from his problems. He glanced at Joseph and saw the worry in his eyes.

“Hey, we don’t have to do anything. You said you liked kissing, we can do that. Would you like that?”

John nodded weakly and Joseph kissed the top of his head. He let himself be rearranged to lie back against his brother’s chest with Rook kneeling between his thighs, but never pushing either away. It felt good to be so warm and accepted. Joseph wrapped an arm around John’s waist and reached out to grab Rook’s hair, pulling him close until Rook could press his lips against John’s.

The youngest Seed gasped and melted into Rook’s kiss, lazily moving his lips and slowly grabbing hold of Rook’s toned upper arms. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and neither was Joseph, and John felt suddenly over-dressed. Joseph had pyjama trousers on, his knees spread to accommodate John’s body, but Rook only had a pair of faded, thin boxers that left nothing to the imagination. He was getting hard from the kissing and John tried not to stare. Even if he wasn’t interested in doing anything, the male body was always a pretty sight. Especially when Rook was young and muscled and gorgeous.

“How’s this?” Rook asked, pulling away and sitting on his folded legs, looking thoroughly pleased with his new kissing buddy. “You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s nice. Thank you. Would you like some help?” John felt obligated to ask. He glanced at Rook’s erection, tenting the grey fabric. He’d caused it so he should deal with it. The unspoken rules, right?

“No, I’m good, but thanks for the offer.”

“But-” John needed to argue, had it etched into his very soul that he needed to please everyone at any cost. Rook should understand, he needed to, that John _had_ to help even if it made him into something he didn’t want to be. How could Rook love him if he said no?

“Stop. You made it clear you don’t want to, why would I ask for more?” Rook was gentler than he had any right to be. He took John’s wrists in his hands and kept them at his side, where he couldn’t touch Rook. 

“It’s...” John wasn’t sure how to keep fighting his point.

“Do you want to jerk me off, right now?” 

It was a simple question with one worded answer. John looked up at Rook, lost and hoping the man could stop trying to be nice and just take what he wanted. He turned his head to Joseph but his brother was waiting for his answer too. He couldn’t run, he couldn’t hide.

“No,” he finally said, the word clawed out of him like it physically pained him. He felt the walls he’d built up over the decades crack and crumble. “No, I don’t want to.”

Rook smiled at him, happy and proud of John for something that, now, seemed so meaningless and easy.

“Okay,” Rook said simply and then leaned in to kiss John. He dragged him out of his mind, forced John to face himself and accept his flaws rather than shame them and try to break and rebuild him into someone he wasn’t.

It was... freeing. Just as it had been to give up and say yes to the world, to let it flood him with possibilities and accept them into his soul, saying no was just as mind-breakingly relieving. He no longer had to put up with the responsibilities he’d created for himself, ones that twisted his soul and turned him into a monster he couldn’t recognise in the mirror.

He cared for Rook more than ever for unchaining him from his own mind. He kissed the Deputy deeply and tried to convey his emotions with his eagerness. Joseph chuckled behind him, his arm tightening so he could hold John back from tackling Rook down.

“Easy now,” Joseph said, amused.

John kept his enthusiasm to a tolerable level but still held Rook close, making the younger man melt in his arms and whimper. Joseph was a great kisser but John was all-consuming, claiming his lips and biting and sucking them until they were plump and full. Rook loved every second, losing himself in John’s affection so much that he almost jerked back when Joseph stroked his cheek. 

He opened his eyes to look at him, smirking to himself when he saw the state Joseph was in. Pupils blown wide, lips parted, and a lovely blush crawling up his neck and cheeks. 

"Why don't we call it a night? I think we're all getting a little too eager," Joseph said, trying to calm his heart rate. "Perhaps you and I can share a moment together tomorrow."

"Okay, fine, fine." Rook was incredibly hard but he was willing to ignore it, just to thank the Seeds for their cooperation and willingness. He crawled away from John and waited until the brothers found a side each and let him lay in the middle. 

"Good boy, Rook," Joseph cooed, kissing his partner's cheek and then his lips.

"Thanks for letting me do that, Joe," John mumbled. He was like a docile housecat, lazy and slumped against the cushions.

The three could fit comfortably on the large bed, so Rook could hypothetically stretch out but considering both men were intent on leeching heat from him, Rook had nowhere to go. He wanted to rest his head on Joseph’s chest, like he did normally, but John had other plans. He claimed Rook’s abdomen as a pillow, forcing Rook to lie on his back. Joseph shrugged and followed his brother’s example, taking a higher position on Rook’s chest. Rook had no choice but to wrap his arms around them both, smiling to himself despite the hindrance to his comfort. He held them close, loving what Joseph had allowed him to do.

Sharky was still a vital missing piece but until he came back, Rook could survive like this. He kissed Joseph’s head and then John’s, before succumbing to sleep at last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I've explained John's sexuality well enough, ask if you'd like to know more. I'm Ace too. 
> 
> Also poor Staci... His future will not be easy!


	26. Neon Buzz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the lateness, I've had a busy week!

Earl and Emma kept their promises and over the course of two weeks, they worked together. It was difficult at first, filled with tension and too many finger-on-trigger moments that nearly ended with  casualties .  It wasn’t their fault, the respective leaders weren't at each other’s throats as much as their people. They both managed, somehow.

March rolled around quickly and with it came the first sign that their barely-functioning peace was making progress.  Wheaty fixed the towers between their three main outposts; the ranch, the Wolf’s Den, and the veteran's centre. It took him ages to figure out how to distribute power to each one and the tips of his fingers were  singed from the failures. 

Rook wasn’t there when they made the first transmission but he saw the joy on Joseph’s face after his walk. 

After that, Earl fulfilled his promise and got hold of solar panels.  Wheaty never worked so hard and Rook knew sooner or later, he’d have to make a trip up to the mountains and thank him personally. Trucks passed through the town endlessly as Joseph kept his side of the bargain as well, giving the resistance  the supplies he could afford to spare.

The snow had melted into muddy slush and the weather seemed to get better, enough so that the first field close to the ranch was dug up and turned into a vegetable garden. The  peggies had ransacked the conservatory for the seeds and bulbs . A few from Emma’s group were taken  on  as makeshift farmers and none complained about the free lodgings in the houses close by. 

Jacob wasn’t seen often, only quickly visiting to check on his brothers. He stayed out of Rook’s way and never mentioned the fight with Staci, and Rook was fine with that. They needed him to keep the  peggies in shape and alive and that was it. 

Rook was sitting on the balcony of the ranch, beer in hand, and watching the sun set when the radio at his side crackled. 

“Hey, Rookie? It’s Whitehorse, over.”

He fumbled to grab it, startled when he’d been lost in his thoughts.

“Evening, Earl, what’s up?” Rook looked towards the mountains, picturing the Sheriff at his rickety desk and twirling some whiskey in one hand. He could hear chatter behind Earl so he was still at the Den.

“Got a surprise for the whole county lined up tonight. Get your ass down to Fall’s End before eight, bring Joseph and his lot. He’s  gonna want to see this.”

Rook raised a brow to the mountains, vaguely smiling to himself. “Any hints?”

“No can do. Can you make it?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“See you soon, Rookie, over and out” Earl said before clicked off and left Rook in suspense. 

He bolted down the stairs to gather his boys, forcing them into warm clothes and rallying the  peggies into the few trucks they had. A couple unlucky guys stayed behind to watch the ranch but they knew  better than to voice  their complaints. They all managed to make it to the edge of town around half seven.

As far as Rook could see, the whole remaining population had gathered along the main road ; meaning at least a good hundred and fifty people. It thrilled him to see so many had survived even if the county had drastically been reduced to almost nothing. 

There  were torchlights in every few hands, helping him see the boarded windows. Someone had gone around cleaning up the debris but the barriers still blocked half of the entrances, meaning that  vehicles were forced to park far away in the fields. 

People were still joining them as Rook walked closer  along the edge.  Joseph was at his side and although Rook wanted nothing more than to hold his gloved hand, they were in public. Neither of them had really agreed to make their relationship that public. The family knew, of course, and the peggies at the ranch as well as his friends. The rest of the county didn’t and regardless of the apocalypse, people could still hate the sight of two men holding hands. Let alone the freedom fighter and Joseph Seed. Rook wasn’t feeling up to smashing a skull in right now.

John settled at his other side and he wasn’t as afraid of the crowd’s reaction as Rook, so his hand shamelessly lingered on Rook’s lower back. 

“Wonder what’s got everybody so riled up?” Rook asked, scanning the crowd for his friends. He spotted Staci with Earl,  heading towards the bar. 

There were harsh whispers to his left suddenly, and the  peggies parted like the Red Sea as Jacob stepped through. He looked full of confidence to the untrained eye but Rook noticed he was anxious about the amount of people. Jacob kept glancing around him and his hand hovered over his pistol. He finally reached them, glancing awkwardly at Joseph as he waited for permission to join them.

Rook hadn’t seen much of an improvement between the brothers but Joseph nodded, gesturing for Jacob to stand beside John.  At least Earl had invited Jacob, which was more than anyone could expect. The Sheriff really was trying to make peace.

“The whole family’s here,” John commented, mostly to himself. He smiled at Jacob, always comfortable around his eldest brother, and more than happy to show it. Jacob relaxed a little.

“Can I have everybody’s attention?” Earl suddenly shouted through a megaphone. He was standing on the steps of the bar, elevated above the crowd. Rook winced at the loudness and so did the people closest to the Sheriff. At least the crowd fell silent.

“Thank you all for coming tonight. I know this is very short notice but this is something I wanted to share with all of you. As you all know, we’ve been working hard to make this county a home again. Joseph Seed and his people have been tirelessly helping us out and  because of  that, we’ve prepared something special.” 

Earl pulled the speaker away so he could say something to one of the guys beside him. Rook was too far to hear but the guy nodded and jogged off. Earl resumed.

“Now, can everybody turn their flashlights off? Don’t worry, it’s not for long.” 

A few were slow to cut the lights out, reluctant and untrusting of those among them, but even Joseph allowed his closest to do as Earl instructed. It was completely dark after a moment and Rook subconsciously grabbed Joseph’s hand. He never liked crowds and being surrounded by people he didn’t know or entirely trust himself, without a hint of light was not his idea of fun.

There was a rumble in the distance, at the edge of town, and then the streets were filled with golden lights. The crowd gasped and cheered as the street lamps and storefronts were lit brightly. The Spread Eagle’s  neon  sign flickered once before it started buzzing and flashing like usual.

Rook laughed, gazing at all the fairy lights that were in the windows. Joseph wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his head, uncaring of the onlookers.

“Well done,” he said gently in his ear, only for Rook. “This is all because of you.”

Rook glanced  at him, grinning widely and giggling. Joseph had the warmest, proudest smile. John hugged his side too and even Jacob reached around to ruffle his hair. It wasn’t as if Rook had gone around fixing all the wires but he had insisted people come together. In a way, Joseph was right. This was because of him. It made him dizzy to think he’d achieved something so grand when he came from nothing, had nothing to his name or any particular achievements worth bragging about until now.

“Now, this  ain’t all we’ve got in store tonight," Earl resumed with his megaphone. "We figured that for dragging your asses out your homes, we’d make it up to you. The bar’s  gonna be open for a while and we’ve got enough for everyone, so no fighting over a beer.”

The cheers were deafening.  Earl stepped down and let the nearest people in so they could distribute the cases to the crowd. Joseph urged Rook forward and Earl greeted them with open arms.

“Glad you made it, son.”

“ Hell of a surprise,” Rook said as the Sheriff patted his back in a fatherly manner. “Did  Wheaty do all this?”

“No, no, the boy’s got plenty of projects to work on. We had a couple electricians at the Den, ones that came after we opened it up. Had a few like that, coming out of their own bunkers to join us. Anyways, let’s not freeze our asses out here.  Y’all are allowed inside, so come on.” 

Earl led them into the bar and Rook’s eyes went wide. Mary was helping some kid with the crates for the crowd. Her hair was cut short, brushing her  ears , and she was a lot smaller than Rook remembered, but that didn’t stop her from pulling heavy crates around like the old days. At the sight of Rook, she grinned and dumped the beers into the kid’s arms. Her boots clacked across the floorboards as she came to him, embracing Rook tightly.

“Deputy! Damn, it’s been a long time. How are you?” He could feel her checking him over and then she noticed Joseph. “Earl told me you’d survived,” she spit, all kindness gone from her eyes as she glared at the preacher. She didn’t voice her comparison of cockroaches and  peggies but it was clear she didn’t want him in the bar any longer than possible.

“We’re all lucky we survived,” Rook blurted out before Joseph could say something about God and justice, or literally anything because that was bound to piss Mary off. “So, is the  Spread Eagle still the only decent place to get a drink? Or do I need to drive out to the 8-Bit?”

“Bite your tongue,” she said, turning her attention back to Rook. “Alright, sit your ass down, Dep. Whatever you want, it’s on the house. Not like I can take money right now, anyways.”

“I’m not drinking alone.” 

Mary knew not to get on Rook’s temper, let alone on their reunion night. She glanced at the Seeds, surrounding Rook on all sides like personal guards, and sneered but she reluctantly sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, alright.”

Rook gave her a warm look as he took a seat at the widest table, knowing his friends would join sooner or later along with whoever  else  was on the guest list. At least Earl had the common sense not to let the whole crowd come through. He heard the cheering and yelling outside, the beer already being shared around.

The brothers joined him. Jacob kept his eye on the exit, paranoid to a sharp point, but Rook was grateful for his awareness.

“So, Mary, what’s the best stuff you’ve got? I  _ know  _ you didn’t give it out to them.” Rook inclined his head in the direction of the crowd and Mary hummed.

“You guessed right. Here, finest whiskey I got. Kept it locked in the safe upstairs but Earl said you were coming.” She placed the large bottle down with four glasses, the dark liquid sloshing around.

John eyed it like a wolf but restrained himself, allowing Rook to crack the seal first and start pouring. He wanted to begin with Joseph but the preacher put his hand over the glass.

“Not for me.”

“ Oh come on, live a little,” Rook insisted. He knew the cult had a no drinking policy but the cult was technically disbanded and finished. 

“Fine but just one glass. I am driving you all home.” Joseph moved his hand and made an undignified noise as Rook filled the glass almost to the rim. They weren’t  shot glasses either but large tumblers instead. 

John never argued as Rook poured and even Jacob allowed himself some, willing to unwind for the sake of being social with his family. They clinked glasses, careful not to spill much.

Most of the night passed quickly.  After the whiskey was downed, they moved on to beer so they could at least enjoy the buzz without destroying their livers. Rook realised quickly that he couldn’t keep up with John, who slammed down glass after glass with a mocking grin and plenty of sarcastic comments. What surprised him was that Jacob  _ really  _ couldn’t hold his liquor. For all his confidence and intense masculinity that made Rook feel ridiculously small compared to him, Jacob was a lightweight. He’d started slurring his words shortly after the first whiskey glass. Joseph observed his brothers in case there was anything leverage-worthy in their stupid, drunken states. 

Just a little after Jacob started to sound like he’d been hit in the head one too many times, the cops arrived. Staci was nervous but came over when Rook waved at him. He took a glance at Jacob, who was intent on balancing his glass on the tips of his fingers. It wasn’t going well, mostly because John kept smacking his arm.

“Don’t worry,” Rook said to Staci, “He’s totally harmless.  Wanna drink with us?”

“You sure?” Pratt was watching the Seeds with a frown. Only Joseph nodded something close to a greeting. 

“Yeah, come on.” 

Staci pulled up a chair and started drinking. Joey finally came to investigate, arms crossed and glaring so hard at John it was a miracle he didn’t suddenly combust. John looked up to her and grinned.

“Deputy Hudson!”

She ignored him and pulled on Staci’s shoulder. “Don’t sit with them.”

“Rook’s my friend,”  Staci replied, slamming his beer down a little too hard. It made Jacob notice him at last, though all he did was stare and blink harmlessly. “I’ll sit with my friend. Just... stop fighting, for one night. Come on, Joey, just sit and drink.”

Maybe it was Pratt’s big, brown eyes staring up or her protectiveness of him, but she sighed deeply like she had no choice and joined them. In her eyes, she was making sure he was safe near the Seeds. A few more people filtered into the bar with Whitehorse’s blessing . Rook guessed they were to thank for the lights. He held his bottle to them in salute and they replied in kind. 

Rook kept drinking. With Joseph self-appointed as their designated driver, he was free to let loose and enjoy the buzzed atmosphere. He remembered John asking Joey if she played darts, something followed with lots of swearing, but then she stood and  led him to the board on the wall. He doesn’t know w ho won but soon enough, Jacob had been dragged into it and Staci was bullied into joining Joey’s team.

He sat with Joseph and watched, holding his hand under the table and bringing his own up the preacher’s thigh. Not that he’d dare try anything in public but still, he liked the way Joseph’s breath hitched and his eyes narrowed.

The cold air sobered him up. Not by much, he still tipped dangerously from side to side as he walked and needed Joseph’s arm to stay balanced. He noticed Jacob toppling into the doorframe and John laughing about it, but his eyes became fixed on someone else.

“Grace?” 

The sniper was talking to some locals apprehensively, keeping distance between her and them like she was unsure. At the sound of her name, she turned and looked at Rook. A few seconds later, she was smothered by his arms.

“Dep! What- How?” She clutched his shirt in her gloved hands tightly, unwilling to let go. Trying not to cry in front of everyone, she pulled back and observed his face. “Damn, you’re wasted.”

“I’m not,” he argued badly as he barely made the noises into actual words.  So what if he was seeing double and unable to think straight? “’S my right, Grace. You want some? I don’t know how much is left but I think Mary’s got... something. I think.”

“I’m fine, thanks. Where have you been?” She watched the Seeds out of the corner of her eye as John  coerced J acob into walking away to the mess of cars.

“With Joe.” Rook pointed at Joseph and waved with a grin. The preacher waved back and Grace was surprised at the look they shared.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly, wanting to take Rook somewhere private so they could catch up and frustrated at being unable to do so.

He laughed and nodded vigorously. “Uh huh, I’m great. Joe’s.... He’s great too. Did you know he’s my boyfriend? For like four months, right, babe?” 

Grace would never forget the downright horror on Joseph’s face. She wasn’t able to laugh, not when it involved the Seeds, but she was close. Rook was grinning proudly.

“Alright, well, good to know.”

“So, where have you been? I went searching for people. Never saw you, though.”

Grace smiled sadly. “We had to hide in the mountains for a while, found a mineshaft we could live in.”

“We?”

“Jess and I.”

Rook’s smile got impossibly brighter. “Jess is alive? Holy shit! Is there anyone else?”

“I don’t know. Sorry.”

“Where is she?”

Grace gestured to the edge of town, vague as Hell, but Rook still started walking in that direction. Grace barely grabbed his arm in time to keep him rooted.

“Hey, just calm down. You can see her but maybe sober, you know? Don’t think she’d want you stumbling around drunk  ‘cause you won’t remember a thing. Look, I’ll bring her to you. Where are you staying?”

“The ranch,” Rook replied miserably. He wanted to go now. She was his friend, he needed to, but Grace’s grip was stronger and she was right. He was too drunk to even put up a fight, too dopy and loose-limbed.

Grace frowned but it made sense whether she liked it or not. She turned to Joseph, who’d been watching with amusement. “Never thought I’d have to ask a Seed for permission, but can I visit tomorrow? He’s not  gonna remember shit after tonight.”

“Yes, of course. You’re always welcome. A friend of Rook’s is a friend of mine,” Joseph replied calmly with a nice smile that creeped Grace out. She’d never understand what Rook saw in the cultist. 

“Yeah, let’s not go  that far.” She looked back at Rook. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Hang in there, I’m pretty sure you’re  gonna have an awful hangover.” She pulled him into another hug and Rook latched onto her.

“I missed you so much,” he confessed in her ear, the long strands of her hair tickling his cheek.

“I miss you, too, Rook.”

She let go, taking a couple steps back so Rook could get the hint and let his arms drop at his side. Drunken Rook was clingy and affectionate, she knew. He wouldn’t stop at just one hug. She nodded at Joseph and walked away, disappearing into the edges of the crowd and beyond the borders of the town.

“Come on, let’s get you  home,” Joseph said, taking Rook’s attention away from the last spot he’d seen Grace.


	27. The Pilot's Family

It was a task getting back, with Rook desperate to cuddle from the passenger seat and  Joseph’ s brothers laughing and being stupid behind him. The few guards at home gave them looks, ones best kept private and out of sight of the Heralds, but Joseph paid them no attention.  John was sober enough to handle Jacob, half-carrying him up the stairs as they both planned to collapse in bed and never move again. Rook let himself be carried bridal-style, although Joseph very much wanted to toss him over his shoulder. Rook didn’t notice they were going up instead of down and that the bed Joseph laid him on was smaller than the one in the bunker.

Once everyone was dealt with, Joseph made sure to bring them all water, aspirin and anything else to might help them survive the next morning. He found his brothers passed out on Jacob’s messy bed, limbs tangled like they’d fought playfully and fallen asleep seconds later. He smiled and kissed their heads, whispering goodnight even if they couldn’t hear it. When he came back to his room, Rook was sleeping and snoring gently.

Joseph sat on the edge of the bed, contemplating what had happened so quickly within a month. It was insane, the pace they worked at, but Rook took it in stride and always came out the victor. His friends were alive, coming out of the woodwork after months of hiding.

He was tired, exhausted really, but Joseph couldn’t sleep. He watched the vaguely human-shaped lump move up and down with steady breaths under the blanket but he found himself unable to join. He was still dressed so it was an easier decision to go downstairs.

There was something he had to check.

The guards were confused as to why the Father was leaving so soon again, especially when the dawn was a couple hours  away. He waved off their concern and got into a car, less noisy and more discreet. He drove the long way, avoiding the  town that was still lit up brightly. It was stunning to see from the top of the hills, like a drop of gold in the pitch darkness. Joseph was so proud.

The roads were imprinted in his mind and finding the little dirt road with his headlights, even in the fog, was easy. He parked close to the end of the path,  got out and grabbed the bag he’d filled.

The bunker was quiet as he stepped inside, old boots echoing on the steps and in the hallways. He didn’t turn the lights on, there was no need. He knew where everything was. 

It felt beyond strange to be here again, to feel the roughness of the concrete walls and hear the chugging of the ventilation. As he passed the living room, he heard the bubbles from the tank. It confirmed his suspicions. 

Joseph kept going, glancing in the rooms he walked past until he reached the last one on the left. That one room that held so much meaning, so many memories for Rook and Joseph alike. The starvation, the sickness, that hopeless feeling they’d both felt but Rook had experienced it worse than he did. Rook wasn’t good at keeping his feelings trapped and bottled up. No, he couldn’t cope like Joseph had learned to do, and that was fine. Joseph needed that coping mechanism of shutting down everything except the back-up power in his head so he could get the basic tasks done. Yes, that room held a lot of memories, good and bad.

Joseph opened the door and his throat was met with the sharp tip of a knife. He held his hands up in defence, unarmed and passive. 

“Nick? What’s going on?” A woman called from further in the room. The light was switched on and Joseph was forced to look at Nick Rye in the eyes, all wrath and fear.

Joseph held still but his mind was going a thousand miles per hour. He’d known someone had gone into the bunker, a man precisely, but Nick wasn’t the one he’d had in mind at all. Joseph barely had time to notice Kim on the bed and a cot beside her, the baby gurgling gently as she reached out to cradle it, before Nick pushed him back and knocked him out with a hit to the temple.

\---

Joseph woke to pain. His head throbbed where he’d been struck and there was dried, sticky blood down his eye.  It clumped in his lashes. His hands were tied to pipes in the hallway with rough rope and he was slumped against the wall. Freezing cold water was suddenly thrown over his head and he barely held back a shocked scream. He shivered violently as the water soaked through his shirt.

Nick stood above him, throwing the bucket aside and crossing his arms. 

“How did you find us?” He asked tensely. Kim was nowhere in sight.

Joseph tilted his head back, teeth clacking as he fought the cold. He glared at Nick but all it did was cause the pilot to kneel down and grab his jaw painfully.

“I won’t ask again. Tell me or I’ll kill you.”

Joseph laughed. It came out as much of a surprise to him as it did Nick. “Oh please, Mr Rye. If you wanted me dead, you would’ve done it already. I didn’t come here  looking for you.”

“Sure, so you want me to believe you just wandered in here by accident?”

“I didn’t say that. I admit, I came here with a purpose. Finding you was an accident.” 

Nick frowned and dropped his hand. Joseph had never seen him without his hat or sunglasses, it was strange to look at him now. Nick probably thought the same about his own lack of glasses and his hair down. 

“Who were you looking for?”

“ Finally an intelligent question.” Joseph was unable to hold back his sarcasm. He never quite liked the pilot, too stuck in his ways and unwilling to let the cult help him. “ Boshaw . I suspected he was here but I was wrong.”

“ Sharky ? The fuck  do you want with him?”

“That’s none of your concern, Mr Rye. I didn’t come here for trouble. Just let me go and I’ll be on my way.” 

“No. No, I don’t think so. I saw the  peggie trucks on the roads. You think I’m  gonna let you walk  outta here and tell your cult about us?”

Joseph sighed. He should’ve stayed home. That’s what he got for trying to please Rook. 

“ Yes because that way I can tell Deputy Rook you’re alive. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to know.”

Nick stumbled back like he’d been burned. He searched Joseph’s face for lies, proof that Joseph was trying to manipulate him, but he came up empty-handed. 

“Rook’s alive? Where is he?”

“Where he belongs, with my family. He’s perfectly fine and if you want to see him, let me go.”

Nick shook his head, glancing to the side as he thought. “No, you’re going to take me to him. That’s the only way this goes down.”

“Alright, deal. My car’s just outside.”

When Nick finally untied Joseph’s wrists, Kim was pointing a gun at him. Not one that he’d hidden but their own. It pleased him to know that despite the  intruders , this bunker was still his. Balancing a child and a weapon was quite a task but Kim was more than capable. She watched them worriedly, gun aimed straight at Joseph’s chest as he stood.

“If this is a lie, if Rook’s dead and you’re tricking us- You can join your brothers in Hell,” she said, taking a step back to let him pass.

Joseph held his tongue, letting the comment pass before he could lose what little grip he had on the situation. He glanced at the baby. A little girl, tiny in her mother’s arms, but watching everything with wide eyes.

“She’s beautiful,” the preacher said sincerely with a soft smile directed at the baby. Kim pulled her closer protectively. “What’s her name?”

“Carmina.”

“Lovely choice. Shall we?” He glanced to Nick, who looked ready to tear Joseph’s throat out for even looking at their baby. 

“I’m going with you. Kim, stay here where it’s safe.”

“What? No!” Kim stood in the way, blocking the corridor with her tiny but fierce body. Joseph wasn’t threatened but it seemed to rein Nick in place. “I’m going too. You can’t stop me. If Rook’s alive, I want to see him with my own eyes. And if he’s lying, you’ll need backup.” 

“Alright, fine.”

Kim moved out of the way and let Joseph lead them out of the bunker. He was so confident where things were that Nick asked how he knew.

“This was my home before you came here,” he answered simply. “You can thank me for the supplies and the electricity.”

“Why were you here?” 

“It was the safest place to be. The Deputy was with me.”

They reached the car and Nick took the passenger seat, looking every bit uncomfortable with Joseph driving. Anything to do with the cultist made him feel that way, like something was unspoken but lingered in the air. He watched the roads, committing to memory where Joseph was taking them.

“How many survived?” Kim asked when the silence was unbearable. Joseph glanced at her through the rear-view.

“Close to a hundred so far but growing.”

Joseph drove through the town. The celebrations were over and the lights turned off one by one. There was enough left to make the couple fall silent and gaze out the windows.

“You’ve missed a lot,” Joseph said simply.

They reached the ranch and the tension only got worse. Nick’s eyes were scanning everything, preparing and plotting defences in his mind in case the guards fired their guns. Joseph got out first, waving at the  peggies , and the couple slowly climbed out.  Kim shivered in the cold, not dressed for a chilly March morning. Joseph felt a little satisfaction considering his drenched shirt that was frozen  against his skin. The dawn was coming up. 

“Follow me.”

Joseph went inside without problem but a  peggie grabbed Kim’s shoulder, gesturing at her gun. She gave it up with a glare and wrapped both arms around Carmina.

The fire was dying, casting long shadows across the walls and floors of the hall. Nick  watched  the exits and kept close to his wife, an arm hovering around her back but not quite touching. 

“Make yourself comfortable. I need to wake him. Try not to wander for your own safety.”

Kim took a seat on the couch, facing the fireplace. Nick chose to stand. Joseph sighed to himself, fed up with the locals, and went upstairs to attempt Rook’s awakening. Considering the  state he was in earlier, it would be a task.

\---

Rook sprinted down the stairs, missing the last step and almost colliding with the wall. He grinned from ear to ear, running up to the stunned couple and pulling them in his arms. His brain was still a little tipsy but he’d slept off most of the dizziness. 

“Kim! Nick! Holy crap, it’s so good to see you! Are you okay? Where have you been? Oh my God, is that-” Rook stopped babbling as he noticed the baby bundled in blankets on the couch. The couple let him go and he sank to his knees gently before her. “Hey, sweetie, I missed you too. Yeah, hi... hi, there.”

The baby gurgled happily and her tiny hands reached out sleepily to grab his fingers. She tried to hold on but couldn’t quite get there yet. Rook looked back at Kim.

“How are you guys doing?”

“We’ve been better. Carmina’s doing okay but we’ve struggled for food for her. It’s tough out there. And you? Joseph said you were on their side...”

Rook frowned. “It’s not like that. There aren’t any sides anymore, not like before. We’re all working together.” 

He stood and let Nick pull him into a hug, holding the pilot close. Kim lingered at his side, hands on both her boys with a warm smile. She looked exhausted, face gaunt and dark circles under her eyes. Nick was scruffier than usual, hair curling in long, greasy strands and his beard grown unkempt. He looked just as tired.

“We saw the town,” Nick said, pulling back but keeping his hand on Rook’s shoulder. “That because of you?”

Rook smiled and ducked his head. “Sort of. Can’t take all the credit but we’ve allied the  peggies and resistance.”

“How many of us survived?”

“A lot. My cop buddies, a lot of the Whitetails, the locals. I saw Grace in town tonight and apparently Jess is alive too.  Sharky as well.”

Nick suddenly frowned. “Joseph was looking for him. That’s why he found us at the bunker.”

“What? Did he say why?” Rook’s eyes widened and he glanced at the stairs. Joseph wasn’t there but still... His mind was reeling. What could Joseph want with  Sharky ?

“No, sorry.”

“That’s fine, I’ll ask him myself. Anyways, uh, the Seeds- John and Jacob are alive too.”

Nick pulled away suddenly and Kim went to him, looking back at Rook like he’d betrayed them. “Those monsters are still alive? You said they were dead!” Nick was yelling before he remembered his daughter and quietened down for her sake.

“Nick, I get that you’re angry but it’s not what you think-”

“Not what I think? Are you kidding me? Rook, we celebrated their deaths. Everybody did. You said they were  _ dead  _ and now they’re not. They’re monsters, Rook, what the hell are you thinking working with them?”

Rook crossed his arms, pissed that Nick couldn’t see the good he’d done for the county. “I’m making this world a better place! We need to work together or we’ll all die.”

Kim averted her eyes to the floor. “You sound like the Father.”

“So what? He was right! The world did blow up and we have almost nothing left. There’s just us now and we can’t waste our time killing each other because of hate.”

Nick scoffed and stepped up to Rook, unzipping his jacket and pulling up his shirt. Rook knew what he wanted him to see. Right there on his chest, a large rectangular piece of skin missing.  It had healed but the scars were gruesome and consuming the flesh in an attempt to fix itself. Rook glanced up to Nick’s fuming face.

“I have  _ every  _ right to hate them and you won’t change my mind. You remember when John gave me this?” Rook nodded slowly. He hated that day so much. “Do you know what he said to me before carving me up? He said he’d kill me and Kim, and raise our daughter himself. She’d be the new Faith, after the Collapse. She’d be the pride of the cult and John would be her father, the only parent she’d ever know.”

Rook swallowed down the bile in his throat. He’d been too far to hear it but he’d seen the way Nick had given up all hope and gone limp in John’s arms. He’d always wondered but now that he knew, he wasn’t sure what to think. He glanced at Carmina, asleep and a blessing on the world. 

“I didn’t know,” he said instead of the turmoil that threatened to escape. Nick righted himself and zipped his jacket up again. Kim’s eyes were wet but she refused to cry. “Look, if you need shelter and food, go to the Wolf’s Den. They’re assigning people to outposts right now but they’ve got enough for three people. It’s the least I can do.”

“It’s a hell of a walk. Got a car we can borrow?” Kim asked since Nick was too distraught to speak. He went to his daughter and picked her up, cradling her head gently.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Will you stay for a few hours? Like I said, Grace and Jess are alive and they should be coming here soon.” 

Kim glanced at her husband and held Rook’s hand, shaking her head. “I don’t think we should stay any longer. Thank you, Rook. The sooner we get to the Den, the quicker we can find a home.”

“Why not your house? It’s still intact. I checked.” He did, on a walk with Boomer one day, out of  curiosity . There wasn’t much there, no food or supplies, but it was still standing. 

“Maybe.” Her words held no promise. 

Nick looked ready to leave, holding Carmina and watching the door like he expected John to burst in and take his daughter. He held her close to his chest, where it didn’t hurt to have pressure. 

“ I’ ll see you soon,” Rook said as he opened the door for them and took them to a small car that wouldn’t be missed. 

“Yeah, see you, Rook. I’m glad you’re okay. Just... be careful, please. You can’t trust them,” Kim said as she hugged him tight and climbed into the driver’s seat.

Nick gave him a one-arm hug, letting Rook wave goodbye to Carmina. “Take care, Dep. I hope you know what you’re doing.” Rook nodded like he did. “Oh, and listen, about  Boshaw . He came through the bunker about a month ago, didn’t say much but he took some stuff. Said he might come back if he needed a place to crash.”

Rook’s heart skipped a beat. “Did he say where he was going?”

Nick shook his head. “He mentioned  Hurk Jr but that’s about it. No general direction or anything. He looked  kinda messed up, Dep. I don’t know what’s happened but the guy was not doing okay.”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’m sure it is. Why’d I get the feeling that it has to do with the Seeds?”

Rook averted his eyes, admitting it without saying a word. Nick huffed but it sounded tired rather than angry.

“Right. Well, I’ll see you around, Dep.” Nick climbed into the car and a moment later, they were driving off down the dirt road.

Rook stood there, freezing in the breeze, but he felt optimistic.  Sharky could come back to the bunker, which meant Rook would see him again. He needed to find a way to communicate. Either way he needed to pay a visit to the bunker.


	28. R

Unsure of whether he was allowed  back  in Joseph’s room, Rook decided it was best to sleep the last few early hours on the couch. The embers of the fire kept him warm along with the thick, woollen blanket he’d wrapped himself in.  Before he realised it, he was waking up again to the sound of footsteps coming down the  creaking  stairs. He cracked one eye open to see Joseph, not yet dressed for the day but craving that first cup of coffee. The preacher was only wearing black pyjama trousers, the kind that left nothing to the imagination, and a thin , light-grey  t-shirt that rode up as Joseph raised his arms to tie his hair in a messy, half-assed bun. He was clearly still sleepy, yawning and rubbing his eyes as he made his way across the hall on bare feet towards the kitchen. He paused to glance at Rook and ma d e a soft sound, like he was laughing gently and smiling at the same time. Breathless and tempting Rook to give up his ruse and just tell him he was awake.

Yet Rook couldn’t do that. He held himself back, pretended to sleep as Joseph moved on and the hallway door opened and closed.

Joseph was searching for  Sharky . It could mean many things but Rook only saw it in two parts; the positive and the negative. Joseph was either tracking him down to bring him back, or to finish the job. Rook hadn’t mentioned his friend in a while, couldn’t do it without ruining the conversation and sending him in a foul mood for the rest of the day.  So he kept quiet. This was entirely Joseph’s idea, not his, which only made Rook more curious.

A knock at the front door broke Rook out of his thoughts and he jumped up, tangling his legs in the blanket in the process, and managed to open it. Grace stood there, a thick green parka zipped up to her chin and the fluffy hood pulled over her head. Jess was behind her, eyes wide, and dressed in dark, military-like clothes that padded her up. They both were stripped of weapons and Rook could see one of the guards placing down  Jess’ bow out of her reach.

“Hey,  Dep , didn’t think you’d be up so early,” Grace said, stepping inside as Rook moved to let the women in. “How’s the hangover?”

“Not the worse I’ve had,” Rook admitted, the left side of his head  was  hurting but not throbbing like it usually did. “Hey, Jess, been a while.”

Jess rarely smiled but she gifted him with one, tiny little smile. Innocent, almost. Rook knew she wasn’t a hugger so he settled for rubbing her shoulder as she passed him.

“I thought Grace was pulling my leg last night, telling me the great Deputy  Rook  was still alive. Shit, you just don’t die. Good on you, man. Keep it up, we sure could use it.”

Rook chuckled, closing the door after them. “Thanks, I think. Oh, uh, just make yourselves comfortable. Anyone  want coffee?”

The two looked at him like he’d gone insane. Grace finally asked, “You have coffee?”

“Uh, yeah. Got nearly everything. The cult’s been stocking supplies for ages and we’ve started planting crops in the fields and back garden.”

Grace stepped up to him, stern-faced. Rook wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong but Grace’s hands fell on his shoulders. “Rook, babe, I’m going to need a  _ lot  _ of coffee. I’ve been deprived for months.” 

“O-okay. Yeah. I’ll, uh, go make some. Just give me five minutes.” Grace let go, smirking to Jess as Rook bolted in the direction of the kitchen.

\---

“Good morning, angel,” Joseph said gently over his mug. He stood to embrace Rook, kissing the top of his head. He hadn’t brushed his teeth yet so he wasn’t about to kiss his mouth, not with the taste of coffee lingering. 

Rook instantly melted into his arms before remembering the caffeine-craving sniper. “Morning, honey , ”  h e purred as he pulled away, kissing Joseph’s cheek and going to the coffee pot. He was still very curious but that didn’t stop him from craving the preacher’s touch.

Joseph blushed at the endearment. “Are your friends here? I heard voices.” 

“Yeah, just arrived. We’re staying in the hall if that’s okay. Don’t want to disturb you.”

“I was just finishing up. Offer them something to eat. I have to take a shower and prepare my next sermon. It’s been a while and Michael  was asking again.”

Rook had to remember who  Michael was. He didn’t speak to any of the  peggies unless he really needed something. 

“No more giant pyres please. I don’t think we can spare the fuel or wood.” 

Joseph chuckled, moving to the counter where Rook was pouring. He placed his hands on his lover’s hips and teased his warm skin under the  red  flannel shirt he’d borrowed from Jacob some while ago and never given back. Rook gasped and let him explore.

“We are surrounded by trees. I’m sure we can spare a few logs but fine, no more pyres. I was planning on a morning sermon anyways.”

“Sounds better, less... you know, cult-like.” Rook put the French press down to avoid spilling anything. Joseph was very,  _ very  _ distracting. He teased beneath his waistband.

“Do you remember what you said last night to your friend? On the steps of the bar?”

“No ? I know she was there for a bit but I don’t know what I said.”

Joseph’s hands drifted in two directions. One palmed at his cock through his jeans and the other rubbed a sensitive nipple, pinching and pulling it, as Joseph plastered himself against his back. Rook groaned, hardening despite the lack of time he had available. Grace expected him back any moment.

“You called me your boyfriend.”

Rook flushed dark red, his cheeks suddenly very warm. “I did?”

“Yes, in public where anyone could hear. In fact, you were very proud to state it.”

“ I’ m sorry-”

Joseph’s hand on his cock started moving up and down his length, rhythmic but too loose to provide enough friction. Rook wanted to  rut against the edge of the counter. 

“Don’t be. I’ve never been a boyfriend before, certainly not belonging to another man.”

Rook frowned. “But you had a wife.” 

Joseph  kissed Rook’s shoulder. “I was a husband. We were young and foolish, and married for the sake of our child. There was no romance before the marriage. Never like this.”

“You belong to me,” Rook repeated, dizzy with the idea.  Of course they both knew this but they’d never said it aloud. 

“You own me. Body and soul. I’m yours.”

Rook  turned in his arms and  tilted his head to kiss Joseph, all care about morning breath and coffee thrown aside. He needed Joseph to consume him.

“And I belong to you. Every part of me,” Rook said, lips moving along Joseph’s as he spoke. “I love you. I love you so much.”

Joseph smiled, eyes half-shut and blissed. He looked adorable and Rook needed to kiss him again. “I love you too, my angel.”

They were losing themselves in the soft touches, and Rook felt himself getting closer to his climax. The preacher’s hand was barely moving due to being very distracted by Rook’s mouth, but Rook grinded into it to chase the pleasure.

Only, they weren’t alone in the house and Grace had gotten bored of waiting.

“Hey, Rook, did you forget about us or-  _ Holy shit! _ Okay, never mind. I’ll wait. It’s fine. Fucking hell...” Grace slammed the door shut, the sight of Joseph bending  over Rook  scarred into her retinas.

Joseph pulled away, grumbling under his breath. He glanced at Rook as he straightened himself, erection tenting in his jeans painfully. He stroked him one last time.

“I suggest you find a way of taking care of this before joining your friends..” Joseph winked and left the kitchen, teasing him with a sharp smile.

Rook groaned and smacked his head on the counter, crushing the base of his cock to make it soft again. He was still so horny but there was nothing he could do, so he  finished pouring the coffee and brought it out to his giggling friends.

\---

The Lamb of God’s church. Rook should’ve known to check there. If Grace was attached to one place on Earth, it was where her father was buried. 

She’d taken refuge in the church once it seemed like the world was habitable again, and Jess had stayed by her side. In more ways than one. Rook noticed they held hands and sat too close to appear platonic. When Rook asked, Grace smiled and held Jess closer and stroked the back of her hand. Jess was shyer but her eyes lit up happily when Grace called them girlfriends.

It moved the topic to Rook and Joseph. He told them how they’d been stuck together in the bunker and slowly became friends, to the point where they tried going further. The smile on his face refused to budge as he spoke, and neither ladies complained or voiced anger towards his choice.

“As long as you’re happy and safe, that’s all that matters,” Jess said wisely, curled on the sofa with Grace’s arm around her shoulders.

Rook went on to mention John and Jacob but since there was no deep hatred for either men, unlike Nick or Joey or Staci, Grace wasn’t as pissed as he’d imagined. She was disappointed to see them alive after everything, as was Jess who flinched at the mention of Jacob, but they didn’t blame him. After all, when the county had struggled so hard against the cult, Rook had been one of the few who stood up and really fought back. He destroyed the cult to the best of his abilities, though the bunkers were still a tough subject to him, and no one could say he’d done nothing. He couldn’t have known  Sharky was watching his fight with John, couldn’t have predicted Jacob  would crawl to safety. He’d done his best and that was enough for Grace.

As he made them lunch, all of them in the kitchen, the brothers came down. Jacob made a beeline for the coffee, barely grunting a hello at Rook. He’d showered and his hair was still damp, hanging in thick strands over one eye which he kept pushing back uselessly.

“Afternoon,” Rook called cheerfully and loudly. Jacob winced and glared at him.

“How are you so chipper?” He asked, whisper-soft as he clutched his mug. “You drank so much.”

“Don’t know but this is incredibly satisfying. Oh, meet Grace Armstrong and Jess Black.” Rook gestured to the women with a smile. Grace waved and hid her snort behind her other hand as Jacob turned and lazily raised his arm in their direction.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but you look like shit,” she said. Jess nodded in agreement.

“Oh, he always looks like that,” John butted in, shouldering his brother aside so he could get his own mug filled. He looked over the pans Rook was using and batted his lashes sweetly.

“Fine, you can have some,” Rook grumbled as he was unable to say no to John’s big blue eyes and charming smile. He looked energised, dressed sharply as always with his hair left free of product. It was long enough to tuck behind his ear. 

“ _ Thank you _ . Good afternoon, ladies, it’s always wonderful to meet Rook’s friends.” John sat down, in Rook’s seat, and held out his hand. Only Grace shook it but after an awkward pause. “Will you be staying with us for long?”

“Just saying hello. We’ll be off by tonight. We wouldn’t want to be a burden and take up your resources.”

“Nonsense, please, stay as long as you like. It would be an absolute pleasure to have such lovely ladies like yourselves with us. We have more than enough-” 

Rook clapped his hand on John’s shoulder, startling the Baptist. He leaned down close to his ear. “You’re in my chair, John, so stop flirting and move your ass.”

John laughed awkwardly and scooted over to the next one, embarrassed to have been cut short when he was just trying to be polite. Maybe a little too polite but it usually worked. Grace raised a  doubtful  brow and Jess  was stunned to see the youngest Seed shut down so quickly. 

Rook passed the filled plates around, serving everybody before he sat down. Jacob slumped into the chair beside John, resting his head on his crossed arms. He was dead tired and his head was pounding, moving only made it worse.

“Here,” John said, pushing a plate against Jacob’s elbow. “Eat.  It will help, trust me.”

Jacob grunted and lifted his head, accepting the greasy sausages and vegetables that weren’t burnt. He poked at his food for a moment before starting to eat slowly. John rubbed his back lovingly in empathy. Many  mornings , or afternoons, he’d woken up in this state. 

The c onversation was quiet but not empty. Grace had many things to share, like how they’d seen the lights in the distance and been drawn like moths to it. She was surprised to see so many people, let alone without masks or protection. When Rook assured her of the low radiation, or lack of, she relaxed instantly.

“We were waiting to get sick,” she explained before the relief truly took hold and she bumped elbows with Jess. 

Jacob said nothing but he felt Rook’s eyes on him. 

“I saw Nick and Kim last night too. They were taking the baby up to the Wolf’s Den to find a better home.”

“Seems like everybody’s coming out of hiding, huh?” Jess said thoughtfully, letting Rook take her plate as he cleaned up the table. John gave him a hand, probably to make a good impression. 

“The more the merrier. We’ve got even  numbers  between the resistance and the cult. So far, we’re still missing a few of our friends. Adelaide, Jerome,  Hurk Jr-  Sharky and I went looking for him a while back. He’d gone through his house to pick some things up but we never found him.”

“Where’s  Sharky now? I miss the guy,” Grace said, noticing how the siblings averted their eyes and Rook paused before joining the table again.

“He left to go find  Hurk .”

Grace didn’t believe him. She could see the hesitation and sadness in Rook’s eyes to know that was a lie, or at least part of the truth. John cleared his throat.

“I have things to attend to. Would  you please excuse me?” He stood and tucked his chair under the table. “It was lovely meeting you both.” 

“Yeah, you too,” Grace replied out of politeness rather than honesty and watch ed John retreat quickly. She cast a glance to Rook, only to find him with his head down.

Jacob noticed he wasn’t welcome anymore so he stood as well. “I’ll take your dog out, Rook. Get some fresh air.” 

He didn’t wait for Rook’s response, going straight to the garden where Boomer was lazing in the Spring sun and watching the  peggies care for the vegetables. Left alone with Grace and jess, Rook looked up.

“Joseph, Sharks, and I had a big fight,” he admitted quietly. “It’s complicated but I kissed  Sharky and told Joseph, so he kicked him out. It happened about a month ago. Haven’t seen him since. Nick said he went to the bunker and might return at some point.”

Grace sighed and clasped Rook’s shoulder. “Didn’t take you as a cheater.” There was no accusation in her tone. She couldn’t believe her words, like it was impossible to see Rook as anything else other than the saint the resistance  had painted  him as .

“I’m not. Like I said, it’s complicated. I wanted to help  Sharky and all it did was make things worse. I miss him so much.”

“You said he might  come back to the bunker? You mean Dutch’s one?” It was who Jess asked, voice strained from mentioning her uncle. She knew he was dead. Rook didn’t have to tell her.

“Yeah, it’s where we stayed for months. Why?”

“Is anyone living there anymore?”

Rook shook his head. “No, the Ryes moved out to the Den. Again, why? It’s not like I can stay  there or anything. My home’s here now.”

It felt strangely liberating to say it.

“Well, why don’t we move in? I know the place by heart. Dutch took me  there so many times when I was a kid, I still remember it all. The church is great and all but  it’ s not a home. Sorry, Grace.”

“No, it’s fine. I know.” Grace sucked in a breath and let Jess stroke her hand comfortingly. “I suppose if we’re at the bunker, we’ll be able to tell you if he comes back.” 

“I can’t ask you to do that-”

“We want to. After all, we need a new home, the church was always falling apart, and the bunker’s as good as it gets for us. Neither of our old homes exist anymore and  it’s far away from people. It’s good. We’ll take it.”

Rook nodded. It was a good idea. He couldn’t go live there himself and Nick hadn’t seen  Sharky in a month, so what were the odds he’d be back tomorrow? No, wherever  Sharky was, Rook couldn’t follow. This was their best chance at reuniting, especially under Joseph’s nose. If the preacher had bad intentions, Rook could tell  Sharky ahead. 

“Okay. At least let me drive you there. I don’t know how much the Ryes had in terms of supplies but I’ll pack some things for you. But stay, until tomorrow. We’ve got hot water and decent beds. At least  treat yourself before going to the bunker. It’s not the cosiest place. It’s the least I can do to thank you.”

They didn’t argue. 

\---

The next morning, Grace and Jess looked refreshed and reluctant to leave. They’d enjoyed the hot water and soft bed, making good use of both. Rook had already packed two bags for them and stuffed it into a car, another thing that he was willing to give away. The  peggies had their big trucks, after all. They wouldn’t miss a rusty Nissan. No one was willing to argue with him either way.

The women were given their weapons back and soon they were on the road to the bunker. Rook got more and more nervous the closer they got. He knew the chances of  Shark y being there were low but still... he hoped. 

The bunker was the same but little things had changed that made Rook stop and look. The mugs on the table and clutter dishes in the sink, the blankets taken from the couch; all small things that made it messier and certainly inhabited by someone else. Joseph would have never let it get so unclean. 

Rook felt strange, nostalgic almost, to walk the corridors again. He saw with a smile that the fish were still alive and that someone had gone through the hassle of feeding them every few days. Jess swore she’d keep it up since Rook couldn’t take the whole damn tank back with him. She wanted to and Rook knew it was to honour her uncle.  Nick and Kim had already come back for their stuff, leaving the rooms in a hasty mess before the cult could track them down. Rook had never wished this for them but the Whitetails were safer than here, especially when it was just the two of them and a  seven-month-old baby. 

Sharky’s stuff was brought to the ranch ages ago but he’d taken some back to the bunker, dropping it off in the workshop. Rook sat down and grabbed the bag, unzipping it to pull out his friend’s belongings. He checked over his shoulder to make sure he was alone before bringing a shirt up to his face and inhaling it. Rook tried to keep it together as he put it on his knees so it didn’t touch the dirty ground. 

Sharky had left behind his journal, doodles in the margin and random notes about their lives. He talked about Rook mostly, his heroic adventures with  Sharky and how they fought side by side. The bunker, John and Joseph and how his opinion changed on them with time, everything from his expectations of the new world and his disappointment in the lack of over-sized monsters. Rook hadn’t realised he was crying until his vision was blurred and the words were unreadable. He shut the book and held it to his chest, weeping quietly with his back against the workbench so no one could see him.

In that moment, he hated Joseph. He hated what the man had done out of jealousy and anger, and Rook wanted so desperately to have his friend back.

Rook stood shakily and hunted down a pen, flicking to the last page so he could write in the margin.

_ I love you too _ _ , R. _

He shut the book again and put the items back in the bag, wiping his tears quickly so he could face the girls bravely. After all, that’s what  Sharky called him in his journal. Brave, cunning, endlessly amazing. All things Rook knew he wasn’t. He was just an idiot, stumbling through life because he wasn’t willing to die just yet. 

Grace said nothing about the puffiness of his eyes. She hugged him instead.

“We’ll take good care of this place. I promise.”

“I know you will.” Rook forced a smile as he pulled out of her reach. “When  Sharky comes back, let me know.”

“Of course.”

She let him leave without more than a small goodbye, lingering close to Jess as they waved him off through the open hatch. Left alone on the path, Rook realised he had no way of getting home without walking. The car was theirs after all.  He started down the road towards the bridge.


	29. Watchtower

T he wood creak ed beneath his feet. It wouldn’t break, sending him into the cold lake, but the noise still put him on edge. As he made it to the other side, looking at the world in two halves, burnt and lush green, it dawned on him that he didn’t have to return. He was hours from the ranch and both his lovers knew he heading out to the bunker so they wouldn’t send out a search party for a while. 

Being alone like this, sick with the twisted knife in his guts telling him a million directions to go, it made Rook miss the old days when he could disappear into the forests for weeks and never show his face. He’d done it  during a college  summer break  when his roommate swore by soul-searching on famous trails. Years later, Rook knew how to handle himself in the wild. Hope County had only enforced that knowledge. Rook didn’t need people. He needed a break from them  and  their confusing emotions and demands. 

Rook started walking towards the Whitetails. He knew of abandoned cabins off the paths, haunted by cobwebs and the odd owl. There was one not too far away, an hour’s walk if he cut through the trees and climbed up the slopes.

By nightfall, he had a fire going in the old stone chimney. He’d gathered logs from behind the cabin and folded out the bedroll he’d hidden  there from an earlier trip. There  were faded photos on the walls and a mounted deer head. The cabin had saved his life once, brought shelter from a hunting party of  Chosen and Judges. Just in case he ever needed to come back, he’d left supplies. 

As he boiled soup over the flames, Rook glanced out the window. His radio was silent for now. Boomer was at the ranch, probably wondering where he was, but the dog was safer with them than him. There were no animals to catch, no food to give him. Rook missed him but it was for the best.

He ate quietly and soon after, he tucked himself in the bed roll and left it unzipped. He had no gun to place beside his head as security, but the world was different. The  peggies were nice to him now , they wouldn’t barge in and drag his half-awake ass to the nearest Herald.

His radio made a clicking noise. He left it beside him, not wanting to talk to anyone right now.

“You’re trespassing on my land, soldier,” Jacob said, startling Rook. He’d expected the other two. “I believe your home is South, not North.” After a pause, Jacob continued. Maybe he was waiting for Rook to reply. “Why are you hiding in some cabin, Rook?”

Rook eventually couldn’t hold back from replying. He grabbed the radio. “I need time to think.”

It was vague but in case Joseph was listening in, the Deputy didn’t want to mention the real reason for his sudden holiday.

“There’s a watchtower half a mile up from where you are. Come find me in the morning.” Rook knew the one he was talking about. 

“And what if I don’t want to see you?” 

There was no need to push Jacob away. He’d done nothing to annoy him lately but Rook was  a mess , unable to focus on what he wanted when all he thought about was what he’d lost.

“Then you’ll break my heart. I’ll be waiting. Goodnight, Rook.”

“Night, Jacob.” 

Rook put the radio down and settled down, pulling the cover over his ears to stay warm. The fire was dying q uickly and he couldn’t find the effort to add another log.

\---

The watchtower sat perched on the edge of a cliff. Rook didn’t know enough about the rangers who’d once used it, whether it was to spot fire or simply a landmark for tourists to guide them through the miles of pines and leafy paths. The stairs spiralled upwards to a small cabin with a slated roof and a full balcony to overlook the sprawling land. 

There was no sign of Jacob at the base so Rook started climbing. His footsteps echoed on the metal as he dragged himself up. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with people but avoiding Jacob was not easily done. The Herald would track him down into a confrontation if Rook decided to hide in the woods. 

He reached the top of the stairs. Jacob was inside, sitting at the ranger’s desk and talking on the radio. Rook walked inside, closing the door behind him. 

“Good. Found out how many there are. Don’t get too close, we need them. Over and out.” Jacob flicked the radio off and turned in his chair to glance up at Rook. “Got reports of deer in the mountains. Small herd apparently, but if they’re coming back it means more will follow.”

Rook nodded. It was a great sign. He went over to a green couch in the corner and sat down, staring at Jacob and waiting for him to bombard him with questions.

“You lasted longer than I thought you would,” Jacob said instead with a weak smile. “My brothers may have their charms but they’ve got many issues too. I don’t blame you. You’re not the first.”

Rook was stunned for a moment. “I’m not leaving them.”

“If that’s the case, then why are you out here?” Jacob reached across the desk to a tall flask. He poured coffee into the lid and passed it to Rook.

“I told you. I need time to think.”

“About what?”

Rook sighed  irritably . All he wanted to do was get away and be alone but that was impossible with the Seeds. He chugged the coffee down.

“Whether I’m doing the right thing! Look, I don’t care how many times you tell me to move on, I still miss  Sharky . It’s not going to stop. Joseph was a fucking asshole and I know he’s trying to make it up to me. I want to say yes to him, just give in and go back to normal. But it’s not normal and I can’t just forget it ever happened. I don’t know when I’ll see him again.”

“And wandering around in the woods is going to give you all your answers?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t even know what I’m asking.”

Jacob reclined in the chair and drank from the flask, turning his gaze to the windows where the world was waking up. The dawn had risen hours ago but there was always a reluctance to face the next day.

“You want to be given permission,”  Jacob said after a couple minutes. “To care for my brother and your friend at the same time. You want both of them but that’s not possible. Rook, you’re over-complicating things. Boshaw isn’t here and there’s nothing you can do about that. You don’t know where he went or if he’s still alive.”

“That’s not helping-”

“ So you need to redirect that focus. You’ve survived without him before, you can do it again. There are people who need you. Not just my brothers but the militia and the police. Find your purpose, Rook.”

“I thought I did when I was fighting the cult. Turns out I was fucking things up the whole time.”

“You don’t need to fight anyone. I think that’s the opposite now thanks to you and Joseph.” Jacob looked  mildly annoyed. “Dedicate yourself to a task. Surely there’s something you can do.”

Rook sighed. “I’m a soldier. You said so yourself. There’s no war. The fuck am I supposed to do? What do  _ you  _ even do?”

“I have people to train. Not everyone knows how to survive and they need a teacher. I run the centre, I oversee everything that goes on there and I make sure things run smoothly.”

“That’s because you’re a leader. I’m not. I don’t lead.”

“If you don’t lead, you follow. You’re not the type to listen to orders, Rook. I know you, better than you think. Rebellious army brat, always found trouble or made it yourself. Honourably discharged after  one tour, never showed your face to the service again. Your CO wrote you up several times for breaking the rules but your dad saved your ass before it got out of hand.”

No one knew that. His records were sealed, his dad had made sure before retirement so that Rook could carry on a normal life. How could Jacob know?

“That’s none of your business.”

“You’re dating my brother s . It is my business. I know why you did all those things, Rook. The fights, the nights spent in hospital because you broke something or you were too drunk. You had no purpose, a wayward child with no discipline. And then they gave you a gun and you became so much greater. Your grades were exemplary and you would’ve soared through the ranks if you stayed in service. Tell me, when everything was going so well, why did you leave?”

“It wasn’t the life I wanted. Hiding in some barn or cave wondering if the enemy knew where we were and if they’d kill us in our sleep.”

“You weren’t scared to die,” Jacob stated as if he could see right into Rook’s heart and read it aloud. “I’ve seen how strong you are. It wasn’t death that sent you running.”

“I knew there was more to me than being a weapon,” Rook quietly admitted. He never spoke of his service, only when  it came to finding jobs. Sheriff Whitehorse had been so thrilled with his record. “Fighting here, it’s turned me into a weapon again and I thought I knew how to switch it off. I ran last time, made a new life, but I can’t do that here. Not when there’s people who care about me.”

“What did you do after your discharge?”

“ My dad forced me to join the police.  I ended up in Montana in the Sheriff’s office and then... well, you know the rest after that.”

Jacob nodded and stood, looking down at Rook. He grabbed the empty lid and screwed it back on the flask, shoving it into a bag he’d brought with him. 

“You found something similar but less dangerous.”

“Yeah, until Joseph needed arresting.”

“Rook, would you like a job? I need teachers at the centre; people who know how to  survive. There’s myself and one other man. We’re stretched thin as it is and I could always use another set of hands. What do you say? You get a break from Joseph and I’ll make sure you’re put to good use.”

Rook wasn’t sure what to say. Jacob was right,  it gave him everything he needed. A new focus. A task to devote himself to. 

“Yes. I’ll take it.”

“Good. I’m  driving you home and I expect you at the centre tomorrow morning at eight for your first day.” 

Jacob grabbed his bag and kept the door open so Rook could follow him down the stairs. They climbed into the Jeep and soon Rook was home, greeted by Joseph and drawn into his arms.

\---

The centre wasn’t as Rook remembered it. The cages in the yard were empty and only a couple Judges wandered around. What took up most of the space were long and sturdy wooden buildings and vehicles parked alongside the hospital.

Rook expected to be stopped at the gates but the  peggie on duty waved him in with a smile, directing him to the other cars. When he got out, the scent of blood that had once lingered was gone. It was all clean. He’d arrived ten minutes early but Jacob was nowhere in sight.

“Hey, Jacob told us you were coming,” another  peggie said though Rook hadn’t asked. The man was short, dressed in camo with hints of red on his uniform. A Chosen. He was smiling as if Rook was just another friend passing by. He could’ve been there at the ranch that fateful day with Jacob for all he knew but the  peggie seemed quite happy to see him.

“Where is he?” 

“At this time, probably in the mess hall. Follow me, I’ll take you.”

Rook was led into the centre. People were everywhere, carrying out chores or heading out. They all looked at the Deputy, some pleased, others disgruntled to have someone like him in their precious home. What confused Rook was that they were all  peggies . He knew non-cultists had been assigned to the centre on the Sheriff’s orders. He ended up asking the Chosen.

“Oh, they’re in the barracks. They didn’t want to come inside so we ended up making space for them outside.  Kinda stupid if you ask me but that’s what they wanted.”

“That’s... thoughtful of you.” 

“It’s the will of the Father,” the Chosen answered, still smiling. He held a door open for Rook.

The mess hall was a long room filled with rows of plastic tables and benches. The kitchen was set up along one wall and  it looked like the cooks were finishing up. Only a few people sat and ate, one of which was Jacob. He was surrounded by a couple Chosen but when he spotted Rook, his attention immediately went to the Deputy. The Chosen fell silent as Rook approached, hovering near the table.

“Have you eaten yet?” Jacob asked.

“Yeah, I did.”

Jacob seemed pleased. He quickly shoved the last bit of his breakfast in his mouth and stood, taking the tray to a cart filled with used plates and cutlery. 

“Come on, I’ll show you around.” He waved Rook closer and headed out of the hall. “You made a good decision by coming here. The resistance won’t let us help them. They’re hellbent on doing their own thing even at the cost of my people’s lives.”

“What do you mean?” Rook was under the impression everything was running smoothly.

“They take supplies without asking and refuse to lend a hand with runs. The Sheriff sent these guys down a couple weeks ago and they’ve caused problems. The first batch was fine, co-operating with our rules but not these ones.”

“And you don’t know how to deal with it?”

Jacob scoffed, leading them out into the courtyard. “I  _ know  _ how to deal with them, but I’m supposed to play nice. Hence why I need your special touch to get these assholes in line. Here, it’s the second building.”

The barracks he’d passed on the way in. Looking closer, he noticed how everyone steered clear. No one came in or out.

“That’s my job?”

Jacob clapped his shoulder. “Yep. I need someone who ’s been on both sides, figure out what they need and tell me.”

“They want you gone.”

“Well, that’s not happening so tough shit.”

Rook was left alone, staring at the barrack’s door and wishing he was just about anywhere else. He glanced around but the  peggies were ignoring him, busying themselves with suddenly very important tasks. Sighing to himself, he knocked on the door. A moment later, an older guy with grey hair and a baseball cap shoved low over his eyes answered. He glared at Rook for  a moment before realising who was standing there.

“Shit, didn’t expect to see you here,” the man grunted around the stub of cigarette between his lips. Rook tried not to cough as the man blew smoke in his face.

“I came to check on you guys, make sure you’re doing alright. Mind if I come in?” The man hesitated, looked back over his shoulder, and finally moved aside to let Rook in.

There were beds cluttering most of the long room and on them were several people, all different in appearance and age. The Sheriff had probably thrown out the excess from the Den. Rook nodded in  their direction but no one seemed happy to see him. 

“So?”

Rook turned back to the man. “How are you doing out here? Are you getting everything you need?”

The man scoffed. “I guess. The bastards are staying out of our way. Did Jacob Seed send you? We’ve all heard the stories, Deputy, about you making friendly with the cult. ”

“If you mean ensuring the survival of Hope County, then yes. We have made peace, for the most part. It’s better than rotting on some roadside, don’t you think?” Rook wanted to remain calm, to attempt a more diplomatic approach, but the man was stuck in his hate. He wasn’t willing to listen to Rook’s speech. “Do you have a leader among you?”

“ I’m the leader .”

“Then tell me what you need. I know you’re aware of what you’re doing, stealing supplies, hiding in here rather than contributing.”

“We  ain’t helping them-”

“They helped you,” Rook argued back, crossing his arms. He noticed a couple guys stand from the beds and approach so he made sure his back was to the wall and not them. “These barracks weren’t here before. That food you stole, they scavenged it for you. At this point, all of us are trying to survive and differences have to be put aside.”

The man suddenly stepped in close, grabbing Rook’s collar. The Deputy pushed him back but the man was deceivingly strong and kept a tight grip, forcing Rook against the wall. The man leaned in, smoky breath on Rook’s cheek that made him cringe.

“We don’t owe them shit. Those  cunts destroyed our county and now, just because they found some cans of beans, we have to forgive all the shit that happened? There  were corpses nailed to buildings! I lost my wife to the cult!”

“I didn’t know-”

“I don’t give a shit. You’re no better than them.”

The ones from the other side of the room were closing in. Rook noticed a blade glinting in the light. The  teen holding it was ready to stab him. 

Rook needed out. 

Now. 

He crashed his forehead down on the man’s nose, breaking it with a wet crunch. The man staggered back, grabbing his face and groaning in pain. Rook spun into the door, fumbling with the handle quickly to escape, but the kid with the knife was faster. He barely dodged the blade, throwing himself out of the door.

He fell to the ground and the kid followed. Rook saw the knife before he felt it,  slicing into his calf, sharp pain making him scream out and kick the kid in the face. He pulled his leg up, yanking the knife out so he had a weapon. He stumbled to his feet, limping as blood ran down the back of his leg. Rook felt dizzy but he noticed the kid getting up, panting with a bloody hand raised up in a fist. 

“Stand down!” A  peggie yelled close to Rook. She had her rifle up and aimed at the kid. “Stand the fuck down or I’ll blow your head open.”

Reluctantly the kid lowered his arms and two  peggies grabbed him, dragging him away from the barracks and the people inside who’d been  watching . Jacob was striding across the yard, gun in hand and furiously glaring at those in the doorway. Rook wavered in place, strength sapped from him as his heart slowed. He didn’t realise that the floor was swaying until someone caught him before he could fall back.

“Jesus Christ, I left you alone for ten minutes,” Jacob complained in Rook’s ear before pulling Rook’s arm over his shoulders to help him walk back inside. The  peggies knew what to do and Rook saw the men in the  barracks were being pulled out one by one.

“Don’t kill them,” Rook begged, wincing as he put pressure on his injured leg by accident. 

Jacob adjusted his weight, taking him to the infirmary. He helped Rook sit on a bed and brought a  peggie over to bring whatever Jacob thought would be necessary. Taking off his jeans was painful and mildly  embarrassing but Jacob said nothing. Rook managed to lie on his chest, clutching the pillow tight as he  gritted his teeth and let Jacob clean the wound.

“It’s not deep. You’re lucky,” the soldier said as he started stitching the skin back together. “ What the fuck happened in there?”

“I was talking about the stolen supplies and the main guy started comparing me to the cult. Next thing I knew, some kid had a knife. Pretty sure he wanted to kill me.”

“And you don’t want them dead?”

“We’re trying to restore humanity, Jacob. That includes laws. I am a cop.”

Jacob hummed but he didn’t sound very convinced. “Doesn’t that equal an arrest? Assaulting an officer.”

“Yeah. They’re Whitehorse’s guys so technically he should find a suitable punishment. Does he know about the problems here?”

“Nope. No point bringing it up when we can deal with it ourselves.” Rook rolled his eyes. They were handling it  _ so  _ well. “Okay, you’re done. It’ll scar but I don’t think you care.”

“That’s my modelling career over then.”

Jacob laughed softly. “What a shame.” He adjusted the wrap and patted Rook’s other leg. “You’ll stay here tonight. I’m not letting you drive with a stab wound.”

“Are you going to be my private nurse?”

“Jesus, I haven’t even given you painkillers yet. Sure, I’ll be your nurse. Come on, I’ll help you upstairs. You’re not staying here where I can’t keep an eye on you.” 

\---

Jacob’s room doubled as his office. There was an oak desk to one side and a large bed on the other, covered in thick fleece blankets. An Eden’s Gate flag was draped by the desk and Jacob had his own copy of Joseph’s book on the bedside table.  The overhead light was made from antlers and candles were dotted about the room, unlit but their wicks already burnt.

Rook was helped towards the bed and carefully sat down. His leg felt better from the medication but it still hurt to use it.

“I figured you’d get me my own room.”

“This isn’t a hotel. Plus, this is the safest place to be.” 

Jacob gestured at the door and its many locks and bolts. For now, only one was used but Rook could see how defendable the room  was. There  were rifles on the shelves and a grab-bag for emergencies. 

“ Hell of a first day,” Rook said softly as he laid down and stared up at the ceiling. “What’s my wage again? I think you’ll have to double it or I might sue.” 

Jacob  chuckled softly , retrieving a bottle of scotch and a couple glass from his desk. “You’re an intern. You don’t get paid.” He poured out a decent amount, waiting until Rook sat up against the pillows to hand it over.

“Why the fuck did I agree to this in the first place?”

“You can’t resist my charm.”

“Yeah. No, I don’t think that’s the reason.” Rook downed the shot and winced. “Damn, that’s strong.”

Jacob nodded and tossed his back, grinning from ear to ear as it went down a lot easier for him. He sighed and took the space beside Rook, thighs pressed against each other.

“I should’ve stayed at home.”

“And miss all the fun?”

“ Yes, getting s tabb ed is so much fun. I get that they’re angry but I’m trying to be the peacemaker.” Rook rested his head on Jacob’s shoulder, too tired and annoyed to do much more than sit there  half- comfortabl e . “Just wanted to do something right.”

“ Yep, t rying to help people who don’t want to be helped is a pain in the ass. Trust me, I know. Give them time, since that seems to be the peaceful method.”

“Fuck the peaceful method. The kid’s getting jail time and you’re doubling  defences on the supplies. If they want food, they can go get it like everyone else in the canteen.”

“I can agree to that. But aside from  dealing with  the trigger-happy resistance, I do need you here to teach those who are willing to learn. The first group Whitehorse sent had a bunch of  kids who’ve never held a gun in their lives.”

“I didn’t know there were kids left in the county when the bombs hit.” The thought had never occurred but Rook was glad they were still alive. Probably fucked up mentally but alive. “It’s fine, I’ll do it. Don’t need legs to do demonstrations. I mean, my chemistry teacher in  high-school taught from a wheelchair.” 

“Good, because I need extra hands here. Between what I’ve shared to the ranch, the town, and my supply parties, I’m out of  workers . Start tomorrow?”

Rook shook his head. “Nah, give me a couple hours and I’ll be okay.”

“You don’t have to today. I’ll give you a day to rest-”

“Shut up, I made up my mind. After all, you are begging for my help. How can I refuse?” Rook laughed as Jacob punched his shoulder lightly, smiling as he did. 


	30. We must have FAITH

The kids Jacob had described were young. Ranging between nine and fifteen, the three came from different families. The youngest had none left alive but she was alert and ready to listen, which Rook was grateful for. He wouldn’t teach her how to use a gun yet but the two others could. Instead, he made sure she knew how to s afely s tart a fire and identify a good shelter. As he stripped down a basic automatic rifle in a small room , he told the two boys the names of the parts and encouraged them to write it all down. His lesson went on for an hour and he kept swapping his attention between the kids, making sure the girl was keeping up. Rook never asked how they survived but he praised their work and insisted they keep their notes for the next day. After they left to return to their guardians, Jacob  seeked him out.

“How was it?”

“Good. Smart kids, willing to learn.” Rook felt happy, accomplished even, and he let Jacob help him up from the spinning chair.

“I radioed Whitehorse an hour ago . He said he’d send somebody down to check the situation. They’ll be here soon. You sure you’re up for this?”

“I’m fine. I’m strong, remember?” Jacob smiled faintly and guided Rook to the  front entrance, supporting him with the crutches.

It was already mid-afternoon and the sun was filtering through the pines. A Judge trotted past with its handler, sniffing the ground curiously. The barracks were guarded by an armed  peggie , the same woman who’d noticed the fight first. Rook waved to her, much to Jacob’s amusement.

“I think they’re glad you’re not shooting at them anymore,”  Jacob commented quietly as they sat on the steps of the centre, away from the open door, so they could wait.  he pulled out his cigarettes to pass the time. 

“No point. We’re allies now.”

“Is that what we are?” Jacob bumped elbows with him, the most openly kind he was willing to be in public. 

“I’d like to think so.  Kinda hard not to be when I’m sleeping with your brothers,” Rook replied softly between them, not wanting anyone to overhear though he was sure people knew already.

“I don’t know. You could be a spy, sleeping with the enemy for secrets.” 

Rook laughed, gazing out onto the busy yard. A truck rolled in through the gates and he got his hopes up, before realising it belonged to the  peggies . Those nearby began helping to unload to supplies.

“Finding a lot out there?”

“Enough to survive a good while. What we need are those crops and some cattle. I’m not worried yet.” Jacob exhaled smoke away from Rook, burdening the bushes with it instead. 

“ A ny people?” 

“A few here and there but Whitehorse is in charge of  locals . Our guys come back with us but the others...”

“Not quite so easy with them,” Rook finished.

“Exactly. I’m not complaining, it’s more than I expected to survive and we’ve got a decent amount on both sides. Men and women. It will help in the long run.”

Rook crinkled his nose, making Jacob chuckle. “ Ew .” 

“Don’t be such  a pussy. It’s simple biology, unless you have other means of continuing the human race.”

“Yeah, I’m not doing much towards that.” Rook had never thought about having kids of his own, wasn’t really written in the stars. He was fine dealing with other kids, though.

“Me neither,” Jacob admitted calmly, like he’d thought about it for a while and came to that conclusion in peace. “I wouldn’t make a good dad.”

Rook frowned. “You would,” he reassured him. “Might not turn out as a social butterfly but they’d survive life a lot easier with you guiding them. I mean it.”

Jacob bumped elbows again and he smiled gently, his eyes thanking Rook when he couldn’t find the words. “Well, that’s all good and fine but I still would need a woman.”

“Can’t be hard. Aren’t Heralds all desirable bachelors? Or supposed to be.”

Jacob hid his laugh behind his hand, pretending he was smoking. “Never heard that one before. John might be desirable but  he’s got the looks . No woman is falling over to get to me. It’s okay, I’d probably get creeped out.”

“I’m not talking about herds of horny women but like... one girl. Surely. You wouldn’t want that?” Maybe it was Rook’s love-tainted view on life that made him think that way but being alone again, without someone to hold him, was unbearable to imagine now.

The gates opened up again and a single car rolled through slowly. It wasn’t a  peggie . Rook glanced at Jacob, still waiting for his response. Jacob threw the cigarette down and crushed it under his muddy boot.

“Sure, I’d like that. But on the one condition that she has a dick.” He winked at Rook, flustering the younger man, before standing and greeting the guest.

Rook stayed where he was, unwilling to stand on his injured leg. He’d say hello when they were closer. He watched the driver get out and frowned as Staci closed the door and said something to Jacob. Why had Earl decided this would be a good idea? They all knew the risks. Still, Staci was standing his ground and Jacob waved him towards Rook.

“Sorry, I’d stand and hug you but some kid stabbed me this morning.” 

Staci looked distraught and his eyes scanned Rook for the damage. He barely had the notion to shake Rook’s hand as he came to stand in front of him. 

“Are you okay? Earl told me you got hurt so I came down to check on you.”

“Yeah, I’m doped on some great painkillers. We’ve got some locals refusing to play nice and they turned on me. I think we’ll need to reinstall the law around here. Someone’s already getting arrested today.”

Staci glanced at Jacob, his frown growing deeper. “Where are they now?”

“Locked up separately. The group’s  been a problem for a while, stealing food and water.”

“Shit, okay. Well, I’ll need to write up their side of it and yours too. I can take the attacker back to the Den and see what Earl wants to do with him. I’m surprised he’s still alive.” Staci eyed Jacob nervously but the Herald crossed his arms. 

“Wasn’t my call,” he said simply. Staci nodded slowly, turning back to Rook.

“Guess you’re a Deputy again, Pratt,” Rook said.

“You too, apparently. If you still want the job.”

Rook shrugged. “I’ll think about it. Alright, Stace , you can take my  statement now. Let’s just go inside, these steps are numbing my ass.”

Jacob stepped in to help Rook before Staci could make a move, surprising the newly re appointed Deputy. He stood by with a puzzled expression as Rook started heading back inside, his arm slung over Jacob’s shoulders and the other supported by the crutches. Quietly he followed, remembering the layout of the centre and where everything was. They ended up in a meeting room, where the Chosen usually met to discuss any cult plans. Staci had sat in and taken notes for Jacob in the past, the only time when he could blend in with the walls and be forgotten for an hour or two. 

Rook sat down heavily with a pained huff, patting Jacob’s arm as the soldier made sure he was comfortable before stepping back. Staci took a seat opposite him, pulling a notepad from the bag he’d brought with him. He shucked off his thick coat and balled his gloves into a pocket. Jacob was hovering behind Rook, making Staci glance between them nervously.

He was doing better around Jacob, especially since the man was only doing the bare minimum and hardly paying attention to Pratt. It’s just that this would go quicker if it was just him and Rook. In the end, he didn’t have to  voice anything . Rook did it for him.

“Hey, Jake, you really don’t need to be here with me. I’m fine and I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do than hover around me.” 

Jacob raised a brow at his shortened name but said nothing, clasping Rook’s shoulder once and squeezing tight. He glance d at Staci before he left, closing the door behind him. Staci sighed softly.

“You sure you’re okay? What are you even doing here?”

“Jacob wanted someone who’s got experience talking to both sides. Wasn’t expecting to be attacked, though. It’s not just that they don’t want to be here, they want the fighting back. The guy I talked to would be happier letting everyone die than moving on.”

“You can’t really move on from what the cult did, Rookie. It’s been more than half a year but still, give it five, maybe ten, years and then you’ll get the peace you’re after.”

Rook rubbed his face with one hand, looking out the small window towards the mountains. “Have you moved on ? I mean, you and Jacob.”

“I don’t know,” Staci answered honestly, fiddling with his pen. “I don’t jump at the sound of his voice anymore and he isn’t doing anything to make me uncomfortable. He’s stopped most of that. Like, before when I was here, he’d always have his hands on me. Guiding me around, grabbing my shoulders, playing with my hair. He’s doing it to you, now.”

“Jacob and I... I don’t know how to describe it. There’s nothing going on but he’s  calm around me. Little touches here and there when we’re alone but that’s all. It isn’t the worst thing he’s done. Anyways, we should get back to the statement. That’s why you’re here after all, Deputy Pratt.”

Staci huffed a laugh, nodding mindlessly. He hadn’t heard that in a while. It was nice. He properly grabbed his pen and started the formal statement, slowly sinking back in to the rhythm as Rook answered in detail.

\---

“Do you still have your badge?” Jacob asked as they were getting ready for sleep. There was no couch in the room; even if there had been, Jacob would have taken the bed. There was enough space for both of them and Rook managed to keep his leg straight.

Rook had to think for a moment. He hadn’t touched  his badge since he’d found it in Dutch’s bunker months ago. “It’s somewhere in one of my bags. My uniform’s gone, burned after I met Joseph, and so is the rest of my old stuff. Why do you ask?”

“I was just thinking about what Pratt said. You were a good cop, maybe it’s worthwhile to consider going back. With how our county is evolving, we’ll need some sort of law enforcement. Why not hire the same cops as before?”

Jacob switched the light off, settling down  on his chest  with one arm beneath his pillow and his bare back covered by the thick blanket. Moonlight filtered through the wooden blinds across the floor but it wasn’t enough to see Jacob’s face. The night was accompanied by nearby howls and quiet chatter of patrolling guards, but it was enough to remind Rook that life still existed despite the world’s end. It made him smile.

“So? What do you think, Deputy?”

“Maybe. You just got me and you already want me  gone. Shortest internship ever.” 

Jacob chuckled softly and  nudged Rook’s shoulder with his nose , startling him. When he spoke, his lips brushed Rook’s skin.

“It’s not that. You need a purpose. Being a cop again...  surely it’s something you’d enjoy doing. You’d get to boss everyone around.”

“I do that anyways,” Rook pointed out sarcastically. Ever since he’d started making a name for himself fighting the cult, people had been more willing to listen and obey. He had more respect now than he ever did wearing the badge. “I don’t know. I’ll  think about it.”

\---

During the afternoon, Rook’s radio made a beep and Joseph called out his name. Rook pushed himself away from the desk, rolling around the room on his spinning chair until he could reach it in his bag. 

“ Y’ello ?” 

Too casual for someone like Joseph but Rook went with it. He was doped and bored from checking the kids’ notes after his morning class.  They were doing well, learning quicker than he’d thought but then again, what choice did they have? Sooner or later, they’ll go outside and work like everyone else. He just hoped their childhoods weren't entirely ruined and cut short.

“Rook, I’m glad to hear your voice. Jacob told me  what happened. Are you alright?” Joseph sounded tired, like he hadn’t slept much. 

“I’m fine, don’t know when I’ll come home. Jacob’s got me teaching some kids.”

“He said. Rook, we never talked about this. One moment, you’re taking your friends away and now I’m told Jacob’s offered you a place by his side. What’s going on?”

Joseph was far too attentive sometimes, Rook thought. His thumb hovered over the radio buttons. He didn’t have an explanation that he could give to Joseph easily. It dawned on him that he’d already been gone a while and had only briefly slept at the ranch before his first day. He hadn’t said much to Joseph in that time either.

“I just... I need a purpose,” Rook finally answered with a sigh. “I don’t really do much at the ranch and I like being needed. Jacob just wanted to help.”

“It’s fine. Well, no, it  _ isn’t  _ fine because I’ve barely spoken to you and I-” Joseph cut off for a moment. “You need your space, I understand that. Please, just be safe.”

“I will be. Hey, I’d come home if I could but Jacob won’t let me drive.” That and he really  needed  time away to think. “Look, it’s just until my leg heals a bit more. After that, I’m all yours. And I bet you’ve got plenty to do without me. Don’t you have any sermons?”

Something changed in Joseph’s voice, like he was lighter and more awake. “Yes, I do. In fact, there’s a young lady who would like to be baptised.”

“Really?”

“She came the other day asking to join us. It seems she’s accepted the Project's truth and she’s ready to welcome God into her heart.” 

Rook noticed he was chewing his lower lip. It shouldn’t worry him, right? The Seeds had changed for the better, they wouldn’t go back to their old ways. Right? 

“Okay, see, you’ve got stuff to do.” Rook was ready to say goodbye but he hadn’t spoken to John before he went. “How’s John doing?”

“Oh, he’s fine. He misses you.”

“I miss him too.” John wasn’t the one Rook wanted to avoid but Rook had to go entirely or he’d never catch a break. “Keep an eye on him. During the baptism, I mean. I know he’s getting better-”

“Everything will be fine. I promise I won’t let him out of my sight. I have to go but I just wanted to check in on you. Try to avoid being stabbed while you’re there.”

Rook waved his hand dismissively out of habit, not that the preacher could see his shrug either. “Just a few angry locals, nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

“But you haven’t dealt with this before, Rook,” Joseph corrected softly. “This is new for all of us so I beg you to tread carefully. We both know you love going in guns blazing and I- I really don’t want to lose you, Rook.” 

“You won’t lose me.”

“I have to go now. I love you, Rook. I’ll talk to you when I can, if not, I’ll pass on a message to Jacob.”

“I love you too.” He did, he really did. “Bye, Joseph.” 

\---

Boomer was going crazy, barking for his owner constantly and whining at the door. John felt bad for the dog and gave him treats, but the dog needed Rook and that wasn’t happening soon. Joseph had told him about the attack. It made John want to take his guards up to the centre and deal with the problem with his bare hands, but he kept himself in check for Rook’s sake. Maybe he should be angry about the invisible leash the young Deputy had put on him but John knew deep down it was for their benefit. 

He adjusted the rolled-up cuffs of his shirt as he waited for the sermon to start. Joseph had what he ’d always  wanted and preferred , a gathering in a pop-up tent in some field close to the ranch. The helpers had laid out benches and John watched as they filled the space. 

Joseph stood on a crate, just above their heads so everyone could see him. It was like they were back at the beginning, seeking the few people who listened and wanted to join their  congregation. The weather was warm enough for Joseph to wear a thin shirt. It hung loosely off his skeletal frame but his brother didn’t mind. It was expected to be thin but Joseph was far from frail. He had more strength in him than anyone could see and John admired that. 

Joseph raised his hands and the tent fell silent, every pair of eyes on him. It was their fourth sermon already, not quite  w hat they were used to, but many  peggies had travelled across the county to be here. 

“My Brothers and Sisters, each time we meet here God grows prouder of you. Every single of you accepted the changes God has brought to you. It has been a difficult year for our flock. We’ve all been tested  beyond imagination but all of us here today are proof that we can achieve anything.”

There was a murmur in the crowd as the  peggies basked in the praise.  It used to creep John out, the way they melted at a single encouragement and how their eyes grew full of love. Joseph was unfazed, a simple messenger passing on God’s words. The love wasn’t for him, it was for God. 

“The alliance that was forged between the people of the county has made us strong. We are on the rise and the Eden we were promised is almost there. There is food, there is shelter, and most importantly, there is peace. Those of you who toil in the fields, we thank you. Those who search endlessly for supplies, we thank you. And those who a re ready to a ccept God’s embrace, we thank you.”

Joseph held out his arms towards a young woman on the front bench. She was stunning,  with light brown hair that flowed in waves to her small shoulders and covered with a white dress. John had never seen her before but he couldn’t take his eyes away. 

“We have someone here today who has come to us seeking guidance. She was doubtful, frightened; but  soon she  will have a home and a family with us . I ask you all to treat her as you would your own kin. You are all welcome to the baptism afterwards to witness.”

The woman was shy but she never looked away, even when her cheeks grew hot and everyone was watching her. Joseph smiled kindly at her before he resumed his speech, starting to quote the Bible and applying it to these people’s  arduous lives. John listened with half an ear. He’d heard it a thousand times already and he’ll hear it a thousand times more. Joseph had not mentioned the baptism. Was he expecting John to do it? Or was the honour so great it would fall to the Father to bring this girl to the fold?

When the sermon ended, Joseph stepped down into the aisle and spoke to the gathered. He held hands, accepted hugs and kind words, let them look upon him as their saviour. John had to join at some point but he was distracted by the girl again. In the end, curiosity won out and he approached with a charming smile.

“I don’t believe we’ve met,” he started, all honey words and smooth  demeanour. “John Seed.” 

She stood and shook his hand. Though she was small, her grip was firm and surprised John. “I know who you are. It’s a pleasure. My name’s Charlotte Reed.”

“What a lovely name. If I might ask, what brought you to our church?”

Charlotte smiled softly. There was something about her that made John watch her carefully. She was too nice, like it was an act. It hit him suddenly; she was like Faith. Kind words, lovely attitude, always five steps ahead.

“I want there to be more to my life than survival. I realised I needed to change that.”

“Are you religious?” It was one thing to want a community but the Project needed devotion too.

Charlotte gazed up to the roof of the tent, still smiling. “I do know there is something out there. Whether it is a God or an entity we can’t begin to understand, I believe it exists.”

“John, I see you’ve met Charlotte,” Joseph interrupted, arms stretched out to touch their arms. The  peggies were filing out of the exit, chatting happily and loudly. “Charlotte, if you’re ready, I’d like to accompany you to the river. Everything is set up and you’ll have an audience.”

“I’m ready, Father.” She said it so easily, like she’d been part of the cult for years.

“Good. Would you kindly wait outside for a moment? I must speak with my brother.”

Charlotte nodded. “Of course.” She stepped down the aisle and someone held the tent flap away so she could leave. People already liked her.

“What’s going on, Joseph?” John asked once they were truly alone.

“I need you to baptise her. It’s your purpose after all.”

“You didn’t tell me about this! That girl, she’s... There’s something off about her. It’s like she’s trying too hard.”

Joseph sighed and frowned. “John, she’s nervous. The girl’s lost her family and she hasn’t been with us long.  Of course, she’s trying to be as nice as possible.”

John didn’t want to doubt his brother. Joseph was always right. But still,  it nagged at him. 

“Okay, fine, but Joseph... I know you see it too. She’s like Faith. The resemblance is  _ there _ -”

Joseph clasped his shoulder, forcing John to hush and look at him. There was a seriousness to his eyes that John didn’t like. His brother had to know, he could see it plain as day.

“Will you baptise her?”

“Yes, Joseph.”

The preacher smiled tightly and took his brother’s face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together. He pulled back and walked out of the tent to join Charlotte. When John followed, they took him and several  peggies down the hill to the river bank where the water was calmer and the current weak.

The  peggies gathered on the side, watching eagerly as John stood on the rocks. Water lapped at his boots, reminding him of the hundreds of times he’d done this. He could do it again. Looking back at Joseph, his brother was expecting him to start. John didn’t want to disappoint him so he stepped forward. He didn’t stop wadding through the water until it reached his hips, his lower half completely soaked, but he felt calmer further away from the crowd. He turned back and Joseph was nodding approvingly.

Charlotte was brought forth. She seemed nervous but Joseph leaned down to whisper in her ear. Whatever he had said convinced her to join John. She was unsteady on the rocks, her bare feet trying to stability. John grabbed her outstretched hand, pulling her towards him. Charlotte was a short girl so the water reached just below her ribs.

“I probably should have mentioned I’m scared of water,” she said quietly so only John could hear her, glancing around her.

“Don’t be scared. Water is cleansing.” 

John was used to people like that, frightened of being submerged, in fear of drowning. Some had died when he’d been too preoccupied with his own thoughts, holding them down for too long. Joseph was guilty of it too. Those people just simply weren’t meant to be part of their flock. He contemplated drowning Charlotte, to stop whatever virus she was hiding from spreading, but his brother was watching and he couldn’t fail Joseph. Not now, not after everything. Joseph had picked him for the task. It was a test.

“You’ll be alright,” he comforted. “Just lie back and let the water wash away your sins.”

John guided her onto her back, one arm around her waist so the current couldn’t send her downstream. He looked up at Joseph for a brief flicker of his brother’s pride. Charlotte’s hand moved beneath the water to grab at his shirt, clutching the fabric so she had an anchor.

“From this day on, you will forsake your past. Your sins will be laid bare so that God will grant you passage to Eden. Everything you were is gone. You will be reborn, pure and untouched by sin.”

Those on the banks fell quiet as John spoke, listening to every word. John raised  his hand and placed it on Charlotte’s forehead, pushing her down under the water. She gripped his shirt tighter but never fought against the baptism. He waited a moment before pulling her back up.

“Your soul has been cleansed. Go forth with God’s light.” 

She stood back up, finding her footing on the slippery rocks, and let go of John. Charlotte glanced back at the bank, to Joseph who was smiling and to the  peggies who were eager to bring her into their fold. 

“You did well,” John praised with honesty. He’d expected her to struggle or cough up the river water.

“Thank you, John.”

He took her hand, leading her back to the shore where she was wrapped in a thick blanket. Joseph came to her, holding her face gently.

“Welcome to  Eden’s Gate, Charlotte. You did very well.”

“Thank you, Father. I’m so happy to be here,” she said with a smile, gazing up at Joseph adoringly. He brushed back some of her wet hair and let her go. 

One of the  peggies led her up to the ranch for dry clothes, and the rest of the congregation followed. John breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t fuck up. Everything went well. Joseph was pleased.

“You did well, too,” his brother said, looping an arm around his back and pulling him close under a woollen blanket. “She is special. The first outsider since the end. You were right, there is something different, and we must use it. That girl will stand as proof that Eden’s Gate still has influence.”

“Is she the new Faith?”

“Perhaps. Time will tell but she’s smart and people like her.” Joseph looked back to where she was being guided up the  forested hill.  Peggies were keeping her balanced, helping her however they could.

“Joseph,  a r e w e c l a i m i n g b a c k t h e c o u n t y ? ”

The preacher hummed softly. “This is our promised Eden. You know what happened to Rook. Not everyone is ready for peace and we do not have the numbers to fight them all off if they decided to start another war. Having someone we can trust bringing people in, fortifying our army, it will give us an advantage.” Joseph said all this with a smile, rubbing John’s back to ward off the river's chill. He was always thinking about the good of the  Project and his family.

“We’d have an ally in the Henbane again.”

Joseph patted him and started heading up the path to the ranch. John followed , looking back at the river and wondering whether he’d made the right call. Joseph knew what he was doing but  it terrified John that his brother was always so many steps ahead, when he was lacking behind and unaware of Joseph’s plans. What would Rook say when he’d inevitably find out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought of this chapter and if the length was good! As it currently stands, I'm 189 pages ahead in my writing compared to the chapter uploads and this story will have many chapters. I'm wondering whether to make them longer since they're already so brief.


	31. Locked Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!! This contains sounding so if you're squeamish with things inserted into dicks, you can skip John's part at the end. It won't affect the story, it's just smut.

Rook was clawing the walls. His leg was fine but Jacob was turning into a mother-hen. There was no need for so much worry. Rook could walk, albeit a little painfully, but he’d had worse. He wanted to go home and take a hot shower and laze in bed with his boyfriends and not get up at stupid o’clock because Jacob liked to greet the sun as it rose. Rook preferred to sleep until ten or eleven. And on top of that, he really needed some alone time. 

The centre was always busy, people constantly coming in or out. He had lessons to teach but there was only so much that could be taught in theory. The kids needed to go outside and actually build shelters and traps, not look at drawings all day. Jacob’s office _was_ the bedroom, so Rook couldn’t hide in there either. Not when peggies were knocking all day and demanding their Herald’s attention. Rook needed out. He’d never longed so much to go home. 

It had been almost two weeks. He was exhausted from Jacob’s routine. Of course, it was nice to wake up beside someone and have Jacob’s arm around his waist at night. He found that spending time with Jacob was nowhere near as bad as he’d imagined; mostly because when he wasn’t bothering Rook about his leg, he was working quietly at his desk or tending to the peggies’ demands. 

“I’m going now,” Rook announced on the twelfth day after his lesson on tracking deer from the comfort of a desk and not the wilderness. 

He was standing in Jacob’s doorway as the man wrote numbers in a ledger, cataloguing their weekly use of supplies. Rook wasn’t worried, not until Jacob would say something was wrong. Until that day came, Rook let himself relax and left the numbers in Jacob’s care. 

“I said I’m going now,” he repeated when the soldier was ignoring him. There was a Judge curled up at his feet like a dog and _it_ was paying more attention than its handler. 

“I heard you.” Jacob put his pen down. “Are you sure you should be doing that?” 

“Yes, for the love of God, I’m _fine_. Right, I’m taking my bag. I’ll clean your clothes, don’t expect them back soon because I want to stay home for a day or two.” 

Rook crossed the room, reaching under the bed to pull out his bag. At least Jacob didn’t bother hiding it so he was forced to stay. Rook had had a roommate like that once. Horrifying moment in his life. The Judge whined, sniffing in Rook’s direction. 

“Never thought you’d be running towards my brothers. I remember when it was the opposite,” Jacob mused with a smile, petting the wolf’s head and letting it lick his fingers. Runt of the litter, too small to hunt down sinners, but a decent guard dog. A moment of weakness on Jacob’s part had allowed the beast to remain alive. 

“Oh, the good old days. Back when I could shoot you without getting told off and there was Wi-Fi and toilet paper and McDonalds.” Jacob sighed with disappointment. “Uh huh, you keep telling me how good life is nowadays. I’ll be mourning the loss of fast food and Pornhub.” 

“Clearly you miss the useless part of the past.” 

Rook nodded, shouldering his bag. “You bet. Sorry someone of us knew how technology worked, Grandpa.” 

Jacob raised a brow, trying to seem nonchalant as he stood and crowded Rook against the closed door, but Rook knew he was ready to wring his neck. “I’ll be forty-eight in June. I’m not that old. Oh, and by the way, I do know how technology works. I just don’t like using it.” 

“Middle age is old. I’m surprised you can still raise the maypole to be hones-” Jacob’s hand closed over his mouth. Rook kept talking but it made no sense so he stopped. He could bite or lick Jacob’s hand, but that wouldn’t make him pull away. 

“You keep talking, Rookie, but all I hear are reasons to whoop your ass. Maybe you’d like to find just how quick I can get it up.” 

That finally shut Rook up for good. He didn’t even laugh nervously. Jacob smiled, teeth showing like a Judge. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Go on, run home to Joseph. I’m sure he’s dying to see you.” 

Jacob stepped back, letting Rook out of the room. He leaned into the doorway, the Judge padding over and bumping his leg. 

“I’ll be back soon to help out. Just give me a couple of days,” Rook said, glancing down the hallway where a peggie was smoking and blowing the toxic air out the window. He spotted Rook and threw the cigarette away before Jacob could notice it too. 

“I’ll radio in when I need you back. Two days minimum. I want you to be able to walk straight.” 

“I told you, my leg is fine-” 

“Wasn’t talking about your leg.” Jacob reached out and smacked Rook’s ass, startling the young man and making him blush furiously. 

“Oh, right. Okay, good point. I’m gonna go now. I’ll see you later. Bye Jacob. Bye doggie.” Rook headed down the hallway before Jacob could do anything else, passing the smoking peggie on the stairs. 

\--- 

Rook liked the ranch to begin with. The warm colours, the natural scent of the wood, the location itself was stunning, but coming back after _that_ , he almost collapsed in relief. He limped his way to the couch, promptly falling on it and inhaling the leather. 

There was a bark in the back of the garden. God, he’d missed Boomer. The poor dog was probably so confused. Rook whistled loudly, knowing the dog would run through the open door in the hall and come find him. He barely waited a minute before the skittering of claws on the hardwood floor made him look up. A ball of grey and brown leapt up onto the couch and Boomer whined and barked in his ear, licking what he could reach and constantly sniffing to find hints as to where his owner went. 

“Hey, buddy, I’m back. Yeah, you’re a good boy. Have you missed me? I missed you!” Boomer barked in response, his own way of saying yes. Rook grabbed him bodily, cuddling everything as his dog jumped around. 

“Rook, you’re home,” John said brightly, drawn to the noise. He’d come from his office, jogging down the stairs, dressed in dark jeans and a black button-down. “Haven’t seen you in ages. Joseph told me you were hurt. How are you?” 

“I’m good. Freed from Jacob’s clutches at long last. Leg’s still hurting but I can walk decently.” Rook sat up, letting John pull him into a hug. “You busy?” 

“Not really, just looking over some books for Joseph. He wants inspiration for tomorrow’s sermon.” 

“Good. It can wait.” Rook yanked John into his lap, making sure Boomer had enough space on the rest of the couch. “I wanted to say hello properly.” 

John chuckled, making himself comfortable with his knees on either side of Rook’s thighs. He wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling Rook into a soft kiss. He sighed happily, letting Rook’s hands wander across his back. 

“I missed you. My bed’s been very cold without you warming it.” 

“Sorry about that. Want me to make it up to you? Whatever you want...” Rook kissed him deeply, lips moving slowly but consuming him. John’s weight in his lap, the feel of another body against his own... he missed that too. 

“Very tempting. I’d be happy to take you to my room and we can kiss for a while. Joseph is quite busy, so it can just be the two of us.” 

“I’d like that. Come on then, carry me up there.” Rook patted his hip, encouraging John to stand up. He longed for the heat immediately. John just laughed. 

“Carry you? You must be joking. If you weighed a hundred pounds less, maybe. You said it yourself, you can walk.” 

Rook snickered and pushed himself to his feet, wobbling a little. John let him go first up the stairs, in case he needed to catch him. Boomer followed, not realising that John wholly planned on shutting the door. 

“Let him stay, he hasn’t seen me in ages,” Rook argued, watching Boomer shove his way past the ajar door while John hesitated to close it. The dog wanted to jump on the bed but Rook caught him mid-air, Boomer’s legs kicking in confusion, and set him down on the rug. “Stay there. You know you’re not allowed on the furniture.” 

Boomer whined but stayed put, burying his nose in the rug and sniffing at it. Rook climbed on the bed, kicking off one boot and leaning down to get the other one without stretching the injury. It really was healing fine and the tiny stitches were already out days ago. He wasn’t kidding about quick healing. His jacket and belt joined the floor while John was draping his own nicely over a chair. John climbed on, lying beside him and just watching his face. 

“Are you going to kiss me or not?” Rook asked, a little weirded out by John’s dopey eyes and soft smile. 

“Yes, of course, but I just want to look at you for a bit. You’re so handsome.” 

“If you say so.” Rook always thought he was average, like the rest of his life. Toned but not a muscled hunk. Nice jaw, short beard, everything decently proportioned. Nothing like John’s supermodel looks and charm. 

“I do. Come here, gorgeous.” John cupped Rook’s head, pulling him into a kiss. They stayed close, lips moving gently but staying rather tame. 

“Can I be on top?” 

John smiled. “Sure. Just kissing, okay?” 

Rook reassured him with a peck on the nose, climbing over John’s long legs and settling himself in his lap. He braced himself on one elbow and dragged his free hand through John’s long hair, breaking the gel apart. 

“You need a haircut or you’ll resemble Joseph soon.” 

“I know. Find me a decent hairdresser and I’ll have it cut.” John was growing bored of talking. He lurched up against Rook’s mouth, biting his lower lip and sucking it until Rook hissed and kissed back with fervour. 

“I can do it if you want.” 

“Sure, whatever. Less talking, more making out. Missed you so much.” John latched onto him, arms around Rook’s neck so he couldn’t escape. Rook chuckled, letting John take the comfort he needed. 

They stayed like that for ages, wrapped up in each other and never finding reason to pull away and stop. Rook loved every moment and he was painfully hard after a while. He didn’t mention it in case John felt like it was his duty to help. Rook scooted back in John’s lap, found that the Baptist wasn’t suffering the same at all. Some part was a little disappointed but Rook just had to get used to the idea that John didn’t want more than this. In moving, though, John noticed how affected Rook was. 

Against his lips, he purred, “Poor sweetheart, you aching down there?” 

Rook nodded, breathless from their last kiss, his lips red and sensitive from all the biting and sucking they had endured. “A little bit. I’m okay.” 

“I can take care of that-” 

Rook shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Just haven’t been alone for nearly two weeks.” 

John sighed. “You poor thing.” His hand went straight down to Rook’s jeans, palming him and making Rook moan shakily. “Let me. I want to.” 

“Jesus, okay, fine... Do whatever you want but if you need to stop, it’s okay too. I don’t want to push you.” 

John didn’t answer. He unzipped Rook’s jeans and pulled them down mid-thigh, exposing the grey boxers and the damp spot at the tip of his erection. His index finger traced the outline. 

“Didn’t even get five minutes to yourself?” 

“No,” Rook panted, letting John pull his boxer down as well. “Too many people and I shared Jacob’s room the whole time.” 

“Ah yes, the 5.30am routine. He’s never slept in unless hungover. You must be so desperate.” 

“I am.” Rook bucked into John’s hand as his thumb brushed the head. Suddenly he stopped. Rook worried but John was grinning widely, almost predatory. 

“I have an idea. Would you like to use some toys?” 

“Like what?” 

John didn’t say. He carefully made Rook lie down as he went to the wardrobe and grabbed a box from the very back of the top shelf. He threw it down on the bed and Rook noticed there was a lock on it. John had hidden the key behind a framed photograph of a vacation on the beach. John was grinning in it, an arm around a pretty girl and a large guy hugging him from behind. The size of the guy’s muscles made Rook just a tad fearful and he hoped he’d never meet the man and piss him off. But John looked really happy. Something not common in the photos dotted around the house, nothing like his laptop's screensaver. 

Rook was so distracted that he hadn’t noticed John unlocking the box. It was large, needed two hands to carry the weight, but the outside was plain. Rook had seen it when he’d liberated the ranch and thought it likely contained junk. John pushed the box towards Rook, hand going straight for the Deputy’s cock as he sat down again. 

Rook tried to concentrate. He lifted the lid and gasped, a smile growing on his face. Neatly organised and packed tightly in were sex toys. All kinds of sizes and designs. 

“I get the extra security,” Rook said, glancing back at John who nodded sagely. “Do you still use this stuff?” 

“No, I haven’t for a while. The sad thing is I used to have way more. I mean, the collection I had in Atlanta...” He whistled low, making Boomer raise his head. “Intense. Joseph thought he put a stop to all that. I didn’t, _really_ , there’s more in the bunker. My once-favourites. I just... I don’t need them anymore. I don’t know if you want them, kinda seems weird holding on to them. Can’t throw them in the trash either.” 

Rook grabbed something purple. It was heavy, almost resembling a dick. Like an alien dick, with a tube and a pump coming out the bottom. 

“This is a strange gift but I'll take it. Not sure I can use all this or keep it a secret from Joseph.” 

Rook put the alien thingy away, picking up random pieces and examining them. He spotted the usual stuff, rope, handcuffs- not Police issue but still durable- pretty much the reduced contents of an adult store. 

“I’m pretty certain he has a vague idea. I don’t care if you tell him, it’s not like I’m sinning anymore.” 

“Uh huh, not sinning anymore. Dude, what is this? The world’s smallest dildo?” Rook grabbed a metal stick that had little waves in it. It measured the length of his palm but it couldn’t be thicker than his pinkie. 

John laughed, taking it from Rook’s hand. “It doesn’t go in your ass, genius. It goes in here.” He brought the end of the metal to Rook’s limp cock. Without touch and all the distractions, he’d lost his erection. “I believe Boshaw made it quite clear how you’re supposed to use this.” 

Rook immediately went red. As if the box hadn’t fazed him at all but this did. Because Sharky had explained sounding once and not only had that made him hard under the table, but Sharky had been graphic. His cock hardened again quickly. 

“Can I...? I mean, I don’t know if I can just try it like that or-” 

“I’m surprised you’re going right for this. Come sit on my lap, it’s easier access for me.” 

Rook obeyed, no longer interested in the other items. His cock bobbed with the movement and John stroked him, forcing the precum to bead on the slit. He stopped to grab a bottle out of the box, spraying it along the toy. 

“It’s all clean but still, I’d rather be careful,” John said as he disinfected and wiped down the metal and swapped the bottle out for some lubricant. He coated the toy again, dripping the excess on Rook’s cock and massaging it over the head. Rook groaned and rolled his hips into the touch. “Okay, sit still. It’s fine if you don’t like it, personally it’s not my favourite thing. Just take a deep breath.” 

Rook relaxed under John’s hand on his side, rubbing circles and encouraging him to even his breathing. He felt the metal poke at his slit, curious and smooth as it caught the precum and used it to go further. The rod felt suddenly so much bigger than it did in his hand, stretching his hole as John guided it in slowly. It slid in without interruption, until the ball at the end rested just outside. There was a loop for John to crook his finger in and pull it out if necessary. 

“Oh God, that’s weird. I can feel all of it.” 

“No pain?” Rook shook his head. “Good. You’re doing well. I hated my first time but it was a lot bigger than that one.” 

Rook snuck a hand down to grab his cock, squeezing the length. His eyes shot open. “Fuck, that’s hot.” He could feel the hardness of the metal with his fingers. “Can I move it?” 

“I’ll do it for you.” John took the ring between his fingers, pulling the rod halfway out gently. He pushed it back in, starting a slow rhythm. Rook choked out a cry, his arms shaking on John’s chest. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck... Hold it still. I wanna-” Rook adjusted how he sat, putting his weight on his knees so he could roll his hips forward. “Oh John, this feels so fucking good.” 

John held the toy steady as Rook fucked himself on it, his cock dripping wet with precum and pooling it on John’s stomach. He’d had the foresight of lifting up his shirt first so it didn’t get ruined. Rook was moaning loudly, breathless and so close. John kissed him wildly, grabbing a fistful of hair so he could force the man still. Once Rook stopped, his cock twitching around the metal and soaking John’s finger, John used the distraction to grab a vibrator and shoved it beneath the head of Rook’s cock. He kissed him briefly, looking down so he could see his work. The rod moved in and out again but this time, John turned the vibrator on. 

The peggies outside must have heard Rook’s shout as he came, orgasm ripped from him as his cock pulsed and he barely had the reflex to hold himself up. John moved his fingers in time with the slide of the vibrator, up and down the thick ridge of the underside. Cum spurted out around the metal, shooting all up John’s chest and over his hands. The rod slide in even smoother, slick with cum as Rook kept shooting his load until it dripped out lazily. When John pulled it out, taking the vibrator away, he pumped it inside a couple more times to tease the slit. 

Rook waited with half-shut eyes until all the toys were away from his body and then he promptly collapsed on John’s chest. 

“I’ve never come that hard before, holy fuck. That toy’s mine. No argument. Oh fuck...” Rook managed to move his lead-like arm down his body to touch his cock. His hole was so much bigger than usual and so sensitive as he brushed a fingertip over it. “I’m gaping...” 

“I’ll show you what I have in the bunker next time. Take the box, though.” 

“No... keep it here. This can be our thing,” Rook mumbled into John’s neck. “Do you want a hand too?” 

John chuckled and shook his head. “As insanely hot and loud as that was, I’m not hard so no. But thank you for the offer. Do you plan on crushing me to death?” 

“Sorry.” Rook shuffled to the side, still curled up against John. His jeans were still around his thighs, ass bare to the coolness of the room, but he had no strength to pull them up. “Can I sleep a bit? I don’t want to greet Joseph like this.” 

“True, you’re too tempting like that. He’d probably be inside you before he said hello.” John kissed the top of his head and dislodged himself from Rook’s bear grip. 

“I wouldn’t complain.” 

“I’m certain of that. I’m going to clean this up and bring you a fresh shirt. I’ll wake you in time for dinner and you can see Joseph then.” 

Rook was already asleep so he missed all that. John sighed and rolled his eyes, moving to the other side of the bed and avoiding the dog. The items were cleaned, boxed and locked, and returned to their hiding spot so no one would be any wiser. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of the story so far :) It's going to be the longest story I've ever written, surpassing my novel already by hundreds of pages! It's a bit insane but I hope you stick around!!
> 
> (I'm currently away on a well deserved holiday to celebrate my 5 year anniversary with my future-wife so I might not read comments till I'm back after the weekend. That's why the chapter is early too.)


	32. A soldier without a war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one today now that I'm back home.

The smell in the kitchen was divine, wafting up from the stove as Joseph cooked. He hummed to himself, missing the days he could turn the radio on and let the songs guide his thoughts. The sound of claws on the tiles was followed by a friendly bark, and Boomer trotted up to the counter where the meat was seasoned and waiting to be thrown in the pan.

“Down,” Joseph said curtly, knowing the dog would half listen if he was lucky. In the end, he moved the tray to his counter so Boomer definitely couldn’t get to it. 

“You can’t train him. I’ve tried.”

Joseph spun around, startled by Rook’s voice. “You’re home.” Joseph pulled him into his arms, holding Rook close and dragging a hand through his hair. “When did you get back?”

“This afternoon. I spent the time with John. He said you were super busy and I didn’t want to interrupt,” Rook added quickly when Joseph’s expression fell. “How have you been?”

“Good. Busy, indeed. And you?” Joseph pulled away so the food didn’t burn. He added the meat and  it sizzled loudly in the oil. 

“I’m alright. I kept myself working, there’s kids at the centre who need training and I’ve been teaching them the whole time. Cute bunch but smart and quick. It’s been eventful.”

“Well you’re home now. Dinner is almost ready, please sit.” Rook did as  told but only once he had helped to lay out the table. “Oh, could  you add another plate? We’re having a guest tonight.”

“Who is it?” Rook grabbed extra cutlery, brushing his hand over Joseph’s back lovingly as he passed. Joseph briefly melted into the touch.

“Do you remember me telling you about that baptism? Her name’s Charlotte. Bright girl, might have a future among the Heralds.”

“Another Faith?” Rook frowned. He knew people still joined the cult willingly but did they need another person in charge? 

“Maybe. I haven’t had a chance to speak with her alone yet. I wanted to take the time tonight but I’d much rather you were here. I’d like your input as well.”

Rook sat down and Boomer laid at his feet. He wanted to say something else, to ask why Joseph was willing to divulge cult secrets, but a woman knocked on the kitchen door. 

“Hello, I hope I’m not too early.”

“Not at all. The meal is almost ready, take a seat. Rook, this is Charlotte. Rook is my other half.”

Charlotte smiled and shook Rook’s hand, though the man was still  trying to wrap his head around Joseph’s comment. Were they announcing it these days? Still,  it made him smile like a lovesick fool. Which he was, wholeheartedly. 

“It’s lovely to meet you, Rook. I’ve heard many stories about you.”

She sat down opposite Rook, smoothing down her dress. It was white with a long sheer skirt and  embroided bustier with tiny pearls. It seemed every Faith was to wear white. A matching bolero covered her tanned shoulders and Rook tried not to stare at her cleavage. 

“Nice to meet  you too , Charlotte. Joseph tells me you joined the Project recently?” 

“Yes, the Father kindly took me in just a short while ago.”

Joseph brought the plates over and Rook’s mouth watered. He waited until his partner had sat down with them but instead of starting to eat, Joseph held his hands out. Charlotte  immediately took one, closing her eyes. Rook frowned, unsure what was happening. He grabbed Joseph’s other hand and the preacher nodded approvingly.

“ Bless us, O Lord, and these, t hy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen.” 

“Amen,” Charlotte repeated softly before opening her eyes and letting her hand drop. 

Joseph finally began eating, ignoring the confusion from Rook. He’d never said grace  around him  before. Was this a new thing they were doing now? The meal was wonderful regardless. 

“So, Charlotte,” Rook began, “What brought you to Eden’s Gate?”

Charlotte put down her fork, for a moment nervous to speak. Joseph waited patiently for her answer but it seemed like he knew already.

“I grew up in a Catholic family but after a while, I stopped believing in God. I admit, I sinned. When the bombs fell, I knew that it was God’s judgement and I knew I needed to do better. There was only one place I thought to go to when I had come to that conclusion and that was here. The Father listened to me and he invited me to his sermons. After a while, I felt like I belonged here , ” she admitted shyly, looking down at her plate. “I want to help heal the world. There’s so much that I can offer and I think this is the place for that change. The Father was right, after all.”

“And what is it that you can do?” Rook realised that it sounded rude, the way he phrased it, and Joseph did scowl at him.  Charlotte didn’t seem to notice or care.

“I was a licensed psychiatrist in Bozeman up until two years ago, and then I chose to become a  nurse. Everyone needs someone to talk to. It’s natural to seek guidance and peace, whether that’s through prayer or counselling.”

Rook nodded slowly. She wasn’t wrong. 

\---

After dinner, Charlotte disappeared upstairs to one of the guest rooms she’d been staying in. Joseph had wanted to keep a close eye on her. As Rook washed the dishes, the preacher came to his side.

“What do you think of her?”

Rook put a cup on the side, shaking off the suds from his fingers. “She seems okay. The shrink part will help. God knows how many people have trauma around here, especially outside the  project . If she can help with the peace treaty, then I guess I’m cool with her becoming a Herald. But don’t you think that turning her into Faith- won't it be harder to convince the resistance to talk to her? I mean, we all know what Faith was before, how she poisoned people’s minds. Going around saying there’s a new Faith, I don’t know how people will take it.”

“ So what are you proposing instead?” 

Rook  finished the last bits of cutlery and dried his hands, leaning back against the island counter. Joseph mirrored him, arms crossed and his hair tied back neatly. Rook had always put in his two cents concerning the cult, usually to ward Joseph off from his past mistakes, but this was really taking the whole shared leadership idea to the next level.

“She’s part of the cult. There’s no taking that back and she wants to be here. We can’t pass her off as a neutral party like I am. Maybe giving her  a place she can stay and work in, attracting both cultists and non-cultists, might work better. Hear me out, she gets a house with a couple guards, of course, but  it’s in between the main outposts. Sort of like Fall’s End. Neutral ground, no cult. If people have somewhere peaceful to go, it will be easier to convince them to go.”

Rook could picture it. A cute house, flowers growing wildly and untamed, maybe a dog to lighten the mood. They could use her to sort out Jacob’s problem. She’d be the voice of reason- known by the locals but an ally to both sides.

“It could work,” Joseph finally said, breaking into Rook’s thoughts. He was rubbing his jaw absentmindedly. “I can find her a house and send her into Fall’s End to start telling people about her work.”

“You weren’t kidding about leading with me, were you?” 

Joseph flicked his gaze up to Rook. “You would’ve made a great Herald, loved and feared equally.” The preacher took a step forward,  reaching out to take Rook’s face in his hands. “I always wanted you to share this world with me, from the moment I met you. You were destined to be here.”

“Who says I’d take orders?” Rook’s hands grabbed Joseph’s hips, where his white clerical shirt was tucked into black jeans. “Offer me a taste of the Kingdom and I’ll take it from you,” he teased, leaning up to kiss Joseph’s parted lips.

“It’s good to have you home, my dearest,” Joseph spoke between kisses, pushing Rook further back until the Deputy climbed on the counter top. He spread his legs to accommodate Joseph’s body between them and he squeezed the preacher’s sides, enjoying the warmth spreading there.

“I’m sorry I left without saying much. When Nick was brought here, he told me  Sharky had spoken to him some time ago. He’d said he’d come back to the bunker if he ever needed to and when Grace came just after, I just...”

“They’re living in our bunker now, aren’t they? The two ladies.”

“Yeah, they needed a home and it means the fish will get fed and I don’t know- I don’t want that bunker to be empty. Doesn’t feel right, you know, when it was a home for us too.”

“It holds a lot of memories,” Joseph agreed, tilting Rook’s forehead down to his own and simply staying together. Gentle and calm, what Rook loved and longed for.

“After I dropped them off, I had to walk back here. But I knew I needed a break.”

“From me?” 

Rook bit his lip, staying still when he wanted to nod because he loved when Joseph held him. “Yeah. Sounds shitty to say but yes, I needed a break from you. From John as well, and Jacob, but that didn’t happen.”

“I’ve been told I can be intense sometimes. I am sorry for the hurt I’ve caused you. It was never my intention, I just wish there was a way I could make it up to you.”

“I know, and I’ll be okay. It’s been difficult, trying to figure out what it is I want.  It was hard enough coming to grips with loving several people at once without adding in all this mess. And then Jacob asked me what my purpose was and I blanked. You know, for years I was a soldier. And then a cop, and then a soldier again. I’ve been fighting my whole life- some fights I started myself. But now, there is no fight.” 

“I don’t believe I ever told you what happened after I found Jacob the first time.”

Rook shook his head. He’d read the book in his spare time during the last few months but that was the truth Joseph was willing to tell the world, and certainly not every part was included. 

“John and I brought him home and for weeks, neither of us could leave him alone in the apartment. We were  scared he’d take his life or forget to eat or sleep. He went days without showering, he stayed in his room until he starved. John and I were terrified we’d lose him again;  so while John worked, I took care of Jacob. I made sure he took his medication, that he ate and kept the food down. When he was rest less, I offered him a spot beside me in my bed and I talked to him until he fell asleep.

“For weeks this went on. I put everything on hold for my brother until I knew I could leave him alone during the day. When he started getting better, I showed him my plans. I talked about the Voice and Eden. He laughed at me but I wasn’t offended. Jacob had seen the worst of humanity during his tours, he’d done monstrous acts in order to survive- He thought God had abandoned him, but I showed him the truth. I showed him his place at my side, his purpose.”

Joseph paused, licking his lips, and looked up to the ceiling. There were unshed tears in his eyes but a tiny smile lifting on corner of his mouth.

“He was scared at first. That he would mess it all up or disappoint me but as time went on and he helped me rally people to our cause, Jacob understood his purpose. He was my sentinel, my guardian. When I stretched myself thin with work, he ended up caring for me in return. When John lost sight of his path and fell back into his substance abuse, Jacob was right there beside me to make sure John would live to see the next day.”

Rook was trying to stay composed. He’d known their stories but to hear Joseph’s struggles, the love he had for his family so clear in his voice- Rook wanted to gather the siblings together and find a way to heal them. He settled for taking Joseph’s hands, that had been fidgeting with the cord around his wrist, and rubbing the knuckles with his thumbs.

“Everyone has their purpose, Rook. It varies with time. One day, you’re a soldier. The next, a police officer. And the day after that, who knows? Don’t get caught up with what you should and shouldn’t be. People aren’t one thing alone, they change constantly. Tell me, what do you want in life?”

Rook shrugged. It wasn’t an easy answer. Jacob had asked the same and he’d been unable to really know. “I don’t know what I want.” 

“It’s alright not to know. Let’s try this then, do you have anything in life right now that makes you truly happy?”

“Yes. I... I have you. A family who loves me. I’ve got my dog and most of my friends are alive. People aren’t killing each other and I don’t...” Rook paused, because he was going to say  something he’d never thought was possible. “I don’t have to fight anymore.” It felt so good to say it.

“You hate conflict and all you want is peace. It’s why you keep going back to the same environments, the same jobs. That’s your purpose, Rook.”

“To be a freedom fighter?”

“I think you’ll do anything to achieve peace and freedom. You don’t need to be ashamed of that. But you need to think about what you can do with that knowledge.”

Rook sighed. He didn’t want to fight anymore and no one was  asking him to but Rook knew if someone handed him a gun and pointed him in one  direction, he’d go to war.

“Jacob wants me to train recruits and Staci is thinking about rebuilding the police.”

“And can you see yourself doing either of those things again? You’ve been a soldier and an officer. Do you want to do it again?”

“I’m the most qualified-” 

Joseph frowned. “That’s not what I asked.”

The thing was that Rook could go for either just as easily as he could strip a rifle to its core in his sleep . Staci was right to bring back the law, with so many people and liberty to roam freely, they needed it. Jacob was right to teach survival to the fortunate few. Rook was over-qualified for both positions. What Joseph was asking was if Rook truly wanted to go back out there.

“What’s the alternative? Househusband? Helping you light candles for the sermon? I’m good at what I do, Joseph. That’s fighting at whatever cost to bring peace. You’re right. I can do it again.”

“Because you want to? Or because people have asked you to? You went around fulfilling everybody’s needs in the past. Do what feels right for you, not others.”

“I want to,” Rook admitted at last. 

He could be a cop again, to wear the badge and be respected. It was different now. There wouldn’t be a court of judges or senators monitoring their actions, no media to keep appeased or forms to fill out for some other county station. It would just be Hope County’s Sheriff Station. Just his little group going around, making sure everything was running smoothly.  It wasn’t fighting.

“I want to,” he said again, seizing Joseph’s shoulders to pull him into a deep kiss. He thanked him over and over again in his mind, portraying it through the way his lips moved and his breath hitched. “I love you. I love you so much. You were right, we need each other. How the hell did I survive without you this whole time?”

“I love you too. Come on, I think we should go to bed. It’s late.” 

Joseph stepped back to let Rook off the counter, letting him slide off into his open arms. He embraced his partner, kissing his forehead and sighing happily. Rook stayed there for a long moment, enjoying the warmth and lingering relief from their talk. He hadn’t realised how much stress it was putting on him but he was glad to have a solution.

“Where are we sleeping tonight?”

“Downstairs. My room is a mess, I’d rather you didn’t see it. Why don’t you head down while I go find John?”

“Oh, yes. Okay. Boomer, come on buddy. It’s bed time.” 

The dog lazily got up. It had been bed time for Boomer a good while ago and now the rabbits in his dreams had run off. He trotted up to the two, barging between the humans’ legs on his way towards the cupboard door. Rook joined him a minute later to open it, letting the dog run down excitedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up will be a Staci chapter. Prepare your tissues.
> 
> Let me know what you think of the story so far!


	33. Pick up the phone

The grass was growing back in the Henbane region. Most of the trees were still blackened husks but nature was reclaiming its hold. With the sun shining and a  blue sky stretched wide, dotted with puffy white clouds, Staci rolled the window of his car down and let his arm rest there as he drove. April was warming the air so he ditched the heavy jacket and settled for a grey hoodie and hitched up the baggy sleeves.

He’d taken one of  Wheaty’s cassette tapes and the old guitar notes drifted from the car’s player. It was peaceful as he headed to the Sheriff’s station where it sat just a little beyond Fall’s End. The car park was empty and a heavy chain on the front doors. The windows were boarded up and white  graffiti had been sprayed over them. 

_ Sinners.  _

_ Die Pigs!!  _ _You will burn for your sins_

_ God will strike you down. _

Eden’s Gate’s cross was painted over the department sign above the doors and there was a burn mark stretching high along one wall where a  Molotov had been thrown. Staci knew a bit of paint and elbow grease could get rid of the mess. He grabbed a duffel bag from the passenger seat and took a pair of pliers out. The door slammed with creaky hinges as he got out to cut the chain. It clattered to the floor and he kicked it away. He had a key inside his pocket.

Staci could hardly see in the dark. The only light came from the doorway so he shined a torch across the entrance hall. The reception desk was dusty and covered in whatever Nancy had been working on. Fucking Nancy. 

He walked around the building, checking the main office where the Deputies had worked. All their abandoned  paperwork , the Seed family pinned to the corkboard, and the warrant they had printed out for Joseph Seed. Staci went to his desk, sitting in the spinning chair that couldn’t move up or down. He’d once swapped it with Rook’s, hoping the newbie would get annoyed with his knees hitting the desk. 

His junk was still in the drawers; wrappers, reports he promised he’d finish filing, dried out markers, the occasional birthday card from his  co-workers that he never got  around to taking home. He hadn’t thought about home in a long time. The last time he’d stepped into his tiny apartment was back in early September. Eight months ago.

After Rook’s visit to the Den and his discovery of non-toxic air, Staci didn’t even think of going home. He had been too caught up in supporting the survivors, too stressed and unable to unwind, to even consider it. Maybe he should. It was safe after all. The Den was running smoothly under Earl and Tammy’s rule, the survivors had relocated, and Hudson had already moved out to her old place.

He checked the armoury next. With the defences keeping the cult out, the  weapons and riot gear were still stored in their cases. They didn’t need any for the moment since everyone and their mom had a rifle for each hand but the bullet-proof vests and helmets might come in handy. But he wasn’t here for that. 

Earl had sent him down to check on the building itself, whether they could use it again or needed to find a new location for the department. Power could be re-routed here too, especially since most of the town’s wiring had been charged up. Staci took one last look around before going to the changing rooms. The women’s one was only ever used by Nancy and Joey, every other officer was male. At least the girls had more space and privacy.

He went to his locker, curious whether he’d left anything there. He had. There was a black rucksack filled with his casual clothes and his phone and wallet.  Of course, the battery was dead but he kept it. He had decent photos on there and the memories of his old life were precious to him. He didn’t have a lot left. Staci shouldered the bag and left, heading down to the reception.

There was a noise in the main office, like someone closed a drawer. Staci was on high alert. He rested the bag down and snuck closer to the open door to peer in. There was no one inside. He was just jumpy, that’s all. He made a move to grab his bag but there was another noise, coming from down the hall.

Staci followed it, clinging to the walls. Whoever was here with him wasn’t trying hard to stay quiet. Maybe they’d seen the freed doors and were searching for him, hoping for a quick kill and decent loot. Staci wasn’t about to let that happen. He heard one more noise, so close now that he knew just where they had to be standing. He spun around the doorway, raising the kn ife from his thigh holster, and grabbed  t h e i n t r u d e r b y t h ei r ja c k e t .

“The fuck?!” They yelled as Staci threw them down to the ground , his arm up in the air to sink the blade. 

He had to survive. He had to be strong. 

He wasn’t weak. 

He wasn’t weak!! 

“Staci, stop! It’s me! It’s Joey,” the intruder yelled in his face, struggling under his weight on their chest.

All he saw was a threat he had to get rid of. The knife wouldn’t go down, he couldn’t stab them. It wasn’t resistance on his part, no, they were gripping his wrist. Too distracted by the discovery, it left him open for the intruder to punch him hard enough to dislodge him. They scrabbled up and tackled Staci down, wrestling for the knife on the floor. Staci just had to reach a little further, his fingertips brushing the handle, but the intruder kicked it away.

“Enough! For fuck’s sakes, look at me,” they kept yelling, slapping Staci across the face. “It’s me, it’s me...” 

Staci lunged out but the intruder kicked him down, forcing him to his knees. He felt cold steel around his wrists as they were pulled together but that didn’t stop him rolling onto his back and throwing a leg out, hitting the intruder in the stomach. They gasped in pain, recoiling only for a moment before holding Staci’s legs down and sitting on his knees. Their weight was unmovable as Staci struggled, bucking his hips and trying hard to dislodge the intruder.

Their hands were on his face, stroking his hair and he could hear how their breath hitched with sobs. 

“You’re  gonna be okay. I promise.”

The intruder brought their face close, their intent unclear to Staci but he saw the long stretch of their exposed throat. Tear it out, his mind screamed. Kill them! Kill them now! He brought his head up, ready to clamp his teeth on their throat and to feel the h ot flow of blood. They pulled back in time to save themselves and Staci saw the fist that knocked him out.

“Here. Drink this.” 

A bottle was pushed against his dry lips and Staci wanted to pull away, but water dripped into his mouth and he was quickly gulping it down. His eyes cracked open and he saw Joey squatting in front of him, a frown on her face and a bruise forming on her cheek. Her knuckles were split and she had blood on her lip. 

“Joey? What happened?” 

“You happened, Stace. You tried to stab me...” She wasn’t angry but her voice was thick with remorse and sympathy. “I had to knock you out.”

All Staci remembered was a noise in the office. The rest wouldn’t come to mind. What the hell was he doing coming out here alone? He wasn’t fit for that. He could have killed Joey. Oh God-

“I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t- I wasn’t in control... I don’t even remember it happening,” he blurted out, tears in his eyes as he really looked at the  damage he’d inflicted. He wanted to reach out and make it all better but he knew the opposite would happen. Everything he touched broke. He was broken.

“I’m not weak, I’m not weak...” He mumbled through his sobs, curling up into a ball against the desk he was handcuffed to. Vaguely, he felt Joey’s hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him.

“I know you’re not. Come on, let’s get you back to the Den-”

“No. I can’t. Not like this. I want to go home. Please.” Staci needed to be alone, away from people because he was a danger to everyone. A bomb ready to explode.

“Okay, Stace... If I uncuff you, you won’t- I mean, you feel normal again, right?”

God, Joey was scared of him.  She had every right to be. Her hands hovered on the cuffs and Staci wanted to tell her to just go, leave him to rot so no one could be exposed to him ever again. 

“I won’t.”

The key twisted in the lock and she pulled the cuffs off, taking a couple steps back immediately. Staci stayed on the floor until he thought it was okay to get up, which he did slowly. He grabbed his discarded bag by the reception desk on his way out and got into the car and just sat there. Joey was watching him for a moment before she convinced herself to come up to him.

“Stace, are you sure you should be alone right now?”

“I can’t be near people. Not right now. I won’t- I’m not  gonna slash my wrists, Joey. Okay, I just need some time to calm down. Haven’t had that since Jacob... I’ll radio you when I’m better. Tell Earl the station can be used again.” 

He started up the engine and Joey stepped aside with a nod, frown deeply etched into her brow as she watched him drive away. He almost took the road up to the Whitetails before he remembered he wanted to go home. Right turn  instead of left.

His apartment was in a housing estate, all bricks and fancy exteriors. The inside was  mouldy , cold, and uncared for. While most of the places he’d lived in had upgraded to electronic systems, his landlord had preferred the ‘key under the mat’ method and always left the door unlocked anyways. Staci had hated every moment of living here but for once, he was grateful to have a simple lock that didn’t require electricity. 

He turned the key in his door, letting himself into the overcrowded  two-bedroom shithole he could hardly afford. Food was long since rotten in the fridge and counters. It stank worse than before. Staci lived like a pig, he was willing to admit that as he looked at the pizza boxes stacked by the overflowing trash and the dirty  laundry he’d thrown around his bedroom. The sheets were crumpled and there was dust everywhere. His old uniform was laid out over the back of his gaming chair and Staci touched the clean fabric. He’d forgotten how bright the green shirt was. All he had was the one Jacob had captured him in, stained with blood and dirt and whatever else had gotten on him during his time in the cages and training rooms. No amount of soap could clean that shirt now, but at least he had this one. It made him feel a little better.

He went to try the shower but only cold water spewed out. It was better than nothing and he was used to it. He stripped down and tried to scrub his skin raw, at some point the pain numbed with the cold. Staci just wanted to be normal. He thought the worse had passed, that he was getting better. Jacob didn’t have such a strong effect on him anymore.  Why couldn’t he just be normal? 

The water spluttered and ran out, dripping down the drain. At least he’d managed to clean himself, hair included, in that time. He towelled off roughly and threw on whatever was soft and clean from his chest of drawers. 

The sheets were pulled off the bed and replaced by clean linen, the kind he never used unless his mom visited. She wasn’t going to again. Staci pulled the curtains so the room was almost dark and grabbed his bag, fishing for his phone. He always kept a portable battery with him, just in case he got stranded. It sat on his desk so he grabbed it and laid down on his bed, plugging his phone in. After a minute, he turned it on and was greeted by the cheerful little tune. 

He had so many notifications pop up. Not that he could open most of the apps with internet but he had several texts and voicemails. He thumbed the text app. So many people had tried to reach him.

Joey, Earl, his mom, his step-dad, a handful of friends he kept in contact with; all of them asking where he was or if he was available for a shift next S aturday . Joey had wanted to swap so she could visit her brother in Bozeman, and Earl had allowed it. It just never happened. 

His mom had sent him twelve messages from the day of his kidnapping to the day the bombs fell. She never texted, not unless it was an emergency. He had told her about the arrest they were making, the big one that would promote him to another county, maybe even a city. Staci scrolled through them.

“Hey kiddo, so tell me! How did it go?”

“Staci why aren’t you picking up your phone?”

_ Pick up your phone – 09.37am 03/09 _

“Staci, where are you? Just tell me you’re safe. Please.”

“Baby please just tell me you’re okay. I called the department and no one’s answering. Call me back baby.”

“I saw it on the news. They’re going to kill everyone. Staci, wherever you are, if you can read this, go hide underground.” 

“The President just launched the nukes. The alert is on everyone’s phones. Staci, I love you so much. I hope you’re okay.  Matt is here with me. We love you so much. I’m so proud of you baby. Dad would have been proud of you too.” 

_ Bye Staci. Your mom and dad love you so much. 15.01pm 28/09 _

Staci stopped listening to the messages. The screen had blurred through his tears.

“I love you too, mom,” he whispered as he clutched his phone. He wiped the tears away and decided to go through his camera gallery, looking through what used to be a normal life before the Seeds and the nukes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tissues, anybody?   
> I needed them writing this.


	34. Home of the Hope County Cougars

The Den was  quiet as Staci jogged down the stairs, ready to face Whitehorse and explain his absence. He’d show him the phone, never talk about the incident with Hudson.  Tammy was in the surveillance room, making notes on provisions, when Staci walked in. She glanced up, a frown growing so deep she’d likely look that way for the rest of her days, and put her pen down.

“Where were you? Earl’s been worrying about you.”

Staci had practiced what to say to the Sheriff, not her, so his brain stammered. “I... uh, I needed to be alone. I’m back now. It’s okay-”

“No, it’s not.”  She stood, her chair scraping on the concrete. “Four days you were gone. Four days I had one of my best guys missing and not answering his radio! What the hell happened? Was  it Jacob? I’m going to rip-”

“It’s not him,” Staci interrupted, a little overwhelmed by her quick, loud words. “I found my phone... at the station.”

“So what?” And then her expression softened and her eyes darted as she truly looked at him, seeing the dark bags under his eyes, the redness of them, the stiffness in his posture. 

“My mom, she, uh... left me messages.” Staci grabbed his phone from his jeans, holding it out for Tammy. She put her hand over his, pushing it away from her.

“No, it’s okay. It’s meant for you. I don’t need to read it.” She sighed deeply and reached out to squeeze his shoulder, hesitating a moment before pulling him in. “Sorry for being such a  hard-ass . You know I worry about you, Stace, ever since you came to us.” 

She rubbed his back, trying to remember what it felt like to hug her own son. He’d been taller, built like a tank with his wrestling and football. There was a part of her that could never forgive him for joining the cult but God, she wished for nothing more than for her little boy to walk through those doors. But she had  Wheaty and now Staci as well. Two damaged people without parents, and they did a decent job filling the hole her son left in her heart. 

Staci pulled away, shaking a bit. “I’m sorry for disappearing. I told Joey I needed a break but I didn’t think about you guys too.”

“It’s... well, it’s not alright, but at least you’re safe and sound. You go on to Earl now.” 

She stepped back and let Staci head towards the back of the bunker.  She shook her head, frown present again. One of these days, she was bound to see Jacob and she wasn’t sure she could handle it herself considering the crap he put her through. Her son had gone straight to his Chosen, her husband died fighting the cult, and Tammy- She swore that haunting tune still whispered between the trees and mountain peaks. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for Staci.

\---

The Sheriff was chatting with Joey in his office when Staci knocked on the door. The old man smiled and waved him in, gesturing at the couch along the wall by the weakly-spinning fan and stacks of books on agriculture, sustainable living, and all sorts of topics Staci knew nothing about. 

“Joey, could you give us a moment?” Earl said, taking his feet off the desk as he watched Staci take a seat.

“Yeah, of course. Glad to have you back, Stace.” Joey smiled softly at Pratt before shutting the door behind her. She had seemed tired but that was always the case with so much to do and so little time. No one had gotten a decent night’s sleep since the cult began their reaping.

Staci could barely smile back. He hadn’t realised just how difficult it would be to come here, to know that she hid the bruises well but there was stiffness in her movements. He had a job to do, though, and his moping around and self-deprecation could wait until later. 

“Joey told me you scoped out the station like I asked and then bolted,” Earl began, pouring coffee out of a flask into an old canary-yellow mug. He passed it to Staci. “I know you, kid, and despite what you’re lived through, I know you don’t just run off without a word.”

Staci took a drink before taking his phone out, unlocking it, and leaving it on Earl’s desk. In his mind, part of him thought it was cruel to make Earl read what his mom had sent and to make him believe that’s what had caused his break. But Staci needed this job and the people around him to think he was normal and functioning like everyone else. He didn’t want to be shunned or treated like he was made of glass. Or worse, to kick him out in fear he’d turn against them. He knew what happened to Eli, what Rook was brainwashed to do- They'd think Staci would do the same.

Earl was reading the texts, thankfully not playing the m essages aloud. Staci knew word for word what his mom had said. He’d listened to them for hours just to remember her voice. After a few minutes, the Sheriff handed the phone back. 

“She was a good woman, your mom. I remember she used to come by and say hello on her days off, brought the team homemade cakes. She was a treasure.” He paused out of respect, smiling to himself at the good old days. And then he stopped smiling and fixed his stare on Staci. “I need to know something, Pratt. Are you fit for duty?”

“Yes,” Staci answered immediately. 

“We’ve checked out the station and I’ve got a couple guys working on the power. We should be operational by the end of the week. I’ve got Hudson,  Wheaty , and myself right now. That’s not enough to cover the county. I’d prefer to stay here, keep an eye on things with Tammy. As much as I want as many hands as possible, I need people I can trust. Staci, I’m not  gonna lie to you. You’ve been through Hell and asking you to take up a gun and protect others, it’s a lot.”

“I can do it. I kept my badge for a reason.” It sat in the inner breast pocket of his coat. 

Earl sighed but he couldn’t argue the point further. He didn’t know about the incident and Staci had to keep it that way. 

“Alright. In that case, I need you  to scope out more applicants. I don’t want another Davies or Hall. They were useless in the field.”

“Does it have to be our guys only? You know Jacob’s been training everybody up at the hospital.  There are cultists out there capable of doing the job.” 

Earl considered it, which was more than Staci expected. “Okay, but whoever you find goes straight to me. I might not sit in the station but I’m still in charge. Has Rook said anything about joining the ranks again?”

“He’s been training people with Jacob lately, mostly resistance and kids. I’m not sure, I'll drop by and ask.”

“Good. I also need someone to check out the prison. Take Rook if you can."

"Yes Sir."

"I’ll leave this in your hands then, Pratt.” 

Staci knew this was his cue to leave, so he finished the cold drops of coffee and left the mug on the desk. With his phone tucked safely in his jeans, he headed out to find recruits. As he passed  Wheaty in the hall, the kid was trying to fit into a Deputy’s uniform. The green shirt was snug as he tried to button it over his tee and some other kid beside him was laughing. 

“ Yo , Stace! Check this out,”  Wheaty exclaimed with a grin, extending his arms to the side. The buttons were barely keeping the fabric together but other than that, he looked decent. “I’m one of you guys now!”

“You still have to earn the badge, kiddo,” Staci replied, patting his chest where the metal was sitting against his heart. He was so grateful Jacob had slowly giving them back instead of burning them with the rest of his victims’ belongings. “Maybe get a size up too.”

The other kid burst into laughter again, loud and high pitched. Staci patted  Wheaty’s shoulder on the way out, just a tad proud of the kid’s immeasurable efforts. He was on his way to leader, quickly gaining respect from the county. If he became a cop, that  would only give  Wheaty more chances to grow. He’d be in  charge of the Wolf’s Den in no time.

\---

Hope  County State Prison was still a cluttered mess of burnt cars and hastily made defences. Blankets draped over the cell doors to  mimic privacy, crates of ammo stacked in the watchtowers, and puddles of used bullets spilled across the yard. 

It stood, seemingly abandoned, in the  barren  wasteland with a bright blue sky above. A few birds were returning and their tweets and chirps echoed around the hills, interrupted by the engine of a Jeep making its way up the slope to the front gates. 

Rook slammed the door as he got out, black  denim shirt fluttering in the breeze as he adjusted his cap. He pushed back the long curling strands and stuffed his cap over them, letting the hair curl around his ears rather than bother his sight. He glanced at Staci through his blue aviators, waiting until the  other  Deputy had sorted himself out before approaching the prison.

He’d briefly scoped through the place with  Sharky months ago but had come up empty. This time, there was something off about it.

“Stay close,” he said to Staci as he opened the side door where there had once been a weapons shop run by resistance members.

He walked around the edge of the inner courtyard, glancing up the floors and trying to see into the cells. The blankets hid some from view and Rook felt like stepping in the centre was a bad choice. He’d learned to listen to his sixth sense.

Staci was behind him, hands on his service pistol aimed towards the ground, but he looked tense as well. When Earl had radioed in about needing a clear-out team, Rook volunteered. He needed another scenery than the hospital and the ranch. 

Rook was checking around the corner to a long corridor when Staci tapped his shoulder. He glanced back and Staci was pointing back towards the courtyard.

“I heard something. We’re not alone. What’s the plan?” 

“Let’s find a way up to the top, so we can check it out from above. If there’s people, we need to know who they are  first. ” Rook gripped his rifle tighter, checking that the safety was off. “If they shoot at us, get to cover and let me handle it.”

Staci nodded and followed Rook up the stairs they had passed a moment prior, up towards the second level of cells. He was darting his eyes across the open walkway, scanning for any movement. He’d definitely heard noises coming from above them.

A bullet  ricocheted off the wall a metre from Rook’s head, a warning shot at best. 

“Get the fuck out of my prison, you fucking  Peggies !” A woman yelled from the third level but neither men could see her.

Rook threw himself behind some crates, pulling Staci against him to avoid the gunfire. “We’re not  Peggies ! I’m Deputy Rook, I’m with the resistance.”

Her answer was another bullet fired much closer. It impacted against the crate they hid behind, splintering the wood but not going all the way through.

“Stop shooting! We’re not here to hurt you-” 

She shot again but this time Staci was ready to fire back. He almost did but Rook shoved his hand over Staci’s and forced the gun down, glaring at him. 

“No, we’re not killing her. We can talk this out.”

Staci opened his mouth to argue but their problem beat him to it.

“Go get them, Peaches,” the woman yelled out and Rook heard the familiar cry of a cougar. He saw  an orange blur bolt down the walkway, heading straight for them but the animal stopped short when Rook called out its name.

“Hey, Peaches, It’s me. It’s Rook, you remember me?” 

The cougar bared its fangs but Rook knew she’d already have attacked them if she planned on it. The big cat cried out nervously, sniffing the air. Rook held out his hand, still in cover, and let her approach on her own terms. The woman above them was getting worried.

“What the fuck did you do to my cat?” 

“Peaches belongs to me,” Rook yelled back, and the cougar leaned her head into his palm. She thankfully remembered him and purred, gaining confidence as Rook cooed at her and scratched behind her ears. “I told you, I’m Deputy Rook. I freed the county from the cult.”

“I don’t give a shit who you are, get out of my prison!”

“I can’t do that. We need it for our people. The whole county- it's alive. The world isn’t over like we thought it was. Listen, let’s talk. Face to face. No guns.”

“You saying there’s others?”

Rook rolled his eyes. She was grating on his nerves, never quite listening or taking in what he said. The sooner they could get the prison back, the sooner Rook could be far from her. Peaches  was curled up beside his feet, purring, and it helped calm him.

“Yes, there’s others.  So, can we please talk like civilised people?”

There was a pause and Rook glanced back at  Staci . He was nervous around the cougar but even he could see how harmless she was when Rook cuddled her. But Staci wasn’t about to reach out and pet her head. 

“Alright, fine. I’ll meet you on the ground floor. You pull any shit and I’ll shoot your goddamn balls off.” 

Rook slowly raised himself up out of cover. When no shots were fired, he took Staci’s hand and pulled him up. Peaches rubbed her head on his knees and followed down the stairs, ignoring Staci as she tried to get more cuddles from her friend. Rook had missed her, but like Boomer he’d thought she’d be dead. Boomer had been with an ally at the time but Peaches was wandering by herself in the woods close to Joseph’s island. 

He waited with Staci, leaning back against a support pillar as the cougar sniffed around the cells. She stayed close and trotted back to his side when they heard footsteps descending down the metal stairs.  Their shooter wasn’t  quiet about it, making her way down noisily until she came into Rook’s sight.

She had dark skin, a hoodie pulled over her long hair and a sour expression on her face- Rook recognised her. She’d been there when he’d been rescued from the bliss. They hadn’t exchanged more than a few words.

She finally reached the courtyard, gun in her hands but not raised at them.  She glared, taking a few more steps but not willing to close the whole distance. 

“You were with Virgil,” Rook said, not moving either. His rifle was shouldered but Staci still had his handgun out just in case. 

She scoffed. “Virgil’s dead. What do you want with my prison?”

“We’re restoring the county. We need this place.” Rook wasn’t about to tell her everything. She wasn’t ready to hear it, let alone give Rook the benefit of the doubt.

“You locking up  Peggies ?”

“Sure. Look, the police force is being built up again. We’ve got people who can provide power and clean water here.” 

She took a few steps closer, heavy boots stamping on the concrete. Peaches flattened her ears. They weren’t  friends . The cougar only tolerated the woman because she fed her. 

“And if I say no?”

Rook was taught to keep a straight face, never to let people get under his skin. He was terrible at  it but as an officer, there was a certain behaviour check required. Although he  wanted to tell her to fuck herself and get out, he couldn’t say that.

“Then you’re in the way of progress and I can’t have that. The people of Hope County need the prison. One way or another, you’re going to give it to me.”

She barked out a laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I’m Deputy Rook. The one guy the resistance couldn’t live without.” He pushed away from the pillar, and Staci followed his lead. Rook stood a head above her and loomed over the woman. “This prison does not belong to one person.”

Her eyes widened and Rook thought he’d gotten through to her at last. “I remember you,” she sneered. “You were that guy we pulled out of the Bliss. Yeah, I know you. Virgil died because of you, and so did the Marshal.”

“That was Faith,” he corrected with gritted teeth. That moment was buried along with so many other memories he didn’t want to relive. 

“Sure, sure. You go around calling yourself such pretty things but the thing is you did nothing. Now, you get your punk ass out of here. I won’t say it again. Don’t nobody come around here again, this place is mine. You want it? You will fucking take it from my cold hands, you prick.” She  spit on the ground by Rook’s feet and ignored how Peaches’ fur stood on end. 

“Alright fine. We’ll leave. Come on, Stace.” He glared at her again, her name a blur in his mind, and headed for the exit. Staci on his heels and Peaches trotting ahead.

When they were outside, Rook violently kicked at a trashcan and sent it rolling noisily down the hill. Staci flinched but stayed to the side to avoid Rook’s anger. He wasn’t used to it but that woman had been infuriating. 

“Hey, Rook, calm down. Let me-” He reached out and grabbed his friend’s shoulder. Instead of getting smacked for it like he’d imagined, Rook instantly calmed like that fire in him had been thrown into water. “Let me talk to her. Please. We’re getting the prison.”

“No, it’s... We'll radio for back up.”

“Rook, trust me. I can handle it.” 

Rook sighed and leaned down, pressing his forehead to Staci’s. It made him tense up but Rook was spending his days with the Seeds and that gesture was bound to rub off on him. Staci stayed there until Rook pulled away, a lot calmer and tired from arguing.

“Okay. Go on.”

Staci nodded and patted Rook’s back as he disappeared into the prison again. Rook sighed again and kicked at some rocks, looking back at the high stone walls. He remembered Virgil was buried in the yard out back so he headed to the grave.

There were two crosses beside each other. Burke and Virgil. He hadn’t known the Marshal before the arrest but there had been talk of some bigshot in the city coming down to help. So much for that promise. The man had been the first victim,  auctioned off to Faith where she pulled apart his brain and made him into a puppet. 

“You guys are missing a whole lot of crap,” Rook spoke to the graves as if the men buried beneath could hear him.

Virgil had been strange but a kind, unexpected friend. Rook didn’t know him well either. Still, it had been a kick to the gut when  _ that  _ happened and there was nothing to be done. Jacob had turned Rook into a puppet as well, forcing him to kill Eli. Things  were better now but the damage was done, and Rook tried his hardest to keep the memories and nightmarish thoughts under lock and key in his mind.

He pressed a couple fingers to the crosses to pay his respects and saluted at Burke’s grave. He’d been taught funeral procedures in the army and later in the police, but Rook was grateful he’d never had to carry a coffin or watch somebody being lowered into the ground the way he’d practiced with his class. He stayed there a moment longer, staring at the mounds in the earth, wondering what it would’ve been like if they had arrested Joseph after all. Would the world still have ended and would they have been left wishing they’d listened to Joseph?

Rook was wandering back to the front yard when he heard a gunshot. He sprinted to the door, panic setting in as he feared for his friend’s life. He never should’ve let him go by himself. That woman was crazy. Rook almost collided with Staci as he turned the corner into the courtyard.

“Stace! Are you okay? What happened?” Rook scanned his friend for any injury, hands patting him carefully, but Staci was unharmed.

“I’m okay.”

Rook sighed in relief and glanced around to find the woman. She was on the floor in a puddle of blood, her eyes shut and her rifle across the room. Rook went to her and checked for a pulse. She was dead. 

“Staci, what did you do?” He looked back at his friend, finding him holstering his pistol and looking nonchalant about it.

“I got you the prison,” Staci said casually without guilt. He turned towards the maintenance area the resistance had filled up. “I’ll go find some shovels.” 

He left Rook with the body, confused and frightened. What had happened? Did they fight? Surely that was in self-defence. Staci wouldn’t just murder her over this. Right?

\---

The closest thing Rook had  witnesses  to a burial was watching Eli’s body burn on the pyre. Tammy and the Whitetail Militia all mourning their loss and silently blaming Rook for it. Jacob may have brainwashed him but it was still Rook’s face Eli saw and his finger on the trigger.

Staring at the three graves, Rook realised he hadn’t lost as much as Staci. He still had his humanity and his senses. The prison would’ve been theirs but not like this. He glanced at his friend, smoking by the Jeep and gazing up at the sky. It wasn’t all Jacob- sure the conditioning had made him fearful, jumpier, but this was something else. 

He sighed and stood up from his crouch, taking the shovels away and leaving them by some  supply crates. As he ended back to the Jeep, he called out for his cougar. That’s when he saw Staci flinch hard at the name like he’d been shocked. There wasn’t much he could do  so he joined Staci and leaned against the hood with him.

“You didn’t have to kill her.”

“She wasn’t going to give it up,” Staci argued back, flicking the stub to ground and crushing it under his heel. “I did what was needed.”

“Is that you talking or Jacob?”

Staci glared at him and Rook expected to be punched. “What does it matter? She tried to kill us. Once with bullets and then with- with the cat. The prison is ours. We can throw those assholes who wanted you dead in there and start again.”

“I know. You’re right. I just... She didn’t need to die for it.”

“That’s what happens, Rook. People die.”

“You think I don’t know that? I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve  killed. But that’s not what this world needs. Death is the last thing we need. ”

“She was standing in our way. She wouldn’t listen to anything you were  saying . She was weak.” 

Rook spun around to face him, barely restraining himself from hitting Staci. “You sound like Jacob.”

“Is that such a bad thing? At the end of the day, I’m alive because of him. He taught me how to be strong, how to make decisions like this.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?  Staci , do you even hear yourself?”

Staci was watching him calmly, which only made it worse. There was no emotion in his eyes. “I can’t afford to be weak anymore. People need me, Earl wants me in charge of the police force while he’s busy with the Wolf’s Den. Do you have any idea what kind of pressure that is on me? I can’t be weak. I need to be strong.”

“No, that’s... Why would Earl put you in charge? No offence, Staci, but you were always a slacker at work. I barely knew you for a few months before this shitstorm and now, after all this, he thinks you’re ready to lead? Why not give it to Joey?”

“Thanks for the confidence, Rook. You’re such a good friend.”

“Yeah, and you’re becoming the poster boy for Jacob’s bullshit. If you think he’s so great, why don’t we go see him now? You can tell him face to face how grateful you are.”

The  fist to his cheek should have been expected but it still hurt. Rook staggered back on one knee, holding his face and stopping Staci from coming closer with an extended hand. He’d gone too far, way too far. The emotions were back in Staci’s eyes. Wrath, fear, doubt. 

“You should be fucking grateful, Rook! You didn’t have the balls to kill her, even when she shot at us. No, you’re all about diplomacy now, aren’t you? Rewind a few months and you wouldn’t have let her even speak, she’d been dead in a heartbeat. Nothing has changed since then except you joined the cult, and I don’t even give a shit about that. So why are you so hellbent on being so peaceful? You said it yourself, you don’t even know how many people you’ve killed. Hundreds? Thousands? Why am I suddenly the bad guy for killing one person?”

“Staci, put the gun down...” Rook said gently, hands extended in defence, as he backed away. “I’m sorry, I went too far. Okay? You’re nothing like Jacob. You’re right, I shouldn’t have said those things. You did me a favour. I’m sorry. Thank you for killing her. I couldn’t do it but you could. So, please put the gun down.”

Staci looked down at his hands, wrapped around the service pistol and aimed at his friend. He flicked the safety back on and threw it on the ground like it was burning him. He stepped back, hitting the Jeep, and he gripped at the hood as he breathed in and out deeply. His eyes glanced from the gun to Rook, flitting between them anxiously. 

Rook grabbed it, shoving it between his belt and his shirt. He approached slowly. Peaches was close by, watching curiously with her tail swishing sharply. She’d been ready to step in. 

“I... I didn’t even realise. I’m not okay, Rook. You’re not the first. I attacked Joey, too. I was about to kill her as well. I don’t know what’s going on anymore.” Staci placed his head in his hands, breathing heavily, and yanked at his hair. His face was flushed and he was close to hyperventilating.

“Are you- Can I come closer?” 

Staci nodded, pulling his hands away and holding his arms out weakly. Rook stepped into the gap and let him cling to his chest. He heard weak sobs coming from Pratt as he buried his face in Rook’s shoulder, his hands digging into his back like claws. 

“You’re going to be okay.” Rook ran his fingers through Staci’s hair and rubbed his back, trying to calm the man. It took a few minutes before Staci fell quiet and stopped crying.

“I don’t know what to do, Rook. Every time someone makes a noise or pisses me off, I just  lose control. I just want to have a normal life again.”

“There’s someone I think you should talk to. She’s a new cultist but she was a psychologist. Maybe she can help.”

Staci chuckled thinly against his chest. “You want me to see a shrink?”

“Yes. Look, she’s nice and people have started seeing her. Everybody speaks highly of her, so just give it a go. It might help.”

“And if it doesn’t, I’m stuck like this.” Staci pulled back, sniffling, and couldn’t look up to meet Rook’s eyes. “Could you drive? I don’t think I should.”

“Yeah, where to?”

“We need to report back to Whitehorse. After that, I should want to go home. I’ll see your shrink some other day, alright?”

Rook pressed their foreheads together and Staci relaxed this time. He wanted not hing more than to curl up in bed and never wake up again. They got into the car, Peaches lazed across the backseat, and drove the hour and a half up to the Den in silence.

Neither of them mentioned the dead woman they buried behind the prison. The agreement went unsaid between them. Earl was more than pleased with the state of the prison. Repairs were required on top of everything else but it could be operational in a couple  months’ time if everyone did their part. 

The inhabitants of the Den were happy to see Rook as well, and Tammy embraced him on his way out. What when on with him and the cult wasn’t spoken of and if Tammy knew about his relationship with Joseph, she said nothing. 

Rook didn’t see Staci for days afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was Tracey who died, since the boys didn't know her name.


	35. Animal Instinct

It took Joseph a while to get used to seeing John in his bed some mornings. Rook was always between them, a blockade from the awkwardness of tangled limbs and sleepy hugs with his brother. He’d woken with John spooning him once and the aftermath of apologies and averted eyes wasn’t worth the hassle. Hence shoving Rook in the middle, not that the Deputy minded. He loved the attention, preening at the  caresses and kisses he received once at least one Seed was awake. 

It didn’t happen every night, that they fell in bed together. Usually Joseph was up very late and crawled tiredly into the bunker bed and John just happened to be there too. Sometimes the youngest Seed couldn’t sleep and joined in the middle of the night desperate for human contact. Most nights they spent apart.

Joseph woke this tim e to a lovely sound and soft breaths fanning on his shoulder. He opened his eyes slowly and saw the top of Rook’s head above the blankets. John was behind him, pressed close, and his arm was moving beneath too. Joseph trailed a curious hand down, expecting Rook’s cock to be held by John’s hand but he found it alone and very wet at the tip. 

Rook bucked into the touch, gazing up at Joseph. His face was flushed dark red and his pupils so large his eyes were almost black. He smiled and kissed the closest skin to his lips.

“Morning, sweetheart,” Joseph greeted, letting his fingers curl  against Rook’s cock. “What has you so flustered?”

“He has four fingers inside him,” John answered with a grin,  popping his head up and nibbling on Rook’s neck. “For... about an hour now. I’m surprised he didn’t wake you earlier.”

“ So, you let John finger you but not me?” Joseph meant no harm in the question but it was true. Rook hadn’t offered anal yet, always more than happy to fuck the preacher instead. Rook smiled sheepishly.

“It is for you. John’s just getting me ready,” Rook panted on his skin, moaning softly as John teased the rim of his stretched hole with his thumb. 

“Is that so? How thoughtful.” Joseph leaned down to kiss Rook’s forehead, caressing what he could reach. “Do you think you could take me now?”

“Yes,” Rook breathed out sweetly, arching his back to get the most pleasure from his boyfriends. Waking up to John’s suggestion was a welcome surprise but now he needed more. John had prevented him from  climaxing for ages.

Joseph sat up, rearranging the blankets around them. John stayed where he was, happy to watch Rook’s face as his brother made himself comfortable between Rook’s legs. 

“Are you certain?” Joseph asked as he placed his hands on the knees parted either side of him. 

“I am, just fuck me. Please, Joseph, I need it. I need you.” Rook lifted his hips when John pushed a pillow underneath him, trying his best to be helpful when he wasn’t able to do much. 

Joseph leaned down and kissed his nose and then his lips. He cast a glance to his brother but he knew John wasn’t about to involve himself beyond a curious hand. Maybe he should be  embarrassed , ask for this moment between him and his lover to be private. But Rook wanted John there too, he could tell by the constant grins they shared.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise.” 

Rook let his legs be lifted and his body pulled further down the bed, and watched Joseph brace himself on one hand and stroke himself with the other. He felt the head press against his hole and Joseph looked at him for consent again. Rook nodded and gasped as he pushed past the stretched muscles. 

“Rook... You feel so good,” Joseph praised, kissing his lover’s lips as he slowly kept inching in every few seconds that make sure Rook could handle it. “So warm and tight. I could stay like this forever.”

“I can’t, please move. I need more.”

“ So demanding. Just enjoy the feeling.” Joseph’s hands went to Rook’s hips, rubbing circles into the skin as he slowly dragged out and pushed in. The pace was killing Rook, his face twisted in desperation, and Joseph took pity and started moving faster.

Rook’s body was greedy, refusing to let go of his cock, clamping down on him as Rook breathed heavily and moaned gently with every inhale. He was so hot, soaked in the oil John had used, and Joseph vaguely realised how much he missed being on top. If Rook enjoyed this, it would certainly become a more common activity. 

“You’re doing so well,” John said to Rook, his fingertips trailing back and forth from each nipple to pinch and twist them. Rook bucked into the touch with a gasp, moaning  shakily. “Does it feel good?”

“Yes... oh fuck, yes... Feels so fucking good.” Joseph angled his thrusts, remembering what Rook did to him, and tried to find the nerves that lit him up. He slowed down to find it, making Rook whine in protest, but the fight died when he found it.

“Oh fuck! Oh Fuck! Joseph, fuck, yes! Right there, oh God...” 

Joseph pulled out almost completely and slammed back in, punching the air out of Rook as well as striking that perfect spot. Rook cried out in pleasure, his legs trembling and tightening like a vice around Joseph’s hips. The preacher adjusted Rook, bringing his ass further up in the air so he could continue to pound into him. It was tiring so he braced his  hands on Rook’s shoulders, holding him in place as he brought him closer and closer to the edge. 

He closed his eyes for a brief moment to enjoy the feeling of Rook’s tight, wet hole and slick walls. When he opened them, John had claimed his lover’s lips and was swallowing his  high-pitched moans. John’s hand was wrapped around Rook’s cock, trying to pump it in time with Joseph’s thrusts.

“You’re such a good boy, Deputy,” John drawled, licking across Rook’s lips only to suck and nibble them. “Look at what you’re doing to Joseph. He can’t enough of you.”

“He’s right,” Joseph chimed in, breath coming out broken as he was almost there. His face was flushed from exertion but he made sure to keep up the same brutal pace Rook demanded. “You’re perfect, Rook. You’re going to make me cum. Do you want me to finish inside you?”

“Oh god, please, yes! Fill me up, please... I’m so close,” Rook whined, shaking and bucking into his boyfriends’ touches like he didn’t know which to chase. The cock inside him, making sparks fly behind his closed eyes, or the hand pumping his cock and desperate to make him cum. “Come here. I  wanna kiss you.”

Joseph brought his head down obediently, laughing as Rook grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. He moaned the whole way through and it was John’s teasing finger across his slit that made Rook finish, because it helped remind him of what had been inside there. He wanted to try it so badly, to have something inside his ass and his cock at the same time. That very imagine, of Joseph fucking him from  behind , forcing his cock to swallow that beaded metal rod roughly and deeply- He came so hard he blacked out for a moment.

When he opened his eyes, Joseph was climaxing too and he felt John’s fingers prodding alongside his buried cock. Whether it was the extra touch to the underside or Rook’s rhythmic clenching on his cock,  it finished Joseph off. He came deeply, pumping Rook with hot, sticky cum. Joseph thrusts weakened and  slowed as he moaned gently.

“Rook... oh,  ooohh ...” His hips stilled, cock still twitching and leaking. When he carefully pulled out, his cum flowed out and stained the bed. He pushed Rook’s cheeks apart to watch, smiling softly and running a finger upwards to scoop up some cum and thrusting it back inside Rook’s loose hole. John laughed softly at Rook’s complaints of sensitivity, pushing the pads of his fingertips against the Deputy’s sticky walls too.

“Oh God, that was good,” Rook mumbled tiredly, smiling too as John busied himself with cleaning him up. He pushed the dirty towel into Joseph’s hands, and fell back on the bed beside Rook.

“Did you enjoy that, baby?” John cooed, running his hand up and down Rook’s chest. “Sounded like you did.”

Rook nodded and hummed, mumbling some incoherent words as he verged on sleep. Joseph laid down beside him, spooning his side, and kissing his shoulder.

“Thank you for letting me do that.”

“’S okay, I loved it. Love you so much, Joseph.” Rook found the strength to turn his head and kiss Joseph sweetly, letting the older man do most of the work. “Love you too, John,” Rook added, turning to his other side and kissing John as well. John chuckled against his lips, warmed inside  by Rook’s kindness.

They snuggled the Deputy in their own way, keeping each other warm until it was time to face the day properly.

\---

The cabin given to Charlotte was modest, meant only as a meeting spot rather than a home. The decorations were spartan with no insignia or flags, simply a comfortable set of teal couches around a wooden coffee table, a small table and wicker chair, and a bookcase. It was on the edge of the county, flanked by forested hills and sat beside a small river that coursed between  Holland Valley and the Henbane. The perfect spot of seclusion away from the roads and most of civilisation, accessible only by a dirt path and a tiny sign on the main road.

The outside of the cabin had no  hint of inhabitancy except for the trimmed grass leading to the front door. No mailbox or fences, nothing to suggest this was ever more than a little hunting cabin overtaken by nature. Ivy grew on one side, climbing up to the slope of the roof where bird nests had been made in the crevices. Flowers were dotted among the weeds, swaying in the breeze and scenting the air sweet. 

Charlotte herself looked like she’d always belonged there, like woodland nymph in her pastel-pink flowing dress and her brown hair in a fishtail plait. She heard the crunch of tires on the dirt and smiled, opening the door to greet her new visitor. There was no schedule yet, her  clients came from word of mouth and slowly people were trickling in. 

Expecting someone new, she was more than surprised to find the eldest Seed slamming the door of his pickup and marching towards her. She’d always been afraid of him, she knew the stories just like everybody else in Hope County. Keeping her smile plastered on, she said hello.

“Did I come at a bad time?” He asked, glancing around before settling his eyes on her. 

“Not at all. Would you like to come in?” He nodded and followed her inside, checking out the cabin with no emotions. “What can I do for you, Mr Seed?”

“Jacob,” he corrected. “I heard you were getting set up, thought I’d check the place. Joseph didn’t give you any guards?”

“I insisted on being alone.” She sat down on the couch and gestured for Jacob to join, but he remained standing in the middle of the small room. “I understand the reason for protection but I feel it will have a negative effect on my patients. They won’t feel safe if armed men are just waiting outside.”

“And what if someone came here to hurt you?”

“Then it happens and they will face the Father’s judgement. I appreciate your concern, Jacob, but people come here to relieve themselves of their burdens. There are far more  important people to target than me. Plus-” She stood and went to the table, reaching beneath and pulling out a handgun. “I have this.”

Jacob smiled briefly.

“I’m not completely defenceless,” she added, placing the gun back in the hidden holster. “You know, I have plenty of time if you’d like to sit and chat.”

“About what?”

“Whatever you want. How are you feeling today?”

Jacob chuckled. “No offence but I don’t  _ do  _ shrinks. And I’m fine, to answer your question.” 

“Why is that?” Her tone was light. Inviting. She had plenty of people in her line of work who’d been reluctant to speak, forced into sessions by family. Jacob was stubborn but she could manage.

“I don’t like talking about myself. I’m not interesting.”

“I don’t believe that, Jacob. A man in your position, the life you’ve lived, what you do for the Project and your family- It makes you a very interesting person.”

Jacob moved to sit on the edge of the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “You know how to inflate someone’s ego. Is that what you do? You say pretty things and I’m supposed to tell you my life story.”

“Do you not like hearing praise?”

Jacob scoffed. “You don’t praise someone like me. You stay out of my way and let me do my job.”

“And what is your job?” She was curled up on her couch, legs tucked beneath her and listening closely, falling into that easy routine of careful questions.

“To serve the Father.”

“That’s vague. I could say the same thing but that’s not my job. I listen to people, I give them advice and help them with their issues.”

“You think I have issues?”

She shrugged. “Everyone does, myself included. There’s always room for growth, for change. Sometimes what’s needed for change isn’t always obvious to the person involved. That’s why you need another mind to figure it out. So, tell me, what’s your job?”

“I protect my family. I train my men. I’m a soldier, that’s my job.” Jacob was getting bored of the conversation. What he did was public knowledge, that’s why his role worked so well. Charlotte was just stating the obvious.

“And is there anything else to your life beside being a soldier?”

“No.”

“Don’t you think you should have other aspects to your life?” 

Jacob sighed and stood with a huff. “Look, I just came to check the place out. I don’t need you trying to get inside my head. That’s what I do, and you wouldn’t like me to do that to you.”

His threat washed over her. She’d been threatened with far worse in the past, some men so angry at her deductions that they claimed they’d rape her in her own office. She smiled at Jacob.

“My sister’s husband was in the army too. The first couple of weeks home were always hard, he’d take a while to readjust, but then he’d throw himself into various hobbies. Kept himself busy, made sure his family was happy. He had a life beyond the army.”

“I don’t have time for hobbies.” Jacob wasn’t sure why he was still entertaining her.

“You can always make time. The apocalypse already happened, there’s no rush. There’s a difference between surviving and living, Jacob. You should try to find that balance.”

“Why?”

“You would be happier. I’m sure you’d like to spend more time with your brothers. Deep down, Jacob, you’re a whole lot more than a soldier.”

Charlotte knew she struck a nerve. Jacob lost that bored expression for an instant and he looked tired instead, like he’d realised the burden on his shoulders was becoming too much to handle. A car drove down the path and at the sound, Jacob’s mask sealed back up and he became that quiet man again. The one that people feared and steered clear of. 

Their chat was over. Jacob went to the door and stepped in the  open  doorway. He glanced back at Charlotte like he wanted to say something but his eyes fell on the visitor and he left without a word. Charlotte followed.

There was a young man with black hair frozen in place, staring with wide eyes at Jacob. The two watched each other for a moment before Jacob walked up to him.

“Morning, Peaches.”

“Jacob,” Staci replied curtly, unwilling to look away from him. He wanted to get right back in his truck and drive away.

“You doing okay? ” Jacob asked tentatively. “ Been a while since I’ve seen you.”

Staci looked like he wanted the ground to open beneath his feet so  Charlotte stepped in, bright smile and cheerful attitude. “Hey there, did you want to come inside?”

Staci looked to her, relief in his eyes, and nodded. She hovered an arm around his shoulders and guided him towards the door. Staci almost ran inside the cabin. Charlotte glanced back to Jacob but he was already getting into his pickup and reversing.

When she closed the cabin door, Staci was hovering by the window watching the truck drive away. Once it was out of sight, he sighed and finally noticed Charlotte.

“Sorry... I just-” He trailed off, finding the  hardwood floor very interesting.

“You looked like you needed rescuing. I’m Charlotte.” She held out her hand and was surprised when he shook it.

“Staci. I’m... not cult. Thanks for doing that.”

“I gathered. Don’t worry, I get a mix of people coming here. Take a seat and we can get started. Would you like some water?”

Staci shook his head, sitting down on the couch in the same spot Jacob had taken . “No thanks. I don’t- I haven’t done this before. Talk ed to someone I mean. It’s confidential, right?”

“Yes. Whatever you say stays between us. If it helps, you can think of it like confession.”

“I really don’t want to think of it like that. I’m already bothered by one Seed, don’t need to add another one.”

“You’re talking about Jacob.”

Staci nodded, curling his legs up on the couch and mirroring Charlotte, though he seemed to do it to make himself smaller. He looked tired, bags under his eyes, a shake in his hands as he fumbled with the zipper of his hoodie. It was too  baggy on him, like he’d once fit in it. 

“Would you like to tell me more?”

“I was... uh, one of his- I was given to him. He put me through a lot of shit. All that conditioning crap they talk about- It's real. ” Staci paused, swallowed the lump in his throat. “ Is it...? Do you think it’s possible to break out of it?” He glanced back over his shoulder, checking if Jacob had returned. As if the mere mention of his conditioning would send the soldier right back here to break him further.

“I have to be honest, I don’t have experience with it. It’s not taught in university. Why don’t you tell me more? How do you feel about Jacob?”

“You saw me out there. How do you think I feel?”  Staci frowned. He hadn’t expected to get right into the subject, let alone seeing the problem himself right there.

“Scared, small, perhaps lonely. These are all normal emotions  under stress  but does it go beyond that? Are there moments when you feel angry? Have there been signs that your conditioning is leaving an impact?”

Staci’s eyes widened. “Yeah, actually. There are moments I black out  and when  I wake up , I’ve done something bad. I don’t remember it happening. I feel like I have no control over what I do.”

“And these blackouts, were they caused by something special?”

“The first time, I thought I was in danger. I just... I do these things but it’s not me. Like, I don’t go around trying to stab people. It’s not me.”

Charlotte nodded slowly. This was a little above her paygrade but she had signed up for this, cult or not the people had major issues. “From what I know of Jacob’s trials, he tries to bring out the strength in people. Do you think that when  you black out, that new part of you is trying to keep you safe?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve heard of animal instinct, right?” Staci nodded, not really following. “When an animal is scared, they will either fight or run away. Humans are the same. That fight or flight response is in all of us, but usually people will run. What if Jacob’s conditioning removed the flight option?”

“I’m left wanting to fight...”

“Exactly, so in those moments of danger, your brain took over the controls to protect you. It sounds a li ttle crazy put like that but I think you understand.”

“ So I need to get that flight response back somehow,” Staci realised with a tiny smile, hope blossoming in his chest. 

“Either that or dampen the fight response. If you gain control over it again, in theory, the conditioning would break. Perhaps putting you in these situations but with safety protocols, you could slowly work it out.”

“You want me to endanger myself?”

Charlotte waved her hand. “No, not completely. Think on the terms of a sparring session. Both opponents try to win but neither is harmed fatally. If you had lookouts and the right setup, you could simulate the right settings.”

Staci left the cabin with a smile. He’d been right to follow Rook’s  advice and visit this woman.  Somehow, he had to convince Rook to fight him and break the conditioning. 


	36. Brawl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to change update times to weekly. Every Monday you'll get a chapter :)

Breaking the news to Rook was harder than he imagined. He didn’t want to go to the ranch and see the Seeds or any of the  P eggies , but Rook was either there or at the Vet’s centre. Staci was  _ not  _ going there. So instead, he knocked on the ranch doors. John opened it, a frown on his face at the unannounced visitor. He looked Staci up and down, likely judging his  ripped jeans and old plaid shirt, and bracketed the doorway, blocking Staci’s view of the inside.

“What do you want?” 

He hadn’t spoken much to John the last time they met to discuss the new world, and before that he’d once given the man a speeding ticket. That was about as far as their interactions went.

“Is Rook here?” 

“He’s out.”

“Do you know when he’ll be back?”

John sighed, boredom setting in. “I’m not his mom so  _ no _ , I don’t know when he’ll be back.” 

“Okay, Jesus.” Staci turned to leave but Joseph suddenly appeared behind John. The youngest brother didn’t budge but his temper faded in the preacher’s presence. Staci glanced between the two in confusion, but Joseph placed a hand on John’s shoulder to pull him away. John stumbled to the side, rolling his eyes.

“Why don’t you wait inside, Mr Pratt?”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” 

Staci heard the door close behind him and Joseph gestured for him to sit on one of the plush armchairs. He felt like he was sinking into the leather. It was so plush and comfortable, warmed by the low fire in front of him. 

“Rook went to walk his pets, he should be back soon. Would you like some thing to drink?” Joseph hovered at his side politely.

“I’m okay, thank you. Is he... alright?” Staci inclined his head to John, watching him jog up the stairs, taking two at a time, and slamming the door to the balcony behind him. 

“John? He’s fine, he’s been working hard to improve relations between the Project and the locals.”

“How is it going? I mean, the plan and everything.” 

Joseph took that as an invitation to sit in the couch next to him, crossing his legs. “Very well. I won’t bore you with too many details but we’re all on track. The alliance is working to everybody’s advantage. I heard from Rook you were restoring the Police station and the prison.”

“Yeah, well, we need the law again. There needs to be an order to things.”

“Balance needs to be restored, I agree. How many have signed up for your new system?”

Staci wasn’t sure Whitehorse would want him to give out details like that. Sure, there was peace but they were still separate groups. Information was still  vital to each side. 

“Not many. The old officers and some newbies. There’s still a lot to figure out before we’re up and running again.” Staci hoped that was enough to satisfy Joseph but still vague. 

Joseph was about to say something when the front door opened and two fluffy beasts ran inside, followed by a red-faced  Rook breathing heavily.

“Boomer ! Peaches ! G et back here! Sorry, Joseph, they saw some deer earlier and got worked up,” Rook explained in a rush, chasing after his pets. He managed to stop Boomer from running out again, barely closing the door in time. The  Peggies outside were laughing but Rook ignored them. “Okay, slow down. Jesus Christ...”

Boomer was spinning madly in circles, barking up a storm, and Peaches was trying to avoid a collision with the dog. Her way of doing that was jumping on the couch, which was prohibited with her enormous claws.

“No, no, no. Peaches, get off the couch. Down, girl! Ugh, right, I’m going to feed them in the kitchen. I’ll be right back. Hi Staci, haven’t forgotten you. I’m just-”

“Yeah, you do your thing first,” Staci reassured him, having tucked his legs on the armchair to avoid the rampant pets. Joseph was a lot calmer, likely used to this insanity, but he was trying to hide a laugh behind his hand.

“Yeah, I’m  gonna \- Yeah.” Rook led the way to the kitchen, whistling for his beasts to follow. They ran after him. 

Five minutes later, Rook emerged and shut the corridor doors behind him to have a little peace and quiet. He looked dishevelled, hair tangled from the beanie he’d shoved over his long hair. There was mud splattered up his calves and grass smears staining the dark indigo denim. He practically yanked his flannel shirt  off  and threw it on the couch next to Joseph. His  t- shirt clung to his chest with sweat.

Rook leaned down to hug Staci, wrapping his arms around his friend. “Sorry about the smell. I ran like three miles to catch up to them.”

“It’s okay, I don’t care. They keep you in shape,” Staci replied, patting Rook’s back as he pulled away. 

Rook chuckled. “Yeah, that’s one way of thinking. I’m glad there’s wildlife again but those two don’t need to chase deer away like that. I’m pretty sure Peaches planned on eating one till I held her back by her collar. Let me tell you, holding a cougar back is not easy. Pretty sure my arms will kill by the morning.”

Rook finally took a seat on the couch, accepting a brief kiss on the cheek. “Hey,  hun ,” he said to Joseph. “ Hope you weren’t waiting long, Stace.”

“Not really ,  Joseph kept me company. I wanted to talk about something, if you’ve got the time.”

“Always.”

Joseph took the hint quickly. He squeezed Rook’s knee and stood up. “I should work on my next sermon. It was lovely to see you again, Staci.” He leaned down to kiss Rook’s lips, a quick peck, and then he went upstairs to his room.

“You’ve trained him well,” Staci joked, settling more comfortably now that it was just the two of them. 

Rook laughed brightly, his shoulders shaking. “I don’t know about that. He’s... ah, I love him.”

“Sap.”

“I know, I know. So, what did you want to chat about?”

“Could we go somewhere more private? It involves Jacob and I don’t want anyone to listen.” 

Rook shrugged and stood up, grabbing his discarded shirt and balling it in one hand. “To the bunker we go, I guess. Just watch out for Boomer and Peach-” Rook stopped himself from finishing her name, glancing back at Staci. 

“It’s okay. You can say it. It’s not like you can change her name.”

“Okay. Just, like I said, watch out. Hopefully they’re busy eating.”

It turned out that his furry companions were lounging in the kitchen, bellies full and eyes closed for a nap. Rook  quietly head ed down to the basement, unlocking it qui ckly so Stace could squeeze through without  alerting the pets. Rook flicked the lights on and led them to the common room, grabbing beer from the mini fridge. He’d moved it there a while ago.

Staci sat down, curling up in the corner of a large couch and grabbing a pillow. He relaxed slowly and accepted the beer, knocking it with Rook’s with a smile.

“I went to see that shrink you talked about. She’s nice.”

Rook nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Joseph picked her out for the job. I mean, it was literally her job before so I’m sure she’d qualified. Did it go okay?”

“It did, she... umm, suggested I try to fight the conditioning.”

Rook raised a brow, sitting cross-legged beside him and facing the  other  Deputy. “Is this about the prison?”

Staci sighed and shook his head. “It’s not just that. Look, there’s been other problems. You know what happened to me- I don’t want to compare our experiences but I got hit hard. And I can’t shake it all off. I haven’t told anybody this and I swear to god if you repeat it-”

“I won’t.”

“You’re not the first person I attacked. A  few weeks ago,  I tried to kill Joey.” Staci saw the look on Rook’s face and immediately added, “She’s fine. She knocked me out before I could really hurt her. But Rook, I keep losing my shit. I just black out, I don’t know what’s happening until I snap out of it.”

“You’re not... are you hearing the song?” Rook’s mind almost played it before he could shut it down.

“No. Jacob’s been nowhere near me except today. He was at the cabin with her but he was leaving. I froze, of course, but aside from the usual stuff- nothing happened. Rook, th at woman  said I should try to break the conditioning.”

“How?”

“Putting me in scenarios that would cause me to change. Like, fighting someone. She thinks  it’s all to do with fight-or-flight responses.  Apparently, I don’t know how to run away anymore, I just jump to the extreme.”

Rook tried to wrap his head around it. It made sense, but his conditioning was nowhere near as horrible as Staci’s. The song triggered him, of course, but he never blacked out or had bursts of rage. 

“If we could fight, maybe somehow that would help me. Please, Rook, I’ll try anything. I need to be normal again. I can’t keep fucking up or someone  I care about  is going to die and that will be my fault. I’m begging you, man.” His voice grew small and he fell silent.

Staci fidgeted with the label of his beer, rolling the paper under his thumb and destroying the whistling beaver printed on it. He refused to look at Rook, keeping his head down so his hair fell and hid parts of his face. He was ashamed of asking for help, of needing someone else to involve themselves for his sake. What did he  even contribute?

“Alright, I’ll fight you. But outside, with people standing by. No weapons, no duel to the death.”

Staci glanced up. “Thanks, Rook.”

“Let me finish my beer and we’ll head out.”

\---

“You want us to- _what?"_ The Peggie asked, eyebrows raised in doubt as he and his fellow guards cast glances at Rook and Staci.

“Look, we just need you to keep an eye on us. If something goes wrong, pull us apart okay. This might get violent,” Rook insisted, hands on his hips as he looked back to Staci. 

“I’m not sure the Father would approve...”

“Joe’s not here. Look, promise you’ll keep an eye out.”

The Peggie sighed heavily through his nose and reluctantly nodded. “Fine, we will.”

“Good. Thank you.” Rook walked away towards the runway where they had cleared a spot for their sparring. The  Peggies trailed behind, four of them just in case Staci needed to be held down. They didn’t talk about that possibility much.

Rook raised his arms above his head to stretch, watching as Staci also readied himself. Pratt chucked his shirt away, leaving a thin tee on. They’d soon warm up anyways. The two stood opposite each other, a couple metres apart, and the  Peggies were hovering close. Two on each side.

“You ready, Stace?”

“As I’ll ever be. Don’t hold out, Rook. I can take it,” Staci promised, adjusting his stance. Rook glanced at the cultists and nodded. The man he’d spoken to nodded back but he looked ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

Rook returned his attention to Staci and waited a second before lunging out at him, throwing his shoulder into Staci’s chest to push him back. Staci stumbled back and fell but his leg swooped out in time to bring Rook down as well. The weight of the man crushed Staci but he managed to shove Rook off and straddle his chest. 

“I win,” he gloated, hardly breaking a sweat. 

He wasn’t prideful for long. Rook’s fist connected with his cheek, hard enough to stun but not hurt too bad. He groaned but Rook was quick to use the distraction, pushing Staci to the side and gaining the upper hand. Rook was almost on top of him, ready to pin Staci down, but the other Deputy lashed out and grabbed a fistful of Rook’s hair. He yanked him down and smashed his knee against Rook’s nose, sending blood gushing down his face.

“What the fuck?!” Rook yelled, stumbling back as Staci released him. He clutched his nose, blood running over his fingers.

Staci looked mildly apologetic. Rook wiped his hand on his shirt, spit out blood on the dusty ground, and stood up. He wobbled and let Staci get up as well, before charging him again. This time his fist flew out and Staci deflected it, hitting him in the stomach. Rook gasped out shakily, body bowed in pain but he used it to bring his head up and smack  into  Staci’s face in revenge. 

Staci threw himself into a tackle, tossing Rook down and following him down. They wrestled in the dirt, bringing up clouds of dust. They were both covered in blood but Staci didn’t feel like he was losing control. It felt like a normal fight. Until Rook got him in a headlock.

He gulped for air, his lungs starting to burn as he struggled. His fingers clawed at Rook’s arms and he could feel his mindset changing, calculating Rook as an enemy instead of a sparring partner.

“Hey, don’t you think you’ve had enough?” One of the  Peggies asked, approaching with heavy boots. Rook agreed but Staci’s attention was fixed on the knife at the man’s belt. 

Rook let him go, patting Staci’s shoulder and panting tiredly. Staci snarled and lunged for the knife, pulling it from the holster in a swift move. He held it out towards Rook, saw the panic in the man’s eyes change to understanding.

“Stace? You with me?” Rook took a step back, guarded and awaiting any movement. Staci starting pacing around him, stalking like some feral animal. “Remember what we agreed on, you’ve got to fight the conditioning. You can’t let it take over. Come on, Stace. Stay with me.”

“You’re weak,” Staci replied with a dead tone, eyes focused on Rook. He didn’t notice the  Peggies stiffening at Jacob’s presence. 

“You know that’s not true. Staci, you need to fight it. Come on, I know you can-” Staci pushed himself forward, ready to bury the knife in Rook’s chest and calculating what direction Rook would take to evade. 

Jacob tackled him with a grunt, climbing on Staci’s chest and grabbing his flailing arms. He pinned his wrists down and Rook jumped in to take the knife away, giving it back to the startled Peggie.  Staci snarled, raising his head to tear Jacob’s throat out.  Anything to stay strong, to fight and stay alive.

“That’s enough, Peaches,” Jacob said softly, pulling back to avoid Staci’s teeth. At his nickname, Staci lost that wildness to his eyes and blinked. “That’s it, good boy.” Jacob dared to let go of his wrists and dragged a hand down the side of his head, patting his cheek gently. “You with me, Peaches?”

Staci nodded mutely, glancing around to find Rook next to him on his knees. He was worried, watching Jacob calm  Staci down with soft words and softer touches. 

“You’re alright now. No more fighting. You did good.” Jacob ignored Rook’s questioning noises, eyes fixed on Staci alone. “I’m going to get off you but I need to know that I can trust you.”

“I’m okay,” Staci whispered, barely audible.

Jacob nodded and stroked his cheek, ignoring the developing bruises and dried blood. “Good boy.” He stood and helped Staci up,  keeping an arm around his shoulders and holding him close to his chest. Staci was panting and didn’t seem afraid of Jacob. If anything, he was clinging to him and unwilling to let go of the man’s jacket.

Jacob turned his head to Rook. “You and I are going to have a long talk about this. Help me get him inside. He needs food and blankets.”

Rook nodded dumbly and followed Jacob’s orders, ignoring the incredulous stares of the  Peggies . Staci said nothing but he held onto Jacob.

\---

When Rook put a  bowl of soup in front of Staci, he refused to touch it. He was huddled on the couch in front of the small fire, blanket over his shoulders, as Jacob cleaned up the blood from his face and hands. Rook felt useless, hovering beside them with guilt in his eyes. He didn’t want to leave Staci alone with Jacob, he’d made a promise after all. But Staci wasn’t responding to anything, not his name or the touches to his skin with the stained, damp cloth.

Rook hesitated in asking Jacob for permission to go and grab a shower, but the soldier wasn’t paying attention to him either. In the end, he snuck away for ten minutes. When he came back, body aching in so many places and a nasty bruise encasing his nose, Jacob was spooning the soup into Staci’s mouth. It was strange to watch and Rook knew he wasn’t exactly welcome. He sat on the furthest armchair, waiting to be useful. 

Staci was so eerily calm, sitting slouching and accepting the food without a word. His eyes were unfocused, staring at nothing. Rook wanted to know what was going on in his head but before he could think much of it, Jacob placed the bowl down and embraced Staci. It was such a vulnerable moment for both of them that Rook couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“It’s over now. You were so strong.” Jacob pulled away and stood but Staci reached out to grab his jacket. His knuckles turned white with the intensity of his grip and Jacob placed his hands over Staci’s gently. “It’s alright, I’m not going far. I’ll be right back.” 

Staci let go at last, whining, and Jacob cast a long look at him before heading out of the door. Rook moved to sit beside Staci.

“Hey, man, you doing okay? Stace?” Pratt nothing, stared into nothing. He didn’t react to Rook’s hand on his shoulder but he whipped his head in the direction of the door as Jacob  re-entered with a Chosen in tow. The man wore the same grey and red uniform Rook knew too well, and the lower half of his face was covered by a red scarf. Only his brown eyes were visible as a black beanie covered his head. He’d been stripped of weapons except a knife attached horizontally to the back of his belt.

“Alright, I’m going to take you upstairs and you’re going to rest,” Jacob said, helping Staci stand. Rook’s hand fell to his side. “Do you remember Alex?” He inclined his head to the Chosen, who  lowered the scarf and  waved in a friendly manner. He was Hispanic and young, clean shaven unlike most  Peggies .

“Yes,” Staci answered quietly. 

“Good, he’s going to stay with you and make sure you’re alright. Come on.” Jacob pushed at Staci’s shoulders, encouraging him to go through the hallway door. The Chosen followed behind and shut the door after him.

Jacob came back a few minutes later on his own. He glanced at Rook, who still sat on the couch. Boomer and Peaches trotted past his legs, going straight to their owner where they laid at his feet.

“You sure he’s safe?” Rook asked as Jacob slumped down heavily beside him. 

“Alex is one of my top guys. He can handle it if Staci has another fit.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Jacob scoffed. “What happened between you two? Must’ve been one hell of an argument.”

Rook looked away and busied his hands by stroking Boomer’s fur. “We were sparring. Stace wanted to break the shit you put in his head and he thought fighting would give him control.”

Boomer whined and climbed up between the two men, laying his head on Rook’s knee as his tail wagged on Jacob’s. Peaches opened one eye, staring at them before concluding that she would be more comfortable on the rug by the fire.

“I thought he was getting better,” Rook admitted. “He was himself again, he seemed happy, but he told me he blacks out and hurts people. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it. When we went to clear out the prison, he killed someone there. She was just defending the place and she let us go, but Staci went back in and- And when I questioned him, he just kept spouting the same bullshit you do. Calling her weak and all that. I got mad at him and he turned on me, wanted to shoot me as well.”

Rook glanced up at Jacob and the man was staring into the flames, expressionless but listening. He couldn’t tell what Jacob was thinking and he didn’t want to. 

“He doesn’t mean for any of it to happen, I know that. I just wanted to help him.”

“You can’t break conditioning,” Jacob finally said after a silent moment. He leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs and laced his fingers together like he was praying. “ It loses its effects after time if it’s not maintained often but the triggers don’t go away. Thirty years from now, I could flick a switch in his head and send him on a rampage.”

Rook wanted to scream at Jacob, punch him until he never moved again. The anger that flared in him was similar to that day with Joseph in the yard. He gritted his teeth, balled his fists, but stayed where he was. Boomer noticed the change in attitude, he stopped wagging his tail and watched the eldest Seed.

“You’re telling me he’s stuck like that? You didn’t think of a backup plan in case something like this happened?”

“I make soldiers, Rook. The best thing for him now is to avoid stress.” 

“He wanted to be a cop again.” Rook stood up, needed to put space between them. Jacob didn’t move or look at him. “He wanted to have a normal life and you stole that from him!  So, what, now he doesn’t get a happy ending? He did nothing to deserve this!” 

Jacob glanced up at him. “I know that.”

It made Rook falter, his next spiteful words stammering. He frowned and then chuckled darkly. “ Oh, you know that? Good, I’m glad you can see how much of a cunt you are-”

“Rook, babe, could you keep it down? I’m radioing people and they really don’t need to hear your profanity,” John shouted from the top of the stairs. He seemed to take in the scene and his sarcasm fell. “Is everything alright?”

“We’re fine, John,” Jacob said, waving his brother away. 

John hesitated, glancing to Rook who looked ready to  explode. “Okay, well just keep it down.” He shut the balcony door behind him.

“We are so not fine, Jacob Seed. You will fix this. Somehow,” Rook spit, seething and torn between clawing Jacob’s throat to ribbons or running upstairs to check on his friend.

“I told you-” Rook was suddenly in his face, grabbing his jaw in one hand. He had no doubt that Jacob could overthrow him in an instant but the eldest brother wasn’t in a position to do so, so he held still and looked up at Rook without emotion.

“I don’t give a shit about your excuses. You fucked him up, you can fix him. Staci is going to be okay again and you’re going to make it that way.”

“And if I can’t?”

“Then I will make you disappear. I can spin a hundred lies about you to Joseph. He still doesn’t trust you. I could tell him you forced yourself on me or that you brainwashed me again, made me go through your trials. He’d believe me, Jacob.”

The emotionless mask finally cracked and Jacob looked afraid. He didn’t want to lose that precious progress he’d made with Joseph, the love he’d worked so hard to get. But then something changed in him and Rook wasn’t sure what he was looking at. Jacob was standing before he knew it and Rook thought this was it. He’d threatened the man one too many times and now Joseph would find his cracked skull on the floor.

“I’m so sorry I did this to you,” Jacob said softly instead. His arms raised and wrapped around Rook’s torso. It took a moment to realise he was being hugged rather than attacked. “The trials, the song, the shit I put you through- I'm sorry. I can’t blame it all on the Project, it’s my fault.”

“You... You mean that?” Rook heard his voice breaking and he tentatively returned the embrace, looping his arms around Jacob’s waist. He could feel the thump of the soldier’s heartbeat against his ear as he succumbed to the hug at last.

“I know I’m a shitty person but please don’t think I’d ever put you through that again. And I’d never force myself-” Jacob paused and inhaled deeply and wetly. Rook wasn’t sure he’d ever heard or seen the man cry. “I don’t know what  Staci told you, if he ever mentioned our personal moments together, but I never hurt him then. It was always mutual. We both just needed human contact. I know I’m a monster but I’m not- I'd never go that far.”

“I’m glad to hear that and yeah, he did talk about it briefly. I was... I wouldn’t lie to Joseph about that. It would ruin everything. I’m just... I’m pissed, Jacob, beyond comprehension.”

Jacob’s hand rubbed up and down his back, and he held Rook so close like he was afraid of something. Rook ignored it and focused on his apology, tried to let it ease the pain he’d gone through. All the trials, Eli’s death, Staci’s broken mind- It was all Jacob’s fault and he was trying to do better.

“Thank you,” Rook eventually said after a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions had left him weak and clutching onto Jacob like a lifeline. 

Jacob’s eyes were red and he sucked in breaths shakily, but he otherwise looked the same except for the damp stains on his shirt where Rook had cried silently. 

“Yeah, you too. I, uh... Do you want to check on Peach- I mean, Staci- with me? It’s better if I’m around, easier to calm him down.”

Rook smiled weakly and nodded. “I’d like that.”

Jacob knocked once before opening the door to his bedroom. It was unusual to do it but  it was better for Staci. The conditioning left him incredibly clingy and desperate for Jacob, which wasn’t part of the  treatment but Jacob had stayed with him the first couple of times. It made Staci dependent, unfortunately. 

As they entered, Staci was clutching one of Jacob’s pillows and his eyes were barely open as he listened to the Chosen. It sounded like Alex was telling him a story and he stopped at the sight of Jacob.

“Has he been good?”

“Yes, Sir. He’s calmed down a lot.” 

The Chosen had stripped off his jacket and pulled the beanie away, revealing his short, buzzed hair and skinny build. Rook could see how his tee was loose over his torso and he realised that the  Peggies were forced to eat a lot less and rationed what little they had. He was grateful to have more on his plate.  With his face revealed completely, Alex couldn’t have been older than twenty-five with a warm complexion. Rook wondered how  long ago he’d joined the cult, whether he was even from Montana to begin with. What could make such a young kid join a prepper cult to begin with?

Jacob had sat on the edge of the bed during Rook’s thoughts and he petted Staci’s hair lovingly.

“How are you doing?”

“I’ll be okay. It was a stupid idea.” Staci was returning to his old self, aware of his surroundings as he looked over to Rook. “Sorry about your face.”

Rook huffed a little laugh and waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll survive, nothing a bit of makeup won’t cover.”

“Are you alright if I stay with you for a while?” Jacob asked, gently stroking Staci’s cheek. The other wasn’t pulling away so  clearly he was still under the influence. 

“As long as Alex stays.” Jacob glanced up at the Chosen and raised a brow. It made Alex uncomfortable, Rook could see it in his eyes, but the man stayed still under Jacob’s scrutiny , thinking he was in trouble because of Staci’s request. Jacob nodded and looked back to Rook.

“I’ll let you rest, Stace. See you later, Jacob. Alex,” Rook added with a polite incline of his head towards the Chosen. 

He received a small, happy wave before he shut the door. His head still spun from Jacob’s apology so he went to Joseph, deciding to lie on his lover’s bed and listen to his half-finished sermon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts!


	37. Target

The Spread Eagle was the best spot for gossip. It was one of the job’s perks that Mary May found throughout the years. As she wiped down the counter or served drinks, she became invisible to those sat at the tables.  It allowed her to listen in on conversations, hearing snippets of illegal deals or drunk chatter of  late-night truckers. She knew who was cheating, who was behind on bills, whose kid had just graduated  high-school and moving out to Bozeman for college. 

The gossip these days wasn’t quite as riveting. Most complained about the lack of resources or how the bar wasn’t open every night of the week anymore. Sheltered between mountains, all roads blocked, Mary May knew the alcohol was in high demand and she needed it to last. Soon the wheat would be harvested and divided and hopefully some would go towards brewing. All she had on the shelf was homemade moonshine and the scavenged whiskey and beer she’d traded for.

As she poured shots for a group of burly men in the corner by the stairs, a couple of guys at the corner said something that caught her attention.

“That place is guarded twenty-four-seven, we  ain’t getting in that way,” the one with a trucker cap and denim jacket said, hunching over the bar and facing his friend.

“Then we just kill ‘ em all. Can’t be that hard.  Plus your plan sucks, you  seriously think we can catch him out on the roads?” His friend with an unkempt beard and navy windbreaker replied, his voice harsh from  chain-smoking .

“I’ve seen the roads he takes, had Billie follow him one time up to the Vet’s centre. He always takes the same route. Look, all we need to do is run him off the road. We get our guys together and he won’t stand a chance.”

Mary May had to serve the others by the stairs and she smiled as she brought the drinks over. They thanked her and she went back to listening in.

“-And  Maxi ’s still missing,” trucker cap said. “Whitehorse said he’d been arrested but he won’t say anything else. I know  Maxi ’s either dead or a fucking Peggie by now.  Ain’t no way Jacob Seed let him go. Whitehorse is lying, I know it.”

“All those guys at the centre just fucking disappeared. It  ain’t just Joey, man. They’re all with the cult now, the whole lot of ‘ em . The cops are part of it, it’s just us left. We need to strike before they find out.” Windbreaker took a heavy gulp of his beer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Listen, I can get the guys together. No problem. Just tell me when and I’ll run that traitor down. He’s  gonna fucking pay, goddamn Seed-fucker.”

“Bet you he’s sucking Joseph’s cock right now, the cunt.” They both laughed and Mary May tried not to let her disgust show as she reorganised the glasses under the bar. “Damn, can’t wait till he’s gone. We’re  gonna take the county back. I’ll give you the signal,  don’t'cha worry. Hey, babe-” Windbreaker slapped some bills on the counter, eyeing Mary May  lecherously . “Here’s a bit extra for  ya , sweetheart.”

She smiled and pulled the money towards her, frowning once they left the bar. She wasn’t sure what to make of their conversation. They couldn’t be talking about Rook, could they? 

Mary May waited until the last of her patrons were gone and the doors were locked before she went to her radio set upstairs. She sat down and fumbled for the right frequency.

“This is Mary May, anybody there?” She only waited a minute before the reply came through.

“Hey, Mary, you doing alright?” Grace asked, voice thick with sleep. 

“I’m fine, just had the strangest night. I think there’s  an uprising ‘bout to happen. Some guys were talking about running Rook off the road. I mean, I’m pretty sure it was Rook.”

“Whoa, slow down, there’s people out for Rook’s head?”

Mary May sighed and bit her bottom lip. “Yeah, I think so. Look, I don’t want to alarm anybody but do you think you could do some snooping around?”

“Sure, I can. I’ll head up to the Den in the morning, see if anybody knows anything.”

“Thanks, Grace, you’re a treasure.”

Grace laughed over the waves. “I know . B ut you can keep telling me. Want me to get a hold of Rook?”

“Yeah, if you could. Is Jess there? Maybe she can go out to the ranch.  I don’t think I’ll get the chance. I know it’s asking a lot-” Mary May trailed off, chewing her lip even more. 

“It’s not. Rook’s done more for us than we could ever pay back. I’ll send Jess out first thing. You just keep an ear out, if this is really going to be a problem then we need to be ready.”

“Thanks again, Grace. I’ll call again tomorrow night, hopefully we’ll have some info.”

“You take care, Mary May. Goodnight.” Grace clicked off on her end, already standing to pack their bags.

Mary slumped back in her chair, holding the speaker and weighing it. She should’ve known the peace wouldn’t last long no matter how optimistic Rook was. They hadn’t spoken since the reopening night and she had no clue what he was up to at the Seed ranch. She saw his car on the main road often and she figured he was heading up to the Whitetails.

She understood the men’s plan. The route was predictable and Rook was always alone, vulnerable. She didn’t sleep much that night. All she wanted to do was to warn him but she didn’t have his frequency, and driving up to the ranch filled her with fear. Grace was capable, though, and she’d hold her promise.

\---

Grace didn’t like to leave her part of the county. She’d settled quite nicely in Dutch’s bunker, left when they needed supplies or fresh air.  It also meant she didn’t have to deal with other people.

The Den wasn’t packed to the brim with activity for once and only a few men and women stayed back. She knew the others were put to work, whether in the fields, on supply runs, or wherever they were sent to these days. Everybody had a purpose, no one could sit around on their ass all day including her.

She wasn’t well  acquainted with the Sheriff. Her father had been, like every parent in Hope County. They all spoke to Earl on Sundays or during the local festivities. A lot of the families around had military backgrounds and while Earl had never worn camo, he was just as avid as her father to exchange stories around a bottle of scotch. 

In fact, as she was led by some lanky kid with a backwards cap, she didn’t know many of the people here. The ones her age, like Joey and Staci, she knew because they’d all gone to the same school. After her tours, she’d been distant and the gap between her and society only grew further apart. 

The kid,  Wheaty she learned when someone called his name , smiled brightly as he pointed at the door to Earl’s office. She knocked and waited for his permission to enter, before slipping in and closing the door.

“Grace Armstrong, it’s been a while.” Earl smiled, something rare these days, and took his feet off the desk. “ Please sit . What can I do for you?”

Grace sat down on the one chair that didn’t look that it would crumble under her. The smell of stale smoke, whiskey, and coffee hit her like a brick and she tried not to show it. 

“Hey, Sheriff. This isn’t a social call, I’m afraid.”

“It never is these days,” he mumbled, taking off his hat and placing it beside a stack of reports.

“I got a call from Mary May last night, said she overheard some guys talking about attacking Rook. I don’t know if it’s smoke or not, but I don’t suppose you’ve heard similar things.”

Earl sighed and reached for his mug. Not the coffee one, she noticed as the steam escaped from another mug on the side. He was old, seen too much shit- She wasn’t blaming him.

“We had an incident about a month back at the Vet’s centre. Bunch of locals were transferred there to help Jacob Seed and they didn’t like it. Rook went to investigate and some kid stabbed him. Wasn’t fatal but it could’ve been.”

“What happened to them?”

“I had a long chat with them. The  culprit’s still locked up but I let the others go. Can’t arrest them for having an opinion.” He took another drink. “Want some?” He pulled out the bottle from his desk drawer.

“It’s not even eight-thirty.”

“I haven’t slept all night. It helps. Can’t feel the buzz anymore, not like I used to, but habits, you know. But back to Rook, that was the only recorded incident. I sent those guys down to the Henbane, tried to put as much space between them and Rook as I could. I know the kid can handle himself but he shouldn’t have to watch his back.”

“You’re right but that’s what the world’s like. Not everybody likes teaming up with the cult.” Grace hated them but the chance at peace was worth letting it happen, and she wasn’t fighting anymore. She had Jess and the bunker. She couldn’t afford to lose that.

“Problem is, the hatred ’ s understandable. We all lost our lives in some shape or form. Nothing’s ever going to be the same. I know they’re trying hard to heal the wounds, Joseph did a one- eighty and so did his brothers. We should all be thankful for that.”

“Instead, we’ve got a possible assassination on our hands.”

“Did you warn Rook?”

Grace nodded. “Called him right after Mary May, told him to stay home where the  Peggies would keep him safe. Sounds strange, saying it aloud.”

Earl chuckled softly. “ Sure does but they’ll do their job. I don’t think this little uprising stands a chance against Jacob and his Chosen, let alone Rook. I’ll keep my ear to the ground, let you and him know if anything comes up.”

“I appreciate it, Sheriff.” She stood and left, her mind swirling with  possibilities on how to protect Rook. Sure, he’d be alright with the  Peggies . But Rook liked taking things head on and the threat on his life would only make him more trigger-happy.

\---

“But if I drive out, I’ll be able to find out who they are. Capture them, add a little bit of waterboarding, and I’ll know where their hideout is,” Rook argued with exaggerated gestures of his hands. He was in the kitchen, breakfast cold and forgotten on his pla t e, and surround ed by the Seeds and Jess.

“Or you’ll die and they’ ll get what they want,” Jacob replied, trying to sound like the voice of reason. 

“Not if I take an armoured vehicle, or someone with me-”

“Then they’ll know something is up and they won’t attack.”

Jess learned to drown out the noise, sighing to herself as she watched Rook and Jacob squabble over the map of Holland Valley and the stupid plan Rook was hell-bent on carrying out. She glanced over at Joseph, who was listening but finishing his breakfast as well.

“Is he always like that?” She asked, standing against the stone and wood wall and crossing her arms.

There was brief flicker, like a smile, on Joseph’s lips and he nodded. “You get used to the stubbornness. Rook, my dear, you are not going to risk your life on the off-chance of receiving information. If I can’t trust you to stay, I’ll lock you in the bunker until  this blows over.”

Rook fell silent and even Jacob raised a brow at his brother’s threat. John barked a laugh and  sympathetically patted Rook’s shoulder. 

“ Wha \- You can’t do that!”

“I can and I will. Rook, we know almost nothing about this. What if they wanted to be overheard? If you leave this place, you don’t know what could happen. If it’s really you they’re after, we need to have a solid plan. That starts with you staying here where no one can reach you.”

Rook looked like he’d been thrown into icy water and he sat down with a frown. Jacob sighed in relief, glad that at least one sibling could get through Rook’s thick skull.

“You know I took over this entire place on my own, right?” John rolled his eyes.

“Yes, and you can show us where the weak spots are so that we can prepare ourselves if they come to our doorstep.”  Joseph reached out to take Rook’s hand, rubbing his knuckles. “I know you want to run out guns blazing but whatever this is, it’s trying to root itself.” 

“I can’t just sit there while this happens.”

“You have to. Please, Rook, do this for me.” Joseph gazed at him with desperation, something R ook wasn’t used to. He couldn’t say no.

“Alright, fine. I’ll stay here, but I’m not getting locked up underground. That’s... that’s not happening. I’ve had enough of that for a life time.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Joseph wanted to kiss him, reassure him everything would be alright, but they had company. He glanced at Jess but the young lady was expressionless, watching them under the edge of her hood. “I’ll give you both some privacy. Jacob, I believe you have someone to check up on.”

Jacob grunted something like a yes. He stood and patted Rook’s back, like he understood the turmoil in him, but staying put was the best course of action even if he wanted to see Rook tear those assholes apart. 

“John,” Joseph drawled when his younger brother didn’t move his ass. 

“I’m still  _ eating _ .” Joseph gave him a look that spared no excuse. “Ugh, yes, Joseph , ” and with a groan he took his plate and emptied it in the dog bowl. Boomer was on it in a heartbeat. John looked longingly at his lost food before putting the plate down and walking out with Joseph.

“I don’t know how you all function,” Jess said, watching the door they’d left through and sitting down opposite Rook .

“With a  fuckton of  coffee and luck. You think they’re right?”

“ Unfortunately so. Out there, who knows what’s waiting for you. This place is defendable, your car isn’t.”

Rook sighed and scraped what was on his plate into Peaches’ bowl, holding Boomer by his collar so he didn’t throw himself at it as well. The big cat meowed and purred, digging in as Boomer whined as if he h adn’t just eaten.

“How have you and Grace been?”

“Good. The bunker’s just like how I remembered it. Getting food for the fish has been a pain, hard to get these days. Still, life could be worse. I could be stuck here with three Seeds.” There was a rare smile under her hood and Rook couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It’s not so bad. I mean, John and Joseph are mine so-”

“Yours, as in?” The meaning dawned on her and she smirked. “Jesus, Rook, bit of a dick- slut aren’t you?”

Rook flushed red. He’d never heard Jess say something like that. “I, uh... A bit, maybe. They’re hot, okay? I’m allowed to have interests.”

“Jacob’s not one of your interests? The dude must feel left out. Not that I give a shit.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Uh huh, so the bed’s not big enough-”

“Jess! Jesus, since when do you talk like that?” 

She shrugged. “Grace is a  terrible influence. Speaking of, hopefully she finds something about this whole mess. I like you, Dep. Don’t want to see your head blown off.”

“Thanks. I think.”

“Anytime. I should head off, Grace wanted me to snoop around town.” She scooted her chair back and stood, looking down at Rook. “You listen to them. Keep your ass here. I’ll catch you around, Rook.”

“Yeah, you take care, Jess.” 

She saluted him on her way out, shutting the door behind her. Rook knew he should stay here but he knew he could also draw them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts :)


	38. Bend it till it snaps

Staci woke up warm and wrapped up in someone’s arms. He didn’t want to open his eyes, he wanted to bask in that sleepiness and enjoy whoever was holding him. The size of the arms, their strength, the solid body- they didn’t belong to Jacob. No, he’d remember what it felt like to wake up in Jacob’s arms for the rest of his life. The room smelled faintly like the soldier, of smoke and pine, but the person beside him was different. A similar mix of the mountains and gun oil but sweeter, fresher like they’d walked through bliss in the morning mist. He could tell all this because his face was  smushed up against their chest, nose buried in the soft fabric of their shirt.

Staci put the puzzle pieces together, drowsy and waking up fully much to his chagrin, and understood that the Chosen had decided to join him in bed . He wasn’t complaining, the guy was cute and a total charmer. And most importantly, he’d found a way to calm Staci down from two separate anxiety attacks during the day and night. 

He’d been there at the centre the whole time Staci was with Jacob, always watching silently. Staci had never seen the man kill, but he’d caught him coming back from missions soaked in something else’s blood and a  hunting bow shouldered. The Chosen were terrifying, people to truly be feared. Staci didn’t know if they went through the trials too and he didn’t want to ask. 

Jacob had stayed with them for a while, listening to Alex’s stories and coaxing Staci to join in. The Deputy was lulled by their voices, melting with Jacob’s touch instead of pulling away disgusted. He hated how dependent he was on the contact, how it eased his nerves to have his tormentor there. It felt like he’d never win. 

Alex’s arm stirred and Staci heard the turning of a page close to his ear. He was reading something and holding Staci at the same time. Talk about considerate, he thought, nuzzling closer. In the quiet moments, he couldn’t care about how he looked. Sure, he was in bed with a Peggie but his recent ventures were far worse. 

He realised solemnly that he shouldn’t have moved at all. Alex pulled back slightly to look at his face. 

“Did I wake you?”

Staci looked up, meeting his warm eyes, and shook his head. There was something about Alex, a kindness that seemed so dislocated from what the Chosen were. Staci knew life  wasn’t black and white, that killers had hearts and  Peggies were capable of being nice. It just made him feel strange, it meant he couldn’t fit into either black or white either. 

“Why are you in my bed?” That was a good question. Staci remembered Alex sitting in that chair all day and night.

“You wanted me to this morning. After I came back, you asked me to join you.” It explained the fresh bliss-mist smell on his clothes. “I can go if you want.”

“No,” Staci whined before he could stop himself. He breathed out through his nose angrily. Why was he always so weak? Couldn’t he just take it like a man and face life? 

“Okay,” the  Chosen said simply, oblivious to the fight in Staci’s head. His arm went to return over Staci.

“No, I know that’s not comfortable. Just... get comfy first.”

Alex shrugged and laid on his back, pulling at the pillow he was resting on so he could have his head higher to read. Once he stopped  fidgeting , Staci curled up against his side and threw an arm over his tiny waist.

“Thanks for taking care of me,” he mumbled on his ribs, accidentally tickling the man and making him squirm . He adjusted his head, resting it up on his chest. The Peggie didn’t mind.

“It’s alright. Part of the job.”

“It really isn’t.”

Alex sighed, a little laugh escaping him. “Yeah, true. But I know what you’re going through and I know it’s nice to have someone there.”

It piqued Staci’s curiosity and although he hadn’t wanted to ask, now the question burned on his mind.

“Did you go through the same shit?”

“All the Chosen do. Those who don’t want to join have to be converted but people like me, we get all the extreme training it takes to be better than what the Project wants.”

“You wanted to join?”

“I wanted to be on the winning side. Anyways, you didn’t get a chance to meet him but we had this guy, Patrick, who always looked after us after the training. Jacob did too, but Patrick  gave us extra rations and whatever support we needed. I like doing the same thing.”

Staci nodded. If only he’d had someone like that, and not Jacob. He yawned and stretched his legs, and Alex surprised him by tangling his own between Staci’s. The Deputy didn’t look up, didn’t want to see whatever look Alex was giving him. Whether it was pity or something else.

“Do you regret  joining the cult?”

“I’m just glad I’m not one of those poor souls crucified on the roadside,” was all Alex said before he fell silent and resumed reading. The book was close enough to read and it  was  certainly what Staci would call contraband in the cult. Fictional fantasy, something about dragons and fighting. The book was old and dog-eared, and Alex handled it like he might the Book of Joseph. It mattered to him, this piece of writing that Jacob might have had him shot for not long ago. Maybe Staci was pushing it. Jacob wasn’t a tyrant but the book certainly would’ve disappeared.

He nuzzled the warm body and let sleep take over. He didn’t dream of anything, he never did anymore because otherwise it meant visiting his past.

\---

Jacob wasn’t quite sure what to make of the scene that greeted him when he went to his room. He’d sent the Chosen away to eat something and let him return to his guard-duty after, but this wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he said to care for Pratt.

“Jacob, Sir-” Alex stammered under Jacob’s scrutiny, slapping the book shut. He wanted to crawl away but Staci had an iron grip. “It’s not what it looks like. I wasn’t- He just needed-”

“Shut up,” Jacob grunted, closing the door behind him so no one could peek inside the room. He didn’t need word of this getting out to the  Peggies , that it was okay to touch what was his.  At the sound of the door, Staci woke up. He immediately noticed the tension in the room, glancing between Jacob and the Chosen. It sparked in him what Jacob probably thought.

“He was just keeping me company,” Staci blurted out, hoping to ease the rising anger in Jacob. Alex was like a rock beneath him, so tense it must’ve hurt.

“Yeah, I can see that. Have I really lost my touch? I mean, last I checked you worked for me and you obeyed my orders. ” Jacob’s voice was low, calm, every bit as terrifying as he could make it. “ Tell me, Alex, when did I ask you to sleep with him? Hmm?”

“You didn’t, Sir,” the Chosen answered carefully. He knew to answer only what had been asked, defending himself wasn’t an option.

“That’s what I thought too.” Jacob crossed the space to the bed and Staci pulled away, shrinking back to the edge. Alex stayed very still, wishing he could disappear. “Get the fuck out of my bed, you shit.”

The Chosen nodded, whispered, “Yes, Sir,” and crawled out. He stood in front of Jacob, dwarfed in comparison to the soldier’s bulk, and stared  forward  hard . His eyes came up to Jacob’s collar and he made sure to fixate only on that and not the heated glare above. 

“I hope you ate plenty at breakfast because you can forget about food for the next... oh, I don’t know, three days?”

Alex paled, his eyes shooting up to Jacob. Their rations were already so meagre. “Please, Sir-”

“You were one of my favourites, Alex. Top of the class.” Jacob shook his head, like he was a parent disappointed at his kid’s F grade. “That doesn’t excuse you from this.  You have no right to touch him, let alone use my bed for  _ that _ -”

“Leave him alone, Jacob,” Staci butted in. He sat up, the blankets bunched in his lap, and he shouldn’t have that much authority or power to shut the soldier up but it worked. “Do you seriously think sex is on my mind right now? Are you that stupid?”

Alex could not have gotten paler but he managed it. In fact, he looked  downright sick. Jacob frowned and crossed his arms, staring down at Staci like nothing had changed between them and they were back at the centre. Staci, on the other hand, felt alive.

“He was making sure I was okay. I asked him to get in the bed.  H e was doing his job. I heard you tell  him  to do whatever it takes to calm me down, and guess what? Having someone next to me helped.”

Jacob looked back at Alex and grabbed his chin, forcing their eyes to meet again . It amazed Staci how calm the Chosen was but he was willing to bet the man’s heart was beating a thousand miles per hour.

“Is that true?”

“Yes, Sir. I never touched him. I promise.”

Jacob hummed thoughtfully and dropped his hand. He clapped Alex’s shoulder. “Alright, I believe you.”

Staci could feel the Chosen’s relief in his soul. “Thank you, Sir. Umm, about the rations?”

“ There’ s no punishment if you did nothing wrong. Now, go, get the fuck out of my room. Go back to your usual duties.”

“Yes, Sir. Thank you.” Alex didn’t look back at Staci. He bolted for the door and shut it behind him in a flash.  He ended up forgetting his book on the bed and Staci pulled it out of sight under a pillow when Jacob was distracted.

Staci planned on finding him later to  give it back . He looked up to Jacob. “You were going to starve him.”

Jacob shrugged and sat down on the chair beside the bed, stretching his legs and crossing his ankles. His boots were always muddy and the dirt flaked on the hardwood floor. 

“I thought he’d raped you.”

Staci scoffed. “Yeah,  cause I’d just cuddle him right after. You’re just jealous-”

“You did with me,” Jacob pointed out. He hated not having something in his hands as he talked, so he pulled out a cigarette. He wasn’t going to light it, not indoors where Joseph could sniff it out like a hound. 

“That wasn’t... It wasn’t the same. You didn’t rape me.”

“I don’t remember you saying yes the first few times. Didn’t stop me. I don’t know why, it should’ve.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Staci defended, because it really wasn’t quite as clear as Jacob wanted it to be. “I mean, the first time I hated you. Wanted it to stop but it was the only nice human contact I’d had in weeks.”

Jacob twirled the paper between his fingers, focused on that rather than Staci’s face. He couldn’t look at him and listen to that admission. “Stop trying to be nice. I hurt you, more than I ever meant to. Look, I don’t... Shit, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”

“Because you’re a dick and you’re finally realising this?” 

Jacob chuckled humourlessly and nodded. “That’s me.”

“Look, I hate you for the trials and the shit you made me do. The first month with you, or however long it was, was absolute hell. But it wasn’t so bad afterwards. Once you treated me like a person, it got easier. Yeah, the first time we fucked all I kept thinking were ways to kill you while you were distracted. But then you kept coming back and you were nicer to me...” Staci trailed off, glancing out of the window just by his head and watching the pines sway in the wind.

“Damn, hearing you say that makes me realise how much I fucked you up. I wasn’t trying to be nice, Peaches, I wanted to break you. Fucking you, making you my bitch- how much would that break your spirit? That’s all I was thinking.”

“Your apology was going so well,” Staci sneered. He shouldn’t have expected any less.

“I’m not looking for forgiveness, I don’t fucking deserve it.” That made Staci finally look at him and he wish he didn’t. Jacob’s eyes were red, wetness making his cheekbones shine, and his shoulders shook a little. 

“Did you ever, for a moment, care about me? As a person, not some fuck toy.”

Jacob’s breath hitched and he gulped wetly, tilting his head up to the ceiling. “Yes.”

“When?”

“When I realised that you changed, when you stopped fighting me and you let me in your room without question. I mean, I never asked you to kiss me. That was one thing I was never going to force because to me, kissing means a lot. It’s not- Fuck!” Jacob was torn, he wanted to sob and let everything that he’d bottled up just come out. But he didn’t want to be weak either. He ended up crushing the cigarette in two and the tobacco fell out onto his fingers.

Staci’s conditioning left no impact. Normally, he’d want to reach out. Anything to help his captor was a positive thing but something was holding him back. Maybe his subconscious was taking the wheel for once and it knew to let Jacob suffer.

“I manipulated you too,” Staci admitted, sitting on his knees and staring at the flannel blanket and tracing the lines with his index finger. “I thought if I played into it, made you think I was into you then you’d stop being such a cunt.”

“That kiss was fake, wasn’t it?” Jacob’s voice wavered and he sounded as if on the edge of a breakdown. Staci wasn’t sure if he wanted to push him. “See, I thought it was real. You played me well, Peaches.”

“Yeah, well, next time some guy barges into your room drunk and starts groping you, you let me know how you react. I did what I needed to survive. Being good, doing what you told me, touching you- Those were all things I had to do.”

“You were always strong. Did you ever  _ want  _ to?” Jacob wasn’t sure why he wanted the answer, it would probably upset him further but the truth had started spilling and it was difficult to stop.

“Sometimes, when you put my needs before yours.” Staci shrugged. “You weren’t awful every day, just some days.”

“You asked me if I cared for you? I know it’s a stupid question but do you- I mean, did you ever?” 

“It’s fucked up but yeah, I did care.  When you treated me like a human  being, it was nice to be around you.”

Jacob nodded to himself and stood to toss the crushed cigarette in the waste basket. He wiped his hands on his jeans, avoiding the mirror on the wall as he walked back to the bed. “Do you know what Stockholm syndrome is?”

Staci scoffed, of course he did.  “I didn’t fall for you, Jacob. I admit I cared towards the end but there was nothing more to it.”

“I’m not surprised. But there’s a different version that affects the  _ bad  _ person , Lima syndrome, and I definitely fell for you. I didn’t mean for it to happen but just, one day,” he gestured vaguely towards Staci, his voice breaking further. “There were days I just wanted it all to stop, you know? And now, we’re here and you’re risking your life and hurting your friends just to stop what I created.”

“You’re talking about the conditioning,” Staci realised, glancing up at Jacob again. He had so many questions and accusations, so many things to get off his chest but they were all shut down so quickly.

“ There’ s no cure.”

Hearing the words aloud al most sent Staci into an anxiety attack. He could feel his heart race and he fought hard to keep his breathing slow when all he wanted was to gulp in air. 

“You broke me permanently,” he whimpered, tucking his knees close to his chest and holding them tight. Jacob knelt before him, holding his hands up towards him like he expected to be rejected. He wasn’t ready for Staci to lash out and kick him in the chest,  though,  making him stumble back on his ass.

“You fucking broke me! ” Staci screamed, his face red and eyes watering. “ All of this was for nothing! I’m not your soldier or your toy, I’m a human being and you fucking tortured me for nothing! You can’t even fix me, you can’t fix me-” Staci repeated again and again, burying his head between his knees.

“I’m sorry, Staci.”

Staci  fell silent . He unravelled himself and pushed off the bed, grabbing the book. He stood above Jacob who hadn’t moved from the floor before heading out the door.

“Where are you going?” Jacob followed him, down the stairs and into the empty hall. He wanted to stop Staci from shoving his boots on and Staci was almost on the front steps outside when Jacob grabbed his arm. Staci spun round so fast, grabbing the red knife from Jacob’s belt, and pushed him back against the door. He held the blade to  Jacob’ s throat and heard the  Peggies ’ guns click but there was no fear in his eyes.

“Don’t you fucking touch me.” 

Jacob held up his hands defensively, entirely believing that Staci would slit his throat in a heartbeat. “Okay, whatever you want, Peaches.”

The grip on the knife tightened and the Deputy glared at him. “My name is Staci Pratt.”

He pulled the knife away and stepped back, releasing his grip on Jacob’s shirt. He glanced down at the blade, weighed it in his hands, and turned to throw it in the bushes on the edge of the yard. Staci looked back at Jacob.

“You will fix this. I am not going to live my life in fear of blacking out and killing my friends. I won’t let you get away with that. Find a way, I don’t care how. If there’s a trial to reverse this, I’ll do it, but you will fix me.”

Jacob nodded mutely, pressed against the door, and watched as Staci went up to one of the  Peggies . Stace batted the rifle away from his chest like a toy and the Peggie let him, startled as much as his fellow men.

“There’s a Chosen called Alex. Where is he?”

“He’s preparing for a hunting party. In the plane hangar.” The Peggie even sounded scared and he glanced up at Jacob for help, but Staci was already walking away. The other guards were watching Jacob for an explanation but the Herald went back inside, slamming the door behind him.

\---

“Hey, Alex! Alex, hold up,” Staci yelled from across the landing strip. He could see the Chosen team disappearing into the edges of the woods and they stopped to look back. Staci ran up to the five men but up close, he could hardly tell any of them apart with their faces covered. “I just  wanna talk to Alex, just for a moment.”

The leader glanced at one man,  singling him out from the group. “You’ve got five minutes, catch up quick. Alright, let’s move out.” 

The rest of the group started marching off, soon blending in with the trees and underbrush. Alex pulled his black face mask  down , having changed into a more military outfit with more pockets and an enormous bag on his back.

“Where’s Jacob?”

“Not here. It’s just us. Look, I-” 

Staci’s words cut off as Alex threw himself at him. It took a second to realise the Chosen was hugging him. Staci  held the book with one hand and rubbed  Alex’s side firmly, his access to Alex’s back blocked by the bag. When Alex pulled back, he was smiling shyly.

“You really saved my ass back there. We don’t- It’s not a thing to argue against Jacob so thank you, because without you I would’ve starved and, well, I don’t know what would’ve happened.  So thanks, really.”

“Yeah, well you helped me out too. It’s only fair, I mean you had to deal with me last night. Can’t have been easy.”

Alex held him at arm’s length and he glanced back to the party. Staci couldn’t see them but he was sure Alex could tell them apart from the scenery. After a couple seconds, he turned back with another smile and held out his hand.

“Friends?”

Staci shook it, smiling too because this wasn’t planned. He'd just wanted to check up on him. “Definitely. Friends.”

“I’ve got to go. Listen, I’ll be back in a few days. A week at most. Would you...” The Chosen trailed off with an awkward chuckle.

“I’ll come back in a week,” Staci finished for him and Alex grinned, before he toned it down to a little smile.  “Oh, I’ve got your book. Want me to keep it safe for you?”

The Chosen’s eyes landed on the novel and lit up even more.  “ Could you? That would be really great.  We can, umm, we can chat then. Alright, I’ll see you when I’m back.” Alex hugged him one last time and Staci knew he was lingering, so he patted his shoulder. “Okay, bye, Staci.” 

And then Alex was waving goodbye and jogging after his teammates. After a minute, Staci lost sight of him and started heading back to the ranch so he could talk to Rook and drive home.


	39. Oh the Bliss

Rook woke up to hammering. It was a constant, loud noise that made him flip his pillow over his head and groan. Boomer whined at the foot of the bed, his  paws padding over to the door and scratching it. The Deputy knew he had no chance of going back to sleep now, so he chucked off the blankets and opened the door. Boomer ran to the bottom of the hallway, trotting down the stairs until he reached the hall doors. Rook had barely shoved his sweatshirt over his head when his dog barked loudly to be let out. 

“Yeah, I know, I know.” He let Boomer run out into the garden and watching groggily as the dog ran in circles, sniffing at everything before deciding what spot to use. 

A Peggie was just coming around the corner, arms full of gardening supplies for the vegetable patch they had growing by the shed. She glanced at Boomer and then to Rook, a smile lifting the corners of her pale lips.

“You’re up early,” she said, adjusting the weight of the compost bags and tools. Rook would’ve liked to help but he was barefoot and the gravel was a threat. “I wonder why.”

He hummed sarcastically, chuckling as Boomer barked and went to investigate something else. The Peggie moved on, disappearing down to the shed where Rook had once waited an afternoon in to take over the ranch during nightfall. The hammering was still going, somewhere up on the roof, and Rook went back inside. The window on the roof was slowly being covered by wooden planks. They were starting to defend the weak spots, he realised. 

As he walked around the property, borrowing John’s plush slippers, things were being covered up with wood and metal plating. The noise only grew louder throughout the day, pausing until at lunchtime. 

By nightfall, every blind corner, every door and lock, absolutely anything that someone might use or break to get into the ranch was reinforced. The guards had changed  their patrol routes and more had been driven in, blocking every exit. Rook tried to memorise it all. 

After dinner, he went straight to bed with Joseph. Boomer curled up on the rug by the bed and only once Joseph was deeply asleep, Rook dared to leave the room. 

\---

Boomer whined and Rook hushed him quietly as he snuck out, making sure the dog wasn’t able to follow. If things went wrong, he didn’t want to risk anyone else’s life. The  Peggies had done a good job but Rook knew of one spot they had missed. 

He dumped his rucksack onto the floor of John’s office and starting prying the planks from the broken window. They creaked in protest but they came off, one by one, with the hammer Rook had  nicked from the toolbox of some Peggie. He laid them down carefully and glanced back at the closed door, listening for any noise. When he heard nothing, he hooked his  grapple to the frame, shouldered his bag, and started climbing down.

Someone was patrolling close by and he waited until they were out of sight before dropping to the ground. He left the rope. They would know he’d left by morning, maybe Jacob would be proud of his ingenuity, and if he needed a quick silent way back in...

With the bushes and trees budding in the spring, he had enough cover to make it down t o t he shed. He walked from there down to Nick’s house, clinging to the shadows and natural slopes. A Peggie had been assigned to keep the house maintained if Nick ever decided to come back. It had been Rook’s request and he could see a small light through the living room window.

Rook took a wide detour around the property in case they decided to peek out. There was a car parked on the edge of the road, just where it turned into the front yard. It likely belonged to the housekeeper but Rook felt no guilt about stealing it. His own car was locked up where Jacob knew he couldn’t take it back.

The keys were hidden behind the sun visor, dropping into his lap noisily with a jingle. He checked behind him, nervous that the owner might run out any second and alert the Seeds. He waited for a couple seconds before starting up the engine and rolling down the dirt road. No one chased him as he headed up towards Falls End.

Whoever was after him knew his route and he always passed through the main road on his way up to the centre. There wasn’t much room for change in Holland Valley but Rook knew about all the little roads and overgrown paths he could take is things went sour. As he drove through the tiny town, slowing his speed because of the locals, he realised the people who wanted him wouldn’t recognise his car. Rook had to make it obvious it was him driving and that meant showing his face. He pulled up in front of the bar. What better place to reveal himself than at a crowd?

Mary May had other ideas. Her eyes widened as he stepped through the doorway and she rounded the bar so quickly she might as well have jumped over it. She didn’t say anything but grabbed his wrist and pulled him back into the kitchen pantry. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” She hissed, letting go of him.

“Hi to you too. Look, Jess told me everything.” Rook rubbed his arm where she’d gripped too tight.

She threw her hands up in exasperation. “Then why are you here? These guys want to hurt you and they’re here now! Rook, I swear to God, whatever hare-brained scheme you’ve got going on, I want no part in it.”

“It’s alright, I just need to lure them out. I’ve got a plan.” Rook shrugged. People should be used to his way by now, it’s how he defeated the cult.

“What’s the plan?” 

“What?”

She crossed her arms and blocked the exit. “What’s the plan? Come on, you’re so certain of yourself so tell me.”

Rook chuckled nervously. “I’m  gonna drive them out, find who they are, kill them if I have to.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed, Rook. Just go home, please. You’ll be safe there.”

“I’ll be fine. Please, Mary May, just let me do what I do best.”

“Being a dumbass?”

Rook sighed, a smile playing up, and Mary May couldn’t help herself from punching his shoulder. “You’re lucky I don’t have the ranch frequency  ‘cause I’d call up your boyfriend and keep you here till he can fetch you.”

“That’s... Please, don’t do that. Alright, I’m going to go flash my pretty face around and then I’m going to go. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

Mary May didn’t seem impressed nor did it look like she believed a word. Still she moved aside and guided Rook back into the bar with a hand on his back. She prayed this wouldn’t be their last encounter. She went back behind the counter and took over from her assistant, keeping an eye on Rook as he chatted up with the locals. The ones from before , Windbreaker and Cap, were watching as well and a moment after Rook left, they stood and followed out.

\---

Rook was alone on the road up to Rae Rae’s farm until he wasn’t. Headlights turned on behind him as he went around a corner and the vehicle followed at a steady pace, never going too fast or lagging. On a normal day, Rook might have thought nothing of it but every turn he took, they were always right there even when he chose different , unpopular routes.

There was a dirt path up to a small cabin just before hitting the farm. The road looped around the trees, dipping down the hills, and emerged just by the orchards. No one used it except hunters and the occasional hiker. He pulled into the drive and cut the engine. The headlights were getting closer so he grabbed his ba g and went straight into the cabin. It had belonged to Robert according to the mailbox , whoever that was, and that’s all Rook knew except the stash behind the house. 

He went inside, pistol aimed forward as he cleared the main room and bathroom. The vehicle that was following churned up gravel and Rook heard the engine cut. He snuck out through a side door and went to the stash, a hole in the ground covered by a pallet. He lifted it and hid under, peering through the slates as voices whispered just around the corner of the cabin.

“Keep your guard up.”

Rook ducked down further as someone patrolled around the back of the house. He got a good look at him; dark hair, thick beard, wearing a thick navy jacket and a shotgun in his hands. There were more casings on a bullet belt strapped across his chest. Rook shoved a hand over his mouth and nose as the man came closer and then went on around the other side.

“Anything?”

“Nah, fucker’s not here. I’ll call in the guys, we’ll get a search party going. He can’t have gotten far.”

“Alright, you stay here. I’m  gonna search the woods.”

A flashlight shined out against the trees, shaking badly before the owner steadied his grip and started heading up the path Rook was planning on taking. He heard the other use his radio so he pushed back the pallet and climbed out to follow the one with the flashlight.

“Hey, it’s me, we got a location. Bring the dogs, we’ll need ‘ em .” 

The rest of the conversation faded as Rook stalked through the forest. He was higher up than the other man but he knew exactly where he was because of the light. The outcrop he walked on was coming to an end so he slowed and went up behind the man. He lunged out, one hand covering the man’s mouth and his other arm coming around his throat to choke him. The man was strong but Rook had surprise on his side. After a minute of struggling, the man slumped to his knees and gasped for air as Rook let go. 

“Who are you? What do you want with me?”

The man wheezed out a laugh but his eyes were wide and fearful as  R ook squatted down and pressed a knee down on his sternum. He kept up the pressure until it was unbearably painful and the man cried out weakly.

“Tell me.”

“You’re going to pay for what you did. We’re going to make you pay, you fucker.”

“The fuck  are you talking about?”

The engines of several trucks roared in the distance, back towards the cabin, and Rook heard barking and yelling.

“It’s too late. We’ll catch you and you’ll pay. We’re going to gut you and string you up right in front of Joseph Seed. And then we’ll kill him and his fucking Heralds one by one like you should’ve done.” The man suddenly reached out and grabbed a fistful of Rook’s hair and tugged him down to his face. “God hates liars.”

The barking was getting closer and the man wasn’t letting go. Rook knew the time was up so he punched him in the nose hard, breaking it on impact, and pushed away so he could sprint into the woods.

He had no clue what to make of the short conversation. Sure, people were pissed at him for not killing the Seeds but he wasn’t the only one to blame. That guy couldn’t just place it all on Rook’s shoulders and force him to bear all the burden.

The dogs weren’t far away but neither was the bridge. Rook was a good swimmer, even in the dark he knew he could make it across to the other side and buy himself some time. He checked the straps of his bag across his chest, made sure his pistol was attached properly, and then he was wadding his way through the shallow water until it reached his waist. It was freezing cold, lapping softly at him, but as he looked back, the dogs weren’t willing to cross and the men on the shore weren’t either. But they could see him and where he was going.

As he reached the shoreline, the bridge creaked under the weight of their vehicles and Rook could see their headlights flooding the road and trees. He wouldn’t escape that easily, not without going to Dutch’s island  s o he went back into the water . The trucks weren’t following him there but he could see people patrolling the main road. Soon the dogs were sent out again.

Rook ran all the way across the island, going around the entrance of the bunker, and back to the shore so he could swim all the way to Joseph’s island. He’d be safer there, Emma would help him. Exhausted and drenched, he pulled himself up to the beach and collapsed by a tree to catch his breath. Everything was soaked and he hoped his gun would work properly.

After a couple minutes to catch his breath, Rook got up and headed towards the church. He still had a while to go but he could see it, the steeple between the pines and the barrel fires dotted in the camp. He was so close that when the bullet struck his shoulder, all he felt was anger and annoyance. 

Rook threw himself down and crawled into the bushes. He grabbed his pistol and aimed it at the nearest shooter, hitting them in the chest. They fell back and someone else took their place with a dog at their heel. The dog was barking up a storm and Rook barely managed to  kill it before it reached him, jaw wide open to tear off a limb.

Something felt wrong, he realised, as he pushed himself up and ran towards the church. Half a mile was nothing, he could do it, but his body was becoming sluggish and his vision swayed. He wasn’t bleeding that much, the bullet had pierced through the meat of his arm and impacted in a tree. There was a sparkle in his eyes, twinkling lights that danced across his periphery.

Bliss. 

It wasn’t a normal bullet.

The world was getting harder to navigate and he tripped over branches and roots, stumbling against the trees for support as his body gave in to the drug. The people were closer now, a few metres away and catching up as Rook fell and tried to crawl away. A boot landed heavily on his spine, knocking air from his lungs with a wheeze, and it held him in place as the bliss took over and darkened his sight until he could only hear distorted murmurs and see the church so, so close. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought!


	40. Blackout

Waking up tied to a chair was becoming too common in Rook’s opinion. He felt the rope  and  flex ed his fingers to test the knot. His legs and arms were bound tightly and the rope looped around his torso, restraining him completely. He glanced around the room he’d woken up in, bare concrete walls and only one metal door with a slide window. A cell. There was old blood on the ground, flecked and splattered in various directions around his chair. That was all to the room, no cameras or possible weapons. Rook shouldn’t have expected more but he sighed.

His shoulder throbbed in pain but the bleeding had stopped by itself. The bullet wasn’t a blank filled with bliss, it must have been dipped or coated in the drug. Whoever had shot him wasn’t a professional, certainly not someone who was used to the cult’s perfectioned methods.

He wasn’t sure how long passed before he heard scuffling beyond the door. Muffled voices drifted under the metal but Rook couldn’t understand what they were saying. Eventually a key turned in the lock and the door creaked open. The barrel of a hunting rifle poked through the gap before the door opened fully and the man in the windbreaker barged in.

“You’ve got the whole family riled up, Deputy. You  ain’t even been gone two days and Joseph’s already got scouts looking for you.” The man sneered and shut the door, leaning his rifle against the wall. “I bet if he could  still  make ‘ em , there’d been hourly broadcasts on every radio.”

Rook frowned and tried not to let shock settle. He was out a lot longer than he thought. Shit. 

“What do you want with me?”

“You’ve fucked  us  over, Deputy. All these people who counted on you, asked you for help- you just threw it all away to suck Joseph’s dick. I know you won’t remember me but I was there at the Lumber Mill when you freed the prisoners. Now, I don’t get emotional often but that day I cried like a baby. I thought, Hallelujah, God’s sent someone to help me. And you kept doing it, you saved lives upon lives, and then one day  after the bombs  I see you in town with the Seeds.”

“The night the lights went back on,” Rook mumbled, dread replacing whatever was mixing up in him. 

“Bingo! I figured they took you hostage or something but I saw the way you held onto him. I kept my eye on you and I realised they’d all lived. All the bastards who’d destroyed our county, made a goddamn warzone out of my backyard- You lied, Deputy. To all of us. You gloated about how they were gone for good. You’re spitting on the graves of every man, woman, and child, who died in this fight.”

“I never asked to be the hero!” Rook yelled. He could feel his sin bubbling up as the man kept piling on the guilt and accusations. The other startled. “I got thrown into this mess, I never once said I wanted to be the chosen one. I don’t know why the resistance picked me as their poster boy, all I did was escape the cult by luck.” He took a deep breath. 

The man stepped closer and leaned over Rook, placing a hand on the back of the chair for support. “You betrayed us.”

“You should be thanking me! If it wasn’t for me, you’d all still be fighting. I changed the Seeds, made them into better people. What did you do? Cower in a bunker and stalk out someone you could blame everything on? I won’t accept it. I don’t answer to you and I will never apologise for what I’ve done.” 

“You think they love you, don’t you? You’re their sweet pet they can always play with. See, I know Jacob played with you. His little mind games are just so... ingrained.” The man grabbed an old MP3 player from his jacket. “It’s not as good as his box but it will have to do.” 

He shoved the buds roughly in Rook’s ears and placed the player in a breast pocket. The man turned back to the door and opened it, stepping out for a moment before dragging John into the cell. The youngest Seed was shaking with anger, his hair dishevelled and face flushed red.

“Let me go, you fucking Sinner,” John growled, fighting against the man’s hold. The ropes around his wrists were cut away but before John could attack, he was shoved down on the ground. By the time he was up, the rifle was pointed at his chest.

“John...” Rook whispered, not believing his eyes.

“There’s an MP3 in his pocket. Press play.”

“And why would I do that?” John argued.

The gun remained in the air but the man’s finger slipped down to the trigger. “I will shoot you and you will still do it. The only difference is you’ll have an extra hole. Do it.”

“John, don’t. It’s Jacob’s song,” Rook warned, struggling against his bonds but they gave no slack.

John approached slowly and took the player in hand. He could see the name scrolling across the screen so he pressed next. The song came back. It was the only thing on the player. Rook was pleading him, shaking his head.

“Fine, I’ll shoot your pet,” the man countered, aiming at Rook. He fired and struck Rook’s shoulder again, lower than the last bullet. 

“Fuck!”

“Stop!” John held up the player and raised the other defensively. “I’ll do it.” 

Before Rook could stop him, gritting his teeth in pain and fighting back tears, John’s thumb hit the play button. The song started up and Rook felt his vision fading to black, pulsing and swaying as the conditioning took hold. He vaguely heard the door lock and John ripping the buds out. The player was crushed on the ground under John’s heel but the effects had already taken hold.

“Rook, Rook, listen to me. Stay with me, okay? I need you to listen to. Stay with me. __ Rook, just hang in-”

The blood was warm on his hands, wet and sticky and clinging to the callouses. He’d never get rid of it. The ropes were long since abandoned on the ground, stained red from the desperation to escape. The chair was in pieces and splintered across the cell. 

Somehow the song was still playing, vague and thin but lingering like the chill in his bones. There was so much blood. It mingled with his tears as he sobbed and curled up in a ball in the corner. He understood why the room was empty. Neither could defend themselves. He briefly wondered how many people had fallen into this trap, whether any had survived at all or if they all exited in body bags. 

His wrist was dislocated and hung limply but the pain was far away, smothered under the shock. Knuckles were split and his tongue was thick, all he could taste was blood like he’d bit into raw meat. Maybe he had, there was no telling anymore what he had or hadn’t done.

The heavy sickness weighed down his body and moments felt on the verge of death, until suddenly they didn’t and his adrenaline was rushing through his veins. It rose and fell dramatically and all John could do was curl up tighter and grip his legs for some sort of support.

Rook was on the other side of the room, lying in a puddle of blood and slumped on his side. His body hardly twitched anymore. John wanted to crawl closer, to check his pulse and pray Rook would someday recover. He wasn’t sure if he could ever look at the Deputy in the same light , not with pity and shame for what he and his family helped create.

After an hour or two, John felt it was time for the moment of truth. He forced himself up to his feet, using the wall, and stumbled to Rook. It felt rude to nudge the Deputy’s side with his boot but he needed to make sure the man wouldn’t leap up and attack him. When Rook didn’t move, John knelt beside him and turned him onto his back.

Rook’s head lolled limply and John  caught it before it could hit his knee. The Baptist leaned down and pressed an ear to Rook’s chest. The weak thumping made him breathe out shakily in relief and he grabbed one limp bloodied hand, rubbing it comfortingly. He ended up moving Rook’s body into a sitting position against his chest. He wrapped his arms around his partner and held him tight as he waited for someone to open the door.

\---

Joey Hudson’s case record had a total of two missing persons incidents. The first was some hiker who got lost in the mountains for two weeks and was brought to the nearest hospital by helicopter. The second was some teen who thought running away from her parents at fifteen was good idea. They found her at a friend’s house a few days later, totally unharmed but in a shitload of trouble.

She knew the drill; interview nearest family and friends, trace last steps, check common places the person might go. 

However, this was stunting. Rook was missing due to his own stupidity and John had disappeared as well, and they were likely together. No one knew where they could’ve gone, what had happened or when. Sometime in the night was Joseph’s answer. With Rook’s car in the yard, she couldn’t search for that. It left her trying to find clues for John because he had taken his own truck; black, large and obnoxiously expensive. But she didn’t want to find John, better to leave him alone wherever he was and let nature take its course. 

Something told her that Joseph would certainly not appreciate that and with Jacob sat beside her, a rifle set across his lap, she knew she had to do her best to find  both men. Jacob was talking on the radio for the past thirty minutes, listening to reports from every scout team he had scattered around the county. The manpower was impressive and Joey listened in.

“Got nothing by the marina. I’m headed down to the church, maybe Emma’s group will know something,” some Peggie said over the airwaves.

“Alright, sounds good. Get back to me when you can. Over and out.” Jacob placed the radio on the dash and sighed, stretching in the seat. 

“We’ll find them,” Joey said just to fill the silence. She hardly knew anything about Jacob except what Staci had told her. It made her keep an eye on him. She hated the Seeds but even she had to admit they had their uses.

He hummed in agreement and stared out of the window. They’d driven around the main roads, looping the region, and were heading through the town.

“Wait, slow down.” Jacob pointed at the bar. “Rook always takes this road but if he went at night in a different car-”

“He might have stepped out. Let’s talk to Mary May , she might know something .”

The bar was closed but the door left unlocked. It was the middle of the afternoon and Mary May was still busy cleaning up. The cook was dismissed, leaving her to mop up the spilled beer and double-check her income.

“We’re closed,” she called out from a table by the stairs. A ledger and calculator were sat on the table, along with a box of cash. “Don’t open till tonight.”

“Have you seen Rook?” Jacob asked, stalking right up to the bartender. Joey had better people skills and she smiled and said hello.

“Oh boy, I knew that kid was going to get in trouble. Yeah, he passed through last night. He wanted to set a trap for those guys after him. They followed. He’s missing, isn’t he?”

“ W e were wondering if you’d know where he might go,” Joey said softly, taking a seat opposite Mary May, a contrast to Jacob’s demanding stare-off and crossed arms. 

Mary May sighed and put her pen down. “No but those guys were here last night. I could describe them to you. They’ve been here a few times.”

“Please, it would be a great help.” 

Jacob pulled out a notepad from his army jacket and nicked the pen from the table. He looked up and nodded for Mary to start.

“Well, there’s only ever been two of them, always together. Both older guys, in their forties maybe. Dark beards, long hair- trucker guys. One’s got a navy jacket, like a big puffy one. He’s always wearing it. The other wears a baseball cap,  kinda tattered. Never heard their names but they knew about the kid you arrested,  Max or something. That’s all I got. I mean, they saw Rook and they left right after him.”

“Did you see a car?”

“No, I was busy serving. I’m sorry, I did try to stop him but he just wouldn’t listen.”

Joey took Mary’s hand. “It’s okay, we all know he’s a huge pain in the ass. Thank you, that was really helpful. We’ll let you know if we find anything.”

“Mary,” Jacob interrupted as he finished up his notes. “Are they always here? Those guys?”

“Uh, yeah, regulars for a while. Why?” 

Jacob turned to Joey. “We’ll come back tonight. If they show up, we’ll drag them out-”

“Whoa, hey, I don’t want any violence in here.”

Joey smiled tightly. “What he  _ means  _ is that we can arrest them. Suspicion of kidnapping with intent to harm. Perfectly legal and not violent.” She looked up at Jacob and the man sighed in defeat.

Mary May knew she wouldn’t get a better offer.  She watched as Jacob headed out right away without thanks or goodbyes, but Joey squeezed her hand before leaving. Wherever Rook was, surely someone was bound to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for all the random updates. I do try to keep them weekly but adult life exists too.  
> I've stepped back from this fic for a good month or so now but there's many chapters written ready to be published. There's still 128 pages on Word left to go up. 
> 
> Do let me know if you find faults or flaws in the storyline. Any criticism is appreciated even if it's not positive. I'd rather know than let it go unchecked :) And if you're enjoying the story, tell me! It makes my day brighter!! <3


	41. Retirement Plans

Joseph was strapping a thigh holster on when the party of Chosen came back early. He could see them in the yard and the leader was on the radio. He finished up and went outside, tapping the man’s shoulder.

“Father? I-” The Chosen turned back to the radio. “I’ll catch you up later. Over and out.”

“Did Jacob ask you to come back?” Joseph asked, looking around the group.

“Yes, sir. He said it was an emergency, that the Deputy was captured.”

Joseph nodded gravely. “It’s true and no progress has been made. That’s why I need your team. I’m going out  there and I’ll need protection.”

The Chosen’s eyes widened. “Father, are you sure that’s wise?”

“Rook is out there, we don’t know what condition he’s in. We need all the men we have searching for him and that includes me. I’ll finish packing and we’ll head out-”

“No.”

Joseph’s brow raised in a moment of shock, and it seemed no one else was prepared for the team leader’s decision. Still, the man did not budge.

“Excuse me?”

“Your safety is paramount, Father. I won’t allow you to leave.”

Joseph stepped closer, barely any space between them as he frowned. “Are you disobeying me?”

“I answer to Jacob and only to Jacob. He wouldn’t want you risking your life. I’m sorry, Father, but I won’t do this.”

The Chosen glanced among themselves nervously and any second they were expecting Joseph to snap. Instead, the preacher stepped back calmly. 

“If there is  nothing I can do to change your mind, then so be it. Your team may rest but I expect you all ready to jump in to help at any moment.” Joseph looked at them disappointingly before returning back inside. 

Joseph stayed hunched over the meeting table in the hall, staring emptily at maps and notes. He needed to be out there looking for Rook, not stuck inside because his followers worried about his safety. Screw his safety, Rook could be hurt.  Joseph was reaching for the pistol on the table, ready to ignore all warnings and head out, when the radio at his hip beeped.

“Joe, it’s Jacob. We’ve got a trail.”

The preacher grabbed it immediately. “What is it?”

“The barkeep down at the Spread Eagle said the guys following Rook are regulars. She’s open tonight so Hudson wants to arrest them. Quick and clean, according to her. Want me to bring them here?”

“Yes, alive,” Joseph said through gritted teeth. He wanted nothing more than to peel their skin himself.

“It’s a start, Joseph. We’ll find him. Keep your head up. I’ll call you if there’s anything else.”

“Thank you, Jacob.”

“He’s my friend too. Over and out.” 

Joseph sighed and clipped the radio back on his belt. All he could do was wait and he hated it.

\---

Earl Whitehorse had planned to retire after the Seed case was closed. It was always going to be messy involving higher authority, and a  fuckton of paperwork, but that was going to be his crowning moment. One last blast before he turned in the  badge he’d worn for forty-two years. It never happened and here he was, more than half a year later still trying to deal with the Seeds.

The only chatter over the radio waves was about Rook , and Earl worried, of course. The kid had a habit of tangling himself in trouble, always digging a deeper grave, and this was just another of those moments. Grace’s visit had convinced Earl that he was destined never to retire.

Earl took one man with him down to the lockup where they’d put the troublemaker with the knife. They used the mines for storing extra supplies where the cult couldn’t find it.  Call it a precaution.  The kid, Max, was there in one of the old offices. They’d given him a bed and a bucket, kept him fed, and a guard was always posted outside his door. 

Earl had interrogated him a couple times without much result. The kid hated Rook, called him a traitor to the resistance and a liar to the county. All of it talk that Earl couldn’t argue with at the end of the day but he was going to keep protecting the man who he’d call a son in a heartbeat. Regardless of his personal choices in life, Rook had done his best to fight the cult. This way was different but it brought peace nonetheless.

The guard unlocked the door for him, standing aside as the Sheriff went in to the office room. The kid was on the thin mattress, pulling out threads. 

“Figured you’d forgotten about me,” Max said, resting his arms on his knees as he sat back and looked at Earl. He was so young, too young to be caught up in an attempted murder. “What do you want now?”

“You spoke about your group once. A little band of resistance members bound on hurting Rook. I need names, Max.” 

The kid laughed hysterically, wiping away fake tears. “Uh, nope? Why would I do that? Oh, wait, did they get him? Holy shit, yes! I knew it, I knew they’d get him eventually. Did they kill him? Is the Deputy finally dead?”

It hurt Earl to hear such horrid words come from the teen. It made him wonder what happened to turn the kid into a psycho, though these days the options were varied and plentiful. 

“No. He’s not dead.” Earl stepped closer, kneeling in front of the kid. He’d never shown signs of violence towards anyone other than Rook. “Look, your pals have started something they can’t stop. The Seeds got all their people together and they’re hellbent on finding Rook. Every road, every  bridge , is flooded with cultists.”

Max looked uncomfortable, like he was worried and guilty but Earl knew that wasn’t the case. The kid had one thing on his mind and that was Rook’s end.

“The cult will find your friends. It’s only a matter of time, and you know what they’ll do to prisoners. Max, your friends will die. If you want them to live, you have to give me their names. All of them. If we can find them before the cult, we can keep them safe. Please, Max.”

“How do I know you won’t just hand them over to the cult?” The kid sounded unsure of his own words as if he was trying to argue for the sake of it. Earl sighed and took off his hat, placing it on the ground.

“You have my word. I don’t want this to end in bloodshed, that’s all that happens these days.”

“Okay. Just... I don’t want them to die.”

Earl sat down in his creaky chair and put his feet up on the desk. He poured himself some whiskey and downed it, ignoring the time of day, and grabbed the radio. 

“Th is is Sheriff Whitehorse. I have a message for Jacob Seed.”

Earl only waited a moment, during which he laid out the piece of paper with the names and location of the new resistance. 

“I’m here,” Jacob answered gruffly. 

“I have information you might consider useful. I have names and an address. But I need your promise that you will not kill whoever you find, you bring them straight to the prison and the law will take over.”

“You have my promise.”

Earl sighed and rubbed his eyes. He was too old and tired for this shit. “In the far South-East of Henbane region, there’s an old training yard the scouts used during the summer. You won’t find it on any new maps, they closed the place down in ‘96, but the buildings are still there.”

“Got it. Appreciate the help, Sheriff.” 

“Listen, Jacob, this needs to be clean,” Earl repeated as he started listing off the names. Max had been able to give him fifteen people, all ranging in age and skill, but they all had a burning hatred for Rook and the cult at the heart of them. “You got them all?”

“Hudson’s writing it down. Is that it?”

“Yeah, that’s all I could get. Was there anything on your end?”

“Two of them might be at the bar tonight. Hudson’s on the task.”

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do-”

Hudson mumbled something in the background but Earl couldn’t catch it. “Yeah, there is. Any chance you could get us some pilots? Hudson’s looking to do a fly over of the camp first.”

“Don’t you have John?”

“John’s missing too,” Jacob answered quietly. “We think he went after Rook.”

Earl swallowed another tumble of whiskey and tried to pour another one, only for a few drops to fall into the glass. “I’m sorry about that. I’ve got two. Pratt’s got a helicopter license, and Nick Rye.”

“I’ll take Nick. I don’t trust Pratt to be in the air right now. When can you get a hold of him?”

“Within the hour. Shall I send him to the ranch?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.” Earl smiled weakly, he’d never heard the man say that word before. Rook must’ve had a hand in it, he usually did. “I’ll update you by tonight.”

“You got it. Best of luck. Over and out.” Earl placed the radio down and pulled his feet off the desk. He shoved his hat back on and went to go find Nick.

\---

The pilot hated the house the resistance gave him. He was grateful, of course, that they supported his family and tried their best to help. At the end of the day, it  just  wasn’t home.  He was sat on the porch, overlooking the town from the mountainside, as he packed bear traps into a large bag. The grizzlies were returning slowly to hunt the herd of deer settling in the foothills. Soon the fawns would be born and the bears would start prowling near the old houses and campsites. Nick had already seen a huge one by the river when he’d gone fishing a week ago.

As he stood and wanted to say goodbye to Kim and Carmina, a truck rolled up from behind the thick trees and parked by the house. 

“Can I help you?” Nick asked as two non-cult women came out. They waved and said hello.

“Mr Rye, you’ve been personally requested by Sheriff Whitehorse to head to the Seed ranch.”

“Uh, look, I don’t know what this is about-”

“Nick,” Kim called out as she stepped onto the porch beside her husband. “What’s going on?”

“Deputy Rook’s been kidnapped. The Sheriff didn’t mention much but he needs you to go to the ranch immediately.”

“I don’t think so. I have bears to deal with, I’m not getting involved in whatever crap - _ Ow! Kim! _ ” Nick rubbed his arm where his wife had punched him.

“Are you kidding me? You’re going right now. It’s Rook!” Kim looked ready to deck him so Nick held up his hands defensively. “After all he’s done for us, you’re going out there.”

“Okay, okay, fine. The bears can wait.” He dumped the bag with a loud metal clang and kissed Kim before following the women out to the truck. He waved at her through the window and sighed deeply, worry tangling in his gut the closer he came to the ranch.

\---

The yard was full of  Peggies and Chosen, all gearing up like the reaping had been nothing and this was the actual war. The truck came to a stop and Nick climbed out, glancing around nervously at all the guns and soldiers. 

One of the women touched his shoulder. “Jacob’s inside. He’s the one you want to talk to.” 

Nick nodded and swallowed thickly. The  Peggies guarding the front doors parted aside and let him in. True to the woman’s words, Jacob was standing over a messy table. Joseph noticed Nick first and waved him over.

“I’m glad you joined us, Mr Rye,” the preacher said, inviting him to come closer. The table was littered with maps and scribbled notes, red pens lying over them as Jacob circled areas and drew everywhere. “This task requires a pilot and we all agreed you’d be the right person for the job.”

“Okay,” Nick said slowly, glancing between the brothers. “Look, I was told Rook’s been kidnapped.”

“ Both he and John are missing. Rook went after some people who wanted to hurt him and we believe John followed. W e have their location but Deputy Hudson thought a fly-over would be a good idea.” 

Joey joined them, as if summoned by her name, and rested a hand on Nick’s  arm . “I’m glad you came. John and Rook are gone, that leaves you as the only pilot we trust. Look, this could get dangerous. These people want Rook and the cult dead.”

“Right. Well, Rook helped me out a few times. It’s only fair I return the favour. What exactly do you need?” 

Jacob grabbed the map he was working on and brought it closer to Nick. “Here. Used to be some sort of summer camp. It’s only on old maps and we can’t send any men out until we know what we’re facing. It could be heavily defended or a pile of rubble. Either way, our best chance of finding Rook and John is in there.”

“This is your only lead? How long’s he been gone?”

“Last night.”

Nick scrunched up his face and laughed dryly. “It  ain’t even been twenty-four hours and you’re shoving out this much man-power? What if he’s just walking home? I mean, this is Rook we’re talking about. How bad could this be?”

“We have reason to believe this might be an uprising in the making,” Joseph began, encouraging Nick to sit as he did. “Rook was already attacked once by these people in broad daylight, they’re not afraid of being bold. There were mentions of a following attack, something far worse, and Rook wanted to face them head on. Nothing we said could convince him otherwise.”

“You’re really worried about him,  aren’t’cha ?” Nick asked as he looked among the siblings and Joey, who nodded slowly. 

“None of us would be going so far if we didn’t expect the worse. So, will you help?” Joseph asked.

“Yeah, of course. One problem, though, my plane is loud. She’s an old girl and I haven’t maintained her for months. I’d need some hours to get her in the air.”

“Take John’s plane, then,” Jacob butted in with a shrug. Joseph looked at him in shock but eventually he nodded. 

“Alright, sounds good to me.” Nick knew John would be furious but he kept his smile to himself. 

Jacob led him to the hangar and together they pushed the plane out into the open. It was heavier than Carmina, built for land instead of water, but it was smaller and thinner. As Nick climbed into the cockpit, he realised it was more modern and more complicated. He’d need to glance through the manual before he pressed the wrong button. The tank was filled up and the rudders and flaps moved smoothly.  It was ready to fly.

“All good?” Jacob asked, looking up at Nick and shielding his eyes from the sunlight with a hand over his brow.

“Yeah, she’s just fine. John knows how to take care of a plane.” Nick hated complimenting the man but even he had to admit this was a fine, well-kept machine.

“It’s his pride and joy. He’d kill you if he saw you up there.” There was a smile on Jacob’s face but his eyes told Nick what he said was truth. 

“He stole my plane. Consider this payback. Right, I’ll head to the camp and radio i n what I see.”

“Good luck up there.”

Nick nodded and pulled the hatch over his head, and slipped the headphones on. He meddled with the buttons as he turned the engine on. With the mic adjusted down, he spoke into it.

“This is Nick Rye, do you copy?”

Jacob grabbed his radio, the one they’d changed up to catch the plane’s frequency. “Loud and clear.”

“Alright, I’m going to set off. Catch you later.”

Jacob held a thumbs up and stepped back a few steps as Nick double-checked everything, and turned the plane to face the runway. Nick increased the power, the engine rumbling loudly as the propeller gained speed. Once it was a blur, Nick started moving down the runway. His heart was pounding and he could n’t help grinning.

“Okay, taking off in three, two...” 

The plane took off, the wheels leaving the dusty ground.  That feeling of suddenly relying on the machine, the bounce of the wheels off the runway, that smoothness that came after- Nick had missed it so much. He was beaming with joy.  He kept aiming up until he was at a safe altitude before straightening out and turning right towards the Henbane. 

“Damn, this baby is quick.”

He wasn’t speaking to anyone in particular but he was sure Jacob was listening. Nick glanced out of the windows and laughed. It felt so good to get back in the air after being grounded for so long. He missed this; the vibrations of the engine, the scenery ever-expanding in front of him, and the freedom the sky gave him. He could head in any direction for as long as the tank had fuel. 

After five minutes, he passed over the prison. Jacob had mentioned it was further than most people liked to drive out. Secluded on the very bottom of the Rockies, it was one of the last places on the county border. 

The camp came into view. Three stone and wood buildings were set in a U-shape with a large courtyard in the middle. The outside was surrounded by a tall wall and hedges with a wooden gate. It looked expensive and Nick could spot a lake just half a mile away with several cabins dotted on the shore.  The trees between the lake and the camp were too close together but he was willing to bet they’d built things there too.

As he got closer, he saw people outside. Dozens of them, way more than Jacob’s list had mentioned. It wasn’t heavily defended like they’d feared, no barricades or turrets or mortars . It looked more like a refugee camp.

“Hey, it’s Nick here. Do you copy?” Nick turned the plane up North, to make it seem like he was patrolling the whole area. After all, he was in one of the few planes in the county and it had been months since one had been in the air.

“I copy,” Jacob answered. “Go ahead.”

“I had a good look but there’s a lot of people down there. Dozens. Three buildings, big wall around them. There's a forest and a lake half a mile behind. I didn’t see any major weapons either.” 

“What’s the terrain like?”

Nick glanced out of the window again. “Mostly grassy hills,  a  lot of trees. I don’t know how easily you’ll get your trucks up there with just one dirt road . You’d be single file with trees on either side. I say you approach on foot.”

“Any breaks in the wall? Anything we can take advantage of?” 

“The main entrance has a huge wooden gate. I can’t see any gaps but maybe the forest behind... I mean, there has to be other exits going South. Alright, there’s a lot of people coming out now. I’m going to head back before they shoot me down or something.”

“Alright. Good job. I’ll meet you by the hangar. Over and out.” Jacob clicked off and Nick felt a little burst of pride. 

Still, the  number of  people outside was continuing to grow so he  turned  and headed back to the ranch. He did try to make it a smooth landing but  ol ’ Carmina always needed convincing to come down to a stop. Nick ended up being a little rough to John’s plane, used to forcing the nose down and pulling the brakes sharply. When the plane slowed, he drove it to the hangar and parked it very carefully.

As he climbed out, reluctant to leave the pilot’s seat, Jacob pulled the doors shut and clapped Nick’s shoulder.

“She’s in good shape considering the landing,” Jacob commented, taking stock and roaming his eyes over the plane.

Nick rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly. “It’s like driving a Ferrari when all you’ve ever owned were harvest trucks. Still, she’s in one piece and survived. I’d love one of these but I sure as hell wouldn’t trust my customers with it.”

“Did they shoot you?”

“Nah but there was a lot of ‘ em . That list you  showed me had like, what- fifteen, twenty people? Way more down there. Way, way more.” Jacob nodded and started walking towards the side door. Nick grabbed his shoulder. “Listen, that camp- I saw kids, little ones. I know Rook’s in trouble but just please keep the violence toned down. That place didn’t look like an outpost.”

“If that’s where Rook and John are, then we have to take it.” Jacob tried to shake off his hand but Nick gripped his jacket and ignored the glare.

“The kids, man...”

“We’re not going to hurt them. The conspirators will be arrested and that’s it. Anyone who isn’t part of the problem will be left alone.” 

Nick nodded slowly and let go, allowing Jacob to walk away. He was almost at the door when Nick asked, “Hey, what do I do now?”

“Go home to your wife and child. You’ve done your part.” Jacob grabbed the handle and left before he could be held back again. 

Nick scoffed and watched him through the tiny window. When he was out of sight, Nick patted the side of the plane. 

“Affirmation. What a stupid name.” 


	42. Firefight

Staci didn’t like being left behind. It pissed him off more these days when he was trying hard to act normal. He could tell something had happened because the Den had a strange vibe to it, like everyone was tense and focused on one thing. When he got around to asking Tammy, she told him the truth. The  Peggies were on a rampage trying to find Rook. She hated, just as much as everyone else, to step outside and see the white trucks filled with soldiers and cultists. They were everywhere, crawling over the county like roaches.

It wasn’t until she gave the reason why that Staci knew he had to go out there. He didn’t ask as much as inform Whitehorse that he was leaving for the ranch. What pissed him off further was that Joey knew and had gone on her own. Earl couldn’t argue against having two officers over there.

That’s how Staci ended up on the front porch of the ranch with Jacob barring the entrance.

“No, go home,” Jacob said instead of a hello as he firmly shut the door behind him . He crossed his arms and refused to move aside.

“I want to help. He’s my best friend.” 

Staci remembered the last time he’d stood on the steps a few days before and how he’d held a knife to Jacob’s throat. That fury was gone now but Staci noticed how Jacob tensed every time Staci moved. The knife was back on his belt and Staci wondered if Jacob had crawled through the bushes for it or just ordered a Peggie to play fetch.

“I don’t care, you’re not in a condition to be out there. Pea-  _ Staci _ , this m ay turn dangerous. I can’t have a liability in my ranks.”

“Whitehorse gave you orders to keep this peaceful.  He told me ,” Staci argued, crossing his arms as well. “I’m not a fucking liability and I am going out there to find Rook.”

“No. It’s not happening.”

“You’re letting Joey help!”

Jacob sighed and glanced up above Staci’s head like he was asking patience from God. “Hudson is cool-headed and she’s better for the task. That’s what I need right now. Calm, collected thinking. My brother is missing too and I won’t risk his life so you can play the hero.”

“I can be calm,” Staci kept arguing, lowering his voice and taking deep breaths to prove his point. “Please, Jacob. You need all the help  you can get.”

“I have  a  hundred men and woman at my disposal, on top of what the resistance is offering. Everything is planned, we’re leaving in twenty minutes.” Jacob reached out and grabbed Staci’s shoulder. “I know you want to make yourself useful but right now, I don’t need you. Stay here if you want and keep guard with those staying behind. They could come for Joseph. ”

Staci sighed heavily and glanced over his shoulder at all the trucks filling up with soldiers. Most had black uniforms and heavy bullet-proof vests on. Jacob squeezed his shoulder, gaining his attention again.

“I’m sorry, Staci. It’s not against you.”

“Feels like it,” Pratt mumbled childishly.

“Just stay here and be good for me, okay?” Jacob dared raise his hand to Staci’s cheek and swept his thumb across the cheekbone, the stubble rough against his palm. “I have to finish getting ready.”

Staci let him step away, missing the warmth of his hand, and watched as he retreated into the hall and shut the door again. He caught a glance of Joseph and Hudson along with several  Peggies , a couple of them Chosen. It gave him an idea.

Jacob took the lead truck and gestured for the convoy to follow after him. Joseph stood to the side and watched them leave, his insides twisted with worry. Both of his brothers and his partner were gone now and he was left alone with a handful of the best. If this was all some ploy to get Joseph alone, at least he’d ha ve some defence. 

As the trucks peeled away, the Chosen had one extra member. Alex caught Staci’s glance on the opposite side of the troop carrier. They were surrounded by  Peggies and Chosen and under the red balaclava, Staci looked like any other cultist. Alex nodded to him and kept silent, waiting until they reached the camp.

\---

The scout camp had once been home to sixty kids and five teachers from the start of April through to the last days of August. During those months, the kids came from all over Montana to learn survival and earn badges they’d show off when school returned. The friendships forged  there lasted lifetimes and most of the pine tree s had initials carved into them. It had been built after the second world war and the wood creaked with every step. It was freezing during winter but a refreshing refuge from the summer heat. The lake behind was full of life and the forests too. 

Joey could understand why they’d set up an outpost there. It was sustainable and far from the damage of the fires and the civil war. She could see the wall between the trees from across the river as the trucks rolled across  an old bridge.

Jacob parked on the shoreline and the rest followed his example. He planned to go on foot for the remainder, listening to Nick’s advice. She could see the rest of the road became narrower the higher it went up the hill. If they carried on, the trucks would be stuck in a line and the forest was perfect cover for an ambush.

“Alright, everybody  listen up. I’m going over the plan again,” Jacob called out to the men gathered on the banks. They looked absolutely frightening with their black uniforms and Eden’s Gate symbol sprayed on their backs. 

She wondered when Jacob had had the time to come up with a new dress-code but she had to give him props for coming up with something even worse than before. Now they looked like an army and not random hobos with guns. Most belonged to Jacob as she noticed their rigid posture and buzzed hair but a few of the more crazy-looking ones had joined.

“Team A and B, you take the left and right walls respectively . Team C, you scope out those trees and the front gate. If anything moves, call it in. Chosen, you’re with me and we take the South side. You do not have permission to fire unless I say so. They have children in there and you do not want to go down as child-murderers. We keep this tame and calm. Once we’ve entered, your objective is to gather everyone in the yard. Disarm with non-lethal methods only. No one gets killed here today.”

The men said nothing, obediently silent, but they all nodded in unison. 

“Alright, you’ve got your orders. Let’s move out.”

The teams split into various directions and Jacob watched them go. He turned to Joey, dressed in black like his men. The vest made him look even more imposing. 

“Are you sure you want to join me?” He asked, looking her over. He knew this was the last place she wanted to be, in the cross-fire again and near to John, but she had put on a vest over her police uniform.

“Yeah, let’s do this.”

He smiled briefly and turned to the Chosen. “You heard the lady, let’s go.” 

The back of the camp had two exits with wooden doors. The trees went right up to the wall, allowing Jacob to come closer. He could hear people in the yard beyond and glanced to his men on either side of the camp. Their black clothes melded with the canopy shadows and Joey struggled to find them.

Jacob grabbed his radio. “Is everybody in position?”

“Team A is ready.”

“Team B is ready.”

“Team C is  _ not  _ ready, Sir.”

“Okay. A come join me. B, go to C and help support them with the front gate. C, what’s the problem?”

“I think we might need to ram it with a truck. We can’t tell how well locked it is, there’s nothing on the outside.”

Jacob looked back over at his Chosen and singled the leader out. “Go open that door, see if you can look at the gate from the inside.” He clicked the radio on. “I’m sending someone. Hold  your position.”

“Yes, Sir.”

The team leader head ed up under the tree cover and flattened himself against the wall. His hand groped for the handle and it turned, the door opening without a lock. Joey watched him disappear behind the wall for a moment before he snuck back out and joined Jacob’s side.

“There’s a bar across the gate but a truck could smash through it. Nobody’s standing by it but there are guards on the top floor balconies. Couldn’t see any snipers, though.”

Jacob nodded and grabbed the radio again. “C, there’s a bar but you can ram it. Take one of the pickups and let your men follow behind. Let me know when you’re ready to take it down.”

They only had to wait a couple minutes for the reply. “Sir, the truck’s ready to go. It’s waiting under the trees but it will be a direct hit.”

“Good, set her off. Team B and C, swarm in after the truck. You’re good to go, driver.”

Joey heard the roar of an engine powering up and a moment later, the gate was splintering with a large crack. Like lightening had hit a  tree  trunk and snapped it in half. 

“Alright, go, go  go ,” Jacob called out into the radio, watching as the Chosen went to one door while Team A took the second.

They flooded the courtyard and heard screams as the people ran to shelter inside the buildings. Joey was one of the last few to come through and she watched how quickly Jacob’s men ran after them, breaking down doors and dragging the people out into the courtyard. They were being thrown to their knees and the Chosen had formed a circle, their guns aimed. She prayed they wouldn’t shoot.

Inside one of the buildings, Jacob was storming through the hallways. His back-up spread through the rooms, checking each one for John and Rook. A man ran into him, one of the inhabitants, and Jacob knocked him unconscious before he could fire his shotgun. 

He grabbed his radio. “Any sign of our boys?”

“Negative, Sir,” a  peggie answered back after a moment. There was fighting behind her voice.

“Keep searching.” 

Jacob clipped the radio back on his belt and moved on to the next building. There had to be a basement. He jogged back into the courtyard and saw the people on their knees and the Chosen watching over them. 

“What the Hell do  y’all think you’re doing? What gives you the right to-” The woman who’d been yelling fell silent as she laid eyes on Jacob. “Oh no... No, he killed you!”

Jacob walked to her and was about to say something but Hudson ran over quicker . 

“Adelaide? Oh my God, you’re alive.  Wh -what are you doing here?” Hudson dropped to her knees to hug the older woman. She brushed some of the blonde strands away and grinned at Adelaide. 

“I live here, darling. Just what are you doing with that brute?”

“It’s a long story. Is Rook here, or John?”

Adelaide frowned and looked up to Jacob. “No, of course not. I haven’t seen our boy since the bombs. And neither has John been here. What is all this?”

“-Unhand me now. I will not let you take this place from us, you have no right.” A black man was forced to join the group and Adelaide tried to reach out to him.

“You leave Jerome alone,” she argued. “In fact, leave all  of us  alone. We’ve done nothing wrong here.”

Joey stood and went to Jacob, pulling him aside by his arm. She glanced back at the prisoners and shook her head. “We got it wrong, Jacob. These people are just survivors like the rest of us, Adelaide would never turn on Rook. Never. And neither would the Pastor.”

“No, we’re interrogating all of them. Your friends might not be concerned but that doesn’t mean they’re not here.” Jacob grabbed the list from one pocket and walked out in front of the huddled mass. “Alright, listen up! We came here for one reason and that is to find John Seed and Deputy Rook. If anyone has any idea of their whereabouts, tell us now and we’ll leave in peace.”

Joey looked ready to intercept but a couple Chosen stepped in her way. 

“No one needs to get hurt but as you can see around you, my men outnumber you greatly.” Jacob read out the list of names and Joey could see some heads turning nervously. “Is there anyone here by those names?”

A woman shakily stood up in the crowd and raised her hand. The man beside her tried to pull her back down. 

“Yes, you. Go ahead,” Jacob said, pointing at her.

“Sherry, get the fuck down,” the man hissed, grabbing her hand. Jacob waved at the soldiers and the woman was separated and brought up to the front. She was tiny and frail, shaking in fear under the soldier’s hands so Jacob dismissed his man.

“What do you have to tell me?”

“They’re in the lake cabins, just the people you called out. Your brother isn’t there or the other one.”

Jacob nodded at the soldiers and as he did, the man who’d caused a fuss suddenly panicked and ran. He went in the direction of the back gates, sprinting to them, but one of the Chosen tackled him down not much further away. The man tried to fight back, throwing his arms out wildly, and another  peggie joined the brawl. It was over quickly and by the time he was dragged to the crowd again, his nose was busted and he hung limply between the  peggies carrying him. The kids nearby had begun to cry.

“Thank you,” Jacob said to the woman. She was in tears, looking back at the man Jacob assumed was either her husband or brother. “Okay, Chosen: you’re with me again. The rest of you, keep an eye on this lot.”

Joey was finally let through and Jacob held his hand out, as if to shush her. “I need you here, Hudson. These people know you and it’s safer.”

She frowned, couldn’t argue the former. “Since when do you care about my safety?”

“Whitehorse wouldn’t appreciate me handing him your corpse. None of us know what’s out there. You’re in charge here. For now.”

Her frown faded. “I’ll try not to let it get to my head.” As Jacob was about to head out, Joey grabbed his arm. “Watch it out there. I don’t want to drag a corpse back to Joseph.”

Jacob mirrored her smirk and saluted her as he walked away. His Chosen folded around him like a shield and Joey watched as he went to the back gate and disappeared beyond the wall. As she looked at the crowd and the people she knew, Adelaide and Jerome were holding hands and exchanging worried glances.

\---

The trees were close together, tall pines and evergreens pointing up to the darkening sky. Beneath them, the shadows were growing darker as the sun moved away. Ropes and treehouses were built above on thick branches but in the dark, they became strange shapes that the Chosen often shined their torches up to.

Staci stayed towards the rear with Alex and although he knew he should stay quiet and not give himself away, he still tapped the man on the upper arm when no one was looking. Staci just wanted reassurance after what he’d witnessed and done. He didn’t like dragging people by their clothes and hair or having to knock out several people just to avoid doubt. 

Alex glanced at him and slowed his walk so they were the last ones  at the end of the group. He could see the distress in Staci’s eyes. The Chosen checked on the others before reaching to the side and grabbing Staci’s hand, squeezing it. 

“Move it, ladies,” a  peggie said, slapping Alex’s shoulder companionably and chuckling. He hadn’t seen their joined hands because Alex dropped his like he’d been burned. 

The lake came into view through the trees, a glossy black as the sunset reflected oranges and golds across the water. The waves lapped lazily and the cabins surrounded the  stony beach in a line. Five of them, built of sturdy wood and covered in moss and algae. A jetty launched out into the water and there was an old boat overturned at the very end beside some rotten nets and  buckets . 

As the group descended down the slop e , Jacob held a fist up and forced them to a halt. He gestured at a larger building further away, half-hidden by the tre e s and low light. It looked like a warehouse, made of ugly concrete blocks and corrugated metal roofs.

“Clear the cabins first.” 

The Chosen spread around Jacob and each man and woman teamed up before approaching the cabins. Staci ended up with Alex and looking at the third door. All he had to do was remember his police training, one opens the door, the other barges in. He took point at the door, flattening himself against the wall as his hand grabbed the handle. Alex raised his bow, nocking an arrow back, and nodded for Staci to open the door.

It was locked. Most of them were, Staci noticed as he looked back at the other  peggies . Alex relaxed his arm and lifted his leg, kicking near the lock. They both heard the wood splinter so Alex kicked it again and again, and it finally broke open.

The cabin was empty but the bed was recently made and there were open cans by the stove. 

“Someone was definitely here,” Alex stated the obvious as he opened the closet doors and checked under the bed. “Their belongings are still here but no sign of any weapon, must’ve taken that with them. Alright, move out.”

Staci nodded mutely. He didn’t want to speak with earshot of Jacob. They went out of the cabin and back to their leader. 

“Just an empty cabin, Sir, but they were here for certain,” Alex reported as others joined them and gave Jacob the same answer. 

“Okay, let’s check out that building there. Maybe they heard us attacking and ran. Keep your eyes peeled, soldiers.”

Jacob led the way, opting to return into the forest as he circled around the lake. As they got closer, the warehouse looked more and more abandoned. Graffiti was sprayed over the exterior in bright colours and random shapes. Staci never liked it, unable to decipher the strange signatures or words that had no place in the dictionary. 

The grass was overgrown and up to the top of their heavy combat boots as the trees thinned. A road came down  in front of the warehouse, and Staci could see a Jeep parked just beyond. He tapped Alex’s shoulder again and pointed it out. Alex was about to mention it to Jacob when the eldest Seed raised a fist and gestured at the vehicle. 

“Split up,” Jacob ordered. “half go left, the other right.”

Staci ended up staying with Alex and Jacob, rounding the left side. They crouched down as they reached the wall, clinging to it as Jacob peered around the side to the front door. There were steps to a blue door and three roller doors large enough for a truck to fit through. 

Jacob could see the rest of his team on the other side and gestured for them to wait. He stood hunched over and climbed up the stairs, grabbing the door handle as he waited for the Chosen behind him to surge in.

Someone inside fired their gun. The Chosen’s rifle went off immediately, startling Staci as the man kept shooting until his body fell back over the safety banister and onto the ground.  He wasn’t dead but bleeding, and someone dragged him aside to safety.

Like a switch had been flicked, the rest of the soldiers on the left side  pulled up one of the garage doors and  stormed through .  Staci was forced to join them. 

The inside was lit by flood lanterns  and sunlight  and Staci spotted bodies along the walls and behind crates. He ducked behind some pallets and raised his pistol, peeking out of cover for a moment to pick a target. He hid again for a moment before looking over the pallets and shooting some guy in the chest. So much for non-lethal combat.

Staci ended up being the last person to shoot and the silence was crushing compared to the guns. He glanced around and found Jacob not too far away, hunkered down. Jacob slowly stood to look over the area and up towards the catwalks and offices above the loading bays. When no one took a shot at him, he declared the area clear.

“Search the bodies, see if anyone’s alive.” 

Staci stood with the Chosen but he was hesitant to look at the dead. He’d seen so much death already and he didn’t want to see the man he’d shot at. Instead of following orders, he ended up wandering around the area for clues. Maybe they’d marked specific areas down for their resistance. 

He climbed up to the offices alone, his steps echoing on the metal stairs. It was dark without the lanterns so he switched the flashlight on his jacket on. The room he walked into was filled with bedrolls and blankets , and camping stoves were set up in one corner. The dead’s belongings were shoved into rucksack and duffel bags and Staci slowly looted through them. There was nothing except clothes and books, bits of their lives that Staci didn’t care about. 

A hand landed on his shoulder and Staci yelped, startling back with his pistol raised. Jacob chuckled and pushed the gun down with two fingers.

“Your training’s worn off if I can sneak up on you.”

Staci froze in place, watching as Jacob turned to close the door and return to him. It was clear he wasn’t interested in looting the room. Jacob chuckled again, a soft noise that was too quiet compared to his usual laugh. 

“I don’t like it when people disobey my orders. I told you to search the bodies, not the rooms.” Jacob took a step closer and raised a hand, hooking his fingers under the balaclava and pulling it off. “I also told you to stay at the ranch.”

Staci blinked and shook his head as hair fell into his eyes. “How did you know?”

“I know my men better than anyone else, I know when one of them doesn’t belong. Why would I want a team of eleven?”

Staci was confused but he realised that, with Jacob included, the numbers were uneven and no one had said a thing. He groaned and Jacob smirked.

“They all know.”

“Of course, they do. The men downstairs are brothers-in-arms, they’re chosen specifically by me. They know a fake when they see one.” Jacob handed back the red hood and Staci fidgeted with it, squishing the wool between his fingers.

“If you knew, why did you let me come?”

“All this is to prove a point, isn’t it? To show me and everyone else that Staci Pratt is not a broken man. I can’t stop you doing what you want so I let you join us.  You can show me first-hand. Oh, and n ice shot by the way. Straight through the heart.” 

Jacob patted his arm proudly.  For a moment, Staci felt proud too before the all-consuming high of pleasing Jacob faded with the  knowledge he’d killed someone he wasn’t supposed to.

“Did we even get something out of this?”

“One guy’s alive, we’ll patch him up and bring him back. Whitehorse wants them sent to the prison-”

“Jacob!” A  peggie yelled from the ground floor. Jacob wa l ked out  of the room,  onto the catwalk and looked down. “Sir, there’s  a basement.”

“I’ll be right there,” Jacob shouted back. He turned back to Staci. “You don’t have to put the hood back on. Your secret’s out, kitten.” 

Jacob suddenly pulled a face, like the term had slipped out by accident. Staci snorted and went to Jacob, patting his chest patronisingly.  At least he wasn’t in trouble for joining them.

“Good,  ‘cause this thing is awful and stuffy.” He shoved the hood in his jacket pocket, where it stuck out. “Let’s see what your men sniffed out.”

\---

The basement was made up of three rooms, filled with various fishing and hunting supplies for the local stores. Most of the shelves were stripped bare and dust covered almost everything. Flashlights scanned the rooms and Jacob ended up in the very last room, looking at all the notes and maps pinned to the walls.

Staci joined him, ignoring the snickers from the Chosen and how Alex raised a questioning brow at seeing his face. Staci had just waved him off. 

He looked at the walls and saw Rook’s face in no less than five places,  old photos from before the bombs when Rook still had short hair,  along with the Seed siblings and a few resistance members.  Boshaw was among them with a question mark above his head . J oey, Earl, and Staci himself were on the walls as well.

“This is some crazy shit,” he mumbled, seeing Jacob nod in the corner of his eye. “They were planning this for a while.”

“Maybe there’s something here about a hideout or-” 

A radio clicked in the corner of the room. Jacob hadn’t realised it still had power . Staci wandered up to it and turned up the volume.

“ _ Let me go, you fucking Sinner _ ,”  John’s voice crackled through the old speakers, startling them both.

“John?” Jacob muttered, at the same time as Rook. “They’re together. Rook’s with him.”

“ _ There’s an MP3 in his pocket. Press play _ , ” another man said with a rough voice, someone neither of them knew.

“ _ And why would I do that? _ ” Jo hn said and Jacob could feel his brother’s anger and fear like it was his own.

_ “I will shoot you and you will still do it. The only difference is you’ll have an extra hole. Do it.” _

_ “John, don’t. It’s Jacob’s song _ _. _ _ ” _ __ Rook was pleading, his voice strained and shaky, and Jacob swallowed thickly and crossed his arms defensively over his chest.

Staci glanced to Jacob and s aw  how pale he was, even in the glow from their small flashlights. He felt sick, himself, hearing all this and fearing where it would lead.

_ “Fine, I’ll shoot your pet _ _. _ _ ” _

The gunshot was deafening in the small room and Alex poked his head in curiously. Staci reached behind him blindly, eyes fixed on the radio and its orange light. Alex grabbed his hand, listening in to the same message that was playing on the radios upstairs on the dead men’s belts.  No one had to wonder for long what the man meant by pet.

_ “Fuck!” _ Rook yelled in pain and Jacob wanted nothing more than to find him and kill whoever was hurting him.

_ “Stop! I’ll press it _ _. _ _ ” _

Jacob moved quickly, covering Staci’s ears with his hands as the song played out. It was only the first few notes before they all heard something breaking and the music stopped. He held onto Staci, cradling him as he brought the Deputy to his knees so he was closer to the ground if he passed out.

A door shut through the radio and Jacob perked his head up.

“I hope you enjoyed the entertainment guys. I’m heading back into town tonight, can’t let those cultist  fucks  know something was up. I’ll come  round in the morning and I’ll hear the praise then. Bill, you better have saved that cask for me! Over and out.”

The room fell silent and Jacob heard Staci’s heavy breathing. He turned his attention back to the Deputy and found him clutching Alex’s hand like his life depended on it. Jacob brushed a hand through Staci’s hair.

“I’m okay, it wasn’t on for long. I’ll be alright. I feel fine.” Staci did not sound fine and his other hand clutched Jacob’s jacket, looping his arm around his back. He held onto both men tightly, his hands clenching and unclenching rhythmically. 

Jacob looked over to Alex. “We’ll gather our men, keep some here and at the camp. The rest will head back to Holland Valley.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Come on, Stace, time to go.” Jacob stood up and pulled Staci up with Alex’s help. He carried him through the basement, gathering up the Chosen and their stitched-up prisoner.

Once everyone was with him, Jacob announced his plan and two Chosen stayed back to wait for reinforcements. In the meantime, they’d gather the bodies outside and let the locals choose how to bury them. Jacob wanted to burn them in a pile but Staci insisted that their fate be left to the people who cared about them, if anyone did.

The chosen that had injured was carried back along with the prisoner, taken around the walls to avoid being seen.


	43. Just like the old days, right?

Joey heard distant gunfire and the crowd turned their heads back towards the wall. It last ed a couple minutes but the children in the yard were crying and clutching their parents. The  peggies tightened their grip on their rifles but Joey refused to show how much it scared her. Jacob had promised to be peaceful about this so whatever had made him change his tune must’ve been serious. Either that or he’d be lying the whole time and Joey had been played for a fool.

“I thought you were on our side,  sweetpea ,” Adelaide said  to Joey  quietly when the noise ended. She was holding Jerome’s hand as he hugged her, curled up together as if this was their last moment. 

“I am,” Joey defended, looking beyond the tops of the trees and back to Addie. “It’s not that simple. The cult doesn’t exist anymore, not like it used to. There’s an alliance now between them and the resistance, there’s no more fighting. At least, there’s not supposed to be.”

“Our boy had something to do with it, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, he’s behind it all. As always. You know Rook, can’t leave problems unsolved. He’s  gotta take it all on.”

Adelaide hummed and gestured for Joey to come closer. She did, kneeling in front of her. “Who’s alive? I mean, if Rook and the Seeds got out then surely...”

“A lot of people. Look, when this is all over- come to Fall’s End. Hiding behind these walls, I think you’ve missed a lot. There’s a system now, food and electricity. The whole county’s working together.”

“Sounds like Joseph Seed got what he wanted. His Eden,” Jerome said softly, glancing around all the  peggies . “Was our fight for nothing? All those lives lost before, I feel like it did nothing. The cult is still here, whether it’s official or not.”

Joey couldn’t argue. She knew Rook did all this to better people’s lives but at the end of the day, he was trying to make up for his biggest failure. If the Seeds were dead, none of this would’ve happened. 

“Rook says we have to move on, to make sure the past never happens again.”

“Do you believe him?” Adelaide asked, her eyes distant as she refused to look at Joey’s face. “I know I was always acting like this whole cult thing didn’t bother me but it did. We fought all this time and at the end of the day, Jerome is right. We accomplished nothing.”

Joey grabbed her hand and felt how calloused her skin was, hardened by a life of work that went unspoken. Adelaide had lost everything and even if she hardly spoke kindly of her son,  Hurk Jr was not here and neither was Xander. She had every right to be angry at Rook.

“I do believe him. I have to. Otherwise, we’ll end up right where we left off- killing each other in the streets.”

One of the back gates opened and Jacob came through, leading a smaller group of Chosen than he’d left with. Joey stood and went to hi m . She noticed Staci tagging behind and she glared, planning to have serious words with him and Jacob about endangerment.

“We have a prisoner,” Jacob began ,  ignoring Joey’s look. “He’s already in the truck. John’s with Rook. I’ll need you at the bar tonight, it’s our only chance to find where they are. ” 

“ And t he gunfire?”

“Had to happen, they fired on us.”

Joey sighed but nodded. “Okay, what’s the plan?”

“I’ll send a team to guard the place. There are bodies that will need burials, I suggest we let the locals deal with it. We need to head out to town now.” 

“Sounds good but what about them? Do we just leave them?” She looked back at the crowd, unsure how to proceed after holding them hostage in their own camp.

“Leave it to me.” 

Jacob headed up to the front of the crowd, his Chosen following like they were roped to him. Staci stayed where he was and Joey touched his shoulder, reassuring him with her presence. 

“We didn’t come here to seek violence,” Jacob started loudly, addressing the masses who looked doubtful. “However, it is clear that there is a virus trying to spread. The Project will not allow this to happen. We have our information and most of us will leave your camp. I have left a team down by the lake to guard the warehouse and I encourage you all not to disturb them.”

Jacob looked down at Adelaide and Jerome. In a quieter voice he said, “You’re the leaders here, yes?”

“Yes,” Jerome spit. He’d dealt plenty with John but Jacob was a whole ‘ nother mess he didn’t want to interact with.

“Good, we need to have a chat. Stand up, I haven’t got long.”

Jerome stood and helped Adelaide, and followed Jacob to a more secluded area of the yard. Jacob stopped and turned to them.

“I’ll make this short: Rook is in grave danger. Those people in the warehouse set a trap for him. I know you care about him, he’s your resistance poster boy, so I need your co-operation. If anyone comes through here asking for him, beside us, radio me right away or tell my men.” Jacob pulled paper from his jeans’ pocket and scribbled the frequency down. 

“You realise you could’ve done that to begin with?” Jerome complained as he took the paper. “I don’t appreciate having my people dragged out of their homes. If you come here again and you don’t knock on our gate, I’ll shoot you myself.”

“Noted.”

“I should just shoot you now. Look what you did to our gates.” 

They all turned to the splintered entrance. It all needed replacing. Jerome held tightly onto his passive ways but he wanted to hit Jacob in the face. With a brick, preferably.

Jacob rolled his eyes. “I’ll have someone fix it. Look, there’s bodies down at the warehouse. I suggest you do what feels right. They’re your people after all.” 

“You killed them.”

“I had no choice.”

Jerome scoffed. “Nothing’s changed at all, has it? You think you can waltz in here and own the place. I won’t stand for this. Once you’ve found Rook, I don’t ever want to see you here again.” 

“I wasn’t planning on coming back. Can I trust you to call? For Rook’s sake?”

Jerome had something angry to say but Addie stepped in. “Yes, you can.”

Jacob nodded and thanked her, and went to his gathered men. He set out orders and watched as they dispersed, and Joey and Staci came closer. 

“We’re heading to the Spread Eagle. Joey, you’re coming with me. Staci?”

The young man expected to be sent home but Jacob held out his hand. “Want to come?”

Joey protested, her mouth opening to say something but Staci nodded eagerly and took his hand. They headed out to the trucks, one going to the prison and one to the town. 

\---

The lock on the steel door made a loud clang as it turned, rousing John from his  light  sleep. He glanced down at Rook and held him tighter, petting down his bloody face. It had dried and caked in his short beard but John didn’t bother wiping it off, not when there was so much. 

He looked up at the door as it opened. It was another man, hardly worth a second glance, but he held a shotgun through the gap. He seemed pissed to find them both alive.

“Shit.”

John cradled Rook closer, watching the man closely. He slammed the door shut without another word but he was back a moment later with  four more guys. They formed a semi-circle around John.

“Move away from him,” the first man said.

John only tightened his grip, glaring at them. “No.”

“We don’t have time for this,” another complained, stepping forward to grab at John’s arms to separate them.

John lashed out but his fist was caught.  Another man joined in and dragged him away by his clothes until he was in the opposite corner with a gun to his face. The one holding the rifle pushed it against his mouth and smirked. John held his head up, refusing to look away and give the m the satisfaction. 

The two left grabbed Rook and hoisted him up, punching him in the gut as a wake-up call. Rook groaned and wheezed, waking from the pain. His hair was fisted and his head pulled back so he could look at his captors. John could see he was barely alive, blinking lazily and entirely dead weight. 

“Looks like Jacob failed to train you properly, Deputy. That’s alright, we’ll give you a field test.”

“What are you going to do to him?” John demanded to know as the man talking grabbed a syringe filled with a green liquid. 

Bliss. It would numb the pain and turn Rook into a machine. Faith had been working on a newer, better version of the drug that made it easier to create obedience. It had never come to light because of the bombs but it meant someone had raided her bunker and her supplies.

The man turned to him. “I’m going to set him loose at the ranch, of course. I’m sure he’ll find plenty of cultist fucks to kill there, right? Oh, I forgot to tell you- my bad. Your brothers started search parties and Joseph’s all alone right now. It would be nice if they were reunited, don’t you think?”

“Leave them alone... please. We’re trying to help you.”

The man laughed and dropped Rook’s head, letting it loll from side to side.

“You think you’re helping? Whoa,  _ really _ ? You hung people from the bridges and gutted them!” He strode up to John and grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him up. “You and your whole family will rot in Hell for what you did. But first, you all have to die.”

He let go and shoved John up against the wall. The men crowded him and as the one who’d pushed him walked back to Rook, a hand strayed across the ripped buttons of his torn shirt. At the touch on his skin, John recoiled and spit in the offender’s face.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“They’ll do what they like. Since the Deputy couldn’t kill you, it’s up to my boys to have some fun. And if they feel like doing other things before that... well, that’s not my concern. You deserve this and worse.”

Rook groaned in pain as he was manhandled. John caught sight of the syringe again and he watched helplessly as the concentrated Bliss was injected into Rook’s arm. 

After a moment, Rook could stand on his own feet but his eyes were bloodshot and screaming for help as he looked over to John. The man pulled him out of the room by his arm and Rook just followed.  The men left behind leered at John and the hand returned to brush down his chest. He shivered and held still, knowing he had to behave or they’d make it excruciating. 

\---

The bar was full and lively by the time Jacob pulled up in town. Joey sat beside him, adjusting her vest and looking across the road to the Spread Eagle. 

“Remember, no violence. We’re going to arrest whoever we can and take them straight to the prison.” She took a deep breath, her eyes never leaving the door. “Staci, you come with me. Jacob, take the back door. If they run, they won’t get far with you there.”

“You got it,” Staci replied, reaching over the seat to pat her shoulder. “Just like the old days, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah. Standard routine. Are we good to go?”

Jacob nodded and Staci hummed, so she climbed out of the truck and led the way. In the corner of her eye, Jacob disappeared behind the building. This was their last chance, she couldn’t mess it up.

Staci was right behind her as she entered the bar, catching Mary May’s attention. She went up to the counter, looking nonchalant as Staci stayed back by the door and watched the room.

“Are they here?” 

Mary May nodded, inclining her head towards the stairs. Sat at the table beneath the banister was Windbreaker in his ugly  blue  jacket, and his denim-wearing friend sporting a broken nose and twin blackeyes. They were watching her  too.

“I’ll handle this.” Joey looked back at Staci, gesturing for him to follow. She went up to their table and they glanced between themselves, exchanging words that were smothered by the music. “Evening, gentlemen.”

“Ma’am.” Windbreaker tipped his head politely. “Come to join us for a drink?”

“I’m afraid not. I’m here to arrest you both on suspicion of kidnapping with intent to harm. If you’ll please stand and face the wall, we can make this quick and easy.” 

Windbreaker laughed and grabbed his drink, throwing it in Joey’s face as he jumped to his feet and tried to run off. The denim guy ran towards the back but Joey went after the first  man , running after him into the street. He was across the road and reaching for his car door when Staci raised his pistol.  Joey saw him and held out her hand.

“Staci, don’t!”  She yelled, too far from Staci to stop him from firing the gun. She heard it go off but the man never cried out in pain. Instead, the car dropped on one side as the tire was punctured. 

She shook the surprise off in time to sprint to the man and tackle him against the car door, slamming his head onto the roof to daze him. Her hand went to the handcuffs and she  clicked them on, locking his wrists together as he tried to fight back. She held him down until Staci joined and  together they threw him to the ground and forced him to lie on his chest. Staci kept him pinned down while Joey went to check on Jacob.

“Get the fuck off me!”

“Don’t think so, you’ve got a lot of questions to answer, buddy,” Staci replied, digging his knee deeper in the man’s back and enjoying the way he cried out in pain and tried to squirm away. 

Jacob appeared around the side of the building, shoving the denim guy forward as Joey walked beside them. He was handcuffed like Windbreaker and he too had suffered a bit of damage as his nose bled down his shirt. 

Joey held the truck door open and shoved the two men inside. She wished it was a patrol car instead with the safety barrier between her and them but Jacob wordlessly joined them in the back, silencing her worries of a surprise attack. Staci took the wheel and once they left the town borders, he pulled onto the side of the road.

“What are you doing? Stace, we’re supposed to go to the prison,” Joey said, glancing nervously at her partner. 

“We’ll get there but how long do you think it will take to go there and question them? We don’t have time. ” Staci looked back at Jacob. “This place is as good as any. Jake, help me get them onto the road.”

“ Wha \- Staci!”

Jacob opened his door and dragged the man closest out with him, throwing him to the asphalt. Staci got out and pulled the other man, ignoring Joey’s protests.

“You can’t, you promised we’d do this by the book.”

Jacob pulled out his knife and held it out to Staci. “You want to be in charge here? Go ahead.”

Staci looked at the knife for a long moment before grabbing it firmly and kneeling down to Windbreaker’s eye level. 

“We know you had something to do with Rook and John’s disappearance. We found your hideout by the lake-”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Windbreaker held up his bound hands in defence, looking between them with wide eyes.

“The warehouse with all the guys and the creepy basement. We heard the radio.” His face dropped and Staci didn’t fight the grin. “Yeah, that’s right. That message.  So you’re going to tell us where you’re keeping them.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

Jacob squatted down beside him and landed a heavy hand on his shoulder. He took the man’s chin and forced him to face the soldier. 

“I don’t think you understand the length we’ll go to for our family. Those men back at the warehouse are all dead, the kid who gave us the info is never going to see the light of day again. Do you see that knife?” He gestured to the red one he gave Staci and Windbreaker nodded. “You have no idea how many people I’ve skinned with that knife. John learned his skills from me and I can tell you that no one is going to hear you scream out here.”

Jacob forced his face closer until they were millimetres apart and he smiled sadistically. 

“I will strip every inch of flesh from your body and then I’ll make your friend here eat it in front of your eyes. And then I’ll let Staci decide what to do with your remains.”

“That one guy survived, why not send him what’s left?” Staci joined in, stroking the tip of the blade down the man’s cheek. 

“Good idea. So, what’s it going to be?”

Windbreaker looked up to Joey, likely readying to beg for her mercy but Staci brought the blade under his chin and pressed hard enough to make him concentrate. 

“Dude, don’t say anything,” Denim pleaded before he fell silent under Jacob’s glare.

“What happens to us if we tell you?”

Joey stepped up before the two could answer . “You’ll be sent to the prison and you’ll serve time. No harm will come to you.”

Windbreaker gulped carefully to avoid getting cut and glanced at his friend. Denim was shaking his head.

“They’re lying, don’t trust them. Andrew, they’ll kill us anyways. Just stay quiet.” 

Jacob sighed and stood up, turning to Joey. “Why don’t you take the truck and check on the bar? Come back in half an hour.”

Joey’s mouth opened and she frowned and shook her head. “Why would I do that?”

The soldier stepped closer and laid a hand on her shoulder. “You won’t want to see this, trust me. We need the info, any way we can.”

“And I’m supposed to agree to this and leave Staci alone with you? ! ”

“Someone will need to hold them down,” Staci explained, following whatever Jacob was doing. He could see how unnerved the men became as they kept glancing to each other. “Jake’s right, Joey. You don’t want to be here when we skin them, that’s something you’ll never forget.” 

“I can’t just...” She looked hopelessly between Staci and Jacob, down at the knife and to the suspects. “Okay, I’ll drive around for a bit. I’ve got my radio so just call when you’re done.”

Joey looked away across the fields and took a shaky breath before steadying herself and reaching for the driver’s door. Her hand closed on it and Windbreaker broke down.

“Stop, stop, please! We’ll tell you!” He was sobbing, hunched over and pathetic and it made  Jacob grin triumphantly. 

Joey let go of the handle and Staci nudged her with his elbow as he stood, catching her eye. She saw something in his eyes, akin to Jacob’s pride, and she shivered. 

“There’s a bunker by the railyard. It’s where we took them”

“How many men?” Jacob asked.

“A dozen, most were at the warehouse.”

“Are Rook and John there now?”

Windbreaker nodded. “Yes, we locked them in a room together.”

Jacob grabbed his radio while Joey loaded the men into the truck. She slammed the door after them and turned to Staci, ignoring the reinforcement Jacob was calling in. She pulled him aside, out of earshot from the truck.

“Stace... You really scared me back there,” she admitted, grabbing his hand. Without the headlights shining on them, it was harder to see his expression but he squeezed her hand tightly.

“We weren’t- It was just to get them talking, Joey. I was just following Jacob’s lead and it worked. I was never going to do that, you know me.”

“I feel like I don’t. I barely know you anymore. Look, I know we don’t talk as much these days but I’m worried about you. It’s like I’ve missed something crucial here because it looks like Jacob is your buddy and- What he did to you, I can’t see you forgiving that. If that’s what you’ve done, then tell me. Cause you weren’t even supposed to know about this and then I see you coming back with Jacob and I... Just tell me you’re okay, that you’re not under his influence or whatever.” 

Joey took a deep breath and paused, her shoulders slumping as she finally spoke out. Staci pulled her into a hug. 

“I’m okay, really. I wanted to help so I did what I could, which so happens to be following him around. Look, he’s the only one capable of tracking down Rook. I’m doing what’s best for our friend.”

They stepped back but Joey held onto his hand. “You’re going with him, aren’t you? To the bunker.”

“I have to.”

She nodded, entirely unconvinced. Her fingers entwined with his and she was glad he couldn’t see her face well enough in the dark to see her tears. 

“I never told you this but you’ve always been my best friend. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner, even with your pranks and your drinking on the job. You have no idea how much I miss the days of sleeping round yours and eating takeout, just chatting about stupid shit until we passed out on the couch.”

“I miss that too. When this is over, do you want to hang out again? Just cause the world ended doesn’t mean we can’t have fun like the old days. I mean, we’re working on the cop thing but I’m sure I can find some booze too.”

Joey laughed softly through her tears and hugged him again. “Ah fuck these emotions. Someone will be here soon and I’d rather not look a wreck in front of them.”

“We’ll be okay, you know. We just have to get Rook back. And John.”

“Fuck John.”

Stace chuckled. “I think that’s more Rook’s thing. Look, it will all be over soon and we can just relax after. Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

Staci let her hand go for a moment so he could link their pinkies. She laughed again, a soft sound that was too weak and wobbly to make Staci smile but he had missed hearing it.

They heard the rumble of truck  engines  and two sets of headlights shined across the asphalt. The vehicles parked close and Jacob went straight to the drivers, discussing something they couldn’t understand. Staci led them back and he caught snippets of the  peggie’s report. 

“-place surrounded, just waiting for your orders, Sir.”

“Good.” Jacob noticed Staci. “You’re riding with me. My men are waiting to rush in, we’ll need to be quick.”

“Got it. Joey, I’ll see you after this is over.” He hugged her again and went to the truck, waiting for Jacob.

The soldier ended up grabbing Joey’s shoulder , surprising her with his forwardness . “You did good today, Hudson. Those guys in the other truck are going to escort you to the prison. Double security.”

“Thanks.” She paused and watched a  peggie climb in her truck. “Take care of Staci.”

“I will.”

“Just... be careful, both of you. It could be a trap.” 

Jacob squeezed her shoulder firmly, a small smile teasing his lips. “Don’t go soft on me, Hudson. Wouldn’t want someone to think you care about me, would  ya ?”

She looked back at him and stepped out of reach. “Not a chance. Call me when it’s done.”

He saluted at her and she mirrored him badly before she sat in her truck and drove off towards the prison , followed closely by the assigned  peggies . She had a longer drive than Jacob but he was the one heading into danger. She glanced back in the rearview in time to see  his truck  peel away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts on this chapter!


	44. Nyctophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally reached a satisfying end for this story but it will take some time before the final chapters are uploaded. The story will undergo a name change once it's complete. For now, enjoy this!

In the darkness, the P eggies were almost invisible in their black uniforms but Jacob knew where they were. Clustered to the side of trees,  lying  prone in the long grass, flanked against the side of the parked cars- everywhere he looked there was a rifle and the soldier to raise it.

The entrance to the bunker was the same as every other in the region; double metal doors that were sealed to the dusty ground, opening up to a long stairway and down into multiple rooms. This particular one had belonged to a large family before John convinced them to sell it, and it was huge with several rooms and utilities. Not as comfortable as the upgraded versions some lucky few owned but enough to survive the fallout. 

He gestured for them to march onwards, their orders were still to subdue but kill if necessary. He didn’t care if it upset some of the more trigger-happy P eggies or even the resistance . They were so close to finding his family. Yes, Rook was included even if he was a pain in the ass. Jacob was going to find an ankle monitor for the kid so he’d never disobey again, maybe place him under house-arrest for good. 

His men reached the doors and rushed in, yells and screams filling the night air, and Jacob followed with a team behind him. He grabbed the nearest man in tattered jeans and shoved him against a wall, smacking his head back forcefully. 

“Where are they? We know you have John and the Deputy!” Jacob yelled in his face, frightening the dizzy man. Somehow, he managed to gesture down the hall and twisted his hand left. Jacob dropped him on his ass and a P eggie took over. 

Jacob pushed people aside and knocked others into the walls as he stormed through. He reached where the man had pointed, a bland door  with no indication of its contents. The door was unlocked so he threw  it  open. His pistol was raised but there was only one person alive in the room, cowering in the corner. 

“John ! ” 

Jacob rushed to him, stepping over bodies as he reached his brother. He fell to his knees and gathered John in his arms, rubbing his back and holding him so close John could hardly breathe.

“Hey, Jake... I’m okay, oh it’s good to see you.” John tried to stand and Jacob grabbed his arm to help, only for John to cry out and recoil. “I think my wrist is broken, hurts like hell. We have to get to the ranch. They drugged Rook and sent him there to kill Joseph. Please, we have to go now.”

“Okay, we will. Everything will be okay, let’s get you on your feet.”

Staci appeared in the doorway, panting from the fight. Jacob beckoned him closer. 

“John’s injured, take care of him.” Staci came over and looped the Baptist’s arm around his shoulder, helping him walk around the bodies. “Rook’s at the ranch, John will fill you in. I have to go.”

Jacob didn’t wait a moment longer. He ran out of the room, calling on certain P eggies to join him. Staci glanced at all the bodies and then to John with his bloody face, ripped open shirt, and red claw marks down his chest to his waistband. All the blood had painted the room a horrifying crimson.

“What happened in here?”

“Rook tried to kill me, I fought back. When our captors realised, they took him away and left several guys with me. Told them they could do what they wanted to me before killing me.”

Staci stopped walking, helping John lean against a wall for support. He guided his hands down John’s torso carefully, looking for any serious injury beside his wrist and the awful marks. There were the usual bruises on his face that came from a fist but as he looked further down, he noticed John’s belt was fix ed badly and his jeans were unzipped. John realised too and he quickly zipped up before anyone else could see.

He met Staci’s concerned  gaze and smiled weakly, reaching out to playfully slap Staci’s cheek. 

“I’m  _ okay _ . They didn’t even get my jeans off before I killed one of them.”

“How?” 

Staci was looking around the room but he couldn’t see a weapon. John kept smiling and drew Staci’s attention to his mouth, coated in dried blood that he’d wiped off badly. When he showed his teeth, they were stained red too. John reached behind him and into a small hole in the inside of his waistband. He pulled out a thin piece of metal, sharp as a knife and bloody like everything else. 

“I bit the guy’s dick off and stabbed another guy in the stomach.”

Staci felt sick and he stopped looking around the room, not wanting to come across dismembered members. John hid his shank away and let the Deputy walk him out of the bunker. 

Those who’d been brought outside alive were shoved into a truck, handcuffed and headed straight to the prison. The dead were being burned in a pile far from the trucks, the smell only making Staci sicker. 

He guided John to one of the  car and sat him in the passenger seat as he looted the glovebox for a first aid kit. He found one and set to work cleaning John’s wounds, sympathetic to his pained winces as the disinfected stung. Once John looked decent and Staci had thrown the bloody wipes into the fire, he shrugged off the Chosen’s jacket and held it out for John.

John shook his head. “It’s alright.”

“You don’t want people to see you like this. Put it on.”

Reluctantly and with a sigh, John stood and let Staci pull it over his arms. His wrist was only dislocated but Staci had zero experience resetting bone s so he left it alone until they could find a doctor. John sat back down and Staci helped zip it up. He was left in a jumper but it was warm enough, plus they’d head to the ranch soon. 

“I don’t think you and I have spent  much  time together, have we?” John asked as he leaned back for Staci to replace the kit.

“Last time we talked, you tried to slam the door in my face.”

“I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t-  _ Sorry _ .” Staci waved dismissively. “Jacob talks a lot about you, you’re all he ever mentioned before. Like you were his prodigy.”

Staci chuckled and leaned back against the truck side. “It wasn’t like that.”

“You were with him, though. You came together to find me.”

“Had to find you and Rook, he was my best shot.” 

John peered out from the open doorway and gave Staci a long look, from his borrowed combat boots up to his scruffy face.  Staci didn’t like the way he smiled after, predatory and full of bloody teeth.

“I can see why he likes you so much.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

John rolled his eyes. “He’s been obsessed with you since you were given to him. My brother is incredibly stubborn but he knows what he likes and that's you.”

It was Staci’s turn to roll his eyes. “Jacob doesn’t like me. Not in the way you’re thinking, for certain. To him, I’m a good soldier and I know how to listen to his orders.” 

“Whatever you say, Deputy Pratt.”

“We should go. They might need our help.”

Staci rounded the front of the  car so he could climb in and start reversing. John shut his door. 

“Fat lot of good I’m going to be.” He held up his useless arm, bruised purple and yellow where the bone wasn’t sitting correctly. 

“Yeah, you’re  _ totally  _ defenceless. Bullshit, you got out of that situation pretty quick. I’m sure you can handle a bit more action. I mean, you’re a Seed. You guys are practically indestructible.”

John smiled to himself, agreeing wholly and soaking the compliment like a sponge. He glanced at Staci and decided in that moment that Jacob had good taste.

\---

Flood lights washed across the yard, interrupted by the passing guards as they patrolled routinely around the ranch.  Peggies were posted on the balcony and front doors, scanning the area as they waited for the truck convoys to return. 

Rook crouched behind a cluster of bushes growing by the fence. He’d already let a man walk past, convincing himself that letting him go was strategic. The Peggie was heading into the lit area and Rook wouldn’t snatch him in time without being seen. It had nothing to do with the way his hand shook and something he couldn’t understand was keeping him rooted in the shadows.

The rope hung from the window sill, blue and yellow cord swaying in the cold breeze. Rook waited a moment longer before leaping over the fence and making his way to the rope. He glanced both ways before pulling himself up the side of the house and crawled through the open gap.

He looked back out into the garden but no one had seen him.

Peeking out of John’s office, Rook noticed the corridor was empty and most of the doors were cracked open to ventilate the rooms. He could see Joseph’s door was open and he knew the man never slept without a closed door. It meant he was sleeping in the bunker, making Rook’s job far more difficult. The steps creaked as he headed downstairs into the hall. A Peggie was stood just outside the garden door, their silhouette taking up most of the glass pane. Rook clung to the walls as he heard a door open and a man stepped into the hall. 

Rook recognised him; Michael, the guy who was always smiling and attending to Joseph’s needs like it was his life’s purpose. His kind and gentle manner didn’t stop Rook from stalking up behind him, latching an arm across his throat and pulling him down. 

Michael gasped out, eyes wide open as he struggled against his assailant with flaying arms and bony fingers that dug into Rook’s arm. He tried to stumble back, forcing Rook into the wall in the hope of dislodge him. Rook grunted in pain but held tight, restricting the air as Michael slowed down and began to slump against Rook. 

The Deputy let go, forcing the man to lay down, and grabbed the knife from his belt. Michael coughed and groaned, trying to twist away , but as he  did he saw his opponent’s face.

“Deputy?”

Rook held the blade inches from the man’s chest and looked him in the eyes. He froze for a moment, straddled across Michael’s chest with his arms raised and ready to plunge the knife. 

“It’s me, it’s Michael. I’m not your enemy.” Michael held up his hands weakly and touched Rook’s hand, clasping his fingers over the handle. “I’m your friend, remember?”

Rook couldn’t stop trembling and he felt wetness on his cheeks. 

Weak. 

He was weak. 

He steadied his grip and saw how Michael’s expression changed from hope to realisation.

Rook gritted his teeth and slammed the knife down into Michael’s chest,  burying the blade down as far as it would go. Michael cried out in pain but Rook covered his mouth to muffle the sound. The man coughed and blood coated Rook’s fingers as he struggled to hold Rook, looking up at him in utter betrayal. The hands wrapped over the handle lost their grip and fell to Michael’s sides, limp and curling uselessly. 

When Michael became still and silent, Rook pulled his bloody hand away and wiped it across the P eggie’s shirt. He slowly rose up to his feet and left the knife sticking out, unwilling to pull it out. Some part reasoned that it was a message, another tried to believe it might save the man if he kept it in. But Michael wasn’t moving and he laid there with his eyes open, still fixed sorrowfully on Rook. 

Rook glanced around the dark room but no one had seen him hunched over the body or heard the man’s scream before it was cut off. Leaving Michael there, he went to the basement .

\---

Joseph couldn’t sleep. He kept glancing at the door hoping to see Rook and John step through like nothing had ever happened. It was his fault, he shouldn’t have given Rook as much freedom even if it felt wrong to keep him locked up. If he had been stricter, his family wouldn’t be missing. He sighed and ran a hand through his long hair. Although he had dozens of hair ties, when Rook stole his one in  Dutch’s bunker he wordlessly agreed to keep it down most days . He glanced down at the Bible beside his bed and reached out to brush the old leather cover with his fingertips.

“It would be nice if you gave me a sign,” Joseph muttered to no one in particular, looking up at the ceiling.

Boomer was curled up at the end of the bed, flattened to the sheets, and whined. Joseph extended his hand and the dog crawled up on sleepy leg s and sat down closer. He rested his head on Joseph’s arm and sniffed at the notebook in his lap. 

It was the same one Rook had gifted him at Christmas but Joseph was unable to write lately, too worried about  the state of  his family. He shut the book gently and set it on the side, scratching behind Boomer’s floppy ears and rubbing his neck with a firm touch. The dog melted against him.

Joseph was about to switch off the light when Boomer perked his head up and barked. He jumped off the bed and barked at the door, pawing at it and bouncing on his hind legs.

“What is it?” Joseph pulled away the covers and opened the door, hope sparking in his heart as Boomer sprinted out into the hallway. The jovial barking turned into a growl and Joseph glanced out, trying to peer into the dark. The nearest light switch was further along the wall but the glow from his room spilled out enough to see a shape standing in the middle of the corridor .

“Rook? Is that you?”

The shape moved closer and Boomer ran back to Joseph, whining and curling around the preacher’s leg. Joseph had never seen him behave like that. 

They finally reached the light and Joseph exhaled in relief, a smile growing across his face as he laughed happily. He held his arms out, encouraging Rook to step forward. The Deputy kept moving but Boomer barked and growled at him, coming up in front of Joseph to protect him.

“I’m so glad you’re okay. Did you get home by yourself? Everyone’s looking for you-” Boomer snarled and  bared his fangs at Rook and he didn’t  stop when Joseph shushed him. 

Rook took another step and as Boomer tried to lash out, Rook kicked the dog’s side and sent him back into the bedroom. Joseph was frozen in shock and Rook shut the door before Boomer could regain his senses. They heard the dog barking furiously behind it and Joseph found himself in complete darkness with Rook.

“Rook? What’s going on?” He heard Rook move in the dark, the subtle shift of clothing. “Please stop this.”

A hand wrapped blindly around his arm, tugging him forward. Joseph tried to push him away. 

“Let go of me. Rook, stop. Whatever this is, we can talk through it. Okay, let’s sit down and work this out-” Joseph planted his  hands on Rook’s chest when he felt nails dig into his bare arm. “No, don’t touch me!”

He managed to get his arm back and tried to put space between them. Rook moved again but this time Joseph turned and ran down the hall. He knew where he was going but the darkness made him fearful of taking a wrong step. Rook chased him, following only by the sound. They were both blind but Joseph had helped design the bunker, he just had to hide somewhere and hope Rook didn’t find him.

Joseph turned down another corridor and curled up in the open corner, taking  a  spot Rook wasn’t likely to brush his hand against if he was guiding himself using the walls. He heard footsteps draw near and clamped a hand over his nose, forced to breathe more quickly through his mouth. He hadn’t need to use that technique since his father was arrested and Joseph felt sick, desperate to stay quiet as Rook hunted him.

Rook passed him and carried on down the corridor, his steps fading. Once Joseph could no longer hear him, he stood and headed back the way he came. He prayed Rook wouldn’t loop around. The light under his door gave him a landmark but he couldn’t open  it , not without compromising his position, so he kept moving until he passed the living room. The bunker door was so close, he could see the red dot on the keypad. 

Joseph typed in the numbers, cursing as each digit beeped, and the locks released with a loud buzz. He grabbed the handle but he was wrenched back  by his hair  and thrown to the floor. Rook was straddling his legs a second later, holding him down by his wrists as Joseph tried to shove him off. The preacher managed to get one arm free and grabbed Rook’s throat, intending to choke him into passiveness. His fingers brushed hard plastic over his ears so he pulled the thin wire dangling down. 

The haunting tune of Only You filled the air between them and Joseph fought not to freeze in place. He yanked out the other earbud and pressed his palm heavily against Rook’s throat, causing him to choke and wheeze. Rook had no weapons or he would’ve used them, so he retaliated by strangling Joseph back. It was a race to see who’d last the longest. 

Joseph’s vision began to swim and he felt dizzy and uncoordinated as the oxygen wouldn’t reach his lungs, but he felt Rook weakening as well. The Deputy’s grip loosened and Joseph gritted his teeth, trying to squeeze harder until Rook gasped out and let go. He clawed at Joseph’s hand and was only given air again when the preacher shoved him off.

They both coughed and sucked in air quickly, Joseph pushing himself up to his hands and knees. He could feel Rook’s leg bending at the knee and extending several times as he squirmed on his back. Joseph was up on his feet quicker and used the precious time he had to open the bunker door at last and locked Rook in, but not before switching the lights in the hallway on. It wasn’t much. Rook knew the code as well,  it just had to buy him more time.

Joseph dragged himself up through the basement and into the house. He switched lights on as he went, trying to shake off the claustrophobic darkness, and found a guard. Once the alarm was raised, he sat down in the hall on the couch and shoved his face in his hands. When he sighed and opened his eyes, they fell on Michael. 

He rushed to him, falling to his knees as he shook Michael. 

“Please...” 

Joseph weakly sobbed, petting the P eggie’s face and brushing hair aside. He vaguely heard the front door open and felt  Jacob grab him from behind, pulling him away. Two P eggies joined and tried to help Michael and Joseph’s eyes were fixed on him, refusing to listen as Jacob asked him questions. Michael was carried away and Joseph stared at the puddle of blood left behind, ignoring how Jacob held him tightly and mumbled reassurances in his ear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts and kudos are appreciated!!


	45. The cliff behind the house

Rook woke to the song playing close to his head. He reached out blindly and pushed the earbuds further away and groaned as he sat up. He hissed in pain and fell back, gulping for air as every limb ached. His throat hurt and he croaked as he tried to call out for help. As he moved, he felt the cuts open back up and the warmth of blood making his shirt stick to his skin even more. 

Taking deep breaths, Rook managed to sit up by  rolling himself onto his side and then folding his legs beneath him. His hands braced on the floor as his world tilted and he almost fell down again. Seeing his hands, he noticed one was caked in blood. It stuck under his nails and between his fingers. 

It took half an hour to get up to his feet and key in the passcode for the door. Another to stumble across the basement, falling against furniture and crates and leaving red stains on everything he touched. He was exhausted and his body was slow to respond as he pulled himself up the stairs on his hands and knees. He managed with the closet door and found himself staring up at a rifle, aimed right between the eyes.

“The Deputy got out,” the P eggie shouted, painfully loud to Rook’s sensitive ears. He saw people joining them and his legs decided in that moment to falter and buckle, sending him forward. 

Jacob caught him easily, holding him up before leaning down to scoop Rook into his arms and carry him like a child. The concern in his eyes worried Rook as he was deposited on the dining table in the hall. He looked over at the couch, confused as to why he wasn’t allowed to be comfortable. 

A light shined in his eyes suddenly,  with  pin-prick accuracy and painful ly bright . His head was forced still by Jacob’s warm hands on either side of his face and  the soldier  dragged his thumb across his unbruised cheek.

“You’ll be okay. The doctor just needs to check on you.”

Rook focused his eyes on Jacob’s face as someone poked and prodded him, making Rook wince in pain and try to move away.

“I’ll have to cut his clothes away, the damage seems extensive,” the doctor said, and Jacob nodded and kept Rook still. 

The Deputy felt the cold metal of the scissors cutting away his shirt and jeans- not the nice ones John had lent him. He laid there obediently as antiseptic was washed over his cuts and bruises and the worst wounds were stitched closed. Jacob hushed his pained whimpers and brushed a hand down his greasy, bloody hair. 

“He’ll need bed rest for a few days and constant monitoring. Without the proper equipment, I can’t tell if the damage is internal as well. He doesn’t have any broken or fractured bones but he might have a head injury. Dizziness is normal, it will stop soon. If he coughs up blood or starts having seizures-” 

Rook passed out before the doctor finished explaining his condition to Jacob. 

When he woke up again, he was lying on his back in Joseph’s bed  upstairs . The windows were wide open, allowing the sunshine  in  and the spring breeze to flutter the thin drapes. The white walls glowed a  warm  yellow from the natural light, casting a peaceful atmosphere in the room. 

Rook exhaled gently and glanced around, his eyes falling on Joseph sitting at the desk.

“Hey, handsome...” Rook mumbled with a soft smile, catching his lover’s attention.

Joseph jumped out of his chair instantly, coming to the bed so he could touch Rook’s face gently. He smiled too but his eyes were red and he had dark circles beneath them.  There were purple stains on his throat that he didn’t bother to cover with his shirt collar.  Rook reached out and found his arms tied down to the bed.

“It’s just a precaution,” Joseph said with no intention of untying him. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. How do you feel?” 

“Like shit. Everything hurts,” Rook croaked, sounding like a chain-smoker as he coughed.

“The doctor  gave you  some painkillers. Here.” Joseph took a packet from the bedside table and popped out a couple pills, depositing one on Rook’s tongue as he helped him sit up. Carefully he tipped a glass of water past Rook’s lips, giving him the second pill after. 

“Thanks, but I need to get back out there. John was with me and they separated us-” 

“John’s fine. He was brought home last night. Everyone is here, don’t worry.”

Rook sighed in relief. “I want to see him.”

“Not right now. You both need to rest. He was injured as well.” Joseph tried to let him down easy, stroking his cheek.

“I know, it’s my fault. Please, Joseph, I need to see him.”

“Jacob explained everything. You can’t be blamed for reacting to the song. You weren’t in control, no one blames you.” Joseph leaned down  and  press ed their foreheads together. 

“Joseph, please. I’m begging you, let me talk to John .”

“Okay. I’ll go find him.” Joseph kissed his head, lingering for a moment, before stepping away. He was reluctant to leave the room, glancing back at Rook before he convinced himself to go. 

Rook breathed out slowly as the pain subsided and looked down at himself. The blanket covered him up to his waist and bandages climbed up the rest, wrapped around his torso. He  could n’t remember getting them or who d id it. He had no recollection after the song came on in that cell with John. 

Looking over to his arm, he saw heavy bandages on his bicep where he’d been shot. It ached deeply but the medication was taking care of it. 

The bedroom door opened and John step ped in . His arm was in a sling and  he had  several butterfly bandages on his face. Despite his rough appearance, John smiled brightly and joined  Rook’s side.

“Hello, you.” John reached out with his uninjured hand and bumped Rook’s jaw gently with his knuckles . “You look terrible.”

“ So do you.” 

Rook glanced up to see Joseph stepping aside in the doorway to allow Jacob in before he closed the door . The soldier sat on the edge of the desk and Joseph took the chair,  Jacob’s hand falling on his younger brother’s shoulder and rubbing it compassionately .

“Is it over?” Rook asked to all of them. 

“Not entirely,” Jacob replied. “We still have to deal with the prisoners but it’s over for you, at least. From now on, you’re going to rest and gather your strength.”

“As long as you’re okay. I’ll fight if I need to.”

Jacob smiled fondly. “We know. You’ve done your part, kid. Wasn’t  easy finding you both so no more running away.” 

Rook had the decency to look ashamed. “I’m sorry, I know I worried you all. I  just  knew I could get them out of hiding and I was right.”

“Next time someone wants to kill you, you stay with us. I’m not going to send out another army to find you.” Jacob sighed tiredly and heaved himself up to join Rook’s side too. He glanced at John. “And you, don’t follow his example. He’s a terrible influence.”

“Sorry, Jacob,” John mumbled, finding the bedsheets very interesting instead of meeting his brother’s eyes. 

Jacob scoffed and leaned down, pressing his forehead to Rook’s. He didn’t dare kiss him but he wanted to. When he pulled away, he ruffled Rook’s hair and reached over to John to do the same.

“Ah, I’m going to shower and take a nap. Some of us haven’t slept since you disappeared.”

“I’m sorry,” Rook said quietly, taking up  John’s interest in the bedsheets. He heard  Jacob sigh.

“You’re home safe, both of you. That’s all I care about  right now. Plus, you did end up leading us right to them. Eventually. Rest up, kiddo. You’re going to need it; a lot of your resistance friends want to see you.”

Jacob went to Joseph, grabbed his face with one hand and kissed the side of his head, just above his temple. Rook watched the sweet exchange with a weak smile as Jacob rounded the bed and gave John the same treatment, only he held John a bit longer. When he left, all of them were left staring at the door. 

“What did he mean by a lot?” 

“While Jacob was trying to find us, he found a refugee camp close to the prison. Mrs  Drubman and Pastor Jeffries are leaders there,” John explained. “A  lot of manpower was used to find us.”

Joseph nodded and crossed the space to sit on the bed, too far from Rook to be comfortable. He grabbed his hand and began undoing the rope, rubbing the sensitive skin with his thumbs and massaging the palm of Rook’s hand. The Deputy groaned in pleasure at one of the few parts of his body that didn’t throb in pain. 

“The county banded together to find you both. Sheriff Whitehorse gave us a helping hand, lent us his officers. Even Mr Rye helped. Without them, we surely would not have gotten to John in time.”

Rook glanced  at John and used his freed hand to draw him into a careful hug. It was difficult, with the sling and Rook’s torn up chest, but they managed. John closed his eyes to enjoy it more.

“Rook, those people sent you back here last night. Do you remember anything?” 

“No, I don’t.  Last thing I saw was John- I don’t blame you,  by the way, for the music . You had to or we both would have been killed.”

John whimpered, burying his face in  Rook’s neck where he could hide the shame and guilt. Rook was right but that didn’t make it easier. 

“Sorry, Joseph. Everything from that moment to waking up in the bunker is blank. I didn’t- Did I hurt you?”

Joseph nodded and freed his other hand, trying to show Rook that he wasn’t afraid like he had been during the night. Rook looked up at the bruises on his neck and gulped.

“Yes, they brought you here to kill me. Rook, this will not be easy to hear but you harmed someone last night. Do you remember Michael?”

_ I’m your friend, remember?  _ Rook suddenly felt sick. The brothers saw the change in him and Joseph reacted immediately, grabbing a bucket from  beside the bed and pushing it in Rook’s hands. John dutifully pulled his hair back. He didn’t vomit, there was nothing in his stomach but water, but he dry-heaved and coughed harshly. When he sat back, John stroked his arm and Joseph handed him the water again.

“I killed him. I didn’t mean to, he wasn’t- I could’ve just knocked him out but I...” Rook cried out and covered his face with his hands, trying to calm himself down with steady breaths. John curled up against his back while Joseph encouraged Rook to drop his hands.

“Rook, calm yourself. You didn’t kill him. Rook,  _ Rook _ , look at me.” He managed to dislodge his hands and pulled them away, brushing Rook’s curly hair behind his ears. “He was in a very bad condition but he’s alive.”

“I stabbed him!”

“You left the knife in. It saved his life by plugging  up  the wound. He’s unconscious but the same doctor that treated you gave him a transfusion. It’s alright, he’ll live.”

Rook threw himself at Joseph, embracing him and burying his face in his lover’s chest. Joseph rubbed his back and hushed his sobs, as John came up closer behind him.

“Everything is going to be okay, my dear. John and I are going to let you rest, you’ll need your strength when you show these people how strong you are.”

Rook moved his head up and kissed Joseph’s lips softly, without much effort since he was too tired. But Joseph smiled and kissed him back. 

“I love you so much,” Rook said through his tears. He turned to John and kissed him as well. “I love you both so much.”

“We love you too,” Joseph replied, petting Rook’s hair and encouraging him to lie back down. “Now get some sleep. There’s a guard outside the door so if you need anything, just ask them. We’ll be downstairs, no one is leaving the house.”

“Okay...” Rook reluctantly let go of his lovers and let John kiss him once more before he left. Joseph lingered only for a minute longer. “Did I hurt you?”

“I’ll make sure that song disappears. Jacob is working on a cure for Deputy Pratt and once he’s finished, he’ll cure you too.” 

Rook wasn’t sure if that would ever happen so instead, he asked,  “Can I see my pets?”

“I’ll have someone bring them up. Just be gentle around Boomer, you scared him. He tried to protect me and you weren’t the kindest to him.” 

Rook nodded slowly, tears welling up again at the thought of hurting his dog and never knowing it had happened. Joseph left and minutes later, he heard the pattering of claws on the hardwood. The guard opened the door and allowed Boomer and Peaches inside.

The cougar jumped onto the bed, mewling softly and nudging him with her head. Boomer was hesitant, staying by the door.

“It’s okay, Boom, it’s me. I won’t hurt you.” Rook gestured with a heavy hand for the dog to climb up and he did, settling at the foot of the bed and watching Rook carefully. The Deputy passed out quickly.

\---

Nick tried to keep up the frown and the pouting as he stood by and watched  Peggies roam around the ranch like cockroaches but as more normal people arrived, he found himself relaxing. He turned his attention to Kim and Carmina and saw the resistance ladies coo over their child. 

The stairs creaked and he saw Jacob coming down, diverting straight to the  hallway door . Nick let him go, not wanting to talk to him if he could avoid it. He fidgeted with the plaster on his arm and ignored the doctor’s order to sit and relax after giving blood. It was a good thing he’d stuck around and happened to have the right blood type. Although it meant he’d saved a Peggie, he knew he did the right thing stepping up when the doctor had run around asking if anyone was O-negative. 

Nick was about to join his wife when the other Seeds came down. Neither ran  away and Joseph cleared his throat, moving to stand in front of the gathered crowd in his living room.

“If I could just have a moment of your attention, please. I want to inform you that Deputy Rook woke up and he’s fine. He’s resting for the moment but I’m sure you’ll be able to say hello this afternoon.”

There were relieved sighs among everyone including a few  Peggies , surprisingly. Nick caught his wife’s eyes and smiled at her.

“I’d also like to thank you all. Every person in this room contributed immensely to John and Rook’s recovery and I’m incredibly grateful for your help. We wouldn’t have managed without you.” Joseph paused and took a deep breath. Nick wasn’t sure if it was for theatrics but he could see the nasty bruises on the preacher’s neck, so he was willing to believe the man was just emotional. “Thank you. Really. I know you hate us and you’d rather be anywhere else, but you really helped us in our time of need.”

Joseph glanced away and chuckled, trying to hide the fact that he was uncomfortable in front of the crowd that would rather see him headless. The resistance said nothing and Nick was  certain they’d return back to their conversation, until Kim started walking towards Joseph. She never paused and Nick was worried about their baby in her arms as she approached. 

Joseph watched her curiously, his eyes drifting down to Carmina. Kim smiled and freed one arm, cradling her child to her chest as she gestured for Joseph to hug her.

“Come here,” she said softly, wrapping her arm around the preacher’s back as far as she could reach without disturbing Carmina. Her hand rubbed his back and Nick watched with wide eyes behind his sunglasses as Joseph returned the embrace carefully. When Kim pulled away, she was smiling. 

“Thank you,” Joseph mumbled, a little bit shell-shocked but smiling too. 

It was like the floodgates broke as the resistance members all found ways to show their approval of Joseph’s improved behaviour. Grace shook the man’s hand while Jess stood beside her and nodded, Staci patted his back, and Joey surprised everyone by going for a hug. Nick could see how Joseph relaxed and accepted it, his shy smile turning into something happy. A glimpse of the man none of them knew except maybe Rook. 

Nick was the last one and he told himself he didn’t need Kim’s elbow to his ribs to convince him to shake Joseph’s hand. As he tried to step back, Joseph held him there. 

“I wanted to thank you personally, Mr Rye, on behalf of the man you saved last night. His name is Michael and once he wakes up, I’m certain he’ll want to thank you himself.”

“It was nothing,” Nick shrugged off, letting his hand drop from Joseph’s warm ones. 

“That’s not true. You could have stayed silent and Michael would have joined God in Heaven. Instead, you gave him a chance. Considering our past-”

“Look, all I saw was a guy bleeding to death. It’s not about what side he's on. I’m glad he’s okay but now I just want to go home and care for my wife and daughter. I don’t want to think about the cult any longer than I have to.”

Joseph nodded, taking  the coarseness that came with Nick well. “Of course. I understand. You’re welcome to stay, though, in case you want to speak to Rook later today.”

“Yeah, just till then.” Nick stepped back, and looked over to Kim and saw she was talking to John. Whatever calmness he’d had evaporated as he saw him dangle his fingers above Carmina’s grabby hands. He dodged a couple people to reach them and shoved John backwards against a wall with a hand to his chest.

“Nick!” Kim fussed, her face red with embarrassment. 

“Don’t touch my daughter,” Nick growled, stepping between John and his wife. John cleared his throat and held up his undamaged hand up in defence. He ignored the way the wood had hurt his back.

“I said he could. Nick, please, don’t make a scene.” 

“I’m sorry, forgive me,” John said, retreating from the couple awkwardly. “Kim, it was lovely to see you and Carmina. Nick.” He nodded and  left through the garden door. 

“Was that really necessary, Nick? You didn’t have to push him.”

“He deserves a lot worse-” 

Kim grabbed his arm and pulled him to a quiet corner of the hall. “Stop it. Not here. Can’t you see the state they’re in? I hate John too, I haven’t forgotten the rumours he spread about our daughter, but now is not the time.” She sighed and changed hip to hold Carmina. “Would you please go find him and apologise?”

Nick’s eyes went wide behind the lenses and his eyebrows peeked over the rim. “Apologise? To John Seed? I think you’re the one who needs to lie down, not me.”

Kim couldn’t cross her arms but she wanted to, her eyes spoke as much. Nick knew it was best not to argue so he sighed and went outside. 

He was grateful for the sunglasses as the sun shined brightly through the trees. It wasn't just for aesthetic. He glanced across the garden dotted with vegetable plots, all growing green and healthy. It looked better than the miserable plot he had behind the cabin, no matter how much Kim worked back there to grow food. 

John was leaning against the fence and as Nick approached, he saw the drop just a couple metres beyond the fencing. It ran down steeply and ended with a gushing river at the bottom, the rocks large and jagged. He decided not to stand too close to the edge. 

“Listen, I shouldn’t have done that,” Nick started, not bothering to announce himself since John glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “You’ve been through some shit lately and that wasn’t kind of me.”

“Did Kim force you to come out and say sorry?”

Nick sighed and crossed his arms. There was no point pretending. “Yeah. I don’t really give a shit.”

“What a great apology. I can just feel the guilt coming off you in waves, it’s almost suffocating how sorry you are.” 

“Alright, alright, enough. Jesus.”

John smirked and looked beyond the fence, to the peaks of the evergreens on the opposite bank. “It’s fine. I’ll tell her you were _very_ honest with me.”

“Uh huh. Hey, just to rub salt in the wound- Jacob let me fly your plane.”

John whirled back around, his face twisted with anger for a moment before he calmed himself. Nick stood there, observing silently though inside he was gleeful. 

“Lucky you. I suppose it’s only fair. I did steal your plane.” John deflated, looking even more tired. “What did you think of her?”

Nick sighed and came a bit closer. “I can’t lie, best thing I’ve ever flown. It  ain’t as good looking or as charismatic as Carmina, but she’s a smooth ride.”

John smiled just a bit. “Thanks.”

“Stupid fucking name, though.” The smile disappeared and John rolled his eyes. “Still, you’ve got a good taste for fine machinery.”

“I haven’t flown since the bombs. I forgot what it’s like up there. All this mess,” he gestured vaguely behind him at the house. “Takes up all my time.  Plus now, I can’t fly even if I wanted to until my wrist heals.”

“How did that even happen?”

“Short version is they used Rook to hurt me. Once he was taken away, some guys stayed with me in the cell for some fun.”

Nick frowned.  Surely he didn’t mean-

“I did what I had to do to survive. Always have.” John trailed off, ignoring the worry on Nick’s face. The pilot crossed the last few steps between them and grabbed his shoulder.

“What do you mean by that? They just beat you up, right?”

John’s fake smile wobbled and he glanced away, his eyes prickling. He shook his head, dislodging some of the longer strands. “It’s fine, it’s not the first time. At some point you just learn to block it out, go to your happy place and all that shit.”

Nick felt a pang of guilt for having shoved John now, not having known the depth of his injuries. His hand moved to rub John’s back, over the satin of his waistcoat. He didn’t understand why he didn’t settle for something cosier than formal clothes, but John was trying to act normal. 

He heard John take shaky breaths that wavered. “I lied to my brothers. They don’t know what happened in that room except that I killed the men responsible. Those guys, uh,” John chuckled like they were having a laugh but he was trying not to cry. Nick wasn’t an asshole, though, so he kept his mouth shut. “Yeah, they raped me. All of them.”

The admission pushed John over the edge and he let a sob out, immediately covering it up with his hand as if it would make a difference. Nick pushed aside everything he’d bottled up concerning John and pulled the crying man into his arms. Not how he thought his day would go.

“I’m okay, it wasn’t so bad. They didn’t fuck me or anything,” John babbled, trying to make it all so normal and not worth batting an eye. Nick held him tighter, angling John’s head to rest on his chest right above the scarred flesh. He ignored it and tried to focus on something other than John’s hands fisting his t-shirt. “You know, they just groped me a bit, used my mouth. I can’t complain, I've had worse. I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s just so stupid.”

“Nick?” 

Neither men had noticed Joey just a couple metres away, standing in her uniform and listening to John’s whimpered confession. She had a hand to her mouth and his words had clearly shaken her.

“Hey, Hudson. Now’s not a good time. If Kim’s asking for me, can you just tell her I’ll be a while longer?”

From the look on her face, that was the reason she’d  seeked him out. “Should we get him inside?”

John pulled away from Nick, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and chuckled like it was all good fun. “No, no, don’t worry about me. I’m alright.”

“You’re really not. Have you showered?” Nick asked, because that would be his first step after such an experience.  Yes he was dressed better than when he’d come home in tattered clothes, but he knew the man had not slept. John had never stayed still for long once he'd returned, only to get changed.

John shook his head, sniffling loudly. “No.”

“Yeah, let’s get you upstairs. Come on. I’m not leaving you out here.” Nick held out his arm, gesturing for John to move his ass but he stayed planted by the fence. He saw the way the  baptist’s eyes roamed the drop.

“Why not? Why do you even  fucking care? After what I’ve done to you both, I should just do you a favour and jump. Save you the fucking trouble of pushing me.” John’s hand gripped the fence and Joey intervened, grabbing his arm and pulling him away. “Let me go!” 

“Enough,” she said, like she was talking to a child. Nick didn’t think that  tone would help so he made sure to stand between John and the fence. “Enough, stop. John, you are not going to jump.”

“I wish I could kill them all again for what they did. They- they...” John staggered out of Joey’s grip and fell to his knees, bending over and crying softly. 

Joey exchanged a look with Nick and together they sat down beside him. She looked torn on what to do and Nick felt the same. Sure, John was a mess but he’d still hurt them deeply. A lifelong pain that would never go away. Both of them could just stand up and leave John’s fate in his own hands. If he jumped, there would be one less Seed to worry about. 

Nick stood and Joey looked up in surprise. “I’ll be right back.”

Joey watched him leave and all she wanted to do was run away with him. She looked back at John and cringed at how weak and pathetic he was in that moment, bent over and sobbing in his hands. She couldn’t bring herself to say he deserved it because no one, not even John Seed, should have to experience that. It made her grateful he’d never done more than punch her a few times and carve a couple sins into her back. The wounds healed and she’d get a tattoo over the scars someday. 

When she thought Nick had truly abandoned her with John, he came back with Kim and their daughter. From the look on Kim’s face, one of sadness and sympathy, Nick had told her about John’s capture. She sat down in front of John, holding her baby close, and rested a hand on his shoulder.

“John? Sweetie, look at me,” she said, brushing some of his hair behind his ear and ignoring the frown on her husband’s face. John shakily brought his head back away from his hands and glanced up at her. “I need you to promise me you won’t do anything stupid. There are people in that house who love you more than anything. You have to be strong, I know it’s hard but you can’t quit it all.”

“What if I deserved it?” 

“Hon, no one deserves to live through that. They were angry, spiteful, horrible people and you shouldn’t end everything because of them. What you can do now is clean yourself up, make it through today and the next day, and keep going.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

Kim glanced up at Nick for help, and then to Joey but neither knew how to answer  that. “We can’t stop you if that’s what you really want. But think of all the things you’ll miss out on; our little world getting bigger, your siblings’ lives, what if Joseph and Rook decide to get married? You won’t see my daughter grow up, you’d never fly again. John, there’s so much out there for you so really think about what you’re saying.”

Carmina decided in that moment to babble happily, a string of cute noises followed by giggles as she tried to grab John. She was too far, too bundled in her mother’s arms, but her eyes were set on him and her fingers stretched out to play. 

John wiped his hand on his jeans before giving her a couple fingers to hold. She giggled more, bubbly and contagious as John smiled at her through his tears and wiggled his fingers. He looked up at Kim.

“Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.”

Kim smiled and pulled him into an awkward hug, trying to keep Carmina safe but also providing some comfort to the man who’d tortured her husband and once claimed Carmina was his child. Looking at him now, she saw nothing resembling the prick she’d known before. John had changed a lot as well, it wasn’t just Joseph who’d undergone some behaviour checks.

“Let’s get you inside. Nick, you’re the only guy around here so you can help him.”

Nick sputtered and grunted an annoyed  _ yes dear _ , hoisting John to his feet and moving him in the direction of the house. Joey watched the boys leave and turned to Kim.

“That was nice of you,” she commented. “After everything he’s done.”

“Everyone deserves a second chance,” Kim answered simply. “I can see he’s changed and he’s still got a  _ long  _ way to go, but it’s a start. Don’t you think?” 

“I’d prefer to see him locked up for life. But you’re right, it’s a start. Are you going to take back your house one of these days? They’ve got a P eggie housekeeping it at the moment but I’m sure you could take it back.”

Kim pulled a face at the thought of someone staying in her house. “It’s a thought. Nick’s going stir crazy in the mountains with all the bears and I can’t grow anything in the soil. It would be nice to go home.”

“Did you know Nick flew  John’s plan yesterday?”

“Ha, bet he had fun. I miss seeing Nicky in the sky. Thanks, Joey.”

The Deputy smiled and bumped elbows with Kim, waving to Carmina before they separated inside the house to talk to their own friends. 


	46. Adopted Father

Normally, Jacob respected his brothers’ rules but he needed peace and quiet and he’d only achieve that in the bunker. He felt an ounce of guilt as he typed the passcode in and flicked on the lights, but Rook had already brought him down here before. This time it was just him. He couldn’t risk sleeping exposed to whichever resistance fighter might sneak up the stairs and slip a knife between his ribs while his guard was down. Surely Joseph would understand .

Jacob had not seen his assigned room since he’d secured the ranch after the bombs, only to be kicked out by his own mistakes. He pushed open the door and saw the mess it had been left in when he’d grabbed what little clothes he had and brought them to the Vet’s centre. 

The bedsheets were pulled back on one side, the drawers hanging out, and the wardrobe doors wide open. He was exhausted but still he forced himself to clean the room, shoving things back into place as he picked out some fresh clothes to sleep in. His shirt was caked with dried blood after handling Rook and John and there was mud on his  black cargoes from the walk by the lake. 

He threw the dirty clothes in a pile by the door, missing the laundry basket, and stared at the fabric like he was blaming it instead of himself for not landing in the basket. He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and went into his shower. The water didn’t take long to warm up and he thanked his brother’s endless pit of money for all the commodities he could afford. Regardless of whether Jacob could survive in the woods without a hot shower, he still preferred to be clean and healthy.

The water washed over his back as he rested his forehead on the cold milky - coffee  coloured  tiles. Being alone meant he could finally relax and unburden himself of all the pressure and fear from the past couple of days. It felt like longer but maybe it was the sleep deprivation. He allowed himself a couple minutes to just enjoy the steam and water because he grabbed one of the fancy gels John  insisted they needed. Jacob couldn’t have cared less if he smelled like cedar and exotic spices but it did the job of scrubbing off the blood and dirt from his hands and face. 

He didn’t bother to touch the many products his brother had shoved under the sink and used the same soap on his hair, untangling the long strands. The sides were needed to be clipped off soon as the hair was easily a centimetre long and therefore unacceptable. He’d put it off for a while and he’d continue to do so for one more day, not willing to stand in front of the mirror and carefully shave it down to the skin. Jacob simply did not have the energy or patience. 

He dipped his head under the stream and ruffled the soap out of his hair before grabbing the bottle again and going over his body once more. So what if maybe he wanted to enjoy the full benefits of a hot shower? The vet centre didn’t have enough water for even a cold one , not when their only source came from the nearby lake and rain. 

He brought a hand down his chest and had to look as he went over certain numb areas, and grabbed his cock fully intending on just a hygienic pass. Jacob’s body had other ideas and he let his hand wrap around his length, stroking gently as he hardened. He brought one arm  up to the tiles  to rest his head as he jerked himself off slowly. It had been a while since he’d been alone and able to enjoy himself. 

There was no one even in the bunker. He had total and complete privacy. That thought only spurred him on and Jacob had to force himself to stop, otherwise he’d finish before truly starting. He wiped the subs off and shut the water, grabbing a towel and rubbing himself down quickly. 

He didn’t bother putting the fresh t-shirt and sweatpants on, knowing he’d likely ruin them in his fun.  After c hecking that his door was locked, regardless of the empty bunker and security door, he went straight to his wardrobe. 

On the golden pine shelf was a box he kept hidden behind spare blankets. He pulled it out and threw it onto the bed before closing the wardrobe door. Making himself comfortable under the heavy furs and woollen blankets, he shoved them down mid-thigh and propped a second pillow behind his head. It had been so long he’d probably pass out afterwards, might as well be comfortable.

He opened the box and pulled out a long plastic tube with two lids on the end. Grabbing a bottle of lube, he unscrewed the largest lid on the tube and poured the scented liquid down into the silicone mouth awaiting him behind it. When he stopped and capped the lube, he brushed a thumb across the bottom lip. It wasn’t modelled to be either male or female, just a pair of lips and a hole between them that led down into a moulded tunnel filled with bumps and waves.

Just the smell of strawberries from the lube was enough to make his cock harden again. It was conditioned into him to respond like that. His first scented lube was strawberry and that was all the drugstore kept in stock in Rome. Once he was back on his feet after his discharge, he never picked another scent.

Jacob tipped the mouth down towards the tip of his cock as he stroked himself, letting the excess lube drip down on the head and over his fingers. He groaned deep in his throat as he worked it over his cock, rubbing over the slit to gather the precum and mix it with the lube. 

Satisfied with the hardness, he let his hand drop to the base so he could hold it steady as he brought the  fleshlight down. The hole spread around his girth pleasantly, stretching to accommodate as he pushed past the first set of textures. Little soft tendrils stroked the head and he dragged the toy up and down just to feel them move against him. He kept going an inch or two further where the silicon e tightened with thick bumps. Further along were ridges that became smaller and smaller until they almost came to a point before hitting the second lid. He grinded up into them and let out another deep groan that rumbled in his throat. God he fucking missed this. 

Bringing the toy back up, each texture pressed against his cock. He almost pulled out, working the tip in slow motions before taking it out and rubbing the wet head over the lips. Jacob closed his eyes and tried to pretend he was getting a real blowjob.

In his mind’s eye he saw dark hair and soft pink lips kissing and licking his cock, worshipping it with just their mouth as they trailed down the thick vein and dragged their teeth back up. Jacob let out a shaky breath, moving the silicone mouth in tandem with his thoughts as it slipped lower to his balls. He wanted nothing more than for a warm, wet tongue to run over them and suck them into an eager mouth. To edge him with kisses and kitten licks, maybe convince him to pull his knees up to his chest and expose his hole. Let them explore it with their tongue, dip inside and suck at the tight rim, lap him up wildly until he was a shaking mess. 

Jacob pulled the toy away to catch his breath and realised he’d been rubbing his cock between the lips and jerking himself off like that. When he didn’t feel like blowing his load the next second, Jacob rolled his hips up into the mouth and slid it up and down slowly. He let go of the base and moved his palm down to his heavy balls to massage them roughly, tugging them away from his body until it hurt pleasantly before rubbing his thumb in circles. When he buried his cock inside the  fleshlight , he smacked them lightly over and over again until he couldn’t stand it. 

Pulling his hand away from the stinging red skin, he moved up to his nipples and pinched them between two fingers. He wasn’t as sensitive on his right side from the scarring but he still gave it a decent pinch and rolled it under his fingertips as he thrusted up into the toy. 

Jacob was tired, though, overworked and sleep-deprived, and he knew he’d have to finish up soon before his body gave out. He gripped the toy firmly and picked up the pace, rapidly pushing it down over half his length so the tendrils could stimulate the head more. He could feel the end coming, his cock desperately spurting precum and slicking the toy even more. While he still had his senses, he stopped moving and messed with a couple buttons near the top of the small lid. 

It beeped happily and suddenly the tendrils started turning anti-clockwise as the  silicone tube was instructed to  rotate . The brushes spun around the head and Jacob almost forgot to breathe. He thrusted into the spin and quickly lost the energy to move , so he pressed the tiny little + sign twice. The tendrils picked up speed, each little stub stroking the dripping wet head.

He angled his cock slightly so the silicon would pass directly over the slit and as he turned up the speed even more, it felt like constant pressure running up and dipping into the slit. When he pushed his hips further up, they began to enter his cock, slipping inside for a brief flash before the next one poked in. Jacob groaned as he came, grinding up against the tendrils and spilling thick spurts inside the toy. He kept fucking it until it became too much and he had to slip it off, blindly shutting it down before tossing it beside him. 

Lazily he stroked his cock and felt it twitch. Moving his hand down to his balls, he squeezed and rolled them gently. He glanced over at the toy and saw his cum leaking out from between the lips and he pictured someone with dark hair and pink lips with cum staining their mouth. Jacob groaned, not ready for a second round. He dragged the covers up to his shoulders and flicked the light switch, turning the golden light into a deep, soft red. He needed to sleep.

\---

There was a gentle knock on the bedroom door that roused Rook from his light sleep. He blinked and saw that the sun was casting long shadows across the floor.

“Come in,” Rook called out, pushing himself up to sit back against the headboard. The stitches pulled and he gasped in pain just as the door opened.

“You shouldn’t move so much,” Earl said as he  rushed to the bedside and helped Rook settle, placing a pillow behind his back. 

“Thanks.”

Earl  grabbed the chair by the desk and placed it down beside Rook, not comfortable enough to sit on the bed like most of Rook’s visitors. His hand reached out to Rook’s chin, turning his head to inspect the bruises and cuts with a frown.

“They sure put you through Hell. How  d’you feel, son?”

“Tired. I can’t sleep much, I keep waking up and seeing things. I don’t remember what happened down there but little bits come back now and again through my nightmares.” 

Earl let his hand drop to Rook’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. “It’s all over now. You don’t ever have to think about those people again.”

“Are you sure? Seems like a lot of people hate me.” Rook fidgeted with the edge of the blanket, a lovely white wool that was handmade. Probably by a cultist and gifted to the Father. 

“People don’t like change. ” Earl leaned back and sighed. “ You weren’t here when Eden’s Gate first arrived. They were nice people, came door to door offering leaflets and hosting sermons in the fields. The Father came to the station once and brought homemade food, insisted we visit his church someday. Sure, some people didn’t like having another religious group around but all in all, the county liked them.”

“And then they pushed their agenda,” Rook finished. Earl nodded solemnly and took his hat off, placing it on his knees. 

“John started buying up all the land, The Father preached in town and we had to intervene, and Jacob became our most complained-about citizen. Mostly from Eli. At the heart of it, we trusted them and slowly we were proved wrong time and time again. Till it all blew up  just before the arrest warrant. Putting our trust and faith in them again is the hardest thing these people have ever done.”

“Do you regret it? Working with Joseph?”

Earl sighed again . He was way too old for this shit, past retirement age and still trying to distil the conflict in his hometown. 

“You remember when he was preaching with all that fire and I said we couldn’t survive without each other?”

Rook nodded, the memory of that night was patchy but he remembered the  burning  pyres and the crowd. 

“I lied. We didn’t need the cult’s help. We had the guns, the man power and the resources to survive on our own.  But not enough to  kill them. I didn’t want Joseph to think he’d won, because he would have spread his cult far and wide and taken over if given the chance. I shook his hand and made peace because I know he could beat us if he tried. If he got bored of playing nice. What we have now, our pooled resources, can’t be separated easily. If Joseph wants a war, he’ll have no electricity or farmers to grow the crops we give him .”

“He won’t start a war.”

Earl smiled  sadly . “I know he means a lot to you but the man wants power. He always has. Maybe you’re right and he’s turned over a new leaf, but Joseph is patient. He proved that in the years before.”

Earl grabbed  Rook’ s hand between both of his. “Listen, if you want to get away for a while ... maybe start staying with your people .  You're always welcome at the Den.”

Rook nodded but he wasn’t agreeing to anything. The ranch was his home. “Thanks.”

“I should let you get some rest. I’m glad you’re alright, son.” He squeezed Rook’s hand and patted the top, his face pulling in a way that seemed like he was trying to stay collected. “I never got a real chance to say this but you, Staci, and Joey- You're the closest thing I have to a family. I don’t want to lose any of you.”

Rook smiled faintly. “You’re my family, too.”

Earl patted his hand again and stood, leaving the room without another word. He would likely break down  if he stayed any longer  and never let his kids out of his sight again. Rook stared at the door and tried to keep it together as well. He hadn’t realised how much he meant to the Sheriff, and it dawned on him that he hadn’t thought about his real family in a long time. Not since his dad threw him into the academy and refused to speak until he’d made something decent out of his life , after the incident with his sergeant . That had been  six years ago. His mother was long dead along with what would’ve been Rook’s brother or sister, except she never reached the end of her term. 

So he was more than happy with Earl’s acceptance and silent adoption of his Deputies.  Even if Rook’s real father would rather ignore his mistake of a son, at least Earl was still willing to speak to him.

\---

Nick stood awkwardly in the doorway of John’s room and stared at the cult flag above his bed. He closed the door behind him and encouraged John to move into the lavish en-suite. Just because Kim and Joey had teamed up and voted him as John’s carer didn’t mean he had a single fucking clue on what to do. If anything, he was making things weirder by being there. He was tempted to just leave John to himself and call it quits, maybe get Kim to do it herself since she cared so much. 

Except  he didn’t feel comfortable leaving her and John together. Alone. Behind closed doors where the intent was clearly to help him clean up. Nick knew deep down he couldn’t leave John on his own, not after his speech and the way he seemed ready to jump. It couldn’t all be to do with what those men did, surely? 

The scarring on Nick’s chest ached in the cold some days and when it had been healing, he’d wanted nothing more than the pain to end. But he wasn’t about to throw himself off a cliff. 

“Alright, come on, let’s get this over with,” Nick said, pushing the bathroom door almost shut but leaving a gap. 

“You don’t have to- I'm fine,” John insisted as if Nick was blind to the redness of his eyes and the sadness in them. Like he couldn’t hear the shake in his voice. 

“No, you’re not.” Nick turned the tap and let water fill the tub and went to John, crossing the space between them so he could help remove his shirt. He was careful with the damaged wrist and threw the shirt on the floor, ignoring John’s mumbled protest. 

There were cuts down his chest, from his throat to his belt, that had dried and left long, angry red lines. John insisted  on  do ing the rest but Nick could see him struggling with his fancy belt, so without a word he unbuckled it and pulled the leather out swiftly and dumping it on the floor too. John toed off his shoes and socks, and Nick left him to remove the rest. 

The water was hot already so he turned the tap off. The tub was halfway filled so he poured a generous amount of soap into it and bubbled it up with his hand, shaking off the suds. He glanced at John and watched him try to climb in. The Baptist was shaking and Nick barely had the reflex to place a hand against his ribs and hold him steady the rest of the way in. John sat carefully on his knees, wincing as the hot water stung the cuts. 

“You don’t have to stay,” John insisted again, covering himself with both hands  despite the bubbles  and keeping his eyes fixed on the water and not on Nick. 

“I don’t trust you to be left alone right now.”

“I’m not going to drown myself in a bathtub.”

Nick sighed and took off his cap, rolling up  the sleeves of his flannel . “Can’t take the risk.”

He looked at the various bottles on the metal shelves beneath the shower head and grabbed the nearest one that was almost empty. There was no sponge or cloth, though, and the thought of touching John’s bare skin made him hesitant. He could argue that it might make the man uncomfortable but in reality, Nick just wanted nothing to do with him. In the end, he uncapped the bottle and poured some into his palm to  create  sud s before  scooping water and pouring  it  on to John’s back. 

John tensed immediately and Nick tried to ignore it as he moved his soapy hand over raised scars from his past. He focused on the black artwork rather than the criss-crossing lines that adorned his entire back. Birds, religious texts,  bones , all done with steady lines and intricate shading. 

His fingers brushed the waterline but he didn’t go further down. He went back up to John’s shoulders and took one arm, rubbing soap underneath and going as far as his elbow to avoid the injury. He did the other arm and moved to face John better to reach his chest. Instead of soap, he just trickled water over the cuts. 

John stayed silent but his body was immobile and tense as a rock. Nick pulled back after he’d cleaned the soap off, hoping that this would all end quickly. He tried to pretend he was taking care of someone else, like Rook maybe. Or even his daughter- but the thought of her in such a state made his mind recoil sickly. 

He gave John a once over, ready to call it a day, before he noticed some of John’s hair was clumped together. He took the stuck strands between his fingers and the stiffness crumbled into red flakes. 

“Did you wash your hair earlier?”

“No. Just brushed it.” 

Nick sighed and reached up to the shower head, disconnecting it from its hold. He messed with the tap and the water came  out with steady pressure. 

“Bring your head back.” 

John didn’t argue for once, arching his back and tipping his head so he could look at the ceiling as Nick brought the water to his hair. He shivered as the warmth reached his scalp and Nick soaked it before grabbing the shampoo and tipping it into his palm. Lathering it went from a quick rush job to actually making sure he covered it all. Maybe it had something to do with John’s soft, happy exhale and the way he inched closer to relaxation. If Nick so happened to do the same finger tricks he used on Kim when they bathed together, that was just because it cleaned thoroughly.  It had nothing to do with the pity worming its way into Nick’s heart despite his resistance to feel anything but anger towards the Baptist.

He grabbed the showerhead again and washed out the shampoo, noting how the once clear water was grey and starting to turn muddy red. By the time he was really done, John almost looked relaxed. Not completely, he was still hunched over as Nick draped a towel over his shoulders to keep him warm. 

“There. All done.”

John grabbed the corners of the towel and clung to it, wrapping it tight around him. He pushed himself to his feet, using Nick’s shoulder as leverage. When he was steady on the shaggy carpet, Nick passed him another towel to wrap around his waist as he helped dry the Baptist. With only one hand, it was difficult. 

When all was done and dried, Nick helped him into his room and encouraged him into a pair of sweatpants that had been buried under formal clothes, and a large t-shirt. Maybe it had been John’s size once but now it hung from his bones. He found a hoodie as well and realised there was hope for John after all if he could understand comfort. Once it was slipped on and the discarded sling was put back on to elevate his wrist, John looked normal and defenceless. Nothing like the figure he cut in his fancy clothes and gelled-back hair. 

“Do you want to stay up here?”

John shrugged unhelpfully. 

“Okay, how about we go outside for a bit? The sun’s still up.”

John shrugged again. Nick was losing his precious patience. 

“Okay. How about we go for a fly-over? Got enough fuel in the tank for a short ride.”

John finally perked up. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not? I’ll fly, of course. I don’t trust a man with only one functioning hand. Come on, get your ass up and you can help me get your plane on the runway.” 

\---

Staci had time to kill while he patiently waited for Rook’s visitors to finish up. Joey was busy with Kim and the baby, and Jacob had disappeared, so Staci wandered around the ranch completely bored. He didn’t want to sleep like some people, he was buzzing with energy from their rescue.

Everybody had grouped up and left no space for him, so he went outside to breathe in the fresh air. He stood on the front steps just basking in the sunlight when he heard laughter close to the hangar. He went towards the sound and saw picnic tables laid out in the space between the hangar and the garden.  Peggie s and Resistance members were sat down together, sharing beers and food between them as they enjoyed the weather. Staci never thought he’d see this with his own eyes, Rook’s plan working down to the morale of both sides.

One of the men stood up, dressed in the Chosen’s  new  black uniform but stripped down to black cargos and a tight-fitting tee. He’d pulled down the half mask around his neck and Staci recognised Alex as he turned and met his gaze. 

Alex stepped away from the tables, patting some local on the back as he walked away towards Staci. He smiled shyly and waited until there was hardly any distance between them before saying hello. 

“What are you guys doing?” Staci asked, settling one shoulder against the stone wall as Alex leaned back too. 

“Just chatting, they came over with beers and asked if they could join us. It’s been a long few days for all of us.” 

“Yeah, you’re right but it’s over now. Wait, I thought you guys weren’t allowed to drink? ” 

“True...” Alex grinned. “ But w e’re celebrating and the Heralds aren’t as strict anymore. It’s nice.” Alex’s smile got more confident. “You were good out there.”

Staci sighed through his nose. “Sure, and everyone knew I wasn’t part of the team.”

“Well... Yeah. Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want Jacob to know I gave you the uniform. But you did good coming with us.”

“It felt good. Being out there, being useful again. Most of the time, I’m just living day to day- I used to help out with supplies and even with police stuff but now I feel like I’m off the team. Sorry, I’m venting.”

Alex waved nonchalantly. “It’s fine. I get that. When the bombs fell, we were sort of all together so we hide in the same bunker for months. Jacob was there too, he’d been hiding there before us, and we  kinda just took care of each other. When we came out, we didn’t really know what to do. Jacob was still recovering and we had no orders. I won’t lie, I felt so lost the day I came out. The whole world just looked wrong, I guess. Some people went out for supplies and came back days later, but I just went back in and kept  Jacob company.”

“What made you finally leave?”

“Jacob said I was weak. Everybody else was gathering food and water, and I just wanted to stay in my room and never come out. I thought they’d share what they found but no one fed me, so I had to find my own food. Jacob must’ve taken pity or something  ‘cause he brought me some food and shoved a rifle in my hands after I’d eaten and told me to be strong. I went  back  out the next day.”

Alex looked over at his brothers and smiled fondly. He turned back to Staci and knocked his elbow into  Staci’s chest with a soft laugh. 

“Come on, let’s talk about something less depressing.  Wanna join us? We’ve got beer. It’s not very cold but these days, you just  gotta accept that.”

“I’m okay, I’ll pass. Hey, I’ve got your book at home. Just in case you were worried about it.”

“Oh, awesome. Thank you for looking after it. I don’t know if I’m allowed to have it, you know, since it’s not something I’d call Christian-approved fiction so I try to keep it a secret . Could I get it back soon?”

Staci nodded and watched some more people join the tables as the laughter became louder and the two sides were enjoying each other’s company. 

“I’m going back later, after I check in on Rook.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot nervously as he looked back at Alex. “You can come with me to pick it up. It’s not too far away and the restoration finally reached where I live so there’s electricity.”

Alex chuckled softly. “I’d like to but I’m not sure Jacob would allow me to leave.” 

“Just do it, man. He doesn’t own you or anyone else.” Even as Staci said it, it felt like he was breaking a rule.  A quiet d isobedience. Alex looked a little distraught and shook his head.

“He’s still in charge, Stace. All of this, it’s because of him.”

“Thought Joseph was the leader.”

Alex pulled a face and turned away from the group as if he feared someone could read his lips. “He is the head of the Project but these days it’s Jacob who leads the supply runs, the soldiers, everything. The Father is more of a people person and Jacob’s doing the rest out of sight.”

It made sense to Staci and he could understand why Alex seemed so nervous to admit it. Joseph was the face of the Project, after all, and talking like that was probably blasphemy to the cult. 

“I’ll protect you,” Staci said after a moment. He glanced over at the group before sneakily grabbing Alex’s hand. “Jacob won’t hurt you, I promise. You don’t have to stay long, just a few hours. Come on, live a little.”

“I’m trying to,” Alex argued but he didn’t pull his hand away. “I owe everything to Jacob, I don’t want him to think I’m not loyal.”

“You can be as loyal as you want and still come with me. Just think about it, okay? I’m going to check on Rook and I’ll come find you afterwards.”

“And if I don’t want to go?” Alex expected Staci to drop his hand or laugh, but the Deputy did neither. He came forward and embraced Alex in a warm hug. 

“Then I’ll bring your book with me next time I visit.”

He pulled away and Alex felt reluctant to watch Staci leave. He’d seen the man when Jacob had dragged him to the cages and he’d stood watch during the first trial. Seeing Staci so confident and willing to defy Jacob gave him hope. But it made him fearful too because he didn’t want to become so self-absorbed and risk  Jacob‘ s wrath, even for a chance to be rebellious for one night. 

\---

Affirmation was a stunning machine, down to her clever engineering and slick aerodynamic design that gave her advantage over other planes. She was faster, smaller, built like a bullet and packed with such power it had taken John a long time to learn how to handle her. It was probably stupid to buy such a plane as his first, like a Lamborghini for a teenager who’d just passed their driving test. Still, he loved her beyond anything else he owned. 

He’d never sell her or give her away, so seeing Nick climb into the cockpit and reverse her onto the runway made a vein in his head throb. All he wanted to do was replace him and fly her above the mountains. However his arm  was  protest ing in pain.

The sun was going to set soon so he wouldn’t get much chance to admire the green trees from above. There were landing lights on the runway, though, and Nick knew how to fly in the dark. When the plane was in position, John climbed into the seat behind Nick and shoved the headset over his ears. 

“How’re you doing back there?” Nick asked, cheerfully loud over the rumble of the rotors. 

“All good. I swear to God, Nick, you better not damage my plane.”

“I won’t. Already flew her yesterday, I know how to handle this beauty. Alright, I’m  gonna start her off.”

John said nothing as Nick accelerated down the dusty runway. He felt the change in pressure as the wheels came off the ground and he sighed peacefully as the plane headed up and up until settling straight. He glanced out to his right and saw the ranch shrinking in the distance and the last of the sun’s rays dispersing over the mountain peaks. 

“I miss being up here,” John said after a few minutes of gazing down at the Valley. 

“Nothing quite like it, is there?”

John had to agree. “It’s the freedom I love.  You could keep going straight and never come back.  It’s tempting.”

“Yes, it is. We don’t have that much fuel but we could reach Wyoming if we really wanted. Or Idaho. Or head up all the way north to Canada.”

“I wonder what it’s like outside Hope right now. If the world is normal or if we’re the only ones who’ve restored their land enough to survive.”

The sun finally disappeared behind the last few peaks and John peered into the twilight, at the snowy mountains that Nick was flying close to. Just beyond them was another county, separated by rocks and forests, but it was another  world altogether. 

“We should head back,  gotta keep enough in the tank for emergencies,” Nick called out into the mic, distracting John from the view and his own selfish thoughts of never returning and of seeking something new. He loved his family and he’d want nothing more than to take them with him if he ever decided to leave. It was just that he liked exploring places and he’d stayed long enough in Hope County and too many people wanted his family dead. 

The plane turned and John caught sight of lights in the distance, far beyond the mountains that framed their county. Little dots clustered together and sprawling across the black land. 

“Hey, Nick, do you see that?”

“Oh shit, yeah. Huh. Guess we know now we’re not alone. That’s close by, few hours to drive there. I’ll mention it when we get back to the ranch, might be worth looking into.”

When the wheels touched the ground again, the landing was a lot smoother than Nick’s last attempt. He slowed the plane and brought her into the hangar and cut off the engine. He pulled off the headset and turned back in his seat to look at John.

“See, I told you she’d be fine. Perfect landing, too.”

“Yeah, yeah.” John was trying to hide his smile so he flipped Nick off before climbing out and down from Affirmation’s wing. As Nick got out, he said, “Thanks for today. You know, taking care of me instead of just... Thanks.”

“Yeah, well, it’s what Kim wanted so-”

“You’re very lucky to have her, you know. She’s an amazing woman.”

Nick smiled and nodded, adjusting his cap. “Damn right, she is. All mine too.” He fixed John with a look.

“Yes, all yours.” John held his hands up defensively. “What I said, back before the bombs, about her and I- it was all a lie.”

“Pfft. You think I don’t know that? Next thing you’re going to tell me is that Carmina is mine after all. Look, you and me have our problems but I appreciate the apology.”

“It would be nice-” John quickly shut his mouth and Nick raised a brow. “ Never mind .”

“No, what? Go on.” 

“I’ve kept your house safe and clean since I got here, and your plane is still there. I just... It would be nice if you came to live next door again.” John looked like every word was wounding him and Nick stood there, his grin getting bigger every moment.

“ Why’s that?”

John grunted in annoyance. “ _ Because  _ I miss having someone I can talk to about planes, and I... for fuck’s sake- I miss you both. I liked it when Kim used to invite me for dinner and you and I just worked on Carmina when there was nothing else to do. It was simple and fun and distracting. And your plane is still a piece of junk and I know I can fix that damn wing. I have the tools and you never  _ listened  _ to my advice. And I’m ranting now.”

Nick was holding back his laughter so much his face was bright red under the fluorescent lights. John finished his rant and crossed his arms over his hoodie. He wasn’t about to admit how much more comfortable he was in sweatpants than his stylish jeans.

“You know what, I’ll talk to Kim about it. I’m sick and tired of bear traps and our shitty cabin. I miss my house and my plane. I might just move back in, depending on what she says. Don’t know about you coming around to dinner, last I checked you never invited us over.”

John wasn’t ready for Nick to practically say yes so he stammered a bit. “You... You actually- In my defence, I can’t cook for shit. I was just trying to save you from my terrible food. I have alcohol, though.”

Nick finally laughed and it was loud and joyful. The first time John had heard it since he started moving the Project along and tr ied to buy Nick’s business, only to be refused and no longer invited to dinner. Nick slapped a hand down on John’s shoulder.

“Ah, shit,  look at us. Here I thought we’d be sworn enemies for life and you’re making me laugh instead.” Nick sighed heavily and patted John. “Don’t think I forgive  you, you still skinned me and made our life Hell.”

“I am sorry about that,” John admitted in a soft voice. Nick stopped chuckling and looked him dead serious in the eyes.

“You mean that?”

“I was very motivated to cleanse people. I’d like to think I’ve changed for the better. In the end, none of it really mattered. Sinners still survived.”

“You think I’m a sinner?” 

“I think you’re a good, honest man and I wasn’t fair to you or Kim.” John took a deep breath, it felt good to take it off his chest. He wasn’t ready for the bear hug that made his bones creak. 

“Well, you’re on the right path, John. Shit, you’re  gonna make me cry here.” Nick pulled away and smiled. “Fuck it, you’re being so goddamn honest to me, it’s only fair I do the same. I miss the old you, back when you first came here and you just helped me out in the hangar. I don’t forgive you but I’d like it if we could go back to being friends again. I know it was years ago but still.” 

John tried to keep his face blank as Nick went in for another hug, much kinder than earlier, and wiped a couple tears on his sleeve before Nick could notice. Except he did and stayed quiet about it.

“I’d really like that, too.” 

“Pilot bros. Or something.” Nick laughed and together they walked out of the hangar, shutting off all the lights. 

Kim was waiting just outside, keeping warm by rubbing her arms. When she saw them, she perked up and  smiled.

“I was beginning to wonder if you both planned on staying the night in there together. What’s with all the giggling?” She came right to  Nick’s side and let him hug and kiss her.

“John and I were just chatting. He said he’d like us to move back into our home, missed us a lot apparently.”

John glared at him and Kim raised a brow. “Really?”

“I was thinking we could get back to the old days,” Nick said, wrapping one arm around her small shoulders as they walked back to the ranch. “Dinner at our place, fixing the plane. The good times we had before shit went down.”

“Ah yes, the days where you’d both lock yourselves in the hangar with a couple cases of beer and I might sometimes see either one of you get more from the house.”

Nick made a protesting sound that caught in his throat. “It wasn’t like that. Not always.”

“No, you’re right. Some times I wouldn’t see you both till the next day grovelling at my table for breakfast.” She didn’t sound annoyed or angry and she sent a smile to John, who couldn’t disagree with her observations. “I think I could survive that again. Plus it will be summer soon.”

Nick held the front door open for her, letting John squeeze past as well. They were staying the night, hoping to see Rook one last time before heading to the cabin again. Hopefully to pack their shit.

“Why does that matter?” He asked, closing the door behind him. Kim turned back to them.

“Because it will be very hot and no man in his right mind works with a shirt on when it’s hot.” She looked at both of them and winked at her husband, before going to her friends gathered on the couch. 

John and Nick exchanged a look and John was the first to chuckle. “She’s not wrong.”

“She never is,” Nick agreed, shaking his head. “Come on, come say hello to Carmina. You both will see each other a lot, I think.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jacob finally got some smut at last! And something very important has been hinted at <3
> 
> Let me know what you thought :) I'd love to know your theories on how this story will end considering the final chapter is approaching... 60 will be the epilogue!


	47. The Chosen and the Peach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is purely smut!

Staci came down stairs just as the sun was setting, a relieved smile on his face as he gathered his jacket and car keys. He’d abandoned the Chosen uniform a while ago and made good use of the Seeds’ hot water. Most of Rook’s friends had seen him before he did so the hall was nearly empty except for the Ryes and the Seeds. 

He walked over to Joseph and cleared his throat. The preacher looked up from where he was curled on the couch, listening to the Ryes and John. 

“Could I talk to you for a moment?” Staci asked, feeling a little awkward under Joseph’s unblinking stare. How Rook managed to hold his stare he’d never understand. 

“Of course.” Joseph turned to his guests. “I’ll be right back.” He unfolded his legs and followed Staci to the hallway, closing the door behind him to give themselves more privacy.

“I just wanted to say I’m really glad we worked together. I mean, Rook is my best friend and I’m so glad he’s okay.” Staci paused, unsure of what he was trying to say. “I guess, what I mean is that we make a good team. You know, the cu-  _ Project  _ and the police.”

“I am as well. I didn’t expect this level of help. Jacob spoke highly of you earlier.” Joseph smiled and reached out to grab Staci’s shoulder. “I can’t begin to understand what lies between you and Jacob but I’ll forever be grateful to you and Deputy Hudson for finding  our family .”

Staci nodded but kept a tight smile. “There’s a lot going on between us. I should- It's getting late, I need to get home.” 

Joseph pulled his hand away. “Of course, I won’t keep you. Thank you, again.” 

He went back through the door and left Staci in the corridor. The Deputy decided to seek out Alex, hoping he’d be easily convinced. They weren’t trying to break Jacob’s rules or to disobey in some form, Staci knew the world no longer belonged to the eldest Seed. If he wanted to go home with a Chosen, when there were no duties or tasks of major importance, he could do so. It didn’t work like a real army, needing discharge or leave. No, Alex was free to do what he wanted and Staci was going to show him that. 

Alex was sat at the picnic table under fairy lights draped across the garden. He’d laid out some branches and was cutting them down into smooth sticks for his arrows. A bag of feathers and his bow were left just within reach, and he’d thrown on a black jacket to ward off the evening chill. Eden’s cross was painted on his back in white. To Staci it looked like a giant target, much like the red on the Chosen’s old uniforms. 

Staci walked over and sat opposite, minding his elbows as he rested them on the table. He watched Alex work, the way he held the pocket knife and skimmed it across the branch to strip the bark. It was getting harder to see as the sun set behind the mountains, casting purple and orange streaks across the sky.  The fairy lights made the garden look enchanting, he loved it.

“I’ll be done soon,” Alex reassured him, barely looking up as he added fletching to the arrow.

Staci shrugged. “It’s alright. Take your time, I’m not in a rush.”

“How was your friend?” 

“He’s doing better than I thought, he’s a tough guy. They, uh, used the song on him a lot. More than what we heard on the radio. Makes me wonder how much these people knew about Jacob’s tactics.”

Alex glanced up and met Staci’s gaze. “And how are you doing?”

Staci smiled and waved a hand dismissively. “I’m fine, good, really. Did you have a moment to think about my idea?”

“I did. Stace, I like you. I won’t lie about that, you’re the only sinner I’ve met who I get along with so easily. Usually they just look at me like I’m another target. You don’t, you just see me as a person. I mean, you saved my ass from Jacob the other day and if you hadn’t stuck up for me- I like you  _ but  _ I don’t want to risk anything with Jacob. I know he won’t hurt you but me... ” Alex broke the eye contact, looking down at his work and hunching over protectively. 

“You’re not leaving with me, are you?” Staci was disappointed, he had to admit it. He wasn’t sure what would even happen between them at his apartment, hadn’t even considered how his new neighbours would react to a  Peggie visiting. 

“I want to.” Alex glanced up for a brief second. “I just...”

“You’re scared to.”

“Yeah. I am. Jacob needs me  here, the Chosen need me here. I can’t just  come and go  as I wish. It doesn’t work that way. I’ll, uhm, get my book back some other time.”

Staci looked around them, a quick check to see if anybody was nearby. The nearest person was busy tending to the vegetables with their back turned, gathering what was ready to eat for dinner. He grabbed Alex’s free hand,  convincing  the younger man to look up. 

“It’s okay, I won’t force you. You do what feels right, Alex.” Staci smiled weakly, rubbing his thumb across sharp knuckles. Alex sat in disbelief before he smiled back shyly and let out a soft chuckle.

“Thanks. Maybe some other time.”

“Yeah, I should get going-” Staci spoke at the same time as Alex said, “-Did you want to go for a walk? Oh, never mind.”

Staci frowned. “Walk?”

“Yeah, I mean, I need to complete a perimeter check but nothing says I can’t have company. But if  you need to head home...”

Staci shook his head immediately. “No, it doesn’t  matter when I go home. I live alone, no one’s waiting for me.”

Something changed in Alex’s eyes when he heard that, but it was replaced by the man’s bubbly happiness a second later and a huge smile. “Good, let me just clean up and we can go.”

Ten minutes later, Staci was walking along the property hand in hand with Alex. They were alone in the gathering darkness but Alex had a torch clipped to his jacket if he needed it. Still, Jacob had trained the Chosen to see better than the average human in the dark. They hunted for weeks at night to fortify their senses. 

The ranch was lit up with golden lights but the path took them down the runway, to the main road, along the fields and  back  up the driveway. They were halfway down the strip, clinging to the edges of the trees. Alex was the only one with a weapon and Staci felt strangely safe with him. He hadn’t been the one to reach out and take his hand, though.  Alex had. 

“It’s nice out here. I get why John bought the place. Can’t go wrong with a view like that,” Staci commented. 

“You’re right. I grew up in a city but I always wanted to come live out in the sticks some day, used to visit my uncles in Oregon every summer.” Alex had a faraway look in his eyes. “Did you grow up here in Hope County?”

Staci nodded. “Yep, I did. Born and raised, went to high school here and moved to Helena for college. Stayed there as long as I needed to before I could join the force. I still remember the day I graduated from college, it was this Catholic private place- real strict. The guys in my dorm had this huge party off campus, it was insane. Booze, drugs, the whole nine yards. Most of us couldn’t show up the next day to retrieve our diplomas. The teachers were  so  pissed at us.” Staci chuckled at the memory, how he and several guys came to the principal’s office after the ceremony, hungover and totally wasted. 

“Sounds like you had fun.”

“Yeah, I did. It was worth the  disappointed  look on my parents’ faces. What about you? Got any good stories from- How old are you, anyways?”

Alex blinked and then laughed. “Twenty-five. I, uh, didn’t go to college. Never really bothered to study or pay attention, I slacked so much in high school I was held back a  couple  year s .” 

Staci whistled low. “Damn, really?”

“It’s not something I’m proud of  anymore. I mean, I wasn’t sneaking out and snorting coke or banging sophomores or anything, I just  kinda wandered around the school. Mostly chilled where no one would catch me.” 

“What did your parents say?” 

Alex shrugged. “Not much, they were always working. I usually had the house to myself, that’s why I loved going to my uncles. I actually got to talk to my family then. They taught me all sorts of stuff, helped a lot when it came to impressing Jacob. I already knew how to survive in the wild.”

“Why did you join Jacob anyways?” 

They were already at the bottom of the runway, where it faded into woods. There was a tiny footpath leading down to the road. Staci stayed close and held his hand tight, unable to see as easily as when they left the ranch.

“I knew I would be more use in the Whitetails. I didn’t want to be blissed all the time, and John... He’s a Herald and all but I don’t think I’d survive very long around someone so volatile. The Father’s followers are handpicked and he never chose me, so it felt right going to Jacob.” Alex paused and stopped halfway down the slope and turned to Staci with a sad expression . “I didn’t think it would end like this, with all the blood and chaos.”

“None of us expected it,” Staci replied with a sympathetic smile. “We’ve all done shit we’re not proud of. What matters is if you change for the better.”

Alex smiled back but it seemed weak and forced. “I’d like to think I’ve changed but it’s just because Jacob’s pointed us in another direction than before.”

“You’re out here with me and I haven’t  been shot by  an arrow, I’d say it’s an improvement. Maybe tone down on the sinner stuff.” 

“I can try.” 

Alex fell silent and glanced around, his eyes searching for something Staci couldn’t see in the dark woods. He saw where the  oaks and evergreens and birches  sprouted but not much beyond that, enough to avoid walking into them at least. 

“What’s up?”

“Just checking if we’re alone,” Alex answered in a quiet voice. He stopped looking and settled back on Staci. “We are. That’s good.”

Alex moved forward and closed the gap between himself and Staci, watching the Deputy for a moment before pressing his lips against Staci’s. He pushed gently, moving his lips softly and letting a tiny moan out as Staci kissed him back. Alex found himself been pushed back against a tree, flattened to it as Staci leaned into him. When they pulled apart, both men were breathless. Staci chuckled quietly, bringing one hand up to cup Alex’s stubbled jaw and drag him into another kiss. This time less tentative and more demanding.

Alex’s hands went to Staci’s chest, trailing down to his belt as he unbuckled it. Staci let him, moving one hand to mirror the Chosen. Alex was quicker, diving his hand down beneath the fabric of his boxers and stroking the hardening length. 

“I’ve never had sex in the woods before,” Staci admitted, kissing the corner of Alex’s parted mouth and moving down his cheek to his neck. He nibbled at the warm  tanned skin, peppering it with light pecks as he groaned at the hand jerking him off. He felt the chill air greet his cock and he glanced down, the sight of Alex holding him only making his cock twitch. 

“I have, it’s fun.” He moaned sweetly, a desperate high - pitched sound, when Staci finally pulled his cock out as well and bit his neck hard enough to leave a bruise just beneath his collar . “That’s  so  good.”

“I thought the cult had a no sex rule.” Staci only punctuated that by running his palm down the length and massaging his balls.

Alex laughed. “Yes but what do you think happens when you leave horny men in the woods without any Heralds?” Alex paused to kiss Staci, sucking on his lower lip. “I lost count of how many dicks I had in me. I was getting spit-roasted  almost  every night we were out there. Perks of being a twink, I guess. ”

“Fuck, that’s so hot.” Staci pulled back the foreskin, fascinated by it since he had none, and teased the damp slit. “Bet you were just gaping afterwards, unable to walk.”

Alex nodded, gasping at the touch. He tried to do the same, rubbing his thumb over Staci’s cock head as he swept precum across it. “Would it turn you on knowing they didn’t use condoms?” Staci’s shudder and twitching cock made him smile sadistically. “You wouldn’t believe how much was spilling out of me.”

“Fuck, I need to see that. Next time you go on your trips, I’m coming with.”

“I hope not just to watch.” Alex met his eyes. “We can’t do that right now, I don’t have anything on me, but if you’re patient-”

“I’ll wait as long as you need but I’m going to make you cum tonight. That’s for certain.”

Alex spread his legs further. “Yes please.” 

He pushed at Staci’s chest and forced him back, making the Deputy look at his whole body slumped back against the tree. A long line of black military gear, interrupted by his hard cock jutting proudly from his cargo trousers. Staci wanted to reach out and take it but Alex stopped him with a couple fingers to his chest , stroking himself slowly. Staci’s mouth watered and he reined in his need so he could watch. 

“Like what you see?” Alex asked, looking entirely relaxed and calm as his fist dragged down his cock and back up circling the head.

“You have no idea,” Staci answered honestly. His own cock twitched and missed the heat and friction from Alex’s palm.

“So tell me.”

Staci groaned deep in his throat and took a step forward, his cock brushing Alex’s knuckles as his hand moved up. “You have the sexiest cock I’ve seen in a long time, I just want to worship it. Suck you off and watch you come apart, lick up all your cum and make you thank me for it.” 

Staci reached out to grab Alex’s hand, prying it off his cock and placing it on Staci’s length. The Chosen shuddered and moaned softly, bucking into the air for contact. Staci ran his fingertip along the underside and gathered the precum. He brought it to his lips and licked it off, moaning at the taste just to make Alex squirm.

“And then I’m going to force you on your knees and make good use of your pretty mouth. Maybe give you a nice makeover so you can show all your friends back at the ranch.”

Alex’s eyes widened and he let out a whimper, his grip on Staci tightening by accident. Before he could come up with a reply, Staci went down on his knees and licked a broad stripe up his cock and took the head into his warm and wet mouth. He held the base and worked his tongue over the head, licking up the slit and pulling back to kiss it. Alex’s legs buckled slightly but he managed to hold himself upright, relying on the tree more than his own body. His hands grabbed Staci’s hair and encouraged the Deputy to move.

Staci took as much as he could manage, stroking what he couldn’t fit with his hand and using his tongue to make Alex moan and shake. He pulled off a few minutes later, his jaw starting to cramp.

“When was the last time someone gave you a blowjob?” He asked, licking Alex’s cock as it threatened to drip onto the forest floor.

“I-  Uhh , maybe last month?” Alex’s grip tightened as Staci rewarded his answer with a long suck, pulling off with a pop.

“One of your Chosen buddies?”

“Not really.” Alex looked somewhat embarrassed as Staci glanced up. “ Uhh , I did something good and Jacob felt the need to reward me.”

Staci pulled off and watched as Alex pushed his cock against Staci’s plush lips. He kissed it. “Jacob blew you? Seriously?”

“Y-Yeah, he took me into his office after my rounds and sat me on his desk while he finished his paperwork. Kept stroking me as he wrote. Not  gonna lie, I al most came all over his papers a couple times. Then he started sucking me off once he finished.” Alex kept moaning as he spoke, fuelled by Staci’s tongue and hand. He was very close. 

“He really likes you, doesn’t he?” Staci felt a little jealous, some part of him missed the Herald’s attention.

“I guess. I mean, it wasn’t just for my sake. He fucked me over his desk right after, made me clean up the wood with my tongue when I came a second-  _ Fuck _ , Stace, I’m really close.” Staci took what he could into his mouth, sealed his lips and bobbed his head quickly, working his tongue along the vein. “Oh, fuck, Stace, you’re  gonna make me cum.”

Staci glanced up in time to see Alex’s eyes flutter shut and his lips part, before he felt the hot spurts of cum on his tongue. He pulled back and let Alex shoot on his tongue, sticking it out so Alex could watch the mess. It came out in thin stripes but Staci felt like it was endless. He stroked the cock as it twitched, pumping it out of him before Alex collapsed back against the tree and let out a deep, satisfied sigh.

“Oh fuck, that was good. I needed that.” Alex opened his eyes to see what he’d made and grinned, stroking Staci’s cheek. He suddenly squatted down and kissed the Deputy, licking across his tongue to taste his release. 

“Never had anyone clean me up like that before,” Staci said between kisses. He didn’t like the taste too much but Alex certainly did. 

“Tastes good. Thanks for that.”

“Thanks for the image of Jacob fucking you on his desk, considering his bed is right next to it.” 

Alex chuckled and reached down to stroke Staci’s neglected but still hard cock. Staci groaned and spread his knees wider.

“You’re welcome. Here, my turn.” He convinced Staci to stand and take his old place against the tree, stroking his cock and letting it rest on his face. He grinned, licking what he could reach. 

“Are you going to sit there all night with my dick on your face?” Staci grabbed his cock and slapped Alex’s cheek with it, rubbing the tip over his lips. “It’s a good look.”

“ Shuddup .” Alex took the offered head and sucked it, taking it all until his nose touched Staci’s skin. He kept eye contact and Staci knew without the dick, he’d be grinning. As it was, his mouth was stretched  wide  and preoccupied with pleasuring Staci.

“You look  real good down there.” Staci rolled his hips forward, choking Alex and pulling off before he gagged too much. Tears glistened in the Chosen’s eyes as his hands came to Staci’s hips , moving them closer so he gagged again. 

Staci got the message. He held the back of Alex’s head, running his fingers over the prickle of his buzzed hair, and kept him still as he started fucking the man’s open mouth. He kept his thrusts gentle, letting Alex breathe and relax, but it was more than enough to quickly bring him to the edge. Alex hummed around him, his eyes gazing up at Staci. 

Something about having the younger man keening and moaning, eager to please, pushed Staci over the edge. Maybe that’s what Jacob used to feel when they slept together, complete control over the person pleasuring him. Staci groaned and shoved Alex further down on his cock, choking him as he came deep in his throat. Alex struggled for a moment before Staci let him take a shuddering breath. Once he’d regained his senses, Alex grinned and opened his mouth to show Staci all the cum he had yet to swallow. 

Staci stroked a thumb across his tongue and hummed approvingly. “That’s a sight I’m committing to memory. You okay? I didn’t  gag you too much, did I?”

Alex shook his head and swallowed . “I’m fine, damn I like your style.” He stood and kissed Staci. “Come on, let’s finish this walk. We’ve been gone a while.”

Staci grabbed his hand again once they’d adjusted their clothes, following the road back up to the driveway. When they reached the ranch, Alex reported in and had to join his teammates for the night. 

Staci watched him go for a moment before heading to his car and heading home, feeling like he’d started something he wasn’t sure he was ready for.

He liked Alex, a lot. Hopefully he was doing the right thing.


	48. Forgiveness has a nice ring to it

It always surprised Earl how smoothly the ranch worked, how well maintained the house and its supplies were. When he walked into the kitchen close to dinner time, having spent a moment or two with the Ryes and watching them leave with his Deputies, a smile grew on his face at the scent of homemade food. The Den ate out of cans most of the time, the crops were still growing in the fields and the few vegetables gobbled up in a blink. 

Joseph was cooking alone, the whole kitchen to himself with only the sound of his knife hitting the wooden chopping board. The preacher noticed Earl.

“It will be a while before we can eat,” he said, scraping vegetables into a bowl. 

“Anything I can do to help? I  ain’t the world greatest chef but I can set the table at least.” 

Joseph watched him for a moment before nodding. He gestured at the cupboards lining the walls. “The plates are in there.”

Earl set to work, grabbing  floral plates and  bamboo  placemats and setting them down carefully. Joseph continued to chop up food, glancing up  every once in a while  as Earl stepped behind him to reach for the cupboards. 

“I didn’t think we’d make good allies,” Earl said, out of the blue, as he arranged the table. “I’m glad to have been proved wrong.”

“So am I. We can put this nasty business behind us and move on to a better future.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Earl came back to the island. “We’ll take care of the prisoners.”

Joseph looked up, his eyes stern. “I hope so. I don’t want Rook or my family to be put in danger again.”

“Neither do I. They’ll be locked up for a while. If I see their behaviours improve, then we can discuss a parole. Until then, they’ll stay in the prison. I’m sure I can find something for them to do there.” 

Joseph turned away, grabbing the bowl of veggies, and scraped them down into a frying pan. He clicked the electric stove on and leaned back against the counter, watching Earl like he was waiting for him to say something else. Whatever was on the Sheriff’s mind stayed there as Jacob entered the kitchen with John in tow. 

The dinner went by quickly and Earl bid his goodbyes afterwards, the last of the resistance to leave the ranch. Joseph sat at the end of the table with his siblings at his side. He looked over to Jacob, who was slumped in his chair and relaxing and on the verge of falling asleep with a full stomach . 

“Jacob, I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done,” Joseph began, catching his eldest brother’s attention with his soft voice. “You did everything you could to get John and Rook back, even siding with the resistance. You went above and beyond and I believe that deserves recognition.”

John was watching quietly as Jacob shrugged. “I did what I had to do.”

“You did far more.” Joseph sighed and took Jacob’s hand. The older man’s eyes widened slightly “Since we found each other again, our time together has been strained and difficult. I kept a distance between us out of fear and anger but I feel it’s time I forgive you for your actions.”

Jacob couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He could see the honesty in Joseph’s eyes but it wasn’t clicking in his brain. He wanted nothing more than to be properly included in his own family again, longed for it far more than he was willing to admit it. To see  Joseph look at him with love again.

“I believe you’ve been punished enough and you’ve more than made up for it. Jacob, I’d love nothing more than to have my brother back. I forgive you.”

Jacob realised that his eyes were blurring with tears . H e stood up, throwing himself down at Joseph in a messy, chest-slamming embrace as he clung to his brother. He hardly heard what John said, something about being a family again, but he felt his little brother’s hand on his back. The walls he’d built up, unknowingly, came crashing down and all he wanted to do was hold onto Joseph and John and never let them go. He would do nothing to anger Joseph anymore, nothing to ever risk losing his brother again.

“Thank you,” he whispered against Joseph’s collar, burying his head beneath Joseph’s chin. “I’m so sorry for what I did. I acted so harshly, I never thought about how much I was hurting you. I was so angry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Joseph shushed him and coaxed his face out of hiding, wiping Jacob’s tears away. “I know you are. It’s alright, we’re a family again. Right, John?”

“Yes, of course we are. Everything’s going to be okay, Jake. We love you.” John’s hand moved in circles across his back, relaxing the soldier.  Jacob pulled his brother into the hug as well, clinging to both of them dearly.

“I love you too. So much.” Fresh tears spilled and for once, Jacob didn’t care if it made him look weak. It was just him and his brothers, no one else. He held on tight and never wanted to let go.

\---

Two peaceful weeks passed by in the blink of an eye. Rook slept through most of it but once he could stand, he went to Michael’s bedside. The  Peggie was unconscious but his pulse was strong. Rook couldn’t describe the relief he felt. 

He was distracted by the many visitors in and out of the ranch. Mostly his friends but a few locals and  Peggie s too. He was gathering a fanbase, it seemed. Nick and Kim came by to announce they were moving back in to their old house, that they would host a party once they’d settled down and they’d invite everybody they knew including the Seeds.

John was healing quickly, his cuts fading into thin scars across his brow and cheek. He complained about it but Rook only said it made him look more handsome. After that, he shut up about it and tried to enjoy his rugged appearance. 

Jacob stayed for the first few days, checking in on Rook and his brothers before the centre eventually needed his attention once again. He’d taken up training those kids while Rook was out of commission and every other night he radioed in their progress. The kids were going to be great survivalists but the little girl always complained about Rook’s absence. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Rook was a more  laid back teacher than Jacob. Whatever the cause, Rook loved hearing about  the kids . 

Rook noticed quickly that Staci also visited a lot and stayed long after he’d said hello to Rook. He didn’t say anything to Pratt but he watched him chat with a Chosen, disappearing into the woods with them  _ a lot _ . 

And Joseph was hosting his weekly sermon s with a lot more grandeur than before. The preacher ignored the warning about pyres and lit one up halfway into the week to remind the cult that no one would take them, that God was protecting his flock. Rook watched from the balcony, entranced by the flames  in the dark  and Joseph’s steady and confident voice as it boomed over the audience.

\---

It wasn’t until the Ryes’ party that Rook finally stepped out of the ranch. Someone else  had been walking his dog in the meantime and Peaches just ran around and did her own thing, but it felt good to walk them down behind the house. The Spring was only warming up even more and the sun was shining brightly between the green trees. It amazed Rook just how quickly everything strived even after a nuclear detonation. He longed to see the rest of the world. 

He went back inside to shower and get changed before the afternoon party. Food was supposed to be offered and Rook had found some whiskey bottles John wasn’t going to miss. Joseph was cooking something up since the early morning, likely the deer a Chosen had shot a few days before. 

Rook let his pets roam the house as he went down into the bunker, jogging down the corridors to his room as his walk left him energised. His body still hurt and his left arm was practically useless from the two bullet wounds, but the cuts were healing and he’d somehow walked away without broken bones. 

Kicking off his shoes at the doorstep , he unbuckled his jeans with one hand and had to sit on the bed to pull them down. His flannel came off easily, slipping over the bandages on his arm. The ones on his chest were gone already, something to do with the drugs Joseph insisted on giving him. They always suspiciously looked like Bliss. Still, it hurt to breathe in too deeply. 

Making his way to the bathtub, he fumbled with the hot water for the shower head above him. Rook looked at himself in the mirror and winced at the bruises on his jaw and bridge,  green and yellow. His torso was a mosaic of colours that he didn’t dare to prod at. He knew it would be a while before he and Joseph could have any  real  sex, his body too battered to handle the strain and exercise. Still, he and Joe could still have some fun. 

It gave him an idea. He went to his discarded jeans, where he’d clipped a small radio to his belt. He grabbed it and held it up to his mouth. 

“Hey, Joe, pick up. It’s Rook.”

He only had to wait half a minute for a reply. “Yes?”

“I need help downstairs .  Could you come down?”

Joseph sighed and turned the stove off. “Alright, I’ll be down in five minutes.”

Rook went back to the tub and turned off the water, letting his hand linger in the hot spray for a minute and wishing Joseph would just hurry up. He was getting hard just thinking about his plan so he quickly squeezed the base and ma d e himself innocent again.

Joseph knocked on the door politely before letting himself in. He found Rook in the bathroom completely naked and raised a brow. It wasn’t an emergency like he’d imagined, far from it.

“And what exactly do you need help with?” 

Rook giggled and crossed the space between them, mindful of the bruises as he pushed himself against Joseph’s clothed chest. He couldn’t wait until it was warm enough for the preacher to be shirtless twenty-four-seven. He grabbed  Joseph’s hand and dragged it down his own ribs and hip bone.

“It’s very difficult showering with only one hand.”

Joseph fought off a smirk. “Is it now? Is that what you want help with, for me to clean you up?” 

He took control of his hand again and brushed his knuckles against Rook’s hardening cock.  He grabbed it and used it to p ull Rook closer, grind ing the rough denim of his jeans into Rook’s cock  and  making the younger man whimper at the overstimulating friction. Rook took over, rotating his hips so his cock could  rub up against Joseph’s crotch.

“I’d really appreciate it.”

“I’m sure you would. Come on, hop in. Let me undress without you grinding against me.” He pushed Rook back enough to pull his shirt free  from his waistband  and started unbuttoning it. 

“You started it,” Rook replied with a pout, doing as he was told and turning the showerhead back on. It would be easier to take a whole bath but that wasn’t the point. He’d bathed the night before, the most dirt on his body was sweat from his walk in the sun and a bit of dried mud on his fingers from picking up Boomer’s fetching stick. This was just to freshen up and hopefully blow his load. 

Joseph stripped quickly and tried to keep his hair away from the water, not wanting to  head back  upstairs with a  suspiciously  wet bun. He positioned Rook with his back to the water so Rook took most of the impact and squirted soap into his hands, rubbing it gently over Rook’s body. The Deputy let him, sighing softly.

“God, I can’t wait to heal up.” 

Joseph frowned at the blasphemy and flicked Rook’s nipple, making the younger man wince and chuckle. “Why is that?”

“ Cause I miss being inside you and fucking you senseless. You know how some people have a fantasy of defiling a priest? You’re the  real life version.” Rook liked the way Joe blushed  so he  kissed his cheek. 

“Please don’t  _ defile  _ me. We make love, we share one body in the sight of God. It’s different, it’s not perverted.” Even as he said that, Joseph’s hand trailed down to Rook’s cock to clean him. 

Rook bit the inside of his cheek to stop grinning. In a straight voice he said, “So it wasn’t  perverted to blow my load in your ass and force you to keep it there while you host a sermon last month ? Good, because I wouldn’t want to upset God when you’re trying to preach about lust and sin and there’s cum spilling down your thighs from your fucked-out hole.”

The look Joseph gave him was one of embarrassment, hunger, and sheer surprise. Rook didn’t mind the way he accidentally squeezed his cock too hard, he was too focused on the size of Joseph’s eyes and his sharp breath. Rook reached down to start stroking Joseph’s hardening cock languidly. 

“You know, maybe it’s because I haven’t  had sex  in nearly t hree weeks, but last night I dreamt that I fucked you in front of your congregation. Like a  full on show. I can’t remember much sadly but I definitely made you cum facing your followers. And they were getting off to it. So was I,  ‘cause I know I dreamt of  cumming in  you. And I woke up so hard.”

“That explains your neediness this morning.”  Joseph gulped and hid his face in Rook’s neck, kissing his warm skin and trailing his lips up and down. His hand kept moving, stroking rhythmically and always rubbing the head with his thumb. Rook moaned softly, jerking Joseph off as well. 

“I  kinda want to try that, with all your closest followers. Fuck you against the pulpit while you try to preach about corruption.”

“You will do no such thing,” Joseph warned though his cock twitched in Rook’s palm. Rook laughed and nudged him into a kiss, moving his lips softly before he bit down on Joseph’s lower lip and sucked it until the preacher moaned.

“Uh huh, you’re still getting off to the idea. I mean, Faith had orgies going on in the Henbane. I walked in on them a few times and I know her followers were very eager to please. If I was in your place, I’d love it if I had people fighting to suck my dick.” 

Rook wasn’t lying, he’d experienced a two-mouth blowjob in his high school changing rooms and it had made his life so much happier and wetter. Remembering it made him shiver, how the two boys in his final year held him back after the last class of the day and blew him behind a wall of lockers. They’d almost got caught by a teacher. Still, he would always remember what the boys kissing with his cock in between their mouths felt like. 

“I’m sure you have a lot of  Peggie s dying to suck your dick.”

Joseph hummed and shook his head. “I’m sure I  do, however I am taken and I would never use them in such depraved ways. Your mouth is more than enough for me, I don’t need others.”

“Like you’d complain. If it’s my mouth you want... I’d be happy to service you in exchange for your pretty lips.” Rook let go of his cock for a moment to brush his thumb over Joseph’s lips, leaving a trail of precum. Joseph licked it off, his eyes almost shut but watching Rook intensely. 

“I’d be happy to accept such a deal . Be a good boy and turn around.”

Rook raised his brows but did as he was told. Joseph’s mouth trailed kisses down his spine, all the way down to his tailbone. Rook gasped as Joseph bit the flesh of one cheek and then the other. He saw Joseph kneel behind him and a moment later he gasped at the wet tongue licking over his hole.

“Joseph!”

“Yes, dear?” He sounded so smug.

“You’ve never done that before, what gives?” Rook braced his arms on the tiles and pushed his ass back. He didn’t know why but he liked the feeling.

“I like trying new things.” Joseph placed his hands on each cheek and parted them, revealing Rook’s hole, and dragged his tongue over it. “Do you like it?”

Rook mumbled a yes and gasped again, enjoying the slow licks as Joseph lapped at him. His hand came round Rook’s hip to jerk him off. The angle wasn’t the best and Rook forced himself to stay still. The tongue worked its way inside him as Joseph kissed his hole and worshipped his ass. He moved back to spread Rook’s legs and licked a broad stripe from behind his balls and up inside him, making Rook groan and shiver and push back demandingly.

“You’re enjoying this a lot, aren’t you, my angel?”

“Yes, so much. Fuck, it’s so weird but I love it. I’m so close. You keep doing that, I’ll jerk myself off. Just focus on that-  Ahhh fuck, Joseph!” 

The preacher grinned as two fingers joined his tongue. He pushed in deep, curling his fingers and rubbing Rook’s walls, as his tongue lapped over the rim. Rook’s hand moved quickly, fisting his cock as he tried to think beyond the pleasure to work the head between his fingers. Joseph reached around and squeezed his tight balls, massaging them as he thrusted his fingers inside Rook and licked his hole. 

Rook came with a shout, moaning Joseph’s name as the preacher pressed down on his prostate and fucked him on his tongue. His cum splattered on the tiles and he collapsed against the wall, his breath knocked from him. Joseph licked him for a few more moments before pulling away and grinning smugly. He wiped his mouth using water he scooped into his palm. Just before pulling away, he bit down on Rook’s cheek and kissed it better. 

Rook was shaking with the effort of standing up, drawing deep breaths that caused his chest to ache. It didn’t hurt enough to overtake the waves of pleasure pulsing through his body but it made conscious of it. As to not overexert himself, Rook eased himself to his knees in the tub and turned to face Joseph.

He was greeted by Joseph’s cock, waiting patiently for Rook to touch it. Rook chuckled and held up a finger to push down the head, amused when it bounced back up undeterred. 

“That was fun,” Rook said, grinning as he sat up straight and kissed the underside and swept his tongue over the glistening wet head. Joseph hummed approvingly, angling his hips to push his cock into Rook’s open mouth.

“It was, clearly you enjoyed your little fantasy.” Joseph ran a hand through Rook’s curls and gripped a fistful of hair to pull Rook closer. Not quite choking him but just on the verge of straining his jaw. He knew the tears in Rook’s eye were a natural reflex because the Deputy was looking up with half-shut eyes that stared adoringly. “Maybe you’re the one who would enjoy being used in front of a crowd. Don’t think I’ve forgotten all the times you touched me in the bunker, when someone could’ve walked in on us. You love an audience, you love the risk of getting caught. Don’t you,  sweetheart ?”

Rook moaned around his cock and nodded gently, bobbing his head in time with Joseph’s encouraging grip. Maybe he had been projecting a little earlier... The idea of being shoved on his knees and used turned him on and Joseph already had a crowd that would watch without interruption. It was nothing like that time he’d been passed around the barracks the night before leaving for his first tour.

Rook pulled back and Joseph let him, releasing his hair and scratching his scalp where he’d tugged. The Deputy sighed and kissed the cock sweetly, his useful arm reaching up to jerk it off. 

“Are you alright? Is it too much strain?” Joseph looked worried but Rook shook his head and smiled.

“I’m fine, just want to use my mouth for something else. You are right, I do have a kink for that. Would you like to hear a story?”

Joseph laughed. “Sure. Is it long? I think we’re using up a lot of water.”

Rook glanced back at the shower and turned it off. The soap was long gone, as were the traces of his orgasm. He grabbed one of the fluffy towels from the handrail and draped it over his shoulders before jerking Joseph again.

“I’ve told you about my military service, haven’t I?”

Joseph frowned, thrown off kilter by the strange question. “You’ve briefly mentioned it once or twice.”

“When I was about to be deploye d , I had a few good friends in my unit. We were all messing around, none of us were older than twenty-five, I think, but it slipped out that a couple of us were into guys. The other guys made fun but they weren’t dicks about it, thankfully. And then came the night we were all about to leave the States.” Rook kept jerking Joseph off, kissing his cock here and there between the pauses to keep him interested. “Thinking back on it now, the timing was awful. But what happen ed was that after curfew, everybody was nervous and scared and my gay buddy thought it would be fun to have one last fuck before we’d get shot at. I said yes, obviously, and I guess I was making too much noise because someone turned the lights on and found us.”

“There’s the kink,” Joseph said with a sly smile, petting Rook’s head. He was enjoying the  handjob but most of his attention was on Rook’s story. 

“Uhm, not quite. It gets better. See, some of the guys had been jerking off to us and I’m not sure what I said, or whether it was my friend, but I managed to convince them that my ass was better than their hands. There  were  like fifteen guys with us too. Some of them said no, but others pulled me off the bed and onto the floor. My friend took my ass again and someone fucked my mouth. I don’t know how many dicks I sucked that night but I remember I was fucking soaked in cum, like it kept pouring out of my ass, because every time someone was done, another person got their dick hard again. All night they fucked me and my friend. The room stank of sex after. I’m pretty sure everyone ended up joining in in the end because my friend and I just became their sex toys.”

Rook paused and took Joseph into his mouth, his lips meeting his fist as he sucked long and hard. Joseph was breathing hard, his erection painful now and desperate to release. His cheeks were red and his brow damp with sweat. Rook pulled off and gave it a sloppy kiss. 

“I have no idea how we didn’t get caught. Maybe our CO didn’t care. But the next day was so painful and I could barely walk. I literally woke up to one guy fucking me in my sleep cause I was still so loose. Normally alarm bells would’ve been ringing but I just encouraged him. And it brought on more guys. The only reason they stopped fucking me was because of the breakfast bell before our flight. I have no clue to this day how many times I came or how the room managed to look so pristine after that  fuckfest , or even how I survived the fifteen-hour flight afterwards.”

Rook leaned forward to suck on his tight balls, bringing them into his mouth one by one and pulling them. His tongue licked wildly as he let go, trailing up Joseph’s cock. He grinned at the state Joseph was in, debauched and dying to come. 

“So, yeah, I  kinda have a thing for public sex. Get me horny enough and I’ll let you and your brothers fuck me in front of the  Peggie s . I will beg for your cock, maybe blow you whilst you’re preaching about Lust or something. Maybe pass me around, let everybody use me to cleanse their sins or some-” 

“Oh fuck!”

Rook was interrupted as Joseph grabbed a handful of hair and pushed his cock into Rook’s mouth, barely inside before he came hard on his tongue. Joseph cried out, throwing a hand out to balance himself on the tiles as he pumped his hips and dragged his cock in and out of Rook’s mouth. He pulled back after a breath less moment to admire the sticky mess he’d made as Rook dutifully opened his mouth to show him. 

“Fuck, that’s... That was more than I could handle.”

“Did you enjoy my story?” Rook grinned, licking the sensitive slit to clean Joseph before he swallowed the cum lingering at the back of his throat.

“Was it true?”

Rook laughed. “Yes, it was. I didn’t mention it but when we landed, a couple days after orientation, I got gangbanged again in the changing rooms and our CO really did catch us this time.”

Joseph climbed out of the tub and patted himself dry with a towel, though most of the water hadn’t reached him. He held out a hand for Rook to get out without stumbling on his numb legs.

“Did he write you up?”

“No. He walked out and let us finish. He pulled me aside the next day and tried to blackmail me, said he’d tell his superiors if I didn’t bend over his desk.” Joseph grabbed his arm tentatively, frowning and furious at the thought of someone hurting his lover. Rook noticed and kissed him. “Relax, I didn’t. I broke his nose instead and then I told him he was free to tell his superiors about it, knowing I’d call him out for the harassment. He left me alone after that.” 

“Good, you worried me.”

Rook didn’t think he’d ever get used to the sympathetic look on Joseph’s face, the one that screamed the preacher would go to any length to protect him. He kissed him again, sweeter this time, reassuring him with the press of his lips. 

“We should get ready for the party. I mean, that’s why I came down here to shower. You turned the stove off, right?”

There was a split second of pure fear in Joseph’s eyes before he remembered he had turned it off so nothing would burn. Rook chuckled .

“I’m going to need your help getting dressed, like this morning.” Rook went into their bedroom, tying a towel around his hips only for Joseph to sneak up behind him and pull it down. “Hey!”

His complaints died when Joseph grabbed his ass and massaged the flesh, one finger trailing over his  looser  hole. Surely Joseph wasn’t ready for a second round already?

“Babe, you just came,” the Deputy  whined , bringing a hand back to grab Joseph’s hip.

“I know. I’m just trying to picture your ass after you took fifteen men. I’d pay to see that.” Joseph rested his head on  Rook’s shoulder and kissed his neck. 

“That definitely  counts as  a sin, Joseph. But if you ever decide to start having cult orgies like Faith, you won’t have to pay. I won’t complain, the world is a happier place when everyone’s getting off.”

Joseph laughed and playfully bit his shoulder. “I’m sure it is. However, what kind of leader would I be if I allowed my flock to succumb to sin?”

“A nice one?” Rook yelped as Joseph slapped his ass. “Alright, alright ,  don‘ t then. I’m going to raid  John’s room for something nice to wear. He’ll kill me if I turn up in  ripped jeans. You stay here, get yourself looking decent too. No preacher  stuff .”

Rook stepped away and gathered his towel with a wince. Joseph sighed. 

“What exactly counts as ‘preacher stuff’ to you?”

“That white shirt, with the black band. Your suit. Your belt-”

Joseph crossed his arms. “I’m keeping the belt.”

“Okay, fine, but try to look normal. Less like the Father and more like Joe.” 

Joseph sighed again but despite the frown and disappointed dad-face, he wasn’t very intimidating completely naked and skinny as a whip. Not even the tattoos or his strong arms helped and those usually made Rook light-headed. The blood in his body went to one spot when Joseph flexed. 

“I’ll let you find something and if  you can’t, we’ll raid John’s closet for a shirt. His stuff should fit you.” Rook was almost at the door, holding his towel up because he’d tied it badly with only one hand. 

“Should I be surprised you’re not even asking him for permission to borrow his clothes?”

“No, I do it all the time. I borrow from all of you. You do realise all my actual clothes are in my old house just  _ outside  _ of Hope? What’s in my bag is all stolen or borrowed, most of which I took from Dutch’s bunker. I’ll be back in a bit. Remember, pick something-”

“-Normal. Yes, I got it, thank you Rook.”

Rook grinned and left, leaving Joseph to stare at the few non-preacher clothes he owned. He may just have to raid his brother’s room even for a shirt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now Jacob is finally accepted in the family again <3 took a while!   
> Hope you're all enjoying the story!!   
> Let me know your thoughts and theories.


	49. Old Scars

It seemed like the whole family had the exact same thought to raid John’s luscious bedroom for his impeccable sense of style. Rook was grabbing an armful of clothes when Jacob rounded the doorway and froze still.

“Hi,” Rook greeted, praying his towel stayed up. 

Jacob gave him a once-over and crossed his arms, a brow raised elegantly. “Hi.”

Rook wasn’t sure if he was staring at something in particular, maybe the red WRATH below his collarbones or the bruises or even at his badly tied towel. Or maybe it was the stolen clothes.

“I’m just borrowing these for the party.”

“Right.”

“Why are you in here?”

Jacob relaxed and walked into the room, stepping around Rook to go to the double wardrobes. “I came for a shirt, I don’t any with buttons and John’s insisting I look pretty for the Ryes. At least I have his permission to be here.”

“Like he’s going to  complai \- Oh,  _ hey, John _ .” 

John was watching with a sly grin, shoulder pressed against the frame of the door. He tried to hold back a laugh and went to Rook, inspecting what he’d dug out.

“You’re learning. At least someone here understands which colours go well together.”

“Should I have asked or...?” Rook didn’t even look one bit apologetic, hugging the clothes like he had every right to them. 

“It would’ve been nice but at least you knew to come here for style, rather than search among your shredded t-shirts.” John stopped and glared at his brother, over Rook’s shoulder. “Jacob, I swear to God you are not wearing that!” 

Rook looked back and Jacob was holding the ugliest shirt he’d ever seen. An unnatural orange with shades of red and yellow with a pattern of flowers and birds. 

John was  glowering. “That shirt costs more than half my watch collection. Put it back.” 

Jacob snorted and hung it up  again. “The fact that you own this makes me want to disown you.”

“It’s one of a kind.”

“It looks like a bad LSD trip.”

Rook stood there, chuckling to himself, as he watched the brothers bicker over the hideous shirt. Jacob grunted and picked out something less horrendous but John still threw a fit. After a couple minutes, it seemed that the noise had brought Joseph over to investigate.

The middle brother seemed equally amused but utterly lost, barefoot on the hardwood. He’d put on a cleaner pair of black jeans and his enormous belt was a shining beacon, but he’d also had a problem getting dressed to a normal standard.

He joined Rook’s side, sitting on the end of the bed with him.

“What’s going on?” He asked, half listening as John marched to the wardrobes and insisted on putting everything Jacob touched  back in place .

“John owns a lot of ugly shirts and Jacob’s making fun of him.”

“They’re not ugly, they’re designer!” John argued back, somehow able to hear the other conversation over Jacob’s laughter. 

“It’s like a first grader’s painting. I might as well just hang it up on the fridge,” Jacob teased, pul lin g out something shiny. “Why did you buy all this stuff? The bunker is meant for essentials, it’s not spare storage for all your crap.”

Rook placed his bundle down and got up, standing between the two squabbling brothers and grabbed a shiny green blazer. John readied to yank it from his grasp.

“Jacob, don’t be so cruel,” Rook said, stepping back a little. “John did his best with the bunker. I mean, look at this thing. It is an essential. How else could we signal for help? They’re going to see this from miles away if we shine a light on it !”

Jacob burst out laughing and Joseph couldn’t help it either, falling back on the bed and grabbing his sides as he wheezed for air. Rook grinned, looking immensely proud at making his boys laugh so much. John... not so much.

“ You asshole !” John exclaimed, grabbing the hanger forcefully from Rook’s hand and shoving it back deep with the wardrobe. “Go, get out. Jacob, you can fuck off too. I know you have your own clothes. Go, go on.”

Jacob was tripping over himself as he laughed, making his way to the door. Rook heard him all the way down the corridor. 

“What about me?” Joseph asked, pulling himself upright in a fluid motion. “I’m sorry for making fun of your clothes. Rook insists that I wear something normal- to his standards- and I have nothing of the sort.”

“Careful, he’s going to treat you like his personal Ken doll,” Rook warned, dodging a shirt John threw at his head. It landed on the floor so he picked it up and placed it on the bed.

“I thought I told you to go . ”

“John, calm down. I’m sorry.” Rook came closer and wrapped one arm around John. “I  won’t make fun  of your stuff anymore . Will you please help Joseph?”

John sighed and finally returned the embrace carefully, minding both their injuries. He glanced at Joseph and sighed again , deeper and annoyed- though he was putting it on for dramatics .

“Fine. Fine. Let me see what I can do.” He turned back to his wardrobe and placed his hands on his hips, looking at his belongings with a keen eye.

\---

Staci parked his car by the hangar, out of the way, and sat back with his arm resting on the window. His bracelets jingled as he flicked cigarette ash away. He watched the hangar through his sunglasses and waited until he saw Alex turn the corner. They spotted each other and Alex gestured for him to follo w.

Staci climbed out, pocketing his keys in his clean jeans- black and tight and freshly washed. He wanted to put some effort into his appearance, considering how kind the Ryes were to host the county. He’d tied his hair back into a small ponytail just above his nape and tucked the unruly strands behind his ears. 

Walking up to the hangar, he yelped as hands gripped his shirt and pulled him into the building. His pathetic scream was smothered by Alex’s lips and the Chosen’s giggle calming his nerves instantly. Staci reached out to cradle the man’s jaw and pulled him into a deeper kiss. When they parted, Alex was laughing softly. 

“What’s so funny?” Staci asked, glancing around the empty hangar before pushing Alex back against Affirmation’s right wing. His hands wandered down Alex’s chest and came to a rest at his sharp hips, squeezing the flesh and angling him forward against Staci.

“You scream like a girl.” Alex leaned up into another kiss with a grin but Staci dodged him and brought his lips to the Chosen’s neck, nibbling where his shirt collar ended. 

Seeing grey instead of the usual black, Staci pulled back and actually looked at Alex. His fingers brushed his belt and the rough cotton of his black cargos, and he could see Alex’s heavy combat boots. All looked normal until he noticed th e grey tee with a faded Metallica logo and a black denim shirt unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up. 

“You look...”

“Normal?” Alex provided with a laugh, amused at the surprise on Staci’s face. “I do own things beside my uniforms. Granted I never get to wear them but Jacob said we could relax today.” 

Staci wasn’t aware that the Ryes had truly meant it when they said they’d invited everybody. That meant the Chosen too. He smiled and reached up to run a thumb across the sharp line of Alex’s jaw, enjoying the smoothness from the recent shave. 

“You look good,” Staci said honestly, making Alex blush and grin. 

“You do too, I just wish you’d skip the flannel and let me see those strong arms.” Alex ran his hands down Staci’s shoulders and groped the defined muscles with a hungry look.

“Eager little fuck, aren’t you?” Alex nodded without shame, already trying to remove the green and black shirt. Staci grabbed his hands to stop him. “Don’t. We have to g o soon. We can mess around later.” 

“Promise?” Alex kissed him, taking his hands back and grabbing Staci’s cock through his jeans. Staci groaned into his mouth and  pulled his hips back, only for Alex to follow.

“Stop, stop. Come on, let’s get going.”

Alex laughed but let go, giving Staci’s half hard cock one last stroke before he abandoned his catch.  “We’re going together?”

“Sure, why not?” Staci started readjusting himself, giving Alex a weak glare when he tried to hide his arousal . 

“Won’t it look strange? Shouldn’t you go with your people? We can always meet up there once we’ve said hello to everybody.” Alex made sense but that didn’t stop the disappointment in Staci’s heart. He knew it would look bad, to both sides, if they showed up hand in hand. Alex was right, they could just meet up and find somewhere quiet.  Leave the judgement for another day.

“Yeah, okay.” 

Alex tried to keep smiling but he was sad too. Life wasn’t fair or simple, he couldn’t do what he wanted. Not under Jacob’s rule and not around the resistance. Still, that didn’t stop him from kissing Staci deeply one last time before they parted and left the hangar. He watched Staci disappear into the house, likely on a hunt for the Deputy, and decided to seek out his teammates so they could head down together. 

\---

At least the breeze wasn’t strong and the midday sun was warm enough to allow Joey to fish out an old summer dress. She didn’t normally reveal her legs, and the effort to shave them would only be worth it if the day remained in such good conditions, but as she waited beside Staci and flattened the floral fabric over her knees, she felt happy. Light-hearted and relaxed, better than she had felt in many months. 

Her dress was colourful with pink, blue, and green flowers , and the top half reached over her scars which was the main reason she’d picked it. Even if half the county was fine with showing off their sins, she wasn’t. Waiting for Rook in the hall , she fiddled with the hem and the buttons  down her chest  idly. 

“I didn’t  even  know you owned a dress,” Staci commented as he joined her on the couch , reaching up to tuck some of her loose hair behind her ear. Most of her hair was in a nice plait, decorated with small jewels, and it hung over her shoulder like it usually did. 

“It’s not my thing, normally. I thought this was worth it, though, it’s not every day we have a big party. I miss the Rye’s barbeque, it was always so fun.”

It used  to be  a big yearly celebration when the entire county came together to enjoy the sun and cold beer. It was a common event until the Seeds became a bigger problem and the Ryes felt unsafe having them near. Now that was all changing again and Joey wasn’t sure how she’d handle it. 

“You look nice. It seems like everyone’s put in the effort.” 

She nodded and smiled. “Seems that way.”

Staci glanced at her. “Hey, what’s happening with the whole police department situation? Earl hasn’t really filled me in and you know, I haven’t seen you in ages.” 

Joey looked uncomfortable and tried to pass it off with a weak smile. “It’s all a bit off a mess, really.”

Staci grabbed her hand and took it away from the hem of her dress, looking at her. He knew he was being left it but he’d rather hear it from Joey rather than being left to his own conclusions.

“Just be honest with me. You don’t want me there, that’s why everybody’s being so secretive. Isn’t it?”

“I... Look, Staci, right now isn’t a good time to talk about this.”

“Then when is it a good time? I’ve proved myself reliable, haven’t I? I went with Jacob to find John, I helped out. I’m useful, why can’t you see that?”

Joey frowned, an expression that didn’t suit her lovely face. She took her hand back. “That’s not the point. Stace, if something were to happen- We can’t take that risk.”

Staci swallowed and nodded to himself, his voice cracking with understanding. “I’m not getting my old job back, am I?”

Joey averted her eyes. “I’m sorry, Staci. It’s too much of a risk right now . Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, I am. I should’ve known. Nobody trusts me anymore, I’m just this ticking timebomb. Never know when I’m  gonna explode, right?” He chuckled but his eyes prickled with tears. Joey reached out to touch his shoulder and he pulled back sharply, startling her and making her hand wither and return to her lap. 

“Staci...”

“No, just- please, don’t.” Staci stood up and went to the front door. “I need some fresh air. Tell Rook I’ll see him at the Ryes.”

Joey said nothing as he shut the door behind him. She cared so much about him, he was like her little brother, but Staci was dangerous whether he meant to be or not. Even alongside Jacob he’d shown Joey how much he’d changed into somebody she didn’t recognise.

The sound of footsteps and the hallway door opening dragged her attention away and she saw Rook emerge with the Seeds in tow. He was grinning, laughing at whatever John had said, and he only grinned brighter when he noticed Joey.

“Hey, don’t you look fabulous?” She stood and Rook pulled her into a hug. “Where’s Staci? I thought he was joining us.”

“He said he’d meet us there.” She hoped her smile was convincing. 

“Oh, okay. Well, let’s go.” Rook held out his elbow and Joey couldn’t help chuckling as she linked their arms together. He glanced at Joseph, dressed in a lovely blue shirt, and shrugged. “The lady has to be escorted after all.”

Joey didn’t elbow his ribs out of kindness but she did smack his uninjured shoulder. He laughed and started walking her out, the Seeds right behind them. 

Groups were heading down the driveway, no point in wasting fuel for a half-mile walk. Boomer ran ahead, barking at people and startling birds away, and people were hesitant to go near Peaches as she trotted beside Rook. 

Joey half listened as the Seeds chattered behind her but she tensed when John spoke too loudly. She was getting better by herself, perhaps not as well as Staci, but slowly she was calming her nerves. Rook’s presence helped a lot. She promised herself things would get better someday and she clung to that hope tightly.


	50. Ryes' BBQ

The Ryes had set up tables and chairs on their front lawn, protect ing them  with white sheets and  red checkerboard  plastic covers. Each table had flowers, picked from the wild by a couple of kids who’d helped them move back in. Cars were parked further on the runway and the guests were allowed to drop off their belongings in the living room.

Rook stood on the porch beside Nick, taking the offered beer as they watched the locals help themselves to the food. It was all laid out nicely and he smiled when people wanted what Joseph had cooked.

“Hell of a lot better than their last offering,” Nick mumbled, his eyes fixed on the same scene. “Goddamn mac n’ cheese still haunts me to this day.”

Rook chuckled and glanced across the lawn to the table where his boyfriends sat together. Kim had joined them and was trying to feed Carmina some baby food while trying to enjoy her own meal. It wasn’t working well, balancing the child and her plate, so John effortlessly took over and fed the girl.  He seemed happy to spoon fruity mush into her mouth. 

Rook looked over to Joseph, downright handsome in his light-blue denim shirt and his hair tied back in a loose bun. Some of his hair was hanging freely at his temples and his bright smile was only making Rook more convinced he’d made the right choice. Falling in love with him hadn’t been a decision in itself but accepting the man into his heart was, and Rook certain he couldn’t have done better. He wanted to go over to him, tell him that all this cute domestic stuff was making him teary-eyed behind his aviators. 

Before he made a scene, Rook looked away to Jacob. He was sat alone at another table, his plate empty and beer drained. The soldier was keeping an eye on his family but he was distracted when Staci came over and sat beside him. That Chosen Staci liked was there too, trying to engage Jacob socially. Rook knew things were getting better, that Staci was his own man again, but he still felt worry at seeing them together.  He wanted to know why Staci had such an obsession with that Chosen but he had his suspicions about why they snuck away into the woods every other night claiming to go on patrol. Staci was either suddenly interested in keeping the ranch safe or he wanted the privacy and cover of darkness for other activities. Whatever his reason, Rook was proud of him for making a friend. At least he wasn’t the only Deputy falling for someone of the opposite faction

Rook glanced to the other side of the gathering by the trees. Joey, Grace, and Jess, were chatting happily over beer and good food. Mary May came to sit with them and she had Charlotte hooked on her arm. The new  Peggie looked stunning, a striking resemblance to Faith in her lacy white dress and curled up hair. She belonged on the cover of a wedding magazine, giggling and smiling as she joined the girl gang. Rook had barely spoken to her for weeks but she was doing fine blending in with the rest of the county as far as he could tell. The ladies looked happy to let her join.

A truck rolled up the runway and braked, leaving a trail of dust in its wake. Earl climbed out, followed by Tammy and  Wheaty , and Nick excused himself to greet the newcomers. The pilot encouraged them to take whatever they wanted from the tables but  Wheaty decided to say hello to Rook.

“It’s been a while, Dep! How are you, man?”  Wheaty fist-bumped with Rook. He looked more mature, the beginnings of adulthood sneaking into his young face. There was a trace of facial hair and his jaw and cheeks were sharper and more defined. 

“Doing pretty good, considering recent events. Haven’t seen you in ages, kiddo. You okay?”

“Yeah, not bad. Tammy’s making me do so much work lately. You should come by the Den some day, give everybody a little morale boost.”

Rook frowned behind his glasses. “Morale boost? Something wrong?”

Wheaty waved him off. “Nah, nothing’s wrong. It’s just that before you used to be our symbol of hope, sounds cheesy I know.” He tilted his head down shyly. “You’re  kinda like my idol, you know? Cause you were always fighting the bad guys and surviving death all the time. Lots of people look up to you, Dep.”

Rook patted the kid’s back. “I can visit, it’s no problem. You’re doing pretty great yourself, fixing up all our electronics. Without you, we’d be in the stone age.”

Wheaty grinned and flushed. “Thanks, I try my best.”

Rook was planning to praise the kid more, give him a little ego boost for all his hard work but Tammy had other plans. 

“Hey,  Wheaty , come eat something,”  she called out from the barbeque, holding out a plate as Earl filled it for her. She turned to the Sheriff and kissed his cheek. Rook blinked and his surprise was obvious enough for  Wheaty to laugh,

“Oh, yeah, they’re together these days. Leading together and all that. They’re happy, though. I’m glad Tammy found someone after Eli. Took her a while to open up to Earl but I think she made a good call. He’s nice.”

Rook smiled. “Yeah, they make a good team. Go on, grab some food.” He patted  Wheaty’s back again and watched him step down onto the lawn to join his little adopted family.

He was too caught up in watching them that he didn’t notice Joseph walk up to the porch. Joseph climbed the couple stairs and grabbed Rook’s hand.

“Come join us, darling. I miss your company.” Joseph brought his forehead to Rook’s and smiled kindly, pulling him away to their table.

John greeted him with half his attention on the baby in his lap, bouncing Carmina and smiling at her giggles and babbles. Rook sat down with them and relaxed against Joseph’s side, calm and happy under the warm sun. The sky was cloudless, it was a stunning day.

It was only made better when a couple of cars arrived on the edge of the drive. Everyone turned to them and Rook bolted straight up at the sight of Adelaide and Jerome. He pulled away from Joseph and ran to the couple, barely waiting for them to walk onto the lawn before embracing them together with his arms stretched wide.

“Dep?”

Adelaide was in tears in an instant, clutching onto her favourite officer and stroking his face like she couldn’t believe he was really there. Rook was crying too, holding on to the only mother-like figure he’d ever had since his actual mother passed away when he was a teenager. He barely pulled away long enough to be engulfed by Jerome, the priest mumbling about God and his belief that Dep would survive anything. 

Taking a step back, he noticed his friends had gathered behind him. He turned back to Addie and grinned, giggling through his tears.

“Oh hon, it’s alright now. Everything’s okay.  Shhh ...” Addie stroked his cheek and kissed the side of his head. Jerome patted his shoulder. “We’re together again, darlin’. Come on now, let’s say hello to everybody.”

She managed to pry Rook’s hands from her sides and he took the hint to move to the side. He watched as his friends took his place, hugging and chatting with the two. The rest of the people in the cars were locals Rook didn’t know but recognised from the  Henbane region, still he shook their hands and accepted their greetings with a teary smile. 

Joseph brought him back to the table and they watched as Adelaide  walked around and hugged everybody, laughing and holding her tears back. Jerome seemed to be handling the reunion better, keeping up his warm smile as he shook hands. They were both hesitant to come to Rook’s table  where two thirds of the Seeds sat  but little Carmina convinced them.

Kim wordlessly took her child back from John, only to pass her on to Addie. The baby girl cooed and babbled enough to break the unspoken tension of sitting close to the very-much alive Seeds. It wasn’t much of a shock since they’d been warned and had seen Jacob already. Still, Addie wasn’t quite ready to shake any Seed hands, let alone hug them. Despite how flooded with joy she was, she wasn’t delusional. 

“The rumours were true then,” Jerome said, taking a seat next to Rook so he could watch  Adelaide bounce Carmina on her lap. “Your family survived.” He glanced to Joseph and ignored the arm he had around Rook’s back. 

“Yes, God tested our faith and our strength and we passed his trials.” Joseph was polite but his tone was dry. He and the pastor never got along, not since the first day he walked into Fall’s End’s church and found it lacking. 

“How much of your cult still exists?”

“Jerome, not now,” Addie interrupted with a frown. She hadn’t changed much except she was thinner and gaunter than before. Her hair was tied back more firmly but her clothes were clean. The green  checkered blouse was unbuttoned quite far down but her white camisole made her look half-decent for the occasion.

“I want to know. Not all of us have had the chance to see the change in the county.”

“The Project remains strong,” Joseph answered. “Though many of our brothers and sisters were lost to the fires.”

Jerome had the decency to bow his head. “I’m sorry. Regardless of our dispositions, it is always saddening to lose your own.”

A  thick silence that fell on the table. Neither of the Seeds were prepared for such words but Joseph took it well. “Thank you. We can only pray that they have found peace with our Lord.”

Jerome nodded and stood. “If you’ll excuse me, I did come here for the food. Shall I bring you a plate, my dear?” 

Heads turned to Addie and she blushed. “Sure, hon. You know what I like.”

Once Jerome was out of ear-shot, Rook leaned across the table. He’d gotten over his emotions and was grinning at Adelaide. “My dear?”

Her face became darker and she looked away. “Yeah, well, you know how it is. People trapped together have to find ways of-” She rolled her wrist and gestured vaguely. “Surviving and fulfilling needs.”

Rook’s grin only grew wider, with more teeth. “Uh huh, so you just happened to find a bunker together?”

“No, it wasn’t like that. I wasn’t with him then, it was later when I found the campgrounds. We just gravitated towards each other. I still get around, I’m not settled down like some post-apocalyptic suburban housewife or  anythin ’. He’s nice, he takes care of me. Plus you know I have a thing for priests-” 

As if she was remembering where she was and who was sat with her, she glanced at Joseph and noticed he seemed uncomfortable. John was snickering beside Kim, watching his brother’s face drop and pale.

“Oh, I don’t mean-”

“It’s alright, you’re not the only one shacked up with a holy man,” Rook said with a laugh, patting Joseph’s shoulder. “I’m pretty certain the whole county knows by now except you guys, but we’re dating. For a good while now.”

“I’m going to grab something to eat,” Kim suddenly said, taking her child back and heading to the grill. 

“I think Nick wanted me to help him with the plane,” John lied, grinning ear to ear and happy to leave his brother suffering in embarrassment. He knew all about Adelaide  Drubman and her sins, she was always eager to chat his ear off on his door-to-door converting visits. 

“Bullshit,” Rook flat-toned, unimpressed as John bolted away snickering like a schoolboy. He did actually go to Nick, leaving him, Joseph , and Adelaide at the table together. “ So. ..”

“I’ll be honest, I thought you’d go for the other one. No offence, Joseph.” Adelaide didn’t look very  sorry, her  smirk wasn’t helping her seem apologetic at all. 

“He has , ” Joseph added, feeling a bit more comfortable without the listening crowd. He wasn’t comfortable blurting out his personal life to others, not when it didn’t play into his narrative and this certainly wasn’t for public consumption. This was just one person, though, and he could live with that. Plus there was no stopping Rook’s endless stream of words when he started talking. He was bound to blurt it out at some point.

“But-”

Rook cleared his throat. “I, uh, took a page out of your book, Addie. Polygamy and all that shit. I’m dating both of them.”

Addie blushed again but it wasn’t from embarrassment. She raised a well-plucked brow. “Oh, really? Aren’t you a lucky  boy. ”

“I am. Very. I love them both very much.” Rook leaned to the side and kissed Joseph’s cheek, startling the disgruntled preacher. The frown melted off and he smiled softly.

“I love you too,” he mumbled bashfully, entwining their fingers on the table.

“Aww, honey, that’s so cute. I wish you all the best, I truly do. It  ain’t easy trying to find someone these days.”

The men nodded but Adelaide was quickly distracted from their lovey-dovey gazing by the girls’ table waving her over . “Excuse me, boys, but I  oughta chat with the ladies too. I’ll catch you later, Dep. Joseph.” 

She rounded the table and leaned down to hug Rook before making her way over to Grace and Mary May. There was a chorus of hollers and cheers, likely fuelled by the bartender’s gifted alcohol.

“I’m glad she gave us her blessing,” Rook mumbled, resting his head on Joseph’s shoulder. The preacher tilted his head down too. 

“You seem very close to her.”

“She’s the closest person I have to a mom or an aunt.” Rook had hardly spoken to anyone about what happened to his family or what had brought him to Hope County. Earl and Staci knew, Jacob had snippets from his research, and that was about it. “My mom died when I was fifteen, she was pregnant too. Broke my dad’s heart. I didn’t really know her that well, she was always busy and out the house. Adelaide  kinda acts like a mom, she’s always nagging and taking care of me. Teaching me stuff my mom never bothered to do.”

“She cares about you, I can see it. Perhaps you should tell her how you feel.”

Joseph only had the best intentions in mind but Rook knew he couldn’t admit that. It was the same as telling Earl he was a better father to him than Rook’s actual dad. He couldn’t say it but he hoped he made them proud either way.

“Maybe someday. I’m just glad they’re both alive and well.”

Joseph kissed the top of his head and curled up closer. 

\---

Disappearing from the party wasn’t easy, not when people wanted to chat with Staci. When he got through all the questions, whether it was about the police or even  friendly check ups on his day to day, he snuck around to one of the garages on the Rye’s landing strip. Although Nick prided himself on Carmina, he had a couple others in storage f rom his old teaching job. 

Staci opened the side door into the last one and could hardly see in the dark. The sunshine was making a long line through the doorway, cut out by his shadow, and he spotted a plane sitting under a tarp.

“Alex?”

He’d definitely seen the Chosen enter this building. He entered and shut the door, enclosing the garage in complete darkness. 

“Alex, where are you?”

“Why don’t you come find me?” The Chosen said, his voice coming from the left. It was a game, one that Staci knew he could win. “Follow my voice. That’s it.”

Staci guided himself with a hand against the wall. He bumped his leg noisily into a table but kept going despite Alex’s giggles. He thought he was in the far corner but he was proved wrong.

“Can you say something?”

“You’re a twat.”

Staci rolled his eyes. “Thanks.” Still, he had a feeling Alex was moving around. He couldn’t hear his footsteps, though. 

“You’re getting warmer,” he sing- songed sweetly, giggling when Staci smacked  his side  into the wing of the plane and groaned. “Warmer, warmer...”

“Stop moving.”

“Make me.”

Staci was certain he’d walked the whole perimeter of the room and managed not to hit too many tables and toolboxes. He heard a scuffle and metal skidding across the concrete floor , likely a kicked wrench or spanner . Alex was just in front of him, and clearly he could see Staci in the dark. All that training and Bliss was giving him a superhuman advantage. 

“Oh, you’re burning up, Stace.”

Fabric rustled and Alex took his shirt off, throwing it to the side by the door. The sunlight was a thin line beneath it, Staci’s only landmark in the dark. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, his hands finding the wheeled table for Nick’s tools and allowing him to manoeuvre around it carefully. 

“Come find out. You’re so close.”

Staci reached with his fingers spread, opening to come in contact. He was met with air.

“You’re so hot, Stace. So close.”

Staci snorted and kept walking steadily. His eyesight wasn’t improving but his hearing was. He was starting to hear Alex’s steps  but the man had taken off his boots to sneak around better. The wall was just in front of him and he reached out again, this time his fingers brushed bare skin. Alex moved in a flash, gone the next second before Staci could celebrate his victory.

“Oh, you almost had me. Try harder.”

“I’m going to catch you.”

“Turn to your right.” Staci obeyed, and heard Alex hit the plane softly, the metal noisy as he climbed on the wing . “Keep going. Stop. Now reach out.”

Staci hoped he wasn’t going to be tricked but true enough he touched warm skin. His fingers brushed coarse hair and trailed just a tad lower. Alex was grinning in the dark.

“You gave me your dick.” Staci wanted to laugh but it felt good in his palm. Still soft and small but his touches were only encouraging Alex to harden slowly.

“It’s your prize. You found me.” 

Staci figured out that Alex was sitting on the wing which was the right height for him to push Alex back to make him lie down . Stroking his hip and thigh , he realised the Chosen had discarded all clothing and was lying entirely naked on the wing. 

“I want to see you,” Staci mumbled, parting Alex’s legs so he could lean down between them and kiss the Chosen. He grinded his denim-covered cock against Alex’s ass. 

“There’s no light in here. No power. Still, we can fuck like this. If that’s okay.”

Staci grinned against his lips and rolled his hips. His hand trailed down the back of Alex’s soft thigh to his ass, dragging a finger over his hole. The Chosen shivered and pushed back on it.

“Do you have stuff on you?” Staci asked, not wanting to fuck bareback with just saliva. 

“In my jeans. It’s next to me on the floor.”

Staci knelt down and found them, grabbing a squeezy tube of lube and a couple condoms. He didn’t question how long Alex had been planning this but it was the only time they had free without duties or time limits. He uncapped the tube and squirted it out onto his fingers, wetting the hole on the outside.

“You certain?”

“Yeah, do me first.” 

“What do you mean?”

Alex wrapped his long legs around Staci’s hips and dragged him closer, causing the finger teasing him to push past the tight muscles. 

“Oh fuck...” Alex whimpered as Staci moved his finger in deeper and started a very slow rhythm. “That’s good. I- I meant, there’s two condoms. I was hoping I could fuck you after. If you’re okay with that, I just thought since we have some alone time it would be worth it.”

Staci blushed furiously and he was glad for the darkness. Not even Alex’s supernatural eyesight could see the flush on his cheeks and neck. He kept stretching the Chosen, which wasn’t very difficult from how often he had sex with his teammates. It still felt special to Staci to have Alex do this, even if they weren’t together or ever spoke about more than their past and kissed each other in the woods.

“I’m okay with that but it’s been a while.”

“I’ll be gentle, I promise. But fuck me first. Please, I want you, Staci.” 

Staci kissed him softly, moving his lips and tongue in time with Alex until the Chosen was a melted, moaning mess squirming on his fingers. He’d used the kiss to distract him from the second finger and Alex hadn’t even noticed or felt a single twinge of pain. 

“I love how tight you are, so fucking warm and wet...” Staci swallowed Alex’s high pitched moan when he curled his fingers up, rubbing the nerves with a firm touch. Pressed almost chest to chest, Alex’s cock twitched desperately against Staci and he loved how it felt. Precum was soaking into his shirt and even if it was black, it would stain. Staci pulled back reluctantly to yank it off and Alex greedily groped his arms and back as fingers returned inside .

“Feels so fucking good, Stace. Come on, I can take it. Fuck me, please.”

“You can’t cum, remember? You wanted to fuck me too.”

Alex groaned and sighed. “By the time you’re stretched out, I’ll be hard again. Trust me.”

Staci chuckled and pecked his lips twice before pulling back to unbuckle his belt. He was incredibly hard, his cock leaking through the thin fabric of his boxers, and it stood proudly as he pulled each leg free from the tight jeans. He dumped them close by, not wanting to hunt them in the dark. 

Maybe Alex really could see in the dark because his hand went straight for his cock. He’d gotten hold of one condom and wanted to stroke Staci before rolling it on. Staci bucked into his fist and let him ready his cock, slicking it with the lube eagerly before dragging Staci closer again. 

“Come here, gorgeous. I want you so bad.”

Staci felt his heart skip and he was glad he had support beneath him. Something about the sweet words and the honesty he heard behind them made him lose balance. He glanced down where he thought Alex’s eyes were, wanting nothing more than to see him in the light. 

He pushed the head of his cock past the ring and Alex gasped, adjusting just for a moment before pushing back against it. Staci sank deeper, holding Alex’s thighs apart and using them to drag the Chosen closer until his hips met his ass. He settled for a moment and blindly reached out to pat Alex’s cheek, making the man laugh breathlessly.

“Oh fuck, that’s so good. You can move, I really don’t need to adjust,” Alex reassured him, squeezing his arm and holding on tight as Staci started a rhythm. Slow drags out and sharp thrusts back that slammed the air out of Alex’s lungs and made Staci’s arms tremble from the effort. He loved every second of it, bringing the Chosen closer to the edge.

His whimpers grew louder and higher as he threw his head back and his legs tightened around Staci’s hips. “Fuck, fuck, fuck...”

“God, you’re so  hot , Alex. I’m  gonna cum soon. You close?”

Alex nodded wildly. “Yes, fuck, touch my cock. I’ m like right there.” 

Staci untangled himself and brought a hand down to jerk Alex off. He closed his fist around the soaked head and stroked him firmly, rubbing his thumb across the slit. Alex’s back arched gracefully and Staci picked up the pace, matching his thrusts and strokes until Alex came hard over his fist.

“Fuck, fuck, Staci,  nghh fuuuuuck .....” Alex panted loudly, his voice wavering in pitch as he spilled cum on Staci’s fingers and his stomach, shooting thick ropes. His body clamped down with his release and Staci wasn’t prepared as he pushed back in to be met with such tightness. 

“Yes,  _ yes _ . I’m  ahhh -” Staci pulled Alex closer just as he came, making the younger man whimper and clench down. He stilled for a moment and moved in and out slowly, teasing the last seconds of pleasure in Alex’s amazingly tight ass. He pulled out slowly, already missing the tight heat even if his cock was over-sensitised. The condom came off and he tied it with shaking fingers before hiding the evidence in his jean pocket.

“Goddamn that was good,” Alex breathed out with a weak laugh. Lying on the wing was the best option knowing his legs would fail him if he tried to stand.

Staci laid down next to him and prayed the plane could handle their combined weight. It wasn’t creaking or protesting so far but he moved gingerly. His hand found Alex’s and held it tight and close to his heart, which beat furiously as he gulped in air.

“Still have enough energy to fuck me?”

Alex laughed and sighed. “Not really. You  kinda blew my mind. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m too tired anyways. Next time.”

“Yeah, next time.” Alex leaned over Staci and kissed him softly, cradling his stubbled cheek and dragging his thumb over the sharp bones. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, thanks for everything. You know, being nice to me, screwing my brains out- I've... You’re the first person I’ve ever been so close to and we’ve only known each other for two months.”

Alex pulled away so he could start finding his clothes. His legs buckled and he winced at the ache, but pushed through it to find his cargos. Maybe throwing his clothes around the room wasn’t the cleverest idea.

“It’s been a pretty fun two months with you. Hope it goes on for a lot longer.” Staci sat upright and grabbed his jeans and shirt, finding the label to make sure he wasn’t putting it on back-to-front. He heard Alex move around the  hangar . “I can talk to you, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I mean- we are talking right now.” Alex chuckled as he found his boots by stumbling into them gracelessly. At least Staci didn’t see it. “Of course, you can tell me anything. I take it there’s something on your mind.”

Staci finished dressing and found Alex in the dark, reaching out blindly and touching his back with his outstretched hand. He caressed the Chosen’s shoulders as he passed by, going for the door. He winced and shielded his eyes from the sun. Alex hissed behind him and together they exited and found the cover of large oak trees to adjust to the brightness. 

Staci pulled him down to the ground, sitting on the cool grass. He flicked Alex’s chest, gesturing at the logo on his back.

“Wrong way, dumbass.”

Alex glanced down and quickly yanked his arms back in and adjusted the shirt with a blush. “Oops. So, what did you want to tell me?”

Staci grabbed a handful of grass and ripped it out, shaking them off his fingers as he watched the dust swirl up on the runway. Alex nudged him with an elbow after a minute.

“The department won’t take me back as a Deputy. I’m not fit for duty apparently,” he admitted quietly, wishing the words were lies and he could put the uniform back on. He still had it, along with his badge.

“But you were out there looking for Herald John and your friend, you more than proved yourself.”

“I know. It’s Hudson. A few months back, I attacked her. Didn’t mean to, I blacked out, thought it was like another trial. She wasn’t hurt too bad but she doesn’t trust me anymore. She thinks I’m like a bomb, never know when I’m going to kill someone. She’s right but I thought I was doing better, like all I needed was a chance and now I can’t do anything.”

“Uh, Stace?” 

Staci glanced up from the torn up grass to Alex, who was watching Jacob just on the edge of the trees. From how close he was standing, he must have heard everything. Staci shrugged and Jacob took it as invitation to come closer and sit down cross-legged in front of them.

“You’ve both been gone a while.” His tone wasn’t accusatory but he held Alex’s gaze until the Chosen looked away with his head down. 

“Don’t, Jacob,” Staci warned. “I’m not in the mood to fight.”

“I’m not looking for a fight. So, you got booted out? You’re certain?”

Staci frowned. “Hudson won’t even tell me how far along they are in restoring  the department . They don’t want me around anymore but they can’t be fucked to tell it to my face.” He turned away back to the runway, clutching more grass. “I wanted to be a cop again so bad.”

“Can’t you give them time?” Alex asked, his voice small and reduced around Jacob. “Surely they’ll see they need you.”

“And sit around doing nothing all day and hope Earl changes his mind? No, thanks.” 

Jacob hummed. “No point wasting time. Come work for me. I could use all the help I can get and you’re more than capable.”

Staci dropped the grass but some blades stuck to his fingers. He picked them off lazily. “And do what? Brainwash more people into soldiers? No thanks to that either .”

Alex observed the twitch in Jacob’s face, like he was refraining from aggression, and he wasn’t sure who he’d defend if it came to blows. He stayed quiet, his knee barely touching Staci’s but he hoped it was enough contact to keep the ex-Deputy calm. 

“The trials don’t exist anymore, the resistance made sure of that when we allied,” Jacob explained. “There’s plenty to be done in the Whitetails. Hunting, scavenging, training the younger ones on how to survive in this new world. Rook was helping me until he got attacked. I’ve taken up the slack but I don’t have enough people. I need teachers, someone patient and focused.”

“I’m not a teacher.”

“You can learn like the rest of us.” He sighed and leaned back, his hands supporting him. He glanced to Alex before returning his gaze to Staci. “T here’s something else. T his is an early-stage plan but I want to start building settlements out in the Henbane and reinforcing the ones already existing. For that, I’ll need supplies that we simply don’t have in the county. That means clearing the tunnels and searching the rest of the neighbouring counties. I need guys for that too.”

Staci stopped destroying the grass and looked up. “Why do we need reinforcements?”

“It’s better to be safe than sorry. The world is getting back on track, John told me he saw lights at night beyond the mountains. That means survivors, and  survivors equal looters. If they decide to start searching around same as us, how quickly do you think it will take for them to decide they want what we have? We have the guns, sure, but the settlements have no walls or defences.”

Staci had to agree with him. Sooner or later, they’d make contact and there would be no way of knowing if the strangers are friendly.  The Den was a hole in the ground and the centre had walls, but the town was open from every angle and the ranch could easily be overrun.

“Have you mentioned this to Whitehorse?” 

“Not yet. I’m sure you can understand this is a plan that needs a lot of thought. Plus do you think I can mention the idea of walls and defence to the Sheriff and not raise suspicion?” 

“Considering what happened to Rook and John, it would make sense. Even if the threat’s gone, that doesn’t mean Rook doesn’t have a target on his back. Still, I get it. So, what, you want me to leave the county with you?  Or t each some locals which mushrooms not to eat?”

Jacob chuckled softly. “I was hoping you’d stick around and learn how the place runs these days. It’s a bit different from your last visit.” He ignored Staci’s glare. “I want to be the one leading the expedition beyond our county but I can’t just let the centre fall apart. Every group needs a leader.”

Staci swallowed. “You want... I don’t think I follow.” He glanced to Alex but the younger man was shell-shocked from Jacob’s admission.

“I want you to run the centre for me.  Ain’t nobody else I trust more than my family and you. Rook’s head isn’t in it, he’s fine teaching but leading a region’s a step too far. John knows nothing about the Whitetails and Joseph’s got his hands full already. That leaves you, pup.”

“What about Alex? What about every other Chosen you’ve got?”

Alex shook his head immediately and mumbled, “I don’t want to lead.” 

“Only you, Staci. You’re the only one I trust enough for that.” Jacob was smiling but it wasn’t obvious to the untrained eye , there was just a small tilt to the corner of his lips. It was his eyes that informed Staci the soldier was serious. It was a job offer, he just had to say yes.

“And if I don’t want to?”

Jacob shrugged, like they were discussing a trip to Walmart instead of the whole Herald gig he seemed to want to pass on like some sort of legacy. Maybe  that was the point . Staci didn’t know Jacob well enough to figure out his motives even if some days it felt like he knew the man’s mind as well as his own.

“Then I’ll  be forced to  find someone else but they won’t do a good enough job. Pratt, you know how I run my ship. You took notes for me and I know you remember them. You don’t have to give me your answer now, I’ve thrown this on you, after all, and you’ve got a good while before I can get this plan into action. In the meantime, though, you’re out of a job and I need workers.”

He was right and he knew just what to say to convince Staci. Without the police department, he had nothing but an empty apartment and two friends who had busy lives. He could sit on his ass until Jacob’s plan was greenlit but Staci wasn’t a lazy teen anymore. He couldn’t do nothing; his mind was rewired to work and fill his time meaningfully. The condition ing wasn’t involved, it had been Earl who’d taught him that the first week as a Deputy. If he wanted a good life, he’d have to work for it or be left wondering where his time went and regretting it all on his death bed. A harsh lesson but Staci had needed to hear it, even if he didn’t always apply it.

Staci  ignored Jacob’s impatient gaze and glanced at Alex for a brief moment . “I’ll help you on some conditions.”

Jacob sighed and lifted a hand for Staci to speak. He watched the Chosen too but Alex stayed quiet, unsure of what was unrolling and whether he should interrupt the silent power dispute between the two men. 

“Alex gets time away from his duties. He gets to leave his squad and do his own thing, and you’re going to let him.”

The Chosen wanted to sink into the ground under Jacob’s scrutinising glare but he remained still, like prey that didn’t want to be spotted. Maybe if he played dead, the wolf would go away. 

“Fine.”

Staci nodded. “Good. Next thing, I don’t answer to you, the Project, or Joseph. I’m doing this because I want to. I’m not wearing that cross either, I don’t need to lose more of my friends because they think I’m a  Peggie . Thirdly, I’ll keep my apartment but if I do have to stay at the centre I get my own room. With locks.”

Jacob looked like he was contemplating the job offer  in the first place  but he nodded. “Sure, but you’ll still obey the system I have in place. I’m not letting you run around and do whatever you like. Other than that, I agree to your terms.”

“Fine. In that case,” Staci held out his grass and dirt -stained hand for Jacob to shake, “I’ll come work at the centre with you.”

Jacob smiled and shook his hand, firm and warm and filling Staci with a mixture of dread and hope. What if he was making the wrong choice? Still, he had no better options that came to mind, nothing that would make use of his skills and time. 

“Good. Welcome aboard, pup.” Jacob pulled his hand back and settled his elbows on his knees, hands limp in his lap as he leaned forward and grinned with too many teeth. “So, how many guesses do I get for what you were doing in that hangar?”

Staci blushed and yanked his hand back. “It’s none of your business.”

Alex was in the same state of embarrassment, looking down at the ground so he could avoid Jacob’s lecherous gaze. 

“You’re sleeping around with one of my Chosen, it’s  kinda my business.” Jacob reached over and tapped Alex’s knee, forcing him to look up. “When were you going to tell me?”

“I-”

“He doesn’t have to tell you shit, Jacob,” Staci spit, grabbing Alex’s hand possessively. The Chosen flinched.

“Actually, he does since he’s sleeping with me too. Your sweetheart isn’t yours exclusively. So that presents a problem. Is he yours or is he mine? Or are you going to make us share, Whit?” 

Alex cowered under their stares and pulled his hand out of Staci’s grip, watching both of them warily. “I... uh, do I get a say here? I don’t want to upset anyone.” 

He’d recoiled away enough to make Jacob drop his grin and fill with concern. The soldier reached out and laid a hand on his knee.  He knew Alex hated being the centre of attention. 

“Hey, you do what you want. You know I won’t force you. What we have is fun but if it’s not what you want...”

Staci tried not to show his panic but he knew his eyes were betraying him. He didn’t want to lose Alex, not fighting  for him against Jacob and not when they were just starting out. In that moment, he realised he wanted more than the stolen moments in the woods and he wasn’t prepared to give that up. Maybe it was God’s grace or just sheer, stupid luck but Alex didn’t want to give that up either.

“I don’t want to choose,” he said on an exhale after a long, painful minute. He reached out and touched what he could reach of both men. Jacob’s scarred hand and Staci’s toned forearm. “Please don’t make me.”

“I can share,” Jacob admitted with a tiny smile. He loved winning. Even if he came away with half, it was better than none at all. 

They both looked at Staci expectantly, praying he would agree and not fight further. Staci’s sins were Sloth and Greed for a reason and he wanted Alex all to himself, so much so that he was putting Alex on the verge of trouble every time. Whether it was the patrols or trying to pull him away from duty, there was always the inevitability that the consequences would come crashing down on them and Alex would be the one to suffer. Jacob was winning, of course, but Staci understood that Alex was making his own choice too. He was loyal to a fault but there was no pulling Alex from Jacob’s grip, not when the Chosen wanted to be there in the first place. Staci was the outcast, trying to change Alex, and he could either walk away from the Chosen or accept that Alex didn’t wholly belong to him and he likely never would. 

“Staci, please. Don’t make me choose...” Alex mumbled, his fingers squeezing tight. 

Staci smiled weakly. “It’s okay, you don’t have to. I can share too.”

“Thank you,  _ thank you _ .” Alex hugged him and Staci held him close, closing his eyes just to forget Jacob was right there. The Chosen pulled away and surprised them all by hugging Jacob as well. From the shock on the Herald’s face, it wasn’t a common thing between them but he still embraced the much younger man in his  enormous arms.  Alex was such a small man he was easily dwarfed by Jacob. 

Alex let go with a nervous chuckle but it turned into giggles. He was allowing himself to relax and be his normal self even around Jacob, which was new for both of them. 

“We should get back to the party. We’ve all been gone a long time,” Jacob stated as he stood up with a groan and brushed dirt off his jeans. Despite John’s arguments, he did own some clean, un-ripped clothes. His brother was just refusing to admit that Jacob looked good in a well-fitting grey tee, and wanted to stuff him into his fancy costumes instead.

He held out his hands, pulling both Staci and Alex up simultaneously and effortlessly. Seeing that display of strength reminded Staci of the times Jacob had easily carried him around the centre or fucked him up against a wall when they were too far from a bed. Even if half an hour before he’d blown his load, he could feel warmth tingling its interest. Judging from the blush creeping up Alex’s throat, he was enjoying be ing manhandled too.

They walked back to the party, joining in for the last hour before everybody started packing up and heading home. Staci stayed with Alex so they could walk back together and hopefully drive to the apartment at last. 

As the Ryes bid goodbye to their last guests, Staci saw that Rook was already halfway up the road with Joseph and John beside him. A few people stayed behind to clean up the mess but Jacob encouraged them to leave. He ended up walking back with Alex between them, unsure of whether this arrangement would work or go down in flames. Staci was certainly tangling himself up deep, just like Rook. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No watery mac n cheese allowed in the comments!


	51. The Arsonist

Rook held Joseph’s hand the whole way back to the ranch. He felt invigorated from the party, from seeing his friends alive and well and being able to talk and drink with them for hours. The sun would set soon, the shadows they cast were long and thin. His body was tired and aching in places but all he needed was some rest and he’d be good to go. 

He glanced over his shoulder and saw the  Peggie s following from a distance. John was among them, his arm linked to Charlotte as they chatted. He was too far away to hear their conversation but John seemed happy too. Rook turned his head towards Joseph and gave him a little smile.

“Today went better than I expected,” the preacher admitted, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand. He missed his sunglasses. 

“Yeah, it really did. I’m so glad everyone got along, even if it’s just for one day. It’s better than nothing. No fights broke out which is impressive.” 

“It seems like you have a talent for bringing people together.”

Rook shrugged. “It was Nick and Kim’s party, not mine.”

Joseph sighed and leaned to the side to kiss Rook’s head. Not an easy task when walking. “You know what I mean.” He pulled back, just reaching the very end of the driveway. “Rook?  Do you k now anybody who owns horses?”

“What?” Rook turned his attention to the ranch and raised a brow. “Uh, no?”

Three horses were tied to trees by their reins, saddled but one was used to carry supplies and bags though they had been stripped off. Rook carefully approached the nearest one, a grey speckled mare grazing on the grass growing at the roots of a tree. It allowed him to gently drag his hand down its neck. He smiled and pet it again before walking up to the ranch doors. 

Heading inside with Joseph, Rook froze in the entrance at the sight of  Sharky on the couch. He’d grown out his hair and his beard  was far more unkept than before . H is green hoodie was tied around his waist. Sharky glanced up and stood, noticing Joseph and not wanting to bolt straight to Rook. Only the Deputy didn’t give him much of a choice.

“ Sharky ??” Rook crossed the space between them in an instant and threw his arms around the pyromaniac with a laugh. 

“What’s up, Popo?”  Sharky held him tight, ignoring Joseph for a moment as he dragged a hand up into Rook’s hair and positioned his head against his chest. Rook exhaled softly and melted in his arms, pulling back after a minute but holding on to his tattooed arms. “Been a while, Dep. How you been?”

Rook laughed, his eyes prickling as he took in the sight. “It’s a really long story but I’m doing so much better now you’re here.”

Joseph walked up cautiously and  Sharky bowed his head. “Sorry about just showing up  outta the blue, your guards let us in.”

“Us?” Rook repeated, glancing over at Joseph. The preacher had steeled his expression, unreadable but calm. 

“Oh, yeah,  Hurky’s here with me. He’s somewhere around, said he wanted a tour. I found him after all. Long story too. Is it alright if we stick around tonight, just to catch up? I don’t  wanna step on any toes.” He looked at Joseph when he said that.

Joseph stepped closer and put a hand on Rook’s shoulder, pulling him aside so he could stand in front of  Sharky . Rook made a complaintive noise, hoping Joseph wasn’t about to start an argument. He hadn’t spoken about the pyro for so long but that didn’t mean the wounds had healed. 

Joseph reached out and embraced  Sharky . “It’s good to have you back. Please stay as long as you like.”

He took a step back but  Sharky wasn’t having it, hugging him again more forcefully so their chests slammed and winded Joseph. Still, he held on as  Sharky patted his back. 

“I don’t know what the fuck I’ve missed to get a welcome like this but it's good to see you too, man.”

“Holy Christ! Dep, is that you?”  Hurk shouted from the staircase, waving frantically to get his attention. The poor  Peggie next to him winced and refrained from covering his ears.  Hurk ran down the stairs and barrelled past the furniture to yank Rook into a bone-crushing hug. “Oh fuck, amigo, I missed you so much.  Sharky told me you were alive but look at you! You look good, man, minus the scrapes. The apocalypse is treating you well.”

Rook managed to free himself from  Hurk’s arms, though it was difficult.  Hurk didn’t want to let go. “I missed you too,  Hurk . Hey, umm, I know this is already pretty emotional but your mom’s alive. I saw her today.”

Hurk stopped smiling and he fell quiet, barely holding onto Rook’s arm. “For real?”

“She’s fine, living in a big settlement in the Henbane. I’ve got the radio frequency if you want to talk to her. She might get back tonight. We had this big party at the Ryes.”

“Aww, we missed the barbeque?”  Sharky whined. “Goddammit. Told  ya we should’ve taken the east road. We would’ve gone right past it. Ah, next time I guess.”

Hurk sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “I’d really appreciate that, Dep. We, uh, got separated when the bombs fell and I didn’t wait long enough to see who was alive.”

“A lot of people survived. Way more than we could’ve imagined. It’s okay, you’ll have time to see everybody.” Rook hugged him and  Hurk didn’t crush him this time, for which he was grateful because his wounds were stinging. “Why don’t we all sit down and talk? It’s been a pretty emotional day for all of us.”

Jacob and John were standing just a  ways off, watching the scene, and Rook went to find food and drinks for their guests. When he came back, John was clutching onto  Sharky and promising they’d talk in private later. Rook sat down, curled up under Joseph’s arm, with John on his right, so he could face his friends. Jacob stayed long enough to say hello before he headed out again, Staci and the Chosen right at his heels.

The sun was long gone by the time Rook had filled his friends in on the last months, telling them everything from his relationships to the attacks and kidnappings. He talked about who was alive and where they lived, what the county had achieved in such short time and what the alliance had brought them. The  Peggie s lived in general harmony with the rest of the population, which threw both  Sharky and  Hurk off but they quickly understood. 

Rook learned that  Hurk had taken refuge in the mines in the Henbane and thought the county wasn’t worth staying in, so he left. He kept walking for months, crossing county and state borders with the help of stolen cars and a few other survivors along the way. He’d never stayed in one settlement for long, scavenged what he could from the remains of the old world until he finally found home in an old amusement park. 

“Used to go there on holiday during the summer. Took  Sharky a few times to hit up the arcade and roller coasters,” he explained, talking about how he found a group there and became their leader. Rook was a little doubtful. “Man, the rides were all useless but I  woulda given my left arm to go on the Super Slammer one more time and feel the wind on my chest hair.  Ain’t no park rules saying I  gotta wear clothes anymore.” 

That’s where he ended up finding  Sharky , scouting the group for potential allies. To both their annoyance, they had been to the exact same places just weeks apart. It hadn’t taken long for  Sharky to convince him to go back to Hope County. Taking the horses,  Hurk didn’t say with or without permission, they took the long road back to Montana and reached the mountains just before the beginning of June.

Sharky was given his old room back upstairs and John gave him a hand carrying his belongings.  Hurk was given the room next door but he was too busy radioing his mom, so it left them both alone.

“Man, I miss my bed. I’ve slept on pallets, dirt, concrete, and half-eaten bedroll for months. I’m  gonna sleep for the whole day and nothing’s  gonna wake me.”  Sharky dropped his bag just beside the bed and unlaced his boots, kicking them away. His socks had holes and his jeans were a completely different shade of blue under the leather boots. 

John closed the door behind him, standing uncomfortably in front of  Sharky . The last time he’d been in this room was the night  Sharky had left. Judging by the look in the pyro’s eyes, he was thinking about it too.

“I want to apologise for what I said,” John began, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. “I was angry and hurt and I never meant those words. I was wrong to say such things and I’m sorry.”

Sharky shook his head and stood. “It’s cool, man.  You were just defending your family.  I fucked up. Trust me, I’ve had plenty of time to think about it and I should be the one apologising. I hurt you pretty bad. I led you on and all that, didn’t help one bit. So, I’m sorry too.” He held out a dirty hand, mud caked under his nails that he hadn’t had the time to wash off. John ignored that. “Can we still be friends?”

John didn’t hesitant to shake it. “Yes.”

“Good. Now, I’m going to grab a shower because I am ripe and there’s no hot water out on the road. Best I could do was wash in the river and I almost got bit by a huge  alligator , so yeah. I need it.” Sharky turned back to grab his bag and then thought otherwise. “You know what? All my clothes are dirty and stink so I think I’ll skip it and just sleep naked.”

Sharky continued to ramble to himself and John began chuckling. “It’s good to have you back,  Boshaw .”

“ I’m happy to be back too, you know. I just d on’t know how long I’m  gonna stay, especially with  Hurk .”  Sharky rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Don’t you want to live here?” John was certain he’d stay. The ranch was better than any other place in the county, plus he was here. He wasn’t expecting  Sharky to jump in his arms or even pick up where they left off, but still...

“Course I do. It’s just not up to me. I don’t want to start a fight with Joseph again, let alone lose Rook, so I’m just  gonna play it safe.” 

“Right.”

Sharky walked over and rested a hand on John’s shoulder. “Hey, man, I’m back for good. I’m not leaving the county again. Don’t look so sad, you’re  gonna make me sad and then I’ll cry and I’ve managed to keep up this manly bravado so far so I won’t have you ruin it by being sad. Got it?”

John chuckled weakly. “I think so.”

“Good. I’ll see you in the morning, John.” 

“Oh, I...” 

Sharky squeezed his shoulder, and smiled. “I  kinda want to be alone tonight, man. It’s been a rough time and I haven’t had any privacy for months. Look, we can talk about whatever this is,” he gestured vaguely between them, “some other time. I promise. I just need a break from sharing a bed every night cause that’s all I’ve been doing with  Hurk and my back can’t handle being crushed and rolled up any longer. The man is an octopus on steroids. Plus he snores like a damn tractor. Peace and quiet isn’t something I’ve known for a while. ”

John nodded, strands of hair falling into his eyes as the gel lost its grip over the long day.  Sharky reached up and brushed it back, lingering over his cheek before thinking better and pulling away. 

“Sleep well ,  Boshaw .”

“You too, Seed.” 

John retreated and shut the door with a soft click. He breathed out a shaky sigh and headed down to the bunker where he could cling to Rook and let Joseph rub circles on his back. Today had been more than emotional ly overwhelming for all of them and he needed comfort. On his way to the bunker he heard  Drubman on the radio.

“-visit when I can. I’m so glad you’re okay, mom, I never stopped thinking bout you. I love you so much. Yeah, you sleep well. I’ll see you soon. Goodnight mom.”

\---

Rook laid for most of the night staring up at the dark ceiling listening to the chugging ventilation and the combined breathing of the Seed siblings. John was curled up beside him, his back flush to Rook’s side, with a pillow trapped in his arms and the blanket pulled over his head. Joseph slept with his head on Rook’s shoulder, his breath warm and damp on his neck. At least, Rook thought he was asleep.

“You should get some rest,” Joseph mumbled tiredly, his arm wrapped around Rook’s waist posses s ively . 

“He’s just upstairs. He’s home.” 

Joseph knew who he was talking about and held him tighter. He’d stayed calm the whole evening but inside the fear and the regret was building up and clawing at his heart. He’d never given up the search, asked his followers if they caught sight of the pyromaniac on their runs, but he’d never expected  Sharky to just turn up. Technically, he was still banned from the premises but Joseph pointedly ignored that fact so he could catch some sleep. Otherwise, he would be up all night thinking about why .

“Are you alright?” He asked, kissing Rook’s neck. They’d had sex earlier with John providing some help with his hands, and Rook had passed out for a couple minutes from the over-stimulation. There were still love bites on his exposed skin, it would show in the morning.  Sharky would see and Joseph wasn’t sure what message he was trying to put out. Rook was his but at the same time, he couldn’t be certain that Rook would remain interested in both of himself and John for long. He’d have his answer soon.

“I’m okay, bit shell-shocked. First Addie and Jerome, and now  Hurk and Sharky. It’s a  lot for one day. I don’t even know what to say. Jacob always said I’d cross that bridge when I’d get to it but now I’m here... How do I even explain all this? What about John?” 

“You can’t help falling in love, Rook. That’s who you are. It was good for John as well.  Sharky will understand.”

Rook nodded and grabbed Joseph’s hand, pulling it up to his mouth so he could kiss the knuckles. He was crying silently. Joseph leaned up to kiss his cheek and found the tears , frowning in the dark.

“Why are you crying?” He pulled his hand back and wiped them away, kissing Rook’s eyelids gently. “Your friends are alive and well. Things will be okay.”

“I’m scared, Joe. What if he doesn’t like the person I’ve become and what I’ve done? He left and I acted like it meant nothing, I went straight to John.”

“Now you know that’s not true. You are the same stubborn man you were months ago. You’re not a different man and you did not throw aside your feelings for him. Circumstances change, Rook. He’ll understand, you’ll see. There’s no need to worry.”

“That’s not all I’m scared about. I know we talked about soulmates before but...”

Joseph kissed his lips, silencing his worried babble. “If you care for  Sharky as well as us, I can live with that. God granted you an enormous heart and I’ve come to accept that you cannot be tethered to one soul. Whatever happens tomorrow, you have my blessing. Do not restrict yourself with ifs and maybes. See where your conversation takes you before you worry over what to do.” 

Rook let out a tiny sob but Joseph muffled it with his lips. He kissed him gently, coaxing the younger man into relaxation so his body unwound and Rook gave in to the kiss. Once Rook was breathless and pawing at his chest to get off, Joseph finally pulled away.

“What did I do to deserve you?” Rook whispered, catching his breath. He felt a fresh wave of tears welling up and reached out to cradle Joseph’s jaw, running his fingers up  through his beard. 

“I could ask the same thing.” Joseph closed his eyes, loving the gentle touches. 

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Now, how about we get some sleep?” 

Rook nodded and was pulled into Joseph’s arms, facing him. John shuffled in his sleep restlessly and Rook brought a leg back to tangle with John’s, making sure he had contact with both of them. Rook had his doubts but for the moment he felt safe surrounded by the brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: Sharky has his own story that will follow him.
> 
> Read it here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/20349595


	52. The Right Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: Sharky has his own story that follows him.
> 
> Read it here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/20349595

Sharky padded barefoot, yawning and rubbing his eyes, into the kitchen and almost fell over Peaches stretched out across the tiles. She  hissed and pawed weakly at his leg as he leapt to the side.

“Sorry, Sorry, Peachy, I didn’t see you there.” He didn’t go back to her to apologise like he would a dog or cat because the cougar was the furthest thing from a pet. Backing away with his eyes fixed on her , he went to the breakfast table. 

Joseph was finishing the food, laying it all on plates. He glanced at  Sharky , stood there in borrowed sweatpants and a tight-fitting shirt. The pyro had built his muscles back up on the road.

“Why's no one up yet?”  Sharky asked, leaning back against the island. His eyes went wide at the amount of food, he’d forgotten what eggs tasted like. There was a fresh loaf of bread cut thinly on the counter. 

“Rook is just getting ready, he’ll be up soon with John.” Joseph brought the food to the table and  Sharky gave him a hand. “Since we have a moment together, I wanted to apologise. I know it’s late.” He looked up and gestured for  Sharky to sit beside him. “I over-reacted, I never should’ve sent you away. It was unfair to everyone.”

Sharky was silent for a long moment.  “Did Rook tell you to say that?”

“No, he didn’t. I’ve had a long time to think about this, about the consequences of my actions. What I did wasn’t right.” 

Sharky crossed his arms and scoffed . “No shit. Look, I didn’t come back to start a fight or steal your boyfriend. I just want to make that clear. I came back because this county is my home and I have a family again.”

“I understand that. Where will you be staying?”

“I  dunno . I can always check on my trailer, see what’s left of it. Maybe  Hurk and I can live there. Or we’ll find another group to team with.” 

Sharky hadn’t thought much further ahead than seeing Rook again. With  Hurk at his side, he’d hoped he could just get inside the ranch without too much trouble and catch a quick conversation if he was lucky. Beyond that, he hadn’t even thought about where he’d go or what he would do. The county had changed, he saw the outposts brimming with life and the crops growing in the Valley, heard the engines of cars and saw a  plane in the air. Nothing was the same anymore and Sharky hoped he could find a space for himself in the new world. He wasn’t gifted or talented but he’d worked as a mechanic and he could build anything with spare parts. Surely someone would want him.

His thoughts dispersed when he heard Rook’s voice.

“Morning, Peaches, did  ya sleep well?” He was kneeling beside the cougar, rubbing her belly and scratching her neck. Boomer whined for attention and trotted to Joseph when he realised his owner was too preoccupied with the overgrown cat. 

Sharky didn’t hang out with the cougar often but he knew Rook had a bond with her. Still, his blood  ran cold  when the Deputy leaned down and kissed her head, right between the eyes. She was purring and her eyes closed, and Rook was unharmed. When he stood back up, Sharky relaxed. 

“Hey, Sharks. You sleep well too?” Rook was grinning, his hand passing over  Sharky’s shoulder as he reached the table. He sat opposite him, tangling his fingers with Joseph under the table for a moment before pulling away and grabbing food.

“Best night in a long time. I forgot what a bed felt like.” 

Rook hummed and poured coffee for both  Sharky and Joseph, then himself.  Sharky didn’t eat much, not wanting to look greedy even if his stomach rumbled.

“Oh, thanks for waiting. How caring of you,” John chastised as he entered the kitchen and sat beside  Sharky . “I thought at least one of you would’ve applied their manners.” He glared at Joseph, who was mid-bite into his bread. At least he had the decency to look somewhat remorseful. “Clearly that’s too much to hope for.”

“Maybe don’t take an hour showering and doing your hair?” Rook backtalked with a smirk, gesturing rudely with a finger at John’s carefully slicked hair. It was getting ridiculously long and the gel wasn’t strong enough to hold it all back so John was forced to tuck the long strands behind his ears. 

“Maybe don’t hog the shower with my brother all morning . ” John glowered but Rook knew he was just bickering for the sake of it.

Rook dead-panned. “You have your own shower, John. It’s not my fault you feel the need to move your cosmetics over to  _ our  _ room instead of walking a few metres.”

“It’s supposed to conserve time. Clearly I must’ve missed your Greed . ”

Sharky watched as they argued and glanced at Joseph, trying to understand why John used their room too, but the preacher was very quiet and  _ red _ . He probably didn’t enjoy having his routine with Rook exposed at the breakfast table, or anywhere for that matter. 

“Some of us are injured and need help,” Rook threw back even if he could shower on his own perfectly fine. The bandages were a problem, but Joseph didn’t need to suck him off and pretend it was helping him clean up. That was just the perk of having a hot nurse at his beck and call.

Joseph could sense where the conversation was heading when he saw the smirk on his brother’s face. Before John could declare anything  Boshaw did not need to hear, _ever,_ he held up a hand.

“I don’t think our guest wants to know any of  this. And s peaking of guests , where is Mr  Drubman ?”

Rook sighed and stopped, only for his eyes to widen. He’d totally forgotten about  Hurk with John distracting him so easily.  He glared at John for a moment, trying not to let that sharp smirk annoy him any further.

“He’s probably  face down in his bed,”  Sharky answered, unbothered by his cousin’s absence. 

Rook downed the rest of his coffee. “I’ll go get him or he’ll sleep till noon.”

He stood and kissed Joseph’s temple , a tiny apology for oversharing, before he jogged upstairs. His pets raised their heads but didn’t follow, happy to receive cuddles from the preacher’s hands. It wasn’t like he was doing something important like eating.

\---

Hurk was indeed face down on the mattress. Rook had knocked for a minute and given up on waiting for the man to get up and open the door, so he just walked in. The guest rooms  still  didn’t have locks. 

One blanket was spilling onto the ground and the other barely covered  Hurk’s ass . His snores were deafening and Rook wondered how Sharky had survived sleeping close to him. He stepped closer and shook  Hurk’s shoulder, harder and harder until a lesser, smaller man would’ve been thrown off the bed.

“Uh, what? I’m alive, I’m awake,”  Hurk mumbled, waving his big hand in the air lazily as he turned over. He’d slept without a shirt and Rook noticed he’d lost a lot of weight out in the wild. He was still pudgy and large, still a force to be reckoned with, but starvation had gotten to him as well. 

“Come on, breakfast’s waiting for you. Get up or you’ll miss it.” Rook grabbed his hand and tried to pull him up but  Hurk was too heavy and his injuries started to sting. He winced and  Hurk was up in an instant.

“What’s wrong, Dep? You hurt?”  Hurk remembered what Rook had said, about the kidnapping and the torture, and frowned worriedly. He reached out and lifted Rook’s  red  sleeveless tee, one he’d ripped up to show off his muscled arms, and checked over his stomach.

The bandages were white, clean and sterile, and the cuts were healing just fine. Exerting himself just made Rook dizzy and nauseous.  Hurk brushed his fingers down the bandages.

“I’m sorry you had to go through this,” he said softly, pulling the shirt back down carefully once he’d checked for red splotches. Rook knew he was fine but it was nice  Hurk cared.

“I’ve lived through worse.”

“Doesn’t make it any better. Oh, I  gotta talk to mom last night. She’s alright and I’ll probably see her tomorrow or the next day, depending on what the plan is.”

Hurk stood and pulled his boxers  back in place from where they’d ridden up in his sleep. He had a habit of moving his legs a lot which gave  Sharky plenty of bruises. He hunted down his jeans and shirt but gave them a sniff test, gagging when he put the flag shirt to his nose.

“Yeah, no, no that needs burning.” Grabbing his bag, he pulled a cleaner shirt and stuffed the old one back in. 

“You know we can wash that for you.” Rook reached for the bag, noting all the dirty, mud-stained clothes. “And what plan exactly?”

“Oh, well,  Sharky wanted to check on things here. See if he and  Broseph will get along again. You know, he told me what happened between you two.”

Rook frowned. “It was a mistake.” He glanced further into the bag and found an old book, and some condoms sticking out of an inner pocket. He looked over at  Hurk while his back was turned and couldn’t picture him getting laid easily enough to warrant that much protection. It was only when  Hurk felt the need to go commando and do so while facing Rook, that he wholly understood. His eyes shot up to the ceiling and he gulped.

“I don’t know about that, amigo. You’re all  Sharky ever talks about, even before the world went  kabloowy . Dep did this, Dep did that, hey  Hurk have you seen Dep today? The poor  guy’s had a crush on you for ages, man. I mean, it probably doesn’t help that the first time he saw you was at the Police charity event.”

Rook remembered that day vividly. They’d set up a gathering with stalls and games for the locals to raise funds for the nearby  highschool . He’d volunteered for the physical events like the mini marathon and the basketball tournament with half the department. It had been a hot, demanding day so he’d ditched his shirt quickly. He’d been a lot bigger back then too, more muscles and veiny arms than now, so he could understand why he’d caught  Sharky’s attention. He probably made half the citizens ’ blood run south and having Staci do the same likely hadn’t helped. Joey had been jealous, forced to hide her sports bra under her sweaty shirt  because  it would’ve been inappropriate to strip down. Staci had been upset about that rule too.

“Man, it was erection nation for days after that,”  Hurk continued, slipping the fresher shirt over his head. “And then you went and became a rifle and  bow -toting freedom fighter and he pretty much passed out from all the blood going from one head to the other.”

“Thanks,  Hurk , I get it.” Rook wasn’t sure he wanted to think about  Sharky’s dick, certainly not around his cousin or his boyfriends.

Hurk patted him on the back sympathetically.  “All I’m saying is it was bound to happen. I’m just surprised he waited that long to tell you.”

“I never even knew he liked guys, not until John took interest.” Rook grabbed the bag and started following  Hurk down the corridor . “I was an idiot for not realising any of it.”

“Don’t blame yourself, man.  Sharky’s always been quiet about stuff like that. Hell, I didn’t find out he liked dick until we found each other. I’ve known the guy most of my life, we grew up together after his mom died, and I never had a clue. Between his thing for my mom and all the pussy he said he got, I never  woulda guessed it. Not that I don’t  approve , I mean, dicks are the best thing ever.”

Rook paused on the top of the stairs and  Hurk looked back up at him.  He blinked and then laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh, I’m not gay. I just mean that dicks are awesome, you know. Like you can do so much  with them and you know, it’s aesthetically pleasing.  Y ou get it , don’t you, amigo? ”

“Yeah.”

“Exactly. So, I’ve got nothing against  Sharky liking dudes. Live and let live, that’s my motto.”

They carried on walking down the stairs and Rook waved at the  Peggie on duty in the open front doorway. It was warm enough to ventilate the hall even in the early morning. 

“I bet  Sharky was happy to hear your support.”

“He was, I think. Look, I don’t  wanna talk about his past without him here or whatever but he and I, we grew up in that backwater mentality they always put in the films. All the hate and abuse for people different . It wasn’t that he would get hurt for saying it but he was scared. I mean, my  daddy wasn’t-”  Hurk sighed. “Well, you know what he was like. I’m just glad  Sharky was able to come out, not everybody gets a chance. So, yeah... he’s got my full support.”

Hurk smiled and patted Rook’s shoulder, noticing the tremble in the Deputy’s weak smile. He wrapped his arm around him.

“Hey, come on now. You got my ass up for food, let’s go.”

Rook nodded and looked away to compose himself. “He’s really lucky to have you.”

Rook never had a supportive figure, at least not one he can talk to about his problems. His dad knew but he’d been happy to ignore his son’s sexuality, pretending that chat at the dinner table when Rook was nineteen had never happened. It had taken up so much courage to say it, to look his dad in the eyes and admit he was bi, that it had numbed him to the bland expression and fisted hands on the  tabletop . His mom had been dead for two years already so perhaps his dad had been kind enough to restrain his disappointment or he’d known Rook’s mom would’ve rejoiced and celebrated and didn’t want to tarnish her memory. Whatever the reason, that was the one and only time Rook spoke to family about it.

“He’s family, man. I  gotta do my best for him,”  Hurk said with a smile, pulling Rook along into the kitche n without asking why he fell silent so suddenly.

\---

Rook insisted he and  Sharky go for a walk, alone and away from the ears and eyes of the cult. As he waited for his friend, lacing up his boots with Boomer and Peaches at heel,  Sharky came down with a rucksack and a smile.

“You ready?” He asked, shoving his tattered cap over his shaggy hair. He’d rolled up the sleeves of his hoodie but the sun was warm enough that he’d likely take it off later. 

“Sure. Let’s go.” 

Rook opened the front door, letting the beasts run out ahead before he took his usual path down to the river. There were so many other directions to walk but he was still tired and hurting even on the best of days. It would be a while before he could hike up across the river and into the lush forests on the mountain slopes.

They walked for ten minutes down to the boat house. Boomer went to the water edge and the river was sluggish enough that he didn’t worry when his dog jumped in, barking at the fish that came up for air. Peaches stayed dry, too haughty and smart for a dip, though she trotted along the shore.

“What’s it like out there?” Rook asked to break the silence , keeping an eye on his pets as they messed around.  He glanced up at the mountains and  Sharky followed his gaze.

“Not much has changed, just less people and noise. I found groups that had rebuilt communities like here and everybody was pretty nice, willing to lend a hand and all that. It hasn’t been long, though, maybe we’ll get some Mad Max action some day.”

Rook chuckled. “I really hope not.”

“You can’t tell me the world wouldn’t be cooler with more spikes and flames.”  Sharky glanced at him and bumped shoulders. “Still, you’ve done pretty well even if there aren’t any skulls or badass armour around. When did it all happen?”

“Just after you left. The Sheriff came and agreed to our plan, then he and everyone else started helping out and fixing things.  There are cultists and resistance  work i ng together i n the fields, the town, everywhere really. It’s not always been great but Earl and Joe haven’t butted heads yet.”

“I’ve missed out on a lot.”

Sharky stopped walking. They were far away enough from the ranch to feel comfortable enough to take off the rucksack and pull a book out. Rook recognised it, the same one from the bunker.  Sharky went to the shore line and sat down on a boulder, flicking through the pages until he came to the end.

_ I love you too,  _ _ R. _

“ I didn’t mean to leave it behind," Sharky admitted. "I searched for it everywhere till I realised I left it in the bunker. I went there right after the Ryes left, and I wanted to write all about my travels, the people I met and the cool shit I saw. But I just forgot it. I wanted to get out, you know, had the cult watching me and I didn't want to make things worse.”

“I searched for you, man. For weeks. I went all over the county trying to find you and I went to the bunker with Grace and Jess. Found your stuff in the workshop. Bawled my fucking eyes out.”

Rook stared at the page, at his scribbled confession.  Sharky sighed and dragged his index finger across the words, his face unreadable.

“I came back to Hope because I was desperate to see you again ,”  Sharky explained. “ I mean, sure I wanted to come home but that shit pile of a trailer means nothing to me. I came back for you, I was hoping long enough had passed and with  Hurk with me...”  Sharky reached out and Rook sat beside him, their thighs pressed together to fit on the rock. “You know I care about you, Dep. I screwed everything up because of it and I don’t want to do it again. I lost so much just because I was stupid.”

“It was my fault too. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling him. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

Rook tore his eyes away from the page and tried to focus on Boomer splashing in the water. His vision blurred and his fingers gripped his knees tightly.  Sharky placed his hand over Rook’s.

“I don’t want to l ose everything again, Rook. I want to say I’m happy you wrote this but I’m not. It just makes everything so much more complicated.”

“I know it does but that doesn’t mean we can’t act on it and try.”

Sharky closed the book, stealing one last glance at those simple yet heavy words, and shoved it back in his bag.  “ Aren’t you listening to me? I can’t!” 

“It’s different now. Joseph and I came to an agreement. I can sleep with other people. I... I’m with John, too.”

Sharky stood suddenly, startling Rook, and walked to the water’s edge, the waves lapping at his boots and the pebbled beach. He grabbed a stone, weighed it in his hand, and chucked it hard into the river. Boomer raised his head curiously and moved further upstream as  Sharky grabbed another rock and then another and another until he’d run out of large enough rocks. He was panting and raised his hands to his head, debating on yelling out angrily. He brought his leg back and kicked dirt into the water.

“Sharks?” Rook watched from the safety of the boulder, arms wr apped around himself. He’d never seen his friend so angry. 

Sharky whirled back on him, gesturing with his finger. “Just stop! You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to pick and choose and think everything’s going to be okay because you said so. Back in the bunker, when you  said you liked Joseph- I thought my chance was gone and I hated that he beat me to it. But I saw why you went for him, he’s always calm and nice to you despite all the shit he pulled before. I saw the way you look at each other and I wish more than anything that I could have that with someone.”

“ Sharky -”

“No! Shut up and let me talk.” Rook recoiled and bowed his head. “I know why you’re with him but why the fuck  are you with John? He hurt you so much and on top of that, he liked me back. So not only have I lost you, I lost out on John as well! It’s not fair, Rook. You don’t have the right to stake claim on people and just take them like that. John was my friend.”

“He needed someone when you left,” Rook butted in with a frown. It wasn’t his fault he liked both siblings. Joseph had said he had a big heart. “I’m allowed to date whoever I want,  Sharky . You can’t tell me what to do.”

Sharky raised his arms and threw them back down, spinning on one foot and pacing. “You make it sound like it was my choice! I had to leave, there was nothing left for me in Hope. You... you keep taking things and you leave nothing  for me. You forced me to tell you how I felt, you kissed me, you told Joseph, and you stole the one person in the world I had a chance with. Why? Why do you keep fucking taking? All the time!”

Rook was crying but  Sharky ignored the guilt in his throat. Rook had brought this down upon himself. 

“ _ I’m sorry _ ,” the Deputy blurted out with a shaky sob. “I’m sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“Well, stop because you aren’t.”

Sharky exhaled heavily and turned his back to Rook. He couldn’t bear to face him, it hurt too much to see the pain his words had rightfully caused and he couldn’t picture the wasted opportunities they could’ve had together. After a few minutes of staring emptily at the shimmering water, he calmed himself and turned back.

Rook was gone. 


	53. Breakfast in bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one this week :)  
> Let me know what you think!

The sunlight filtering through Staci’s blinds hit him right in the eye, waking him harshly and forcing him to turn over and bury his head in the pillow. He bumped his nose into Alex’s face and pulled back, blinking tiredly as he took in his sleeping partner. 

Alex was curled up in a ball, making himself as small as possible on Staci’s large enough bed. Most of his lower face was hidden under the blanket but his eyelids fluttered restlessly. Staci leaned down and kissed his head and started getting out of bed. He knew he couldn’t get back to sleep and his bedside clock told him it was already 10am. Jacob was expecting him at the centre one of these days to start the training and Staci’s mind was still trying to understand why he’d said yes.

He padded into the kitchen and put together what little food he had, setting it on two plates which he brought back to the bedroom. Placing them on the computer desk, Staci sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the blanket down enough so he could kiss Alex’s lips. The Chosen woke immediately, confused for a moment before his brain caught up and kissed back.

“Morning,” Staci greeted softly, leaning back as Alex sat up and untangled himself from the blanket. 

“Hiya.” Alex chuckled against another kiss. “What’s all this about?”

“I can’t wake you and bring you breakfast in bed?” Staci stood to fetch the plates and handed one to Alex. 

“You definitely can, I've never had this before. It’s nice to be pampered.” Alex ate quickly and quietly and watched Staci finish the last morsels. It really wasn’t a lot but until the crops could all be  harvested, the portions were small. “I should head back to Jacob today. I know he agreed to let me have time off but I don’t want to push my luck.”

“I need to go as well. I need to let Earl know what I’m up to before he thinks I’ve gone missing again.” Staci stood and held out a hand, helping Alex up. “Shower here with me?”

“Sure.” 

Staci led him into a small, modest bathroom. A shower unit stood in one corner with a toilet and sink opposite. A couple bottles of soap and shampoo sat on a little shelf in the shower and there were a few more products on the tank of the toilet. Minimalist and cheap and all Staci ever bothered to do, after all most of his  paychecks had gone into rent and new games. 

He let the water warm up and stripped out of the old shirt and boxers he’d lazily thrown on after they’d had sex. It was too cold in the apartment to sleep completely naked, not until the summer began and then he’d have to open all the windows. Alex followed his example but kept his clothes separate since he’d have to wear them back to the centre. 

The water was steaming up and Alex winced under the spray, adjusting to it as Staci rubbed soap over his chest. Staci held his face and kissed him softly, humming as Alex’s hands wandered to his cock and started jerking him off. 

“I fucked you last night, isn’t that enough?” Staci asked, chuckling as Alex shook his head.

“Nope. You’ll learn quickly that I’m very greedy. It's one of my sins.” His hand passed over the head, massaging deeply with his thumb across the slit, and dragged back down firmly. 

“Oh fuck...” Staci braced one hand on the wall behind Alex and returned the favour, stroking his erect cock with his soapy hand. 

“That’s so good, just like that, Stace.” 

Staci kept up the steady rhythm, leaning forward to kiss Alex until the man was shaking and moaning and begging to come. He fisted the head rapidly, letting his fingers soak in precum.

“Even if I make you cum now, I bet you’re still going to run to Jacob begging to have your cute little dick sucked.” 

Alex gasped against his lips and bucked his hips, his hand stuttering for a moment before he carried on bringing Staci closer to the edge. 

“And instead he’ll force you on your knees and make you cum on his boots. And then you’d have to lick it up like a good boy-”

“Oh fuck,  yeeesss ...” 

Alex grabbed hold of Staci’s arm as he came hard and shot onto Staci’s cock, painting it with thick dripping strands. Barely taking a moment to regain his breath, Alex went down on his knees and licked up his cum, sucking eagerly on the head and making Staci come down his throat. Staci held him there with a hand on the back of his head, making Alex choke and whimper. When Staci couldn’t handle the tongue working his oversensitive cock, he let Alex pull back and watched as he obediently swallowed.

“I don’t know why you keep making me think about Jacob when it’s just the two of us but fuck it makes me cum so hard.” Alex sat back and let the water wash away the saliva and cum from his chin and lips.

Staci joined him on the floor of the shower, his legs shaking from the intensity of his orgasm, and gently cupped Alex’s face to bring him into a kiss.

“That’s exactly why I do it. Love seeing you come apart so easily.”

Alex pecked his lips. “Do... Do you think it might be possible in the future to... you know...”

Staci raised a brow and stood back up with Alex. He still had to wash his hair and body. He lathered shampoo into the long strands as Alex rubbed soap over his back and under his arms.

“To what?”

“Share me...” Alex had gotten all shy, curling up against Staci’s back and hugging him with his arms tightly wrapped around his waist. “I think it would be fun to sub to both of you.”

Staci turned in his arms. “I don’t know if I could do that. Jacob and I get along better but that doesn’t change what happened between us.”

“He cares a lot about you. I do too.”

Staci sighed. “I’ll think about it.”

Alex was smart enough not to push. He kissed Staci’s shoulder and got out of the shower first, chucking a towel at his friend. They got dressed quickly and ended up standing by the front door awkwardly. Alex had to go back, even an evening and morning off was making him nervous despite Jacob’s grunted approval. He hadn’t been away from his teammates and Jacob since he’d joined years before. It felt strange to have freedom but he knew not to push the limits.

“I should go. Are you coming with me?” Alex held out his hand as Staci shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“I... Not yet. I need to talk to Earl. I’ll come by when I can.” 

Alex was clearly disappointed but he nodded. “I know it’s not an easy choice but I hope you stick to your decision. Jacob doesn’t want to admit it but he’s struggling to keep everything going. Having you there would mean a lot, to both of us.”

“I know, I get it. Really, I do. I’ll be there soon.” Staci caught his hand from where it had fallen to his side and leaned in for a kiss. “I promise.”

Alex smiled softly and opened the door. “Okay, I believe you. See you later, then. Bye Stace.” And then he was gone, footsteps echoing in the stairwell. 

Staci watched him leave and as he went to close the door, he noticed one of his neighbours was observing the scene with a frown. She was one of the resistance fighters who’d been stationed at the prison back in the day, middle-aged and constantly killing  Peggie s left and right. She looked down at Staci from the floor above him and spit on the ground before slamming her front door. 

He flinched and closed his door as well. He’d never liked his neighbours except one elderly couple who’d passed away before the bombs. Everyone else made comments on the people he brought back to his apartment, not that it was any of  their business. Once he’d been able to ignore it but so much had passed in his life that he wasn’t immune to their judgement and their sneers anymore. He hated living here.

Heading back into his room, he took the plates out to the sink and went back to make his bed. Sitting on it, he opened the bedside drawer and pulled out his phone. He wasn’t going to read the messages again but he went to his voicemail and tapped next until he reached the final recording. 

He zoned out the part about the nukes and focused solely on the sound of her voice, ignoring the screams and the panic  behind  wherever she had been when she’d made that final phone call. He’d liked Matt, his new step-dad, but that wasn’t what he needed to hear. 

_ We love you so much. I’m so proud of you baby. Dad would have been proud of you too. _

Staci would give up everything to have his mom back, to know what she thought of the life he’d lived and if she approved of his decisions. She’d been so proud when he’d joined the police even if Staci knew deep down he didn’t deserve to wear the badge. He’d slacked off so much the first year and Earl wasn’t able to control him very well. Staci hoped he could still make her proud. 

Would she tell him to go back to Jacob? No, she wouldn’t. She’d tell him to run the other direction and never look back but it wasn’t that simple. Staci didn’t want to wander the wasteland for the rest of his life, hoping to do something meaningful with it.

What would his dad have said? Staci didn’t have a clue but he would’ve likely sided with his mom, desperate to protect their child to the last minute. Except he hadn’t and he was either dead or still in California. That was the last address on the postcard before his dad fell off the grid. Staci wanted him to be proud but at the same time, he couldn’t care less what he thought. 

Only his mom mattered and she would’ve told Staci to follow his heart.  He hoped he was making the right choice.

He turned the phone off and put it back in the drawer. Grabbing his car keys and his badge, he left to go to the Wolf’s Den. 

\---

Sharky wanted to burn something. He wanted to set the county ablaze and watch it turn to ash. Igniting the  molotov in his hand, he chucked hard into the pile of rusted cars on the edge of the trailer park. The glass shattered and the flames exploded into an enormous fire, black smoke reaching up into the sky. The metal groaned under the heat and  Sharky inhaled deeply, the light reflecting in his teary eyes as he prepared another bottle. He didn’t want to see anything other than a wall of flames and feel the searing heat on his bare chest. 

Rook was gone. He’d walked away and hadn’t returned to the ranch. 

Sharky had ignored the Seeds as he took a car to the Henbane region. He didn’t want to talk to anyone and end up ruining more lives. That’s what his parents had called him: life- ruiner , an accident, a waste of sperm. He threw another bottle with a yell, laughing bitterly as it crashed against the cars and the flames only grew hotter and higher. 

Why was it so fucking difficult to just be happy? Was there some God up there who took pleasure in his misery, in taking everything from him? 

His parents had been the worst people in his life, abusing his kindness and treating him like a slave. Then came  Hurk Sr with his fists and his drinking, and then the girls at school who’d made fun of him and laughed in his face when he asked for a date. Then the jocks and the rich kids who shoved him into walls and beat the crap  outta him wh ile the teachers turned their backs. All the shitty jobs he’d had, the arrest and the cop who’d caught him jacking it in his car trying to make a few bucks online, the parole officer who’d tried to plant drugs in his house to give him a longer sentence. Rook and his  i nsat i able sex drive and his impossible demands and his perfection that made  Sharky want to hide in his shadow. John and his ease at finding someone better and smarter than  Sharky -

The bottle went wide and struck a trailer.  Sharky fell to his knees in the dust and watched as the flames crawled up the walls and into the open windows. The smoke was so dark he couldn’t see through it. The interior crackled and groaned until something inside blew up, sending the roof into the air. It fell back down into the fire and it miraculously didn’t spread beyond the trailer and the burning cars. 

Sharky was shoved back on his ass by the strength of the explosion and the heat stung his skin, burning some of his arm hair as he shielded his face. He sat in shock for a moment before laughing hysterically. Forcing himself up to his feet, he staggered towards the fire just to feel more of the heat and inhale the smoke that could be seen for miles from the hilltop. 

Fuck every body . Fuck Rook, fuck John, fuck the whole fucking county. He could live without any of them, he’d survived on his own before. He could do it again. He didn’t need any of them, he thought as he sat down and watched the fire consume the shell of the trailer until it was nothing but a charred, melted disaster. 


	54. Guns and a screwy set of morals

The plume of black smoke caught the attention of the Peggies stationed in the Henbane. As soon as it was radioed in, John knew exactly who was to blame. He drove to the park in record time, his Jeep handling the potholes and dirt road well enough. He couldn’t risk sending someone else in. This was something he needed to do himself, even if it meant driving across half the county towards a madman with a hard-on for fire. 

The hill was covered in smoke and John coughed as he climbed out just before the entrance. His eyes fell on the trailer he’d been locked in and his stomach dropped. He hadn’t thought about what it meant to come back here, to the place he’d thought he’d be raped and killed. Sharky did none of those things and he’d saved his life instead, but John still remembered being cuffed to that radiator and starving until his last day. 

The pyromaniac was nowhere to be seen. The fire was coming from a burnt trailer by the junkpile, which was smouldering but not as damaged. It stank of chemicals and ash, making him cough and gag.

“Boshaw! Where are you?” 

He heard noise coming from the roof of a trailer and looked up to see Sharky climbing a ladder up. There was a couple of fabric folding chairs with a table between them and a twenty-pack case of beer. Sharky saw him and flipped him off rudely. 

“Fuck off Seed. I don’t wanna talk to anyone.” He sat in a chair and grabbed a bottle, uncapping it quickly and taking a swig. 

“Well, tough shit. Everybody can see the fire. Are you trying to burn the county down?” John yelled up at him. He crossed his arms and wondered whether he should go join Sharky on the roof but it seemed unsafe. 

“It’s my property, I can burn whatever the fuck I want. It’s just me around here. Plus the fire’s contained.” 

“No it isn’t!” John gestured at the missing roof. “It blew up. What if it spread fire everywhere? There’s no fire department anymore, no one who can stop it. The world is burnt enough as it is. Stop being an idiot.” 

Sharky gritted his teeth and stood up, throwing the half empty bottle at John. The Baptist managed to dodge in time as it shattered just where he’d stood. 

“What the fuck, Boshaw?! What’s your problem?” John wanted nothing more than to punch him for that but he felt sick at the clear rejection. He’d had plenty of shit thrown at him growing up, he didn’t need Sharky to add to the long list. 

“My problem? My problem?! How ‘bout the fact that you and Rook are fucking? Huh? Or that you ditched me for him the second I was gone! You know, I thought your God was shitty and cruel but maybe it's just you fucking people all along.” Sharky paced on the roof and was tempted to throw something else but he didn’t want to waste his beer. He’d already drunk half the case before John showed up. He needed the rest. 

“We’re not fucking, Sharky.” 

“I don’t give a shit what you’re doing. You’re still dating him, aren’t you? Sharing him with Joseph too. I knew you guys were fucked up but I didn’t know you’d go that far.” 

John felt wrath clawing at him, the urge to cause pain that he’d tried so hard to tap down for Rook’s sake. He felt the effort crumbling away. 

“Don’t you dare start on that! You’re not a saint either, Boshaw. You had me and you threw me aside for Rook! Do you have any idea how that felt? I trusted you, you asshole! I told you something that no one else in the world knew and I thought I was finally good enough for someone. But noooo, nobody wants little broken me. I’m not enough for you, am I? But instead of telling me like a man, you just decided to ruin everyone’s lives so you could play out your little fantasy of fucking Rook. Well, I hope that stupid kiss was fucking worth it.” 

John had to leave, he had to get in his Jeep and go home before he let his sin consume him. He was fighting it off, trying to stay in control when he saw red and wanted to punish Sharky for the pain he’d caused in John’s family. He’d put it off for too long, buried his emotions in the hopes they would one day disappear but they had come back stronger. 

John was too busy holding down his rage that he didn’t notice Sharky jump off the roof. His boots kicked up dirt and John turned in time to have a fist connect his cheek. The force sent him to the ground and John gasped out in pain, clutching his face. 

“Just leave me alone!” Sharky yelled, his drunk brain making it difficult to stand. “Why does everyone always treat me like shit and act like the fucking victim after? It wasn’t my fault! Rook made me tell him, he did all this and it’s his fault I got kicked out.” 

He stumbled to the side and John took his chance to stagger to his feet, bracing for another hit. 

“You know, I came back for him. Just to see him, even for a moment. I thought things would be okay and we could be friends again but then he told me about the deal. The one where he gets to go around and fuck anybody he likes because he’s Rook, and Rook always gets what he wants. Doesn’t matter how many people he hurts. He’s... he’s a fucking cancer!” 

John moved before he could think, his punch fuelled by wrath and strong enough to knock Sharky on his ass. He climbed on him and kept hitting him, only for Sharky to shove him off and kick him in the stomach. Winded, John struggled to breathe and crawled to his hands and knees. Sharky’s foot connected with his ribs and John cried out, falling on his damaged wrist. He gritted his teeth through the pain and crawled away, putting enough distance between himself and Sharky. He stood and tackled Sharky down on the ground, holding him down with punches and blows to his face. Sharky tried to grab for his throat but John batted his hands easily, finally knocking Sharky unconscious with a final hit to the head. Certain that he’d truly won, John fell to the side and caught his breath. It wheezed out of him raggedly and all he could hear was blood rushing in his ears. 

\--- 

Sharky woke with a splintering headache. He barely registered his body throwing itself over the side of the bed as he vomited, coughing up until there was nothing left in his insides. He tasted blood and gingerly reached up to his mouth. His lip was bleeding and it stung to touch. With a groan, he sat up and tried to tap down the dizziness and ignore the swaying walls. 

He was in his bedroom, the one in the trailer park that he barely kept clean. It was a second home, one he only used for when he passed out drunk or high and couldn’t walk the half mile down the hill to his actual home. There were bottles littered around the room and trash overflowing from the waste-basket. He hadn’t been back since... well, he didn't want to think about that. Everything was the same except his weed was gone. He kept it out on the side, just away from the window. 

Crawling off the bed, Sharky became aware of various aches and pains in his face and chest. What happened to him? He vaguely remembered John and glancing out of the window, he saw the roof of the Jeep above the bushes. His trailer was empty, though, so he stepped out. The old door creaked open, the mosquito net wobbling in its frame. 

The yard was silent, devoid of life except the glowing embers of the fires. Sharky glanced around but couldn’t see John. 

“Up here, dickhead,” the Baptist called out from the rooftop. He lounged in the chair with his legs crossed at the ankles. He’d turned the chair to face out of the park so he could look at the scenery from the hilltop. 

Sharky stumbled his way to the ladder, holding on extra tight so he couldn’t fall off. Once he was on the roof, John kicked at the chair. 

“Sit.” 

The scent of weed suddenly hit Sharky’s nose and he noticed the spliff dangling between John’s tattooed fingers. He took a drag, exhaling slowly. Sharky turned the chair to face south and sat down heavily, wincing as the throb in his head hated movement. He clutched the sides of his face and groaned. 

“That’s my weed,” he complained. 

“I know and I deserve it for the shit you pulled.” 

Even though John had left the bag and rolling paper on the table between them, Sharky didn’t dare make his own. He watched out of the corner of his eye as John swapped from weed to a half finished beer. The case was almost empty, twenty gone in just a few hours. 

“You’re not a very good drunk,” John said after a few minutes of silence. Sharky took in the bruises and the dried blood under his nose and gulped. “If you ever lay a hand on me again like that, I will kill you.” 

Sharky didn’t mention that he couldn’t remember what had happened but knowing the emotional state and the beer and the bruises, he could piece it together. He had been a complete and utter cunt. The threat made him even sicker. 

“I’m sorry for what I did and said. I didn’t mean it.” 

John laughed but it sounded wrong. He was still so angry, reining it in with the calming effects of the weed but it was bubbling inside him. 

“Yes, you did. I learned in life that when people are desperate, they’ll admit anything. Whether they’re in pain or drunk, the truth always comes out and then they always say they didn’t mean it. You meant every word, Boshaw, and I can respect your honesty.” 

Sharky tried to stay calm but he could feel the anger coming off John and it scared him. It was worse than any outburst or argument they’d had in the past, nothing like the fights in their first bunker over the tiny bed or the barely functioning shower or the almost empty shelves. It was like a smouldering anger, boiling just beneath the surface, and Sharky did not want it to come out. 

“So what’s making you so angry? If it’s not what I said.” Sharky wanted to reach for the beer but he needed something much stronger, to dull the pain that wasn’t just physical. 

“I’m not stupid, I know you don’t remember what you did to me. So let me fill you in. I came here because you were reckless with your fire addiction and you threw a bottle at me when I tried to talk. You just wanted to fight and when I told you how I felt about your cheating ass, you got even angrier and started beating me up. I fought you off long enough to knock you out and then I threw you in bed. I called my brothers, let them know I was handling the situation. And once again, I’m covering your ass and I don’t even know why I bother.” John finished and took a deep gulp, topping it off with the last of his roll-up. He sighed and leaned back in the chair. 

Sharky was shaking and holding back his tears. He was never a violent drunk, stupid maybe and he had a big mouth, but he’d never hurt anyone. His parents flashed in his mind and he gripped the cuffs of his hoodie tightly. He didn’t want to be anything like them. 

John raised a brow when Sharky stood and shuffled in front of him, only to kneel down at his feet with his head bowed. 

“I’m really sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, John. I’ll never let it happen again, I swear. I’m sorry for everything I did and not just today. I did cheat on you and I never really considered how you might feel.” 

Sharky rested his forehead against John’s knee. His designer jeans were torn and dirty from their scuffle and he’d scraped the skin open. 

_But no, nobody wants little broken me. I’m not enough for you, am I?_ The memory in his head replayed and he could remember John yelling those words up at him, the fury and misery in his face as he said it. Sharky gulped and tried to stop trembling. He felt so sick and dizzy, the guilt mixing so well with his hangover that he just wanted to die and stop being a burden on everyone. 

“You’re more than enough, John,” he said, looking up at the Baptist and reaching out for his hand, letting his fingers trail across the tattoos. “You’re not broken and I do want you but I’m the one that’s not enough. You and Rook and your brothers, you’re all so smart and cunning and you’re so much better than I am. I mean, look at you, you’re a genius- you went to those fancy schools and you’re the most intelligent person I’ve ever met. And Rook, he’s miles beyond what I am.” 

_He’s a fucking cancer!_

“And he’s not a cancer. Rook is who he is and if he wants to be loved by more than one person, that’s his right. He’s still dumb and reckless but he didn’t mean for any of this to happen. We both threw away something special and I regret it so much. I’m really sorry, John, I am.” 

John tried to hide his face behind the bottle, tipping it high so Sharky couldn’t see. He felt like crying and lashing out, like hugging Sharky and telling him it would all be okay. He sat there in silence and watched the sun set. 

Sharky waited for a response but after more than five minutes, he knew he wouldn’t get one. He shuffled to face the orange and purple clouds, resting his cheek against John’s thigh. The throbbing was fading as he relaxed and stayed still. 

“Can we please be friends again?” Sharky asked quietly an hour later when John’s radio crackled and Joseph asked if he was coming back for dinner. John wanted to go home and Sharky moved aside to let him up. 

“I like to think I’m a strong man,” John said instead, rolling down his sleeves to fight the evening chill. “I’ve lived a life of pain and anger and I’ve tried hard to stay on top. When you left, I kept it all in. Aside from a few warnings to Rook, I never yelled at him or blamed him for what happened. It had nothing to do with the fact that he offered himself, almost like collateral.” 

John hoped that hadn’t been Rook’s plan, to make it up to him by offering himself. He didn’t want to believe it was. Sharky’s face reassured him because the pyro knew his best friend well enough to know that Rook didn’t behave like that. 

“What you did was degrading, cruel, and unjust, and I won’t allow you to do it again. From now on, if you decide to do anything with Rook, I want to know first. And if you want a second chance with me, which you _do not_ deserve, you can start by making it up to me.” 

“How?” 

“I don’t know. Think of something. Regardless, if Rook wants to screw you as well we’re having a talk. All of us, Joseph certainly included. Now, I’m going home and you may come back with me if you want. Or wallow on this roof. I don’t care either way.” 

Sharky stood on shaky legs, the headache ever-present and throbbing sharply as he moved. “I want to go home too.” 

“Fine. I’m taking your weed. I deserve it.” John grabbed the half-empty bag and started climbing down the ladder to his Jeep. 

Sharky followed and paused as he gazed at the ruined trailer. There hadn’t been anything important inside but it could have been useful. Looking at all the damage and the enormous scorch marks on the ground, he understood why someone had reported it. It could have gotten out of control so easily and nothing would’ve been there to stop it. Sharky was very glad that this fire behaved and died quickly. 

When he sat in the car, John turned the radio on. Old rock played through the modern speakers of the expensive vehicle and Sharky sat there dumbfounded, listening to the tunes with a tired smile. 

\--- 

Coming down into the surveillance room of the militia's bunker, Staci could hear the crackle of the radio and the chatter between settlements. Only two of the televisions were on, black and white images of the Den’s entrance and the Vet’s centre that fizzled and swayed once in a while. 

Tammy was sat at the desk, writing something down, when she noticed Staci trying to sneak past her. 

“Pratt, don’t you dare ignore me. Come say hello. You’ve been gone a while.” She put down her pen and stood, her arms open to hug Staci. 

He hadn’t returned to the Den much after Rook had been found except to fill out Earl’s report. Joey hadn’t wanted to say anything to him back then, kept her account short and simple. No mention of the torture talks. Whatever she truly thought of Staci, at least she was kind enough to keep him out of trouble. 

“Hey Tammy, how’ve you been?” Staci let her embrace him before he stepped back, feeling braver with at least the table’s corner between them. 

She raised a brow and sighed disappointedly. “Well, you’d know if you had talked to me at the Ryes.” 

Staci glanced away. It was true he hadn’t spoken to anyone from the Den or Police while he’d been at the party. It had been easier to hide with Jacob and Alex than confront people who doubted him. 

“Sorry, I just... had a lot on my mind. Is Earl around?” 

“He’s in his office. Like always.” 

“Thank you.” Staci turned to leave but Tammy caught his arm. 

“Who was that Hispanic man you were with? The shortie with the buzzed head. I didn’t recognise him.” 

Staci felt sweat down his back, suddenly chilling and leaving him praying she couldn’t notice. Her stare was always so intense but he knew deep down she was looking out for him. If he brushed her off, she’d only grow more concerned but he wasn’t there to further their reasons to mistrust him. 

“He’s a friend. He’s...” Tammy’s stare didn’t budge. “Rook broke him out from John’s bunker.” Tammy frowned and Staci thought for sure she didn’t believe him. 

“Oh, that poor man... We’re all so lucky to have Rook. Take care of your friend, he hasn’t had an easy time. Jacob was bad enough but John’s a psycho.” 

Staci agreed, trying to keep his face still so the relief didn’t show. “Yeah, that’s true. I should go talk to Earl. It was nice seeing you, Tammy. I’m sorry about the party.” 

She smacked his shoulder with the back of her hand. “Don’t lose sleep over it. I’ll catch you around, Pratt.” 

Finally able to leave, Staci quickly walked away from her and down the halls to Earl’s office. He bumped into Wheaty as he went around a corner, sending the teenager stumbling back with a yelp. Staci caught his arm. 

“Sorry, it’s my fault,” he apologised immediately, checking over the kid. 

“No, it’s mine too. Tammy keeps telling me I’m too quiet and fast. You’re not the first person I’ve walked into today. So, what brings you back to the Den?” 

“Just need to talk to Earl about something.” 

Wheaty nodded. “Oh, okay. Hey, that reminds me, Earl said he’s going to drive me down to the station in a couple days and show me around. I think I’m really gonna become a cop. I’ll be just like you, how cool is that?” 

The kid was practically jumping up and down giddily and Staci finally noticed he had the green uniform folded over his arm. His stomach knotted. At least this one was clean, no blood or mud from the centre on it. 

“You’ll do great, buddy. You’re learning from the best.” 

“Do you think you could teach me to drive? Joey told me she’d teach me a bunch of stuff too. I mean, I already know how to shoot and all that but I’ve never driven before. I’d ask to fly but well...” 

Staci swallowed and put on his best smile, the one meant for the citizens when cops showed up. He patted Wheaty’s shoulder. 

“Sure, I don’t see why not.” 

“Awesome! Thanks, Staci! I’ll let you see Earl now. Catch you later, man!” Wheaty grinned and walked away, leaving Staci staring at the closed door of the office. He pushed down the guilt for lying and knocked on the door. 

\--- 

Earl stared at the badge on his desk and back up to Staci’s brave yet sad face. The Deputy was trying hard to seem calm and decided but he too was staring at the metal and wondering if he was making the right choice. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Earl asked, bracing his arms on the desk and linking his fingers together. “You’re one of my best, Pratt.” 

Staci shrugged. “You don’t need to lie to me. Out of everyone, I was the worst. I’m holding you back now too. Joey won’t say it but I know no one wants me to stay on the force. She thinks I’m a danger to everyone.” 

“Joey’s worried about you, she only wants the best.” Earl didn’t even deny it, Staci realised. Somehow, that made it worse. “I know it hasn’t been easy for you. It never has been, not since your dad left.” 

“She doesn’t care about me. If she did, I wouldn’t have to turn my badge in. Look, it’s... okay. I’ve thought about it for a good while, since I noticed you didn’t want me to look for Rook.” 

Earl sighed. “I didn’t want you near the Seeds.” 

“Can we please just drop the bullshit?” Staci snapped, not wanting to be coddled and lied to when he was giving up on something he’d been so proud of. He still remembered the joy on his mom’s face when he’d decided to be a police officer like his dad. “You don’t trust me. Nobody does. They all think Jacob’s gotten into my head and I’ll turn into this monster at any second.” 

“Did Joey say this to you?” 

“Does it matter? It’s what you all think, isn’t it?” 

Earl leaned back in his chair. “You know what this job is, what we have to do to keep the peace. We need to be strong and just otherwise we’re no better than anybody with a gun and a set of morals.” 

Staci scoffed and crossed his arms. “You think I’m not strong? Do you think I'm weak?” 

“Now, hold on just a minute. I _think_ that your judgement might not be just. We all have anger towards the Seeds and the Peggies but we can’t act on it.” 

“You think I’d lose my shit and kill someone?” Staci swallowed around the words, knowing full well he’d already taken an innocent life at the prison without hesitation. He didn't need the song to lose all sense of justice, but he hated that Earl was skirting too close to the truth. 

“Joey told me what happened.” Staci’s blood ran cold. “She told me how you attacked her at the station and she had to fight you off. I saw the bruises, I saw the fear in her eyes. Now, I ain’t said this much but you have always been like a son to me. You have no idea how much it pained me to hear her story. I know it’s not your fault but you’re a liability. I couldn’t risk sending you in after Rook in case you changed and I didn’t want you near the Seeds.” 

“You don’t want me. I was right.” 

Earl rubbed his eyes tiredly. “If things could be different...” He finally grabbed the badge, dragging his thumb across HOPE COUNTY SHERIFF’S DEPUTY before he tucked it safely into his desk drawer. “So this is it.” 

“Wheaty will make a good replacement,” Staci said, his fists balled up painfully behind his back. “He’s a good kid.” 

“Yeah, he is. We’ve got other applicants, people I’ve know na good while. It won’t be the same without you, Staci. Never did feel right after you moved out of the Den. I’m sorry this shitshow happened. I wish there was something I could do-” 

Staci held up a hand to silence him. “I know. I don’t... I don’t blame you.” 

“Where will you go now?” Staci shrugged but Earl wasn’t buying it. “I know you, kid. You like to keep busy.” 

“Jacob’s asked for my help around the centre.” 

“Jesus Christ. Out of the pan and into the fire, much? Well, if that don’t turn out like you want it to- you've always got a home here. We’re still your friends, Staci. Don’t forget that.” 

Staci nodded and didn’t bother to shake Earl’s hand before leaving. Or even hug him, or tell him he made a better dad than his real one. Earl understood and let him go without another word. As Staci left the Den, he half-waved to Wheaty and Tammy. Once in his car, he drove to the Vet’s centre and his new life. He prayed he’d made the right choice. Looking in the rearview at the Den, he knew there was nothing left for him anyways. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Staci's finally leaving his old life... but is he going to be happy with his new one?
> 
> Find out next time on DragonBall Z!
> 
> UPDATE: Sharky has his own story that follows him.  
> Read it here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/20349595


	55. Momma's Pride

Rook knew he couldn’t disappear into the woods like he sometimes dreamed of, he couldn’t run from the mess of his life. This time, he told Joseph he needed a day to himself and the preacher had been understanding, even without the details. Joseph didn’t need to know what had sparked the argument, he saw the dried tears and puffy eyes and didn’t stop Rook from getting into a car with his pets.

In hindsight, bringing a cougar and a dog to the centre wasn’t the smartest idea so Rook parked just on the edge of the property instead of startling the inhabitants . He grabbed his radio.

“Hey, Jacob, it’s Rook. You got time for me? I’m outside.” 

Rook drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, his other hand hanging out of the window , with the radio in his lap. He glanced at the closed gates through his aviators and sighed deeply. He grabbed the radio again.

“ Yo , Jacob. I know you can hear me. I’m not going away until you answer.”

He waited a moment longer, tempted to hit the horn but it would only confuse the  Peggie s . The radio crackled at last and Jacob’s voice came through, rough and breathless.

“I’m busy. Go bother someone else.”

Rook frowned. He couldn’t ask what Jacob was doing that was making him so raspy and grumpy because the airwaves weren’t private. God, he missed phones.

“But I’m right outside the gates!”

“Don’t care. Don’t show up uninvited next time.” 

Rook didn’t have a good comeback so he sighed and smacked the steering wheel. Boomer whined from the passenger seat and nudged his bare arm with his wet nose. Unable to ignore him, Rook scratched behind his ears. 

“Give me half an hour. I’ll meet you on the steps. Over and out,” Jacob grunted into his speaker before tossing the radio aside, not giving Rook a chance to thank him. 

Rook let his frown fade and opened the driver’s door so he could stretch his legs and enjoy the sunshine. Boomer followed, clambering over the gearbox to get out. Peaches had to be let out from the back door but she hopped down gracefully and began stalking the long grass.

Glancing at his watch, Rook noticed it was time to go. He packed the animals inside and drove up to the gate, waiting for the  Peggie on duty to let him in. Once he’d parked to the side and kept a close eye on his pets as they wandered beside him, he sat on the steps and waited some more.

Jacob was ten minutes late, strolling casually out of the centre and pulling out his lighter and cigarette before he’d even said hello.

“Hey, Jake. Catch you at a bad time?” Rook watched as he lit up, staring at his scarred hands mindlessly. Boomer was barking over by the wolf cages but nobody minded, and Peaches was curled up under the shade of a tarp.

“Call ahead next time . I was busy, ” Jacob grumbled around the cigarette, blowing smoke away from Rook. 

The Deputy noticed marks just above his collar  as he twisted his neck  and reached out to pull the army jacket aside. Jacob's throat had a deep red bruise and the soldier smacked his hand away, frowning as he made sure no one had seen. 

“ _ That  _ kind of busy then,” Rook said, nodding wisely to himself as he held back a laugh. “That explains why you didn’t answer the first time.”

“ Shuddup . I’ve got a life too. I’m not at your beck and call, Rookie.” 

“I’m just surprised you let someone give you hickeys, that’s all. Didn’t peg you as the type who allowed disobedience.” Rook was grinning, a malicious twinkle in his eyes as he looked at the hidden marks. 

Jacob frowned and shook his head. “He got too excited, that’s all.”

“Ha. I thought you knew how to keep people in line, Jacob.”

“I’m  gonna punch that smug grin off your face in a second.”

Rook chuckled and nudged Jacob with his shoulder, scooting closer so they were pressed together. There was still plenty of space on the stairs in case someone needed to walk by but nobody dared approach. There were side doors anyways.

“So is there a reason you pulled me out of bed? Or did you just miss me?” 

“You know  Sharky came home.” Jacob nodded. He’d watched from the doorway for a moment to ensure his brothers were okay before he left. “Well, we talked this morning about everything that’s happened. He hated the fact that I slept with other people. He got so angry. I know you said I’d be okay when I reached this point, the whole ‘cross this bridge’ thing, but now I don’t know what to do.”

Jacob sighed and patted Rook’s knee. “You’re one over-complicated bastard, Rook.”

“I didn’t think it would get that bad. I care about him so much but he doesn’t want to risk anything with Joseph. I think I really fucked up.”

“You’re allowed to like whoever you want. If he doesn’t like it, tough shit.” Jacob sighed again, annoyed that this hopeless  young  man had decided he was the best source of advice. 

“I pretty much told him I love him. It was just spur of the moment. I wrote it in his journal months ago and he found it and...”

Jacob stood suddenly and stretched. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” 

Rook watched as he disappeared into the centre and came back a couple minutes later with a bottle of Daniel’s. He unscrewed the lid and took a swig before passing it to Rook.

“Here.”

“Why?” Rook still drank some. Even if it was around lunchtime.

“Because I do not want to be sober when dealing with your Mary Sue romance  chick- flick bullshit.” Jacob took the bottle back and drank again, before lighting up another cigarette. He placed the bottle down between their feet.

“My what now?”

“You and your lovey-dovey crap. Why do you make things so difficult all the time? Just think before you speak or do something that will certainly backfire on you. Stop running around like you got your head cut off.”

Rook frowned and drank, hating the taste of cheap whiskey. It was still better than the reserve Jacob had had in his room. “I don’t mean to.”

“Okay, let’s make this very simple for you. Pick a man. Stop flirting with everyone, stop trying to fuck every person with a dick.”

“But I-”

Jacob held his hand up and silenced Rook with his fingers across the Deputy’s lips. “Shut up for two seconds. Out of everybody you’re messing around with, if you could pick one person to spend the rest of your life with, who would it be? Think, don’t just blurt out whoever’s got the biggest dick. Think carefully.”

Rook didn’t have to think. He already knew the answer.

“Joseph.”

Jacob smiled slightly as he took a drag. “Good. Then he should be the only person you try anything with from now on.”

“What about John?”

“He’s a big boy, he can find someone else. Look, Dep, the more you get caught up in who’s the best for you, who’s the most attractive, or however it is you pick your men, the harder it will be to get out if you need to.”

Rook nodded because he could understand the logic. He couldn’t run away if he was tied to so many people. Jacob was trying to simplify his love life and Rook was grateful, but that didn’t make it easier to swallow. He cared so much for John and  Sharky , he couldn’t leave them out in the cold. Could he?

“Do you remember me telling you about Miller?” Jacob asked after a couple minutes of silence. His face was relaxed but his eyes  reflected something Rook couldn’t decrypt. 

“Yeah, I do. He was your friend.” Rook remembered the story very well, the war, the cannibalism- it sent a shiver down his spine.

“That’s the official story. Unofficial was  that  we were together for years. We met in juvie and enlisted side by side, fought and trained and shared a bed every night. Most of the guys didn’t give a shit but back then, you couldn’t say anything about being gay. Not unless you wanted to get hurt bad. We kept quiet about it but once we’d done our part, we were  gonna find some place quiet and live the rest of our lives together.” Jacob grabbed the bottle and didn’t hesitate to drink heavily. “Shit happens, though, and you lose the people closest to you. I don’t know why the fuck you keep looking to me for advice on your love life. I’ve only ever had one  partner in my whole life and that didn’t even last more than a decade.”

“You’re not involved in my mess. I thought if anyone could see the problems, it would be you.” Rook scooted closer so their bodies pressed together. He hoped the contact would help Jacob’s shaky hands and restless eyes. The soldier was watching something but it wasn’t there, not anymore. Just a painful memory.

“You’ve made my brothers happy and for that, I’m grateful. But you’re selfish. You have a good thing going with Joseph and that should be enough. He gives you so much space, whatever you need he gives you on a silver platter. You disappear  into the wild , he doesn’t mind. You want to fuck his  brother, he says go ahead. Joseph agrees to so much of your crap, on top of all the damage you’ve caused to our family and our future. Stop asking for more because one of these days, he’ll say no and you won’t know how to handle his rejection and you’ll fuck things up for real.”

Rook had no words. The truth hit him harder than any physical pain he’d ever endured. He couldn’t look at Jacob so he stared at the treeline and the birds flying to and from their nests.

“Some days I just want to walk away and never come back,” he admitted quietly.  “Maybe it would be better for everyone else.”

“We all feel like that sometimes. You think my actions don’t haunt me? Even if you don’t count the war crimes, I lied to Joseph. I think about that day all the time. The thing is Rook, nothing’s stopping you. You could say goodbye and leave the county. The state. Hell, you could find a boat and drift  off  to another continent if you wanted.”

Rook took a gulp of whiskey and set it down, though Jacob didn’t touch it. “You’re not telling me to stay. I thought you’d fight to keep me here.”

“I ran too, you know. After juvie, I didn’t want anything to do with Georgia. Ended up just taking a few years away and came right back. Coming here was just because of Joseph. Listen, sometimes you can run your whole life and never find the right place. But I think you’ve got something special here.”

Rook nudged him with an elbow, smiling sadly. “You’re wiser than you look.”

Jacob scoffed but that tension eased and he relaxed a little. Revisiting buried memories wasn’t his idea of a fun afternoon. Still, he had work to do later and getting drunk wasn’t a solution.

“Do what you want at the end of the day, Rook. If you want to run, go ahead, but you won’t find whatever it is you’re looking for.”

“What am I looking for?” Rook wasn’t too sure what he meant.

“Stability. Family. I won’t lie, my brothers are difficult little shits and you haven’t picked an easy place in between us and the resistance but this could be your home too. It seems to me, every time I talk to you, you’re always lost and uncertain about everything.”

“It was easier when it was just point and shoot.”

“What did I tell you about dedicating yourself? You can still teach here. You won’t be alone. Staci’s joining the team now.”

Rook whirled round to Jacob, looking at him with a stunned expression. “He’s what now? When did this happen?”

“At the party. Turns out the Sheriff doesn’t think he’s stable enough for the job so he’s leaving. Personally, I think that’s bullshit so he’s coming here. I’ve needed a second in command since the bombs and he was happy with the offer. I take it he hasn’t told you.”

Jacob glanced at the gates where he waited for Staci to drive through. He didn’t have a time frame but still... he couldn’t wait to have the ex-Deputy at his side again. This time without the blood  or the song.

“No, he doesn’t speak about a lot of things anymore. You sure it’s a good idea to have him here? I mean, he wasn’t exactly your friend last time I saw you both together and at the party he disappeared pretty quickly.”

“We’ve gotten better. He... it’s still complicated as fuck but he’s doing this by his own decision. I didn’t force him.”

Rook hummed, pleased that Staci wasn’t being influenced. They never spoke much about Jacob or the past, left it to avoid darkening the mood. 

“I’m surprised he wants anything to do with you. Joey would rather die than hang out with John and I don’t blame her.”

“True but I think he understands his purpose.”

Rook snorted and laughed, confusing Jacob. “Bullshit. You say that but you have no clue why he’s willingly spending time with you.”

Jacob frowned, a little huff escaping his lips. “Yeah. True. I don’t have a fucking clue why but I’m not complaining. I need people here and I think Staci should learn how to lead. No better place to learn than here.”

“You grooming him or something?” 

Jacob crushed the remains of his cigarette in the concrete steps, taking delight in grinding the toe of his boot into the ashy stub. 

“I’ll need someone in charge someday. He’s young, fit, and he’ll do well. Staci doesn’t realise it yet but he was born to be a leader and I’m going to show him. It’s my fault he’s so fucked in the head, I should do something to make it up.” 

“Herald Staci.” Rook couldn’t say it without chuckling. “Doesn’t sound very scary.”

“No but Commander Pratt has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

Rook had to agree, it did. He just hoped that Staci would be happy with the future Jacob was laying out for him. Yet he saw a hidden message between Jacob’s words, something he was trying to mask with his encouragement. Jacob would step down one day. He was already planning for that moment and finding an heir to his little kingdom. 

“You’re not dying, are you?” Rook asked quietly, his knuckles brushing the outside of Jacob’s knee and the rough denim folded at the joint.

Jacob laughed vibrantly, startling others nearby including Rook. “No, of course not. What the fuck gave you that idea?”

“You need someone to take over some day.”

With a good-natured sigh, Jacob lifted an arm and wrapped it around Rook’s shoulders. He patted what he could reach and ruffled the Deputy’s shoulder-length curls. 

“Yeah, I’ll need someone I can trust when I want to retire. Jesus, Rook, I’m not dying. Don’t look so happy,  you asshole. I’ll be forty-eight this month and I need to think about who I’ll pass the centre and the Judges to when it’s time. Joseph will need to do the same someday when he can’t continue to lead his  P roject. It’s normal, kid. I know you’re young but it’s something we  all  have to think about.”

“I can’t picture anyone else in charge of the cult. It’s only ever been Joseph.” Rook didn’t want to  think of the day when his partner would be too old to lead or preach. It just upset him thinking about it. 

“I can’t either and thankfully, we won’t have to for a very long time. Joseph will be the heart of Eden’s Gate until his last breath-”

“Can we talk about something else? Please. I don’t want to think about that,” Rook interrupted, looking away before Jacob could see the faint wetness in his eyes. Jacob exhaled softly and ruffled Rook’s hair again.

“Relax kiddo. Nobody’s going anywhere-”

“ ** This is the King’s Hotel. We’ve got eyes on a fire coming from the Moonflower park. Something just blew up over there and the smoke’s quite high. Would you like us to intervene? Over. ** ” __

Jacob grabbed the radio from his belt so they could hear the transmission better. There was nothing he could do from so far away.

“Moonflower, huh? Guess your buddy’s still mad,” he commented, glancing at Rook who was worriedly looking in the distance. There were hills in the way and he couldn’t see from the valley dip the centre was built in but he wished he could.

“ **_ King’s Hotel, this is Herald John. I’m close by so I’ll check it out, hold off for now. Over. _ ** ”

“ ** Roger that. We’ll standby. Be careful up there, sir. Over. ** ”

John didn’t reply and Jacob hooked the radio back to his belt. He was frowning disappointedly in the distance like Rook. 

“Two days that crazy redneck ’ s been back and we’re  gonna have a wildfire.”

“He’s not that stupid. It’s probably just a pile of crap he’s burning,” Rook defended, hoping he was speaking the truth. He knew  Sharky loved fire more than sex and weed combined but the pyro wouldn’t set the county on fire. He wasn’t that reckless.

\---

The  two bags on the passenger seat of Staci’s car contained enough clothes and personal belongings, which wasn’t much when he really rooted through his apartment, to keep him happy as he settled into what would be his second home. Though he’d told Jacob he would still stay in the apartment, that had been just to remain on top of the agreement and not let Jacob get everything he wanted.  The drive from his home to the centre was bordering on two hours and filled with little winding roads with sharp corners. It would be easier to live at the centre.

As he drove between the tall gates, he noticed Jacob and Rook on the steps. Whatever they were talking about was interrupted as he parked close by and exited his car, shutting the old door noisily. He left his stuff behind so he could walk up empty-handed to the two men.

Rook stood and grinned at him, all warm sunny smiles and bear hugs, as Staci reached them. Jacob stood as well but he didn’t touch him, hovering awkwardly at the side as he waited for the Deputies to pull apart.

“It’s good to see you, Stace,” Rook said, patting his shoulder. “We’ve got some catching up to do, I think.”

“Yeah, yeah, you bet.” Staci turned to Jacob but he didn’t need to say anything. The look in his eyes was enough for the soldier to know what had happened.

“Come find me when you’re ready,” Jacob said with a nod. “Catch you later, Rook.”

Rook waved as Jacob retreated back into the centre, content to sit back down on the steps with Staci. They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the  Peggie s and the wolves and the chitter of birds in the trees.

“I turned in my badge,” Staci admitted at last with a sigh. He longed to smoke but he’d run out of cigarettes a week ago and nobody around was selling any.

Rook wrapped an arm around his shoulders and held his friend close. “You doing okay?”

“I don’t know. They didn’t want me anymore but I think it ’ s for the best. I’m not myself anymore.”

“And you’re going to stay here with Jacob?”

Staci shrugged, his fingers clawing at the torn fabric of his jeans. “Maybe. He offered me a place, a job. Can’t really refuse. I mean, I can but what else is there for me? My friends don’t trust me anymore, everybody looks at me like I’m this broken  _ thing _ \- I hate saying it but Jacob actually treats me like a person.”

Rook scoffed. “Makes a change.”

“Yeah, I know. Feels strange. He’s... not the only reason. I met someone and they really care about me. I want to say I’m doing the right thing but I just don’t know anymore.”

“That  Peggie you’re always hanging around?”

“Alex. He’s... different. He’s not  like those crazy fuckers out there, he shouldn’t even be here but he is. And I care about him too.” 

Rook nodded and patted his back. “Well, I can’t exactly judge, can I?”

Staci chuckled and smiled softly. He was so emotionally exhausted but surely that would end soon. He was leaving the past behind and moving forward with his life. 

“How’s it going at home? With  Sharky and Hurk.”

“I got into a fight with  Sharky and I think  Hurk is going to find his mom soon. We’ll just have to see what happens.”

“Life’s fucking complicated.”

Rook laughed and nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yeah. Hey, I should get back home. I suppose you’re going to settle in.”

“I brought some stuff but I still have the apartment. I don’t think I can just move out like that.”

“Fair enough.” Rook stood and brushed dust off his jeans, hugging Staci again. He lingered a moment. “Hey, you stay safe, okay? If you need it, there’s a bunker on Dutch’s old island. Grace lives there, she’ll keep you safe. Or you come straight to me. I’ll always be there for you.”

“Thanks, Rookie.” Staci held his friend close, half his face buried in Rook’s collar as he tried not to think about what they’d both gone through. He felt like he was saying goodbye for some reason, like Rook was the last person in his old life he’d ever see now that he was moving on. 

He pulled away, patting Rook’s arm as the older Deputy stepped back and headed for his car, dog and cougar in tow. He watched him drive out the gates, the old metal closing behind him, and it felt so final. 

He was alone at the Vet’s centre again, for the first time since the bombs, and he tried to ignore the sadness lifted off his shoulder only to be replaced by dread. Grabbing his bags and heading inside, he truly felt the weight of his actions. He was no longer a cop and he would never be again, he was going right back to his abuser willingly, and yet he walked confidently up to Jacob’s office.

He knocked and Jacob called out for him to come in. The soldier was sat at his desk, glasses perched on his nose as he read reports, and in another chair was Alex with his legs crossed and his book in his lap. There were two mugs of steaming coffee between them and blissful silence.

“Am I interrupting?”

Jacob waved weakly and shook his head. “Nope. Alex, why don’t you show Staci his new room?”

“Yes, Sir.” Alex folded the corner of the page down , set it on the desk, and stood. “Come on, it’s not far.”

The room was further down the corridor, spacious enough for a double bed, a simple chest of drawers, a tiny table and chair, and an old lamp with a faded red shade. It wasn’t much but it was fine for Staci. He dumped both bags beside the bed and sat on the thick comforter. The walls were  bare with empty shelves and it smelled of dust and  old  wood. He briefly stood to crack the tiny window open before sitting down again.

“So this is it, huh?” Staci asked, taking everything in with a blank expression. 

“I know it’s not much but I think you could make it nice,” Alex mumbled, equally unimpressed by the spartan room. He walked to the window and stared out to the mountains and trees and then down to the wall as someone patrolled beneath them.

“I didn’t mean the room. This doesn’t make me a  Peggie , does it?” Staci’s eyes glued to the cross on Alex’s back. 

“No. Not unless you want to be.”

“I don’t.”

“So then you’re not a  Peggie . Don’t stress too much. Think of yourself as an independent contractor.” Alex turned back and smiled. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Staci smiled back and reached out with one hand , his heart swelling when Alex came to him without a second thought. The Chosen sat beside him and rested his head on Staci’s shoulder, exhaling softly.

“I am too.”

\---

John mentioned nothing about the strange afternoon up at the trailer park. When he got home, he turned the engine off and left the keys in the ignition. He didn’t say anything for the entire ride, leaving  Sharky alone until the Jeep came to a stop. 

“I don’t deserve to be here,” the pyro mumbled, mourning the now silent radio. He glanced at the ranch and frowned.

“Says who? Look, you’re an idiot but you’re still our friend,” John replied, sighing deeply before he climbed out of his car and smoothed down his clothes, though he knew his jeans were ruined.

Sharky preferred to keep quiet and simply followed John inside. “I’m  gonna clean up.”

“Good idea.” John glanced at the blood, soot, dirt and sick.  Sharky noticed and slinked upstairs to his guest room.

When he came out the shower, the hangover  had eased to a low dull and he no longer felt like death. John had left more clothes folded on the bed.  Sharky wanted to get them but  Hurk was sitting beside them with his arms cross.

“Charlemagne Victor  Boshaw ,  you dumb son of a bitch. Just what in the Hell happened? Dep’s been gone all day, so’s you and John, and I got left behind with Joseph- and I am sick and tired of them  Peggie s lookin ’ at me like they want to chuck me in the river. If I didn’t know any better,  I’da thought you’d gone partying without me! But I heard one of them  Peggie radios say you was burning shit. The Hell, man?”

Hurk paused to breathe but he looked ready for another round.  Sharky held up one hand, the other holding his towel tight. 

“Look, today’s just been messed up. Can I get my clothes?”

Hurk raised a brow and looked at the jeans and soft navy jumper. “Your clothes, huh? Man, you couldn’t even afford fake Gucci.”

“Yeah, okay, they’re John’s. Can I have them? Don’t really  wanna stand here with my junk out all day.”

With a huff,  Hurk shuffled further away and let  Sharky grab for a pair of boxers. He turned away as his cousin dressed but that didn’t stop him from berating.

“Man, what is up with you? I thought things were cool.”

“I had a fight with Rook this morning and got hammered after.”  Sharky sat down beside Hurk, playing with the cuffs of the soft jumper as he pulled them up to just below his elbows. “It was dumb, I know.”

“ Cuz , everything to do with you is dumb.”  Sharky flinched and Hurk rushed to apologise, rubbing the back of his neck in shame. “Ah, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that you’re so stressed out, I guess  that’ s the word, you don’t really think anymore. Look, this  ain’t our world anymore. I know you and I had some fun together, blazing it  everyday , but like, you can’t go around burning shit up  ‘cause you feel like it. I don't think I need to remind you about that forest fire. You can't...”

Hurk rested a hand on Sharky's shoulder and sighed, rubbing it gently. 

"I _know_ it was an accident, we all do. But you can't do it again. We ain't got those water planes no more. Or hospitals. You gotta watch your temper." 

“I know and I'm sorry-”

“You say sorry to John? Bro, I saw how he looked before he came out of his room looking like a sexy supermodel. He was all muddy and his knees were scraped. I don’t know what the fuck happened but he looked like shit. I mean, he slapped on some makeup for certain.”

Sharky had to stop fidgeting before he tore out some threads. He knew exactly what  Hurk meant and even if he could remember snippets of the fight, John had kept the worst parts out of their conversation.

“I did, yeah. I was a dick to him. And to Rook.”

“Well, lucky for you, Rook came home about fifteen minutes ago so you can apologise to him as well.”  Hurk slapped  Sharky’s back. “Come on, stop moping around. Joseph’s making dinner and I hate saying it but he’s a damn good chef and I  ain’t planning on missing out.”

Sharky stood reluctantly, his head bowed as he walked out and followed  Hurk into the kitchen. The food wasn’t ready yet, another half hour from Joseph’s estimate, but  Hurk wanted to watch. And Rook really had come home.

The Deputy was sat at the dining table opposite John, giggling over a glass of wine. He seemed happy, a grin stretching wide from whatever John had said. It fell when he looked at Sharky. 

“Hey, man,”  Sharky said, feeling so awkward in the silence as John glanced up at him as well. “Can I talk to Rook for a moment? In private.”

“No.”  Sharky felt his stomach drop at Rook’s solid answer. 

Knowing John would be a witness,  Sharky started. “Okay, well, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said to you. It wasn’t fair or nice, and you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry.”

Rook’s face lightened a bit. “So you admit you were a dickhead?”

“Yeah. I was. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

Rook raised a brow for a tense moment, sipping his wine, before he grabbed the chair beside him and pulled it out. “Good.”

Sharky rounded the table, feeling their eyes on him as he sat down and scooted closer to the table. Rook and John simply fell back into their conversation but  Sharky didn’t feel like contributing. Instead, he watched how  Hurk patiently listened as Joseph taught him how to chop the vegetables without losing a finger.

It felt so domestic and normal. His makeshift family gathered around in the kitchen, some old music playing from the radio on the island counter. It felt a world apart from the broken places he’d lived in for months, the cold and the rain so far from where he was now.

He hardly noticed his cousin setting the plates just before the meal was brought over. Rook filled his glass with the same red wine he’d been casually drinking and it felt like the slate had been cleaned somehow without  Sharky knowing why or how. 

He glanced at Joseph holding Rook’s hand above the table and ignored the flicker of jealousy that ticked through him. So he redirected his attention to John, trying not to look at the smudge of foundation that wasn’t applied quite as thoroughly on his nose, and saw that the Baptist was watching him too with a tiny smile.

When he held out his hand,  Sharky gave him a puzzled expression. He glanced around and saw that everyone was holding hands and that Joseph was waiting for him. Linking himself to John and  Hurk ,  Sharky bowed his head.

“Dear Lord, thank for this meal you have provided for us. Thank you for giving us the strength to hold our heads high and survive in this new world, and  thank you for bringing our friends back to us safe and sound. Amen.”

“Amen,”  Hurk and John said in unison. Rook stayed quiet, keeping Joseph’s hand in his as the rest of the group started their meal.

Sharky glanced to John again, seeing that little smile despite the fact that he’d stayed silent too. He couldn’t understand why John gave him so many chances but he couldn’t deny the way his heart leapt into his throat when he felt the toe of John’s boot reach his leg. It wasn’t an accidental bump as his foot went higher to  Sharky’s knee before John couldn’t stretch out further without looking awkward. That little smile kept teasing him the whole way through dinner.

\---

Jerome was quite proud of the new gate that had been rebuilt for them after the Jacob Seed storm had passed through . It made him overly protective of the outpost and he’d added more guards on the walls to make sure they could never be surprised again. The trees were as useful as they were annoying, providing cover for the road.

However there was no mistaking the sound of an ATV rumbling up the slope. Jerome didn’t need to fetch Adelaide, she was already waiting by the gate to see her son again. When they opened and  Hurk Jr rolled in,  Jerome smiled.

“Baby! Oh  Hurk , you’re alright!” Addie cooed as  Hurk climbed off the ATV and ran into her open arms, spinning her off her feet. 

“Momma!” 

Jerome stepped closer, not wishing to disrupt as Addie broke into tears and so did  Hurk . They had never been very friendly to one another, mostly due to  Hurk never quite knowing how to stick around for long. Still, he was all the family she had left and she refused to let him go.

“You wouldn’t believe what I’ve seen, mom. The whole world’s a fucking mess. I’m just so happy you made it, mom. I checked everywhere for you and  Sharky but the houses were empty and there  weren’t nobody about. I’m sorry, I should’ve looked harder.”

“It’s okay. You’re here now, that’s all that matters.” She looked back to Jerome. “Uh,  Hurkie ? You remember Jerome, don’tcha?” 

Hurk wiped his face dry and broke into a grin. “Hell’s yeah, I do. Good to see you’re still fightin’, Father.”

He held out a hand and Jerome shook it. “Always. Each day I keep meeting our old friends. It’s a miracle how many survived.”

“It sure is,” Adelaide added, taking  Hurk’s arm. “Come on, I’ll show you around. This place is ours. You’ll love it.”

“Thanks, mom. So, are you and Father Jeffries...? You know,”  Hurk leaned down to whisper in his mom’s ear, “’ C uz I thought them priests had to be celibate or it was like, a sin or something.”

“It’s the end of the world, sweetie. You’d be surprised, he’s putting  me  to shame. Religious men are on a whole ‘nother level,  Hurkie .”

She patted his arm and laughed, trying not to burst into tears again.  Hurk Senior had been a premium cunt but her son wasn’t a bad person. Dense as a rock, yes, but he was kind and sweet and Adelaide had a habit of never knowing just how good she had it before it was taken away. But nobody would take her son, not again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 more to go before this story comes to an end!
> 
> If you didn't know, Sharky's got his own story right here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/20349595


	56. Silver Rings

A month passed and it was the most peace Rook had experienced since he’d moved to Hope County. There was tension and awkwardness, but there was peace. He knew it was a far cry from what he envisioned and the county was still saturated with spil led blood. The Seeds were right, it would take a very long time for the people to move past the tragedies.

Sharky took back his old home, the tiny shack on the edge of the cliff.  Hurk spent his time going between his friends but his official home became the old campgrounds with his mother. 

John did what he always did; trying to stay out of the way and stick to the cult. He rarely ventured out of Holland Valley and kept mostly to the ranch and managing supplies and people. The anger between him and  Sharky was slowly healing and Rook was overjoyed to see them laughing together again. John never mentioned the fires and the fight. It was a secret that he’d never speak of because it was easier to forget it and leave it in the recesses of his mind like the rest.

Jacob devoted himself to training Staci in the art of leadership and it seemed to come along well. Rook rarely saw the ex-Deputy as the weeks rolled by but Jacob praised his progress over dinner . He trusted Staci to carry out simple missions, even if they were tests and trials. And Staci was happy, or as pleased as he could be. He was useful and Jacob had given him a purpose.

Joseph’s cult didn’t grow much in size without the propaganda and the fearmongering. Those who decided to leave did so of their own accord and Joseph mourned his losses as each day he lost the precious power over them. The cult was still huge but it made Joseph question whether he was doing things wrong. Accepting that people changed wasn’t easy and Rook often saw the sermons he wrote begging for them to stay. 

Somehow Joseph himself managed to keep his head up. Rook knew how much it hurt him but Joe kept a brave face and handed it maturely. It wasn’t easy but those who were loyal stayed by his side and they kept proving it by bringing supplies and gifts. The ranch was filled with flowers and fabrics along with useful tools. It was a reminder that they still loved him.

It was why Rook was reluctant to bring up the expedition. Despite what they had gone through, Rook still had difficulty with the truth and he knew Joseph would not react well if he left now when life was tender at best. 

Jacob wasn’t around often enough for it to become a dinner table discussion. There was no time to mention it gently enough that it wouldn’t seem like a slap to the face. There were talks, maps left out in the open beside rough scribbles- but the idea of actually leaving Hope County for the first time in nearly two years, that was a thought Rook had not allowed to blossom for too long.

He wanted freedom and he needed to see what had become of the world beyond their mountains. The county had been so lucky, sheltered from most of the blast and fallout, but now it was time to move on. Rook never could stay still for long and no matter what he did, it lingered at the back of his mind. Escape. 

Not to escape from Joseph. No, it was nothing like that. Rook was curious and he needed to satisfy that hunger for more. He loved his life and out there, he knew he would crave home more than anything but right now it wasn’t enough. Rook had his fair share of running out without leaving notes, disappearing like a ghost when he felt like it. He couldn’t do that now. He wouldn’t risk the life he’d created for himself in the bloodiest place he’d ever visited.

Rook worked up the courage to speak with Joseph two weeks before Jacob put his plan into action. They were sat together on the balcony, sharing one of the last bottles of wine John had stashed in the bunker. It was a miracle there was any left at the rate Rook drank. Dinner had been nice, just the two of them under the stars and the warm summer breeze.

Looking out onto the darkened hills and mountains, Rook saw just how many lights shone and how many people had been saved. It reminded him of the first nights after the bunker had opened up, when there was nothing but darkness and nothing out there except two-thirds of the Seeds and  Sharky . They’d come so far.

He wanted to bring that to others. It was a lofty goal and perhaps being with the most powerful man in the county had gotten to his head, but Rook wanted to change the world. Not like Joseph but in his own way. He pictured establishing trades, rebuilding what was broken, making life about living and not just surviving.

Joseph entwined their fingers on the table top and smiled softly, the candles lighting up his face warmly. He’d let his hair down though it had grown long past his shoulders and would soon need a trim, much like Rook’s but neither seemed very bothered. 

“Is there something on your mind, dear?” Joseph asked fondly. “You’ve got that look in your eyes. Always spells out trouble.”

Rook chuckled and turned his head away for a moment. “There is, actually. I wanted to talk about something, just needed peace first, I guess.”

Joseph gestured with his free hand for Rook to speak, reaching for his glass after. Despite his rules, a little wine after dinner wasn’t a sin. An indulgence, perhaps.

“It was something Jacob told Staci back at the Rye’s party. He’s brought it up a few times after.  There’s people beyond our county. Lights in the distance . Jacob wants to clear the tunnels and start branching out. I want to be there. I wanna see what’s out there, who survived.”

“You’re leaving again.” Joseph's tone was dead, purposefully emotionless. 

“I am. I don’t know when exactly but it’s coming soon.  When he’s ready , Jacob plans to move out. It won’t be long till then.”

Joseph sighed and rubbed Rook’s knuckles with his thumb. “Staying here isn’t enough for you?”

“No. You know it isn’t. I’m coming back. I just need to go for a while. See something different. Meet new people. I love Hope and I’m never leaving you behind. That’s not what this is. I promise.”

“I know. It’s just... I’ve had to see you leave so many times.”

Rook couldn’t argue with him. Whether it was his own feet moving him or a kidnapping, Rook always left in some way. But he always came back too.

“I’ll be alright. And so will you.”

Joseph brought their linked hands up to his mouth to kiss Rook’s fingers softly, trying to keep a straight face. Rook leaned forward and gently cupped the preacher’s face, moving him into a slow kiss. Joseph relaxed under his touch but the damage was done.

“I love you, Joseph.”

Joe kissed the corner of his lips. “I love you too, Rook. And I’ll be right here when you come back to me.”

\---

“You fucking kidding me? Do you even have to ask, man?”  Sharky gestured wildly around his empty yard, sweat clinging to his torso from the enormous fire pit he’d burned out of sheer boredom. “Course I’ll come. I’m honoured. Hey, between us, was I your first choice?”

Rook laughed and threw an empty bottle into the fire, watching it shatter with satisfaction. “Obviously. I need my best guys on this. It won’t just be us, got a bunch of Jacob’s Chosen helping us out. I’m  gonna go around and ask Hurk too.”

“Oh, well, I think you can count  Hurk in. One month back with Adelaide and he’s more bored than I am. He’s fucking ready for some adventure, man. I don’t know about the girls, though. Seems like Jess and Grace cosied up nicely. What I’d give to see some of that action.”

There wasn’t much around the yard left to burn but Rook was happy watching the flames consume the mess of melted metal and glass.  Sharky slumped back in his lawn chair and took out a couple joints, passing one to Rook with a grin.

“You  ain’t a real officer no more, so this is perfectly legal.”

“I wouldn’t turn it down either way.” Rook leaned towards  Sharky so he could light it with that engraved lighter he got as a Christmas present from the Deputy. “Can’t believe you kept it.”

“Hell yeah, who do you take me for? Best gift ever. So, how long before we head off?”

“Couple of days. Jacob’s at the ranch right now explaining  the plan  to Joseph. Just come by and we’ll drive down to the tunnel together.”

“John knows?”

Rook nodded. “Yep though I’d say something to him before you go if I was you, man. He won’t be too happy.”

“He  ain’t an easy man to please. I’ll talk to him, don’t worry. You heading to Hurk?”

“Yeah, he’s in town getting drunk according to Mary May.” It didn’t matter that it was the middle of the day. Time was a concept to Hurk. “I should head off. Been fun burning shit.”

Rook wanted to pass the joint back but  Sharky shook his head. “Nah, keep it.”

Extinguishing it on a nearby brick, Rook shoved the roll up into his pocket  for later  and waved Sharky goodbye. 

When he reached Fall’s End, he was more than astonished to see the wall up close. Made of sheet metal and concrete, it was tall enough to reach rooftops. Two gates on either end of the main road were operated by rotated armed guards and watchtowers stood at each of the four corners boxing in the town. It wasn’t pretty but it could withstand whatever came out from the other side of those tunnels. It made the townsfolk feel safer.

Hurk was sat inside the Spread Eagle, enjoying the air conditioning Mary put on. It was pretty empty, just a couple other day drunks. Rook approached and slapped a hand on  Hurk’s shoulder, startling him. Whipping his hands out kung- fu style,  Hurk tried to save face.

“Jesus H Christ, Rook. You damn near gave me a heart attack.”

“Wanted to test your reflexes. I heard you’re dying to cut Adelaide’s apron strings again.”

Hurk pulled a face. “I love my momma but I am sick of hearing her every hour of the day moaning and yelling. I get it, she’s got a thing for men of the cloth but it’s constant. I can’t sleep, I can’t masturbate  cus then I’m doing it to my momma in the next room- Rook, I cannot live like this anymore.”

Rook put a fist to his own mouth to stop from laughing but a little chuckle came out when he spoke. “Listen, I’ve got a job coming up. We’re heading out of the county in a couple of days. I need you, buddy.  Sharky’s already in. I need to know if you’re joining.”

Hurk blinked owlishly for a moment before pumping his fist in the air.  “It’ll be like a camping trip with my best buds. Fuck yeah, I’m in! Look, I’ll do anything you want, man. Just get me out of there.”

“Alright, good. Meet us at the ranch in two days. Bright and early. Try to be sober.”

Hurk laughed noisily. “Can’t promise that, amigo.”

Rook patted his back and left, waving to Mary May. Now he just needed to make sure everything was ready on Jacob’s end and then they could go. He was so excited, couldn’t hold in the energy bundling up.

\---

The summer heat was already too warm first thing the next morning but Boomer and Peaches wanted to run around so Rook had to leave the cool comfort of the ranch. Joseph joined him and they walked silently hand in hand down to the river. The pets didn’t hesitate to jump in the water, barking and kicking up waves.

Rook sat in the shade of a tree, smiling as Joseph followed and stretched out his legs. He was  too  busy watching the animals to notice Joseph messing around with his pocket.

“Rook?”

“Hmm, yeah?” Rook glanced to his partner and forgot to breathe. 

Joseph had moved to kneel on one knee and he held a silver band between his thumb and index. 

“You’re leaving tomorrow and I don’t know when I’ll get another chance. Rook, you’ve made me the happiest man on Earth and I could not ask God for  a  better person to stay by my side . Will you marry me?”

Rook was stunted, staring at the ring as if it was an illusion, a mirage caused by the Bliss lingering in the air. He looked up to Joseph’s nervous smile and the answer was obvious.

“Yes. Of course, I will.”

He felt numb as Joseph laughed happily and slipped the ring onto his finger but it all came crashing down on him as Joseph took his face into his hands and kissed him. He was getting married. Joseph actually loved him enough to want him for life. Rook clung to him for dear life.

“I love you so much,” he babbled as Joseph kept kissing his lips and cheeks and just about anywhere he could reach.

“I love you too.”

“Oh God, you proposed to me.”

“I did.”

“Who’s  gonna do it? How do you even plan a wedding?” Rook's heart was beating so fast, he was expecting it to fly out of his chest. A million thoughts raced through his head. He'd never gone to a wedding, or had any clue what was supposed to happen. What about the vows or the speeches? Did he have to write them all in a hurry?

Joseph shrugged. “John can marry us. And it can just be a small thing. We can radio your friends and tell them to come over tonight. Does that sound okay?”

“Yeah, I don’t want them to miss something like this.”

“Good. Then let’s head back and start preparing things.” Joseph stood up and helped Rook up to his feet. 

“How long have you been planning this?” 

“Around the time you started becoming part of the family. When we first came here together, I already knew I wanted to be even closer to you and we did. I suppose I just started wanting it more and more but with everything that’s happened, I wanted things to settle first. And then the schedule changed and I had a deadline.”

Rook linked their hands as they walked back up the slope, staring at the shining ring. He was surprised it fit so well but then again, it was Joseph and the man always had  an uncanny eye for details. He heard Boomer bark excitedly as the dog ran out of the water.

“That reminds me, I will need the ring back. Just until I can give it back tonight.” Joseph ducked his head, chuckling to himself. “I could only find one your size that seemed perfect for you.”

Rook tried not to burst out into laughter. “Fine, fine, but that’s a little cruel, don’t you think? I just got it. But you're right, i t is perfect. I love it. Thank you.”

Boomer and Peaches ran ahead, always so full of energy. Rook didn’t know where they got it from. Though he felt lighter than before, and he refused to let go of Joseph's hand as they trailed back up to the ranch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you weren't expecting that!


End file.
